


Sacred Heart

by bitter_eyes, ElectricJo



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Dirty Jokes, Dirty Talk, Drunkenness, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Handcuffs, Homophobic Language, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Music, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, POV Alternating, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Physical Abuse, Piercings, Pining, Present Tense, Punk, Rimming, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Build, Stucky - Freeform, Swearing, Tattoos, Underground Scene, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:06:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 65
Words: 395,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4759313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitter_eyes/pseuds/bitter_eyes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricJo/pseuds/ElectricJo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve G. Rogers lives a happy life in his beloved city Brooklyn, NY. He is the well known artist owner of the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop where he works along with his friends, he enjoys listening to music and going to hardcore shows, Steve also likes to train at the mixed martial arts gym called The Red Room, aside from that, he spends time with his best friend, Captain, his golden retriever. He loves his life and his daily routine, he has control of his life and that's the way he likes it. But then, everything changed, Bucky Barnes walked into his life and nothing was ever the same.</p><p>***</p><p>Getting drunk on the weekends, waking up past noon, chewing with his mouth wide open and showering whenever he wants to, that's what Bucky enjoys the most. James B. Barnes works as a Private Consultant and Translator for Stark Industries which means he goes in and out when he pleases, it pays good money and that gives him time to do whatever he wants, he also has a part time job at a local Tattoo Shop as a piercer. He lives with his best friend Natalia, he rides his fixie bike, plays guitar and sings on a band called Howling Commandos. His life was normal, perhaps a bit boring from time to time, until Steve Rogers happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it twice a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

Steve isn’t late, per se, but Sam wanted to buy the tickets before the show so they’d have enough time to get a cheeseburger before it started. Now, however, if they wanted to catch the local bands’ number, the cheeseburger would have to wait until the show was over, which hopefully wouldn’t be too late because Steve was starving, _as always_.

Tonight’s show is at HYDRA, a local bar that hosts small concerts leaning more towards the punk music genre. Steve tried to avoid going there because he always felt out of place, the environment made him feel hostile and unwelcome, and just… _wrong_ ; but tonight he had to make an exception, one of his favorite bands is playing there and he couldn’t miss it.

Only ‘cause a bunch of punk kids would look at him weird?

 _Seriously, Rogers,_ _who cares what people think_?

Besides, when he saw the flyer for tonight’s show, he knew he had to be here, three touring bands and two local, a mix of music genres in one show for a small amount of money (“ _put on your big boy pants, Steve, we are going!_ ” Sam insisted as soon as they found out about the show).

When Steve finally parks in front of the bar, he sees Sam walking towards him as he got off of his motorcycle, “you took too long, old man,” his friend whined exaggeratedly.

“Sorry, I was wrapping up a client, huge back piece”, Steve apologizes with a toothy smile.

“Yeah, yeah”, he waves a hand in dismissal, “you owe me a burger”, Sam adds narrowing his eyes, “and also a milkshake”, the man demands.

“Seems fair”, Steve says like the good friend he is, “who’s playing first?” he asks as he follows Sam to the front door of the bar.

“Locals, Howling Commandos”, Sam confirms as he hands Steve his ticket.

“Have you heard them before? Are they any good?” Steve questions walking through the front door and into the lobby.

“I’ve heard of them, wait and listen for yourself”, Sam says with a smirk on his lips.

***

Natasha was fussing with his hair as he was trying to take a knot out of the chord of his microphone, “Bucky, you should cut your hair, it’s getting too long and ratty,” she says locking a rebel strand of hair behind his ear.

“This length is okay, maybe I’ll have it a little bit shorter than yours by winter, and that’s as far as I’ll let it grow,” Bucky says, finally untangling the cord.

“You want me to help you take off your brace?” Natasha asks.

“Yes, please”, he nodded, “I’ll put it back on after playing”, shrugging his shoulders casually.

She hums quietly, looking around the place, “don’t screw up tonight”, she says and Bucky frowns his eyebrows, he noticed when she spotted someone entering the room but he didn’t bother to turn around, “wait a second, I’ll be right back”, Natasha pats his shoulder before she walks away.

Bucky went back to setting up his microphone and guitar, mumbling to himself because _seriously what is it with these stupid cords that won’t cooperate._ He makes the mistake of looking up to see who Natasha was saying hi to, first he notices Sam, he had seen him at shows before and he was pretty sure Natasha and him might have a thing going on.

But then he notices that Sam was not alone, he is with a tall, blonde guy, _is his golden, soft hair glowing, or is it just me_? Big, soft and clear blue eyes, _and those eyelashes_ , very good looking, _gorgeous, and handsome, and unff_. Muscular in all the right places, _you mean everywhere_ _and how are those shoulders even real?_ He is wearing a black t-shirt that stretches across his chest, _I guess there wasn’t a smaller shirt_ , short sleeves revealing the tattoos all over his toned arms, _I want to lick those, yes, I do_ , khaki shorts and black sneakers, _what a nerd, so adorable_ , _definitely a hardcore kid._

Seconds later, Natasha comes back like she said she would but _sadly_ , she is alone, “who’s that?” Bucky asks trying to keep his cool.

“Just Sam and a friend”, Natasha answers smiling devilishly.

“A friend of yours or a friend of Sam’s?” Bucky wonders, ignoring the look on Natasha’s face.

“Why, you jelly?” She replies smirking at him.

“Eww, no”, he rolls his eyes with exaggeration.

“No, you dipshit”, she chuckles, “not of me”, Natasha shakes her head, her perfectly styled hair moving around her shoulders, “but seriously though, are you interested?” She wonders raising one perfectly plucked eyebrow at him.

“Hmm…. Meh!” he shows her his best unimpressed face along with a shrug of his shoulder, but Natasha always knew better and looked right through him.

_She’s scary like that._

“Yeah, right”, she huffs, “no one says _meh_ about Steve, he’s so dreamy”, Natasha assures him.

“Then what are you waiting for?” He asks, trying not to bite his tongue as the words escaped his mouth.

 _Steve, huh? Steve, Steeeeeve, I’m sure I’ll remember that name_.

“Oh no, he’s too goody-goody for me, he’s straight edge”, Natasha comments.

“Whaaaaaat?” Bucky whines.

_Oh shit, he’s perfect, where has he been all my life?_

“Stop staring, you have a gig to perform!” She yells cutting Bucky’s train of dirty thoughts that nobody needs to know.

“Fine!” Bucky says trying to sound annoyed.

***

“Steve, whatever you do, don’t look to your right”, Sam says with a concerned look on his face.

“Why?” Steve asks as he starts doing exactly what Sam told him not to.

“God damn it, Steve, seriously?” Sam hisses at Steve.

“ROGERS!” a husky and low voice yells across the room, _Rumlow_ , he sees the man walking towards him, Sam grimaces and frowns his nose.

“Hello, Rumlow”, Steve answers shaking the man’s hand.

“Sam, hey,” Rumlow says with an un-amused expression. 

“‘Sup”, Sam responds without looking at the guy directly.

“Surprise to see you guys here, not really your scene”, the man lifts an eyebrow at him.

“We just couldn’t miss this show, plus supporting the local bands, I guess ” Steve scratches the back of his neck.

“Right, I’ll see you guys later”, the brunet says as he walks away from them towards his friends.

As soon as Rumlow was far from hearing distance, “God, Steve, I hate that guy!” Sam exclaims.

“C’mon, he’s not that bad”, Steve assures looking up to the small stage as soon as he starts hearing sounds coming from the speakers.

A guitar riff is momentarily heard, the vocalist for the first band appears from behind the guitar set, “thanks for showing up early, we’re the Howling Commandos”, the man says with a blank expression.

“Their sound reminds me of old Dead Kennedys!” Sam yells leaning in to him, Steve only nods not looking away from the man in front of him.

They guy starts singing and Steve is mesmerized, his knees feel weak and his chest tight. The vocalist is well built, his hair long just a couple of inches below the ear, a few strands of hair falling into his face, and Steve fights back the urge to run his fingers through it, put those strands behind the brunet’s ears, _and shit, those eyes_. The guy has a piercing stare, big grey-blue eyes under thick and long eyelashes that fan out over his pink and sharp cheekbones.

Halfway through their set, he takes both his jean vest and shirt off to reveal a really nice _and sweaty_ body, his clavicles prominent against his tanned skin and his abdomen ripped with muscles. His jeans, Steve notices, is riding dangerously low on his hips, the fabric tight on his frame in all the right places.

Steve swallows a lump of saliva he didn’t even realized he was holding, his eyes dart back to the man’s chest noticing both of his pierced nipples _, I didn’t even realized that was a thing for me._ He has a tattoo sleeve on his left arm, artwork running from his wrist all the way to the top of his shoulder, metal blades overlapping each other giving more definition to the guy’s muscles and a red star on the side of his shoulder, it looked bionic, _it’s beautiful, biomechanical_.

Trying to focus to listen the music and failing as the man in front of him starts to move his body to the rhythm of his guitar, rolling his hips back and forth, “shit”, Steve hisses to himself.

_This guy is going to be the death of me._

Steve’s stomach rumbles, he didn’t know if it was hunger or something else, but he sure takes a mental note to buy Sam ten cheeseburgers with fries, _and a milkshake_ , for making him get early to the show.

 ***

When the Howling Commandos finish their set, Bucky unplugs his things and gathers them on the side of the stage, he puts his clothes back on before he put their instruments away, he stands up along with his band-mates and waits for the next band to set up their stuff.

He ducks to fiddle with the _stupid_ chords from his guitar and starts daydreaming, he couldn’t take his mind away from the hot blond on the crowd, for some reason his face seems familiar, but Bucky would have definitely remembered him if that was the case, _right?_ The room is dark around them and there is only a bright light above the stage so he didn’t notice if the guy was even staring at him or not, but if Bucky moved his body more than usual nobody seemed to mind, he tried to put on a show and be a good front man.

“Bucky?” Dum Dum’s voice brought him back to reality.

“What’s up?” Bucky asks.

“Oh, nothing, you seemed a bit off”, the man in the bowler hat says.

“Is it Rumlow?” Gabe wonders.

“Nah”, he shakes his head, “I’m fine”, Bucky assures.

“Hey, haven’t you thought about getting yourself a new guy?” Monty teases.

“Um, not really”, Bucky hums.

“Single and ready to mingle”, Dum Dum yells before the next band starts to play.

Bucky stands on the side of the stage along with his friends; Natasha comes to join him in no time since she knows that he doesn’t like to be alone at HYDRA, he always feels eyes on him, stares and looks that make him uneasy.

The band that was playing wasn’t in Bucky’s interests but he decides to stay behind and try to enjoy the music, he likes spending time with them as much as he can, he feels it’s been long since he used to hang out with his friends. Natasha is always there for him and he’s happy she can count on her no matter what.

He doesn’t want to let his sourness and bitterness ruin the moment since he is actually having a nice time. Natasha was standing to his right and he tries to look around and spot the good lucking blond guy he saw earlier, he spots Sam but the man was in Bucky’s way so he couldn’t see anything; he huffs giving up trying to look for him.

“I thought you said meh”, Natasha leans to the side to yell at his ear.

“I don’t know what are you talking about!” he shouts.

“You can’t fool me, James”, she smirks and Bucky just rolls his eyes.

***

The show is coming to an end and Steve keeps trying to catch Natasha’s eye to get introduced to the Howling Commando’s vocalist; he noticed he’s a friend of hers, but neither of them were looking his way at all.

_Natasha, turn around, please!_

Just as he notices Natasha is turning his way, _finally_ , Clint comes walking towards him and Sam, screaming, “GUYS, I LOST ONE OF MY HEARING AIDS, HAHAHA!” the man chuckles.

“Why didn’t you take them off before you went dancing in the mosh-pit?” Sam asks.

“Shit, Sam, really? I have to leave one on! If I don’t, I can barely hear the band, you can’t just tell people to take off their hearing aids, Sam!” Clint says rolling his eyes, but there was no anger in his voice.

Steve could not resist the full body laughter exploding through his body as he grabs on to Sam for equilibrium. “C’mon Steve, you owe me a burger, maybe two”, Sam points his index finger at him, “Clint, do you want to come with us? WE’RE GOING TO THE DINER!” Sam shouts.

“Jesus, Sam, you don’t have to yell!” Clint answers winking at Steve as he puts the other hearing aid, the one that wasn’t missing, “so, let’s go”, Clint giggles.

He has to abandon the idea of meeting Natasha’s handsome friend, he doesn’t want to intrude or perhaps he is more than just Natasha’s friend. _Oh, well_.

Luckily, when they arrive at the diner, they manage to get the last corner table in the diner; they were about to finish placing their order when Brock and Jack sat at the table with them without even asking for permission to do it, “great” Sam whispers under his breath.

“You guys just go ahead, sit there”, Clint chuckles with annoyance in his voice and Steve gives him a slight kick on the leg.

“I’ll have a double cheeseburger with extra fries and a diet coke, sugar”, Brock says to the waitress ignoring Clint’s sarcastic tone, “and he’ll have a cheeseburger, onion rings and a strawberry milkshake”, pointing at Jack, the man just nods.

“What did you guys think of the show?” Steve asks after the waitress leaves.

“I personally had a lot of fun but I would have preferred not to have lost my hearing aid”, Clint remarks.

“I really liked that local band, The Howling Commandos”, Steve comments, _I liked them a lot_.

“They’re ok, I guess”, Rumlow suggests with a shrug on his shoulders.

“I don't like those guys”, Jack says solemnly.

“ Yeah? Why?” Steve asks trying to sound indifferent.

“ I just don't”, Jack answers plainly.

***

After the show ended, Natasha and Bucky walked into the diner, it is super packed as usual, “let’s just ask for takeout, I’m super tired”, Bucky whines.

“Fine, fine”, Natasha huffs, “hey, but look, there’s Sam and Steve, let’s go sit with them”, Natasha turns to start walking towards their table.

_Oh, that sounds promising but whom are they sitting with? Shit._

_“_ No!” Bucky demands.

“You don’t have to be so negative about it, jeez!” she shakes her head, “just tell me you don’t want to”, the redhead adds.

“They’re sitting with Brock and Jack, Natalia”, Bucky hisses back.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry”, she smiles kindly, “let’s just pretend we didn’t see them and head out as soon as we get our takeout”, Natasha pats Bucky’s bicep.

“Thank you”, Bucky says to her with a sad smile on his face.

 _I hate that asshole_.

“I didn’t know they were friends”, Natasha assures him shaking her head.

“Just eww, that’s what I think”, Bucky frowns his nose; he grabs their take out boxes of food and turns on his heel towards the door.

_Too good to be true._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it once a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

The alarm goes off at 7 a.m. but Steve is already putting on his running shoes, he really needs to clear his head from what happened the previous day. _I don’t even know his name, it could be Walking, Talking, Breathing, Sex God_ for all he knows.

He walks into his kitchen to make a small protein shake, _Captain_ , his golden retriever, is already following him around the house for their morning jog; by eight thirty a.m. they are back in the house drenched in sweat, Steve’s clothes sticking to his skin uncomfortably. He leaves the coffee machine on while he takes a shower, _a very COLD shower_ ; he really needs to shake his thoughts to have a good start of his day.

He puts on a grey Henley, dark jeans and black sneakers and walks back to the kitchen to make himself breakfast and check his schedule for the day. He opens the door to the backyard so that Captain can spend the day outside if he wants to, he also fills his plates with fresh kibble and water.

“I have to go, buddy, but I’ll be back by eight, don’t bother the squirrels”, Steve says kindly as he walks back inside, he puts on a jacket and grabs his helmet and keys, locks the front door and heads to his motorcycle to start a new day.

He arrives at the tattoo shop by ten a. m., Darcy is opening up, “good morning”, Steve greets cheerfully.

“Good day to you”, the brunette nods, “Oh man, you have a packed day today, good luck!” she smiles.

“Thanks, I’m going to work on Phil’s back piece, first thing today”, Steve comments.

“He has the biggest crush on you, poor old man”, Darcy smirks.

“It’s just admiration, not a crush”, the blond man tries not to blush so much _and fails_.

“Yeah, keep telling that to yourself”, Darcy remarks setting her stuff behind the counter while Steve turns on the lights.

Thor walks in scraping his muddy boots on the carpet in the entrance, “You better take those off before you come in here”, Darcy warns him.

“Darcy, dear friend, you always clean up in the morning”, Thor answers.

“And that makes it ok to get mud all over the floor?” she says, waving her arms at him.

“Well, I…” the bigger man stutters.

“Thor, take off those awful boots now, stop arguing with her, you are not going to win this battle”, Loki remarks standing behind Thor at the entrance, “and be hasty about it, we haven’t got all day”, he pushes his brother aside with a smack on the shoulder.

Thor reluctantly starts taking off his boots and puts on a pair of slippers that were tucked away in the closet near the door; he leaves his stuff on the assigned area that Darcy organized for them. He walks towards their whiteboard where their schedule is to make some adjustments; Loki walks behind Darcy and whispers good morning down her neck before he moves towards his piercing workstation, she smiles at him shyly and starts up the computer in the front counter.  
  
Phil Coulson arrives at ten forty-five a.m. for his eleven o’clock appointment; Steve was working on an illustration on his light desk when Phil started peeking around him, “Oh hey, good morning”, Steve says, “sorry, I didn’t notice you had arrived”, he smiles.

“I cleared my throat at the door so I assumed you heard me”, Phil replies shyly, “I’m sorry I’m a bit early”, the older man nods. 

“It’s no problem”, he hums, “if you want to start, please have a seat”, Steve points at the seat next to him.

“Oh no, I can wait, I was just looking at you drawing”, Phil comments, “I mean, at the drawing you were doing, is that ok?” he asks.

“Yeah, sure”, Steve assures, “you know? I could do this for another fifteen minutes and we’ll start on you at eleven sharp”, Steve confirms.

“Yes, that sounds good”, Phil grins at him.

At eleven, Phil walks back to the open leg seat and sits down to take his shirt off. The guy is well built, _for a thirty something year old man_ , and Steve wonders for how long he has been doing exercise, “are you working at SHIELD this weekend?” Steve asks as he starts working on the man’s tattoo.

“Well, I own the place, I’ll be there but I won’t be working, are you going to the show on Friday?” Phil asks as he shifts to get comfortable.

“Yes, I probably am, I want to see some of the touring bands, especially Bane, in case I don’t get to see them on their last tour”, Steve explains.

“Oh yeah, they’re great, I got to see them last year in Boston, it’s a shame they’re breaking up”, Phil shakes his head.

“I thought I heard your voice”, yells a loud man at the door.

“Hey, Stark”, Phil answers.

“Man, that's turning out great, you are one talented son of a bitch”, Tony says to Steve, pointing at Phil’s back, “I have an appointment with Thor in like fifteen minutes, but I have to be in a conference call in 5 minutes so I don’t know how that’s going to work out”, the man with the goatee hums.

“You can always re-schedule” Steve offers.

“I don’t have time to do that, guess they’ll just have to deal with the sound of the machine”, Tony shrugs his shoulders, “but first, I have to wake up our interpreter”, he comments as he takes his phone out of his jeans pocket and starts dialing someone, “rise and shine, sleepy head, it’s already eleven twenty”, Tony laughs, “c’mon, I need you up and running for a conference call”, he demands.

“Yeah, it’s today, and remember my dad wants you to check some blueprints in the evening” Tony says, “yeah, that’s fine, you can go after your appointment”, he leans against the doorframe of Steve’s working station, “yes… no, tomorrow though”, he shakes his head, “ok, you ready?” he questions, “I’m putting you through…” Tony continues walking off into the other room.

“Well, he’s a handful”, Steve says, “he’s so aloof about his work though, it’s really surprising how much of an enterprise Stark Industries is”, he comments.

“I heard that!” Tony shouts from the other room, Phil and him start giggling.

***

 “Also, the Japanese ambassador thing is this week right?” He asks the man on the phone.

“Yes, Bucky-nator”, Tony chuckles.

Bucky rolls his eyes as he turns around to lay on his belly, he presses the phone against his ear and tries not to get annoyed when he hears Tony chatting with someone in the background, “Thor, be gentle with me”, his friend says.

_What the hell?_

“Where are you?” Bucky questions.

“About to get destroyed”, Tony giggles.

“What?!” Bucky yells.

“Relax, perv”, the man chuckles, “I’m getting tattooed”, he explains.

“Oh, sweet”, Bucky sighs.

The business call ends an hour later, _finally_ , and Bucky decides to go back to sleep, only to be interrupted by Natasha coming into his room and stealing his blankets “c’mon, wake up”, she demands.

“Noooo, leave me alone”, he huffs, “I just hang up on a conference call with some Russians”, Bucky replies to Natasha.

“You told me to wake you up after my bath so you could be in time for your appointment”, she reminds him.

 _“_ Mmmmm, ok, but I’m hungry mom! _”_ he whines.

“I’m not your mother but I think there’s waffles in the fridge, you can make yourself some”, Natasha sighs.

“Leggo my eggo?” Bucky says propping his head from the nest of pillows.

“Leggo my eggo”, she answers as she walks out of the room.

A while later, Bucky is having breakfast at the counter while Natasha is getting her gym bag ready to go to work, “I’m going to take a few laps in the bike before heading for work”, he comments to her.

“And you’re not going to a take a shower before?” she asks wrinkling her nose at him.

“No, it’s not Friday”, Bucky says.

_Who showers anymore?_

“You are such a slob”, she chuckles

“I’m saving water!” he says proudly.

“Ok, Mr. Environmentalist, I’m heading out, you should visit me at work sometime, God knows you have the time, at least to get some eye candy”, she says picking up her bag.

“Noup”, he says popping the ‘p’, “thank you, I bet there’s no cute guys”, he shrugs.

_If there’s someone that looks like Steve there maybe I’ll go, and exercise, if you know what I mean._

“Well, you won’t know unless you go”, she lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Hmm, no”, he hums trying to sound like he was actually thinking about it.

_Hell no._

After a couple of laps in his fixie, Bucky arrives at the Tattoo Shop he works part time as a piercer, his fulltime job is basically as an interpreter for Stark Industries, but they only call him when they need him. He really doesn't get the guys who work here and hopes to get a much more stable job someplace else.

After 3 appointments and two walk-ins, he goes into the Stark Tower to check out the blueprints Tony was talking about. Howard Stark was leaning against a light table looking at the pieces of paper, “Hi, James, check these out, they were sent to me this morning, the engineer working on them made some annotations here and I think they are in French, I have a slight idea on what he was trying to say but I’d rather not make any assumptions”, Mr. Stark explains.

“Ok, let me look at them”, he offers, “yes, that’s French”, he nods, “it says this is too heavy and then over here it says that it needs reinforcement”, he points out with his finger without touching the paper, “I don’t mind but why didn’t you ask him yourself?” Bucky wonders.

“He resigned today, personal problems, I’m handing the project to Tony and Bruce Banner”, Howard says putting the blueprints away.

“Oh, I read about Bruce recently, in the newspaper, super genius right?” Bucky asks.

“Yes, what a fantastic young man”, Howard answers with a grin on his face.

***

After work, Steve heads out to downtown on his motorcycle to train at The Red Room, a mixed martial arts studio owned by Natasha, he’s been anticipating to talk to her for most of the weekend, he really needs to know _sex god_ ’s name.

He walks in and Natasha is already training with someone else, he moves into one of the changing rooms to put on his work out clothes and heads back out right away. He starts his workout by stretching, and then he settles with a punching bag, hitting it slightly because he’s not wearing any gloves.

Natasha comes towards him a little after, “you ready to get beat up, Rogers?” she asked with a smirk on her face.

“Yeah, about that… I wanted to ask you something”, he says as they start walking towards the training area.

 “Hmm ok, but the session starts now”, she says before she starts throwing kicks and hits at Steve.

“You know last week… ahg!” he grimaces, “last week’s show”, he adds.

_Damn it._

“Yeah?” she asks quirking an eyebrow.

“Woooah!” Steve exclaims as he hits the ground, “Last week’s show, you know the band that opened”, he sighs standing back up.

“Yeah, The Howling Commandos”, she nods.

“Yes, you’re friends with them, right?” He asks trying to sound casual.

_I want to know the name of the gorgeous vocalist._

“Why? You want an EP or something?” she asks throwing another kick at him.

“Well, HOO!” he frowns, “Ouch… I was wondering when they’re playing again”, he questions.

_Why can I just ask for the guy’s name, grow a pair, Rogers!_

“I don’t know if they’re playing again this month, I think they’re going to the show on Friday”, she comments moving away from Steve’s hits.

“Agh!” the blond replies hitting the ground again.

_This lady is killing me._

“You’re really distracted tonight Rogers”, Natasha says.

“So, you guys are going to the show on Friday?” he asks trying no to sound too excited.

“Yeah, it’s a possibility”, Natasha answers offering her hand to him.

“Ok then”, he takes her hand to stand back up and take his position. _Again._

He continues training with her for the rest of the night but he remains quiet after that, he doesn’t know how to ask her without prying and he is afraid the guy might be more than a friend, Natasha would obviously be angry at him if he showed interest in someone she was dating so he forgets about the situation for the rest of the session.

When Steve arrives home, he takes a second shower and goes back to bed after eating a small dinner, he is currently sitting against the headboard with a sketchbook in hand and his phone on the other, he sends Sam a text message.

 **Steve Rogers:** Sam…

 **Sam Wilson** _:_ Hello Stevoooo!

 **Steve Rogers:** WE ARE SO GOING TO THE SHOW THIS FRIDAY

 **Sam Wilson:** Caps lock much? D:

 **Steve Rogers** : SAM!

 **Sam Wilson:** Ok this Friday

 **Steve Rogers:** Tell Clint

 **Sam Wilson:** Ok, Clint has been told ;)

 **Steve Rogers:** Are you still at work?

 **Sam Wilson:** We’re just closing up actually.

 **Steve Rogers** _:_ Ok, goodnight :p

***

“Soooooo, Natalia”, he says as a way of greeting her as soon as she walks through the door.

“Hello to you too”, she dumps her gym bag on the floor and moves to sit next to him on their couch.

“I have a question”, he informs.

Bucky is having trouble forgetting the _hot sexy_ blond from the other day, he hasn’t mentioned anything to Natasha about it since she would probably avoid him, but he wants to know who he is, scratch that, he needs to know.

“What is it?” she says sounding annoyed, like she knows what the question is.

“Where did you meet Sam?” he asks.

“Sam?” she says, “are you sure that’s what you want to know?” she narrows her deep green eyes at him.

“Yeap”, he shrugs.

“Through a friend”, she says plainly.

“That’s it? That’s the only thing you’re telling me?” he huffs crossing his arms over his chest like a child.

“I answered what you asked”, she chuckles.

“Pheww, thanks”, he sighs bitterly, “what a great chat”, he shakes his head.

Natasha stands up from the couch and goes to pick up her bag again, Bucky follows her with his eyes when she walks back to check the lock on the door before she moves past him, “I’m going to take a shower”, she informs, “and if I’m in a good mood when I’m out, I might tell you what you want to know”, Natasha declares.

“Nat, have I ever told you you’re the best?” he jokes with a smirk on his face.

“I know, I don’t need you to tell me”, she winks at him over her shoulder before she walks away.

After she leaves, Bucky waits not so patiently on the living room, the television is on but he’s not actually paying attention, he starts to browse around on his phone, watching baby animal videos on YouTube, wasting time on Instagram and searching new artists on Spotify, that’s when he got the great idea of looking for the man he desperately wants to meet.

He goes into his room and spreads over the mattress with his belly down, he opens up his laptop and pops up a new Google Chrome tab, he types Facebook on the search bar and immediately tries to find this famous Steve.

After opening who knows how many tabs of all the Steves that the search suggested, he’s starting to give up, he hasn’t found him and he’s feeling desperate, he goes to Natasha’s timeline but she has her friends set on private and she doesn’t have any pictures with him. Bucky tries something else and searches for Sam; luckily, the guy he is looking for is the first that pops up and clicks on his photo way too fast.

Sam and Bucky had a few friends in common, the brunet thinks for a second about adding him but he ends up not doing it, he clicks on his photos and thankfully they’re not private. Bucky feels his stomach turn in excitement when he sees that Steve’s on a few pictures with him, and also some other blond guy that was with them at the diner.

He feels the need to slam his computer shut when he notices that this Steve guy is not tagged in any of the photos, these guys seem like good friends and that’s why Bucky thinks it’s weird he’s not tagged, also there aren’t any comments from a Steve, not even timeline posts or anything, he even searched through all the immense list of Sam Wilson’s friends and nothing. Bucky huffs at his lame results for a search and can’t help but think that Steve is way more mysterious than what he anticipated, or that maybe he doesn’t have a Facebook which would make him even weirder.

He waits for Natasha to come out of the shower but he feels his eyelids heavy and his bed is way too soft under him, the blankets warm inviting him to get inside. Bucky ends up falling asleep way too soon, yet another night without knowing whom the man he’s been dreaming about is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to contact us if you have any suggestions or questions, maybe we can give you a few peeks into what's coming!
> 
> You can messages us here or find us on Tumblr.
> 
> ElectricJo: http://electricjemi.tumblr.com/  
> bitter_eyes: http://mywaywarddaughter.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it once a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

Steve is really early for the show at SHIELD on Friday, which is certainly miraculous since normally his appointments tend to extend on that specific day of the week. He plans to stage dive tonight and dance in the mosh-pit a bit so he’s wearing a loose shirt under his jacket and a pair of old jeans, Sam and Clint are at the entrance leaning on the wall when he arrives at the place. Sam’s wearing a grey sweatshirt, khaki jeans and vans tennis shoes, while Clint is wearing a black shirt and a pair of basketball purple shorts, after saying hi the three of them walk in together.

SHIELD is packed as usually is on the weekends, Steve goes up to the bar to greet Sharon, the bartender, he gives her a kiss on the cheek saying hello to her; he walks behind Phil and gives him a tight hug in salute.

“How’s it curing? Have you been moisturizing it?”, Steve asks.

“Yes, I have, you want to see it?” He nods lifting up the back of his shirt.

“It looks nice, still a bit swollen but as long as you keep moisturizing it this week it’ll go down”, Steve answers glancing up and down the older man’s back.

“Do you think…” Phil says turning around and letting his shirt down, “that I could take the shirt off later today?” he asks blushing a bit.

“Yeah, sure, it’s already been a few days, just take a shower immediately after the show and moisturize again”, Steve instructs.

“Yes, ok”, Phil smiles shyly.

“Rogers!” Steve turns around and notices Rumlow waving at him, he says goodbye to Phil and walks towards the other man, “just saw Coulson’s tattoo, nice work, man”, the guy comments, “I actually wanted to ask you about something I want to get done”, he informs.

“You know what?” Steve reaches for his wallet on the back pocket of his jeans, “here, have my business card and give me a call at the store and we’ll figure it out”, Steve hands him the piece of paper, trying to sound not so evasive.

_I’m not working right now!_

“Hmm, but can’t you just tell me like… if you can do it?” Rumlow insists.

“I really would need to sketch it out and I can barely see you in this light”, Steve shrugs.

_Give me a break, pleaseee._

“Yeah, alright”, the man says and walks away with a deep scowl on his face.

Steve tries to find where Sam and Clint headed off to and just ends up getting mobbed by other people, a few of them shaking his hand or waving at him, he notices Dum Dum and he walks up to him.

“Dum Dum! How you doing?” he asks to the man in the bowler hat and mean looking moustache.

“Hey, Steve, great work on Phil’s back, he’s been showing it off all week”, the redhead lifts his bottle of beer to cheer.

“Yeah, he’s really proud of that”, Steve chuckles.

“Dude, thanks for coming early to the show last week”, Dum Dum says with a wide smile.

“Oh, right! You’re drumming for the Howling Commandos”, Steve comments.

“Yeah, was it the first time seeing us play?” the man wonders.

“Yes, about that…” Steve says right before someone starts yelling at Dum Dum interrupting him.

_What’s the name of the sex god, just tell me!_

“Sorry, Steve, I’ll see you later”, Dum Dum pats his shoulder and walks away

“Ah, sure…” he tries not to sound disappointed.

When he finally spots Sam and Clint in a corner near the stage, he walks towards them saying hi to a some other people on his way there way, he feels guilty because he doesn’t know the names of all of them but they seem to know him, but after all a polite hello doesn’t hurt anybody.

***

Bucky wonders why he let Natasha drag him to a show at SHIELD, he likes Bane all right, but he’s not so fond of the whole hardcore music scene, or maybe it has to do more with the people that attend these type of shows. Specially Brock Rumlow _and his goons_ , he tries his hardest to ignore them when they arrive, but the older man deliberately walks towards him and grabs his left arm.

“Hey, you’ve been avoiding me”, he whispers between his teeth as he starts squeezing Bucky’s left shoulder.

“Yeah, I have and you’re hurting me”, he says, “don’t do that”, Bucky tries to slap Rumlow’s hand away.

_Don’t fucking touch me._

“I thought we had left our problems behind us, we could still have something nice, you know?” He lets go of Bucky’s arm and gives him a light slap on the side of his face; Bucky immediately shifts to the side.

“I did leave my problems behind me, I have something nice, I don’t know about you”, Bucky shrugs and tries to move past the other man but he takes a hold of Bucky’s wrist, “excuse me”, he demands pushing Rumlow’s arm away from him and walking towards Natasha.

_What a creep._

“Wait, Bucky…” Brock insists.

“What do you want?” Bucky asks annoyed. _Go away loser!_

“You already know the answer”, Rumlow says with an devilish smile on his face.

“No, I don’t”, Bucky shakes his head.

The other guy leans forward and Bucky can feel Brock’s hot breath against his neck, the heat eradiating from his body makes Bucky want to run away from him but he can’t, the man’s grip around Bucky’s hand is way too tight.

“You belong to me, stop kidding yourself”, Brock whispers and Bucky feels frozen in place, his feet are not moving and his brain and mouth aren’t cooperating either.

“Get over him, Brock”, Natasha interrupts grabbing a hold of Bucky’s right forearm and dragging him away, Brock winks at Bucky before he let him go but he doesn’t bother to follow them.

“I was in control of the situation”, Bucky murmurs to Natasha, she looks at him sternly, “I know you did, if you want to get out of here we can go” she offers.

“No, I’m fine”, the brunet assures with a nod, “I’m not going to let that little episode ruin my day”, he shakes his head in determination, “I’m going to get a beer, want something?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah, get me one too”, she smiles.

He moves towards the bar and when he’s there he can’t help but notice Steve saying hello to one of the bartenders, it’s impossible not to see the guy when he’s smiling so big and bright, looking happy and peaceful, Bucky wishes he could look like that. Even though he has been dying to know the guy, Bucky turns his back to avoid him; he really doesn’t need to talk to any of Brock’s friends today.

***

SHIELD has a long bar running through it’s right side and the stage room is at the end, it’s not so big but it’s perfect for the type of events they host. The first band is still setting up but the bar is already packed, which makes him think that the show is going to be awesome.

He walks up to his friends, Clint is wrapping some tape around his head and Steve frowns in question, “what are you doing?” Sam asks between smirks, reading Steve’s thoughts. 

“This show is going to be brutal and I don’t want to loose my hearing aids again”, Clint answers, Sam burst out laughing right away.

Steve fishes inside the pocket of his jacket when he remembers he has something that might help his friend, “here, Clint, I think this will be a lot less painful than tape”, Steve chuckles handing him the sweatband.

“Oh my God!” Clint exclaims, “Steve, you’re an angel, why didn’t I think of this?” he says as he starts trying to take off the tape he already put on his ears.

Clint crouches down to put the rest of the tape back in his backpack, he opens the zipper and some arrowheads and other weird shooting artifacts fall to the floor, he struggles to put everything back and Sam’s starts giggling.

“Why do you have all that stuff with you?” Sam asks.

“I was at the shooting range before coming here”, Clint shrugs.

“Shooting range?” Natasha asks standing next to where Clint is crouching down; Steve almost jumps in surprise at her silent movements.

She looks down at Clint and the man stares back at her as he starts standing up, not loosing eye contact. The other thing that Steve noticed is that she is not alone, her good looking friend is right next to her looking like he doesn’t want to be there and Steve wonders what made him so upset. But that’s not all, there’s something else that’s bothering Steve, from this distance, Bucky seems extremely familiar, but that can’t be.

“Yeah, shooting range”, he nods once, “Hi, I’m Clint,” he offers his hand to the beautiful redhead in front of him.

“I know”, he says, “I’m Natasha”, she adds with a smirk on her face.

“I’m, Steve”, Steve interrupts trying to introduce himself to Natasha’s friend.

“Oh, yes”, she hums, “this is James”, Natasha answers him without looking away from Clint.

“Bucky”, the brunet corrects her.

_Bucky, Bucky? What kind of name is that?_

“Hi!” Sam shouts, “hello, this is Sam”, Sam says pointing with his hands at his chest and Steve giggles.

“Hi, Sam”, Bucky says finally.

Steve can’t help but notice that the guy is completely ignoring him, trying to look away when Steve talks, Steve has to be honest and admit he’s slightly disappointed.

***

Natasha dragged him over here where there are more people he was trying to avoid and now she is ignoring him. Bucky tries really hard to act like Steve is not even there but it’s hard, not because he’s _so fucking hot_ but also he seems really nice. 

As soon as the first band starts playing, Sam, Steve and Clint leave to go dance, they look enthusiastic and content and they make Bucky feel a bit jealous that he can’t enjoy the moment like they can.

After a few songs, Steve comes back and stands on Bucky’s side, he leans into Bucky’s personal space but for some reason, the brunet doesn’t make an effort to move, “you enjoying the show?” Steve asks.

“Yeah”, he answers trying to sound indifferent.

_This man looks like the sun, how?_

“You don’t like dancing?” the blonde questions with a smile on his face.

“Sometimes, also my shoulder brace gets in the way”, he shrugs casually.

“Oh”, Steve says plainly, looking back at the stage.

_Is he blushing?_

The smell emanating from Steve is strong but it’s not disgusting at all, he smells like musk and soap and Old Spice, _he’s not trying to figure out what Steve smells like, really._

Steve keeps trying to make conversation with him but he Bucky knows he needs to stay as far away as possible from Brock’s friends, he’s aware of his tactics and he probably boasted to his friends about them, Steve probably thinks he can get some easy ass with him, he really has to ignore how good he smells.

_I could make an exception for this man, he’s beautiful, and those rosy cheeks._

_C’mon, get it together, Bucky!_

***

Steve leans into Bucky, he wants to ask him things but he really doesn’t know what, maybe a hardcore show isn’t the best place to establish a conversation. He stares at him for a moment and notices Bucky flares his nostrils, he probably smells bad, he shifts back a bit and then decides maybe he should just go on and keep dancing to avoid this embarrassing situation.

_Can I be more awkward? I’m so lame._

He ends up going to the front of the stage, Bane is one of the bands that Steve enjoys the most, they have been playing for ages and they give out a positive massage that helped him go through a lot of things in the past. Steve can’t help but jump and shout around the room along with the other people that are also enjoying the show.

In that moment, he feels happy, he has his friends, he’s healthier than ever, his dream job, he has it all, or maybe not all but it’s definitely more than enough and he’s grateful for every single thing. There are a lot of people out there that support him and know how hard he works to accomplish what he wants, but after all, one can’t please everyone, and maybe Bucky is one of those people, Steve wishes he could see that he means no harm.

Sadly, the show is coming to an end but it’s for sure one for the books in Steve’s opinion, most of the people were talking about how great the bands had played and the awesome time they had. Steve, Clint and Sam walk back towards Natasha and Bucky, they were talking about something but they remain quiet as soon as they arrive, Steve is sweating so much he really needs to stay away from Bucky; he knows he probably smells horribly, he lifts up the front of his shirt to whip the sweat from his face.

***

Bucky tries to ignore the fact that Steve is superbly ripped, he has toned muscles everywhere and his skin is tainted red from the rush of blood on his pale skin. He tries to avoid looking at the hem of his boxers and fails, _are those SAXX? Seriously? Either he’s really pretentious or…. No, no, he has to be really pretentious,_ he looks up his body _and god damn it, how is he even real?_

He bites his lower lip and accidentally makes eye contact with Steve; he abruptly looks away and nudges on Natasha’s arm, she is talking amiably with Clint and she brushes him off.

Steve walks up next to Bucky with a blush creeping up his neck, “did you like the rest of the show?” he asks.

_Is he seriously blushing? It must be the exercise._

“Well, as I told you before, yeah, it was pretty cool” Bucky answers.

_Is he trying to be adorable or what?_

“I really enjoyed your show a few weeks ago, you guys are really good”, Steve confesses with a smile on his face.

_Oh god, stop, I want to hate you._

“Thanks, we try”, Bucky shrugs.

Sam walks next to them with a couple of shirts he just bought at the band merchandise table, “Oh man, I wanted to go get something to eat after the show but I just spent everything on this stuff”, he sighs.

“I’ll pay, you guys want to come too?” Steve asks looking at Bucky but he means to invite Natasha too, not only him.

“No, thanks, we’re staying for drinks here”, Bucky nods his head towards the bar.

“I see, well, some other time then”, Steve mumbles before he waves goodbye at them.

“Yeah, sure”, Bucky says plainly.

When Clint, Sam and Steve leave, they walk towards the bar and Natasha sits next to him as they wait for the bartender, “what did you think about Steve? Still meh?” she winks at him.

“Absolutely, still meh”, he nods not looking at her.

_Are you kidding? He’s such a dork._

_I like him, a lot._

_Shit!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it once a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

It’s 2 p. m. and Bucky is waking up with a huge hangover and he’s also super hungry, _how can someone be having nausea and hunger at the same time?_ He doesn't understand but here he is and he needs to get food, _ASAP_. He puts on some clothes and a pair of sunglasses and rides his bike slowly towards the diner two blocks away; he sits down on his favorite booth and orders a late breakfast.

***

Steve is walking back home from dropping some stuff at the dry cleaners when he spots Bucky sitting on a booth inside the diner across the street; Steve decides to take a chance on Bucky. _What could go wrong?_ Besides, he feels hungry, and if things got awkward Steve could just grab his food and go.  He swallows stepping into the diner, making a beeline for Bucky 

“Hey, how you doing?” Steve greets him with a smile.

_Is that his bedhead? He’s so cute._

***

Bucky didn’t notice someone approaching him, not until Steve says something; he looks up as he was adding hot sauce to his fried eggs, “Hey, uh…Steve, right?” he asks.

_Smooth, Bucky, really smooth._

“Yes”, he nods, “mind if I sit down?”, Steve asks shyly.

“Help yourself”, he says not looking away from his plate of food.

_I know where I want to sit down._

The waitress approaches and takes Steve’s order; he leans back into the seat comfortably, “are you having breakfast food?” Steve wonders lifting an eyebrow in question.

“Do you mind?” he asks trying not to sound pissed, finally looking up to meet Steve’s eyes.

_Huge mistake, can his eyes be any blue-er?_

“No, not at all”, he shakes his head, “just… it’s like 2 in the afternoon”, Steve chuckles.

“I just woke up and I have a hangover so… breakfast food”, he says smiling with food on his mouth.

“You know, if it’s that bad you shouldn’t drink so much”, Steve comments.

“You straight edge kids always want to preach about this, don’t you?” Bucky huffs, that wasn’t exactly a question.

“I’m not….” The blond shakes his head, “I’m just saying maybe you should pace yourself, have some water while you're drinking”, Steve offers.

“Hmmm”, he hums curiously.

“And how did you know I’m straight edge?” Steve wonders.

“Natasha told me”, Bucky answers fast.

_That was close._

“Oh, I see”, Steve says smiling a bit.

***

Bucky gives him a mean look, after that, maybe he shouldn’t flatter himself into believing Bucky might have asked Natasha about him. Thankfully, he hasn’t ask anything about Bucky, because he’s sure that if he did, Natasha would’ve already told Bucky, they seem pretty close, but Steve knows better than to pry in other people’s business.

His food arrives a few minutes later but it wasn’t the same waitress that the one who placed down his order, she’s a blonde petite girl with big brown eyes and a wide smile; she places Steve’s plates on top of the table slowly and stays behind for a bit.

“Is that the right order?” she questions with a smirk.

Steve hums and looks down at his plate, he had ordered a burger, fries and a milkshake, “yup, everything’s here”, he nods.

“Perfect!” she cheers, “can I get you anything else?” the girl asks.

“No, thanks”, Steve shakes his head and looks up at Bucky, the brunet was staring between the two of them with a bored expression on his face, “do you want something else?” he asks Bucky.

“Noup”, he answers plainly before he resumes eating.

“That’ll be all, thanks”, Steve smiles at the girl.

“You haven’t been here before, right? The girl tilts her head to the side, “I’m sure, I would’ve definitely remembered you”, she comments.

“Uumm, that’s right”, Steve hums awkwardly, he looks at his plate of food and then at the girl, he’s not sure where all this conversation is coming from and he doesn’t want to hurry the girl who’s doing nothing but her job, but the food looks delicious and also he wants to talk to Bucky, “this is my first time here”, he adds.

“Well, I hope it’s not the last”, she places a hand on Steve’s shoulder, he feels awkward at the sudden contact and looks to her hand and up to his face, “my name’s Bonnie, call me if you need anything”, the girl winks before she walks away

“Good service, huh?” Bucky asks with a bitter tone.

“Yeah”, he says and finally dives into his food.

Steve sighs and continues to eat in silence, he’s sure that Bucky is staring at him, probably because he’s humming too much but he can’t help it, the food is way too good, and he might take the girl suggestions and come here more often, perhaps he’ll see Bucky again.

***

Bucky is pretty sure Steve is taunting him, he keeps making the most obscene noises while he’s eating, _who the hell eats like that, he has to stop_ , “how come you eat so much?” he asks.

“I have a fast metabolism and I work out”, Steve smiles, _no shit._ “so, what’s your plan for the day?” he asks Bucky.

He knows better than to actually tell him, he’s not going to be an easy target to Brock’s buddies, “you first”, Bucky says defensively.

“I was going to take my dog to central park”, he comments before he sips on his milkshake.

“You have a dog?” Bucky asks surprised.

_Bucky, you’re pathetic. Can you sound any more eager? Jeez._

“Yeah, he’s a golden retriever, his name’s Captain”, Steve answers continuing munching on his food.

“Hmm”, Bucky hums, _this guy can’t be for real_ , Bucky knows he’s hiding something under his sleeve, and he shouldn’t trust him.

_I need to get out of here._

“What about you?” the blonde asked looking up from his plate.

“I’m… I’m going to go get drunk again”, he smiles sarcastically as he stands up leaving 10 dollars for the bill, “see you later Steve”, he waves back over his shoulder.

_I’m such a coward._

***

“What…” Steve stands up looking at Bucky leaving the restaurant.

Steve is confused to say the least, he’s not sure if Bucky found out something about him he didn’t like or if he’s just generally annoyed by Steve’s presence, if that’s the case he can’t do anything about it, perhaps Steve had a piece of food stuck to his teeth or Bucky has a hard time meeting new people, there could be a million and one reason why he behaved so hostile towards Steve, he just wishes he knew what it was.

He decides to sit back alone to finish the rest of his food and pay the bill, he walks straight home to go get Captain and take him out on his promised walk, at least he has something entertaining to do to clear his mind and he won’t be alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it once a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

It’s already Wednesday and Steve is deciding if he should make Natasha spill the beans on Bucky or not, he walks into the training area and starts engaging with her, “so, I saw Bucky on Saturday”, he says .

_Keep it cool Rogers._

“Why didn’t you tell me on Monday, we had a session”, she demands.

“I don't know, I guess I was still kind of struck about what happened”, the blond shrugs.

“What happened?” she asks with a hint of surprise on her tone.

“Well, he was having breakfast at two in the afternoon”, Steve giggles.

“Oh, so he had a hangover”, she confirms with a smirk.

“Yeah”, Steve nods.

_He looked so cute though._

“I remember when I left in the morning he was still sleeping”, she comments.

“When you left in the morning? You guys are a thing?” he asks in surprise.

_Crap, seriously, did he really read this completely wrong?_

“No, he’s my roommate”, she rolls her eyes sounding like it was an obvious thing.

“Your roommate? Since when?” he wonders, letting his guard down and getting hit right in the stomach.

“Since ever? He’s a main investor here actually”, she says coolly, cleaning the sweat on her forehead with her sleeve.

“Why didn’t I know about it?” Steve frowns.

“Well, you never asked”, Natasha answers.

  _I don’t even know my friends, what the hell?_

“Did you say anything to upset him? He was cranky the whole day”, Natasha asks as she puts Steve in a headlock.

“Aghh!! No, no, I didn’t!” Steve stands up lifting Natasha from the floor trying to get her off of him. Forcing some air back into his lungs, he kneels again and flips her off to the ground, “No, I told him about my dog and then he stormed out”, Steve sighs sadly.

“I see”, she hums thoughtfully.

Standing back up again he walks backwards, trying to compose himself, “I think I had enough training today, I’m just going to punch that thing”, he comments pointing at one of the punching bags hanging from the ceiling.

***

Bucky is still working at Stark Tower by seven p.m. and he is positive he might run a bit late to band practice; he needs to text Dum Dum to let him.

 **Bucky:** Hey, dude, I’m running late but I’ll be there.

 **Dum Dum:** No probs, man, we’ll be here.

The brunet pockets back his phone and glances up to notice that Tony seems equally bored as Bucky, as soon as the meeting it’s over and the room gets clear, the shorter man stands up.

“Oh man, let’s get out of here, I’m starving”, Tony yawns.

As the guy stretches his arms over his head, Bucky notices a tattoo on the side of Tony’s torso, right under his ribs, “I didn’t know you had a tattoo there”, he says pointing at it.

“Oh, you haven’t seen it!” he says lifting up his dress shirt a bit, the tattoo is amazing, it’s a composition of screws, bolts and gears, they’re realistic looking and even though the tattoo isn’t completely healed yet, the colors look perfect.

“Damn, I bet it hurt like a bitch”, Bucky chuckles.

“You have no idea”, Tony giggles, “I had it done at the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop by Thor”, he explains, “but there’s this other guy that works there, really talented, I want to get my back piece done by him but he’s booked for months so I’ll probably have to wait”, Tony says.

“Well, I bet it’ll be worth it”, Bucky nods.

“Absolutely”, Tony cheers.

***

After training, Steve takes a shower at the gym; he doesn’t want to go home all sticky and sweaty. As he arrives home, he grabs some snacks before he decides what movie to put on, Captain was amused when Steve arrived but as soon as he sits down on the couch, the dog lays down on his own bed and dozes off.

Steve was not paying attention to the movie; he found himself grabbing his sketchbook and just doodling out stuff in his head. A pair of eyes, pink lips and a piercing, nice brown hair, _is this Bucky?_

He gives into it, he tries to remember the brunet’s body the first day he saw him, his hips moving to the rhythm of the beat, his sweat, his piercings, that tattoo on his arm, that string of hair that kept falling on his face, _I want to put it away so badly_ , the glint of his micro-dermals in the spotlight, his piercing blue eyes looking at him, his low riding jeans. _Shit, those hips._ Steve finds himself biting down his bottom lip, and suddenly his jeans are beginning to feel too tight.

***

Bucky walks into the Howling Commandos already practicing at Dum Dum’s, without him, “well, so much for waiting for me, you guys”, he says as he takes off his bag.

“You texted me you were not going to be so late, we figured there was no harm in starting” Dum Dum explains.

“Fine, fine”, Bucky waves at him before he grabs his guitar to start their practice session.

About an hour later, they’re sitting around Dum Dum’s kitchen table with a few pizza boxes and some bottles of beer, “Guys, did you see Phil Coulson’s back piece? I’m pretty sure he took off his shirt just to show it off”, Gabe says while grabbing a slice of pizza.

“Yeah, I got to see it from afar, pretty good job, whoever did it”, Bucky comments biting down on a slice. _This pizza is so good!_

“Oh, Roger’s did it, I saw him talking to Coulson about it”, Dum Dum takes a sip of his beer.

“Rogers?” Bucky asks lifting an eyebrow at him.

“Yes, Rogers! You know him, tall guy, blond hair, hardcore kid? Really nice guy”, Monty explains.

“I have no idea who you’re talking about”, Bucky hums as he swallows the mouthful of food.

“C’mon Bucky, you were with the guy the whole night”, Dum Dum nods.

“Who the fuck are you guys talking about?” Bucky asks desperately.

_I’m starting to get annoyed about this Rogers guy._

“You know, Bucky, he’s a really good-looking fella’, he has his arms covered in tattoos” Monty replied pointing the pizza slice at Bucky.

“Who is this Rogers guy?” Bucky wonders putting down his pizza slice. 

_What is the fuzz about him anyway?_

“Steve Rogers, c’mon, Bucky, you know him!” Gabe insists with a frustrated tone in his voice.

“STEVE?!” Bucky yells, finally putting two and two together.

_Steve. My Steve. Really?_

***

Steve walks up to his room, he sits down at the edge of the bed and runs a hand over his face, he figures that the only way of taking care of his boner is tending to it.

He takes a couple of deep breaths to let his imagination run towards a certain brunet that has been stealing Steve’s dreams lately. Bucky’s rosy lips, his sly smile, his hips, the sweat dripping down his chest, that strong gaze searching Steve’s body _._ Steve stands back up to take off his jeans along with his boxers in one quick motion, he wraps his hand around his half-hard dick and sits back down on the bed, he begins to stroke himself slowly as he fights to push his jeans out of the way.

Boxers and socks completely down to his feet, he lays down on the bed, his legs still folder over the edge, he tilts his head back while he strokes himself a bit faster, he imagines Bucky’s hands trailing his body, looking up at him under those thick and long eyelashes. He lifts up his shirt with his free hand up to his chest; he starts rubbing his chest and lower belly slowly.

He sits back down again to get more comfortable with his movements, he rests his weight with one hand stretched back and he leans back a bit, his right hand still working fast strokes on his cock, he curls his toes against the floor as he imagines Bucky kneeling in front of him, his hands pulling at Steve’s dick instead of his.

The blond moves his hand quick and steady, twisting his wrist when he reaches the head and slowing down only to run his thumb over the slit already licking pre-cum into his finders.

***

“Yes! He attended show last week”, Monty nods.

“Sam and Clint’s Steve?” Bucky asked, _just to be sure._

“Yeah, that Steve!” Gabe adds.

“You guys know Steve?” Bucky questions with his eyes wide open in surprise.

_Have I been living under a rock?_

“Everyone knows Steve, man, he’s been in the scene for ages and he’s a great tattoo artist”, Dum Dum assures him before he takes a big sip of his drink.

“WHAT?!” He asks unable to mask his confusion.

_This must be a joke._

“Why are you so surprised? You know he trains at the Red Room too, right?” Monty comments as a matter of fact.

“What? I saw him for the first time at the show last week”, he sakes his head”, “Heck, Natasha introduced us yesterday!” Bucky answers upset.

_I can’t with this._

“What the hell, Bucky, aren’t you gay? Like, he’s right up there on the good looking ranks, what’s happening?” Gabe says nudging at Bucky’s good shoulder, “you going blind?” the man laughs.

“You are being so rude right now”, Bucky huffs not being angry, just annoyed.

“I thought you could notice every single hot guy in a room”, Dum Dum chuckles between bites.

“Stop!” Bucky demands holding a hand up, passing the other one through his hair.

_I’m going to kill Natasha!_

***

Steve doesn’t want to keep imaging Bucky this way, he doesn’t even know the guy and let’s not forget that he’s Natasha’s friend, but as much as he tries, it’s impossible, Bucky had looked at him so sternly that it made Steve weak in the knees.

Steve decides to take his shirt of, lifting it over his head quickly to return his hand to his aching cock; his chest is growing in and out fast as he continues to stroke himself. He tilts his head backward and lets his mouth hang open, drawing out shaky breaths and low moans into the silent room, he licks his lips a couple of times to moisturize them and continues to pull his own dick.

He exhales a couple of times between his teeth; he frowns looking down at his hand working on his cock and tries to do it as fast as he can to get over with it, there’s only one way to end this, he imagines Bucky again. He wants the brunet on top of him, his weight pushing him down against the mattress, his sweaty chest rubbing against Steve’s as he takes him in, Bucky’s mouth kissing and licking his neck and chest while the blonde’s hands run up and down his back.

Feeling himself close, he moves his hips back and forth, at this time the pace of his hand becomes a bit unsteady, fighting the jolt of electricity that runs from his brain down to his cock, his breath hitches inside his throat as soon as his orgasm hits through his body.

He tilts his head back again, the fingers of his free hand fisted on the covers, his lower belly feels tight all of a sudden shooting his white seed into his hand and abdomen, Steve grunts before a deep and silent moan escapes his mouth while he closes his eyes tightly.

Steve lifts himself of the bed and tries to blink away the soft spots from his vision before he ducks to pick up his forgotten clothes from the ground, he sighs sadly and tries to shake away his dirty thoughts, Bucky in the back of his mind moaning and pleading at Steve, he feels his cheeks blush and he’s sure he must look ridiculous right now, he shrugs walking to the bathroom and doesn’t bother with the door, he’s alone in his house after all.

_Another shower, seriously Rogers?_

***

Bucky wraps up with the guys soon after their conversation, he can’t believe Natasha has been hiding Steve this long; then again, him being friends with Brock, it made sense, Bucky tries not to feel sad about it.

He really never paid any attention to any of Brock’s friends when they were fooling around, whatever they had going on never circled around other people, but for a second there Bucky wishes he had seen Steve first rather than Brock.

_They even say he’s such a talented artist, goddamn it. I don’t get it, how could I have been ignoring this guy’s existence this long?_

The brunet huffs at his own decisions in life and continues to move his feet quickly, the cold air of the night hitting his face as he speeds on his fixie, hurrying to get home. He should question Natasha about the situation, but she had said in the past that she wasn’t going to give him any advice when it came to men since Bucky always ended up ignoring her.

_She’s always right, I’m such a mess._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're sorry that the past few chapters were a bit short and vague, we promise you that we'll get into details in future chapters, all in good time.
> 
> And again, thanks for the support :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it once a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

It’s been more than two weeks since Steve last saw Bucky, he’s been going through what happened that day at least once a day, but he has kept himself busy with work, just going on with his life, he tries to let it go. Unfortunately, he figures that maybe this crush won’t go anywhere.

_This is no good._

Sam asks him early Saturday morning if he wants to go to the movies to see 22 Jump Street; he agrees and goes straight to the cinema after work. When he arrives there, he notices Sam is by himself leaning against a wall near the entrance.

“Where’s Clint?” he asks.

“He said he was busy, that he had some business to tend to”, Sam shrugs a shoulder.

“You guys own a business together, what is he talking about?” Steve lifts his eyebrows in surprise.

“Beats me, he probably had a date or something”, the other comments.

“Yeah, he’s so reserved about that…” Steve says sarcastically as he chuckles.

“He doesn’t want to get teased about it, that’s all”, Sam explains.

They head inside, buy their tickets and go inside along with a big bucket of popcorn each, Steve chooses an Icee and Sam a soda. The movie turns out to be hilarious, Steve laughed so hard that he almost fell from his chair, they keep laughing at certain details they keep mentioning as they walk outside, Steve still holding his Icee cup.

“Rogers”, a voice says behind him.

“Hey, Rumlow”, he turns around to see Brock and Jack, “you guys came to the movies?” the blond wonders.

“Yeah, Jack had some free tickets”, Brock comments, “you got a chance to see the illustration I sent you?” he asks.

“Yes, I did, I sent an email back with a proposal so we can make an appointment if you’re interested”, Steve offers.

“Oh really? I haven’t seen it”, Brock frowns.

“Check your spam filter, my mail sometimes sends emails with attachments to the spam folder” Steve suggests.

“I guess I’ll do that. You’ll cut me a deal right?” Brock nudges Steve with his elbow.

“Yeah, sure man, whatever…” he says reluctantly.

“Atta boy” Brock pats Steve in the shoulder.

_Does this asshole thinks I’m a fucking dog or something?_

“Well, we’re going to get something to eat at the café, you guys want to come?” Steve asks kindly pointing with his thumb back over his shoulder.

_Why can I just shut my mouth, seriously?_

“Nah, too many hipsters at that place”, he shakes his head, “we’ll see you guys later”, Brock walks away from them, Jack following him like a shadow.

“Oh, thank god”, Sam huffs when Brock is not so out of hearing range, walking towards the café, “really Steve, you don’t have to be so nice to that guy”, his friend insist.

“C’mon Sam, he’s a possible client”, Steve sighs.

“Yeah, a cheapskate client” Sam waves a hand at the direction that Brock and Jack trailed off.

“That’s not all, you should see his emails, he’s incredibly condescending”, Steve mutters between his teeth.

“That other day, the way he spoke to the waitress, what a douchebag”, Sam comments as he’s opening the door to the café.

***

Bucky is completely alone in the apartment for an hour, _boring to death_ ; he decides that he can’t live like this and grabs his bike and heads out for a cup of coffee at the café near the cinema, where he usually goes when he needs a caffeine fix.

The way there is not too long and thankfully the air feels cool against his skin, his beanie keeping his ears warm. He moves fast with both hands tight around the handles, his feet planted on the pedals and the wheels circling against the pavement.

As he’s riding down the street he notices Sam, Steve, Jack and Brock together outside the theater, Brock is nudging Steve’s arm and the blond just nods while Sam just stares and Jack stands there stiff as a board, like usual.

_Really, they all went to the movies?_

“Uggghh!” Bucky huffs more to himself than to anyone.

He rides by stopping right in front of the café, leaving his fixie tied upfront; he orders his coffee and walks to a table near the back, he’s looking at the leaf drawn on the coffee when he hears a familiar voice entering the café, as he looks up he looks at Steve straight in the eyes.

_Seriously?_

***

Sam and Steve notice Bucky is sitting almost at the end of the café, Sam waves at him to come sit with them up front, where there’s more space and not a single person sitting, Steve doesn’t miss the way Bucky frowns but ends up standing anyway.

“Hey, guys”, he greets as he sits down next to Steve.

This takes Steve a bit by surprise but he figures Bucky wants to have a clear view of the door; Steve tries not to get excited about it and takes a deep breath as his hands curl around the mug in front of him.

“How you doing, Bucky?” Sam asks.

“Fine, fine, what about you guys, what have you been up to?” he nods taking a sip of his coffee. Steve is trying very hard not to stare at him. _And failing._

“We just went to see a movie”, Sam interjects. Steve is staring at Bucky’s lips curving on the side of the cup. _I never wanted to be a cup before._

“Oh, yeah? Wich one?” he wonders, Bucky’s hands grabbing the handle carefully.

“22 Jump Street, very funny, you definitely have to see it with a friend”, Sam continues.

Bucky’s tongue drifting out to lick the foam that sticks to his upper lip, he looks at the lip piercing on his lower lip and the two micro-dermals on his face shining bright against his skin.

_This is torture, somebody help me!_

Bucky looks at him all of a sudden, he realizes he has been staring, Bucky frowns at him before he looks away and Steve realizes in that instant that Bucky really dislikes him. He decides he needs to distract himself with something so he takes out his sketchbook.

_Great, now he thinks I’m a creep._

***

Steve staring at him is unnerving, Bucky doesn’t know why he did it but he couldn’t help to frowning at him, it doesn’t exactly bother him, it’s just weird the way his cheeks blushed.

_Why does he have to blush so cutely? I really need to dislike this guy._

He looks away from Steve to look up to the door; he sees Natasha and Clint walking in through the door laughing loudly, like they had been friends for ages or something, Bucky thinks it’s odd to see her like that but she actually seems happy.

“Natalia!” he yells at her.

Both of them turn their necks to them with a surprised look in their faces, they start walking towards their table a few feet apart from each other, “scoot over” Natasha tells Bucky as he drags himself along with the chair to makes space for her at the table.

Bucky ends up sitting way too close to Steve and he tries to ignore the man’s leg pressing against his, their elbows almost touching. _And shit, he’s so warm._

“Natasha, were you two holding hands?” he whispers low leaning into her.

“Shut up”, she answers between her teeth.

“Holly shit, you were totally holding hands” Bucky holds back a little chuckle.

“You’re a dead man, James”, she replies back.

***

Steve is doodling on his sketchbook the half empty cup in front of him; the coffee has gone cold now and the bitterness of it no longer agreeing with Steve’s tongue, the moment has gone sour since Bucky frowned at him and Steve can’t help but to feel unwanted.

“I thought you had some business to tend to Clint”, Sam teases wiggling his eyebrows at his friend.

“I’m tending to some business just, later”, Clint replies and Natasha can’t hold back a laugh.

Steve gulps at the proximity he’s to Bucky, the angle produces a lustrous image of his long lashes fanning at the top of his cheeks, his pink lips blowing at his coffee, his hands gently holding the cup close to his face. Steve tries to ignore him, he leans into his sketchbook lifting his left elbow on the table and resting his chin on the heel of his hand, drawing away and getting lost in his own thoughts as he sighs deeply.

“Steve, are you ok?” Clint asks with real concern in his tone.

Steve stares up without moving his head, “yes” he answers plainly and tries to go back to his drawing.

“Are you sure?” his friend adds and Steve feels the stares of the rest of the people in that table, Bucky’s eyes digging holes on the side of his face.

“Now that you mention it, I’m just starting to get a headache, you know”, he says, it’s not completely a lie but he hopes to sound convincing, as he’s standing up he notices from the corner of his eye that Bucky’s frown is back on his face, Steve just wants to run out of there, “I better head home, I’ll talk to you guys later”, he adds with a small smile on his face and then walks away quickly, tucking his sketchbook under his arm and ducking his head as he moves out of the place.

_This is so fucking miserable._

***

“What’s going on? Is he alright?” Natasha asks Sam.

“I don’t know, he was fine a while ago”, Sam answers with a shrug.

Bucky notices the sad eyes Steve was sporting as he left the café, he’s not sure what to think about it, he didn’t even say anything since Bucky sat next to him.

_I don’t like emo Steve, at all._

Bucky just finished his cup of coffee, he really doesn’t want to keep thinking about Steve Rogers for the rest of the night, besides he needs to leave Natasha and Clint alone if he wants to keep on living, “Sam, how about we go get a drink?” he offers nodding towards Natasha in suggestion.

“Yeah, let’s go do that”, Sam smiles, completely understanding what Bucky is trying to say.

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea”, Natasha adds cheerfully.

Sam and Bucky get out of the place and ride their bikes towards SHIELD, they know it’s a bit early but the place is already open when they arrive, Bucky orders a scotch and Sam a beer.

“Sam, what’s up with Steve?” he wonders as soon as he takes his place on a stool by the bar.

_Really smooth, huh?_

“What do you mean?” Sam quirks and eyebrow at him.

“Like why is he so… you know…” Bucky tries to explain with his hands, “he’s all huge and then he acts like he’s 5 feet tall”, he says.

_I really don’t get him._

“Steve’s story is not mine to tell and really, you should get to know him man, he’s a nice guy”, Sam offers a kind smile to Bucky, “I’m not saying that just ‘cause he’s my friend”, the man shakes his head

“You sense I don’t think of him as nice guy?” Bucky asks.

“Well, anyone can see there’s some sort of tension between the two of you, I mean it’s mostly on your part, you’re kind of put off by him”, Sam explains.

_It’s that obvious?_

“But just now, he walked out of the café just like that, why did he do that?” he questions.

“Like I said, I can’t speak for Steve”, Sam insists, “maybe there’s more to him than what you let yourself see”, Sam pats Bucky’s shoulder.

After that, Bucky decides to change the subject into something that doesn’t involve Steve Rogers; it’s hard since it’s the only thing he seems to be thinking about lately. Sam has been eyeing a certain blonde bartender that keeps giggling along with Coulson, Bucky nudges Sam’s arm and encourages him to stand and go talk to her. Sam hesitates but does as Bucky suggested.

Bucky’s left alone in the bar but he doesn’t feel uncomfortable, he’s at SHIELD not at HYDRA, he swallows down who knows how many drinks and as soon as he starts feeling the buzz inside his head he decides to stop.

Luckily, he’s not too drunk to ride his bike back home, when he finally arrives at his apartment, Natasha is not there, he collapses in the couch and closes his eyes with Steve Rogers on the back of his mind.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it twice a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

“Hello there, gorgeous, I have an appointment with Mister Steve Rogers”, Natasha smirks at Darcy who is looking at the computer behind the counter.

“Very funny Nat, you’re making me blush”, the brunette giggles, “you need to stop that, I’m going to start believing it”, Darcy says with a grin on her face as she hears Loki clearing his throat in the background, she turns her head and sticks her tongue at him, he chuckles under his breath.

“It’s Thursday already?” Steve cuts in, walking into the lobby of the tattoo shop.

 “Yes it is, Rogers”, Natasha nods back.

“Well, I’m just going to need you to sign these before he starts up”, Darcy interrupts.

“Thanks, sweetie”, Natasha signs away before she winks at her, and then accompanies Steve back to his workstation.

“Ok, here’s the design, a black widow just like you asked me”, he says with a shy smile on his face lifting the piece of paper to show her.

“This is great, I really like it”, she nods once.

“So, we’re good to go?” He wonders.

“Yes”, the redhead assures him.

“It’s on your calf, right? I need you to lay down on the massage table”, he points at the table in front of them.

“Uuuh, massage”, Natasha wiggles her eyebrows at him.

“Trust me, this is far from a massage”, he says with a blush on his cheeks.

_Blushing, really, Steve?_

“This is not my first tattoo Steve…” she comments as she lifts her pants to make room for Steve.

“Oh really? You’re hiding the other ones pretty well”, Steve chuckles.

“It’s a back piece, you can check it out later”, she shrugs, “Steve, you and Bucky have a feud going on or something?” she asks as she hops on the table.

“He totally hates me”, Steve says plainly.

_He hates my guts._

“He doesn’t hate you, he just doesn't know you and really, whatever anyone might say about you, that boy needs to make his mind on his own”, she says but for some reason that doesn’t make Steve feel better, _at all_.

***

Bucky is at the shop cleaning the piercings on display when he notices Jack and Brock coming in, Jack walks up straight to his counter with the older man in tow, Bucky can’t help but feel his insides turn at the sight, he hopes they won’t make a scene and get him in trouble.

“Hey, who do I have to talk to here to get a piercing?” Jack asks plainly.

“Good afternoon, Jack”, Bucky says in a sarcastic tone, “that would be me, c’mon”, he directs Jack to a room next to the counter after he hands him the proper paperwork he needs to sign, he notices Brock following them, “can I help you?” Bucky asks trying to sound indifferent.

“I’m here for moral support”, Rumlow answers with a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, right”, Bucky huffs and continues to walk, “Sit down, Jack”, he instructs, “what are you going to get?” he asks trying to ignore Brock staring at him with a predatory look on his face.

_I am a professional, god damn it!_

“An eyebrow piercing”, Jack demands.

Bucky walks back to the shelves to put on a new pair of latex gloves and clean needles, “I need you to lay down and close your eyes”, he nods and the man does as Bucky says.

He prepares the area by cleaning it properly and making a little mark onto the man’s skin to let him know where the kindle is going to go, he grabs a pair of big tweezers with a large hole in the middle to grab a hold of Jack’s entire eyebrow and starts the procedure.

Brock is still looking at him, he can’t help blushing under his gaze, _get it together Bucky_ , he grabs a long needle and passes it swiftly through Jack’s eyebrow in one quick movement, then he attaches on a small metal ring and closes it at the other side, as he finishes he cleans the edges with a Q-tip and checks if it’s located in the right spot.

“All done, Jack…” he informs holding up a mirror to him, “be careful with it, keep it clean, don’t take it off for a couple of days or it will close off, I’ll give you the sheet with the specific directions on how to clean it properly”, he says with his back towards him.

He’s disposing of the Q-tips, needle and gloves he used, disinfecting the tweezers and putting everything away when he hears Brock clearing his throat behind him but Bucky doesn’t turn around.

“Thanks”, he hears Jack say coolly, standing up and leaving the room.

When he moves again he notices he’s alone with Brock and immediately starts to feel the anxiety rise inside of him, “I really need to talk to you”, Brock demands, like so many times before. 

_Now what?_

“Fine…” he hears himself say back in an automated voice.

_Really, this is not fine. What the hell, Bucky?_

“How about we talk on your lunch break”, Brock lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, ok”, Bucky whispers looking down at his feet.

***

“I was fourteen!” Steve chuckles loudly as he leans back to grab a clean towel, “I was so embarrassed, my mom had to come pick me up at school”, he says between laughs.

“Oh no, my most embarrassing moment to date was…” Natasha is saying but a soft knock on the door interrupts her.

“Hey, sorry”, Darcy offers a small smile, “Steve, your lunch break is coming up soon, you should start wrapping up with Natasha today”, the girl informs as she leans into the doorframe of the room.

“We’re actually done!” he cheers leaning back as he cleans Natasha’s leg.

“Oh shit, for real?” Natasha lifts up her head in surprise, “I have to see this”, she stands up and looks at her calf in front of the mirror before it gets wrapped up, “Steve, it looks great, thanks!” she smiles at him, “I’m so buying you lunch”, the redhead pats his shoulder.

“Yeah, you need to tell me about this most embarrassing moment of yours!” Steve giggles.

Some time later they walk to their usual diner close to Steve’s shop, they take a seat towards the back of the place and they fall right back into conversation, Steve feels weird, it’s not bad, just different. He likes to hang out with Nat even though they only do it at the gym or at shows.

“I realize I really don’t know much about you, Nat”, he comments over a mouthful of tuna sandwich.

“I have a sordid past”, she smirks, “I was living in Russia 3 years ago and that’s were I met Bucky, he was studying over there and he suggested I come back here with him”, she comments taking a spoonful of her tomato soup, “I’ve only recently been a US citizen, that’s why Bucky helped me out establish the Red Room”, the woman nods.

“He must be really successful at what he does”, Steve says in a cheerful tone.

_I want to know everything about him, anything!_

“Well, he works full time for Stark Industries, but they don’t need him all day, when he was in college he started as an apprentice with a piercer and now he does that as his hobby”, she continues.

“What does he do for Stark?” he asks curiously trying not to sound too eager.

“He’s an interpreter and translator, he occasionally does freelance translations for editorials as well, but he’s fast so he has some time off and gets restless”, Natasha explains with a chuckle.

***

Bucky takes his bike to the place where Brock asked him to meet, Bucky feels angry at the sight when he notices it’s the place where Brock first approached him several months ago.

When he gets inside, Brock’s already sitting at his usual table, Bucky walks towards him and tries to ignore the way the other man is looking at him up and down like Bucky is some kind of dessert.

“Fucking finally”, Brock huffs as soon as Bucky sits across from him, he just rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything. As the waitress approaches, Bucky is reluctant to order anything at all, “c’mon, you agreed to let me buy you lunch” Brock insists.

“I’ll have a turkey sandwich and a lemonade, please” Bucky smiles at her.

“Same for me”, the other man demands not even looking at the waitress, she writes down their order and takes away their menus quickly.

Brock looks down at the table, “I’ve wanted to talk to you about us for a while now”, he sighs.

“What about us?” Bucky asks. _There is no us, there never was._

“I really screwed up what we had”, Brock whispers and Bucky wonders for a second if he really means that.

“I remember you clearly stating we didn’t have anything, I asked you several times if we could have something more and you told me it wasn’t your style”, Bucky shakes his head frantically.

The man lowers his gaze and sighs again, “that’s where I did wrong”, he takes Bucky’s hand and holds it tight, “I really want to have something serious with you, something real, not like last time”, Brock tilts his head to the side staring right at Bucky’s eyes, Bucky keeps quiet for a second staring down at Brock’s thumb brushing slightly against his.

A year ago, these were the exact words he wanted to hear, this is what he wanted so badly, sitting here with Brock at this same restaurant, holding hands, talking about their day and all the things they could’ve been sharing.

“It’s Rogers, right?” Brock interrupts Bucky’s train of thought.

“What?” Bucky asks surprised.

_What about Steve?_

“He’s fucking you, isn’t he?” Brock’s voice sounds angry, more like himself, “I saw you eating at that place you like two weeks ago, you looked like you had just woken up”, the man lifts an eyebrow at him.

He looks at Brock perplexed. _This creep has been following me_. Brock opens Bucky’s hand rubs a thumb on the inside of his wrists, “he’s too good for you Bucky”, the man whispers, “you and I, we are more compatible”, he closes his fingers around Bucky’s wrist way too tight.

Bucky draws his hand backs quickly and stands up abruptly, he takes out his wallet and leaves a 10 dollar bill on the table. He feels pathetic, he should have known better, Brock’s attitude is not like a flu that’ll go away after a few days, he should’ve known better.

_How many times have I done this?_

“So, you are sleeping with him?” Brock says but it’s not exactly a question, Bucky doesn’t correct him either.

He takes a couple of steps back, not missing how the scowl on Brocks face deepens as he stares at him. Bucky feels his knees weak and his insides turn, he’s awfully glad they’re in a public place and that there are a lot of people around them, otherwise he’s almost positive that Brock would’ve jumped him right there.

“You don’t know what you’re missing out, James!” Brock points a finger at him and Bucky starts to walk away, “I’m the only one who can make you feel complete, you’re nothing without me!” he yells after him.

Bucky takes his bike and rides back to work hurriedly without looking back, if by the time he arrives his eyes are puffy and red nobody comments on it and he’s glad about it, he goes straight back to his workstations and shuts the door behind him. He slides down slowly against the cold wood and curls in a ball on the floor; he rests his forehead over his knees and tries to muffle his cries.

***

“Nat, what are your intentions with Clint?” Steve asks with a serious look on his face.

“I don’t know, we’re taking it slow, nothing official yet”, she says, shrugging her shoulders.

“Really?” he wonders.

“Is it really that surprising?” Natasha smirks.

“Yeah, I just don't want to see you guys get hurt”, Steve stares at her in the eyes.

“Don’t worry, Steve, I’ll take good care of him”, she nods, “you know, I think Bucky and you could be really good friends, the redhead smiles, “he doesn’t hate you”, she continues.

“You keep telling me that”, Steve says looking down at his hands. _I doubt it._

“You guys just need to get to know each other”, she offers.

“We both have spoiled our opportunities, I guess”, he hums, feeling like he’s 5 feet tall again.

“You both like to leave in the middle of having something to eat”, she chuckles.

“We have, that is so weird”, he nods and smiles at her comments, “I’ll try to avoid leaving the situation as awkward as it might get”, Steve says.

_I’ll try, I won’t promise anything._

They are done with their food a bit after that and Natasha pays for the bill as she said she would despite Steve’s protests, the blonde thanks her _too many times_ and she just waves at him with a characteristic smirk on her face.

“I’ll see you later, Steve”, she pats his shoulder before they start walking separate ways.

Steve still wonders what happened between Bucky and him that could have caused this tension, he has replayed all the words he has exchanged with the man and he can’t recall any offensive word or tasteful comment. Steve’s aware that he can please everybody, he just wishes that Bucky didn’t dislike him so much, that there was a way to make Bucky realize he’s not as bad as he thinks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it twice a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

It’s Friday night and Steve is super tired, there aren’t any shows he’s interested in going today and really, if there were, he would probably skip them because he had a packed day today. He’s glad he’s finally home with his dog and ready to make himself some grub and lie down on the couch to watch a movie. 

He leaves his helmet and backpack in the entrance, taking off his jacket and walking towards the kitchen, Captain follows him in tow wiggling his tail happily, “Hey buddy, you want something to eat? You want a snack?” he crouches down to pet Captain behind his ears, and then he stretches back up to reach for a little snack from a cupboard.

“Here you go, Cap”, Steve cheers offering the piece of food to his friend, “Oh man, I don’t know about you, bud, but I’m starving!” he opens the fridge to prepare something.

_Ok, lets see: ketchup, mayonnaise and… cheese. Ok, no meat. I’ll just make a grilled cheese sandwich. Where is the bread? Ok, not a grilled cheese, then… macaroni and cheese? No macaroni. How about… this onion, and this lemon?_

He closes the fridge and even contemplates Captain’s snack bag before he shakes his head giggling, “I either try eating dog food or I need to go grocery shopping”, he says to no one in particular, “you want to come with me Cap?” he asks walking towards the closet to retrieve a pair of tennis shoes and Captain’s leash but the dog keeps chewing at his snack, “Guess not”, Steve smirks down at him.

***

Bucky is barely paying attention to what Natasha is saying, he has a series of books to translate from Swedish to English, and is having a bit of trouble with some colloquial sentences but he’s finally getting the hang of it.

“Bucky, did you hear me?” Natasha asks.

“No”, he answers.

_I can’t pay attention to you when I’m so concentrated, for once!_

“I’m not going to be coming back tonight, don’t wait up for me”, she repeats.

“Ok”, he nods, again not paying much attention.

“I’ll see you tomorrow”, Natasha adds loudly.

“Yes, tomorrow”, he nods making annotations on his notebook, not averting his eyes from the script on the computer.

As Natasha shuts the door behind her, Bucky looks down at his notes, he has written down what Natasha said to him instead of the translation he was trying to make, _crap. Wait… Natasha isn’t coming back for the night? Am I all by myself? For the whole night?_ “This calls for a celebration!” he cheers closing the tabs for the document he was reviewing, taking the laptop back to his room.

_Don’t get me wrong, I love Natasha, but some alone time doesn’t hurt anyone._

He enters his bedroom and notices the mess of clean laundry piling on top of the chair in the far right corner; he should really put those clothes away but he’s not in the mood for it, _not now, not ever_. Bucky walks towards the bed and puts the computer down on the mattress, he turns around and starts taking his shirt off, being careful with his shoulder brace.

Bucky looks around for tissue paper, and then goes to the closet to retrieve the lubricant and his vibrator. Perhaps it’s stupid he keeps those things hidden since Natasha is clearly aware that he masturbates on a daily basis, and more than once a day, if I must add, but he’s not so tasteless to keep those things lying around the place, for the sake of everyone.

After he finds what he was looking for, he goes back to the bed and spreads over the mattress with nothing but boxers and his computer in hand, browsing around through the web looking for something to get off to.

***

As Steve walks towards the grocery store, he notices a bunch of guys beating up a smaller guy, _shit_ ; and as the advocate he is, he decides to go and check out what’s going on, he crosses the street towards them quickly and approaches silently. He recognizes the smaller guy as Monty, he’s not sure what’s happening but as far as he’s concerned, Monty is a good guy and a friend of his, besides, four against one is not a fair fight.

“Is there a problem here?” as soon as he cuts in, a guy tries to slam his fist against Steve’s face for no reason; he evades the hit and hits him straight in the nose, “what was that?” Steve questions when he sees the guy falling down, hitting the floor unconscious immediately, his friends grabs him and makes a run for it, “guess not”, Steve hums.

Monty is lying down loosing consciousness next to a dumpster, he is in very poor condition and Steve curses himself for not getting there earlier, he tries to wake him up a bit and slings one of his arms on his shoulder to take him to the nearest hospital.

The man tries to say something but only a muffled cry comes out, Steve places a firm hand around the shorter man’s waist to keep him up, “I’m sorry this happened to you, you’re going to be fine”, he nods as he stars walking.

Luckily, the hospital was a couple of blocks away and Steve knew all to well since he used to spend quite some time there, he knows he’ll probably get there faster than an ambulance since it’s probably a busy night, being Friday and all.

***

To his relief, and after minutes and minutes of wasting time on the page, innumerous tabs open with none of them getting him in the mood, Bucky finally finds a video to jack off to.

Solo white male, perfectly ripped abdomen, sitting in front of his computer and lying back on a couch comfortably, nice long dick, some tattoos on his arms _but not as many as I would like,_ the guy puts his hand around his penis and starts jacking off _, fuck yes._  

In the video, the man’s head is a bit out of frame but Bucky doesn’t have a problem with it since he can easily put a face to it, he knows it’s wrong considering the way he has been behaving towards Steve, but he can’t help thinking how gorgeous the man had looked biting down his lower lip the other day at the café.

Bucky licks his lips, the metal of his piercing slick with saliva, and starts mimicking the man’s pace; he grabs a hold of the lubricant and slicks one of his hands with it, smearing all of the liquid on his palm. He kneels on top of the bed looking down at the computer, his body weight resting on his heels. Bucky reaches back and down to start stretching himself, pressing slowly the tip tow of his fingers around his opening, still pulling at his dick with the other hand.

When long and desperate minutes pass, he feels he’s stretched out enough, his warm ring of muscles tightening around his fingers, and finally grabs more lubricant to coat his vibrating dildo; the thing is not so big in size but is enough for his personal use. After a moment, he gets on all fours for easier penetration and starts pressing the dildo against his hole, his hard cock hanging between his legs, _oh shit, I needed this_. He lets out a gasp and angles himself a bit better, he lowers his elbow to the bed and rests his upper body against it, his ass in the air as the dildo starts going deeper into him, a little farther up his entrance and it presses down on his prostate.

“Yes, right there”, he whispers.

Bucky bites his lower lip as he pulls it out a bit and then back in, he fumbles with the bottom of it and turns on the vibrator, _oh god_. Bucky gasps looking up at the computer screen for a few seconds, the man is rubbing his hands all over his body and he wishes he could feel those hands on him. He presses the dildo inside his ass as far as it goes, he amps up the vibration and leaves it there, and he’s moaning happily.

“Fuck”, he hisses.

He rests his head against his left arm, now completely lowered on the bed, his other hand starts stroking his dick at the same pace as the guy in the video, twisting his wrist at the head of his cock and he amps up the vibration as much as he can. He wants more but doesn’t know what else to do; he grabs onto the sheets tightly as he starts stroking faster, he turns his head down to the bed, struggling for air.

Bucky closes his eyes knowing he’s close, thinking about Steve’s sad eyes, his sweaty lower belly, his strong muscled arms, _and those tattoos, soap, musk, Old Spice_. Bucky comes moaning loudly against the bed sheets in no time, if he starts moaning Steve’s name, nobody has to know.

_I can’t believe I’m masturbating to someone who is probably straight._

***

Steve moves as fasts as he can practically lifting the smaller man off the floor, as he enters the E.R., two male nurses help him out with Monty, they lay him down on a hospital bed and Steve takes a step behind to give them space to work properly. They start taking his vitals and push Steve out of the curtain, one of the male nurses is asking him questions and even though it was barely understandable, Monty was responding.

Steve takes a deep breath and looks down at his clothes, his hoodie is a bit dirty, a mixture of blood and mud but he’s not bothered by it, he just hopes that Monty is doing okay, besides, he knows too well by now how to get blood stains out of his clothes.

He leans back against the wall behind him, trying not to get in anybody’s way, a few minutes pass and an older lady, another nurse, recognizes him immediately, “well, if it isn’t little Steve Rogers”, she smiles up at him cupping his face, “What brings you around here, honey? Are you hurt?” she asks kindly.

“Hello, Miss Lane”, he wraps and arm around the woman’s body gently, “I’m all right but I’m afraid I found one of my friends a bit injured”, he explains, “I really don’t know any of his information, but I have a number of someone who might”, Steve offers.

“Leave me the number and we’ll figure it out”, she says, patting at his shoulder.

“Can I also leave you my number? In case you can’t reach this person or if they need more information about what happened”, Steve shrugs his shoulders.

“Yes, absolutely, follow me”, she answers with a smile.

***

Bucky is drying his hair after the needed shower he just had when he hears his phone ringing, he turns off the machine quickly and reaches for the device.

“Hello”, he answers cheerfully.

“Bucky, I’m sorry to call this late, but can you come meet me at Saint Trinity’s Hospital?” Dum Dum says in the other line of the phone.

“What, why? What happened?” he asks hurriedly as he enters his room to put some clothes on.

“Monty got beat up and mugged”, he explains, “do you have our insurance info?”, the redhead asks.

“Yes, I needed it in case something happened during a show”, he says trying to remember where he placed the papers, “wait a second, I just got out of the shower, I’ll be right there”, Bucky informs.

The brunet arrives at the hospital minutes later with his hair all over the place, his face cold and his body trembling, he walks to the front desk and asks for Monty, he has an envelope with all of Monty’s insurance information and he hopes they’ll let him see his friend.

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes”, a nurse greets him taking the papers from his shaky hand, “also, Ste… the young man who brought your friend left some information, in case you needed to contact him”, the older lady comments.

“Oh, thank you”, he nods, “do you think I can have his number? I’d like to call him to say thanks” he says, the nurse just nods and hands him the contact information before she walks away.

Bucky moves back to were they instruct him Monty was, when he arrives there Dum Dum is sitting next to Monty’s bed, his friend has his eyes closed and a side of his face looks a bit swollen, his lower lip is busted and he has stitches on top of his eyebrow, other than that he doesn’t look so bad.

“The nurse said he’s going to be fine and he’ll be dispatched as soon as he wakes up again”, Dum Dum informs when he notices Bucky in the room.

“He’s not in a coma or anything like that, right?” Bucky asks worried.

“No, he was awake a while ago, he just went back to sleep”, his friend nods slowly.

_Shit, that was close._

“I’m going to call this guy”, Bucky lifts the piece of paper, “at least to let him know how Monty’s doing”, he says before he walks away towards the waiting area.

He dials the phone and waits patiently, the tone rings twice until someone finally answers; Bucky is surprised when he hears a familiar voice answering on the other side of the phone.

“Rogers”, the man says.

***

After leaving the hospital, Steve figured he should have gone home but his initial plan involved going to the grocery store so that’s what he did, since he was really hungry; he bought the essentials and then went straight home. He arrived home hours later after he left and Captain was waiting for him patiently by the door.

“I’m sorry I was out too long”, he tells his friend.

Steve places the handful of bags on top of the counter; he puts everything away and settles to cook some chicken breast with vegetables in the oven. As he’s waiting in the couch, his phone starts to ring on top of the coffee table in front of him. Steve tries to reach for the device with his free hand, without dropping the bag of ice that was resting on top of his right hand.

The blond frowns because he doesn’t recognize the phone number, he suspects it’s someone calling about Monty; he picks up quickly and places the phone against his ear.

“Rogers”, Steve answers.

“Who the hell answers the phone with their last name anymore?” the person on the other line chuckles, he is surprised that he recognizes the voice from the caller.

“Bucky?” the blonde asks.

_Are you kidding me? Out of all people._

“Hey, um… Steve?” he questions.

“Is something wrong?” Steve worries.

“Yeah, well…” he sighs, “shit, no, Monty is fine”, Bucky says.

“Are you sure?” Steve wonders almost standing up from his seat.

“Yes, thank you”, Bucky says a bit more cheerful clearing his throat, Steve wasn’t seeing the guy but he could swear the brunet had a smirk on his lips, “I just wanted to let you know he’s fine, you can go back to whatever you were doing”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, thanks for calling”, Steve nods.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Bucky whispers.

“Um… sure?” he frowns in confusion, Steve could’ve sworn he was talking to a completely different person, sure he wanted to talk to Bucky, but the man hadn’t exactly been kind or friendly towards him, that’s why Bucky’s words caught him off guard.

“Good night, Steve”, the brunet hangs up quickly before Steve can say anything else.

“Good night?” Steve frowns at his phone again, wondering if he imagined the last part of the conversation.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it twice a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

Steve felt today was going to be a great day. It is Saturday afternoon and he got off from work early, he drives home with a smile on his face and for once in days, he feels lighter, like a weight is being lifted off his shoulders. He’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit it had something to do with Bucky.

Monty had been attacked the previous day and that was awful, but thankfully he was going to be all right. He talked to Bucky last night and the brunet said he wanted to talk, _and his voice sounded so sexy on the phone_ , Steve is more than exited, to say the least.

***

Bucky is feeling anxious today, he even woke up early and took a bath which was really uncharacteristic, _even though I showered last night._ He’s not sure why, _bullshit_ , he knows perfectly why, after Monty’s situation, he ended up feeling guilty when he spoke to Steve, the man had been there to help Monty and Bucky realized that perhaps he had been misjudging the guy and that’s why he asked him if they could talk.

_About what? I don’t even know._

He was currently chilling at the couch having a Popsicle when Natasha waltz into the apartment, Bucky didn’t pay much attention when she left but he’s sure she doesn’t own a t-shirt from the band Throwdown, which can only mean one thing, it’s Clint’s.

“C’mon, Natalia, walk towards me”, he waves a hand at her, “I want you to strut out that walk of shame”, Bucky giggles.

“Oh, soooo shameful”, the redhead chuckles twirling towards him before she falls down on the couch next to him, “give me”, she says grabbing at his Popsicle.

“You can have it”, he smiles at her, “hey, are you going to the show tonight?” he asks. _Please, say yes._

“You mean the show at SHIELD?” she questions raising an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah”, he nods.

“You actually want to go to the show at SHIELD tonight?” she asks surprised.

“Yes, don’t act like it’s a big deal”, Bucky tries to brush it off.

“It is a big deal James!” Natasha laughs.

***

Steve goes outside to take Captain for a short walk before the show. He wants to clear his mind and tries not to get his hopes up too high about what Bucky might say to him. The blond takes out his phone while Captain is exploring a nearby bush.

 **Steve:** Hey, what time are you guys going to be at SHIELD?

 **Clint:** I dunno I’ll ask Sam.

An answer comes back a few minutes later:

 **Clint:** He said that why are you texting me if you know I never know our schedule :B

 **Clint:** He said to text you that we gonna be there by 8

 **Steve:** Thanks Clint :P

The pair goes back to his house in a few more minutes despite Captain’s protests; he takes a quick shower and gets ready for the show, if he changes his outfit twice, nobody is there to notice.

***

“James, I have something to tell you”, she says laying her head on his shoulder.

“You and Clint are official now?” he says randomly.

“Yes”, Natasha confirms plainly.

“What, really? I was kidding”, he chuckles, “Wow, congratulations, Natalia!” he tells her passing his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer, “are you excited?” he smirks at her.

“Yes, he’s cool and very funny and I don’t know… He gets me”, she shrugs with a small smile on her face looking up at Bucky.

“That’s what’s important, I’m happy for you”, he kisses her forehead “so, when are you moving out”, Bucky lifts an eyebrow at her and Natasha hits him for that, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, jeez!” he laughs some more.

_I give her six months._

“I’m hungry, I’m going to make some lunch”, Bucky announces standing up, “you want some?” he offers.

“Yes, I’m starving”, she stretches her arms over her head.

***

When he arrives at SHIELD his friends are already there, _like always_. He parks his bike near the entrance and leaves the helmet hooked on one of the handle bars, he runs a hand through his hair trying to sooth it back into place, he takes a deep breath and starts walking towards the door.

“Late again, Rogers”, Sam remarks as he gives him a hug, Clint hugs him too but he’s fidgeting a lot, looking around the place, like he’s looking for something, _or someone_.

Steve turns around slowly and spots Natasha and Bucky entering the place, she has one arm hooked on Bucky as they walk giggling and laughing at their own private conversation, the one that Steve desperately wants to be a part of. Natasha is wearing a green thick wool sweater that goes along with her perfectly straight red hair, dark wash skinny jeans and black ankle boots. Steve has to admit she looks gorgeous, _as always_ , but she’s not the one taking all of Steve’s attention.

The blond focuses on Bucky and that slow bouncing of his hips that’s starting to drive him crazy, the brunet is wearing black combat boots, the skinniest black jeans that Steve has ever seen, a dark gray sweater and a black leather jacket, his hair perfectly tousled while a few rebel strands fall over his forehead.

Steve’s staring, _again_ , but fortunately nobody seems to notice. He tries to shake his head and turns to see that Clint’s face lights up immediately when he notices them, _more like he sees Natasha_ , and he waves at them happily. Natasha practically sprints towards them and takes Clint’s offered hand before she leans in tipping on her toes and kisses him, in the mouth. It’s weird to see both of his friends like this, _cute but weird_ , he definitely feels happy for them.

“WHAT?!” Sam exclaims exaggeratedly, “I thought we had a thing, Natasha!” Both Clint and Natasha smirk at them.

“Check out who has the prettiest girlfriend ever”, Clint says hugging Natasha, the redhead smiles at him.

_These guys are adorable._

***

As he arrives with the group, Natasha and Clint are already holding on to each other, by the look of astonishment on both Sam and Steve’s faces he guesses they just announced they’re official. He goes to stand next to Steve, the guy is looking at him and Bucky remains calm, he said he was going to give him a change and try not to be so hostile towards him.

The brunet leans to the side into Steve’s personal space, “Hi”, he whispers, it felt weird but a good kind of weird, the blond mouths ‘Hi’ back with a bright smile that leaves Bucky feeling light-headed.

“I can’t believe it”, Sam is saying patting Clint’s shoulder, “Congrats, man!” the man shouts.

“Did you know about this?” Steve asks Bucky.

“Yeah, she told me earlier”, Bucky nods.

“They make a good couple”, Steve comments.

_Fuck, that smile again._

“Definitely”, the brunet smirks back.

“ _Bucky, I thought you didn’t like Steve_ ”, Natasha tells him in Russian, drawing his attention away from Steve.

 _“I never said I didn’t like him”,_ he answers back.

“ _You said he was meh”, Natasha reminds him._

_“I still think meh, but he’s not that bad”, Bucky giggles and his friend rolls her eyes._

“Are you guys speaking in Russian? This is so impressive”, Steve says interrupting.

Bucky smiles at him, “yeah”, he nods.

It felt good, being able to cross a few words with the man, Bucky is glad he decided to leave his grudges at the door and start living, _for once_ , he has been missing so much of the outside world just because he doesn’t want to get hurt again, meeting new people and making friends was something he used to enjoy, perhaps he chose a good time to start again. Better yet, there were no signs of Brock or any of his friends, and even if he decided to appear, Bucky is not alone.

***

The show is going on nicely, everybody looks like they’re having fun, jumping around and singing, Steve even notices Bucky singing along to a few songs and he can’t help but smile, Steve has never seen him like this but it’s definitely his new favorite thing.

Tonight’s main band is Power Trip, not exactly Steve’s genre but they’re good, definitely on the top of the newest bands in the scene, and Bucky seems to be enjoying himself. _I guess this is more his style._

“Well, that was fast”, Sam remarks when the band finishes their set.

“Yeah, they’re good, it ended pretty quickly”, Steve comments hiding his excitement.

“I’ve seen them a few times before, their sets are always fast”, Bucky shrugs.

Clint and Natasha approached them a few minutes after, the guy had his arm around the girl’s shoulders and she had hers on Clint’s waist, Steve didn’t miss the way Bucky smiled as soon as he noticed the affectionate expression on his friend’s face.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving”, Clint announces.

_Does this mean we’re going to go eat together?_

“Why don’t we all get something to eat?” Bucky suggests with a small smile.

_Oh yes, music to my ears. Is like he read my mind._

***

Everyone was checking out the band merchandise before leaving for the diner and Bucky was starting to feel anxious. He decides to head out for a smoke even though he technically quit a couple of months ago, he just can’t help it, Steve follows him a few steps behind but Bucky doesn’t mind. He leans back against the wall and places his foot up on the wall; he lights up the cigarette and looks up at Steve when he feels his eyes on him.

“You want a smoke?” he asks politely.

“No, thanks”, Steve shakes his head smiling before he looks away.

“I forgot, you’re straight edge”, Bucky mentions. _Here comes the preaching._

“That’s not the only reason why I said no”, he comments, “even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t smoke”, Steve adds.

“Oh yeah, why then?” Bucky wonders with a chuckle, “I know, cancer and shit”, he says before he takes a puff of the toxic substance.

_Is this guy for real?_

“Yeah, that and also…” Steve gives Bucky a side look before he starts forward again, “I’m asthmatic”, he says shyly.

“Oh, I see…” Bucky nods feeling guilty all of the sudden.

 _I’m such an asshole_.

There’s a moment of silence between them, strangely, it’s not uncomfortable but Bucky wants to say something, anything, at least to make Steve think he’s not a complete moron, Bucky clears his throat after he takes the last puff of cigarette and destroys it with the heel of his boot.

“Steve?” he whispers looking to the side.

“Yeah?” the blond sighs.

“I know I said I wanted to talk to you”, Bucky looks down at his feet when he feels Steve’s stare on him, “listen…” he tilts his head up to notice that Steve has a hopeful expression on his face, Bucky doesn’t even know why but it makes him realize he’s doing the right thing, “I really think we started off on the wrong foot”, he offers a small smile”, he sighs heavily.

Steve smiles at that, _what a dork,_ “yes, I think we did”, the blonde remarks.

“So, what do you say if we uumm… start again”, Bucky suggests.

The blonde opens his eyes wide but he remains silent and Bucky is starting to regret this, _perhaps it was a bad idea_ , and just when he is opening his mouth to tell Steve to forget about it, the guy speaks again.

“Steve Rogers, nice to meet you”, the blonde offers his hand with a _beautiful_ smile plastered on his face.

Bucky giggles at the man’s enthusiasm and stretches his hand to shake his, Steve’s grip is strong but not hurtful at all, his hand is warm in contrast with Bucky’s cold fingers, he can feel the callouses against his own soft hands and his fingers are long curling around Bucky’s, they end up shaking their hands for longer than they intended but neither of them complain.

“Bucky Barnes, nice to meet you too”, Bucky grins back.

***

Steve lets out a long sigh as he takes a glance at his friends sitting around him, all of them are waiting for their food in the diner, everyone is laughing and chatting and having a good time overall, he smiles to himself because that, right there, is exactly what he needs, _it feels right_.

Clint and Natasha look so happy, and Sam and Bucky keep making fun of them while Steve just chuckles. They eat peacefully, making jokes and happy noises, laughing at Steve for being a vanilla guy when everybody ordered extravagant milkshake flavors, they also made fun of Clint for folding his slice of pizza like a taco, Bucky ate the pickles that Steve took out of his cheeseburger and the blonde kept stealing Bucky’s fries from his plate when he wasn’t looking until he realized and swatted Steve’s hand away with a chuckle.

At the end, the waitress brings their bills and Bucky snatches Steve’s from his hand, “this one’s on me”, Bucky leans to the side and whispers to his ear, the ghost of Bucky’s hot breath making Steve’s body tremble. 

“Why?” Steve asks surprised. _Seriously though, why?_

“It’s the least I can do, you know”, he shrugs his shoulder, “for what you did for Monty”, Bucky answers as if it’s obvious.

“I’m really glad that he’s all right, but I didn’t do it just because it was Monty”, Steve shakes his head, “I just can’t stand bullies and he seemed like he needed a hand and I was happy to help”, Steve informs.

“Yeah, either way”, he pats Steve’s hand, “thanks, seriously”, Bucky stares at Steve with kindness in his eyes.

_This man is going to kill me with those puppy eyes, help._

“But you don’t need to”, Steve starts to explain as he gets interrupted by Bucky.

“Just let me pay for your goddamn dinner, Rogers”, Bucky insists with a huff, but there is no anger in his voice.

“Okay”, Steve says quietly, almost like a whisper.

_Don’t blush, please._

And with that they head outside, their friends long gone by now, he walks Bucky to where his bike was and thanks him for a thousand time for the dinner, the brunet said it was no problem and waved goodbye over his shoulder.

_I still don’t understand why he would pay for it._

***

He is seeing a new side to Steve that his paranoia about Brock didn’t allow him to see before, he started noticing Steve is caring, and friendly and good; he goes to bed that night with a smile on his face.

_This can’t be good, besides, he’s probably straight._

***

As Steve walks into his apartment, he feel so content and happy about the day, replaying the night in his head, he opens the back door for Captain and plays with him a bit, when he finally goes to bed minutes later, his heart is throbbing fast inside his ribcage when he remembers Bucky’s hand on his.

_He probably thinks I’m lame._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the dialogue in Russian, sorry about it, unfortunately we don't know Russian or anyone who can speak Russian, and we don't trust Google Translate at all, we apologize for our laziness :c


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it twice a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

Tuesday morning Steve arrived at Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop, he doesn’t have that many appointments early but he wants to be there in case of walk-ins, besides, he has to finish sketching a new calf piece for Peter Parker, a kid that had started working with Clint and Sam a few months ago, and easily be-friended anyone.

As soon rolls in, all a sudden he realizes he has an audience, not that he minds but he was so lost in his work he didn’t notice when they got there. Sam, Clint and Peter are looking at him while he sketches; Peter was also clicking away at his camera.

Steve takes off his earphones and turns around, “hey, guys”, he says as a form of greeting, “it’s really starting to worry me how many people can just approach the station without me even noticing, I’m going to have to turn around the desk”, he comments with a chuckle.

“Darcy let us in, I hope you don’t mind”, Peter smiles shyly.

“It’s cause you’re hearing music, if you weren’t you would have heard us speaking to you”, Sam nods.

“Was it that loud?” Steve wonders.

_Ah c’mon, it wasn’t that loud._

“Yes, definitely, even for me”, Clint giggles tapping at the hearing aid on his right ear.

***

Bucky knows it’s early but hasn’t really checked the time, he already had breakfast and taken a bath, he currently was revising the book he’d been working on last week, when he gets a call from Tony. 

“Hey, Buck-o, I was wondering if you could come over, Dad wants you to check out a Japanese manual”, the man informs.

“Yeah, sure, I got today off”, he remembers, “I’ll be there in 45 minutes to an hour”, Bucky says.

“See you in a bit then”, Tony hangs up.

The brunet gathers his things and tosses the notebooks that don’t need to be over his bed, he puts on a jacket and heads off to Stark Tower, he thinks for a second about riding his bike there but decides to walk instead, the subway isn’t so crowded since it’s not rush hour. He hums to himself as he listens to Agnostic Front as loud as his ears can bear; he isn’t exactly paying attention to his surroundings until he notices from the corner of his eye a man with facial features that catches Bucky’s attention.

At first, he kicks himself internally for his over excitement, he thought the man was Steve, he tries not to stare but it’s impossible, the guy looks a lot like Steve, but it’s obviously not him since this man is younger, probably in his early twenties, he has a buzz cut and his hair is slightly darker than Steve’s, and also, let’s not forget the fact that this man was flirting shamelessly with a couple of ladies in front of him.

_Steve doesn’t seem the type of man who would do that, right?_

Bucky arrives at the tower a bit earlier than he expected, as he checks the lobby, he sees Tony with his cellphone glued to his ear and goes from nodding to shaking his head.

“Yes Pepper… no, I understand”, he sighs, “Three months, Really? I can’t believe it, is there a way to get us in front of the line?” he wonders, “Ok, I know he’s someone with integrity”, the man rolls his eyes, “ok, I’ll wait, thanks, Peppy”, he stars doing kissy noises at the phone before he hangs up.

“Tony”, Bucky nods at him.

“Hey, Barnes, didn’t see you there”, he pats Bucky’s shoulder, “I was talking to Pepper about this guy that I want to get a tattoo from”, Tony comments as he puts his phone away.

“Oh right, those Star-Spangled dudes”, Bucky hums. 

“Yeah, Steve Rogers”, Tony smirks.

“Oooooooh!” Bucky exclaims, feeling a light shinning bright above him, “so that’s where Steve works!” Bucky chuckles putting two and two together.

“Well, he doesn’t just work there, he owns the place”, Tony wiggles his eyebrows.

“Really?” Bucky wonders in surprise.

_Who would have thought that Steve was so popular?_

***

“You… you don’t mind me taking pictures?”, Peter asks lifting his camera.

“No, go ahead Peter”, Steve encourages, “the guys told me you were good at photography, I might buy those later for the shop’s webpage”, Steve offers with a smile.

“Really? Oh, man, that would be awesome!” Peter smiles wide, his face lighting up; he walks out the room and starts taking pictures of the lobby and the rest of the shop.

“How come you guys are here too?” Steve asks Clint and Sam.

“You want us to go!” Clint starts whining and pretends to cry.

“It was just a question!” Steve chuckles along with Sam.

“We’re on our lunch break, it’s his first tattoo, we’re not going to leave him alone through it”, remarks Sam with a nod.

“Besides, we haven’t been here in a while, we wanted to check on you”, Clint adds patting Steve’s shoulder.

Clint and Sam own a bike delivery service in New York, the three of them opened up their business at about the same time, after several years of hard work, sweat and tears and a lot of ass kissing, _in Clint’s words_ , the three of them were becoming very successful.

Peter has been working for them for about a year while he’s in college, he is very young but he seems very promising in stepping up in the company and he’s also starting to get into the hardcore scene, so finding common interests with them, mentoring is like next to no job.

“I’m kind of nervous, I know it’s going to hurt, but still I really want to get it”, Peter comments walking back into the room

“You know they’re a big responsibility”, Steve tells him lifting up the sketches to show him.

“It’s not the responsibility of having one that has me worried, I just know I’ll probably want to get more” Peter confesses with a smile.

***

“C’mon, follow me”, Tony instructed walking towards the elevator, “I want you to see what Banner and me are working on before you get hogged by my father”, the shorter man nods.

“Sure, you know I love this stuff”, Bucky follows him.

They go up in the elevator and stop in a floor that Bucky has never been into, they walk through a long corridor and unto a lab, the place was huge, occupying most of the floor, open spaces with various light tables, desks and shelves with all sorts of tools and artifacts scattered around, along with several blue prints and scale models.

Bucky notices the young man, probably on his early thirties, with curly black hair and glasses, wearing a white lab coat, is leaning on the table making notes with a red pen, a tall slim red-head girl with pristine outfit and _killer_ shoes is showing him some annotations on a tablet.

“What? You’re here?” Tony asks confused, “but I was just on the phone with you”, he says to the woman.

“You didn’t ask me where I was”, she shrugs a shoulder, “hi, Bucky”, she smiles turning to him.

“Hey, Pepper”, he says back walking towards her to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“C’mon, let me introduce you”, Tony waves at him, to come closer to where he is standing, “Bruce Banner, James Barnes” Tony points from one man to the other with a Twizzler that appeared magically in his hand. _Hey, I want one of those._

“You can call me Bucky”, he smiles shaking Bruce’s hand.

“Hello Bucky, you can call me Bruce”, the man smirks, “Tony has told me a lot about you”, the man comments.

“Oh, cool”, Bucky nods, “I’ve read a lot about you too”, he shrugs.

“I hope only the good things.” Bruce offers a small smile, letting his sight fall over the blueprints before him.

As Tony engages Bruce in conversation about what they were working on, Peppers says her goodbyes and walks away with her cellphone pressed against her ear, Bucky is not following the conversation and he decides to fish for his phone inside the pocket of his jeans.

He browses around the web, scrolling up and down on Instagram and wasting time on Facebook, not really talking to anyone. All of a sudden, Bucky manages to find the courage to text Steve, he’s been thinking about it all day, since they shared a good moment the last time they were together, even though they didn’t talk much, Bucky felt more at peace when they ate at the diner that night.

_So, why not? I’ve got nothing to lose, heck it!_

**Bucky:** Is this Steve’s phone?

_Duh, you talked to him last night._

The brunet waits for a couple of minutes and starts to think if this was a bad idea or not, maybe he had misread the situation and Steve didn’t want to talk to him after all, or perhaps he’s trying to give Bucky a taste of his own medicine. Bucky sighs heavily and just when he starts to give up on waiting for an answer, his phone buzzes in his hand and he unlocks the screen hurriedly.

 **Steve:** Yes, Bucky?

 **Bucky:** Yeap!!! Just saved your number on my phone ;)

_Shit, shit, shit. I shouldn’t have sent that winky face. Shit._

**Steve:** I’m doing the same as we speak, well, as we text, I guess. And not that it’s happening at the same time, like, can you do that simultaneously? I’m not so sure, it would be cool though.

_This dork, seriously. Isn’t he cute?_

***

Steve had already started tattooing Peter, but as soon as he hears his phone buzzing, he looked at the time and realized they had been working for an hour and a half.

He lets Peter take a break and he goes to check his phone, it was a text from Bucky. Steve smiles down at the device, he’s positive he looks like an idiot but he really doesn’t care, he tries to calm himself and returns the text. He got an answer a few seconds later and he screams internally when he sees Bucky added a winky face in his text.

_Jeez, Rogers, relax!_

_It’s just a winky face, he’s not asking you to marry him._

_This is why they call you blushing virgin._

The blonde tries to sooth his nerves as they talk a bit back and forth, Steve’s pretty sure he’s embarrassing himself, _just shut up already, Rogers_. He’s been trying to imply that he’s interested in Bucky, but since he is a friend of a friend he doesn’t want to be too forward or too pushy, but he was trying to be flirty, _I’m trying, okay? I really am_. He still believes it’s coming off as awkward and lame, _as usual._

 **Bucky:** You doing something today? :p

 **Steve:** I’m working right now

_He keeps texting emojis, are you kidding? I can’t with this._

**Bucky:** No! Like later today, like at 7. If you’re not doing anything, we should go get some coffee, I’m going to the one near the cinema.

 **Steve:** Yes, sure, let’s do that :D

_Ok, just a happy face, cool. That’s cool, right?_

Steve read the text over and over again, Bucky is the one who suggested it and the blonde can’t stop smiling, he’s glad that his friends are talking with Darcy in the lobby, otherwise they’ll be all over him asking about who was he texting.

_Is this really happening?_

**Bucky:** Ok, see you there at seven :p

 **Steve:** It’s a deal :)

He ends up writing that instead of ‘it’s a date’ because really he doesn’t know, he’s trying not to get his hopes high but at least it’s a start.

_Was that smiley face too much? Oh shit, I think I need my inhaler._

***

As soon as Bucky looks up at what Tony and Bruce are working on, he feels like the two men are so lost in their world that he decides to let them be and heads out without saying a word, he walks out of the room to go look for Howard Stark.

The man usually works in the building’s top offices; Bucky’s credential gives him clearance to walk between offices, he wonders around for a moment until he enters the elevator and goes up to find Howard.

“Hey, Jarvis?” Bucky asks at the air.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes?” the AI with the British accent answers politely.

“Can you tell me where Mr. Stark is?” he wonders.

“Absolutely, I’ll guide you, I believe he’s expecting you”, Jarvis says.

“Oh, thanks”, Bucky smirks even though there is no one to smirk to.

Moments later, he finds Howard in his office, he is talking on the phone looking outside the window, the man covers the speaker and explains briefly what needs to be done, and with a nod he returns back to his call, Bucky didn’t even have a chance to say hello. The manual that was handed to him was thick, but most of it was images and a bit of colloquial Japanese which is not a big problem for him, Bucky returns to his office and continues to work on the translation a little later than four p.m., and then heads back home arriving around five.

When Bucky gets home, he’s starving and waiting another two hours before having something to eat is _inconceivable_ , but since he’s the laziest person when it comes to cooking he’ll probably settle for a Campbell’s soup. _Holy shit, I’m seeing Steve in two hours_.

Bucky lifts his right arm and turns his head to the side to sniff his armpit, “holy shit, I need a shower”, Bucky sighs deeply and debates between taking a shower first or eating, his stomach answers quickly with a growl.

 _Food it is_.

As he heads to the small kitchen, he pulls out his phone types a quick message to his best friend, she’ll probably give him shit about it in the near future but he doesn’t care, he’s going out with Steve.

 **Bucky:** Natasha!

 **Natalia:** What’s up

 **Bucky:** I’m going out :D

 **Natalia:** Where to?

 **Bucky:** Café near the cinema ;)

 **Natalia:** Alone? 

 **Bucky:** With Steve

_This is not a date, this is not a date, this is not a date._

_It couldn’t be, right?_

_I bet he’s straight._


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is our first fanfic ever so bare with us, please.
> 
> The work started with a single paragraph ficlet and then turned into a monster of its own (sorry?). Most of the story is already written but since we're evil and we want to make you suffer like we did, we're going to be updating it twice a week.
> 
> Our mother tongue is not English, (we're Mexican, in case you're wondering), if there are more than a few grammatical errors that's probably why, we apologize in advance for that. Also, we don't have a proofreader but we try to search for typos as best as we can, which means that all mistakes are ours but if you happen to spot something, feel free to let us know, please and thank you.
> 
> We really hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did writing it.
> 
> Constructive criticism, comments, kuddos and all that jazz are more than welcome.

After dispatching Peter, he had quite a few walk-ins, mostly for touch ups; Steve is usually super booked, they are currently understaffed with Loki working on piercings more than on tattooing, he has two days a week scheduled only for walk-ins and a his agenda is booked for months, which is always good.

By the time 6:45 rolls by he’s sweaty and tired as he finishes cleaning his working station, his lower back aches and his hands are shaky but he can’t swipe off the smile in his face. He takes out a spare t-shirt from the closet at the shop and rolls on some Old Spice from his bag, trying to mask his body odor. He puts on his ‘A Fire Inside’ hoodie, _good thing I chose this one today, the Good Luck Hoodie_ , and checks for his things one last time.

“Where are you going?” Darcy wonders curiously.

“How come you assume I’m going out, rather than just going home as usual?” Steve asks lifting an eyebrow at the girl.

“You seem extra cheerful today for some reason and you just changed your shirt, also today is not a Red Room day”, Darcy wiggles her eyebrows, damn her for being so perceptive.

“Well, you’re not wrong”, Steve chuckles.

“Sooooo? Who’s the lucky girl? Or is it a guy?” Darcy smiles wide.

“I’m going to take a coffee with a friend, just a friend”, Steve comments trying to hide his excitement.

_He’s not even a friend, yet._

“Yeah, right”, she mutters between her teeth, “well, I hope you have a great time with your “just a friend”, whoever they are”, Darcy giggles warmly.

“Thanks, Darce”, Steve nods, “let me help you close”, he offers.

“Nah, don’t worry, you don’t wanna make them wait”, she waves a hand at him in a shooing motion, “besides I’m not alone”, she shrugs.

“What do you mean? Who’s waiting for you?” Steve wonders.

“I am”, Loki walks in from the back of the shop.

“Oh, okay?” Steve frowns his eyebrows as he tilts his head to the side, he’s not sure what’s going on but he won’t try to push his friends, if they have something going on they’ll eventually tell him.

“Steve, go!” Darcy demands.

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys tomorrow”, he nods turning around, “good night”, Steve waves back over his shoulder and heads out into the chilly September air.

He rides his motorcycle to the café, the drive is not long and it helps soothe his nerves, if he’s gripping the handles way too tight he doesn’t even notice, he finds a parking spot near the place and as soon as he takes off his helmet, he tries to comb his hair with his fingers.

Steve rolls his shoulders back while he crosses the street trying to ground himself. As he gets closer, he sees Bucky through the big glass wall, the brunet is sitting in one of the tables near the back like last time, he’s looking down at his phone with a blank expression on his face and again those strands of hair falling unto his face, the guy is wearing a black leather jacket over a band t-shirt that Steve can’t see clearly, black jeans ripped at the knees and some beat up Doc. Martens, the piercings on his face shinning thanks to the lighting in the place.

_Fuck, just look at him._

***

Bucky gets to the café ten minutes early and sits at the same table at the back as he usually does, Steve isn’t there yet and Bucky keeps checking his phone, the time seems to be going by painfully slow and he tries not to freak out when he sees it’s already seven and Steve isn’t there, he distracts himself looking down at his phone until someone clears their throat close to him, at first he thinks it might be a waitress but when he looks up, his breath hitches in surprise.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”, Steve whispers looking down at his feet, “also, sorry for being late”, he adds sadly.

Bucky frowns and looks at the time on his phone, seven thirteen, he tries hard not to chuckle because it’s not even that late and Steve is actually apologizing for it, “there’s nothing to be sorry about”, he says, “actually, I think I’m the one who should be saying sorry”, he adds and that makes Steve look up, it’s the blonde’s turn to frown and looks at Bucky patiently, “I told you I want to start over”, Bucky stares up at him looking hopeful, “I want to do something to compensate you”, Bucky nods towards the chair and stretches his hand offering Steve to take a seat.

Steve has a puzzled look on his face but he takes a seat anyway, “compensate me?” Steve wonders.

_If you would let me, please._

“You know, for being such an ass”, Bucky shrugs.

“You don’t need to compensate me for anything, you weren’t being an ass, besides, you don’t know me, I understand”, the blonde says.

 _Is he even real?_  
  
“Exactly, I don’t know you”, Bucky shakes his head slowly.

_But I want to though._

The blonde doesn’t say anything but he seems to be thinking about it, Bucky starts feeling like this might have been a bad idea, perhaps Steve doesn’t want to have anything to do with him, Bucky lowers his eyes and prepares himself for rejection, he wouldn’t blame him though.

_But why would he agree to meet me then? To give me shit, like Brock’s friends do?_

“Well…” Steve hums, “again, my name is Steve Rogers, pleased to meet you”, he offers his hand and Bucky is sure that the smile spreading across his face could split his head in two.

“Bucky” he shakes Steve’s hand and hard tries not to let his fingers wonder up his wrist, “I like your hoodie, by the way”, he comments pointing at the man’s chest.

_I’d like it better off though._

“Oh, thanks”, Steve looks down smirking.

“So, Steve, what do you do for a living?” Bucky asks quirking an eyebrow trying to start some conversation.

“I am a tattoo artist”, Steve smiles wide, “what about you?” he asks.

“I’m a translator and Interpreter”, he shrugs.

“That’s cool”, Steve nods, “how many languages do you know?” the man adds.

“About seven, I’m still studying though”, Bucky answers.

“Oh, just seven”, Steve says sarcastically rolling his eyes and Bucky can’t help to smirk at that.

A waiter comes to the table to place their order and they fall silent for a few seconds, Bucky doesn’t want to make this awkward but he also needs to keep his guard up in case this day has a turn, every one keeps telling him that Steve is a genuinely nice guy, but him being a friend with Brock makes it a bit hard to believe, he has had enough of nightmares for a lifetime thanks to that man.

He’s pretty sure that Steve might be straight which is bad since Bucky finds him really attractive, but him getting close to Bucky at least as a friend, doesn’t mean he can’t hurt him.

***

“So how was your day?” Steve blurts out all of a sudden trying not to let the mood die down since that deep scowl on Bucky’s forehead is returning.

_He’s probably regretting this._

“I met the worlds most intelligent man, at least of New York”, the brunet chuckles casually.

“Bruce Banner?” he asks.

“Yes!” Bucky nods enthusiastically, “he’s working on a new energy project with Stark Industries, I only went to the building to translate a manual but Tony gave me the opportunity to see what they’re working on which is pretty cool”, Bucky cheers.

“That’s incredible!” Steve smiles at him.

“He was super shy though”, Bucky comments.

“You only go to Stark’s occasionally, right?” Steve wonders, trying to change the subject back to Bucky.

_Great, now he’s going to think I’m a creeper._

“Yeah, but they’re my main employer”, Bucky takes a sip of his coffee as soon as the waiter places it on the table along with the baked goods they ordered.

“So you have like a lot of free time?” the blonde asks. _Because I want you to spend it with me._

“It’s not a lot but yeah, I have some free time” Bucky answers plainly.

“That’s why you’re in a band?” he wonders.

“Actually, that’s a pretty funny story” the man says looking down at the coffee in his hands, as he continues, “I came back to New York about 3 years ago and in between getting a job I met them, and then they needed a vocalist so I joined”, he shrugs his shoulder.

“That’s nice”, Steve says smiling awkwardly.

“I really like spending time with them, they’re a cool bunch”, Bucky hums as he takes a big bite of a blueberry muffin, Steve tries not to stare too much when Bucky licks his lips, his tongue running over the piercing on his lip, and Steve feels his mouth water.

“ What about your other job?” he asks trying to concentrate on their conversation.

_Again with the creepiness, Rogers!_

“Well, I’m originally from here but my dad was transferred to D.C. when I was about to start high school, when I graduated I got a scholarship and moved to Rhode Island to start my career in Language Studies at Brown University” Bucky says taking another sip of his coffee and before he continues, “I had the opportunity to go to Russia as an exchange student, before I left I was an apprentice for a piercer and then during my stay, I was working at a shop there to pay extras, so when I came back it was the first job I got”, Bucky explains and Steve listens closely, “as soon as I got my title, I didn’t need to keep at it, but I like it, it takes the edge off”, he looks up to meet Steve’s eyes and the blonde swallows loudly.

_He’s perfect. I can’t with this man. I’m done._

***

He’s not sure why he said all those things, personal aspects about his life that nobody seems to care for, at least not Brock anyway, Steve had been listening with a smile on his face and Bucky doesn’t know what to think about it, he feels intrigued by this man, to say the least.

“But enough about me, I’ve been talking for the last hour”, he chuckles, “what about you, how long have you been living in Brooklyn?” he wonders.

_Tell me everything, anything!_

“All of my life ”, Steve says smiling proudly.

_His eyes get bluer every time he smiles, is that even possible?_

“You always wanted to be a tattoo artist?” Bucky asks.

“More like I always wanted to be an artist and the tattoos sort of came with the lifestyle, it gives me an opportunity to do two things that I love”, he explains happily.

“That’s nice”, Bucky comments, then silence for a moment as he looks at Steve take a sip of his smoothie, _don’t stare, and don’t make it awkward,_ and then “you have a dog, right?” he says,

_Ok, that was random._

“Captain, he’s a golden retriever”, he nods with a smirk.

“Is he a lot to handle?” Bucky questions, and for some reason, the idea of seeing Steve along with a dog makes his heart throb faster with happiness.

“Actually, he’s pretty tame, he loves kids, he enjoys being around other dogs too, he’s really friendly”, Steve smiles, “I take him for a walk almost daily, he’s by himself a lot during the day, I would prefer he wouldn’t but that won’t change for a while now…” he says blushing.

_Isn’t he adorable? He’s like the perfect man who is probably interested in apple pie girls._

“So, you went to art school?” Bucky wonders trying to hide the bitterness of his thoughts.

“I did, I was studying something else, but my mom got sick and she said that I should do whatever makes me happy so I enrolled into art school”, Steve says fiddling with the napkin in his hand.

“Your mom?” Bucky tilts his head to the side in question.

“She passed away a few years ago”, and to that, Bucky’s eyes widened with concern and Steve must’ve notice because he shook his head right away, “Oh no, don’t worry, it’s been a while she had been sick, and I’m ok now”, he smiles sadly.

“How did you meet Sam and Clint?” he asks trying to change the subject, not wanting to look at Steve’s sad face ever again.

“I met Sam in college and Clint kind of appeared, I guess”, he giggles, “we bonded a lot in shows, I know the hardcore music scene can get really violent, I mean, I can listen to different kinds of music, ‘Grandpa music’ as Clint likes to call it”, Steve giggles”,

_He fucking giggles, kill me!_

“I was a really angry child and when I discovered the scene it actually helped a lot, I started bonding with people that didn’t look down on me and I felt welcomed”, he sighs heavily and Bucky’s not sure what to think about that.

_Who could look down at a man like him?_

“I’ve known Sam for seven years and Clint for five, they’ve helped me through a lot, I really can’t thank them enough”, Steve comments and Bucky feels the urge to share with him, to spill everything.

“It’s nice to have good friends along with you, I used to be a part of the scene punk/hardcore scene in Rhode Island but I really didn’t bond with anyone and when I went to Russia I met Natalia”, he says, “we had an instant connection, as cheesy as that sounds, then came back here with her and it felt like home”, he chuckles and waits for Steve to laugh at him but the mocking never happens and Bucky takes it as a sign to continue, “I’ve got the Howling Commandos now so I can’t complain” Bucky says, a couple of minutes of silence happen and Steve just nods in understanding, “you do martial arts, right? That’s how you met Natasha”, the brunet comments.

“Yes, I’ve been doing it for eight years now, when I started I used to go to ‘S.S.R.’, on my fifth year there Natasha came in; a lot of guys tried to give her shit because a girl in the MMA world is not always welcome but she wouldn’t take any of it”, he smirks behind his smoothie, “that’s why I liked her so I started training with her, after a year of that she opened the Red Room and I stuck around with her, I guess”, he shrugs casually.

“Eight years? Are you kidding? That is a lot of conviction”, Bucky says surprised.

“Well, I used to be a 90 pounds sick teenager with a lot of health issues and a medical bill longer than my arm, and I needed to change that if I wanted to stick around”, Steve sighs.

“I’m glad you did then”, Bucky says trying not to blush, “I’m a lazy ass but I’m actually property owner of the Red Room, I guess I should go more often”, he chuckles.

_A lot more often._

***

Talking to Bucky felt fantastic, he laughs at his jokes and he pays attention to what he really thinks about stuff. At some point Steve has to check himself because he feels he’s asking too many questions, _and mumbling a lot_ , but after a while, Bucky doesn’t seem uncomfortable at all and asks Steve things back.

The truth is, Steve is ready to tell Bucky about everything, he feels like whatever it is they have going on it could become something more meaningful, in a certain way it feels like a déjà vu.

“Man it’s getting hot in here”, Bucky huffs.

“You’re still wearing your jacket”, Steve points out.

“Oh man, I hadn’t even notice”, he looks down at his arms chuckling.

Bucky removes his jacket slowly, Steve can see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt and he can see a shoulder brace under it. Maybe Steve isn’t ready to ask Bucky about everything after all, he remembers Bucky had mentioned something about a brace before, or perhaps he imagined it, either way, he doesn’t want to put Bucky off by a question that might come out as blunt, of course that Steve won’t make fun of him but their friendship, _is this a friendship?_ , anyway, whatever they have going on is barely starting and Steve has to be patient.

_Why haven’t I noticed before?_

***

He’s laughing at a story Steve was sharing with him about the first time Clint got a tattoo, when he notices his coffee is long since finished, the muffin he had ordered is now just crumbs scattered all over the plate; the café is only inhabited by them and the guys behind the counter are already packing up and clearing tables, the night is about to end and Bucky is getting sad all of a sudden.

Bucky hasn’t felt like this in a long time, it’s refreshing but quite scary to be honest, he’s sure he can talk about anything with Steve and the man would listen, the brunet is not sure what to make about it but the feeling of familiarity and safety is overwhelming, he knows he should be more careful, it could be all trick to drag him into the wolf’s mouth but Steve seems so honest and innocent that Bucky is trying to follow what his gut is telling him.

The brunet takes a deep breath and tries not to let his sadness show through his smile, “I guess this means we gotta go”, he tells Steve as he’s standing up.

“Yeah”, Steve sighs and leans forward to put on his jacket, Bucky does the same as he follows the taller man towards the door, and tries really hard for the sake of the people working there not to stare at the blonde’s ass shamelessly.

Bucky left his bike locked across the street and Steve walks him to it, it’s a nice gesture, a bit odd but nice, Steve waits patiently as he’s taking off the lock, he feels Steve shifting on his feet behind him and when Bucky turns around he sees the man taking the helmet from one of the handlebars of a motorcycle.

_No fucking way._

_A freaking motorcycle? What’s next?_

_I bet he bakes perfect apple pies, fuck me already!_

“You ride a motorcycle?” he asks surprised.

_Just when I thought he couldn’t get any hotter._

“Yes, you didn’t know?” Steve offers a small smile.

“No!” he shakes his head walking towards the man, “Wow, what a beauty”, Bucky whistles.

_And also the motorcycle, obviously._

He runs his hand over the body of the bike, the metal cold under his fingertips, he feels Steve stare at him but the man doesn’t say anything, Bucky would kill to have something like this, maybe he could buy one someday. He has the money to do so but just when he mentioned the idea of buying one about a year ago, Brock had slapped him across the face saying he didn’t need more distractions.

Bucky is trying hard not to let the memory sour the moment; he takes a deep breath and pushes the thoughts away, he looks up at Steve who is staring back at him with a weird expression on his face, his eyes are open wide and his mouth slightly open, Bucky retrieves his hand quickly and shoves it inside the pocket of his jacket.

“Pretty cool”, he nods looking away from Steve.

“Thanks”, Steve says.

***

Steve was trying hard to keep his breath under control and not have an asthma attack right in front of Bucky, _how embarrassing would that be?_ Watching the man’s tender touch, caressing the motorcycle and admiring every inch of it made Steve knees weak and wobbly, he has never felt so desperate for a human’s touch before, but after seeing the way his hand moved across the metal Steve felt his hair stand with goose bumps.

The couple spent another half an hour talking about motorcycles and fixie bikes right there on the street, Steve feels comfortable and insanely happy, he can’t shake of the feeling on the back of his mind like he has done this before, not talking outside on the street, _duh_ , but exchanging words with Bucky, the brunet’s smile, the way the corners of his eyes wrinkle, his mannerisms, the frown on his forehead, Steve has seen those features before, _but where?_

He thinks he’s probably going crazy; the feelings towards this man he doesn’t even know are growing fast inside his chest, considering the circumstances it’s a bit stupid since he doesn’t know Bucky likes him or not, but Steve can’t help it, he has always been a hopeless romantic and apparently there’s nothing he can do about it.

After a while, Bucky hops on his bike and waves Steve goodbye over his shoulder, he waits until the brunet is moving away to get on his motorcycle and starts moving towards the opposite direction to go home.

When Steve arrives, he takes a long sigh and leans against the back of the door and closes it behind him, he hears Captains nails scratch against the wooden floor as he runs towards him, Steve falls down to the floor slowly, his back pressed against the door, he smiles at Captain when he approaches and Steve pets him, scratching behind his ears softly.

“Oooh boy, I am crushing bad”, Steve shakes his head, “c’mon, let’s go for a walk”, he says standing back up again trying to ignore the blush creeping up his chest and cheeks.

***

When Bucky arrives home, Natasha is in the living room with her computer over her lap and the television on for background noise; he’s smiling wide but she doesn’t notice, _thankfully_ , she’s probably talking to Clint.

“What are you doing? Hey, comeback here!” she yells at him when he starts walking towards the kitchen, Bucky serves himself a glass of water and drinks all of it in three big gulps, Natasha doesn’t say anything else while she gets lost on the computer, typing away like a maniac, it makes Bucky laugh, he’s happy for her.

He starts walking to his bedroom hoping that Natasha won’t notice, he’s trying hard to avoid any kind of interrogation about his date with Steve, _or non-date?_ He knows that as soon as he starts talking, she’s going to notice how hard he’s falling for this man and Natasha is probably going to try to lecture him about it.

“You’re in a good mood”, she comments not looking away from the bright screen.

“Yeah? How can you tell?” he asks.

_I wonder why._

“Your humming and all”, she says thoughtfully

“Really? I didn’t even notice”, he says biting his lower lip, “ok, I’m off to bed, goodnight!” he announces walking fast towards his bedroom.

_Run away!_

“Hey!” he hears yell, “you’ll tell me all about it tomorrow!” Natasha shouts as he’s closing the door.

“Pheww!”, he sighs pretending to clean the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand.

_That was close._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hoodie that Steve is wearing is real, I (bitter_eyes) have it and my friends call it the "Lucky hoodie", strange things had happen while I'm wearing it, I though it might be funny to include it, *spoiler* said hoodie will make an appearance again in future chapters :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support, it's a bit overwhelming to be honest, we didn't expect to have this response at all, so quickly and this early in the story, there's a lot more from where this is coming from.
> 
> And again, thank you :D
> 
> Don't be shy and let us know what you think, (even if you hate it, or if you want to hit Brock as much as we do), we love reading your comments and opinions, also if you have some suggestions too, anything really.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Friday afternoon and Steve’s been dealing with anxiety the whole day, he has been trying to send a text to Bucky and invite him to his house for a movie night, but he doesn’t know how, the thing is, he’s not sure where he stands with the guy, sure they went out for coffee the other day and it was great, _perfect in my opinion_ , but Steve thinks it might be too forward if he invites him to his house, he doesn’t want him to think he has ulterior motives or that he’s trying to get in his pants, _I do want that too, don’t get me wrong_ , but Steve is almost a hundred percent sure that Bucky is not interested in him that way. 

But he thinks that’s the least thing he can do, if they are going to start a friendship, inviting him to his home is something personal, it’s where Steve was raised, a house that has belonged to his family for generations and the only thing that his mother left behind, perhaps not the only thing, considering Steve would be nothing if it wasn’t for her, _but you get the idea._

Steve has a _fuck it_ moment when he’s cleaning the leftovers of his lunch and types a quick message to send to the brunet, he tries not to think about it too much and puts the cellphone back in his pocket to wash his hands. He can’t help to feeling nervous, _hella nervous_.

 **Steve** : Hey, you doing something today? Want to come over and watch some movies?

_Fuck, was that too forward? Shit, it was, wasn’t it?_

_Great!_

The blond gets caught up with work after that, which is good because he would have been checking his phone for a reply that might not comeback, he tries to keep his mood up and eventually he even forgets about the message.

***

Bucky is thinking about how to ask Steve if he wants to hang out again this week, without sounding too eager; there aren’t any shows that he’s interested in, there aren’t showing any new movies at the cinema that he would like to see; he could just ask him out to get some food again, _but wouldn’t that be weird?_

He’s with a client at the shop; he’s having five different piercings in one session, _what a maniac_ , most of which are extremely private. When he goes back to the lobby, he notices he left his phone there and that an hour earlier Steve had sent him a message.

Fanfuckingtastic!

The brunet sweeps the screen and tries to unlock the phone as fast as he can without dialing the wrong password; he succeeds the third time and opens the messages app quickly to read it.

_I’ll get to see his house? I hope he hasn’t changed his mind._

**Bucky:** Sorry, didn't see this earlier. Sounds good. Still on? :D

_That’s cool, right? Simple._

_What if he says he changed his mind?_

***

Steve had lost hope; maybe inviting him over to his house this soon freaked him out, it makes him feel sad since they were heading towards a good direction, Bucky had made the first step and tried to change the situation, for some reason they started with the wrong foot and Bucky recognized what he was doing, or at least that’s what Steve thinks because ‘till this day he’s not sure what he did wrong.

He keeps himself occupied and stays away from his phone for a while only to avoid looking at it every five minutes. Two hours later, he notices Bucky did answer back.

_An hour ago? Brilliant, Steve, just brilliant._

**Steve:** Sorry, didn’t see this either until now! Let me send you my address and we’ll meet there, okay? :p

 **Bucky:** Ok, I’ll be there around eight :)

The smile spreading across Steve’s face is so big that even his cheeks start to hurt, he looks around and thankfully nobody is watching him grinning at his phone screen like an idiot.

After that, Steve continues to work in a better mood, although the time seems to be going by painfully slow, he’s not complaining though, the tattoo he’s currently doing is a realistic piece of the Statue of Liberty on a guy’s thigh, the artwork is coming out great and the man seems pretty happy with the way it’s turning out, today couldn’t be a better day.

As soon as his client steps out of his working station, Steve starts cleaning the area and putting everything away, he doesn’t have any more appointments for the day and he really needs to go grocery shopping, he thinks Bucky won’t appreciate dog food either, he needs to buy snacks and all sorts of junk food since he’s not sure what Bucky likes.

He goes to check up on Thor and Loki and says goodbye to the brothers, Steve walks to the lobby and tries to ignore the glances that Darcy is sending his way. The day after his non-date with Bucky, the girl had been insisting and asking to know everything about the person Steve went out with and trying to make him “spill the good details” like she said.

Right now, Steve just simply tries to avoid her questioning, he walks towards her and gives her a quick kiss on the temple and moves to the door ignoring her shouting, saying something about using protection, Steve just blushes on his way to his motorcycle.

Steve drives to the grocery store and buys as much as he can put in his backpack and heads home right away, the speed he’s driving is barely legal, right above the limit, he hears his mother’s voice on the back of his mind telling him to be careful and slows down a bit, luckily he arrives fifteen minutes before eight.

_Just in time._

***

After the five piercings guy, he tends a cheerleading squad of ten girls who all want to get belly button rings, he begins to get annoyed when they start shouting and giggling on the lobby, not to mention that his coworkers are not helping either, asking him questions and going in and out of his station making the brunet lose concentration.

His neck and back hurt for being hunched all day, also his shoulder is beginning to feel sore from all the pressure he’s been putting on it. He takes a few deep breaths and tries to get himself together, he’s seeing Steve tonight and he doesn’t want to ruin everything, _again_ , he expects to have a good evening watching movies with a friend, although the only thing that Bucky really wants right now is to jump on the man’s lap and kiss him stupid.

He hasn’t checked the time at all and when he walks out his last customer, he notices it’s getting dark by the second, he glances at the clock on the wall and it reads eight fifteen, _already?_

Walking fast to his working station, he pulls out his phone from his pocket and types a quick message to Steve, he cleans everything and carries the trash bag to the disposal containers on the back of the shop and heads over to unlock his bike.

 **Bucky:** I got caught up at work, sorry, I’ll be there in 10 min

He grabs his fixie and speeds up as fast as he can, he plants his feet on the pedals and his legs push downwards, his knuckles white on the handlebars and a big smile on his face, thank god he knows Steve’s neighborhood and hopefully he won’t have a problem finding his house.

***

Steve is starting to get nervous, wondering if Bucky is coming or not, it’s still pretty early and he doesn’t want to jump into conclusions and tries to keep himself occupied, he checks Netflix for new uploads, he sketches a few ideas for tattoos and goes outside to play with his four legged friend.

“Maybe he got lost?” he tells Captain as he tosses a chewed up ball for him to fetch, “he’s a cool guy, you’re going to like him”, the blond says but the dog isn’t even paying attention.

_Not to mention he’s really sexy._

To soothe Steve’s nerves, he gets a text from Bucky minutes later saying he’s running late but that he’ll definitely be there, Steve sighs deeply and goes back inside, “lets order some pizza, bud”, he says as he’s standing up.

The dog follows him inside and Steve calls for their food, when he hangs up the phone he goes back to the living room, he starts sketching again but he feels hot all of a sudden, he knows he’s blushing but he really can’t help it, he stands up and goes back to the kitchen to drink some cold water.

_Keep it cool, you’re a grown ass man, this is not highschool._

***

He gets to Steve’s driveway he gets off his bike and stares at it up and down, the house is perfect to Bucky’s eyes, a two story building made out of a tan brick with a wooden little front porch, the house is classic New York style, it probably has a tiny backyard with the view of the buildings behind it.

Bucky takes a deep breath and tries to comb his hair back into place with his fingers, his hands are shaky and sweaty and his hearth is beating fast against his chest, _get it together_. He starts moving again pushing his bike until he reaches the little stairs; he carries it up and places it against the wall before he goes to knock the door.

_Don’t be nervous, this is not a date, we’re just friends hanging out._

The brunet hears heavy footsteps and some movements inside, Bucky doesn’t get a chance to say hello because as soon as the man opens the door, he’s at the floor with a huge dog on top of him licking his face.

_Whoa!_

“I guess this is Captain!”, Bucky giggles placing his hands on the dog’s sides.

“C’mon Cap, don’t be rude”, Steve says trying to take the dog away from Bucky.

“Yeah Cap, at least buy me dinner first”, Bucky responds smiling as he tries to stand up, he immediately notices Steve is embarrassed when the color of his skin starts turning a dark shade of red.

_This man, I bet he helps old ladies cross the street and shit._

“Sorry about that”, Steve sighs heavily, “please, come in”, he takes a step to the side to let him walk inside.

“Don’t worry about it”, Steve waves a hand at him, “he’s really friendly”, Bucky comments with a smile on his face, Steve nods with a little smirk tugging up a corner of his lips.

***

Just what he needed, getting embarrassed by his own dog, Steve is still tomato red, apologizing for the thousand time for Cap’s behavior, but Bucky didn’t seemed to mind much since he’s already at the floor again petting Captain and Steve can’t take his eyes away from them. Bucky looks so peaceful, nothing like Steve has seen him before, he’s smiling at the dog as he pets him, his hands tender on the animal’s fur, Steve can see the guy’s piercings more clearly with this light, the couple of micro-dermals over his left cheekbone and his lip ring shines bright contrasting with his skin.

“I just ordered pizza”, Steve clears his throat trying to clear his mind.

“Awesome”, Bucky stands up and dusts off his knees.

“I ordered classic pepperoni, is that ok?” the blond wonders.

“Yes, that’s perfect”, Bucky nods enthusiastically.

“Okay, the movie collection is in that wall over there”, he points towards the fireplace, “pick something out and get yourself comfortable”, Steve smiles at him, “I’ll bring some snacks from the kitchen”, he offers.

“Need any help?” Bucky questions.

“Nah, I’m ok”, he shrugs, “what do you want to drink?” Steve says.

“What do you have?” Bucky asks before he starts walking towards the wall where the movies are meticulously placed on various shelves, he leans down slowly and places his right hand over his knee for support.

_Is he teasing me?_

_Don’t look at his ass, Rogers._

“Uumm...” Steve hums trying to make his tongue work again, Bucky turns around to look at him when there’s a knock on the door, “must be the pizza”, he rushes to the door covering his mouth.

_Crap, he totally saw me looking at his ass._

He sets the boxes on the coffee table in the middle of the living room and walks away to the kitchen trying to ignore Bucky’s eyes in case he wants to say something about him staring, “ okay, drinks”, he says.

***

Bucky is amazed by Steve’s movies and records collection _. Who collects this stuff anymore?_ He can’t help but glance back at Steve working in the kitchen, the man moving comfortably in his home, “I’ll have whatever you’re having”, he answers and Steve nods at him looking back over his shoulder.

Steve’s house has an open space where the living room is, the couch in the middle of the space and behind a big table with six chairs, to the right is a fire place with framed photos on top of it, the kitchen to the left, and further back the stairs and a little corridor to a few other doors that Bucky guesses are small rooms. The style is very classic Americana, lots of browns and blues, the furniture has a vintage vibe to it, very homey and welcoming, but the painting on the walls and the hardwood floor look recent.

He picks out a movie, Pet Sematary, _because it’s the fucking shit_ , and sits on the couch, it’s cozy and soft under him, he feels right at home. Steve comes back from the kitchen and places two glasses on the table of what seems to be some sort of iced tea, then he grabs the movie and walks towards the blue-ray to put it on.

“Good pick, this is one of my favorites”, Steve nods, “I know it’s kinda cheesy, and even though Stephen King wrote the script and directed the movie, the book is so much better”, he says.

_He’s such a nerd, how adorable._

“But hey, I forgot to tell you, if you want to watch something else that I don’t have in there we could check out Netflix”, Steve offers awkwardly looking down at his feet.

“You have that collection and Netflix? That’s nuts!” Bucky says surprised.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

“I try to watch a different movie a day”, Steve chuckles scratching the back of his neck.

“Seriously? That’s cool”, Bucky nods before he grabs a slice of pizza as he looks at Steve leaning down to fiddle with the blue-ray player.

This time, he doesn’t hold back from looking at Steve’s ass, and Bucky’s hands ache to touch him. Steve probably changed from what he was wearing at work, because he’s currently wearing a long sleeved Henley, _that is way_ _too tight, thank you Steve for making me flustered,_ and a pair of loose pants that hang from him perfectly, a bit low on the waist but they make his ass look amazing, although Bucky’s sure he’ll look better without it.

_This is torture. I’m a masochist, no doubt._

***

He glances back at Bucky as he goes to settle on the couch, the man is leaning back in the couch and he looks like a vision, his hair tousled framing his face, his gray-blue eyes attentive and his expression peaceful. Steve walks back towards him grabbing a slice of pizza from the table and gives it a big bite. He thinks Bucky was staring at him seconds ago but he knows he must be dreaming. _I wish._ He sits next to him and takes a deep sigh; he puts his hand on the back of the sofa unconsciously, and then freezes instantly.

_Holly shit, Steve, did you just do that?_

_Oh my god, there’s no turning back now._

_Help!_

Bucky doesn’t scoot away, the man doesn’t even seem to notice, and Steve starts relaxing slowly but his shoulder still feel tense. _I’m giving this thing way too much importance._

_Please, don’t think I’m weird, please._

***

He hasn’t felt this comfortable in a long time, chilling like he had nothing else to do, no responsibilities, no tension or bad thoughts in the back of his mind, just movies, food and good company. _Really, Bucky, you’re going to fall for him that easy?_

_That’s why jerks like Brock are always after you._

The movie just ended a few minutes ago, it was amazing to watch Steve laughing in all the right scenes, listening to his little comments about the practical effects and fun facts about popular culture references and watching the man giggle.

_I want to marry this man._

_Wait, what?_

They’re chilling on the couch, talking about the ending and the possibilities where the story could go, Steve mentions the sequel which Bucky hasn’t seen, _perhaps some other time_ , the blond stands up and starts moving to the kitchen and stops midway, “I’m going to make some coffee”, Steve says, “you want some, or do you want something else? I’ve got, soda, lemonade, beer, hot or iced tea, whatever you want”, he offers.

“Did you say beer? It’s like the non-alcoholic crap?” Bucky wonders with a smirk.

“It’s plain Blue Moon”, Steve shrugs his shoulder.

“Why do you have beer?” Bucky frowns in question. _Seriously._

“It’s for when friends come over, the fact that I don't drink doesn't mean I hate people that do”, Steve says plainly.

“You’re something else you know”, Bucky whispers.

_How are you even real?_

***

“You pick next”, Bucky tells him as he walks back into the living room with Bucky’s beer and his coffee.

“Hmm, ok”, he hums and leaves the stuff down on the coffee table and goes to pick a movie, “how about this one?” he shows Bucky the box of the 25th Anniversary Edition of the Evil Dead 2.

 “Sure, that’s a really good one, haven’t seen it in a while”, Bucky nods as he turns around to meet Steve’s eyes.

“I love the practical effects on this movie, I wish they used that kind of aesthetic more often, now they want to do everything with CGI, not that I’m against it but it’s not the same, I hope they don’t do a remake of this one, I don’t want them to screw such a great film”, Steve comments as he puts on the movie.

_Again with the mumbling, he probably thinks I’m a pretentious hipster._

“I know, right?” Bucky exclaims cheerfully with a smile on his face.

Steve smiles back as he takes his seat on the couch; he grabs his sketchbook from the coffee table next to him and opens a brand new page, his fingertips aching across the soft paper, he takes a deep breath as his fingers curl around the hard cover before he starts sketching away, looking up and down between the screen to his lap.

***

Bucky realized while watching the past movie that Steve is a total multi-tasker, they were speaking and watching the movie while he sketched, which was quite a spectacle to watch. He keeps staring at him from the corner of his eye and he sighs under his breath; Steve still has his sketchbook on his lap, fingers curled around a pencil and his hands moving in gentle strokes, Bucky wants to see what the man is drawing instead of the movie, but he doesn’t dare to ask, it could be something personal, like his own version of a diary.

Bucky keeps his eyes away from Steve’s sketchbook and tries to clear his head and pay attention to the movie. He leans back on the couch and rests his head against the cushions, feeling himself surprisingly comfortable next to a man he doesn’t even know.

***

Steve sketches while the movie plays in the background, a stern look with gray blue eyes and wrinkles around the corners, a cleft chin with stubble across the jaw, soft pink lips forming a tiny smirk, long strands of brown hair.

He puts his sketchbook away quickly trying to hide it from Bucky, _he’ll probably freak out_. Minutes pass and the movie keeps playing, the blond starts feeling tired all of the sudden, his eyes feeling itchy as he yawns loudly, he stretches out his arms behind his neck and sinks further into the couch.

Steve tries really hard to put his concentration back into the movie, he fails feeling both nervous and drowsy at the same time, he turns to the side and sees Bucky behind hooded eyelids, the brunet still has a peaceful look on his face, the metal of his piercings shiny against his skin, Bucky looks even younger like this, his expression soft as he takes in deep breaths, his hands carefully placed over his belly.

***

Bucky is aware it’s getting late, but he doesn’t want to leave yet, he’s at ease and rested. Minutes ago, Steve borrowed him a blanket and he wrapped it around his legs, he thinks about lifting the blanket, putting on his jacket and riding his bike back home, the cold air creeping up his back and into core of his bones, his brace not doing much to his shoulder.

 _Noup, that can wait_.

Besides, he feels his eyelids really heavy; he really doesn’t want to fall asleep, in a stranger’s house, sure the man is gorgeous and Bucky is starting to think that Steve won’t even hurt a fly, but they barely know each other, but then again, he’s sure that the blond won’t mind him taking a little nap before he heads home.

_This couch it’s just so comfy, it’s like a big comfy couch._

He starts dosing off to the movie in the background, closing his eyes slowly and trying to open them again, his breathing becomes steady and heavy, the cushions under his head giving him the perfect support and comfort, and then he finally falls asleep.

***

Steve wakes up to the sounds of a ringtone that isn’t his, he smiles to himself because it’s the X-Files theme song, which is pretty cool but he’s sure he never changed it. He opens his eyes slowly and for a second he forgets where he is, but then he registers his surroundings as Captain walks towards him and licks Steve’s fingers when the blond stretches his hand, he’s in the living room, his living room.

_How did that happen?_

He sits down and looks to his left, on the other side of his L-shaped couch, he sees the man lying on his side, mouth slightly open and drooling on the couch, the brunet’s hair disheveled and covering half of his face, an arm folded next to his face and the other stretched over his body, the blanket draped over him.

_Am I dreaming?_

_He’s beautiful._

He stands quickly and goes to grab Bucky’s phone from the table in the middle of the living room without looking at the screen to see the caller. He pats Bucky on the shoulder as kindly as he can to try to wake him up, the man’s body warm under Steve’s fingers.

_I don’t want to wake him up though._

Steve stares down at him and carefully trying not to disturb the other man, he pushes Bucky’s hair away from his face, it’s probably creepy and a bit disturbing since the man is sleeping and he’ll probably freak out if he was awake, but Steve means no harm, he tries to be gentle and brushes his long locks before he retrives his hand and clears his throat.

“Bucky”, he whispers and the brunet grunts softly, “hey, Bucky”, he shakes him a bit, “Bucky, wake up, you have a call”, he says a bit louder; the phone won’t stop ringing in his hand.

***

He hears a gentle voice on the back of his mind, he’s not sure if he’s dreaming or not, but then there’s a louder noise and a pat on his shoulder, a gentle and warm touch, Bucky makes a displeased sound but he starts opening his eyes slowly.

Bucky’s realizes he’s drooling in a couch that isn’t his, he’s a bit disoriented and confused since he doesn’t remember falling asleep, he should be scared because he’s clearly not in his apartment, how can he do that when he wakes up to something brighter than the sun?

_Oh, what a view._

He notices Steve’s holding his phone and the annoying thing is ringing, Bucky takes it from his hand gently giving, the man nods once and Bucky gives him a small sleepy smile, Steve turns around to give him some privacy as the brunet sits down, he picks up without seeing who was calling so early in the morning.

“Yeah?” he answers.

“Bucky, can you come over? As quickly as possible?” It’s Tony Stark, Bucky tries hardly not to huff and fails, releasing a deep sigh.

“Ummm, sure”, he says not convinced, “I’ll be there in a bit”, Bucky adds rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

***

Steve leaves Bucky to answer his call and walks to the kitchen to makes some coffee and maybe some nice breakfast, Captain following him around happily.

Listening to Bucky’s muffled voice in the background makes him smile while he looks down at the coffee machine, he starts pressing buttons to set it as he remembers the brunet peacefully sleeping on Steve’s couch, his fingers on Bucky’s soft hair and the warmness of his body when he patted his shoulder.

He turns around to see Bucky walking into his kitchen with a smile on his face, Steve knows his cheeks are blushing, he thinks for a moments that he’s about to break the cup he’s holding. Then he feels small all of a sudden looking down at the floor, his bare feet against the wooden floor, his loose pants on his legs and his old Henley shirt on his chest, he’s awkwardly standing in the middle of his kitchen with a huge bedhead and Bucky is there to see it all, the man that looks gorgeous even with his hair sticking in different directions.

***

He hangs up and walks into the kitchen to find Steve standing in the middle of it looking down at his feet, Steve has a weird expression on his face and Bucky really wants to make it go away, to make him smile again. The blond offers the cup he’s holding and Bucky takes it from his hand and nods at him.

Bucky can’t believe the man in front of him, he’s sure that staring at him is probably rude but he can’t help it, not when Steve looks adorable with his messy hair and bright blue eyes wide open.

“You want some breakfast?” Steve offers with a smile.

_Yes, yes, yes._

_I want to have all the breakfasts with you for the rest of my life._

Bucky wants to say yes as soon as those words came out of Steve’s mouth, sadly he knows he can’t stay, “I’m sorry, Steve, I really have to go”, he says.

“It’s okay, I totally get it”, Steve nods and Bucky doesn’t know how to read the expression on the blond’s face, _maybe a bit sad?_

***

“Let’s rain check on that, yeah?” Bucky smiles behind the cup before he takes a sip of coffee.

“Sure, don’t worry about it”, He says to hide the happiness on his voice from the idea of eating breakfast with this man in some time in the future.

He feels sad for Bucky having to leave so early, Steve’s not sure why but he’s nobody to ask, he wants to kick himself for falling asleep on the couch, but what’s done is done.

Steve walks Bucky to the front door, says goodbye quickly and waves his hand at him, as Bucky hops on his bike, the blond waves back over his shoulder and drives away. Steve closes the door slowly and rests his forehead against on the cold wood, he sighs loudly before he goes back into the empty kitchen.

This is going to be a long day.

***

He rides his bike as fast as he can to Stark Tower, it’s a long way but he needs to keep his muscles activated, he slept on his jeans and his legs feel a bit stiff. Once he gets to the building, he says hi to everyone and goes straight to Tony’s lab.

“You want some breakfast catered over? You look like you could eat”, Tony comments with a chuckle.

“Please!” Bucky whines, “I’m starving”, he chuckles.

Bucky is grateful for Tony’s offering, and also thankful he didn’t see Tony the day before, he doesn’t want to deal with the teasing of wearing the same clothes two days in a row. He sighs happily to himself and gets his head back to work with a big smile on his face.

He spent the night at Steve’s _._


	13. Chapter 13

Steve is arriving at the Red Room on a Wednesday night when his phone rings and vibrates inside his gym bag, he opens the zipper and as he looks at the caller ID a wide smile spreads on his lips, he notices it’s Bucky, just the man he was thinking about.

“Hey, Buck”, he says happily, trying to sound casual.

“Hi, how are ya’?” the guy questions.

“I’m okay, you?” Steve answers.

“Great”, Bucky hums, “I wanted to know if you’re doing anything next Saturday?” the brunet asks and Steve is sure he’s grinning like a mad man.

“Nothing planed”, Steve answers with blushed cheeks.

_I want to do you though._

“We’re going to be playing so I just wanted to let you know”, Bucky comments, “you know, in case you wanna go or whatever”, he says.

“I’ll be there!” Steve says cheerfully.

_Did I say that way too fast?_

“Sweet, great, I’ll see you Saturday then”, Bucky adds, Steve could swear that Bucky’s tone got a tad bit higher but he might be imagining things.

_Sadly, until Saturday._

“Yes, I’m looking forward to it”, Steve hums as he walks into the place.

“Talk to you later”, Bucky says.

“Okidokie”, the blond nods.

“Buh’ bye”, he hears Bucky laughing before he hangs up.

_Okidokie, really? What are you, five years old?_

Steve goes directly to the lockers and changes into his workout clothes, then walks towards the training area to stretch out and get ready for his session. He’s awfully excited because Bucky called him to invite him personally, but apparently his expression is not as neutral as he though.

“What’s with that thing on your face?” Natasha wonders as she approaches.

“What thing?” he frowns and runs a hand over his chin.

“Your smile is about to split your face in two”, she lifts her eyebrows at him.

“Well, can’t I be happy?” Steve wonders chuckling as he ducks down to tie his shoelace properly.

“Of course you can but that face means something else”, she comments with a smirk looking down at him.

 _Damn her for being so perceptive_.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, Steve shrugs.

“You’re an awful liar, Rogers”, she shakes her head, “does this have something to do with James?” the redhead says teasingly.

“I uuhh, you know…” he shrugs awkwardly as he mumbles, “maybe?” he gives her a toothy smile before he turns around trying to ignore her stare.

“I’m guessing you’re going to the show this weekend, right?” she questions following him to the treadmill.

“How come you know everything?” Steve wonders stepping onto the apparatus to start walking.

“I don’t, I just act like I do”, Natasha smiles, “I’m glad you’re going”, she comments nodding her head.

Steve sets up a calm speed to start smoothly, legs stretching across the electric band under him, pushing his feet forward, left and right, left and right, looking down at the floor until he looks up at her again, Natasha’s words echoing in his brain.

“Yeah? Why is that?” He asks.

“You’re my friend, I like hanging out with you”, she says in a sarcastic tone but Steve knows her well by now to realize she actually means it.

“Yes, everyone is gonna be there”, Steve continues to walk picking up a faster pace after Natasha pushed down the speed button.

“Yes, James is going to be there”, Natasha chuckles, “now get your ass to work”, she gives him a slight punch on his bicep before she walks away, leaving Steve with a goofy smile on his face.

***

He’s at Dum Dum’s for band practice; he just called Steve to let him know about their next gig, and the blond’s voice rings on the back of his mind.

_He called me Buck, he called me Buck. I’m dying, keep it cool._

“Uuuhhhhh, who you talking to?” Gabe says in a teasing tone.

“Look at that shade of pink on his cheeks, priceless”, Monty says with his thick British accent.

“It was just a friend”, Bucky defends himself.

 _Although_ _I wish he was more than that._

“What friend? All of your friends are here”, Gabe points out.

“Nahh, he’s starting to hang out with Clint, Sam and Steve”, Dum Dum comments.

“You were talking to Roger’s then?” Monty questions.

“Yes”, Bucky answers not looking up from where he was putting away his guitar.

“Uuuuhh”, Gabe teases again.

“Nah, I think he’s straight”, Bucky protests sadly.

_And so not interested in me._

“Yeah, he probably is, Steve’s last girlfriend was a total babe”, Gabe says.

“One fine gal”, Dum Dum confirms nodding.

“A total 10”, Monty adds.

_I’m also a ten, right?_

“She was one of the guys”, the man with the thick mustache sighs, “very funny and good looking”, he smiles.

“Beautiful inside and out”, Gabe says looking down at his bass guitar on his lap.

“An amazing dame”, Monty hums as he strums the chords on his guitar lazily.

“Peggy, what a girl”, Dum Dum swirls the drumsticks around his fingers.

“Why would Steve let her slip away?” Gabe wondered.

_Enough please!_

“Did they date for a long time?” Bucky finally asks, feeling the anger build up inside him, he’s huffing now, his hands curled into fists to his sides.

“For about a year, I think”, Dum Dum replies.

And with that Bucky, decides it was time to leave before he burst out screaming at them to shut up, he doesn’t want to hear any of this, he’s not even Steve’s friend, _at least not yet_ , he tries really hard not to get jealous of someone he doesn’t even know.

***

Saturday couldn’t come any sooner, Steve has been waiting for this day impatiently since the moment that Bucky called to invite him. The day was quite busy at the shop but his shift ended early, at least it gave him enough time to go back home, take Captain out for a run, eat a proper meal, take a much needed shower, and finally head to HYDRA.

When he arrives at the dungy looking place, Alexander Pierce, the owner of the establishment, greets him at the door with a stretched hand and a devilish smile that makes Steve uncomfortable.

“Steven, hello,” the older man says, Steve tries not to get worked up at the man’s tone, nobody calls him Steven but his mother and a few other close friends, he’s not having it from this man, “I’m Alexander Pierce”, he says as he stretches his hand.

“Steve Rogers, sir”, he introduces himself shaking the man’s hand, Alex’s grip is tight but Steve’s is tighter, the blond makes emphasis on the ‘Steve’, not Steven, he takes Alexander’s hand and shakes it firm and quick.

“No need to call me sir, it makes me feel so old, just Alex”, he chuckles and Steve gives him an awkward smile, “it’s a surprise to see you here at HYDRA, it’d be great if you became an esteemed patron of our humble establishment”, Alexander nods.

_Ok, that is just weird._

“Thank you, just Alex”, Steve says with a toothy grin as the little shit he is.

“Rumlow and the boys speak very highly of you”, the man comments.

_Yeah, I bet._

“Thanks, I guess”, Steve tries really hard not to roll his eyes.

“Now, if you excuse me, Steve”, Alex nods, Steve feels a bit better that this time he called him Steve, “enjoy yourself tonight”, he says before walking away to the door in the back that appeared to be the administration office.

_What an odd person._

He enters the bar and goes straight to the back room where the show is about to start, loud noises coming from the speakers letting him now that the band is setting up their stuff. He sees the Howling Commandos getting ready to play, strumming guitars and plugging things, he approaches Bucky to where he’s down on the floor handling and trying to untangle some chords.

***

Bucky looks up to see Steve walking into the room, the man is wearing an olive green utility jacket over a black sweater, plain dark wash jeans and his brown motorcycle boots tucked under his pants, his hair perfectly combed to the side looking shiny and silky, he looks like a vision and Bucky’s mouth begins to pool with saliva, the blond is walking straight towards him with a smile on his face.

 _Uggh,_ _that smile, is it Christmas already?_

“Hey”, he says to him.

Bucky’s having problem to make his tongue move, Steve walks past him to say hello to the rest of the band, shaking hands and patting backs, then he walks back and ducks to grab a chord to help him.

“Hi”, Bucky says finally, “I’m glad you could make it”, he’s glad the lights around them are dim and low and Steve won’t be able to see the blush on his cheeks.

“Yeah, me too”, the blond nods.

“I hope you enjoy the show”, Bucky says awkwardly avoiding eye contact with the guy.

“I plan to”, Steve says and when Bucky looks up, the man is offering a small smile as he hands him the chord back untangled, “good luck, I’m going to be here up front with Sam and Clint”, he stands up and dusts off his knees.

“Thanks”, Bucky whispers before Steve walks away.

***

Steve goes to join his friends where they’re standing near the front on the left side of the room, he says hello to his friends, Sam looks annoyed and Natasha and Clint are holding hands, which make Steve smile wide.

“Steve, hold my hand”, Sam demands.

“Uum sure…why?” he wonders, “What’s going on?” Steve says grabbing Sam’s hand.

“I don’t want to be the third wheel anymore”, Sam whines with a fake cry.

“Aww, poor thing”, Natasha says sarcastically.

“HA-HA-HA, very funny Sam”, Clint adds rolling his eyes.

“I know I don’t look like Johnny Depp’s Cry Baby over there but I’m pretty good looking”, Sam nods his head in direction to the stage before he elbows Steve’s arm.

_Don’t blush Steve, don’t blush._

“If only you weren’t straighter than Clint’s arrows”, Steve smirks.

“If only you looked prettier in a dress”, Sam takes his hand close to his chest and taps it twice before he lets it go, “our love cannot be, at least not in this life”, his friend giggles.

“I’ll save a date for the next one”, Steve remarks with a wink.

More loud noises announce them that the band is about to start; Steve stands next to his friends looking up at the stage as the Howling Commandos begin to play. The brunet looks beautiful under those spotlights, he knows Bucky will look beautiful under anything really, Steve stares at him for a moment, that messy hair of his, the shiny micro-dermals and piercing, the impressive artwork on his arm, his old Converge t-shirt, tight skinny jeans, black Converse sneakers and the guitar hanging from the strap across his chest.

“Hello, we’re the Howling Commandoes, thanks for being here” Bucky says plainly into the microphone before the band starts playing.

Steve is trying really hard to keep his eyes on Bucky’s face and not the rest of his body as he dances and thrashes on the stage, how the brunet pushes his hips forward and his head back exposing his neck, his eyes slightly closed as he strums his guitar fast and loud. Steve tries really hard to fight back a boner, _think of something else! Look at his face, he’s your friend, get a grip._

***

Bucky doesn't take his shirt off this time, he doesn’t have his shoulder brace and everyone will be able to see his scars, Steve will be able to see his scars, to be exact. He spots Steve in the audience, right up front where he said he’ll be, he gets pushed back a bit when the people start the mosh-pit, dancing aggressively at the rhythm of the music and from side to side of the place, either way he’s there in front of him, Bucky tries not to stare at him the whole time they’re playing and keep his concentration on the music.

_Don’t make it awkward._

Their set ends nicely but way to quickly, a lot of people showed up early today to show them support and he is grateful for it; they’ve been having a lot of success lately selling band merch and getting a lot of hits on their YouTube videos, likes on the Facebook page and follows on Instagram.

Bucky walks back to Natasha but then he’s left alone with Steve, Sam’s nowhere to be seen, the next band start to set up their stuff and there’s a silence stretching across them, Bucky doesn’t what to make the situation awkward and clears his throat carefully since it’s a bit raspy from all the screaming and singing he just did.

“So, what do you think? Did you like our set?” he wonders awkwardly sucking his lips piercing into his mouth.

“Absolutely, it was awesome”, Steve nods with a big smile, then something weird happens inside the blond’s head that Bucky can almost hear the gears working inside, Steve’s expression changes into something more neutral before he speaks again, “you guys did great, I like how energetic you get, it seems like you really enjoy what you’re doing, it’s pretty cool”, the guy comments.

“Thanks, I appreciate that”, Bucky smirks back.

He comes back to where Steve and his friends are standing.

The band up there is not Bucky’s cup of tea, and he’s starting to feel hot in that small and crowded room, not to mention the people giving him dirty looks across the room are making him uncomfortable, he needs to get out of there.

“I don’t really like the band that’s performing next”, Bucky sighs, I’m going outside to smoke, I don’t know if you want to join me”, he says, “just for company, I guess”, the brunet shrugs.

***

“Sure”, Steve answers plainly, trying to keep his tone under control, not like when Bucky asked him if he liked their set, which Steve ended up nodding like an idiot.

The blond feels a little clustered and needs to get some air, he’s glad that Bucky suggested going outside so he follows him to the door. _Yeah right, clustered._

There are quite a few people in the room, they move around them and Steve tries to avoid eye contact with anyone when he feels unsettling stares on him, one of the main reasons he never comes here in the first place, but tonight Bucky’s worth it.

As they are walking from the stage room to the bar area, he notices Brock on the corner yelling and laughing out loud along with his friends. Luckily, Brock ignores him and doesn’t try to say hi to him, Steve could just pretend he doesn’t know him but he’s not trying to be rude to anyone, it’s not like the man has ever done something to him but Steve is aware he’s not so innocent either. Bucky doesn’t stop for anything or anyone, the brunet goes straight to the front door and out.

When they’re outside Bucky seems unsettled and a bit anxious, Steve wants to ask why but he doesn’t know how, he just sighs and leans back against the wall behind him running a hand through his hair.

“Uuggh, I needed some air”, Steve comments in lack of something else to say.

***

When he’s going trough the lobby, with Steve by his side, he sees Brock and the other guys, he looks at him right in the eye and Bucky just ignores him, he keeps walking away and closes his eyes when he reaches the door, the cold air of the evening hitting his face, making his bones shiver a bit.

For a moment there, he thought Brock was going to get close to say hello to Steve, but that didn’t happen and he’s happy for it, Bucky’s not sure if the blond was ignoring the guy or perhaps he didn’t see him, he doesn’t know, it doesn’t matter.

As soon as they’re outside he notices Steve is looking at him with confusion, Bucky hoped he wouldn’t ask him why, thankfully he doesn’t, he just makes a comment about getting fresh air and Bucky sighs in relief.

He takes out the pack of cigarettes and stares at it, he’s been trying to quit for the longest time and he was doing so well until he started seeing Brock around again. Bucky doesn’t want to bother Steve with the smoke, his fingers itch a bit and his lips feel dry but he puts the little box back inside his pocket and tries to forget about it.

“Yeah, it’s a bit crowded in there”, Bucky says finally, “why didn’t you say hi to Brock?”  He wonders curiously.

***

Steve frowns at Bucky’s question, he wasn’t even aware they knew each other, “he was really far away”, he shrugs, “is he your friend or something?”, Steve questions trying not to sound bitter, he wants to kick himself for adding the _something_ at the end of the question, he really shouldn’t pry into Bucky’s life.

“Fuck no”, Bucky huffs, Steve’s a bit surprised by the boldness of Bucky’s tone and he wonders what got him so worked up.

“I see”, he adds awkwardly, “well, I really try to avoid talking to him, he gets on my nerves sometimes”, Steve comments with a sigh.

“How come? Aren’t you guys friends?” Bucky asks surprised.

“I wouldn't call him my friend, he’s in the scene so he’s an acquaintance, we have friends in common and he’s a client at the shop, but aside from that I find the guy to be kind of rude”, Steve frowns.

_Why would he think I’m friends with that asshole?_

Bucky seems to relax with that answer, and Steve doesn’t know what to think about it. The brunet leans back against the wall too, taking the spot next to Steve; their shoulders are so close that Steve can feel the brunet’s body heat. They fall into a comfortable silence for the first time, it feels nice, they don’t say a thing, the couple just stares at the street in front of them, cars passing by, people walking in the cold air and the moon bright above their heads.

***

Steve tells him he’s not friends with Brock and apparently never has been, now it all makes sense, Bucky just saw Steve talking to him in the wrong circumstances; it’s inevitable to feel like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

“C’mon, let’s go back inside”, he pats Steve’s shoulder smiling at him, the blond nods and follows him into the place.

Bucky hasn’t been happier to be wrong in his whole life.


	14. Chapter 14

For some reason, Steve feels like he hasn’t spent a lot of time with his friends lately, Clint and Sam are two people he appreciates for having in his life, and even though they might not see each other every day, their friendship doesn’t change, they just get together and pick up where they left off.

They decide to get together at Sam and Clint’s apartment on a Sunday afternoon and Steve agrees to have a “cheat day” and eat as many hot dogs as he physically can, and just have a good afternoon overall.

Steve thinks he should bake something for dessert, the guys will like that. The idea turns into a fact and gets himself to work early in the morning; he slices green apples, smothers them with cinnamon and butter for his classic pie recipe.

_I missed baking. I’m such a grandma._

Hours later into the day, he gets to his friend’s apartment around two o’ clock, Steve had to take the bus because he didn’t want to ruin the pie, he doesn’t mind though, he needed to stretch his legs anyway.

When he arrives, Clint and Sam are watching football, he places the pie in the kitchen since it’s still a bit lukewarm, Steve feels his stomach growl, and he’s definitely ready for some grub and luckily his friends have that covered, all the ingredients for their meal sitting on the small kitchen counter waiting for them.

***

Bucky wakes up to the sound of someone yelling in the living room, he stretches lazily before he rolls out of bed wrapping a blanket around his body. When he’s out in the living room, he notices Natasha is watching some football game, she’s sitting at the edge of the couch shouting at the players frantically and he couldn’t care less.

He falls into the couch next to Natasha, the redhead leans back and starts pulling Bucky’s blanket to cover her legs, Bucky chuckles as he tries to move and share the piece of fabric with her, he feels like he hasn’t talked to her in a long time even though they live together.

“Where’s Clint? And how come you aren’t tied to the hip yet?” he wonders with a smirk.

“He’s with Sam and Steve, they’re having a boys day” she says without taking her eyes away from the TV.

“Hmmm, I see”, he hums casually.

“I’m surprised you didn’t go”, she comments.

“Guess I’m not part of the boys yet”, Bucky says trying not to sound sad.

“Lets hang out here today, I miss you”, Natasha offers nudging at his arm.

“Me too”, he sighs, “we should order some pizza”, Bucky says standing up.

***

“How about you and Natasha? How’s it going?” Steve asks after he swallows down a mouthful.

“We’re doing good, we don’t see each other that often cause of work and shit but we talk on the phone and text, I’m really happy”, Clint beams as he speaks.

“Ooh, look at him getting all red, so cute”, Sam teases.

“What about you Sam?” Steve wonders with a smirk.

“What about me?” the man shrugs.

“You seeing someone?” he asks.

“You could say that”, Sam nods.

“What, for real?” Clint exclaims excitedly, “we live together and you didn’t tell me?” The guy pouts.

“It’s not anything serious, we’re just fooling around”, he explains before he bites the hotdog he’s holding.

“Be careful with that”, Steve says.

“Who is it?” Clint demands.

“I’m not going tell you!” Sam chuckles.

“What a party pooper”, Clint adds pointing at his friend with a Cheeto.

As the game comes to an end, Steve and Sam grab the plates and glasses from the coffee table to go clean them up, leaving Clint behind in the living room. Steve offers to wash the dishes; there are no protests against that as Sam leans on the counter.

“How’s The Nest going?” Steve questions.

The Nest is Sam and Clint’s courier business and bicycle delivery service, they started it a couple of years ago as a joke, Clint used to work delivering pizzas and he knew his way around the neighborhood and all the right short cuts. Sam and Clint were always riding their bikes anywhere so why don’t make money while doing so, and The Nest was formed.

“It’s going pretty good actually, we’re expanding area, we’ve got like three new employees and a better insurance plan”, Sam explains nodding.

“I’m really proud of you guys”, Steve smiles.

“I’m just happy I’m not the one making the deliveries anymore”, Clint says as he walks into the kitchen with the empty bottles of beer, “that way I don’t need to cover my face with band aids anymore”, he chuckles.

“That’s only because you’re so reckless”, Sam giggles, “besides, you still work at the shooting range, you might not have band aids on your face but what about your fingers?” he says.

“Whatever, Wilson!” Clint gives him a slight punch on the shoulder and Steve laughs as Sam tries to get away from him.

***

They settle on the couch comfortably, eating their food and talking, just like old times, they both had been so busy lately they haven’t had much free time to share. But no matter what, he knows that Natasha is always there for him and vice versa.

“So, what’s going on with our business?” Bucky asks nonchalantly.

“It’s doing great, I would very much appreciate if you would go once in a while”, she suggests.

“You’re right, I should start going once in a while”, he nods in agreement.

_Just to see Steve, not to exercise, of course._

“I’m planning on doing some renovations soon, and I want to replace some machines, maybe hire more crossfit instructors since it’s getting pretty popular”, she comments.

“You should also think about improving the webpage and social media”, he says.

“I’m actually on that, Clint is helping with the page”, Natasha shrugs.

“Ohhh, that’s nice”, he hums.

“How’s it going at Stark Industries?” she wonders.

“I’m very happy, it feels right you know?” he nods before he takes a big bite of his slice of pizza, “I found something I can be passionate about and I’m spending more time at the office instead of just getting random calls, I even started decorating it and shit”, Bucky says cheerfully over a mouthful.

“Really?” she smiles.

“Well, I left some copies of my dictionaries and reference books too and just some stuff to lighten the mood of the office”, he chuckles.

“I’ll get you some colorful office supplies later, maybe something pink with flowers on it”, the redhead offers with a smirk.

“HA-HA, really funny Natalia”, he says sarcastically, “I’m gay, not a 5 year old”, he chuckles warmly.

***

“How’s the tattoo shop going?” Sam asks Steve as Clint is setting up the PS4 back in the living room.

“How does this thing work?” Clint exclaims.

“It’s going good, we’re a bit understaffed but we manage”, Steve shrugs.

“Can’t we call a technician?” Clint whines.

“Why’s that?” Sam wonders ignoring Clint’s fake crying.

“Loki’s our main piercer but he’s also our walk-in tattoo artist for most days but sometimes he can’t do both things, it gets a bit hectic sometimes”, Steve explains.

Clint stands up and backs away from the TV, “I think I managed it!” he says to no one in particular.

“You’re getting along with Bucky better right? He’s a piercer”, Sam suggests with a smirk.

“It’s the auxiliary on the remote right?” Clint asks.

“Nat, says he’s really talented but we’re not at the point where I can ask him to work at the shop yet, besides I think he’s starting to work more at Stark’s”, Steve sighs sadly.

_I would love to see him all day at the shop._

The TV turns on and the game module starts, the console humming to life. “Nailed it!” Clint yells smiling.

“The two of you are getting along better, right?” Sam wonders.

“Yeah, you guys are spending a lot of time together”, Clint comments finally joining their conversation.

“Are you dating?” Sam asks narrowing his eyes at him.

_Pfff, I wish._

“Woah, woah, 20 questions much?” Steve chuckles trying to avoid blushing, “we’re not dating, we went for coffee and he came over to watch movies the other day, we hanged out and that was it”, Steve tries to sound casual.

“What changed that, because I remember him thinking you were weird”, Clint asks.

“He told you that?” he asks defensively, “I think it was after I found Monty being beat up by some guys”, Steve remembers.

“What?!” Sam asks surprised.

“That’s why he was all hurt the other day!” Clint nods in understanding.

“Yes, I took him to the hospital and then I talked to Bucky, and he just started acting different towards me”, Steve shrugs.

“Don’t you think that’s weird?” Sam frowns, “are you upset that you’re now friends?” Sam wonders staring at Steve with a serious look on his face.

“Not really, I seriously don’t know what to think about it”, Steve sighs deeply.

_I wish we were something more._

***

“What’s going on with Steve?” she asks before taking a sip or her beer.

“Huh? Give me a slice of that, that’s my favorite pizza topping, what’s your favorite?” He says trying to avoid the conversation.

_I don’t want to talk about this._

_She’ll kill me if she finds out._

“Like, what are you doing? I thought you didn’t like him”, Natasha comments.

“We’re friends hanging out”, he answers plainly, “you haven’t said what your favorite pizza topping is”, he singsongs at her.

“You know what it is”, Natasha says narrowing her eyes at him, “don’t change the subject”, the girl demands.

“No, I don’t, tell me”, he chuckles awkwardly.

“James, I just want you to be okay”, she sighs deeply.

“I appreciate your concern, I’m okay, I swear”, he nods.

“Promise me you’ll be careful”, she whispers placing a hand over his knee.

“You know me too well”, he chuckles warmly patting the top of her hand.

He doesn’t tell her he likes him, _like really really like him_ , or that he fell asleep on Steve’s couch the other night although Bucky’s sure she knows about that. Bucky is sure that if he keeps talking about Steve she will find out his true intentions and he doesn’t need her preaching him about it.

_Change the subject, talk about Clint, or whatever, anything!_

***

“Uhm, so what did you guys think about the pie? Turned out good right?” Steve tries to change the subject again.

_Talk about the pie, talk about your bikes or something._

“Yeah, it was really good Steve”, Sam waves his hand at him.

“Delicious”, Clint hums.

His friends know him too well to ask anything he doesn’t want to answer, they must have noticed that Steve was avoiding talking about Bucky, he’s glad they’re not pushing him to do so, “I want to get some new displays for the shop, maybe some paintings”, Steve mentions to start a conversation.

“Why don’t you hang some of your own?” Sam suggests.

“My paintings?” Steve wonders.

“You could even start selling them there, make it like a gallery or some shit”, Clint smirks.

“That’s a good idea”, Steve nods, “we’ve been having so many clients lately, I’m booked for another 3 months”, he informs with a smile.

“Really? And you’re taking walk- ins anyway?” Sam says with wide eyes.

“Well, walk-ins are usually people who want to get really small things, or touch ups, an hour tops, you don’t need an appointment for that if you’re willing to wait”, Steve explains.

“Can I walk in for a touch up?” Clint asks curiously.

“Yeah, sure”, Steve shrugs.

“Why the increase, are you doing something different?” Sam questions.

“Tony mentioned the shop in an interview a while ago”, Steve comments with a chuckle, “I think that was it”, he says.

“Oh man, we’ve got to ask him to mention us!” Clint cheers.

***

“So, the other day Brock came to the shop”, Bucky mentions.

_Changing the subject, yes!_

“What?” She questions turning her head back to him to meet his eyes.

“He wanted to talk to me so he invited me for lunch”, the brunet explains.

“And you agreed?” Natasha asks furiously.

“I wanted to get him off my back, Natalia”, he remarks.

“Ok, what happened?” she asks, her tone a bit more subtle.

“He said he wanted me back, something serious”, Bucky shakes his head, “I hesitated, I really thought maybe he was being sincere, but he gave himself away so I stood up and left him there”, he smiles wide.

“I’m proud of you”, she says honestly.

“Thanks, I’m kind of let down by the fact that I hesitated a bit”, he pouts.

_And to think I was whiling to say yes to that asshole._

“That’s normal”, Natasha offers a small smile, she knows if this had happened months back, Bucky would have taken Brock back, and now that he thinks about it Bucky wants to vomit, “you deserve better”, she nods.

“Thanks”, he bumps his shoulder against hers.

***

They wrap up the day at Clint and Sam’s around eight p.m. because everyone has to get up early the next day. Steve gets back to his house and goes to the back to retrieve Captain and take him out for his late walk. He feels at peace with himself, he’s grateful for what he has, he wonders what his mother will think about Bucky.

Steve walks along his four legged friend in the cold air of the night, the neighborhood peaceful around them, he lets the dog walk around without a leash comfortably, he watches him close in case the dog decides to eat something he shouldn’t. When they get back after their half an hour long walk, Captain goes straight to his food and water and Steve goes to the upper floor to take a quick shower.

As soon as he’s out, fresh and clean, he shifts over to his bed and sits with his sketchbook on his lap and a pencil in hand, he stays like that for a long moment until he realizes he started drawing Bucky again, he wonders what Bucky did today, he lets out a loud and painful sigh as he settles down to sleep.

_Shit, I got it bad._

***

He gets up to take the beer bottles to the trashcan as Natasha goes to the bathroom to shower. Bucky washes the few dirty dishes and lets them dry for a bit, he’s placing them back on the counter when Natasha comes back, peeking her head into the kitchen, her long strands of red hair wet and her face makeup free making her look way younger.

“Goodnight!” she announces before walking away again.

The brunet walks to his room and sits on his bed with a book on his lap, _Gone Girl_ ; he reads for a bit until his mind drifts back to Steve. He puts away the book and turns off the light on his nightstand.

_I’m going crazy, this is all Natasha’s fault!_

He falls asleep faster than ever, thinking about the smile on Steve’s face that makes him feel warm inside.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It’s a chilly Tuesday morning, the previous day passes in a blur and Bucky hasn’t heard anything from Steve since the day he left his house in the morning, Bucky wanted desperately to stay and have breakfast with him, stare back at those wide shoulder as he moved in the kitchen cooking their meals, but none of that happened, he just hopes he gets a chance to do it in the near future.

Currently, he’s at his office in Stark Tower working on a translation of the company’s PR manuscript, there’s music coming out form the speakers of his computer, but seconds after, he frowns when his cellphone starts ringing and cutting the music.

“Hello?” he answers.

“Bucky!” The other person in the line says cheerfully, he find himself smiling wide at her sister’s tone.

He kicks himself internally because he was supposed to call her last night, “Hi Becky”, he greets her.

“I though you were gonna call last night!” she exclaims.

“I was but I totally forgot”, he confesses, “I’m sorry”, he sighs.

“It’s fine, we’re talking now”, she giggles, “how’ve you been? Where are you?” his sister asks.

“I’m okay, I’m at Stark’s”, he says putting down the pen he was holding against his mouth.

“Oooh nice”, she hums, “hey, the reason why I called you”, the girl starts but when she doesn’t continue Bucky speaks again.

“Yeah?” he wonders.

“I’m going to New York in a week!” she says loudly.

“For real? That’s awesome!” he cheers happily.

“Can I crash at your place?” Rebecca questions.

“Are you kidding? You have to, I won’t let you stay at a hotel, no way, you are definitely staying at our place”, he decides.

“I’m so excited, I miss you so much!” she comments, her tone warm and loving.

“Same here kiddo”, he nods even though she can’t see him, “I’ll tell Nat you’re coming over, she’ll be very excited to see you”, he adds.

“Yeah, she promised she’d go shopping with me next time I visited”, she comments.

“She’s got a boyfriend now so you better text her to remind her”, Bucky informs.

“What? I’m missing out on so much stuff”, the younger girl sighs deeply, “well, I’ll leave you to work”, Becky says.

“Ok, I’ll talk to you later”, Bucky singsongs.

“Okay, bye!” Rebecca says and with that Bucky hangs up his phone smiling at it.

_This should be interesting._

***

Steve gets to the shop in the morning at ten sharp and Darcy is not there, she is not exactly late but she’s always there before him. The girl arrives about fifteen minutes later looking like she hadn’t slept much, Steve doesn’t think something happened to her since she doesn’t look awful but she has bags under her eyes and her hair is up into a messy bun on the contrary as she usually wears it down and perfectly curled.

“Sorry, sorry”, she offers an apologetic smile, “someone turned off my alarm”, Darcy huffs as she’s taking out the keys from her bag and opening the shop.

“Someone?” Steve teases curiously wiggling his eyebrows.

“Actually, Steve”, she says as she steps inside, “I have some personal issues I need to discuss with you”, she nods while she places her stuff behind the counter.

“Personal issues?” Steve starts to worry.

“Loki and I… we are going officially”, Darcy stares up at him behind her thick-rimmed glasses.

“You were going un-officially?” he asks surprised.

“We didn’t want to get in trouble if it was just a fling”, she shrugs casually, “besides, you are always really caught up with your work, we could be making out here”, she giggles, “not that we ever did or plan to”, Darcy adds quickly.

“But it isn’t so you’re going to risk it?” Steve suggests quirking an eyebrow up.

“Exactly”, she nods, “I wanna know if you approve or whatever, or if one of us is getting fired”, the brunette looks down at her hands on top of the counter.

“Okay”, he grabs a pen from her desk and throws it at her gently hitting her in the forehead and she looks up with a smirk, “nobody is getting fired just keep it professional in the shop”, he points a finger at her, “and congratulations, you guys make an odd but cute couple”, he smiles kindly.

“Thanks, Steve”, she grins back before she leans to the side to turn the computer back to life.

***

Bucky’s taking a brake and goes to the cafeteria on the floor he’s currently on, luckily there aren’t many people around and he walks straight to serve himself a cup of coffee, while he’s waiting for his drink to brew, Tony comes into the room.

“Hey, Buck-o”, he tells him when he approaches, an assistant walks behind him with a couple of papers on his hands, Tony asks him for something and then hands it to Bucky, “it’s an invitation, for my father’s birthday party”, he says, “it’s a big event so you have to wear a suit”, the shorter man waves a hand up and down at Bucky’s body.

“Fancy”, Bucky hums as Tony starts dialing on his phone with the speaker mode on, “I’m glad I see you because now I can remember to tell…Pepper!” he exclaims.

“Yes, Tony?” the voice from the speaker answers.

“Can you send a courier to Star-Spangled to invite everyone there? I forgot about it”, Tony chuckles.

“I was going to go myself to drop off the concepts Steve requested for the tattoo so I’ll just take some invitations myself”, Pepper says firmly, “besides, I haven’t seen Steve in a while, that man is a workaholic”, the blonde girl giggles and Bucky can’t help but to listen closely when she mentions Steve.

“That’s perfect”, Tony cheers.

“I know, why would you do without me?” She asks with a mocking voice.

“I would probably get a pony tattooed”, he returns laughing.

“Exactly, you’re welcome”, she hums, “I’ll talk to you later”, Pepper says.

“Bye, honey”, Tony hangs up and hands his phone to the young man behind him.

“You’re inviting them too?” Bucky finally asks.

“It’s a huge event, they gave me leverage for a hundred guests aside from the people my father is inviting”, Tony explains with a shrug.

“Basically, you’re saying you need to fill up seats?” Bucky lifts an eyebrow in question.

“What? That’s not it”, he shakes his head, “I’m saying you are part of my top hundred, you should be flattered”, Tony wiggles his eyebrows, “you’re also our main interpreter so you’ll probably have to work for some part of that evening”, the man in the goatee adds.

“I’ll have to shower then?” Bucky says jokingly.

“Yes, please”, Tony rolls his eyes, “also, I’m inviting them because it’s a good excuse to see Steve Rogers in a suit, isn’t it?” Tony smirks before walking away. Bucky was glad Tony was leaving; he didn’t want to answer that.

_Steve Rogers in a suit? Hell yes!_

***

He’s wrapping up a client when he hears a familiar voice in the lobby, Steve clears out the room leaving it ready for the next appointment, he packs away some supplies and then heads out of his working station.

“Hello Darcy, how you been?” the woman’s voice says.

“Hey Pepper, what a surprise!” the brunette greets.

“I’m dropping off some drafts for Steve and some invitations for all of you from Mr. Stark”, Pepper says, “Steve, hi!” she says, giving him a little wave.

“Pepper, I thought I heard your voice”, Steve smiles.

“Here, I came to drop these off and Tony forgot to send you these earlier in the week”, handing him the ideas for Tony’s tattoo and the invitations she mentioned, “I’m sorry these are so short noticed but I hope all of you can make it”, she apologizes with a smile.

“Thanks Pepper, I’m sure we’ll see you there”, he says politely.

“Tony is so excited about the appointment, he’s been fidgeting about not driving over to try to convince you to push it forward”, she explains with a chuckle.

“I admire the patience you have, specially with Tony”, Steve smirks.

“It’s not patience, it’s love” she smiled kindly patting Steve’s shoulder.

***

Bucky arrives to a very quiet apartment at nine p.m., he figures Natasha isn’t home, he walks into the kitchen and confirms what he suspects when reads the post it on the fridge.

“I’m having dinner with Clint, I’ll be back L8ER, loser. N.”

“Okay, Avril Lavigne”, he giggles opening the fridge.

He makes some quick dinner, just plain pasta and a piece of chicken breast, Bucky goes to his room after he’s done and changes to something more comfortable, he takes off his shoulder brace quickly, he’s been wearing it all day and it’s starting to get itchy under his clothes, then he grabs his computer and lies on his bed with nothing but an old thin t-shit and boxers on.

***

Steve gets home past eight to a cheering dog, his friend bounces and jumps reaching for him as soon as he walks to the door, Steve closes it with his foot before he drops his belongings into he couch.

“I’m going to a party, Captain!” he cheers, Captain turns his head, his brown eyes open wide and whining like pebbles, “not today buddy, today we’re going running”, he nods scratching the back of his ears, Captain’s tail starts wiggling all over the place.

The blond goes up to his room to change into his running clothes, then rushes downstairs to join his dog who’s waiting patiently by the door, already knowing well what’s coming, “c’mon Cap, c’mon buddy!” he smiles wide as he attaches the leash Captain’s collar.

“Let’s go bud, let’s get out of here!” he says as they walk out for their late exercise.

This time, they take a bit more time outside going through a longer road, when he comes back at nine thirty he’s drenched in sweat and both of them are thirsty and exhausted.

“Cap, I’m starving!” he announces walking into the kitchen where Captain has his nose buried into his plate already.

He prepares a sandwich with all the vegetables he can find on his fridge and then goes to sit down on the couch to watch some TV while he hums happily. Steve devours his food quickly and starts feeling hot all of a sudden, the pit of his stomach warm and his lower back sweaty. He’s been thinking about Bucky so much lately, specially since he slept on his couch, he wonders if it smells like him.

_Come on Rogers, as if, you live with a dog._

Steve sighs heavily as he rests his head back on the couch, he feels the heat of thinking about Bucky cursing through his body, and he’s still dirty from the run so he guesses it won't hurt to take some tension off before taking a bath.

_On the contrary._

***

Bucky is looking through porn sites, there’s no denying it now, he’s searching for someone that looks like Steve, shamelessly and without hesitation, he gives up after a while and figures his imagination will do.

_Let’s face it, nobody is as handsome as Steve fucking Rogers._

He stands back up and starts taking off his shirt, fiddling with the hem of it and pulling at it slowly, pretending Steve is his audience sitting on his comfortable reading chair looking red as a tomato with a hard on pressing on his jeans, trying to cover his face and peeking at the same time, Bucky can see it bright as daylight.

The brunet dances a bit for the chair, rolling his hips from side to side slowly, back and forward and around, he pulls off his shirt and rubs his nipple piercings with his index fingers, Bucky bites down on his bottom lip trapping his piercing inside his mouth.

Placing a knee on top of the chair, he continues to tease his nipples with his hands pretending its Steve sucking at them gently, the metal of the piercings beginning to get warm against his skin.

“Fuck, just like that”, Bucky whimpers, tossing his head backwards as a low moan escapes his mouth, his eyes tightly shut and his knees shaky.

***

Steve is sitting on the cozy sofa chair on a corner of his room, he imagines Bucky seducing him, taking off his clothes so painstakingly slow that it makes Steve hard inside his pants. The blond presses his hand against his dick still under his running clothes, he rushes a hand to his mouth as he imagines Bucky straddling his hips against him, whispering dirty things into his ear, his breath hot and his piercing slick on Steve’s skin.

He ventures a hand down his pants and wraps his fingers around his cock, with the other hand he reaches down and pulls his clothes down to free his swollen member, he starts stroking slowly as he imagines Bucky’s chest close to his face, at least close enough so he can reach over and run the tip of his tongue over those beautiful pink nipples, flicking his piercings and sucking them into his mouth.

“Bucky”, he whispers softly.

Imagining Bucky’s strong musky smell, the one he lifts off when he performs, the smell of menthol tobacco from his mouth, Steve continues to stroke himself, pulling at his shaft, running his calloused fingers up and down. He imagines grabbing Bucky’s hips and lifting him up, his round ass-cheeks resting over Steve’s dick, teasing him every time he moves, Bucky’s hard cock against Steve’s belly and the only thing he has to do is move his hand to reach it, he starts stroking himself faster as he thinks it’s Bucky’s hand instead of his.

***

Bucky’s so grateful he has a reclining chair steady enough to hold himself up, the grip of his left hand is so tight on the backrest that his knuckles turn white. He’s practically kneeling over the chair, imagining Steve’s under him, his hard dick against his ass while he strokes Bucky’s cock fast and steady.

He passes his thumb around the slit of the head of his dick, already leaking pre-come onto his fingers, he leans forward and bites down his forearm, pretending it’s Steve’s pale neck, leaving love bites on his soft skin for everyone to see.

“Oh shit”, Bucky hisses when he begins stroking faster to mimic the pace Steve would have in his imagination, his strong hand holding him by the hip, his grip tight enough to leave a mark.

Holding the top of the chair for leverage, he continues to jack off with his other hand, his movements becoming unsteady and messy as he bites down on his bottom lip. The brunet groans feeling himself close, the corners of his eyes begin to blur and the muscles of his abdomen tightening.

***

Steve starts sucking at two digits of his left hand as he strokes his cock faster with his right hand, thinking about Bucky the whole time. He imagines the guy writhing and moaning over him, rocking his hips back and forth for friction, fucking Steve’s fist fast, the tip of his dick leaking into the fabric of clothes.

He lowers his slick left hand to stroke himself with it and moves his right hand to cup his testicles, gently massaging them between his fingers. He sees Bucky reaching down wit his hand to return the favor, his hands soft and gentle pulling at his cock non-stop.

The blond tosses his head backwards into the sofa; his neck exposed for Bucky to make his, he grunts silently when feels his dick starting to twitch in his hand. He tightens his grip and shivers all over; he comes instantly coating the top of his pants and shirt with his seed.

“Fuck!” he growls under his breath.

***

Bucky comes over the edge of the couch grabbing on for dear life. He falls back on the ball of his feet and bends forward, his sweaty forehead on the leather of the chair, his hair sticking to his skin.

“Oh man, what a mess”, he chuckles tiredly.

He walks to the bathroom hurriedly to take a wet towel and clean his mess, his knees feel like jelly and he tries to steady himself placing a hand on the wall; luckily, everything will come out smoothly thanks to the fabric of the chair. _Get it? Come out? Ok, no_. Bucky does as best as he can and goes back to take a quick shower.

***

Steve takes off his damp clothes and throws them into the dirty laundry hamper before takes a nice blissful shower, when he’s done, he sweeps away the steam on the bathroom mirror and stares at his reflection for a while, he sighs deeply and runs a hand over his short and wet hair.

“I have it baaaad”, he says as he wraps a towel around his hips, “so bad”, Steve shakes his head.

When he’s finally done, he puts on some clean underwear and cozy pajama pants, he’s putting on a loose long sleeved shirt over his head when he hears his phone ring over the nightstand.

***

After his bath, Bucky lays down on his bed staring up at the ceiling of his room, trying to form figures with the cracks in the painting until his eyes start to itch, he decides to text Steve wondering if he’s already asleep.

 **Bucky:** I heard you got invited to Howard’s party, are you going?

***

Steve smiles wide at the message as he pulls the blankets over his body, sighing to himself when he sees Bucky’s name on the screen of his phone.

 **Steve:** Yes, I hope to see you there.


	16. Chapter 16

Steve takes his nicest suit from the closet and lays it on the bed, he bathes and shaves the few hairs on his chin calmly, he puts on the suit and goes back to the bathroom to try taming his hair back in place, he stares at the reflection in the mirror at his tattooed knuckles, the only visible evidence of the ink in his body, the ‘BROO’ in one hand and the ‘KLYN’ in the other peeking out of the sleeves of his shirt.

“Looks pretty badass if I do say so myself”, he tells Captain who’s lying on top of his bed.

Minutes after, fresh and ready, he walks down the stairs and checks that the back door is properly closed along with the little window over the sink, everything seems to be in place and then goes to grab his gloves and his helmet from where he left them the previous day.

“Crap, how am I going to put this on without messing up my hair?” he huffs.

 _Just take a comb with you, idiot_.

After retrieving one of the spare combs from the bathroom downstairs, he heads back to the door and stops midway with his phone in hand and group texts Sam, Clint and Bucky.

 **Steve:** Do we meet there or do we meet somewhere before?

 **Bucky:** Nat and I are on our way there :)

 **Sam:** There

 **Clint:** What he said ^^^

He carefully puts on his helmet and walks outside, he lifts up his tight dress pants to sit down on the motorcycle, he leans back an waits for the motor to heat up, the loud roar of the engine coming back to life under him.

_I feel like James Bond, I should do this more often._

***

“Hurry up Natasha, our driver is here!” Bucky yells.

“You got us a car?” Natasha says putting on a pair of earrings as she walks towards Bucky.

“HUBBA HUBBA!” he whistles, “you look smoking hot, Clint is gonna die”, he compliments looking at her up and down.

The girl is wearing a form fitting black dress showing off a bit of cleavage, her hair is wavy and loose around her shoulders, killer black stilettos on her feet and a teasing smirk on her lips.

“Thanks, you look really nice yourself”, she winks.

“I know right? Look at my hair, I even styled it”, Bucky wiggles his eyebrows at her.

“That’s a new one”, she chuckles, “I like the color of your suit”, Natasha comments hooking her arm around the elbow that he’s offering.

“Yeah, it’s different from my traditional black”, he says as he shuts the door of their apartment.

_Do you think Steve will like it?_

***

Steve arrives shortly at the Stark tower and sees Sam and Clint waiting for him at the reception, he stops and waves at them, “how come you guys haven’t entered?” he asks without taking off his helmet.

“You have our invitations”, they say in unison narrowing their eyes.

“Oh, right!” he giggles as he gets off the bike reaching for three invitations on the inside of his jacket, “where are your plus ones?” he asks handing the keys to the man in the valet parking.

“They’re about to arrive,” Clint says pointing at a town car that approaches the entrance.

First, Natasha opens the door and Clint rushes to give her his hand not waiting for the driver who’s walking around the vehicle, “you look amazing”, he sighs, but Bucky is the one who’s coming out first and immediately answers, Clint ends up pouting but he helps him get out anyway.

“Thank you, Clint, I do look out of this world”, Bucky giggles.

_I agree._

Steve wants to say something but he’s having trouble finding the words, he swallows hard and his eyes go up and down trailing Bucky’s body. The man is wearing a tailored graphite colored suit with a white dress shirt underneath, a graphite tie a few tones darker, almost like Steve’s suit, and black slick shoes.

“Steve, is that you under the helmet?” Bucky asks.

“Oh my god, I’m still wearing it?” he pushes his helmet off carefully, the same guy from the valet walks towards him to take it.

_I’m such a dumbass._

“Oh man, your hair is slightly messed up, do you have a comb?” he asks taking a step forward.

“Yes, I brought one”, Steve nods as he’s fishing for it in his pants pocket.

“Here, let me help you”, Bucky says taking the comb from Steve’s hand.

The blond doesn’t have time to register what’s happening until he feels the warm breath coming out of the brunette, his eyes look deep and lost in concentration, his lips slightly parted and his piercing trapped between them, the micro-dermals on his cheekbone are bright and shiny, his soft brown hair framing his face. Steve shivers when he feels Bucky’s soft fingers in his hair brushing slightly over his ears.

Steve had to close his hands tightly, his arms handing awkwardly on his sides, he wanted to moves his hands up to Bucky’s hips, pull him towards him and close the distance between them, hold his in place to plant a kiss on those inviting lips of his.

 _Have we been this close before_?

_Just look at him, he smell so good._

_Breathe, Steve, breathe._

_Where’s my inhaler?_

***

Bucky just offered to fix Steve’s hair and now he’s regretting it, he can feel Steve’s eyes staring at him as he fixes his hair, those baby blue eyes he wants to sink in so badly, he tries to hurry up so Steve won’t notice his blushing cheeks.

 _What the hell, Bucky? You don’t blush_.

Steve looks like he belongs in the cover of GQ and Bucky is losing his mind. The blond is wearing a gray suit, a few shades darker than Bucky’s, a light gray pressed shirt and black tie and shoes.

Their mouths are barely a few inches apart, Bucky could lean forward and put his lips on Steve, wrap his hands around the man’s neck and bring him closer. _And fuck_ , if he wants to, Steve doesn’t look like he’s a guy who’s comfortable with PDA and Bucky couldn’t care any less, that’s one issue for starters, other thing is that they are barely acquaintances, and let’s not forget that he’s probably straight as a board.

“There you go”, he finally says handing the comb back to Steve.

He looks around and notices that they’re alone outside; Bucky wants to say something, anything, but he can’t bring himself to do so, perhaps the blond won’t appreciate a compliment coming from a gay guy, and Bucky decides to shut his mouth.

“Thank you, I guess we should go inside”, Steve says awkwardly, pointing at the doors behind them.

They walk through the lobby and into the elevator, when they reached the destined floor the doors open to reveal a long white marbled hallway to be greeted by a waiter who’s handing glasses of champagne, neither of them grab a glass; they turn to their right to see their friends waving at them. They walk towards the table to sit, he notices the two seats left are next to each other.

“Well, I guess this is us”, Bucky offers a smile, pulling out their seats.

“I’m glad we get to sit next to each other, at least I’ll have someone to talk to, I don’t know many of the people here besides the ones that are in this table” Steve comments shyly as he’s sitting down.

“I do know some people, but I’m still glad you’re next to me”, Bucky smirks, “I just hope Tony or Howard won’t need me too much”, he shrugs.

“I didn’t knew you were working tonight”, he says surprised.

“It’s not exactly a working night but Tony did say they might need me, but in the meantime let’s just have some fun”, Buck nods.

***

Natasha is asking Bucky something, who is sitting next to his right, Steve’s not paying attention because he doesn’t want to pry. Steve’s silent for a moment, looking at his surrounding with wide eyes; everything looks so expensive, a big hall with a lot of windows, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, tones of white, pearl and light blue, _very Miami Vice._ It feels warm inside even though all the windows are open and it’s really cold outside; he’s looking at their friends interact with each other, laughing, drinking and having fun, he smiles at the view.

“Hey, are you alright?” Sam says interrupting his thoughts.

“Yeah, why?” Steve frowns.

“You seem really quiet all of a sudden”, his friend adds.

“This is just too much you know, it’s not bad, but wow”, the blond sighs.

“Yeah, man, I understand, I know you get clustered really easy, do you have your inhaler?” Sam asks.

“Yes, mom”, Steve smirks.

“Ok, old man, if you’re feeling weird just say something”, Sam pats his shoulder.

“Yeah, thanks” Steve nods.

***

Bucky ends up being needed for moment, he interprets at the party for a while glancing back at the table where his friends are all chatting, when they finally announce they were going to start catering the food he rushes back to the table to get something to eat.

_Free food, hell yeah!_

“Hey there, welcome back”, Steve smiles at him as he’s sitting down, Bucky just wants to lean forward and kiss him.

“Hi again, what did I miss?” he asks.

“Not much, you’re just in time”, Steve says pointing at the plate of food in front of them.

“Finally” he cheers.

Bucky’s about to grab a bit of his food when he gets interrupted by someone, “hey fellas, how you doing?” Tony wonders, the guy with the goatee is standing behind them with Bruce on his side, “hey Steve-o, did you get a chance to check out the illustrations I sent you with Pepper?” he asks putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder and the blonde doesn’t seem to mind, Bucky can’t help but to feel jealous.

_You’re just being stupid._

“Hello guys, I hope you’re having a lovely evening”, Bruce says kindly.

“Hi Bruce, and yes Tony, I did, they’re great”, the blond nods, “I think I have an idea of what you want, I’ll send some sketches to you”, Steve offers.

“Perfect, can’t wait”, Tony cheers.

“You’re work is truly wonderful Steve, you’re really talented”, Bruce comments nicely offering a smile.

“Thanks Bruce, that means a lot”, the blond blushed. _He’s so adorable_. “Hey, where’s Betty?” Steve asks.

“She’s around here with Pepper”, he waves at the hall in general.

“Bucky, Betty is my wife, I’ll make sure to introduce you guys later on”, Bruce explains.

“Oh, sure”, Bucky smirks.

“Anyway, I can’t wait for the appointment, Steve. I’ll see you guys later”, Tony winks. With that they’re gone and start talking to Sam who is standing near the dance floor in the center of the room.

“Soooooo”, Bucky sighs.

“He’s quite the character, isn’t he, Tony?” Steve giggles as he grabs a fork to start eating.

“Indeed he is, how did you guys meet?” he wonders.

“Well, we met through Thor actually”, Steve comments, “Thor goes to shows sometimes but he’s into metal, like death, doom and black metal, and if you know Tony his more into traditional heavy metal and some extravaganzas” he says, taking a sip of his water before he continues, “we were at the Black n’ Blue Bowl back in 2012”, he says, “it had an amazing lineup, members of Warzone played a Tribute to Raybeez, it was awesome”, Steve nods enthusiastically, “anyway, all the sudden, there’s this guy telling Thor that they had to get together to jam or something, I though he was and odd fella, next thing I know Thor is introducing me as his boss to Tony Stark himself, it was kind of surreal actually”, the blond chuckles.

“I can imagine, I remember the first time Tony saw the tattoo on my left arm, he asked me if I was some sort of robot and he started to call me tin man”, Bucky laughs.

***

Steve is about to say something about Bucky’s tattoo when a loud cheer and screams spread across the room, and Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” starts to play.

He hears their friends calling and waving for them to go to the dance floor and Steve wants to crawl under the table but then he feels something squeezing his arm, he looks down and sees Bucky’s hand on his forearm.

“C’mon, let’s go dance”, Bucky smirks tilting his head a little.

“Oh no, I can’t, you go”, Steve shakes his head.

“I won’t go if you don’t, it’ll be only for a few minutes”, Bucky says offering his best puppy eyes.

“I’m serious, I can’t, I have two left feet”, he argues.

“Oh Stevie, I’m sure just exaggerating, pleaseeeeeeee”, Bucky whines, bating his long eyelashes at him.

_He just called me Stevie. Stevie. And shit, those eyes, how can I say no to that?_

“Fine”, Steve sighs defeated.

_Here goes nothing._

***

He drags Steve to the dance floor holding him tight by his wrist, they join their friends that are now dancing on a circle, everybody is laughing and goofing around, this is perfect and Steve’s moves are not as bad as he says they are. They dance to a few more songs: Tom Jones’ “It’s not unusual” and James Brown’s “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag”.

Bucky loves dancing, he busts some of his best moves and everybody is cheering for him to go to the center of the circle, he does as he’s told and then Natasha joins him, then he goes back to his original place being replaced by Thor.

Everything is going smooth but then there’s a change in the rhythm in the music and Elvis Presley’s “I Can’t Help Falling In Love” starts to play, his moves slow down as he sees their friends start to dance in couples, he turns around to see Steve dead in his tracks.

“So, I’m going outside to get some air, care to join me?” Bucky points awkwardly at the doors that lead to the balcony.

“Sure”, the blond agrees following him through the hall.

As soon as they are outside he wishes he had a pack of cigarettes with him because it’s freezing, he hunches his shoulders since he’s just wearing his suit jacket, and it’s like Steve is reading his mind, “It’s really cold out here, I tough you were coming here to smoke”, he says.

“Nah, I’m trying to quit”, Bucky comments plainly.

_I can’t be around you if I’m smoking, you have asthma._

“Oh”, Steve hums.

Bucky is starting to feel a lot of cold on the left side of his body, it makes him shiver and he notices Steve is looking at him with worried eyes, “I know it’s cold but it gets worst because my arm starts to hurt with this weather”, Bucky hunches his left shoulder placing his right hand over it, trying to rub some heat on it.

“Maybe we should go back inside” Steve points at the doors behind them.

“I’ll be fine”, Bucky shrugs.

“Are you sure?” Steve asks, and now he’s staring at Bucky’s arm.

***

“You can ask you know”, Bucky offers.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare”, Steve shakes his head with wide eyes, his eyebrows almost touching his hairline.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind telling you”, the brunet says with a small smile and kind eyes.

“Oh, okay”, Steve whispers looking down at the floor, “so, what happened? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to”, Steve adds.

“It’s no big deal”, Bucky shrugs, “I fell from a tree when I was 8 years old, I broke my arm in three different places, dislocated my shoulder and broke my collarbone”, the brunet comments like it’s nothing.

Steve feels he’s about to pass out, a memory in the back of his mind that he though  was gone forever, crying and screaming, but it was him who was doing all the noise, staring down at the ground and tears rolling down his cheeks, it all feels like a déjà vu, but it’s impossible, _it can’t be_.

“What? That is a big deal, are you kidding?” Steve exclaims when he finds his voice.

_Oh god._

“They had to operate my arm a few times, I had a few metal plates inserted and therapy was a bitch, I was left with a lot of scars, that’s why I covered my arm with the tattoo sleeve”, Bucky explains staring and the city in front of them.

“I’m sorry, and are you okay now?” Steve worries.

_I’m so, so sorry._

“Don’t be, there’s nothing you could’ve done, it was dumb of me”, Bucky smiles, “I’m fine now, I have to wear the shoulder brace a few hours a day; I have full usage of my arm but after a few hours of putting too much pressure on it starts to hurt, and the cold weather is an issue sometimes”, he says rubbing the shoulder with his hand.

***

“M-may I?” Steve is asking him as he gets closer and places a hand on his shoulder.

Bucky stares at him for a few seconds, at first he’s not sure how to feel about it, but Steve has such a hurt look on his face that makes Bucky want to cry, _Steve is not Brock_ , “be my guest”, the brunet says finally lowering both of his hands to grab the rail in front of him, looking at his left where Steve is standing close to him.

_Don’t stare, Bucky, don’t stare._

Steve places his firm right hand palm on the back of Bucky’s shoulder, and with his other hand stars to massage the top of his shoulder rubbing it in circles backwards. Bucky closes his eyes for a bit and tries to melt into the warm feeling of Steve’s hands, his knees feel like jelly, he tilts his head backwards frowning a little, then he bites his bottom lip sucking the piercing into his mouth and swallows hard.

_Don’t moan, keep your shit together._

_Shit, if this is how his hands feel like._

“Just tell me if it hurts”, Steve says kindly.

“Actually, it feels amazing”, Bucky whispers, “thanks”, he adds.

They’re at it again for a few more minutes falling into comfortable silence, and then he’s cold all of a sudden missing Steve’s touch, there’s a chill running through his spine as Steve lowers his hand down stopping on his lower back before pulling away. Now Steve’s leaning in the rail looking at the view of city lights in front of them and Bucky can swear the blond’s eyes are glowing.

“Where did you learn how to do that?” Bucky asks.

“My mom, she was a nurse you see, I used to have a lot of trouble with my knees in the cold weather when I was younger”, Steve explains.

“Oh yeah, I remember you said something about being a sick kid, I find it hard to believe”, he points at Steve’s body up and down.

_Very hard to believe._

***

“I know I don’t look so sick now, I mean, I still have asthma and I have a B12 deficit so I have to take vitamin shots ones or twice a month, my scoliosis is better now, my bones are not too weak anymore but I have to take calcium supplements and a shitload of pills to keeps other things in order”, Steve shrugs as it was nothing.

_I’m pathetic, I know._

“Shit, when you said you were sick I didn’t think it was that bad”, Bucky shakes his head.

“I’m better now, I guess, I broke my arm once, actually”, Steve giggles.

_It was pretty lame._

“Yeah, what happened?” Bucky wonders.

“I was walking down the stairs and some kid made me trip, I landed over my arm and busted my knees pretty badly, my mom was surprised nothing else was broken”, Steve comments.

“Are you shitting me? I’d have killed that kid”, Bucky says surprised, then he attempted to settle down, Steve doesn’t know what to think about that, “did you get bullied a lot?” the brunet asks with a serious tone.

“Unfortunaly yes, but I always fought back”, he nods, “I just cant’s stand bullies in general, so every time I saw a kid in trouble I stepped in to help”, Steve says proudly.

_Even though I always got my ass kicked in return._

“I bet that turned out pretty well”, the brunet comments sarcastically.

“Hey don’t worry, I had them under the ropes”, Steve smiles wide.

_Yeah, right._

“I bet you did, punk”, Bucky jokes.

“Oh, so now I’m the punk? Jerk”, Steve grins at him.

***

They start laughing, a good, rich and full laugh coming from both of them, the stories continued for a bit, Bucky talking about his popular friends in college, of course he left out the countless hookups he had, his time in Russia. Steve’s countless journeys to the hospital and the first time he brought Captain home and begged his mother to keep him. Steve has such a contagious smile that Bucky’s cheeks start to hurt since he can’t stop grinning.

Falling into comfortable silence again, they stare at each other, Bucky thought for a second he should go for it and kiss Steve right then and there, he wants to, _badly_ , but he can’t, he knows he shouldn’t think about Steve like that. Suddenly, somebody opens the door, letting the muffled sound of the music come through the doors, he takes a step back from where he was standing and turns to see who it is.

“Well, there you are, they’re about to sing happy birthday, you guys should come back inside”, Natasha’s standing there with her hands placed over her hips, looking more intimidating than she should for someone her size.

_Thanks for cockblocking me, Natalia._

They’re walking through the crowd to their table when he looks back at Steve, “do you have pictures?” Bucky questions.

“What?” Steve asks confused.

“Of you, when you were little, I mean”, he explains.

“Oh yes, remind me next time you come around the house, I’ll show them to you” Steve smiles.

“Deal” he nods.

_You can show me anything you want._

They take back their seats, their friends are chatting cheerfully waiting for the cake to be served, Steve chats with Sam and Sharon, he recognizes her as the girl who works at SHIELD and she’s now been dating Sam, Bucky turns his attention back to Natasha and Clint. As soon as the cake is handed, a few of their friends go back to the dance floor but Bucky and Steve stay behind eating happily.

“What’s their deal?” Bucky asks nodding his head at Thor and the petite brunette on the dance floor.

“Thor and I met in a tattoo convention, a few years later I opened the shop and offered him a job, the little brunette is his wife Jane, she does some rocket science stuff, for real”, Steve says and continued nodding at the direction to where Loki and Darcy are standing, “the tall Eric Draven looking guy is Thor’s brother, Loki, he also works at the shop with us”, the blond comments, “he’s a pretty serious guy, he was going through the whole emo phase when I met him, he had just found out he’s adopted”, Steve shrugs, “luckily they’re in good terms right now, and Darcy is the receptionist and apprentice at the shop, Loki and her are official now”, Steve smiles at that.

Bucky was about to say something about Loki, that indeed the guy had a mysterious look going on but he was interrupted by laughs and giggles, he turns around to see Clint making faces at Natasha.

“I’m really happy for her, you know”, Bucky sighs deeply.

“Yeah, me too”, Steve nods, “I mean, Clint’s been my friend longer than Natasha but in all the time I’ve know the both of them I’ve never seen them happier”, the blond says, “I’m so glad for them, they suit each other”, Steve smiles.

The party goes on smoothly after that, no drama, no fights and everything seems to be perfect. If only he could tell Steve how he feels, if only Steve was interested in him, but he’s not stupid, he knows that can’t be possible.

_Can it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody asked me (bitter_eyes) on Tumblr about how this story came to life and about the writing process, (I already answered you if you want to check it out), anyway, I figured I included part of the answer in here since it gives you a bit of an insight and all.
> 
> The idea for this fic was born almost a year ago, my best friend Jemille (ElectricJo on AO3 and electricjemi on Tumblr) and I were talking about Stucky AU’s would be cool to read and why nobody had wrote them, just hoping that someone will hear our prayers basically haha. I’m a huge hardcore music fan, I go to shows as much as I can an all, I find very appealing the energy that people put into the whole touring and underground scene which made me start fantasizing about the idea of these two men in this sort of lifestyle and it seemed perfect. Since there aren’t many girls interested in this type of music (and considering that most of the people that write Stucky fanfiction are mostly women), I realized I was gonna have to write it myself (if you can beat them, join them, right?), anyway, that’s how it happen.
> 
> As for the writing process, both of us started pitching ideas about the main plot and what not, Jemille is not so much into this type of music as myself but she’s been to enough shows with me that she gets the general picture. At first, I begun writing down some sort of briefs of general ideas for each chapter and she used those as a base to write the whole thing, at the beginning I didn’t feel like I could do it but then I was writing so much into those briefs that they look like actual chapters, this happened for at least the first fifteen chapters until we started sorting out who wanted to write what. The time when the ideas started piling inside my brain was when I begun writing chapter, after chapter, after chapter, and sometimes just skipped a few that my friend told me she wanted to write herself.
> 
> I’ve written most of the chapters by now but I send them to her as soon as they’re done and she points out a few things like grammar and also adds a few things here and there every once in a while. And as I pointed out before, most of it is already done and I’m warning you, it’s long (that’s what she said, HA HA!), I’m actually thinking about turning it into a series (yay or nay?), I just love these two <3
> 
> If you have more questions about this sort of things or even about the story itself, don't be shy and ask, I'll try to answer as best as I can :) also if you want to talk music or movies x)
> 
> And again, thank you, thank you, thank you for taking your time in reading this and everyone that has been supportive, leaving us kuddos and encouraging words, we appreciate it a lot!
> 
> :D


	17. Chapter 17

Bucky is at the train station waiting for his sister on a Monday night, like he promised her. He’s thinking about Steve, and what he told him at the party, about him being a sick kid, he does believe him but he can’t picture it, or maybe he can but he doesn’t want to think about it, _although I wouldn’t have minded a tiny Steve_. He thinks about the blond being bullied and getting into trouble for helping the people in need, _tiny hero Steve Rogers_ ; he feels something tightening in his chest, a feeling to protect Steve, even tough the man clearly doesn’t need to be protected now.

He remembers the look Steve gave him when he talked about his accident and the brace, first there was something deep in his eyes staring back at Bucky, but his expression changed into a caring and understanding look, not pity or misfortune and Bucky is really grateful for it.

His sister is yelling at him as soon as she sees him interrupting his train of thoughts, “Hey Buck-o”, Rebecca smiles wide.

_Becky, Becky and Bucky, I know! Clever, huh?_

“Look at you kiddo”, he sighs deeply, “welcome!” Bucky gives her a big hug and a kiss on the temple.

The siblings walk out of the station and wait for a cab, Bucky gives him the address and leans back against the seat next to her. While they’re on their way, Becky’s staring at Bucky with a questioning look.

“What is it, do I have something on my face?” he wonders.

“No it’s just…” she frowns.

“Just what?” Bucky asks.

“You seem different”, Becky comments.

“Different how?” Bucky questions.

“I don’t know, just different, but a good different”, she says, “This isn’t about Brock, is it?” his sister narrows her eyes at him.

“No, definitely not, he’s not around anymore, you know that”, Bucky says looking down at his hands.

_Hell no, definitely not about Brock._

“I’m glad, he’s a scumbag”, she assures, “but this is about someone, isn’t it?” Becky asks.

“Yeah, I guess”, he whispers.

“Who is he? You have to tell me!” She demands.

“Well, he’s a friend I met through Nat, he’s goes to shows, but I think he’s straight”, he says lamely.

_And he’s such a talented artist, a loving and caring human being, he’s funny and thoughtful, he has the brightest smile I’ve ever seen and the clearest baby blue eyes. Ah shit._

“You should look into that”, she bumps her shoulder with his, “does Nat know?” Becky smirks.

“Oh no, please don’t tell her anything”, Bucky begs, “I plan to tell her myself but not yet, please”, he sighs.

“Don’t worry, you’re secret is safe with me”, Becky winks pulling out of the cab.

***

Steve is at the grocery store after his session at the Red Room, he’s thinking about Bucky as a child getting his arm injured and he can’t help to feel impotent. He imagines Bucky as a teenager wearing a brace, getting teased at gym class and now he wishes to be back at the Red Room, _beating the shit out a punching bag, he doesn’t deserve any kind of bullshit for it._

He’s at the dairy’s aisle when he bumps into Phil; he’s wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants pushing his shopping cart full of groceries, “hello there, Steve”, he waves.

“Hi Phil, how’s it going?” Steve waves back.

“Everything’s good, just came back from a run”, he explains pointing at his clothes and pushing his glasses back into place with his index finger.

“Yeah, me two”, Steve says, “how are things going at SHIELD?” The blond asks.

“It’s going pretty well actually, the shows have been going on smoothly without any kind of drama, a lot of sold out nights and the bar is packed almost every weekend, actually we just hired an extra bartender, his name is Logan”, Phil explains.

“That’s nice, I’m grateful to have a place like SHIELD that everybody can go and have fun”, Steve smiles.

“Thank you, that means a lot”, Phil blushes and continues, “now that we’re talking about this, I know you’ve been hanging out a lot with Bucky, do you think the Howling Commandos would like to play a show at SHIELD?” the older man questions.

“I know they play a lot of shows over at HYDRA but I think they’ll agree if you ask them”, he shrugs.

“Yeah, I mean, I know Alexander is weird about the local bands that play at his place, he feels like they owe him something, and that isn’t right, we are a part of the same music scene”, Phil nods.

“Exactly, I met him the other day, I thought he was kind of odd”, Steve confesses.

“Yes, indeed”, Phil laughs.

“Anyway, I can give you Dum Dum’s number, he’s the one that take cares of the booking for the band”, Steve suggests.

“Really? That’d be really nice of you”, he compliments.

“Sure, it’s no problem”, Steve says as he looks through his phone, he gives the information to Phil and waves goodbye.

Steve goes straight home after that to be received by a hungry and cheering dog, “calm down buddy, I got you covered”, he says showing his dog the bag of food.

***

Bucky wakes up at 11:30 a.m. on a Tuesday on the couch of his living room; he remembers Becky is here, he let her have the bed, _I’m a good brother like that._ He goes to his room and the door is open but nobody is there, he wonders where Becky is, he knows Natasha is not there either.

He’s walking into the small kitchen, about to text Natasha to ask if Becky is with her but he sees the note on the dinning table.

“Yo lazy ass, I needed 2 leave early 4 my appointment, and because I’m so KWEL I didn’t wake you, but we should meet there doe. XXOO”

“Appointment, for what?” he says and sees the address at the end of the note.

He lifts his right arm and sniffs at his armpit, _shit._ He goes to take a shower as fast as he can.

***

He’s at the shop, early as usual; he has an appointment coming in at 11:30 so he’s getting his stuff ready, checking everything is in order. At 11:45 he hears the bell from the front door, he comes out from his working station and into the lobby, he guesses his appointment just arrived.

As soon as he sees the girl talking to Darcy in the front counter he feels a déjà vu, the girl looks like someone he knows but he can’t wrap his head around it, she has fare tanned skin, long brown hair, big blue eyes and a septum ring, _I don’t know if I’ve seen her before or what_ , his chest is tight all a sudden, he swallows a lump and goes to introduce himself.

“Hi there, I’m Steve Rogers”, he stretches his hand out.

“OH MY GOD, I know, I’ve been waiting for this since forever!” she shakes his hand enthusiastically giving him a welcoming smile, “I’m Becky by the way”, she adds.

“Nice to meet you, Becky”, he nods.

“Dude, you’re totally more handsome in person”, she says, Steve is looking at her with wide eyes, Darcy is definitely laughing in the back, and then she continues without letting Steve say anything, “so, shall we begin? I’m so excited!” the girl beams at him.

“Uh, I –um… Yes”, he says awkwardly feeling the warm blush spreading through his face.

“Finally”, she cheers cutting the air with her right fist.

***

Bucky gets a cab because he figures it’ll be faster than ride his bike even though it’s not too far from where he lives, he hands the driver the address, and for some reason he feels nervous about this whole situation, he doesn’t like surprises that much.

As soon as he gets to the place he can’t believe his eyes when he reads the lettering on the window outside, Star-Spangled Tattoos. There’s a neon sign with just the word ‘TATTOOS’ on top, but on the wall beneath it, there’s a huge window with the name of the shop along with some artwork done with vinyl stickers in just white and blue with a few red accents here and there.

_You have to be shitting me!_

He doesn’t know what to do, his sister is right there, inside Steve’s shop, he not even sure if she’s getting something from Steve or someone else but the blond will definitely be there. He feels curious and sighs heavily, _here goes nothing_ , he passes a hand through his still damp hair and goes inside, a little bell on top of the door goes off as soon as he steps in.

“Hey there, sex go- I mean, Bucky, right?” the cheerful brunette greets him.

“Uumm, hi… Darcy, isn’t it?” He asks.

“The one and only, so what brings you here, cutie?” she smiles wide at him.

***

The session with the girl is going great, they’re not saying anything, just hearing the buzzing of the tattoo machines and the music in the shop, he’s humming to some ‘H2O’ song playing in the background. The girl, Becky, she’s getting tattooed a piece in her forearm, a traditional pin up girl dressed in military gear, and she doesn’t seem to mind the pain at all.

_We got a tough one._

“As soon as I saw your artwork I knew I had to get something tattooed from you”, she finally says.

“Well, thanks”, he nods still looking down at his hand holding the machine and the kindle moving across her skin, “you said you’ve been waiting for a while now, are you from around here or…?” Steve asks.

“No, I was born here but I was raised in D.C. but my brother lives here now, I came here for the appointment but I’m staying for a week, I had my finals last week so I got some free time from school” Becky explains.

“That’s nice, what are you studying?” he asks leaning back a bit straightening his back since he just finished the outline, he’s fiddling with the machine to change the needles to star the coloring.

“I go to Culinary Art School”, she answers with a smile.

“Wow, that’s awesome, I love food”, he laughs.

“That’s what my brother said when I told him about my first project”, she giggles, the corners of her eyes wrinkle in a way that he’s sure he has seen before.

Steve is about to tell her to take a break before they continue, the blond is standing up when he hears the bell from the front door followed by a familiar voice, he freezes in place, he just can’t help it, he knows that voice, _Bucky_.

***

He’s about to ask if he can see Steve since Darcy has been trying to interrogate him where they met, thankfully, he hears his sister calling for him, “hey Buster, I thought the couch swallowed you”, she laughs.

Bucky turns to see her standing next to Steve in the hallway walking towards him, Steve is giving him a questioning look, his eyebrows are frowning a bit but he looks overall handsome with his tight ‘Have Heart’ navy t-shirt and khaki jeans. Becky comes over to where he is standing with a wide smile on her face, he’s glad she’s the one that came closer because he feels like he can’t move, Steve walks towards Darcy to take the phone she’s offering when she informs he has a call.

“Becky, what are you doing here?” he hisses between his teeth.

“Well, duh!” she chuckles, “the obvious”, she points at her forearm.

The brother stares at the ink on her arm, it’s just the outline but it already looks amazing, sure it’s a bit swollen and red, the edges looking angry against her soft skin but the piece is beautiful, “you should have said something before”, he narrows his eyes at her.

“Sure, dad”, she jokes.

Steve comes to stand next to them looking at him with his head tilted a bit, he doesn’t say anything for the first few second, he just stands there, perhaps waiting for Bucky to say something, but he can’t make his tongue work, it’s weird being speechless since he doesn’t shut up ever, but right now, his sister’s and Steve’s eyes on him are making him feel nervous and blushing.

_Don’t die._

***

Steve walks towards them and looks between the girl and Bucky, neither of them say anything, and Bucky seems to be having trouble inside his head.

_Well, this is awkward._

“Hey”, Steve says finally, scratching the back of his neck, looking at Bucky who’s staring down at the floor.

He can’t ignore the surprised look on the girl’s face that snapped her neck turning back at him from where she was staring at Bucky, and just like Steve, she seems to be having problems to comprehend what’s actually going on.

“Hi”, Bucky offers a small smile.

The man is wearing the classic “Jane Doe” black hoodie by ‘Converge’ under a black jean jacket with patches all over it, dark wash jeans ripped at the knees and battered high top black Converse tennis.

_He looks so cute with his hair all wet._

_And fuck, those piercings._

It’s crazy how the last time Steve saw Bucky they were both wearing a suit, the brunet cleans up really well, looking like something out of Steve’s dreams, but seeing him like this, as he normally looks, Steve prefers this over an expensive suit any day of the week. It seems they’re both having a moment staring at each other without saying anything, Bucky’s smile brightens up a bit when his smiles grows bigger, almost matching Steve’s, almost. Becky is the one to interrupt the moment and Steve imagines for a moment that Bucky huffs under his breath.

“You two know each other?” Becky demands.

“Well, umm…yes”, Bucky smirks at her before looking back at him, “Steve, this is my sister, Rebecca” Bucky explains.

“Oh, what a small world”, Steve chuckles, “you never told me you had a sister”, he comments with a smile.

_Of course, that’s why the girl looks so familiar, I can see the resemblance._

“Now I’m offended, and when were you planning to tell me you know THE Steve Rogers, huh?” she bumps her shoulder into Bucky’s. _I’m not that famous._

“In my defense, you never told me you had and appointment with him”, Bucky narrows his eyes at Becky, his sister.

_Holy shit, I just tattooed Bucky’s sister._

“You should have told me before, that way I wouldn’t have to wait like three months for it!” she exclaims, Steve burst out laughing at her comment, a rich thick and loud laugh, tilting his head backwards putting a hand over his belly.

“What are you laughing at?” Bucky smirks.

“I don’t have any siblings and this is just priceless, let me get some popcorn”, he jokes.

“Oh, shut up”, Bucky huffs before he starts laughing too.

“You two look alike”, Steve points at both of them. _Becky and Bucky._

“We don’t”, they both yell at the same time and Steve giggles.

“Besides, I’m better looking”, Becky shrugs. _She’s just like Bucky._

“Sure you are, kiddo”, Bucky says patting his sister’s shoulder.

“Anyway, I think we should continue”, he comments, “I have a couch in my working station if you want to come and sit in the back”, Steve offers to Bucky.

_Although you can sit anywhere you want._

“Sure”, Bucky smiles.

***

He’s there at Steve’s shop, looking at him work on his sister’s tattoo, it feels surreal. The blond looks so concentrated, peaceful and thoughtful. He’s holding the tattoo machine carefully and moving his hand in gentle motions to penetrate the ink into Becky’s skin, his other hand working in cleaning the surface and the excess ink.

 _This is him_.

_Steve Rogers in all his glory._

The room has a lot of space, supplies stacked in the back wall of the room, a tattoo bed folded on the side, his sister is currently sitting on the tattoo chair in the middle of the room and Steve has his back to Bucky who is sitting in the couch situated against the opposite wall.

Steve’s t-shirt is rolled up a bit, Bucky can see on the fabric how the blonde’s muscles contract as he moves the right arm to work with the tattoo machine and continues to clean the area with his left.

_Shit, those shoulders._

_Are those back dimples? Aw, shit._

He knows he’s staring with wide eyes because his sister is now clearing her throat and giving him weird looks, he is glad that Steve is too concentrated to notice.

“What are you doing?” She mouths, Bucky just shrugs.

“So how did you guys meet?” Becky asks.

“Well it’s kind of funny you see, Bucky wouldn’t-“ Steve says but he gets interrupted by Bucky, “Natasha introduced us”, the brunet says.

“Is that so?” she smirks teasingly.

“Yes, but Bucky hated me in the beginning”, Steve comments sadly.

“I did not”, Bucky whines.

_I hate Brock, not you._

“Yeah, pal, whatever you say”, the blond says not looking up.

“Damn right whatever I say”, Bucky demands and to that Steve chuckles.

“I believe you Steve, my brother is weird sometimes”, Becky justifies.

“Are you going to choose his side?” Bucky asks in outrage.

“I don’t want to choose a side but if this means I can get another appointment without waiting a lifetime, a discount or maybe a free tattoo, then I’m team Steve all the way”, she beams at him.

“I’m sure we can arrange something”, Steve assures her and turns his head to wink at Bucky.

“I can’t believe this, betrayed by my own sister!” he complains.

_I’m team Steve too!_

“You’re so whiny Bucky”, she says, “I don’t know why you hang out with him Steve”, she comments teasingly.

“It has its perks, I guess”, Steve says calmly but Bucky can hear the smile in Steve’s voice.

“See? I’m not that bad”, he sticks his tongue out at her and the blond laughs through his nose, lowering his head again to concentrate on his work.

They are silent again but Bucky never takes his glare away from Steve’s back, looking up and down, he can feels his sister staring at him and when he moves his eyes up to meet hers she’s frowning

“You like him”, she mouths with wide eyes.

Bucky shakes his head with exaggerated moves, “NO”, he mouths back but he’s aware of the blush on his cheeks, Bucky’s sure his sister can tell; Bucky lowers his stare to his hands that are resting on his lap.

_Great, now my sister knows._

_I’m dead._  

***

Bucky’s sister is asking a lot of question but he doesn’t feel uncomfortable, she’s asking how they met and Bucky is avoiding the fact that he indeed was acting hostile towards Steve, but he doesn’t say anything, he’s just glad that they are now in good terms.

“Steve, how well do you know Natasha?” Becky asks.

“Well...” he says as he cleans up her arm, the tattoo is finally finished and she never had to ask him to stop, “I go to the Red Room to train with her since it opened, plus a year before that, so it’s been a while, she’s a good friend”, he explains standing up to start cleaning up his working station for the next appointment.

_I go to the Red Room to get my ass kicked, basically._

“Perfect, so I’ve been dying to try out this Italian restaurant downtown”, Becky comments, “Natasha, Bucky and I are going tonight, would you like to come with us?” she wonders.

“Becky…” Bucky says with a worrying tone.

_Maybe he doesn’t want me to go._

“Oh no, it’s ok, I don’t mean to intrude”, Steve says awkwardly shaking his head.

_Although I’d love to go._

“C’mon Steve, It’ll be fun”, she smiles and passes him patting his shoulder and heading back to the lobby but Bucky stays behind.

“Listen Steve”, Bucky sighs heavily, “I’m sorry about my sister, I know she’s a bit forward and she can be pushy sometimes, and believe me when I say that by any means you’d be intruding”, Bucky is serious, “I just don’t want you to feel obligated to say yes if you don’t want to go”, he explains.

“Okay”, he says shyly.

“So, would you like to go to dinner with me?” he questions, “with us, I mean”, he corrects offering a small smile.

“Sure, why not?” Steve smiles big, trying to keep his cool.

_I’d prefer just the two of us, but how bad can it be, right?_

***

Steve just agreed to go to dinner with Natasha, his sister and him; Steve doesn’t know what he’s getting into, going out with two of the three most terrifying women he knows, the other one being his mother but she’s miles away from here, that’ll be too much to handle.

_Tonight is my funeral._

“So, I’ll text you the address”, Bucky says, both of them walking towards the front of the shop.

“Okay, what time are we meeting?” he asks.

“We’ll see you outside at nine, yes?” Bucky says.

“You’re going?” Becky is asking excitedly before Steve can answer. _Jesus, Becky._ Steve just nods happily. Bucky needs to have a long talk with her before anything else happens.

“Nice, I’m sure Bucky is really excited” she smirks teasingly and Bucky wants to crawl under a rock, before any of them could say something else, “dude, thank you so much for this, really, this is more than what I was expecting, I’ll definitely comeback for another”, she grins pointing at the fresh ink on her arm.

“I’m glad you liked it, at nine then?” the blond smiles.

“Yes, thanks for everything Steve”, Becky turns around on her heel and drags Bucky by the arm.

“See ya later, Stevie”, Bucky waves over his shoulder as Becky pushes him through the door.

_I’m so screwed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyy for Bucky's sister! :D


	18. Chapter 18

Steve’s at his house getting ready for dinner, he still can’t believe he’s spending time with Natasha, Bucky and his sister, he hopes he doesn’t get any piece of food stuck between his teeth. He knows the place and he’s glad it’s casual enough he can get away with wearing a sweater and jacket. He puts on the blue sweater that Sam and Clint teased him about making his eyes look like water, dark blue jeans, his brown bomber jacket and casual brown boots to go with it.

He pets his dog for a bit, making sure his food and water plates are full, “hey buddy, I’m going out to dinner, how do I look?” he laughs shaking his head, “wish me luck”, he says to his four legged friend.

He grabs his helmet and keys, goes out into the cool weather of the night, it’s the last day of September and this month has passed quickly on his books, he hops on his motorcycle and drives off to the restaurant.

***

Bucky asked for the day off in advance since he knew his sister was going to be around, and after being lazy the whole afternoon, watching movies and chatting with Becky, he finally goes to his closet and tries to figure out what to wear, he decides he’s wearing all black, _because why the hell not_ , he knows he’ll get teased for looking like a vampire, _as usual_ , but he doesn’t care.

He puts on a black V-neck sweater, his nice pair of black jeans, _because my ass looks great, thank you very much_ , black leather jacket and black boots, _the clean ones_. When he’s out in the living room he stares at Becky up and down and he feels like crying, she looks so beautiful in her cute outfit.

The girl is wearing a brown coat and plain white blouse under it with a colorful scarf around her neck, her brown hair up in a messy bun, black shorts and tights on her legs along with brown booties, she’s not his little sister anymore, she’s 21 years old now and he’s _so damn_ proud of her, he won’t tell her though, _I won’t give her the satisfaction._

Then Natasha comes out and she also looks great, _as always,_ casual dark jeans, brown leather jacket and high boots that match exactly, her red hair perfectly straight _._ Bucky remembers they’re about to meet with Steve and his nerves start to kick in, he looks down at himself and he’s not sure if he should change or not, he doesn’t address this to the ladies in front of him, he can’t deal with their teasing right now.

The trio goes out into the night; they walk down to the street to grab a cab and head to their destination. Inside the vehicle, Bucky keeps fiddling with the zippers in his jacket, sucking his lip ring into his mouth nervously, he won’t be alone with Steve, but that doesn’t make him any less unsettled, he just hopes Natasha and his sister will behave and not embarrass him in front of Steve, at least not more than what he will.

***

Steve gets there a bit early but there’s nothing wrong with that, he doesn’t want to make them wait, and he doesn’t mind, he parks his motorcycle outside the restaurant in the permitted area and takes out his phone to pass the time, reading his latest emails and work requests. He figures his friends won’t take long but playing Flappy Bird for a while won’t hurt anyone, _anyone but my ego_.

Shortly after, there’s a sound of a car pulling up by the street, but he doesn’t look up from his phone, he’s too concentrated on a strike of fifty, which is his highest score ever. He hears Natasha’s voice and smiles a little, he knows they’re here.

***

They just got out of the cab and Bucky is dead in his tracks, Natasha and his sister are walking in front of him but Bucky’s legs aren’t working. Steve is leaning on the side of his bike looking all handsome, with his legs crossed by his ankles looking down at his phone; the light of the screen is giving the features of his face more definition and Bucky is standing there just staring, _just look at him,_ he sighs.

Bucky thinks this looks like a scene from the beginning of a porn movie, or something out of his dreams. _Or both._

His knees feel weak, he clears his head and tries to make his brain function again; he finally starts walking towards them and Steve is looking up with the biggest smile on his face and his eyes bright _._

 _I’m going to tell him not to wear any other color but blue, ever again, although that’d be creepy, right?_ Bucky is sure his heart just skipped a beat.

_I might be falling for this man._

_No, no, no!_

_That can’t be._

***

Steve’s still looking down at his phone when he feels Natasha and Bucky’s sister are close, when he looks up he chokes a little. Bucky is standing there looking like he just saw a ghost blinking his eyes a bit too fast; he’s on a black on black outfit, the piercings on his face glowing with the streets lights, his gray-blue eyes open wide, his hair is pushed back and is longer that the first time he saw him, a few strands locked behind his ear.

“Hey Steve, looking sharp”, Natasha comments and Becky smiles.

“Hello ladies”, he puts away his phone and stands up.

Bucky is finally walking towards them, he doesn’t know what just happened, _maybe he doesn’t want me here after all_ , Steve just tilts his head a little but he offers his best smile.

“Bucky, are you alright?” Becky asks her brother.

_He’s pretty damn all right to me._

“I’m fine”, he says plainly.

“Okay, shall we go in?” the girl says, “we don’t have all night and I’m starving”, Becky demands and Natasha laughs.

They four of them go inside and wait for the hostess to sit them at their table, as soon as he sits down he feels a little worried, the place has dim lights and candles lit up everywhere, he knows what this kind of lighting will do to Bucky’s face, and he is afraid he will be staring the whole night.

Steve makes the mistake to look from the corner of his eye to his left and he notices that Bucky is looking down at his menu, and like he expected, the brunet next to him looks like a vision, his eyelashes look ridiculously long fanning out kissing the top of his cheeks, the piercings that Steve wants to kiss so much make the man look younger, and his puckered lips making Steve flustered, the blond is now staring and blushing deeply. Steve tries to hide behind his menu while he decides what to order.

_He’s so damn gorgeous._

_How will he even notice me?_

***

Bucky’s never been here before, the restaurant is beautiful, the place is full tonight and he’s thankful that Natasha made him call for a reservation. He’s looking down at the menu listening to the conversation his friends and sister are having, he’s afraid to look up at Steve knowing he might say something stupid.

“Hey Nat, how’s the Red Room going?” Becky asks with a mouthful of garlic bread.

“Pretty good, I’m planning some renovations soon actually”, the redhead hums, “we still in for that, Steve?” Natasha is asking but Steve doesn’t answer right away. Bucky looks to his right and he notices that for some reason Steve is blushing behind his menu, “Steve?” she tries again.

“I um… sorry, what was that?” the blonde asks.

“The renovations?” Natasha wonders with a frown.

“Oh absolutely, just say when you need me”, the blond nods.

Then Bucky feels his phone buzzing in his jeans pocket, he pulls it out quickly an stares down at it, is a text from Tony, not much of a surprise.

 **Tony:** Yo Buckmaster, you’re needed first thing in the morning.

 **Bucky:** Okay Antonio, I’ll be there :p

He puts away his phone before Natasha tells him to stop being rude. The night passes in bliss after that, they order their food and everyone is eating happily, commenting on a few things here and there, Bucky’s glad his sister isn’t embarrassing him.

“Becky, how’s school going?” Bucky joins the conversation.

“Everything’s fine, had a few rough days with my finals but it went well”, the younger girl shrugs, “we have a funny teacher that’s all about the smells and mixed flavors, we call him Ratatouille”, she giggles.

“Very clever, and the boys?” Natasha asks wiggling her eyebrows.

“Well, there’s this guy I’m going out with, we went to the movies a couple of times and made out but nothing serious yet”, she explains.

“Oh my god, I was going to ask about this guy but now I don’t want to know”, Bucky says frustrated and Steve laughs.

“So Becky, what kind of movies do you like?” Steve changes the subject.

‘Thank you’ Bucky mouths followed by a smile and Steve nods with a smirk.

“Steve asks because he’s quite the movie nerd”, Natasha explains before taking a sip of her lemonade.

“I’m not”, the blond frowns shaking his head.

_I want to kiss that frown away so badly._

“You kind of are Steve but I don’t think it’s bad”, Bucky comments as he sees the muscles on Steve’s face relax.

“I like all types of movies”, Becky answers with a smile.

***

“By the way, Bucky”, Becky starts, “mom and dad expect you to go down to D.C. for Thanksgiving and Christmas, they miss you a lot”, the girl continues.

“I know, I’ll be there, mom will kill me if I don’t go ”, Bucky answers.

“How’s Stark going, Bucky?” Natasha asks before diving into her plate of spaghetti.

“It’s great, I have a lot of fun and I can’t complaint about the pay at all either”, Bucky chuckles.

“And your band?” Becky asks.

“Fine, they’re good fellas, we had a lot more shows lately”, he nods.  
  
“That’s awesome” Becky assures.

Steve is listening close to everything Bucky is saying as he cuts a piece of his chicken parmesan, he’s glad he’s here with Bucky with his sister and Nat, he can imagine what this ladies mean to him, Steve never had siblings but having good friends is as close as it gets and he wouldn’t change them for anything.

“Nat, you haven’t told me about your boyfriend, this is unfair!” Becky demands.

“Well, his name is Clint, he’s a co-owner of a courier service called “The Nest” and he also works at a shooting range, I’ll arrange something before you leave so you can meet him, Steve here introduced us”, she points at him.

“No, I didn’t”, Steve shakes his head, “you practically introduced each other, I was just standing there”, he laughs.

“I remember that”, Bucky smiles.

_I remember that too, you ignored me._

“How long have you been tattooing, Steve?” Becky wonders.

“I was an apprentice for almost a year, it’s been 5 years”, he explains.

“Only 5 years? You’re really good”, the brunette comments.

“I try, I guess”, Steve says lamely.

“I saw your portfolio earlier when you were working on Becky and it’s impressive, you’re really talented, don’t underestimate yourself Steve”, Bucky looks down as he pushes around the vegetables on his plate.

“Um, thanks”, Steve hums, the inevitable blush creeping up his neck.

_Is this a dream?_

“And what are you’re hobbies?” Becky questions.

“Oh my god Becky, this isn’t an interrogation room”, Bucky whines and Natasha laughs, “and you don’t encourage her, Natalia!” the man demands.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind”, Steve shakes his head smiling at them, “I just spent most of the day at the shop, I draw, I like watching movies, going to shows, my dog and working out, that’s mostly it”, he explains plainly.

“You work too much Steve, you should take a break sometimes”, Natasha nods.

***

The evening ends way too quickly for Bucky’s liking but his sister says she’s a bit tired, besides the rest of them have to wake up early the following day, Steve gives Becky a few advices about taking good care of her brand new tattoo and she thanks him with a nod. They walk out of the restaurant to get themselves a cab back home, Natasha whistles for one to pull over, Becky and her are waiting on the edge of the street while he stands a few feet behind next to Steve.

“I had a good time today”, Bucky smiles, “drive safe”, he adds.

“Yeah me too”, Steve says nodding, “and I will” Steve assures.

“Send me a message when you get home”, the brunet says.

“Okay” Steve smiles wide.

_We’re just being friendly, relax, Bucky._

Steve walks away from him towards his bike when their vehicle arrives; he gets inside the cab and turns to peek over his shoulder as the cab drives away, if Natasha or his sister notice, none of them say anything.

***

He turns to hop on his bike, when he reaches it he puts his helmet on and sees Bucky looking back at him as the cab takes off, he gives him a little wave goodbye and Bucky waves back.

Steve drives to his house feeling like he’s over the moon, lightheaded and smiling like an idiot. When he gets home his greeted by Captain who earns a full twenty minutes belly rub, after the promised pampering, Steve goes to his room to change, deciding he’ll take a shower in the morning.

He sits on his bed slowly and remembers he was suppose to text Bucky, he takes his phone to text him quickly.

 **Steve Rogers** : Got home safe and sound a while ago, I was petting Captain :)

***

Bucky is lying down on the couch looking at the ceiling, he’ll be lying if he said he’s not waiting for Steve’s message. As soon as the message arrives he unlocks the phone as fast as he can.

He reads Steve’s message and can’t help to smile at it.

 **Bucky:** Aww that’s cute, give him a hug for me :3

He means to say Captain is cute, not the idea of Steve petting Captain, or simply Steve being cute, which is totally what he’s trying to say if he’s being honest. He tries not to freak out when Steve doesn’t respond right away, maybe he misunderstood the message.

 **Steve** : He says he’ll hug you back when he sees you next time :D

The brunet sighs as a wide smile cracks on his lips, in reality he wants a hug from Steve, but Captain will have to do for now, he’s not complaining though, but the idea of spending time with Steve again makes him feel more than blissful.

 **Bucky:** Deal! Have a good night :)

 **Steve:** Thanks, you too :B

Bucky sighs loudly one more time before he locks his phone and goes to sleep with a grin on his face.


	19. Chapter 19

It’s Wednesday night and Steve keeps thinking about yesterday’s evening, the dinner he had with Bucky, his sister and Natasha, it turned out to be better than what he expected, and even though there was a lot of awkward exchange of words and stares coming from his part, and thankfully, nobody pointed out anything. 

Currently, he just parked outside the Red Room for his daily routine, he goes straight to the lockers to get ready and leave the rest of his things there. Natasha intercepts him as he comes out dressed, ready to work out, he walks along with her without saying a word, she’s mentioning something about the new machines she just bought for the place.

“Steve you seem distracted”, she comments as she pulls her hair back into a ponytail.

“Nah, I was just thinking”, he responds with a shrug, “I was wondering if we could start with training directly?” the blond asks as he ducks down and starts stretching his legs.

“Yes, sure”, she assures but either way gives him a weird look.

Steve wants to ask her about Bucky’s family but he doesn’t know how, it’s something that perhaps is not her place to say, the brunet seems pretty close to them but it could be a delicate subject anyway. He really wants to know everything about Bucky, what wakes him up at night, what he thinks about pickles since Steve hates them, what he did for his 21st birthday, what made him learn to play the guitar instead of any other instrument.

Those things might not be meaningful to Bucky, but Steve cares about them, not just coming from Bucky. Steve is not someone who does ‘what’s up’, he’s not really interested in small talk because he can do that with anyone on a daily basis, he wants his friendship with Bucky to be different, even if it’s just that, it feels weird and even desperate to want to have that kind of connection with someone, but he knows deep in his gut that this is meant to be, he’s not even sure why and doesn’t really care, he just hopes that Bucky feels the same way.

***

“Becky, I have band practice today so I’ll see you later today”, Bucky says putting his bag over his shoulder, and he was about to open the door when he hears his sister huffing in the back.

“No”, she exclaims from where she’s sitting on the couch in front of the TV.

“No what?” He questions.

“I didn’t came all the way here to watch TV”, she huffs again, “I’m going with you”, Becky says standing up and picking up her purse from the coffee table in front of her.

“You’re going to get bored, we just rehearse and then eat pizza”, he explains.

“I’m not missing out on pizza then”, she protests.

“You can see us perform any other day or on YouTube”, Bucky says.

“So?” she rolls her eyes.

“You’ll get bored”, he repeats with a sigh.

“I won’t”, she shakes her head, “ you more than anyone knows I live for this shit, I like your music”, Becky shrugs.

“I take my bike”, he points a finger at her.

“We’ll take the subway”, she says waving away his finger.

“Ugh, lets just take a cab”, he gives up throwing his hands at the air, “I don’t want to walk all the way to the station and then back to Dum Dum’s”, he sighs deeply.

“Yay!” his sister cheers.

Bucky knows his sister is right, they hadn’t seen each other since the past summer and he should be spending more time with her since she’s here visiting, but thinking about her and his band-mates in the same room makes his head hurt.

The last time Bucky was rehearsing they were talking about Steve’s ex-girlfriend, which Bucky knows nothing about besides her name and that she’s perfect, he can’t have that again, hearing them speak about someone Bucky can’t never be is way too much torture, even for him. It’s weird in a way, he’s never been the jealous type and knowing that Steve is nothing but a friend makes it even worse. Since the moment he found out that Steve’s not Brocks friend, he wanted to jump on his bones, because that’s what Bucky Barnes does, but hearing all of his friends speak so highly of him made Bucky want to know more about the blond.

He had decided a while ago that he needed to exchange more than ten words with the people he hooks up with, there has been good times but also bad ones, and he has had enough about men messing up with his life. He’s aware that Steve might never be ‘it’ for him but perhaps he can be the person that has been missing from his life, someone that will make him start trusting people again. Bucky has Natasha, and he can rely on her with his life, but even she needs a break or two once in a while. She has a life too, and Bucky knows he should deal with his own problems, but having someone to at least listen to his burdens makes them easier to carry, and for some strange reason he doesn’t comprehend yet, he thinks that someone could be Steve.

The drive in the cab is quiet mostly, Bucky’s lost in his toughs as they pull into his friend’s street, the brunet keeps thinking about yesterday’s dinner and the way Steve’s cheeks looked blushed under the dim lights. Becky has a wicked grin spread on her lips and he’s pretty sure that she’s is up to something, when they arrive at Dum Dum’s, and as he expected, Bucky is completely ignored by them.

“Becky, it’s so good to see you!” Dum Dum says as he walks up to her and hugs her, all the guys gather around the hallway to greet her.

”Becky, you look so good”, Gabe smiles wide.

“What brings you to New York?” Dum Dum wonders.

“I missed you, my one true love”, Monty comments with his British accent, Bucky knows the man is exaggerating only for her.

“Ugh, you guys are the worst!” Bucky groans walking by them to the garage.

Becky blushes slightly but after all she’s Bucky’s sister, and she flirts right back at them, a sweet smirk on her lips but her eyes are on fire as she tosses her hair to the back of her shoulder, _they can’t handle both Barnes_. The girl settles in a couch to the side of the garage where the band plays, she hasn’t said much to him about last night, or about him liking Steve, and when she winks at him he now knows for sure she’s planning something.

***

Steve’s in the middle of his training session not getting his ass kicked for a chance, they’ve been going at it for a while without speaking, Steve had to bite back his words a few times as Natasha approached him with a few punches.

“So, Steve what do you think about Becky?” Natasha asks finally.

“I think she’s a lot like Bucky”, he smirks, “did they use to spend a lot of time together?” he puts his hands on his waist trying to catch his breath.

“They did”, his friend nods “but Bucky had a hard childhood, as far as I know, he was very much like he is now up until his accident, then he became quiet”, she explains.

“I see…” Steve nods looking down at the floor. There’s a chill that runs down his spine every time someone mentions Bucky’s accident and it’s really starting to make him uncomfortable.

“After what happened they moved to D.C. and he started therapy there”, she comments and Steve decides not to say anything about it.

***

After the rehearsal, they all sit down for pizza and drinks, some of them are lighting up cigarettes, Bucky just takes a sip of his beer and lays back on the couch next to his sister.

“Sooooo, do you guys know Steve?” Becky says out of the blue and there it is, the reason why she’s here today.

_Oh, no._

“Yes, we do”, Monty assures with a nod.

“He’s a goody goody”, Gabe says. _Indeed._

“Don’t get deceived by the tattoos and that badass look”, Dum Dum interjects.

“The kind of man a lady would like to take to her mother”, Monty speaks with a mouthful of pizza.

_I’d take him to my mom._

_Wait, what?_

“You interested?” Dum Dum asks.

“No, but I know someone who might be”, she smirks at Bucky.

“You know, we should get Steve a date”, Gabe suggests.

_No, no, no!_

“Yeah, that guy deserves to be happy”, Dum Dum says kindly.

Bucky feels his blood boil, he’s not sure if that was Becky’s intensions but he’s not happy about it, and just like last time, he just wishes they would shut up about it.

***

“Well…” Natasha says as she punches Steve in the stomach, “Bucky’s dad is a vet”, she backs down a bit to give him space to breathe, “they moved to D.C. because he was transferred”, she says and throws another punch at him again, luckily Steve’s fast enough to block this one, “Bucky’s mom is a lawyer… a real tough one”, she smirks.

“Kinda explains some things”, Steve chuckles.

“They’re both good people, they have a nice relationship, his family”, she comments warmly, “Bucky always wanted to enlist but couldn’t because of his injury”, she sighs wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of her sleeve, “and you know, if Bucky told you about that, he really trusts you”, his friend comments and Steve smiles at that before getting another hit right in the stomach.

***

A cell phone is vibrating on the top of the table “ Be right back” Dum Dum says as he’s standing up when he notices it’s his.

“So, Becky”, Gabe starts, “you got any embarrassing stories of your brother?” he smiles at her.

“Why does everyone wish to embarrass me?!” Bucky yells as Dum Dum comes back inside in a heartbeat.

“Thanks man, I’ll ask the guys, I’ll just text you back in a bit”, the man with the bowler hat is saying, “that was Coulson”, Dum Dum says as he hung up the phone, “he wants us to play at SHIELD this Friday because one of his bands cancelled last minute”, he explains.

Bucky’s been wanting to play at SHIELD for a long time but Brock was always on the way, “sounds exciting”, he says genuinely as he takes another bite of his pizza.

“Yeah dude, say yes”, Gabe pleads.

“I’ve always wanted to perform there”, Monty comments.

“I’m glad I’ll get to see you guys before I leave”, Becky says with a smile.

As they leave Dum Dum’s, walking to a main street, Bucky is fiddling with his phone and Becky hooks her arm around Bucky’s elbow, “you know, you should invite Steve to Friday’s show”, she suggests teasingly.

“Yes, I was actually about to text him”, he smiles down at the phone.

***

Steve got home, fed his dog and he’s now in his room grabbing some clean sweatpants and boxers to go and take a shower.

He heard his phone buzz; it’s a text from Bucky.

 **Bucky:** We’re playing at SHIELD on Friday. Hope to see you there.

 **Steve:** I’ll be there :)

He texts Sam and Clint to ask them if they want to go, a wide grin spreading on his face.


	20. Chapter 20

Steve’s at the shop, he needs to hurry up with this raven he’s tattooing on Haley, a 23 years old girl, _or was it Katy?_ He feels awful for not remembering but who can blame him for thinking all day about a certain blue-eyed brunet who he’s about to see, _probably without his shirt on_ , playing at SHIELD, hanging out with his friends and having a good time. 

He’s also really excited about tonight’s show because Philadelphia’s finest ‘Blacklisted’ is also playing tonight, and seriously, _what a good time to be alive_ , it’s one of those bands that have a lot of energy when they play, they’re angry enough, fast enough, hardcore enough, punk enough, _they’re just great._

Steve’s eyeing the clock that’s hanging at the top of the wall, it reads 7:40, the show starts at 8, he needs to hurry up because he knows the Howling Commandos are probably opening and he definitely doesn’t want to miss it.

The blond wraps the girl’s arm shortly after, he explains the way she needs take care her fresh tattoo, says thank you and goodbye. He changes his shirt into something clean, puts on a hoodie and heads outside to where his bike is parked and heads to SHIELD as fast as is permitted, _or maybe a little too fast._

***

Bucky is at SHIELD, the doors opened at 7:30, there are no signs of Brock or Steve, _yet_ , and he’s starting to feel nervous, they’ve never played there before but there’s a lot of familiar faces since it’s the same scene, but he doesn’t want to make mistakes tonight, in case Coulson wants to invite them again.

“Hey Bucky, do you know where Steve is?” Sam is asking him, which is weird considering Sam is Steve’s best friend, _why would he ask me?_

“Um no, he said he’ll come, I though he’d be here by now” he says.

“Oh, hello there, I’m Sam”, his sister says. _Oh right, Becky’s here._

“Sam, this is my sister Becky, she’s visiting from D.C.”, Bucky explains.

“Hello, I was about to ask about Steve too”, she says smiling.

“He did that, didn’t he?” the guy asks pointing at Becky’s forearm, “I’ll recognize his work anywhere, that man is gold”, Sam comments.

“He is, isn’t he, Bucky?” she teases.

_She’s evil, I’m telling you._

“Yeah, I guess”, he says trying to sound casual. _Damn right he is._

Bucky sees Natasha and Clint holding hands walking towards them, “hello guys”, she says and Clint waves, “Becky, this is Clint”, she offers.

“Hello, and who’s this lady?” Clint asks.

“This is James’ sister, Becky”, Natasha explains.

“Well I’m glad to finally meet the famous boyfriend, I’ve heard a lot about you”, Becky smiles shaking Clint’s offered hand.

“Oh, so I’m famous now?” Clint asks Natasha.

“Shut up”, she mutters between her teeth hitting him on his bicep, and to that everyone is laughing but Bucky, he feels like biting his nails, but he won’t do that, _that’s just not appealing at all._

“He’ll be here”, Natasha hisses to him.

_She knows, she totally knows._

“I don’t know what are you talking about Natalia”, he narrows his eyes at her, “I better get going, it’s almost 8 and I need to set up my things”, Bucky starts walking away from them.

***

He’s outside of SHIELD at 8 o’clock sharp, he says hi to Coulson and Sharon and hurries back inside because the show is about to start, he sees his friends standing on the front of the room.

“What did I miss?” he asks without saying hello, trying to catch his breath.

“Hey, where’ve you been?” Sam asks.

“Had a late appointment”, Steve shrugs.

“Hey, you came!” Becky cheers.

“I said I would, how’s the tattoo healing?” he wonders with a smile.

“Perfect”, she grins.

They don’t get to continue chatting since there’s the sound of a guitar getting connected to the amp, and suddenly there’s Bucky right in the front of the small stage, working the microphone stand to the high he needs it. Bucky is wearing tight red plaid pants with too many zippers in them, a Fred Perry black polo shirt and some well worn black Doc. Martens, and his hair slicked back, _very street punk._

He waves at Bucky when he sees he’s looking at him and Bucky winks, _oh god_ , “my brother looks great tonight, don’t you think?” Becky whispers into his ear.

_Is she teasing me?_

“I, uuh-“ Steve mumbles before he gets interrupted.

“This is our first time playing here, thank you for having us, we’re The Howling Commandos”, Bucky starts playing his guitar shortly after.

***

He wasn’t planning to take off his shirt, but he always feels like suffocating when he’s playing with too much clothes on, at the middle of their set he takes it off to be catcalled by his sister, he just tries to ignore her. Becky’s telling something to Steve’s ear and he desperately wants to now what, _please don’t embarrass me._

He sings and screams as loud as he can, the rest of the guys perform nicely and they get a lot of applauses from the audience, he regrets listening to Brock all those months ago, “SHIELD is where I hang out with my friends, I don’t want you there”, he remembers, _what an idiot._

Bucky puts his stuff in the back to be dealt with them later, puts on his shirt as he gets down the stage and goes to his friends who are in the hallway that connects the stage room to the bar area, they are excitedly laughing at something,

“I thought you weren’t coming”, he says to Steve as soon as he’s standing between the blond and his sister.

“That’s what she said”, Clint says and Natasha slaps him in the back of the head, then she’s dragging him by the arm, “I want something to drink, c’mon”, she insists.

Sam is saying he wants something to drink too but they know well that it means he’s off to see Sharon at the bar, since she had a late shift tonight. After that, they’re he is, standing awkwardly between Steve and Becky, “you guys got pretty good, you always put a show like that, you naked?” she asks giggling. Bucky could swear that Steve is blushing but it’s a bit dark there so he’s not sure.

“I wasn’t naked”, he informs. _Semi-naked, it’s not the same._

“Sure, dude”, she says.

He sees Phil walking towards them, “hello guys, sorry to interrupt”, he offers an apologetic smile, “Bucky, do you think we can have a word?” the man asks.

“Sure, man”, he nods at Phil, “you okay?” he says to his sister.

“Yeah, just go”, he waves her hand in a showing motion, “I’m not 5”, she informs sticking her tongue out to him and Steve laughs through his nose.

In reality, he meant to ask if Steve was okay, leaving him alone with Becky is dangerous for the both of them, he sighed deeply and turned around to follow Phil to the back of the place.

***

Steve’s alone with Bucky’s sister and for some reason he feels nervous, he hopes he doesn’t say something he’s not suppose to.

“Do you want to go out to have some air?” Becky asks.

“Sure, let’s go”, he shrugs. 

As they are walking through the bar he sees his friends at the bar talking to Sharon who is serving their drinks, he also notices Brock and his friends in the corner of the bar making a lot of noise, he notices Becky is staring at them with a frown on her face. As soon as they’re outside she sighs loudly and leans against the wall.

“Are you okay?” he worries.

“Yeah, it’s just…” she shakes her head, “I thought he wasn’t around anymore”, she answers.

“If you don’t mind me asking, whom are you talking about?” Steve wonders.

“Brock Rumlow”, she sighs again.

“What about him?” Steve frowns.

***

Bucky’s sitting on the couch back stage with Phil, “you guys did great today”, Phil comments.

“Thanks, it means a lot coming from you”, Bucky smiles.

“I don’t know why you guys haven’t played here before, but I hope it happens more often”, Phil offers.

“Yeah, me too”, Bucky nods, “I really like it in here”, he shrugs looking down at his lap.

“I’m glad”, Phil says, “I know you’ve been hanging out a lot with Steve lately, he’s a good kid”, the older man comments warmly.

“Too good if you ask me”, Bucky smirks and Phil laughs.

“Indeed”, he hums, “I have to go check everything is in order for the next band”, Phil says standing up, “you can hang out here anytime you want to, I mean it”, assures smiling.

“Thanks Phil, I appreciate it”, Bucky nods.

***

“Bucky hasn’t told you what happened between them, has he?” Becky asks.

“I don’t know what you mean” Steve is confused.

“Do you know him, is he your friend?” the girl demands to know.

“I know him, but no, we don’t exactly hang out or anything”, he shrugs.

“Bucky was dating Brock a while ago”, the girl whispers.

“What?” he asks surprised.

_ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?_

He’s sure he should ask, Steve shouldn’t push her into telling him about it since it’s a private matter, but she’s the one walking about it, and he just can’t forget the way that Bucky’s face twisted the other night when he asked about Steve’s friendship with the man.

“It wasn’t exactly a sweet relationship”, she assures sadly.

“Why do you say that?” He wonders.

“To tell you the truth, he treated Bucky like shit, he’s a manipulative asshole who only wanted to screw my brother over”, Becky comments, her eyebrows frown and her eyes fill with anger.

“I didn’t know that”, Steve shakes his head trying to stay calm.

_I’m going to kill that son of a bitch._

“I know he didn’t come here because Brock didn’t let him”, she says sadly, “I know he’s a little too much on the rough side, Bucky always had bruises or scratches and he used to make the stupidest excuses for them”, the girl continues, “Bucky wanted a serious relationship and Brock just wanted a quick fuck”, Becky hisses between her teeth.

Steve doesn’t say anything, he couldn’t if he tried, the only thing he wants is to run back inside and kick the hell out of that man, the one who’s laughing and having a good time with his friends like he’s the coolest person ever. Steve’s leaning against the wall, with his palms against it, breathing fast and loudly through his nose, he knows he needs to calm down before he gets an asthma attack; he feels nauseous, he wants to cry and yell and punch something, he tilts his head back letting it hit the wall behind him as he tries to swallow the lump of tears forming in his throat.

***

He’s still back stage putting his guitar on the case, clearing some space for the band that is playing next, he’s bent down with a knee on the floor when he hears someone is coming behind him.

“I was looking for you”, Bucky stands up as fast as he can but he doesn’t turn around, he’s staring at the wall in front of him. _Brock._

“You look great tonight, although I thought I said I didn’t want you here”, the man hisses in Bucky’s ear, he wants to run away but his body is not responding, he wants to scream but his voice is not working.

“I know you’ve missed me”, Brock is rubbing against his back with his hands squeezing Bucky’s hips way too tight holding him against his body.

“Brock, please stop”, Bucky manages to say, almost like a whisper, putting his hands on top of Brock’s.

The other man turns him around and closes the distance between them putting his hand on Bucky’s lower back, “I thought you weren’t going to say anything, that would be a first”, he leans in, now too close to Bucky’s face.

“Brock, you’re drunk, just go away”, he says as he catches Brock’s breath with his nose. _Just leave me alone._

“I want you, now!” the guy demands as he grabs a fistful of Bucky’s hair with his right hand, yanking it backwards exposing his throat, Brock’s left arm is wrapped around his waist keeping him in place.

_Please, stop._

“Brock, wait”, he manages to say, he’s voice shaking.

Brock hums against Bucky’s neck making him shiver, he’s now tracing Bucky’s exposed throat with the flat of his tongue, Bucky puts his hands on the guy’s shoulders trying to push him away.

***

“Steve, are you okay? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”, Becky worries placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Becky, why are you telling me all this?” Steve hates how little he sounds as he tries hard not to cry.

“Well, back in the day, Bucky was always keeping a lot of things to himself, I knew he wasn’t happy when he was in high school because he was trying to figure himself out, when he came out to my parents it helped a little because they supported him”, Becky explains, “he was always talking about how much he wanted to comeback to Brooklyn, then he moved to Rhode Island for school and he started being himself, he got the opportunity to go to Russia, I know it was one of the best accomplishments in his life…” she sniffs.

“And he met Natasha”, Steve adds.

“Yes”, she nods and continues, “when they came back together he was happy, the happiest I’ve ever seen him”, she shakes her head, “he finished school and moved to Brooklyn, started working for Stark and being successful, he joined the band, and then he met Brock”, Becky says.

“And everything went to shit”, he assumes, the tone of his voice harsh and raspy against his throat.

“For a few months, yes”, she says looking down at the floor, “he wasn’t returning my calls nor my parent’s, I had to ask Natasha what was wrong, when she told me I took the earliest train here, we talked to him, thankfully he wasn’t too far gone for the guy and our little intervention worked, it’s been a year since that and he’s being trying to pull himself together”, she smiles a little.

“I still don’t understand how am I in the picture”, Steve said looking down at his hands. _This is all too much._

“That’s where you came in”, her smile grows a bit wider, “I now it’s only been a couple of months you guys have been friends but believe me when I say you’ve made a huge change in Bucky’s life, he seems like himself again, he smiles more often and I know you care about him”, Becky explains as she cleans away a tear that’s rolling down her check.

“I-I do”, he nods quickly. _Don’t cry._

“And I’m thankful for that”, she smiles again, her face finally clearing up.

They don’t exchange much words after that, Steve’s just letting everything sink in, he’s not sure how he’s going to handle everything Becky just told him, perhaps he should wait if Bucky wants to tell him sometime. They head back inside and walk to where his friends are, standing on the back of the stage room waiting for Blacklisted to set up their instruments to start playing. He sees that Bucky is not with them and he remembered he was talking with Phil; _they’re probably backstage._

“I’ll be right back”, he says to his friends.

***

“I love it when you beg”, Brock hisses, biting Bucky’s earlobe trailing down to his throat, Bucky manages to pull him away a few inches and Brock growls.

“Brock, please, we’ll talk when you’re sober”, he offers, trying to calm the angry man in front of him shielding himself with his hands.

Brock moves a step forward and puts his right hand to Bucky’s left shoulder and squeezes, digging his fingers at Bucky’s injured shoulder making him whimper, “You’re hurting me, stop”, he complains.

“Shut up, I know you like it rough”, he slams Bucky against the wall, his right hand squeezing tighter and his left on Bucky’s hip digging his nails at the bone.

Bucky’s hands trapped between their chests trying to push Brock away from him and failing, his left arm is starting to feel numb, he feels like crying. Brock’s face is too close to his, Bucky’s head is against the wall and Brock squeezes even harder making him open his mouth in pain, seconds later Brock is s now kissing him, forcing his tongue down Bucky’s throat and he feels disgusted, he just wants to throw up.

“Hey Bucky, the band is about to-… Oh, sorry”, someone says as he comes inside the room. _Steve._

Bucky feels Brock loosening his grip and he manages to push him back, he gets away from him a little bit putting a hand over his mouth.

“What do you want Rogers?” Brock yells, obviously annoyed by getting interrupted. _Thank you._

Steve is just standing there looking confused between the two of them; he doesn’t say anything, turns away and sprints away from the room.

“Steve, wait…” Bucky shouts but Brock grabs him by the wrist making him turn to face him, “this isn’t over, boy”, he warns.

Bucky pulls away from his grip and goes after Steve. _Shit, did he run because he saw me kissing Brock, or because he saw me kissing a man?_

***

Steve is practically running out of the room, he just saw Brock and Bucky kissing, _they were kissing,_ there’s no mistaking,he wants to get away and never comeback, but obviously he bumps into his friends.

“Steve, are you alright? You look a little pale”, Natasha is asking him with a worried tone.

“I’m fine, I just need some air”, he points to the door.

“The band is about to start”, Sam says.

“I know, I won’t take too long”, Steve nods before he runs out of the room.

He’s outside leaning against the wall in the same spot where Becky told him about Bucky’s abusive relationship with the man he just saw him kissing, he wants to say so much things to Bucky, how much he think he’s worth, that he shouldn’t be with a man like Brock, _but who am I to say otherwise?_

“Steve?” Bucky says almost like a whisper as he comes out of the door. Steve is looking down at his feet, “Steve, I…” Bucky sighs, “would you look at me, please”, he says.

***

Steve looks up to him, his eyes are a little red but he thinks it might be the cold weather, “what is it, Bucky?” he asks.

“Steve, what you saw, it isn’t…” Bucky doesn’t even know what to say about what just happened.

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything”, Steve says shaking his head.

_I know, but I want to._

Bucky sighs heavily and shuts his mouth, so many words left unsaid as his brain scrambles for something else, “well, Blacklisted is about to start and I know you like them, we should get back inside”, Bucky offers.

“Sure, let’s go”, Steve says before he starts walking away to the door.

They’re on their way back towards the stage room, Steve is almost trotting his way there but when Bucky catches him by the door he taps Steve’s shoulder, the blond turns to face him right away.

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky asks.

“Yes”, Steve answers plainly.

“Would you please not tell Natasha or my sister what you saw? I now they’ll probably get mad”, he huffs.

“They’ll probably get mad because they care about you, I just want you to know I’m your friend and I care about you too, even though you don’t think so”, Steve says.

_What?_

Steve turns around and heads to the middle of the room where the mosh-pit is starting to form, leaving Bucky behind feeling sad and lonely, Bucky tries to compose himself before he goes to join his friends and sister.

***

Steve tries to get lost in the music, feeling the anger rise inside of him; he hopes he doesn’t see Brock around because he’s afraid he might do something stupid.

He dances his ass off to try to lose the tension that’s starting to form on his shoulders, and in that moment he’s glad for hardcore music, he stage-dives, he moves with the crowd, he jumps around and for a good 30 minutes he forgets about everything.

The blond goes back to his friends as soon as the band wraps up for the night, they look pleased with the show too, they talk a little about the performance and the crazy stunts some of the guys pulled on the pit. He’s staring to relax, he tells himself that Bucky and Brock isn’t a big deal and tries to push the memory away, but he can’t help feeling miserable.

“You went a little crazy there”, Becky says and he just chuckles.

“We‘re thinking about going to the diner, you in?” Sam asks him.

“Nah, I don’t want to be a party-pooper, I have to wake up early in the morning and I’m a little tired”, Steve shrugs.

“You’re gonna say no to a cheeseburger? That’s a first one”, Clint frowns.

“Maybe some other time, I’ll see you guys around”, he waves at them and heads to the door trying to ignore the confused looks their friends are exchanging between them.

***

He goes outside after Steve as soon as the man stormed out of the room; the blond is sitting on his motorcycle balancing it between his legs while he waits for it to heat up, Bucky grabs Steve’s shoulder making the blonde look at him.

“Steve, what’s wrong?” Bucky asks.

“Nothing, why?” the blonde tilts his head to the side.

_I know it’s not nothing._

“Are we alright?” Bucky wonders.

“Yes, we’re fine”, he answers plainly.

“Text me later?” the brunet whispers.

Steve nods his head and puts his helmet on looking away from him, Bucky steps backwards and watches Steve drive away. _This definitely doesn’t seem fine to me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about this, so soooooo sorry. Don't kill me, please.


	21. Chapter 21

It’s Monday afternoon and Bucky is riding his bike down to the shop for an appointment, when he gets there he walks straight to the back ignoring the shouting of the people in the lobby, when he enters his working station, if you can call it that, he sees it’s a mess, things out of place, the trashcan filled over the top with things falling down to the floor which is also dirty and sticky.

Bucky’s pissed off because there are things all over the place and he always leaves it clean after he uses it, “seriously?” he whispers under his breath.

The brunet walks up to the break room looking for the store manager, “we need to have a talk”, he demands as soon as he finds him.

“Later, I’m busy”, the man watching television says, not even looking at him.

***

Steve decides to put away his thoughts about Bucky, it’s not that he’s jealous because he saw him kissing Brock, it’s because he thinks Bucky deserves much better than that. He’ll try not to say anything next time he sees him, Steve doesn’t want to judge Bucky, and it’s not for him to decide whom his friends date. _Even though it kills me._

He’s having a break from a chest piece he’s doing on a guy, when he notices a familiar face walk into the shop, it’s Peter Parker, “Hi Steve, you busy?” the kid asks.

“No, we’re taking a fifteen minute break”, he says back.

“Only fifteen minutes?” his client whines.

“We can take more if you need to but we’ll be here later…” Steve shrugs.

“Nah, that’s cool, I really want this finished today”, the man comments before he walks back to the restroom.

Steve turns to face Peter again, “how’s your tattoo doing?” the blond wonders.

“Check it out, fully healed”, the younger man smiles wide, “what do you think Darcy?” Peter asks her when she comes to stand next to him.

“Gnarly”, she says nodding her head, her hands placed on her hips.

“Nice, nice”, Steve hums, “keep it moisturized”, he point at the tattoo.

“Yes sir”, Peter nods once, “Ok so… that’s not what I came here for”, he starts, “I have this school project I gotta take for my final on my photography class”, he says.

“Okay… and?” Steve is confused, and he doesn’t know what he has to do with this but he guesses Peter has a point.

***

The manager comes out of the break room after a two hours, he signals Bucky to follow him, Bucky’s client came and went by now and he’s been wasting his _precious_ time doing nothing. They walk to the back of the shop to the guy’s office, and it’s also cluttered, even worse than Bucky’s space, he doesn’t even want to sit there.

“If you want a raise, you’re not going to have it”, the guy says as he sits down behind the table he calls a desk.

“It’s not about a raise, I’m upset by the state of things”, Bucky’s pissed. _Not upset, pissed._

“The state of things?” The guy wonders.

“Take this room for example”, Bucky makes a circle motion holding his index finger up at the air, “you are the manager of this shop and look at your office”, Bucky shakes his head, “I left my work station clean the last time I was here and somebody sat there after I left and had their lunch there”, he explains.

“First of all, this is my office and you can’t walk in and just have it your way”, the man quirks and eyebrow at him, “and second the workstations are for everyone’s use”, he shrugs.

“I’m not sharing a workstation with people who obviously can’t take care of the equipment, aside from that, these things take concentration!”, Bucky huffs, “how am I supposed to go through someone’s skin without hurting them when the guys are being so loud?” he practically yells.

“You’re just being whinny, worry about your job and let them be”, the man says plainly.

“Thanks but if you’re not going to do anything about this I’ll be signing my resignation ASAP”, Bucky sighs deeply.

***

“So the project, ok…” Peter shifts side to side on his feet.

“Yes, please, elaborate”, Steve smiles kindly.

“In this project, I need to work with a set, natural and artificial lights, a live model, and it has to have a commercial purpose”, the kid explains.

“Like for a magazine?” Darcy wonders.

“It could be a magazine, or a webpage, or some ads”, Peter comments as he turns his head back to Steve, “I’ve talked to Natasha about it, and we’re going to do the photo-shoot at the Red Room”, he informs.

“That’s cool”, Steve shrugs. _Where is this going?_

“It’s going to be for a new publicity campaign to promote the renovation of the place”, Peter says with a small voice.

“Okay”, the blond nods.

“The place will be ready in a couple of days”, Peter continues.

“Yes, I’m going to be helping Natasha with the equipment”, Steve says.

“Yeah, about that”, the younger man sighs deeply, “we have everything but the model, and I want to shoot someone working out with the new equipment”, he nods, _I see where this is going,_ “and I was wondering if you could help with that, Natasha said you’d be great”, Peter smiles hopefully. Steve wants to punch Natasha.

_I will punch Natasha, she can take it._

“Steve, you should totally do it, we could also use the photos for the shop’s webpage!”, Darcy bounced up and down on her feet, “show off your tattoos and all!” Darcy exclaims happily.

“Thor ahd Loki have made some of my tattoos, but not all of them”, he says in excuse shaking his head.

“Yeah, dude, but you designed most of them”, she smirks.

“That’d be great!” Peter’s smile grows even wider, “I could do close ups of different parts of your body to show the art details”, he offers excitedly.

“It would be awesome, you could list all of the artist that have worked on your body”, Darcy suggests. 

“Like a living canvas”, Peter nods enthusiastically.

“Guys”, Steve hums, his voice sounding small.

“Please, say yes, Steve”, Darcy begs giving him puppy eyes, her palms rubbing together and the tip of her fingers placed against her lips in a praying motion.

“Fine”, Steve sighs in defeat.

_I am so going to regret this._

***

Bucky is not needed at Stark’s today, he just quit at the shop, he knows he’s going to miss piercing but not the place, he’s not sorry for it though. _I’ll just go home and do some laundry_ , he packs up his equipment from the shop, which luckily was still intact, and wraps it weirdly on his bike.

He gets home and makes some food for himself, while he’s eating his mind drifts back to Steve, he hasn’t heard anything about him since Friday night after he left, after the incident with Brock, he feels sick from the memory, but he’s more worried about the look on Steve’s face and what he said about caring about him.

The brunet wonders if Steve would be weird around him next time they see each other, if that ever happens, he tries not to worry about it, he really hopes it doesn’t happen, just when he though they were getting somewhere.

After his meal is over, Bucky goes to his room and sits at the edge of the bed looking at his mess of a closet, he needs to clean it, he’s been trying to for the past few weeks, he figures he has all afternoon so better do it now than ever.

***

It’s time for Steve to to leave the shop and go to the Red Room, he drives straight there and as soon as he arrives, Natasha is smirking at him by the door, he knows why.

“Peter came by the shop today but I guess you already know about that”, Steve sighs.

“Yes, I do”, she offers a devilish smile.

“I’m so freaked out by this, I am not model material”, he shakes his head.

“You said you’d help with anything I needed”, she reminds him.

“I thought you meant moving and installing equipment not modeling in it”, he says walking towards the lockers area, “Why me? Why not Clint? Why not you?” he wonders desperately.

_Anybody but me._

“Clint has a good body but it is not MMA, and it can’t be me, I’m the owner and it would be weird”, she explains.

_That doesn’t even make sense, Clint’s body is great, what the hell?_

“Ughhh”, he groans.

“It has to be you, you never skip a day and you look super badass with all of the tattoos, it will create a really nice image for the place”, she nudges his arm as she walks next to him.

“I’m not badass but I’ll do it”, he says, “just for you and Peter”, Steve sounds defeated.

“Thanks Steve, it’s next Sunday so you better get your ass ready”, she comments stopping when they reach the door of the changing rooms.

He knows he’ll be working out extra time this week, and no junk food at all, besides dealing with his anxiety is going to be quite the charm, but he doesn’t know how to say no to his friends, he’ll do anything for them, really.

***

Bucky’s in the middle of cleaning his closet, tossing away the clothes he doesn’t use anymore to put them in a bag and donate them to someone who might need them. Shortly after, he finds a box at the top of the closet along with some shoeboxes, he’s sure it’s full of random stuff but he want to check anyway, he walks to the kitchen and comes back with a chair to reach it.

He opens the box and indeed, _random stuff_ , there’s a few letters from his father from back in the day when he served along with some post cards, old magazines and a few notebooks. At the bottom of the box is small craft paper bag where he keeps old photos.

The brunet sits at the edge of the bed with the bag propped on his lap, he goes through the photos with a smile on his face, there are pictures of his family, Becky as a baby, him as a teenager, when he went over to Russia, random shots from different cities, Natasha and him, his first show with the Howling Commandos, he sighs at the memories when a photo drops to the floor.

***

Natasha is pushing him to the edge of the training today, he knows she wants to make him ready for the photo-shoot, “easy Natasha, there’s still some time left” he pleads pushing back his sweaty hair away from his face.

“Rest is for the weak, Rogers!” she yells.

He’s tired but he feels good, he needs to take some weight off his shoulders anyway, when he’s taking a water break, she’s gives him a weird look and Steve stares back at her.

“What happened last Friday?” she questions and he looks at her still drinking water, he lifts up his eyebrow as he sips.

“Friday?” he asks. _Oh right_ , he can’t tell her.

“You also went M.I.A. all weekend, Clint and Sam are worried”, she says.

“I wasn’t feeling too well, I’m fine now”, he assures, Steve doesn’t say anything about Bucky, “I’ll text them later to tell them I’m all right”, he nods at her.

***

Bucky kneels down to pick up the photo staring at the scribbles on the back, his mother’s handwriting: Camp Lehigh, summer 1996, it says. He turns it around and he feels he’s about to pass out.

It’s a photo of him, when he was 8 years old right before his arm accident, he’s smiling wide with an arm wrapped around the neck of a skinny blond kid, shorter than him, said kid is who’s laughing freely, his head tilted back a little and his bangs falling into his forehead.

This is him and a kid he considered his best friend a long time ago, almost twenty years, before he fell from the highest tree and broke his arm that year, and never came back to the camp, this kid’s name was Steven.

He feels something tightening in his chest, he wants to kick himself for not seeing it before, he does indeed face-palm himself, this is Steve, his Steve, the blonde tattooed Greek god-like he’s been pining all over for the past months, he looks different but he’s sure it’s him.

Bucky is sure that Steve isn’t aware they knew each other before or he would have mentioned something about it, he needs to tell him but he figures it would be better to talk about it in person, he goes for his phone that’s propped on his nightstand table.

***

Steve gets home and goes to the little back yard to play with Captain for a while, to release some stress and have a relaxing time with his friend, he walks back inside after a while and straight to the fridge to fix himself some late snack, after he settles for a bowl of cereal he moves to the couch and puts on a random movie.

He’s half through Lost Boys when he feels his phone buzzing inside his pocket, he pulls it out and sighs when he sees it’s a text from Bucky.

 **Bucky Barnes:** How have you been?

Steve thinks about his response for a while, he guesses that texting what he really feels like might scare Bucky away, and since the brunet is not in front of him, he won’t tell he’s not being completely honest.

 **Steve Rogers:** Not bad, you?

 **Bucky Barnes:** I’m okay, are you doing anything tomorrow?

 **Steve Rogers:** Not really, I don’t have any plans after work. You have something in mind?

It’s like like 5 minutes later until Bucky answers back. _I’m not counting._

 **Bucky Barnes:** Nothing in particular, just want to hang out.

 **Steve Rogers:** If you’re interested, you can come by my house after work, around 8, maybe? We’ll watch a movie or something.

Bucky’s answer is almost immediate this time.

 **Bucky Barnes:** I’ll be there. Gnites ;)

 **Steve Rogers:** Good night to you too.

He puts his phone away and goes to take a much-needed shower, the memory of Bucky kissing Brock slightly fading away as a smile spreads on his lips, it’s worth it even if it’s only for a few seconds.


	22. Chapter 22

Steve’s walking into the shop when Darcy is sitting down behind the counter bringing the computer back to life, he figures she just got here, _just in time_. He’s about to say good morning when he hears a grunt coming from the man sitting on the couch on the waiting room area, his head is resting on the heels of his hands, elbows on his knees and his long dark hair falling over his face.

“What happened to him?” Steve asks Darcy pointing back at Loki.

“He stayed over at my place so he had to wake up earlier than usual”, she explains, putting her hair up in a bun, her glasses reflecting the bright light of the computer screen.

“Oh, I see” Steve says.

“Darcy, my darling”, the man huffs, “you should have allowed me to sleep a few more minutes, perhaps until my alarm rang”, he says sweetly finally standing, running his hand through his sleepy face before he pushed his hair away in one graceful movement shaking his head backwards.

“Yeah, like fifteen minutes would have made a difference”, she points at his boyfriend with-, _it’s that the Elder Wand?_

“You did not seem to mind fifteen more minutes last night”, the smirks devilishly, “now, if you’ll excuse me, I will go put some caffeine in my system”, Loki waves his hand in a small reverence and walks away, Steve chokes out a little.

“Wow, I didn’t want to know that”, Steve chuckles awkwardly.

“Sure, I know you’re not the saint everybody thinks you are”, she smirks and Steve blushes a bit.

***

Bucky parks his bike on the sidewalk outside the Stark Tower, he greets Happy when he’s in sight, Tony introduced them a while ago, the man is talking to the receptionist so Bucky says a quick hello and shakes his hand, then he walks to the elevator and pushes the button for the 27th floor, he’s at the 7th when the doors beep open and Pepper gets in.

“Hello there, Bucky”, she smiles kindly.

“Hi Pepper, how’s it going?” he asks.

“Everything fine, I heard Tony has a lot of work for you today”, she returns with a nod.

“Oh, that’s okay, I guess”, he shrugs casually.

“I know Tony is not too good with words”, the blonde girl turns her head to look at him, “but he’s glad you’re a part of the team, you’re really great at what you do”, she smiles.

“Um, thanks, Pepper,” Bucky grins back as the bell rings on the 27th floor where his office is located, “I guess this is me”, he points at the open doors.

“Have a nice day”, she offers.

“You too”, he waves back over his shoulder.

_What a nice lady._

***

Steve walks to the back of the shop to make some coffee for himself, but when he sees the coffee pot almost full, he makes a mental note to thank Loki for not making just a cup for himself. He hears the bell from the front door shortly after and checks his watch, it only 10:30 a.m., _it must be Thor_. He confirms his assumption when he hears the loud stomping coming down the hall.

“Steven, my friend, how is you this fine morning?” Thor beams at him.

“I’m okay, thanks”, he nods, “would you like some coffee?” Steve offers.

“Absolutely”, he beams wide, “I heard lady Darcy talking about a photo-shoot that’s being held at the Red Room, is this true?” he says as he grabs the cup that Steve is offering.

“Yes, its Peter’s school project and he wants to do some publicity photos for Natasha”, he explains.

“I see, that Peter Parker is a good kid, it’s really kind you are helping”, Thor smiles before taking a sip of his scalding hot drink.

“Well, I guess is a win-win situation, he also offered to take some close ups from my tattoos, I guess we could use them around the store, I’m not sure how to feel about it yet”, he confesses.

_I know I’ll look dumb._

“Steven, what are you worrying about?” Thor wonders.

“I don’t know”, he shakes hi head, “I just… I don’t want to look stupid”, he says shyly looking down at his tattooed knuckles running his thumbs over them.

“You’ll do great, my friend, you’re quite handsome if I do say so myself”, his friend complements.

“Thanks”, Steve blushes a little. _Yeah right, whatever._

“Be yourself and you will succeed”, the mountain of a man says passing along him and patting his shoulder.

 _Being myself?_ _I hope that’s enough._

_I couldn’t be anything else, even if I tried._

The blond leans against the small counter and sighs deeply, he’s nervous about this, he isn’t going to lie, but he’s not a quitter either, _grow up Rogers, it’s just a couple of photos_ ; he’s going to go through this and do the best he can.

He finishes the last gulp of coffee and passes his hand through his blond hair before he goes to set up his working station. As he’s sitting down, he remembers he’s seeing Bucky tonight, he couldn’t help feeling excited but also a little worried, since the last time they saw each other, Steve practically left him talking by himself.

Steve felt awful about it that night, he doesn’t know Bucky all that well but he seems like a good man, and by the things Becky said, nobody deservers to be treated the way Bucky was, the guy deserves happiness and kindness, not someone else giving him more trouble, someone trying to ignore him all over again, Steve doesn’t want to be that someone. He hopes he can put what happen before behind and act like nothing was going on.

_But how?_

***

“Yo, Buckynator!” Someone yelled outside his office.

“Good morning to you too, Antonio”, Bucky answers not looking up from his Stark tablet.

“Buckynator, get it? Bucky and Terminator, because of your arm? I’m a genius!” Tony chuckles.

“I understood just fine, you’re really clever”, Bucky laughs sarcastically.

“I know, thanks”, Tony smirks and continues, “we have a lot of work for you, got a bunch of Japanese manuals that need to be translated, they even have those funny looking Japanese cartoons you have to read backwards!” he exclaims with a smile.

“You mean manga, Tony?” he comments as a matter of fact raising an eyebrow at him.

“Sure, whatever that is”, he waves him off, “so are you available or not?” the shorter man questions.

He remembers he’s going to Steve’s house tonight, and he definitely doesn’t want to call it off, “the latest I can stay today is 7:30, but from tomorrow on I’m available any day”, Bucky nods.

“Is that so?” Tony wonders.

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you, I quit my job at the shop”, he looks down at his tablet again, going through some emails.

“Why is that? I thought you liked it”, Tony tilts his head a little in question.

“Yes, I do like the process of putting a needle through people’s skin and body parts but the guys at the shop where getting into my nerves and my boss was being a dick”, he says crudely. _And the pay was shitty._

“That’s sucks, but I’m glad”, Tony shrugs, “I was thinking about telling my dad to give you a raise to keep you here longer, I guess we won’t have to after all”, he giggles.

“Oi man! Give me a break, you can still give me that sweet raise you’re talking about, I won’t complain”, Bucky offers a toothy smile.

“I’ll think about it”, Tony jokes and turns to his feet to leave the office.

Bucky shakes his head, chuckling a little bit, he knows Tony is a difficult man and he can get out of hand sometimes but he does enjoy working here, sure he’s going to miss piercing, he’ll be okay either way. His mind drifts a little as he starts to think about Steve again, Bucky looks down at his notes, he has a lot of work to do, he tries to clear his head and wishes that the day would go on faster until it was time to meet with Steve.

_And then, for all I care, time can stop, forever._

***

Steve gets home at 7:30 and changes into something more comfortable, _sweatpants will do_ ; he heads back to the kitchen because he’s a little hungry and opens the fridge immediately, but he decides to wait until Bucky is here to ask if he wants something to eat too.

He pulls out the milk gallon and pours some liquid in a glass before he moves to the couch and turns on the TV to find something to watch while he waits for Bucky. He’s finishing his glass of milk when he hears a knock on the door, he stands up quickly and walks over there, he takes a second to look at himself in the mirror that’s propped up in the wall and runs a hand through his hair, _it could be worse_.

Captain rushes to the door after him, “let him breath, okay?” he says to the dog as he pulls him away to answer the door.

The blond opens the door and sees Bucky locking his bike into his small porch, he smiles a little. Bucky turns around to face him, and his heart skips a few beats, _he looks gorgeous._ He feels like he hasn’t seen Bucky in a long time, sure it’s been a few days but it feels like ages, he swallows hard before he can bring himself to speak.

“Hi”, he smiles and then looks down to see the white plastic bag that Bucky is holding.

“I brought dinner, I hope you like Chinese”, he bites his lip fiddling with the piercing there while he lifts the bag into the air.

“Oh yes, it’s perfect”, he takes a step to his left to invite the other man in, he takes the bag from Bucky’s hand and waits for him to get inside to close the door behind them. _Don’t stare at his ass._

Bucky walks in and kneels down to pet Captain behind his ears, the dog is waggling his tail all over the place, “Hey buddy, did you miss me?” Bucky asks the dog, Steve can’t help but feel warm inside at the sight, he smiles a little and sighs silently when Bucky stands back up.

“Make yourself at home, I’ll go get some plates”, Steve puts down the bag on the table in the middle of the room and goes to the kitchen.

***

Bucky’s in Steve’s living room, he’s happy from seeing Steve after what it felt like a lifetime, _damn, I missed him_. He’s standing in the middle of the entryway, he’s eyeing the photos on top of the fireplace, sure Steve told him to make himself at home but he isn’t sure if it’d be rude to look through the photos, he wants to do that since the last time he was here.

He gets closer to the fireplace and notices a few shots from the city: the Brooklyn Bridge, the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Coney Island and he can’t help but smile at the pictures. There’s also a few more of a young couple, he guesses they’re Steve’s parents, the man looks a lot like Steve; another photo of the same man looking down at a baby, _baby Steve_. And then, there it is, a picture of the same woman, Steve’s mom and him; Steve must be like 12 or 13 years old, smiling at the camera in what in seems to be Central Park, an he confirms that this is the same Steve he met all those years ago.

“What do you want to drink?” Steve pops his head out through the kitchen door.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having”, he says over his shoulder turning his eyes back to the pictures.

“Here you go”, Steve says seconds after as he comes to stand next to Bucky by the fireplace handing him a glass of apple juice.

“You weren’t lying”, Bucky whispers as he points to the photo of Steve with his mom.

“Unfortunately no, I have more pictures, we can see them while we eat if you want to”, the blond offers before drinking some juice from his glass, exposing his throat as he tilts his head back.

_Don’t stare Bucky, close your mouth, don’t drool._

“Sure, if you don’t mind”, he smiles a little.

“You can go sit in the couch while I go up for the photo album”, he walks away and Bucky goes to serve some food into their plates.

_I have to say something about the picture I found, I need to tell him._

Bucky has his plate on his lap and his mouth full of food when Steve comes down the stairs with heavy stumps, “found it”, he says in victory. _Aghh he’s so cute._ He swallows the food, cleans his mouth with a napkin and brushes his hands against his tights.

_It’s know or never._

***

“Steve, before we get into this, I have something to show you”, Bucky says with a serious tone. _Now what did I do?_ Bucky seems nervous, it’s a weird look on him, Steve doesn’t know what’s happening, he sees the brunet pass a hand through his hair and reach for the back pocket of his jeans. Steve really hopes this has nothing to do with Brock because once he starts he won’t be able to shut up about it.

Bucky pulls a folded piece of paper from his wallet and hands it to Steve, he looks down at the piece of paper and unfolds it, it’s a picture. Steve feels the now familiar chill running down his spine, his eyes are open wide and his mouth slightly open, he can’t believe that his assumptions were true. Since the first time he saw Bucky back at HYDRA performing with the Howling Commandos he recognized him from somewhere but he couldn’t place from where, and he knew if he said something it’d be weird considering the circumstances of how they met.

It’s Bucky and him in the picture, all those years ago, he lifts his eyes to meet Bucky’s but he can’t read his expression, he looks down at the picture again, there’s not doubt that the kid is Bucky and the other kid, well, he’ll recognize his scrawny ass self anywhere. _Damn, I look like shit._

“That’s you isn’t it?” Bucky says finally, “you were Steven back then”, he says looking shy.

“Yes, and you didn’t go with Bucky, you used James”, Steve nods.

“My full name is James Buchanan Barnes, the nickname came a few years after that thanks to my sister”, he explains with a shrug.

“I had my suspicions when you told me about your accident, but I just thought James was a common name, so I figured it was a coincidence”, he says not looking away from the picture in his hands.

“I just feel dumb I didn’t see it before”, Bucky shakes his head and chews at his bottom lip.

“I don’t blame you, I look awful”, Steve chuckles pointing at the picture.

“You don’t, you look cute”, he smiles a little and Steve blushes.

“This is fucking crazy, you know?” Steve sighs deeply.

“I keep thinking the same thing”, Bucky smirks at him.

And here they are, both laughing at the memories like not much time has happened at all, talking about their 3 summers together at Camp Lehigh, Steve always getting them into trouble, starting fights with bigger kids that were bothering the smaller ones, his tiny old self not being able to end them but Bucky was always there to help.

_Like hell I’m cute. Look at those cheekbones and the bags under my eyes; I look like I’m dead, and the tiny arms, and the spaghetti legs. I was 9 and I look like a 6 year old, the definition of cute for sure._

***

“I bet you blamed yourself for what happened to me”, Bucky whispers after a while.

“And to this day, I still do, I shouldn’t have left you climb up that tree so high”, Steve’s voice is sad. _I don’t like this._

“Steve”, he says with a kind voice, the blond is sitting down on the couch with his food untouched on the table beside him, his eyes looking down at his hands over his lap, a 6’2” healthy and muscular man looking small, _how can he do that?_ “Steve, look at me, please…” he demands placing his hand over Steve’s to make him look up.

“Believe me when I say that there’s nothing you could have done to prevent what happened”, Bucky says in all honesty, “It was a stupid thing for me to do in the first place, besides I’m fine now”, he offers a small smile squeezing a little at Steve’s hand to draw his attention, the blond looks so miserable. _Don’t cry, please._

“I remember the next summer you weren’t there, I missed you”, Steve whispers, if it wasn’t because they’re sitting so close to each other, Bucky would have missed it.

“After the half a dozen of surgeries I had on my arm I needed a lot of therapy and my mom didn’t let me go back, I missed you too”, he explains.

“I’m sorry Buck, I’m sorry this happened to you”, Steve sounds like he’s about to cry.

“Aww, c’mon Stevie, I didn’t want to kill the mood by bringing this up”, Bucky shakes his head, still not letting go of Steve’s hand, squeezing it again.

“Okay”, Steve nods and tries to smile at him, “shall we watch a movie then?” Steve sighs sounding more like him.

_That’s better._

“Sure, you pick one, do you have a microwave? I think our food is cold by now”, Bucky asks with a giggle.

***

“You pick one, I’ll go to reheat the food”, Steve offers almost standing up after Bucky let go of his hand, he’s missing the touch already.

“I can do it, you pick the movie, you’re the nerd here”, Bucky shrugs casually.

“I am not”, he mocks trying to sound offended.

“Steven, we are not going to fight over this”, Bucky says in his grown up voice.

“You sound like my mother, the microwave is in the corner of the counter”, Steve laughs as he walks over to pick a movie, and Bucky chuckles. He didn’t miss the way Bucky called him Steven, and it sounded just like he remembered, an overwhelming feeling taking over his body, just pure joy and happiness.

_I’m way over my head here._

Steve does feel guilty about Bucky, he remembers the incident like it was yesterday, the way that Bucky yelled and screamed in pain when he fell from that tree on the last week of their summer camp, _it’ll be fun_ , it sure wasn’t fun. Steve didn’t know what had happened to him after they took the agonizing child away in an ambulance to nearest hospital and nobody told him anything. He went back to Camp Lehigh the next year hoping to see his friend James but he wasn’t there, it had been a long summer without his best friend by his side, the next year he didn’t bother to go back and he never heard from his old pal ever again, until now apparently.

Steve sighs loudly and tries to clear his head, Bucky is right, he’s okay now and Steve doesn’t want his friend to think he feels pity for him, _I know about pity all right,_ he concentrates back into choosing a movie, “how do you feel about Pacific Rim?” he questions.

“Yes!” Bucky exclaims coming back from the kitchen and setting their plates back on the table.

Steve puts the movie on and they settle down to eat, he’s feeling way better, just him and Bucky, eating and watching a movie, hanging out as friends, _is not like he’d be interested in me._

By the middle of the movie, just when Otachi opens his wings and carries Gipsy Danger into outer space, “the badass Kaiju”, Bucky says, they are done with their food and the plates are set back on the table, Steve leans back into the couch and stretches a bit comfortably.

Next thing he knows, Bucky is grabbing a cushion from his side and puts it on Steve’s lap and rests his head on it, his body spread on the free space to their left but still staring back at the screen. Steve is frozen in place looking down at Bucky, his ear and the micro-dermals on his cheekbone, Bucky’s neck, his eyebrow and brown soft hair and _oh God, don’t have a boner, please_ , he looks back at the TV trying to distract himself.

Steve puts his left hand over the backrest of the couch and his right next to his thigh, and then Bucky is lifting his left arm over his head to reach for Steve’s right hand, he grabs it and places it on the top of his head.

_Does he want me to play with his hair? Oh, boy…_

***

Steve is brushing his hair and Bucky is melting into the touch, his fingers are gently massaging at the scalp and then his fingernails scratching softly and it feels amazing. _Shit, this is so good_. Bucky has to bite his bottom lip to prevent a moan that’s threatening to leave his mouth, the movie is almost ending but he doesn’t feel like moving any time soon.

“Bucky”, Steve whispers.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“I…I know about you and Brock”, the blond says and Bucky feels like he can’t breathe. _WHAT?_ He sits down, his legs still propped up in the couch, his back to the TV screen, he knows his hair is all over the place but he doesn’t care, he sees Steve straight in the eyes, he though he’ll see disgust in Steve’s eyes but it nothing like that, it’s more like, _sadness?_

“Who told you?” he demands, it comes out a little more aggressive that he intended. _Because I’m going to kill whoever did._

“Your sister, don’t be mad at her, I know her intentions weren’t bad”, Steve pleads and then continues, “listen, I don’t want to judge you if you’re thinking about going out with him again but I hope you know you deserve so much better”, the blond sighs heavily, “and as a friend I can’t stand by that, I care about you, I told you already”, he says as he fiddles with the cushion on his lap.

Bucky is quiet for a moment, _so that’s what he meant_ , at first he thinks about running away and never coming back, but he knows Steve’s telling him the truth, because for the first time in forever he feels safe in someone else’s house, he feels like he could tell Steve everything and not be judged, he feels like he’s where he’s suppose to be, he feels like he belongs there.

He stares at Steve and shakes his head as he chuckles a little, that draws the blond’s attention back to him, “thanks”, she smiles warmly, “and don’t worry, I don’t plan on going back to him, not now and not ever”, Bucky says quickly and Steve sighs in relief, he could swear he feels the weight being lifted from Steve’s shoulders, but he doesn’t understand why _._

 _I’m sure we’re friends,_ _but why does he care so much?_

The brunet rests his head back into Steve’s lap and they resume watching what’s left of the movie in comfortable silence, the credits just start to roll moments later and something pops back into his mind. Steve probably though he was going back to Brock because he saw them kissing, _but he didn’t see the whole thing_ , he needs to tell Steve that he is not that stupid, that he understands that Brock is bad for him.

Both of them are staring at the screen when Bucky decides to open his mouth again, “you know, I didn’t want to kiss Brock that day, he was drunk and being a little too handsy, he practically forced his tongue down my throat”, he says in a dismissive tone. Steve’s hands go still from where he was brushing his hair with his fingers and then he’s missing the touch, feeling cold all the sudden.

Bucky turns his head to look up at Steve and he has both of his hands covering his face, he sits down again slowly, “Steve, what’s wrong?” he asks.

The blond says something without lowering his hands from his face and he can’t understand a word, “what was that?” he questions and then Steve says the same muffled words.

“Steve, buddy, I can’t understand what you’re saying when you still have your hands on your face”, Bucky chuckles a bit.

Steve lowers his hands and stares down immediately, then he looks up to meet Bucky’s eyes, “I said I’m sorry”, he huffs, and Bucky realizes is crying, Steve is fucking crying.

“Hey”, Bucky says kindly getting closer to Steve, he wipes away a tear that’s falling down Steve’s cheek with his thumb, “you don’t have to be sorry, you couldn’t have known what happened, it’s not your fault” he assures.

“Yes, but I just assumed and I shouldn’t have”, Steve shakes his head frantically more tears falling down from his eyes.

_This is the worst thing I have ever witnessed._

“Steve, don’t cry”, he pleads. Steve put his hands back on his face, Bucky kneels next to him and hugs him tightly, wrapping his arms around the blond’s neck along with his hands, “you’re going to make me cry, and you don’t want to see that, I’m such an ugly crier”, he says against Steve’s hair and Bucky breaths in as much as he can, thankfully Steve chuckles a little at his comments.

_This man._

***

When Bucky releases his neck, he wipes away the remaining tears, he wasn’t expecting to cry, _this is just embarrassing_ , but after Bucky told him about Brock he couldn’t fight the tears back, and finally he sighs slowly feeling his heartbeat going back to normal.

“I’ll tell you what, I’m going to pinky promise you that I will never go back to Brock”, Bucky wiggles his pinky finger at him and Steve laughing loudly, “I’m being serious, Steve, I don’t do pinky promises that often, this is a huge deal”, he continues and Steve laughs even more.

_How can he make me cry a second and the other laugh like an idiot?_

“Okay then”, Steve says, finally interlocking his pinky finger with Bucky’s.

“That’s more like it”, Bucky smiles, a big ear to ear grin, Cheshire cat like and Steve’s smile is as big as Bucky’s.

“Now that we have the embarrassing moments covered, do you want to watch another movie?” Steve offers smirking.

Bucky takes his phone out of his pocket and checks the clock, “I’d love to but it’s kinda late, I know we both have to wake up early tomorrow”, the brunet sighs.

“What time is it?” Steve wonders.

“It’s past 12”, Bucky informs.

“Really? Damn”, he shakes his head.

“I know, so I think I better head home”, he shrugs, “but I had a great time, you know” Bucky bumps his shoulder into Steve’s.

“Yeah, me too, aside from the crying”, he chuckles.

_This is going to haunt me forever._

“If it helps, you’re a cute crier”, the guy smirks.

“I don’t get how you can be an ugly or a cute crier, what’s the difference?” Steve comments confused.

They stand up from the couch and walk to the door side by side, Steve opens it and steps outside into the little porch, “trust me pal, you’ll know an ugly crier when you see one”, Bucky giggles.

“Whatever you say”, Steve shrugs and waits until Bucky unlocks his bike.

The brunet places his fixie down the little stairs and goes back up, he’s standing really close to Steve now, “thank Steve, really”, he says as he embraces him into a hug, and sure Steve wasn’t expecting it, but he did hug him back, a bit awkwardly but it was there, a bit short but sweet. Bucky let go first, the guy is smiling as he walks down the stairs, he looks back standing by his bike, “text me?” he asks over his shoulder.

“Sure, good night”, Steve nods, Bucky hops on and off he goes, “let me know when you get home!” the blond shouts after him and lifts one to wave back at him.

Steve closes the door and Captain comes to where he’s standing, “Cap, what do I do? He’s way out of my league”, his dog just tilts his head like he understood and Steve sighs deeply.

***

_Maybe I should just ask him if he’s into men, but I’m not sure if I’ll be ready if he says he is but he’s not interested in me. Ugghhh, I hate feelings!_

Bucky arrives home and Natasha is already in bed, he tries not to do much noise and goes to the kitchen to drink a glass of water, while he sips on his drink he pulls out his phone and sends the text he requested. He gulps down the water quickly and walks to his bedroom, gets rid of his clothes and puts on some cozy pants and a sweatshirt and gets inside the covers.

 **Bucky:** I’m home, ate a few mosquitoes on my way here but aside from that, not much happened :D

 **Steve:** Hey, I read somewhere that some insects are high in protein, not sure about mosquitoes though.

 **Bucky:** Eeeewww, do I wanna know how you found out about that?

 **Steve:** If you’re asking, I haven’t eaten any bugs

 **Steve:** Yet :)

 **Bucky:** Just eww!

 **Bucky:** Although, I do remember one time back at the Camp, this redhead kid dared you to eat an ant.

 **Steve:** Oh, that’s right! It was crunchy, yummm!

 **Bucky:** No, no, no, I don’t wanna hear about this

 **Steve:** Technically, you’re reading :p

 **Bucky:** Shut up, smart ass x)

 **Steve:** I’m not even talking! c:

 **Bucky:** I can’t with you, you’re funny Steve Rogers

 **Steve:** Oh, you didn’t know? I’m actually a clown on the weekends, red nose and everything.

 **Bucky:** I wouldn’t be surprised, and I bet you’re pretty fucking good at it too.

 **Steve:** Thanks?

 **Bucky:** You are very welcome ;)

The brunet waited a couple of minutes for a reply but when it didn’t comeback he started to feel anxious, he’s not sure if Steve took the compliment wrong or what but he hopes he didn’t made him feel awkward.

 **Bucky:** I’m going to sleep now, have a good night.

 **Steve:** Thanks, you too :)

He stays awake for a while after that just looking up at the dark ceiling, replaying on his head everything that happed tonight, he sure hates the sad look on Steve’s face, and he was going to make it his life mission to make the blond smile more often. He reads the bunch of messages they just exchanged and he grins like an idiot, and imagines Steve lying in his bed smiling too.

Maybe Steve isn’t interested in Bucky like he is but the blonde said he cares about him, because he’s a nice guy, _he’s a good friend like that, right?_


	23. Chapter 23

It’s Friday past noon, Steve’s about to work on a girl who wants to get tattooed the Crisis Heart Compact on her chest, “yes, from Sailor Moon”, the girl nods enthusiastically. _Classic._

Steve sighs deeply, he doesn’t mind doing these types of tattoos but he definitely prefers doing some of his own artwork, anyway, he’s in a good mood today, so he agrees on doing it. 

The day goes on smoothly, the girl is holding on pretty well, he figures they should take a break after a while. He goes to the back to look for some juice in the fridge, thankfully there’s some. He takes a protein bar from the counter and goes to the front to talk to Darcy and check his schedule for the rest of the day.

“Hey Stevie Wonder, how’s it going with the Sailor Girl?” the brunette questions.

“You do realize I’m the opposite of Stevie Wonder, right?” he asks looking down at the notebook where Darcy logs his appointments, she’s always bothering him that he should get a tablet, “It would be more proactive, dude”, she always says.

_Can you blame me for being a little old school?_

“Yeah, but I needed a nickname and that’s the only one I could come up with at the moment, let me be”, she shrugs, “the girl?” Darcy remembers.

“She’s doing pretty well, we’re almost done actually”, he comments

As he keeps browsing through the pages of the notebook, he feels a buzz inside the pocket of his jeans; it’s an email from the cinema’s newsletter on the new movies this weekend. _Yes, I am subscribed, whatever_. He sees that they’re still screening ‘Annabelle’ and remembers he hasn’t watched it, he figures he should text Bucky to ask if he wants to go see it later.

“By the way, you’re last appointment of the day cancelled this morning, the guy who wanted to get an hour glass or something like that”, Darcy informs.

“Oh yes, Pietro, did he said why?” he wonders.

“Something about his twin and a ritual, I don’t even know man”, she chuckles, “is that his real name?” Darcy sounds intrigued.

“Yes, if you think that’s funny, his sister’s name is Wanda”, Steve informs with a shrug.

“You’re kidding, are their parents the Fairly Oddparents or something?” the bubbly brunette giggles.

“No, but their father is indeed an odd fella”, Steve laughs along with her.

“You have the weirdest clients, I don’t even want to ask where you met their dad”, she shakes her head, “anyhow, how’s your hot boy doing?” she asks as she types something on the computer.

“My who?” Steve is confused. _Hot boy?_

“You know, Bucky. Who else, dork?” She smirks teasingly.

“My hot…” he shakes his head, “Darcy, Bucky and I are just friends”, he says trying not to sound sad.

“Yeah, right and I was born yesterday”, she quirks an eyebrow at him, “someone would have to be blind not to notice you’re dying for that guy, I don’t blame you, he’s gorgeous”, Darcy says still not looking away from the computer screen and a loud “hey” comes from the back of the shop and she smirks, _Loki_. Steve is blushing, tomato red blushing.

_Am I seriously that obvious?_

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about”, he lies, or at least tries to.

“Sure, go on, go finish with the Sailor Girl”, she waves at him and he does as told and turns around.

Steve trots to the back and drinks a large glass of water trying to calm himself and his blushing, _that’s why they’re always telling me I’m a blushing virgin_. He goes to finish the girl’s tattoo, and as soon as he’s done, he takes a picture of it and sends it to Bucky; he knows the guy is into anime, manga and that sort of things.

***

Steve and him have been texting all week, asking what the other is doing, how the day is going, cracking jokes about Tony and that time he gave Pepper the most ridiculous and huge teddy bear he could find, and Steve’s weird request from his clients, and some other random stuff.

He knows he can’t be more than friends, Bucky remembers his life before he met Steve and he doesn’t want to go back to that, _ever again_. It doesn’t matter if he needs to settle with just being friends.

Bucky’s been at the Stark Tower all morning, he’s concentrated with work when his phone buzzes, and it’s a text message, _scratch that_ , it’s an image message. Bucky stares at the picture and smiles a little, it’s a picture of the Crisis Heart Compact freshly tattooed on a girl’s chest.

 **Steve:** I just did this on a 22 year old

 **Bucky:** OMG that’s amazing, that is the best! :D

 _I’m such a fanboy_.

Bucky blushes a little bit because he realizes that Steve was thinking about him while he was tattooing this, _but it’s not like he was thinking ABOUT ME_. Steve remembered Bucky said he liked anime Steve is nice like that. The blond is always paying attention to everything Bucky says to him no matter how stupid or boring it might be. Steve loving, caring and genuine, because he’s a good person, because that’s what friends do, _right?_

 **Steve:** Yeah, I thought you might like it :D anyway, what time do you get off from work?

 **Bucky:** Somewhere around 6 :c

 **Steve:** Sweet, do you want to go to the movies? My last appointment canceled so I’ll get off early today :)

 **Bucky:** Sounds good, what are we watching?

 **Steve:** I was thinking about ‘Annabelle’, I haven’t watched it, you?

 **Bucky:** Oh yes! I haven’t seen it either, although I must warn you, I might jump and hug you :B

 **Steve:** That’s fine, just don’t make me drop my popcorn :p

Bucky sighs at the thought, Steve hugging him when he’s scared, going out with him, holding his hand, Steve helping him put his shoulder brace on, _fuck, I’m such a sap_. He shakes his head trying to clear his mind.

 **Bucky:** You’ve been warned. I’ll see you there at 6:30, yes?

 **Steve:** Okay, later :)

“Whom are you talking to?” Tony leans against the doorframe of his office.

“Nobody”, he answers plainly.

“I’ve been watching you for the past 5 minutes looking down at your phone and smiling like an idiot, not that you don’t look like an idiot all the time”, Tony smirks.

“Sure Tony”, he waves a hand at him.

“Seriously though, is this nobody your boyfriend, or at least someone you like?” the man wonders walking towards him.

“What do you care Tony?” Bucky asks.

“I’m offended, are you seriously not going to tell me”, Tony tried to sound hurt. _And failed._

“It’s just a friend”, Bucky manages to say before Tony is launching himself at Bucky to grab his cellphone, they fight over it but Tony elbows his ribs making him lose his grip and Tony snatches it from his hand, Bucky sighs in defeat.

Tony looks at the screen for a bit, he tilts his head a little and hands it back, “this is just Steve”, he shrugs.

“I don’t know whom you were expecting”, he says fixing the wrinkles of his shirt.

“Wait a second, you like Steve”, Tony looks puzzled.

“No, I don’t”, he says way too fast, _way too fast._

“I don’t blame you”, the man with the goatee smirks, “I mean, I have Pepper and she’s the love of my life, believe me, but she knows I have a little crush on the guy, I have eyes”, Tony informs.

“He’s just a friend Tony, really”, Bucky insists.

“Yeah, I guess I believe you, I don’t believe he swings this way, sucks to be you” Tony chuckles.

“Tell me about it”, Bucky sighs deeply.

“Anyway, I’ll let you go back to work and your day dreaming about a certain tight ass blond”, Tony wiggles his eyebrows.

“Tony!” Bucky yells.

“Oh c’mon, like you haven’t stared at his ass”, is the last thing Tony says before he leaves.

_He does have a great ass._

***

Steve parks outside the cinema on the sidewalk by the area assigned for bike parking, he walks towards the entrance and smiles when he spots Bucky’s bike. He goes to the box office to buy their tickets but Bucky, who’s holding a pair of tickets to Steve’s face, intercepts him.

“Got them”, Bucky smiles. _Look at him._

“Oh, sweet, how much do I owe you?” he asks as he pull his wallet out from his back pocket.

“It’s nothing, don’t be silly”, he waves a hand at him.

“Bucky....” He whines.

“Steeeeeeeeeve”, Bucky singsongs.

“Okay, but I’ll buy the popcorn”, he informs.

“Sure pal, let’s go”, he says as he pulls Steve by the arm.

The blond is excited, _like almost jumping up and down excited_ , he’s doing one of his favorite things with one of his favorite people, the thought about Bucky and movies made him feel lightheaded.

Since he claimed straight edge he had a problem going to parties, not that he couldn’t enjoy them, or that he didn’t find his drunk friends funny, it was the people that always patronized him for choosing a better lifestyle for himself and told him it was only because he thought he was better that other people because of it. _Bullshit._

Steve will never think he’s better than anyone, but still a lot of people try to make him feel guilty for it, trying to shove beers and alcohol bottles at him, “just a tiny sip, Steve, it won’t hurt anybody”, that’s what they always say; he finds it annoying that people never respect what he wants for himself but he can’t say a thing about them drinking too much because he’s being a party pooper. _Whatever._

That’s why he prefers to fill his free time with art, movies, music and friends, the things he really enjoys in life, and now there’s Bucky. _Bucky._

“So, what do you want?” Steve asks as they walk to the line for the counter where they sell the popcorn and snacks.

“Mmm, I want popcorn, Reese’s, gummy bears, Twizzlers, nachos, cotton candy aaaaaaaaand a Diet Coke”, he jokes rubbing his chin with his thumb and index finger thoughtfully.

“Are you sure you can handle that much carbs in less than 2 hours?” he asks as he pulls out his wallet.

“I’m kidding! Were you going to buy all that?” he asks surprised.

“If you want all that, yes”, the blond says with a frown.

“I’m telling you, you’re something else”, Bucky shakes his head as they wait for their turn in the line.

_I still don’t know what that means._

When it’s finally their turn to order, they’re greeted by a cheering brunette girl, who’s probably in her mid twenties too, “hello, what can I get for you?” she smiles wide.

“I’ll have an ICEE, cherry please”, Steve says.

“Ooh, I want an ICCE too but I can never finish it by myself”, Bucky pouts popping his bottom lip out and Steve chuckles.

“We can share one if you don’t mind”, he offers.

“Okay”, Bucky nods and put his elbows on the counter and rests his chin on the heels of his hands cupping his face. They girl is staring at Steve patiently and Bucky clears his throat.

“And also popcorn, please?” Steve says.

“Right away”, she nods at them and Bucky winks at the girl, she blushes a little before she walks away.

“She likes you”, Bucky comments, not turning back to look at him.

“What?” Steve wonders in surprise.

Before Bucky has a chance to explain anything, the girl comes back with their bucket of popcorn, “here you go, can I get you anything else?” she asks Steve.

“I’m fine, do you want something else Bucky?” he turns his head to ask his friend, and Bucky won’t keep his eyes off the girl in front of them.

“Yes, I do want some Twizzlers”, he nods, “do you think you can get me some, doll?” Bucky asks the girl bating his crazy long eyelashes at her. If Steve wasn’t sure that Bucky is gay, “like rainbow gay” were Natasha’s words, he could swear that Bucky is flirting with this girl.

_What is he doing?_

***

“Thanks”, Bucky smirks giving the girl a little wave as they walked away from the counter.

They just ordered their snacks and now they’re walking towards the respective room, he was a little annoyed, _or maybe a lot_ , seeing right in front of him as a girl drools all over for the guy he wants, _not on my watch, honey_. The couple walks in in silence as they reach their seats, Steve is holding the ICEE in one hand and his Twizzlers on the other, and Bucky is carrying the bucket of popcorn holding it tightly with both of his hands.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks him.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” he returns.

“I don’t know, you seemed kind of lost for a little bit”, the blond comments.

“I’m fine, don’t worry”, he smiles a little as they sit down, Steve takes the seat on the right. _I’m fucking jealous, that’s all._

“Remember I told you I might jump a little? The warning still stands”, Bucky comments, finally feeling a little relaxed.

“And I said it’s fine”, Steve smiles. _That stupid sweet smile._

The lights start to dim and he needs an excuse to look at Steve in this light, he turns his head to face him, “what movie are we watching again?” he leans in to ask him.

“Bucky!” Steve exclaims before he sips at their shared ICCE.

“I’m kidding, jeez”, he chuckles as the commercials begin to play.

The movie starts and everything is going alright so far, nothing too scary happens on the first half of the movie, the bucket remains on Bucky’s lap and Steves just extends his arm to reach for the popcorn without looking away from the screen.

Bucky is paying attention to the movie when he hears Steve fiddling with the Twizzlers packet to open it, the guy takes one and hands the rest to Bucky. When the scary parts begin Bucky feels a bit jumpy, Steve’s left arm is up in the armrest when a really frightening scene makes him grab a hold of Steve’s arm, squeezing it a digging his nails at Steve’s hoodie, as the scene ceases he lets it go slowly.

“I’m sorry”, he whispers at the blonde’s ear.

“It’s okay”, Steve murmurs back smiling a little and shakes his head, but he doesn’t look away from the screen.

The same thing happens a few more times, sometimes squeezing too tight but Steve never seems to mind. As the movie is coming to an end, he intends to grab the ICEE to take a sip but he bumps with Steve’s hand that is trying to do the same, “you go” Steve says.

“No it’s fi-“ Bucky starts to say but Steve interrupts.

“C’mon”, the blond insists.

He takes a sip of their ICEE and hands it back to Steve, their fingers brushing a little, he watches as Steve wraps his lips around the straw, his cheeks hollowed when he sucks and Bucky feels his mouth water, the blond is lost in the movie but Bucky can’t keep his eyes away from him.

_Shit, shit, shit._

He manages to concentrate before the movie ends, just in case Steve wants to talk about the end, he needs to know how the movie ends instead of trying to explain why he didn’t pay attention.

_I didn’t watch the end of the movie because you sucking a straw distracted me, want to suck my dick?_

_Yeah, I don’t think so._

The credits are rolling now, they wait in their seats while the other people clear the room, they are the last ones to leave, finally standing up a few minutes later and walk towards the door, the popcorn is finished by now but Steve is still carrying the ICEE cup.

“Did you like it?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, it was cool”, he nods, “sorry if I mutilated your arm a little”, Bucky apologizes.

“Its okay, it wasn’t that bad”, Steve shrugs as he takes a sip of ICEE.

“I’m starving”, Bucky informs.

“Yeah, me too, we should go to the café and grab something”, Steve suggests.

The friends are walking towards the lobby when they hear someone calling for them; both of them turn around to face the familiar voices. It’s Natasha who has her arm hooked around Clint’s, and Sam with the girl he has seen working at SHIELD that also was at Howards’ party.

“Hey bozos!” Natasha yells at them.

“You’re so nice Natalia”, Bucky says.

“You know it”, she shrugs.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” Steve asks politely.

“Everything cool, how you been? It’s been like forever, man”, Sam comments.

“I know, sorry, I’ve been busy with work and stuff”, Steve offers an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, just don’t get lost”, Sam points a finger at Steve, “Hey Bucky, let me introduce you to my GIRLFRIEND”, he says putting extra attention to the word and turns to face the blonde girl next to him, “Sharon, this is Bucky”, Sam nods.

“Hello”, he smiles and shakes the girl’s hand.

“I’ve seen you before”, she smirks, “you‘re with the Howling Commandos, also work at Stark’s, right?” she asks.

“That’s right, miss”, he chuckles.

***

“So, girlfriend eh?” Steve asks raising an eyebrow at the couple. _That’s a new one._

“Yes, we’re double dating here, you’d know this already if you weren’t so busy all the time”, Sam smiles wide.

“Well, congratulations, I guess”, Steve shrugs.

“What did you two lammos watched?” Clint asks.

“We watched ‘Annabelle’”, Bucky informs.

“I heard it’s cool”, Sharon comments.

“It’s okay, what did you guys saw?” Steve wonders.

“We watched ‘The Book of Life’, it’s so cute” Natasha says.

“Who are you and what did you do with my best friend?” Bucky exclaims. _Exactly._

“Oh, shut up!” she bumps her shoulder to Bucky’s, and their friends giggle a bit.

“I heard the animation is great”, Steve comments.

“I want to see it, can we watch it next time?” Bucky says to him as he pulls at Steve’s sleeve before he points at the ICEE that is almost done by now, he hands it to the brunet and earns a questioning look from Sam, the blond just tries to ignore him.

_There’ll be a next time? We can watch whatever you want._

“Anyway, Sharon and I better head off”, Sam says.

They walk outside the theater and say their goodbyes to Sam and Sharon, the remaining four talk about the new couple for a little bit standing there, “I don’t know about you losers but I’m hungry”, Natasha says.

“We were planning on going to the café before you guys showed up”, Bucky comments.

“That sounds like a plan, see you there”, Natasha shrugs as she starts pulling Clint to start walking towards the café.

Steve walks Bucky to where his bike is chained and waits until he unlocks it, “hey, last one buys diner”, Bucky yells over his shoulder as he takes off.

The blond shakes his head and laughs, he walks to his motorcycle and starts the engine not even worrying to try to win, _it’s not like I mind buying Bucky’s diner._

When Steve gets to the café that is a few blocks away, Bucky is locking his bike giving him a mischievous grin, “you cheated”, Steve yells pointing a finger at him as he takes off his helmet.

They reach front door and Steve opens it for Bucky, Natasha and Clint are already sitting in one of the booths in the back, “it’s not my fault you’re so slow, old man”, Bucky says to him as they walk to their friends who are laughing at something.

“C’mon James, let’s go order our food”, Natasha grabs his arm by the arm. Bucky put his hand out to Steve like he was asking for something. _Oh right, the dinner._

“Fine”, Steve rolls his eyes in disagreement, pulling out a 20 dollars bill from his wallet and hands it to Bucky defeated.

“What do you want?” Natasha asks Steve, she doesn’t need to ask what Clint wants.

“I know what he wants, he always orders the same shitty chicken breast sandwich”, he waves a hand at him in dismissal.

“Don’t talk about my food like that, I don’t run on sugar like you do”, Steve laughs pointing a finger at him before he sits down in the booth in front of Clint, he looks down at the table and lets a loud sigh as he runs a hand through his blond hair.

“I didn’t know you guys were dating”, Clint says finally, Steve looks up to see Clint’s eyebrows raised up almost touching his hairline. _Right, Clint was here._

“What?” Steve asks confused.

“Bucky and you”, he nods, “Sam and I kinda guessed but I wondered when you were planning on telling us”, his friend shrugs.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about”, Steve shakes his head.

_Bucky? Dating?_

“C’mon Steve, I might be deaf but I’m not blind, everybody knows you like Bucky since the first time you saw him”, Clint fiddles with the napkin on the table shredding it to small pieces. Steve stares at his friend, mouth slightly open. They are silent for a moment, he looks to his side to see that Bucky and Natasha are talking by the counter waiting for their food.

“Clint, Bucky and I are not dating”, Steve looks down at his hands. _As if._

Clint stares at him for a moment, his expression unreadable and Steve is starting to feel nervous. He wants to hear something, anything, Clint yelling at him for falling for a man he can’t have, a man that will never be interested in him, someone who’ll never see him as more than a friend.

“You’re serious”, Clint opens his eyes wide.

“I don’t understand why would you think I’m-", Steve sighs.

“Steve, it seems to me that you two are dating and the only ones that don’t know it are you idiots”, Clint points a finger at his chest.

“I don’t get why you say that, I find it hard to understand why you think Bucky would be interested in someone like me”, he huffs heavily.

“Someone like you? What is that suppose to mean?” Clint sounds angry.

The sound of Natasha’s voice is a little closer now; Steve looks to his left to see that Bucky and her are coming back, _saved by the bell_. He doesn’t want to explain to Clint why he thinks he isn’t enough for Bucky, how his dull and uninteresting self will bore the guy to death, a guy who’s funny, charming, and outgoing.

“We’ll continue this conversation later, with Sam”, Clint warns and turns his head to offer a smile to their friends that are closer to the table.

***

As soon as Natasha and him left to order their food he was regretting it, she had that serious look on her face, _the Russian assassin look,_ like Bucky calls it, “you have the worst puppy eyes when you’re around him, it’s pathetic”, she says looking at the menu on top of the counter.

“I do not”, he huffs.

“James, since the moment you said he was meh I knew you were gone for the guy, I just wish you would stop lying to yourself”, she comments plainly.

The girl on the counter takes their order, saying it might take a while but they decide to wait there; they are quiet for a bit, Bucky tries to wrap his head around the fact that Natasha is right, _as usual_. He’s gone, crazy, and madly falling for the kind, caring, loving person that Steve is, _not to mention he’s hot as fuck._

“I don’t even think he’s interested in men”, Bucky says sadly.

“Are you sure about that?” she questions.

_What?_

“Even if he was, he wouldn’t be interested in me”, he sighs and continues, “he knows about Brock, Natalia, Becky told him”, he shakes his head.

She was silent again, her expression unreadable but she finally opens her mouth after a minute, “how did he take it?” she wonders.

“Well, at first I couldn’t place it and then he looked angry and sad and…” he sighs loudly, “I don’t even know”, Bucky shrugs.

“You should talk to him and say what you feel, for a change”, she pokes the middle of his chest with a finger.

“And say what? ‘Hey, I’m your gay friend, I like you a lot, wanna make out?’” he says in a mocking voice and she laughs.

“You’ll be surprised”, she smirks as she hands him their food baskets.

They are walking back to the table and Clint gives them a smile and Steve looks, _worried?_ Steve scoots on the booth making room for him to sit down, he smiles at him and Steve offers a small smile in return, _what was he talking about with Clint that made him so unsettled?_

The friends chat for a moment while they eat, random things about the new employers at The Nest, the funny nicknames that Tony is always making up for Bucky, Steve talks about Loki and Darcy being adorable and weird at the same time, Natasha and the new cross fit area she wants to incorporate on the Red Room.

“Oh yeah, Steve, I heard about the photo-shoot with Peter, right-on”, Clint says before he takes a large bite of his sandwich. _What photo-shoot?_

“I still think I’m going to look like a dumbass”, Steve chuckles bitterly. _Bullshit, you can never look like a dumbass._

“That is not true, I think you’ll look pretty badass”, Natasha says as she submerges a French fry on the ketchup, she must have noticed the look of confusion in Bucky’s face, “Steve here is going to model for Peter’s school project, the photos are going to be the new publicity campaign for the Red Room” she explains pointing at Steve with the French fry before eating it. _Model, huh?_

“Peter is the skinny hipster kid that also rides a fixie and always carries around his camera and is obsessed with spiders?” Bucky wonders before taking a sip of his second pumpkin spice latte, _because it’s fucking delicious, thank you very much._

“That’s the one, you couldn’t have described him better”, Clint cries in laughter, as soon as he calms himself, “he’s our child, mine and Sam’s, he’s one of the recent additions over at The Nest” he adds proudly. _Steve exercising._

“I thought if you ever had a child with Sam it would be more like a bird”, Steve comments earning a high pitch laugh from Natasha. _Steve’s tight clothes._

“You guys indeed have a birds theme going on”, She chuckles. _Steve sweating._

“You can’t blame us, they’re majestic creatures”, Clint said earnest. _Steve grunting._

“I didn’t know about this, why?” Bucky asks finally, _and why are we talking about birds?_

“What do you mean? Is the only thing he always talks about”, Natasha answers bumping her shoulder at Clint’s.

“I didn’t mean the birds, I’m talking about the photo-shoot”, he corrects, “I’m also a co-owner of the Red Room, I need to know about these things”, Bucky informs. _Because I want to see this photo-shoot._

“It can be someone else if you don’t want me to-” Steve is saying, “you are not getting away from this, Rogers”, Natasha yells at him. _Thank you, Natalia._

“When and what time is this photo-shoot?” Bucky asks looking at Steve.

***

“Sunday at 9 a.m.”, Natasha answers with a nod.

“Good thing I don’t have anything on Sunday”, Bucky comments.

“You... are you going?” Steve blushes. _Shit, shit, shit._

“Yes, he’ll be there, even if I have to drag his ass out of bed”, Natasha says and Clint laughs.

_Great, now Bucky is going to see me looking disgusting in a pool of my own sweat and smelling like roadkill, wonderful._

After that, Natasha talks a little about some shoot she wants and all Steve can do is nod, Bucky is going to be there on Sunday and there’s no way he can change that. They finish their dinner and drinks moments after and went out into the night.

“James, Clint and I are going out for some drinks, do you want to go?” she wonders.

“No, I’m really tired, I’m going to head home, have fun”, he says and waves his friends goodbye.

Steve walks Bucky to his bike again, “I guess I’ll see you on Sunday”, the brunet smiles.

“Yeah, I guess”, Steve shrugs, “goodnight”, Steve says before he starts walking away to his motorcycle, the he turns around abruptly to get Bucky’s attention, “hey Buck, don’t expect anything good from Sunday, it’ll probably be a mess, I don’t know why Natasha insist on me doing it”, he warns.

“Steve, I’m sure you’ll be fine, don’t worry about it, I’ll see on Sunday”, Bucky winks before turning around his bike and drives away.

***

When Bucky arrives home he strips quickly off of his clothes walking to the bathroom, leaving a trail of fabric behind him, he’s sweating and tired but he needs to clear his mind before going to bed, or the though of Steve exercising won’t make him rest in peace.

If he masturbates inside the shower, whimpering and moaning Steve’s name, nobody is there to see or listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A non-date date, yay! :D
> 
> P.S. If you know someone who's straight edge, don't make fun of them for choosing that lifestyle, please and thank you <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Photo-shoot! YAYYYY!
> 
> Sorry I didn't uploaded a new chapter at the beginning of the week but since this one is a bit longer, I decided to wait.
> 
> I hope I don't disappoint (:
> 
> Also, thank you for the 100+ kuddos, we love youuuuuu!

It’s the day of the photo-shoot and Steve’s been up since 6 a.m. because _yes, I’m nervous, okay? Let me be._ He’s going through his closet to find his workout clothes, Natasha informed him the previous day that she was going to choose his outfit and not to worry about that, but he still feels like he needs to take some of his own clothes just in case.

He prepares a protein shake, grabs a granola bar and goes to get Captain’s leash for a quick walk, but they only do a few laps on Steve’s block because he doesn’t want to get too tired beforehand. They reach the house minutes after and Steve opens the door to let his friend go back inside.

“Hey buddy, I’m going to be a model today, what do you think about that?” he says to his dog, Cap just stares at him and tilts his head a little, “I know Cap, it’s weird isn’t?” Steve chuckles before moving to where he keeps Captain’s food and water plates to check if he needs a refill.

Steve walks into the kitchen to make some proper breakfast, after food is cooked and drinks served, he grabs his sketchbook before he sits down on the table to eat, as soon as he’s done with his food he settles down to do some quick sketches to pass the time, he draws Captain on his bed, Bucky’s hands holding his Gibson DJ Ashba, he remembers watching Sword in the Stone the night before so he draws Merlin and Archimedes, he also sketches a cartoony Frankenstein and chuckles a bit. He checks his phone to see the time, it’s 8:30 a.m. so he figures he needs get going, it’s true he’s not that much excited about this whole thing but he doesn’t want to be late.

***

Bucky wakes up early for a change; _7:00 a.m. is early, right?_ He’s excited, he’s going to see Steve working out today and _oh boy, I need a cold shower._ He walks to his closet to find what to wear, as soon as he’s out of his room and heading to the bathroom he nearly bumps into Natasha.

“Wow, you’re up early, I was about to go wake you up”, she says surprised.

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep much” he shrugs.

“Why? You excited to see Steve working out”, she winks. _Yes, and too busy masturbating._

“I’m going to take a shower now”, he informs as he closes the door.

He’s showering and humming happily, he’s thinking about what he has with Steve, beside the feelings for the guy, he realizes that this friendship is one of the best things that has happened to him in a long time and he’s grateful for it.

The brunet takes extra time washing his hair because, _damn, when was the last time I showered?_ He shaves and cleans up pretty well, he tries to do something with his hair for a change and slicks it back with a comb and some hair wax, _if Steve is going to look steamy hot at least I have to look decent._

“Damn, princess, you look good”, Natasha whistles at him when he walks out of the bathroom.

“I know, right? Although, I always look good”, he winks.

“Whatever, I’m going to take a quick shower and we’ll go on our way”, she nods.

“But mom, I haven’t had any breakfast yet”, he pouts exaggeratedly.

“You whiny baby, go eat some cereal, we’ll have some real lunch over there”, she closes the door.

***

Steve arrives at the Red Room ten minutes before nine, when he enters the place his eyes open wide to the setting in front oh him: tripods, light stands, umbrellas, reflectors, strobe lights, the whole thing. _I guess this is serious_.

“Good morning!” Peter yells from across the room where he’s kneeled in front of a light stand, “Wade, be careful with that, it’s school property”, he says to a guy holding a professional camcorder.

“You know I can handle all of your equipment”, the guy winks at Peter.

“No! I don’t, I don’t know!” Peter says back.

“Well, now you know, honey”, the other man assures, and comes walking towards Steve, “I’m Wade, you must be Steve”, he says, “you’re hot, I’m not, sorry”, he stretches his hand to Steve, the blond blushes and shakes the kid’s hand but he doesn’t let go for a moment, he’s in shock because of Wade’s forwardness, “if you don’t let me go, I’m gonna lick your hand”, Wade warns and Steve lets go quickly.

Wade goes to manipulate a microphone to put on the camera and Peter approaches him, “I’m sorry about him, he’s a lot to handle but he practically invited himself, so I guess some extra hands can be useful”, he says with an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, he took me by surprise, that’s all”, Steve shrugs and turns around when he hears Bucky and Natasha entering the place. _Oh shit, look at him._

“Wow, it’s raining men, hallelujah!” Wade whistles, “and hot redhead women too”, he walks to them.

“Hey Wade”, Natasha waves, “this is Bucky”, she points at the brunet with her thumb before she leaves to head to her office.

“Hello there”, Wade extends his hand and Bucky stares at it, “I don’t have a skin condition, this is just burn scars, I swear”, Wade says waving his hand.

“What’s up, man”, Bucky shakes his hand.

“Wade, come help me with this”, Peter demands.

“I’m going, sweetie”, Wade giggles walking towards Peter.

“Well, that was weird”, Bucky sighs, “hey”, he smiles taking off his coat and scarf.

“Hi”, Steve grins back. _He looks perfect._

Bucky is wearing all black, tight skinny jeans, boots, and a loose ‘Black Flag’ well worn t-shirt with the neck cut off, maybe a size too big, it shows Bucky’s collarbones, his hair is combed back and skin smooth like he just shaved, the micro-dermals bright and a new lip piercing, _he looks so young like this, and I’m here staring looking like an idiot._

“You changed your lip ring”, he comments pointing at Bucky’s lip.

“Oh yeah, you noticed”, Bucky smirks, “I got bored with the plain silver, I figured a black one would be good for a change”, he says fiddling with it with his teeth.

“It looks good”, he says shyly.

 _Don’t blush. It’s just a compliment to a friend, keep it cool_.

“Thanks”, Bucky says with a Cheshire cat smile.

“Steve, can you come here for a second?” Natasha pokes her head out from her office. Steve could swear he heard Bucky sighing behind him.

He walks towards the door to find her holding out with one finger a piece of clothing, offering it to him, “you’re wearing this”, his friend says plainly.

Steve takes it from her hand and extends it with both hands, his eyes open wide, “Natasha, I can’t wear it, these are compression shorts, they’re suppose to be for underneath the-”, he shakes his head but gets interrupted by the redhead.

“It wasn’t a question, Rogers”, she warns, “if you’re worried about your package showing up, then don’t, they’re Under Armour Clutch Fit, you’re welcome”, she says lifting an eyebrow at him, “this were sent to me by a friend, they’re amazing, they’ll look great, suck it up”, she shrugs.

“These are medium, I’m not a size medium”, he says in panic. _This is too small._

“You are now, go put them on, you can put your shorts on top of that for now, just for now I repeat”, the girl points a finger at him, “Peter wants to ask you some things before we start”, she demands, “oh, and no shirt on”, she adds quickly.

Steve walks to the changing rooms to put on what Natasha gave him, then his shorts on top, he sighs deeply falling down on the bench next to his duffel bag, _just get it over with._ He takes off his shirt and places it back in his bag; he stands up and looks at himself in the full sized mirror at the end of the hallway next to the lockers. He stares at his reflection and then back down at his chest, he knows he isn’t the scrawny little thing he used to be in his teenage years, but he still doesn’t quite get what other people do.

He spent all of his childhood hiding behind clothes that fit too large on him, they couldn’t afford to get them fixed to fit properly, he avoided P.E. class or anything that involved changing his clothes in front of other people but still, the bullying never ceased, leaving him insecure all the time. By the time he decided to swallow his problems and began working out he started to cover his body with ink; it did help a lot and felt more comfortable in his own skin but the voices on the back of his head never went away.

Aside from that, Steve knows deep inside him he can overcome this fear if he puts a little effort into it, he is helping his friends, yes, but he’s also helping himself, it sounds a bit stupid to him but he understands that by doing this it’s a huge step to getting better. It sounds like an irony, exposing what he dislikes in order to like it, _but if I do this I can do anything, and my mother would be proud,_ he swallows the lump in his throat and goes to put away his bag.

***

He walks inside the changing rooms because Steve was taking way too long and Natasha said he should go look for him, he decides to speak as he goes inside, in case Steve is still changing, _it’s not like I don’t want to see him naked, but I respect the guy, okay?_

“Steve?” He says walking through the hallway.

“In here”, came the blonde’s voice from the back of the room.

Bucky follows it to find Steve standing in front of a locker, putting away his duffle bag, he’s wearing black training shorts that are riding a little low on his hips and revealed the elastic band of his undershorts hugging his figure. Bucky is facing Steve’s naked back, he stares at the blonde’s back tattoo piece, it doesn’t go all the way down and leans towards the right. Bucky gets close to him and Steve looks back over his shoulder, he seems a little disturbed, Bucky thinks it doesn’t have to do with him but he’s not sure what to think about it either.

“May I?” he asks pointing at Steve’s back tattoo.

“Go ahead”, Steve nods with a small smile on his lips.

He runs the fingertips softly across the ink on Steve’s back, tracing the outline with his index finger slowly seeing how the blonde’s little hairs stand with goosebumps, his back is really tense under his touch. The artwork is gorgeous, it’s a classic bald eagle done in a realistic style with black and white ink, the animal is not spreading its wings like you would expect, instead of that, they are spread towards its back, there’s also a couple of dangling dog-tags on its claws giving the impression like it just picked them up. The expression on the eagle’s face is calm, almost smiling, there’s a small date below the animal.

The artwork has so much detail in it that looks like you could feel the softness of the feathers, the claws look sharp and its eyes deep but bright, the dark shades of the ink contrasting with Steve’s pale skin.

“This is amazing”, Bucky whispers still not removing his hand.

“Thanks”, Steve sighs deeply.

_Okay, maybe he doesn’t want me touching him._

“Who did it?” Bucky wonders retrieving his hand quickly.

“Thor”, the blond answers plainly, he remains facing the locker in front of him and Bucky can see the tension in his shoulders.

“Steve, are you okay?” Bucky asks politely.

“Yes”, he answers immediately. _Bullshit._

“Has anybody told you you’re a terrible liar?” the brunet says taking a step back, “what is it?” he questions.

Steve sighs again before he turns around and nothing could have prepared Bucky for what he’s seeing, the blond’s tattoo chest piece is also impressive and his abs are even better, Bucky tries hard not to stare, it doesn’t seem right. Steve doesn’t look at him, the guy just stares down at the floor with a deep frown on his face.

“I don’t know, I just feel a little exposed, I guess”, Steve says blushing a little.

“You don’t have to do this if you feel uncomfortable, I know Natasha can be a little pushy sometimes”, Bucky comments in all honesty.

“It’s okay, I need to do this”, Steve nods. _There’s my Stevie._

“Steve, do you trust me?” Bucky ask with a serious.

“Um, yes”, the blond looks up to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“Okay, then trust me when I say I know you’ll be great out there, I’m here if you need me, and if you have to take a break for some air or you need to stop just say it, I’ll make it happen, okay?” Bucky assures rubbing Steve’s bicep, the blond looks like a heavy weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

“Thank you”, Steve says sounding more like himself.

Bucky doubts for a second but he still goes for it, he hugs Steve, wrapping his arms around the blonde’s neck tightly, a smile spreads on his lips when he feels Steve’s arms around his waist, for some reason it feel really personal, like they were sharing a moment, it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Steve is naked from the waist up.

He feels as Steve loosens his grip a little and he unwraps his arms and takes a step back but he left his hands on Steve’s collarbones, the blond’s hands still on Bucky’s waist, Bucky stares at him for a moment, he could just lean in and kiss him, he could but he doesn’t.

_Steve Rogers doesn’t like men._

_Steve Rogers doesn’t like me_.

He clears his throat and tries to speak, “we should head out, they’re probably waiting”, he says and Steve smiles wide. _There’s the smile I like._

“Let’s go then”, the man nods and Bucky lowers his hands and turns around, Steve following in tow.

“There you are”, Natasha sighs as soon as they’re back into the training area.

“Where do you want me?” Steve asks with security in his voice.

“Go over to where Wade and Peter are standing, they’ll tell you what to do”, she says pointing at the two of them.

Steve walks away to the guys, Bucky stays a few steps behind, he starts walking to follow Steve but Natasha stops him by the arm, “what happened in there?” she wonders with worry in her tone. Normally, she would have teased him about blowing the guy in the lockers room but Natasha must have noticed something in Steve’s expression that made her think differently.

“I don’t know, he seemed like something was bothering him, he said he felt exposed”, Bucky explains.

“He’s a bit insecure about his body, that’s why I thought about him when Peter told me about the project, I know that kid will make him look great and it might help your guy a little”, she explains.

“Yeah, I kinda figured that back there, I mean, it’s crazy, but I understand”, he says sadly.

“Well, I don’t know what you told him but it seemed to work”, she nods at the direction where the three guys are standing, Steve is laughing loudly at something Wade is saying, tilting his head backwards and his right hand rested on his stomach while his body trembles all over.

“I hope so”, he says walking away to go to Steve.

Bucky moves slowly towards them and he doesn’t hold back staring at the man, he’s impressed by Steve’s physic, _because, what the hell_? A big part of Steve’s body is covered in tattoos, his back and chest, his knuckles and all over his arms down the wrists and legs.

“You’re going to have to interview me”, Steve says with a smile when Bucky comes closer.

“Yeah, how come?” Bucky wonders.

“I’m thinking about doing some shots of Steve talking about his tattoos, but I want it to be more like a conversation with a friend than something rehearsed”, Peter says, “so, if you could just talk to him and ask a little about him, like a mini bio, who is he, what he does for a living, his tattoos and something about his training”, the guy adds, “if that’s okay with you, you won’t be in the shoot too much”, Peter says shyly.

“Sure, that I can do”, Bucky nods enthusiastically.

“Yeah, you guys can flirt and stuff just don’t look at the camera, just like in a porno”, Wade nudges Bucky’s arm, “sort of like THE CASTING COUCH”, he says cheerfully, “unless we are doing this as a POV sort of thing, I think Steve’s chest will-” he gets interrupted by Peter smacking his shoulder.

_Thank god, although I wouldn’t mind doing porn with Steve._

“Wade, I want you to work with the camcorder, I don’t want to hear your voice on the recordings, please”, Peter begs.

“You didn’t say that last night but fine”, Wade huffs dramatically.

***

Natasha goes to fix a set up for the workout session and the things she wants him to do while Peter has them seated on the couch that’s located on the lobby area, a few spot lights and reflectors pointing at them, it feels a little hot but it’s a good thing that Natasha has A.C. He takes a seat next to Bucky; they are on their sides facing each other a bit, _like in a talk show._

“Ok, I’ll give Wade a signal to start recording and I’m going to take random shots of Steve, then change for the telephoto lens to take some close ups without me getting in the shot, okay?” Peter says.

“Sure, just let us know when you’re recording” Steve says and Bucky nods.

Peter takes some shots to test the lighting and check they’re in the right spot, and double-checks that the memory cards are working properly. Peter gives Wade the signal to start recording, “whenever you’re ready, just imagine like we’re not here”, Peter tells them.

“Ok, can you tell me you’re name and what you do for a living?” Bucky asks.

“My name’s Steve Rogers and I’m a tattoo artist”, Steve answers with a nod.

“Cool, for how long have you been in the business?” The brunet questions.

“Six years this past summer”, Steve hums smiling at the memory.

“Nice, you’re really talented for not being in the business for too long, do you have a favorite style to do?” Bucky adds.

“Thanks”, Steve smiles, “I really like Americana and traditional tattoos, a little bit more on the old school style but I also enjoy doing more realistic stuff like portraits”, Steve says trying not to blush at Bucky’s compliment.

“Yeah, I see that’s the kind of art you have in you, can you talk a little bit about your tattoos and why you got them, maybe?” Bucky smiles a little.

“Sure, I started covering my body in tattoos because I used to feel really self conscious about the way I looked back in high school, as soon as I graduated I started training MMA and went to art school, I came across with a few people in the business and one thing led to another, and here I am”, he shrugs before he continues.

“Having tattoos on my body has helped me a lot to feel more comfortable in my own skin, I know it’s also a form of expression and they look cool but sometimes it’s more than that, and people think I’m badass so I guess that’s okay”, Steve says, surprised to hear himself say those things in public.

Never in a million years Steve though he’d be able to do that, but remembering what Bucky told him a few minutes ago makes him feel like he’s going to be alright for a change, like he doesn’t need to hide anymore, he feels safe next to him.

_I’m okay; this is not so bad after all._

“Well, you do look pretty badass to me, which one was your first tattoo?” Bucky smiles.

“My first tattoo was a portrait of my mother that I have here”, he says as he pulls up a side of his shorts to show his right thigh, “and my first big piece was my left sleeve that’s mostly dedicated to movies”, Steve passes his right hand through it, rubbing it gently.

“That’s gorgeous, she was beautiful”, Bucky points at his mother’s portrait, “and I notice you enjoy movies a lot, horror movies mainly, any specific reason why?” He continues.

“Indeed she was”, he nods, “and I guess I do like horror movies a lot, mostly the classics, I got tattooed a few monsters because I think I can identify, not because of the looks, they’re mostly misunderstood creatures that got stuck with their bodies and some of them didn’t have a choice, a few others are bad, yes, but not all of them, I guess they just wanted to fit in, like everybody else”, he explains with a shrug rubbing at his arms mostly on black, gray and white ink.

_And also because movies are awesome, period._

Bucky stares at his arm with wide eyes, then back at his face and back to his arm, “what is it?” Steve asks.

_Now he thinks I’m weird._

“Nothing, it’s just-, it’s a really poetic way to look at it, I never thought about it like that”, he comments, “it’s amazing really, and what about your other arm?” Bucky nods smiling big.

“This other arm, The Patriotic Spirit as Darcy likes to call it, is dedicated to personal beliefs such as respect, the hands breaking a chain that stand for freedom, I have the classic dagger with the ‘Death Before Dishonor’ banner, a pin up girl that’s actually inspired by J. Howard Miller’s ‘We Can Do It’ poster”, he says pointing to each tattoo as he explains.

“You’re such a nerd, but a cool nerd”, Bucky giggles, “and your knuckles?” he asks.

“Born and raised”, Steve blushes a little and holds his hands together in fists so he can read the complete word that’s written on his knuckles, ‘Brooklyn’ they spelled, and Bucky chuckles a bit.

“And your chest? You have like a superhero thing going on”, Bucky smirks.

“When I was younger I always wanted to enlist but they wouldn’t take me, I used to draw these little comics where I illustrated a super-soldier who fought with a shield and went into battles with bad guys and helped people doing good things, it was silly but I got really fond of the character so I got this done a few years ago”, he says rubbing at the center of his chest where the heather shield is located, three white stars over a blue background along, red and white stripes underneath, along eagle wings symmetrically positioned on each side under Steve’s collarbones. The style of this tattoo is more neo classic making the wings completely different from the ones in the back.

“I think it suits you, and what about the tattoos on your legs?” Bucky says.

“My right leg is reserved for tattoos I do over at conventions, or every time I travel to meet a friend or when they come over, I suppose it’s a way to have a little bit of everyone with me, that’s why it’s full of random stuff”, he chuckles, “and my right leg is mostly music related, a few lyrics and band logos and what not, music is a big part of my life, being a part of a hardcore/punk scene has showed me that friendship and brotherhood are the things you can always count on, there’s were I met my best friends that I considered now my family”, Steve says proudly.

_And there’s where I met you._

“Well, you’re not wrong, you do have the whole though hardcore guy look”, Bucky smirks.

“It’s thanks to Natasha, she’s the one always kicking my ass to keep myself in shape, and I’m thankful for that”, he laughs.

“She does that sometimes, tell me a little bit about your training and how come you look like you were trained by Hercules”, Bucky says laughing loud, a laugh that runs through his whole body, making the side of his eyes wrinkle.

 _Ugghh, I want to kiss those wrinkles, I want to kiss those rosy cheeks, I want to kiss that chiseled chin, I want to kiss those red lips, I want to kiss-,_ “Steve?” Bucky asks.

_Right, he said something._

“Although it wasn’t Hercules I did had good trainers, I have been doing MMA for about 8 years know, the last 3 here at the Red Room since Natasha opened and I don’t plan on going anywhere else anytime soon, I like it in here and training makes me feel good, I come here by night after work to let some steam out and it helps me a lot with stress and my body doesn’t feel so stiff after working on the same position all day”, he explains.

“I don’t know how you do it, I guess I’m just a lazy ass”, he giggles.

“With dedication and commitment, but I’m sure those words are too big for you” he sticks his tongue out.

_This feels so right but it makes me so sad we are no more than friends._

“Hey!” Bucky yells at him trying to sound offended. They both start laughing, loud shrieks of laughter, and it feels so good that he’s starting to be glad he agreed on doing this and that Bucky is there giggling with him instead of making him feel nervous, the guy is helping more than he can imagine.

“And that’s a wrap”, Peter says signaling Wade to stop recording. _Right, there are other people here._ Steve feels so comfortable with Bucky that he totally forgot about them recording and taking pictures.

“You two can go and make out in a room now”, Wade says, “can I watch?” he asks.

_What?_

“Hey Steve, come over here for a second”, Natasha yells from across the room from where the punching bags are hanging from the ceiling.

***

He just spent the last hour talking to Steve about his tattoos and his workout and he feels over the moon, Steve doesn’t look so lost anymore and everything seems to be falling into place smoothly. He sighs loudly as he stands back up to stretch his legs.

“You do want to have sex him with, right?” Wade asks putting down the camcorder he’s holding.

“Who the fuck are you, again?” Bucky says but there’s no anger on his voice, he chuckles.

“Geez, you want to kiss the guy with that mouth?” Wade says.

“Oh, I don’t just wanna kiss him, the things I’d do to him with this mouth”, Bucky winks and walks away to meet Natasha and Steve, leaving Wade speechless for a change. _That’s right._ He gets to where his friends are standing; Natasha is moving a few weights to the side and pulling some things out of a duffle bag.

“Okay, have you had any physical activity today?” She asks Steve.

“I ran a few laps in the morning with Cap”, he answers.

_Too cute. TOO CUTE!_

“Okay, then you’ll run for 10 minutes on the treadmill, we are going to be doing the sessions as always but I’ve shorten some circuits giving less time between each repetition”, she explains, “at the end we’ll just throw in some random stuff for Peter to record, I’ll walk you through the routine but I won’t be in the picture, okay?” she informs.

“Sure, let’s do this” Steve says enthusiastically.

“Before you start I need you there for a second, you too Bucky,” she points at a table where she has a few towels, gym supplies, a first aid kit, water bottles and some other stuff that Bucky didn’t recognize. They walk to the table and Natasha opens a bottle of what appeared to be some kind of lotion.

“Take off your shorts, I’m going to rub this on before you start sweating”, she demands. _Rub what on?_

“Body oil, Natasha, really? I’m sure I’ll sweat enough, you don’t need to put that on”, Steve shakes his head. _BODY OIL?_

“Yes, I know you’re obviously going to sweat but this is for camera purposes, it will give more depth to your muscle, now shut up and turn around, back first”, she orders.

Steve does as he’s told, he takes his shorts off to reveal the compression shorts that he’s wearing underneath, they’re tight in all the right places, the main color is black and has some gray and red detailing on the elastic band and around the hem area, the logo for the Red Room is printed red on the middle of the right thigh. Bucky’s breath get caught up on his throat, the shorts fit like a second skin, he’s staring at Steve’s ass but since the blond is facing forward he guesses he can get away with it, until Natasha clears her throat and raises at eyebrow at him, he just shrugs.

“Here Bucky”, she hands him a water sprayer, “I’ll rub the oil and you’ll spray the water as I go, got it?” the redhead explains and Bucky nods silent.

_But I want to do the rubbing._

Natasha pours the liquid on her hand, she places the bottle back on the table and rubs the oil on both of her hands, then goes to spread the liquid into Steve’s back tattoo piece first, when her hands go down doing quick circular motions Bucky has to close his mouth fast to prevent drooling, _literally_.

She nods her head at him, indicating he can star spraying, as soon as the water touches Steve’s oiled back it begins to drip down roaming through the blonde’s body, Bucky feels like everything is happening in slow motion, his eyes following the drops of water that stop at the elastic waist band.

 _On second thought,_ _I might get a boner just by looking._

_I’ll stick with the water._

_I wouldn’t be able to control myself if I touch him._

“Ok, back’s done, turn around”, she demands.

_Wait, now the chest?_

_Fuck, send help._

_I can’t stare if he’s looking._

Steve turns around and Natasha starts repeating the process, Bucky tries to think about something to star a conversation with the blond, to force himself to look at his face instead to his chest, _and his pink nipples, and his cute belly button, and his sexy V-cut, and his chiseled abs, is that an eight pack?_

_Shit, I’m staring._

“How long is this going to be?” Bucky asks trying to think about anything but Steve’s naked chest.

“Probably two hours or less, but on a normal day this will be a three to four hours training session because Steve here is crazy”, Natasha comments.

“I’m not”, Steve shakes his head.

“I believe you are”, Bucky smiles and Steve shrugs.

Natasha finishes with oiling Steve’s body and he sprays the water quickly and tries to look away fast. Natasha does the same with the arms and as he’s spraying Steve’s right arm the blond chuckles.

“What a difficult job, it must be exhausting”, the blond says to Bucky.

“Shut up”, Bucky hisses spraying some water at Steve’s face.

“Hey!” he exclaims and Bucky gives him a cheeky smile.

Natasha continues with the legs, this process goes a tad faster, he sprays quickly and the redhead speaks again, “you’re done with this, to the treadmill, Rogers, remember, just 20 minutes running”, she points a finger at the blond, “Peter and Wade will take some shots there, you just ignore them”, Natasha says and Steve nods, he gives Bucky a huge smile and goes to do as told.

_I hate to see him go, but I love to watch him leave, look at that ass._

“You’ve never seen Steve train before, this is going to be torture for you”, Natasha comments pulling away his attention from Steve’s back.

“I’ll live”, he shrugs.

Bucky is very, very wrong.

Natasha asks him to help moving around some things to make room for the lighting set up for the next part of Steve’s exercising routine. Bucky peeks over his shoulder to see Steve on the treadmill, he has earphones on, _I wonder what he’s listening to_. The guy looks concentrated looking up, he has a good pace and while he runs fast, _like really fast_ , he takes long steps in rhythm with his arms, he sees Peter and Wade moving around him, it’s the longest 20 minutes that Bucky has ever lived. As soon as Steve is done, he comes towards them to start his actual routine.

“Ok, Steve, you’re going to start with push-ups, jumping jacks and bench dips, repetitions of 20, can you handle 40 seconds between each instead of 60?” Natasha says.

_What?_

“Yes, ma’am”, Steve doesn’t sound agitated at all, like he had spent the last 20 minutes walking and not running for a marathon.

“Okay, you’ll repeat this station for 5 minutes, chop chop!” She claps her hands.

Steve starts exercising and Bucky goes to stand on the edge of the mat next to a few light stands, Steve looks determined, the blond is sweating _and looking fucking hot._ Bucky is regretting not listening to Natasha 3 years ago when she told him for the first time to come and take a look around the gym. As soon as this station is finished, Natasha instructs the directions for the next one, a full body circuit.

Natasha is yelling at Steve, pushing the blond to go faster, lower, to stretch his legs and arms wider, to keep his back straight and his chin up. Bucky has seen Natasha techniques before but this was crazy, he figures it’s because she knows Steve well enough to push him to the edge, and yes, she’s positive Steve’s more than capable. Time passes and then it’s turn for the high intensity conditioning, a lot of work with his knees pushing them up to his chest, then plank jacks, with more repetitions in less time.

_Holy shit._

“Your boyfriend is like a machine”, Wade whispers to Bucky and he nods before the guy passes next to him to move closer and record from Natasha’s POV.

Bucky is quite impressed, and he wasn’t going to lie just because this is Steve. The blond is sweating a lot by now but he never complains, he’s breathing fast through his nose, a few strands of hair sticking to his sweaty forehead.

Then the real torture begins, for both of them. It’s time for what Natasha calls the ‘full body weighted resistance’, Steve is lifting a 25 lb. weigh plate like it’s nothing, doing series of squats moving the plate around his head, curling his biceps, then bending over. Bucky doesn’t know who’s sweating the most, if Steve or him.

This has to be the hottest thing that Bucky has ever seen, the blond is grunting a little, Bucky goes to drink a few cups of water because he feels his insides burning while he watches Steve bending, pulling, kneeling, stretching, _and oh god, Steve’s bulge between his shorts, I bet he’s huge._

Natasha announces it’s time for the last station, the core, this segment is fast but not less impressive, watching Steve stretching along the floor, squeezing a med ball between his legs and beat the shit out of a truck tire is something else, _he could be a lumber jack for all I care._

***

He’s tired, he isn’t going to lie, but he feels good, just concentrating fully on his workout, listening to Natasha’s encouraging words. He promised he’d do his best; he doesn’t want to look like an idiot on camera or video because he isn’t paying attention, _because Bucky is here._

“Go take some water, rest for 5 minutes, I don’t want you to go cold, then we’ll do some grip work”, Natasha informs. He walks to the table where Natasha left the bottles, he grabs a towel to dry his forehead, and he opens the cap and to take a long sip.

“This is insane”, Bucky comes from behind to stand next to him.

“It isn’t always like this, Natasha went a little soft today”, he says sounding agitated from exercise, his chest raising but he tries to calm his respiration, he doesn’t want to have an asthma attack in front of Bucky, _that’d be too embarrassing._

“I can’t with this, and Natasha told me this isn’t over yet”, Bucky says surprised.

“That was practically the warm-up”, he shrugs his shoulders.

“Dude, this is awesome, when Natasha told me you were good I didn’t expect you to be this good”, Peter sounds excited.

“Thanks”, he feels his blood running through his body, making him blush from his cheeks down to his neck.

“Rogers, to the bars!” Natasha yells.

“I guess that’s my call”, he says pointing at Natasha’s direction.

“Yeah, just don’t die on me, okay?” Bucky says, Steve just smiles.

***

The grip is also a torment, Natasha has Steve going up and down on a rope that hangs from the ceiling, using just his upper body, _I don’t know how he does it_. He also does a few bar pull-ups with two hands at first, exposing Steve’s back muscles, his shoulder to waist ratio is impressive and Bucky is fighting his urges to wrap his hands around that tiny waist. Then Steve starts doing pull-ups with one hand, swapping between one hand and the other lifting his body weight like it’s nothing.

“Ok, you can show off a little now, do some calisthenics moves over the bars for Peter and Wade to catch, then we’ll move over to the punching bags”, she demands.

“Okay, are you ready for this?” Steve asks Peter, the kid nods with a smile.

_I’m ready, yes._

Bucky has his mouth wide open, he’s afraid at some point that some flies might get inside. Steve’s doing some twists over the bars, he holds his body with his hands like he weighted no more than a feather, moving his feet up like he’s walking on invisible steps, he moves in circular motions with one hand, then holds the bars tightly with his hands, he stretches his arms behind his back positioning his body parallel to the floor his face looking down and then does a twist backwards around the bar.

These are those crazy moves you see on the internet where guys do street workouts over children playgrounds, but seeing this live and the one who’s doing it being Steve, it’s a whole new level of _what the actual fuck, how?_

“I bet you could even bench-press me, that is really sexy you know”, Wade says to Steve as he gets down the bars.

“Yes I can, but lets not,” Steve smiles and Bucky laughs.

They walk together to the punching bags where Natasha is standing, she throws some bandages at Bucky when they are in reach, “help him put this on, just 10 minutes at the punching bag, then we’re going over the mat for you to make some spins”, she informs.

***

“Here, let me…” Bucky points at his hands.

“You don’t have to, I can do them myself”, Steve shrugs.

“It’s okay”, Bucky takes Steve’s right hand and lifts it in the air with his palm upwards.

Steve is staring down at their hands as Bucky holds his hand in place with the right and wraps the bandages around with the other, Bucky’s hands are a bit cold but soft where Steve’s are calloused and sweaty.

“I didn’t know you could do all that”, Bucky says still looking down.

“Well, I’ve been doing it for a long time”, Steve informs.

The blond looks up and sees Bucky’s eyelashes fanning out over his cheeks, his lips parted a little, they’re really close to each other, and he can almost feel Bucky’s breath on his chest. _I want to kiss him so bad._

“Yeah, but it’s like you’re not even human”, Bucky chuckles a little letting down Steve’s hand and taking the other to repeat the process, Steve just laughs and walks to the punching bag when the bandages are done.

***

Steve starts punching the bag alternating his movements, keeping his elbows to his waist and his hands curled into fists, then he moves a bit more to the sides, his lower body shifting on his feet, he begins throwing light punches but once the time passes they become faster and harder.

Bucky looks up to see if the punching bag is holding well on the ceiling because he thinks for a second that the thing might blow off across the room, and all that Bucky wants to do is feel Steve’s body against his.

The blond keeps at it for a while, his body shaking and bouncing with every punch, his muscles tight moving under his skin, his back contracting and shoulders square, his feet planted on the floor moving his legs back and forth and to the sides.

The bag is taking the beating of a lifetime and Bucky wonders what Steve’s hits might do to a person, the blond doesn’t stop at all and Bucky wants to know what is he’s thinking about, if he imagines the thing has a face and what did they do to him to make the man want to punch so hard.

Steve stars making the most arousing noises that Bucky has ever heard and the brunet is afraid to close his eyes, to let his mind wonder if that’s how Steve sounds like when he’s having sex, deep grunts and huffs, his chest growing in and out fast, droplets of sweat running down his temples and back, the ends of his hair wet and falling into his forehead, his face and neck flustered a deep shade of red.

“Fuck me”, Bucky whispers under his breath _. Did I say that out loud?_

“Easy there”, Natasha chuckles making him jump a bit because he hadn’t notice when she approached him.

“I said yuck me”, he shakes his head, “you know, yucky me that I don’t work out cause’ I’m so lazy”, Bucky shrugs trying to sound casual.

“You’re such an idiot, James”, she says.

“How come you never mentioned Steve before?” the brunet wonders.

“You know me”, Natasha smirks and he huffs at her.

***

He finishes his time with the punching bag and goes to the mat to start doing some flips; he knows they are just for show because he wasn’t going to actually fight with anyone, they’re only for the sake of Peter’s project.

“Ok, three different spins, choose wisely, I know what you can do”, Natasha points a finger at him narrowing her eyes.

Steve knows what he was doing too; he doesn’t like to do anything to show off, even though the guys at the Red Room are always encouraging him to do so, but this time is different, Natasha is the one asking him and it’s for the sake.

 _Triple Butterfly Twist._ A 360° twist while his body rotates 3 times through the transverse plane, wrapping his arms around his body and the twists occurs at the same time he kicks up the back leg for speed.

 _Quadruple Corkscrew._ Shooting a leg up, wrapping his hands and bringing them back towards the hips. As this happens, he jumps off of his base leg and wraps his arms across his body in the same direction as he kicked his trail leg giving the force he needs to spin. While wrapping, the legs are brought in tightly together and the head turns in the appropriate direction to aid the 3 twists, landing the trick with a flat-spin.

And last, but not least: _The Double Gainer._ A double back flip off of one foot, the leg that’s still on the floor swings from behind his back making him fly across the mat.

As soon as he’s stable back on the ground with both feet, he turns around to face his friends, Natasha is whistling at him, Bucky is standing there with his eyes open wide tilting his head a little to his right like he’s trying to process what just happen, and Wade and Peter are applauding loudly, he waves them a small reverence.

“Dude, you’re like a fucking ninja!” Wade yells.

“That was WOW!” Peter exclaims raising both of his hands, his camera hanging from his neck.

“For the end just go over the weights station to do some lifting, full weight on, don’t do many repetitions, this is mostly for them to film”, Natasha demands.

“Are you kidding me, he’s not over yet? After that”, Bucky points at his direction.

“The weight station is easy, and you’ll go help him with that”, she says.

The lifting is a piece of cake for Steve, lifting weights is one of those things that don’t require much brain, and people mostly do it just to look good since it’s mostly for muscle development. Natasha instructs him to do the full body routine, he normally wouldn’t do upper and lower body on the same day, he does it in two days each, but he figures this occasion is different, Steve decides to do 2 sets of 15 repetitions when he regularly does 5 sets of 15. He begins with lower body: legs, thighs and calves. He doesn’t need Bucky for this but the brunet is hanging around currently sitting on a bench fiddling with some weights while Peter and Wade work with the camera from afar.

“That’s impressive, what you did back there, I didn’t know you could do all that”, Bucky comments.

“Yeah, well, I try”, he smiles a little pushing his legs together on the leg press, he’s working his inner tights, he notices that Bucky hasn’t looked up at him since he sat down in front of him.

“It’s scary you know, you still have asthma and your vitamin shots”, Bucky sounds worried.

_He remembered._

“I know, but it’s not so bad anymore, besides I don’t think Natasha would let me do something I wouldn’t be able to handle”, Steve says standing up to go and start the upper body routine.

“I get it, and it’s not that I think you don’t know what you’re doing, I just want you to take care of yourself, that’s all”, Bucky says, “promise me you’ll be careful”, the brunet whispers and wraps his fingers around Steve’s wrist and squeezes gently. Steve looks down at their hands in confusion and then back up to Bucky’s face, for a moment it looked like Bucky was going to hold his hand, they’re standing only inches apart staring at each other’s eyes, Bucky has a serious expression on his face and Steve frowns, “Steve, promise me”, Bucky demands.

Steve swallows the lump of saliva that’s starting to form inside his throat, “Okay, I promise, I’ll be fine”, Steve says and Bucky nods letting go of his wrist.

He goes to the shoulder press and as soon as he’s done with that he does chest, followed by his back and lower back, then biceps and triceps leaving the bench press for last, that’s where he needs Bucky’s help. Both of them walk to the bench and he places the right amount of weight disks on the barbell before he sits down, his back to the weights.

“Can you -?” he asks Bucky pointing with his thumb over his shoulder towards the weights.

“Yeah, I know what to do”, Bucky walks around to stand behind the barbell.

As soon as he leans down resting his back on the bench he knows he’s in deep trouble, Bucky’s crotch is almost in his face, he tries hard not to blush, he isn’t wearing a shirt and he’s thankful that the bench is cold against his skin, he forces his eyes to concentrate on the barbell and look up to the ceiling as he bench-presses the weights. He grabs the barbell tightly with both hands, pushes it up a little to unhook it and Bucky locates his palms on the barbell but not getting a hold of it, Bucky leaves his hands there for security as Steve lowers the barbell, just in case Steve can’t handle the weight back up, which doesn’t happen but he’s grateful for the help, and the view, _so close, yet so far_. He finishes with the weights as quick as he manages and stands up when Natasha comes to get them.

“That’s all, go sprint on the treadmill for 10 minutes and we’re done”, she says.

“Guys, thank you some much for this, really”, Peter smiles wide, “I’m so getting an A on this”, he comments excitedly.

“Yeah, you’re welcome, sugar” Wade winks at the younger man and everybody laughs.

***

Bucky stares at Steve as the blond walks away to finish his session, Bucky stays behind standing next to Natasha, “what did I tell you?” she smirks.

“It was torture indeed”, he remembers her words.

“Quite impressive, I know”, Natasha shrugs.

“Yeah” he sighs.

“Wait for him to finish, I’ll meet you guys in the back, I ordered food”, she informs walking away to tell Peter and Wade to join them.

Bucky stands there looking at Steve as he finishes on the treadmill, then the blond walks to the table where he left his shorts and pulls a shirt out of Natasha’s duffle bag.

_Here I am thinking about nice and cute Steve, baking pies and helping old ladies walk the street and here he is, he’s like an animal, grunting and sweating while lifting weights being all manly and sexy, I’ve been living a lie._

_Being friends is going to be harder than I thought._

“Where’s everybody?” Steve asks as he approaches.

“Natasha said to meet her in the back, she ordered some food”, he informs.

“Good thing, I’m starving”, Steve smiles like _the fucking sun._

“As always”, Bucky smirks turning on his heel, and both of them start walking side by side to Natasha’s office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter, a lot, I hope you guys liked it, let me know what you think :D
> 
> P.S. If you were a bit confused by Steve's workout routine, or the flips, I can link you to the videos where I got the ideas from, just ask :) or you can search them on YouTube, they're easy to find.
> 
> Have a nice weekend! <3


	25. Chapter 25

It’s Tuesday evening, Steve just finished a long day at the shop and he’s stretching his back when he hears a small buzzing sound coming from his duffle bag. He retrieves his cellphone and sees it’s a text message from Bucky.

 **Bucky** : You off work? O:

 **Steve** : Just finished (:

 **Bucky** : Still an hour left for me :c

 **Steve** : That sucks ):

 **Bucky:** Drive safe, text me when you get home

 **Steve:** Will do ;)

 **Bucky** : Yeah, ok! :B

***

The brunet places down the cellphone and tries to put his attention back to work, this time he’s translating a really boring manual for Stark industries into Italian, twenty minutes of annotations later his phone buzzes.

 **Steve:** Just got home, I’m going to fix some food, you know, cause it’s broken ;)

 **Bucky** : HAHAHAHAHAAAA!

 **Bucky:** Smartass x)

 **Steve:** :DDDDD

 **Bucky:** What are you going to make?

 **Steve:** Probably some salmon, rice and asparagus

 **Bucky:** Eww asparagus :C

 **Steve:** You don’t like asparagus?!

 **Bucky:** Vegetables, yuk

 **Steve:** How picky :d

 **Bucky:** Oh excuse me, Captain Healthy

 **Steve:** You almost off work?

 **Bucky:** I’m wrapping things here and then heading home.

 **Steve:** Ok, I’m going to eat, text me when you get home (:

 **Bucky** : Will do. Bon Appetite!

 **Steve** : Thanks c:

***

Steve smiles at the text messages, he rubs the back of his neck as he feels the blood rushing to his face. _These are just normal friend conversations_. It isn’t hard to fantasize that these conversations he has with Bucky mean something more like Clint said, but the truth is, Bucky doesn’t look at him that way and he can’t ruin their friendship forcing his feelings towards him. So fantasizing is enough for now.

_Fantasizing about a lot of things actually…_

After eating, Steve walks upstairs to change into some walking pants and grabs Captain’s leash. “C’mon bud, let’s get out of here”, he says as he pockets his cellphone, and opens the door to take Captain for his evening walk. Half way to the park he feels his phone buzzing.

 **Bucky:** Just got home O:

 **Steve:** I’m walking Captain!

“Captain”, he says drawing his friend’s attention to take a picture and attach it to the text message.

 **Bucky:** Aww, he looks so happy! :D

 **Steve:** I’m thinking about taking him to a sitter during the day

 **Bucky:** But he’ll get really tired by the time you get home

 **Steve:** Yeah he probably won’t want to go for walks :/

 **Bucky:** Maybe you should take more days off

 **Steve:** I can’t do that :c

 **Bucky:** I haven’t told you, I quit my other job

 **Steve:** Piercing?

 **Bucky:** Yeah, the guys there are too sloppy, I don’t want to be associated with them

 **Steve:** Good for you c: Text you in a bit, we’re gonna do a sprint

 **Bucky:** Can you hear me now?

 **Steve:** What?

 **Bucky:** Nevermind (: have fun

***

Bucky’s lying on top of the sofa after Steve’s last text watching ‘Some Like It Hot’ when Natasha walks in after her bath, she notices the phone in Bucky’s lap and smirks, “you talking to Steve?” the girl questions.

“Not right now, but I was”, he informs.

“You told him how you feel yet?” she wonders lifting an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Natalia”, Bucky says and his friend gives him a stern look.

“Check yourself before you wreck yourself”, the redhead says pointing a finger at Bucky.

“Clint is rubbing off on you”, he laughs.

“Good, I’m going to sleep, go take a bath”, Natasha demands.

“Yes, mom!” he answers standing up.

He takes his phone to his room, when he’s inside, Bucky removes his clothes to take a bath when the phone starts buzzing repeatedly. It’s a call, a Skype call, he sits down naked on his bed and answered, “hello?” he says.

“Hey!” he sees Steve’s face on a weird angle as he walks into his house but Bucky’s camera is off.

“Just got back from the walk”, Steve says out of breath. The blond looks down at the phone, “I downloaded Skype on the phone, turn on your camera, I can’t see you”, he says.

“Ah”, he places a towel on top of his privates, _this is dumb he’s just going see my face,_ “wait a second”, he turns on the camera, “hello”, Bucky gives him a little wave.

“Hi”, the guy says, Bucky notices Steve is sitting down on his couch, they stare at each other for a moment, “Are you not wearing a… ” Steve frowns.

“I was going to go take a bath”, he informs with a shrug.

“Oh! Sorry I won’t keep you long”, Steve shakes his head.

“No, it’s ok”, Bucky waves a hand to the camera.

“I just wanted to show you something”, Steve says.

“Yeah, go ahead”, Bucky nods.

_Show me anything, everything!_

“Ok, there was this like little flea market at the park, they were closing but I found this!” Steve lifts up a black opaque manga with a UV selection of a drawing of a girl on the front.

“Uzumaki!” Bucky exclaims with a smile.

“Yeah”, Steve nods, “hey had a bunch of horror books and this was there, it’s a bit rough on the edges but it’s readable”, he shrugs.

“Don’t read it tonight, you won’t be able to sleep”, Bucky warns.

“C’mon, the movie wasn’t that scary”, the blond says in dismissal.

“That is definitely better than the movie”, the brunet comments pointing at the screen.

“Junji Ito's the director”, Steve lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Think Pet Sematary”, Bucky chuckles.

“Ok then”, Steve hums, “go take your bath, please”, the blond giggles.

“Oh, shut up!” Bucky laughs, “talk to you tomorrow”, he nods.

“Yeah”, Steve sighs.

“Goodnight”, Bucky waves at him.

“Nites”, the other man smiles before he hangs up.

Bucky puts down his phone next to him and sighs loudly as he lies down on his the bed, staring up at the ceiling with a smirk on his face. He feels a boner rising up between his legs when he thinks about Steve’s cute smile and genuine laugh as he showed him his find, and the lack of breath as he spoke. _The hair that was sticking to his sweaty forehead, his rosy cheeks, how he avoided looking at the screen._

***

Bucky was naked… _he was talking to me and he was naked and he was there and naked, holy shit_. Steve knows for sure he wasn’t wearing anything because of the mirror behind Bucky’s bed, he could see the reflection of Bucky’s back and a part of his leg when he lifted up the phone to settle more nicely into conversation with Steve.

Steve was already pretty red from the workout, and then he noticed Bucky’s naked back and his blood boiled down someplace else as the conversation kept going, he had to end it quick. When Bucky hanged up, Steve quickly ran upstairs to take his clothes off.

He has two options: take a cold bath now or _… later_. He’s walking to the bathroom and stands leaning against in the doorframe for a few seconds, “fuck it”, _Literally,_ he says walking backwards to the bed, taking off his clothes in the process.

The blond rubs his face with his hand imagining the other man’s body, _Bucky’s back_ , how tan and silky it looked _, so toned._ He dreams about scraping his teeth against the back of Bucky’s neck and running the flat of his tongue tracing every inch of the brunet’s body, his muscles contracting under it, just tasting anything he can reach. Steve bites his knuckles of one hand as he frees his dick from his underwear with the other, wrapping his hands around his shaft and stroking slowly.

***

Bucky really needs to take a bath but also he wants to stroke himself, at least to release some more tension from the previous day, seeing Steve exercising semi-naked has ruined him for life. Natasha said she was already going to sleep but he still needs to be quiet as possible just in case, mostly because he doesn’t want to disturb her not because he cares she hears him masturbating. Bucky walks into the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist and a fresh pair of pants in his hand, he turns on the water spray and waits for it to heat up properly.

_Maybe if I stay under the water a little this will cool down._

He gets inside and sighs deeply as he washes thinking about Steve’s hands going through his hair instead of his, his fingertips massaging his scalp in circles, gently scratching and combing his hair, _fuck._ He feels himself stiffening when he continues to work on his hair, he tilts his head backwards to rinse the shampoo from his hair and imagines Steve licking and marking his exposed neck.

Bucky looks down at his dick, it’s fully erect by now, the swollen tip standing proudly against his belly, the brunet tries stroking it a few times, wrapping his fingers around it and pulling at it steadily, but it wasn’t working under the water.

_Pornos lie._

He needs something to lubricate with, he pokes his head out of the shower to search around for something that might help. _Soap? No, that’s going to sting later. Vaseline? Eww, no, besides it’s going to wash off as I do it. Maybe I should just take a bath and do it outside._

_Wait, what is that?_

_Natasha’s shower gel._

_Hallefuckinglujah!_

***

Steve is fully lying on top his bed, both of his legs spread wide open and toes curled, his naked body sweaty and on display, both of his hands working on himself, his left one cupping down his balls and squeezing gently with his fingers as his right hand strokes his cock slowly, twisting his wrist when he reaches the top and rubs his thumb around the slit already leaking pre-come.

“Bucky”, he whispers tilting his head back further into the pillow, he bites his lower lip, “fuck”, Steve hisses.

He starts breathing faster, his chest rising and falling rapidly, the pool of his stomach hot and the muscles of his abdomen contracting, he’s so close, _so so close_ ; he begins stroking a bit slower trying to enjoy the moment. Steve imagines Bucky’s weight on top of him, nipping his earlobe and whispering dirty things into his ear, how he wants Steve to stretch him, to move deeper inside of him while he traces his tattoos with his tongue. He also thinks about kissing him roughly, sucking love bites into his neck and collarbones for everyone to see the day after.

“Shit, shit, I’m there”, he whimpers.

Steve stars grunting when the pressure becomes too much, the corner of his sight beginning to blur and he squeezes his eyes shut while a silent moan escapes his mouth. He squeezes his shaft harder with one hand while he starts rubbing his belly with the other, gentle circles soothing his muscles. As soon as the blond feels the jolt of electricity running all over his body, he holds his dick with his hand just under the head and strokes the slit with his thumb slowly, seconds later he’s finally coming all over his hand as he struggles for air, his head buried in the pillows beneath him and his free hand curled into a fist holding the pristine white sheets.

***

_This is heaven._

_Why haven’t I tried this before?_

Bucky strokes the length of his cock with fast movements, his hands and his lower body covered in foam from the shower gel. _Oh fuck, this feels awesome. H_ e pulls and prods at the head of his cock softly, the warm water falling on his sensitive skin like tiny little kisses, touches that he wishes were Steve's. The bathroom is covered in steam by now and he needs to hurry up before he runs out of hot water.

He curls his toes as he bites down on his bottom lip, sucking his lip piercing into his mouth, imagining Steve’s teeth pulling at it. Bucky continues stroking his cock fast with one hand and leans against the wall with his left arm, hissing a bit from the coldness of the tiles. The brunet gasps for air bending over under the shower letting the water run down his hair and body.

 “Oh, shit, I’m so close”, he chuckles tiredly. He lets his mind drift off to Steve, thinking running his fingers through his golden hair, those clear blue eyes looking at him with a smile on his face and a cute blush on his cheeks, his musky smell mixing with Bucky’s, his hands roaming all over the brunet’s body.

“Like that, just like that”, he cries muffling his moans with his free hand, trying to stroke himself keeping a steady pace and failing.

Everything is over way too soon and the air feels like it’s punch out of his lungs, he gasps bending further down grasping at the tile wall as he comes in long shots, still stroking himself through his orgasm, his seed washing away in seconds along the hot water.

_Well, that was amazing._


	26. Chapter 26

It’s Friday and there aren’t any shows Steve’s interested about, or any new movies at the cinema, also no plans with anyone in particular, he’s wrapping up at the shop to head home when he gets a text from Bucky.

 **Bucky:** You busy?

 **Steve:** Noup, I was about to head home

 **Bucky:** Want to come over?

 **Steve:** Yeah, sure!

 **Bucky:** Oh, wait, you take Captain out in the evening :o

 **Steve:** I got him a sitter! My neighbor’s kid, Miles, I’ll just text him to let him know I’ll be at home a bit later

 **Bucky:** Awesome! I’m making some spaghetti :)

 **Steve:** YUMM! Ok, heading there, see you in a bit c:

Steve barely started to type the text message to Miles when his phone starts ringing on his hand, “hello?” he picks up.

“Steve? This is Miles”, the kid says.

“Oh, hey”, Steve hums back.

“Hey sooo”, Miles humms, “I was wondering if Captain could stay the night here?” The kid wonders.

“Actually, I was going to ask you if he could stay a bit longer, I’m going to be home late, but is your mom okay with him staying the night?” Steve adds.

“Yeah, mom is the one who suggested it”, he comments, “the thing is, my cousins are staying the night”, Miles says.

“Aha?” Steve indicates to continue.

“And my older cousin is going to tell us scary stories, and my little sister really wants someone to protect her”, he explains.

“Captain is the friend for the job, no doubt about that”, Steve smiles.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, so can he?” Miles asks in a hoping tone.

“Absolutely, take care of him, okay?” the blond says.

“Yes, sir, see you tomorrow Steve”, he cheers, “by the way, my mom is telling me to remind you about the neighbor get-together next Thursday, the 27th, after 6”, Miles explains, “my Daaaaad is telling me, you can bring a friend or girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever, and now he’s saying that I shouldn’t have said whatever…” the kid giggles.

“Ok, thanks, Miles, see you tomorrow”, he laughs.

“Bye, dude”, Miles says and Steve smiles when he hears Captain barking in the back.

He hangs up and walks towards the lobby where Darcy is, “you should head home”, Steve indicates her.

“Home, you’re kidding right? It’s Friday night, I’m going out”, she cheers in excitement.

“Oh, sorry, us old people need to get some rest, you know?” Steve smirks.

“Us old people, yeah right”, Darcy giggles, “you’re not going out tonight?” She waved a hand at him.

“I’m going to Bucky’s”, he says back.

“Oh yeaaah, so much rest”, she chuckles shaking her head.

“Yeah, yeah”, he rolls his eyes, “goodnight, Darcy”, the blond says leaving the shop.

***

Bucky is alone in the apartment, Natasha is staying at Clint’s tonight, and Steve is coming over. It’s the first time that Steve comes over actually, _this is exciting, it’s not like something is going to happen_.

He’s placing the spaghetti in a large pot full of water; he takes the Ragu sauce out of the pantry, a frying pan to heat it on while he’s making meatballs in another pot. When the spaghetti is almost done, he places the sauce on the frying pan steering it a bit. In no time, he hears someone ringing the intercom and he walks up to the door.

“Hello?” he asks holding down the button.

“Hey, Bucky”, Steve’s voice comes through the intercom.

“Hi, Steve, wait a sec”, he presses the door buzzer to let Steve inside the building, a couple of few minutes later he hears a soft knock at the door, “it’s open!” he yells from the kitchen.

“Hey, should I close the door?” he hears Steve’s voice coming from the living room.

“Yes, please”, Bucky says.

“Hi”, Steve says poking his head inside the kitchen, “smells great”, he points at the stove smiling.

“Can you set the table? This is almost done”, he informs with a nod.

“Okay, where is the stuff?” the blond wonders.

“The placemats are on top of the microwave and the cutlery is in the third drawer”, he nods his head at the direction of the microwave at the end of the counter.

“Okay… glasses?” Steve wonders.

“This drawer here”, he says lifting up his head.

Steve places everything on the table and walks next to Bucky to retrieve a pair of glasses from the drawer on his right, he stares at him and offers a smile, and Bucky grins back.

“Sit down, this is done”, Bucky grabs a pair of clean dishes and serves some spaghetti and meatballs on them, he grated some cheese previously and places it on the middle of the table with some salad and dressing.

“I thought you didn’t like vegetables”, Steve comments.

“Yeah, but you do and besides Ranch Dressing!” he says cheerfully as he sits down and reaches for the salad.

The blond holds his fork and stick it into his food, giving it a few swirls to bring some of the food to his mouth, Bucky watches him closely on the corner of his eye tying not to feel nervous.

“This is really good”, Steve announces with a nod and the brunet sighs to himself in relief.

“It’s just spaghetti and meatballs, Steve”, he comments trying to sound casual.

“Still, it’s good”, Steve shrugs.

“Thanks”, he smiles.

***

The evening is going smoothly, it feels really nice, Bucky’s spaghetti is just right, and the meatballs are great, _he even tossed a salad!_

Steve thinks back on what Clint said a couple of weeks ago, he really wishes they were dating so he could grab a hold of Bucky´s hand while they ate, giving a gentle squeeze and Bucky smiling back at him, to let Bucky know this isn’t just dinner with a friend, that dessert wasn’t just some chocolate ice cream, but he doesn’t do that, he can’t.

The blond swallows down his thoughts with a sip of iced tea and continues to eat in silence, chuckling when Bucky stuffs his mouth with a huge piece of bread, then Bucky giggles too when Steve starts chocking with his drink, the brunet rubs Steve back soothingly and Steve tries hard not to blush, and he continues to cough just to keep Bucky’s hand on his back, nobody is there to notice.

They finish the food some time later and they stand up to clear the table, “I’ll wash the dishes”, he offers.

“I’m not complaining”, Bucky laughs.

Bucky is leaning against on the counter drinking more iced tea just staring at Steve while he does the dishes, the brunet has an unreadable expression on his face and Steve is starting to feel weird.

“What?” he asks smirking.

“Nothing, I just”, the man sighs, “no, it’s nothing” Bucky shakes his head and looks down at the floor.

“What is it?” Steve insists.

“I was just thinking that you fit in anywhere”, Bucky smiles

***

 _More like you fit in here with me,_ is what Bucky really wants to say but he can’t bring himself to confess that.

“Well, I’m comfortable around you so…” Steve shrugs and looks away to continue rinsing the dishes. _Is he blushing?_

“You know, it was meant as a compliment”, Bucky says.

“Thanks”, Steve stares back up and looks at Bucky straight in the eyes, the brunet blinks a few times without saying anything and then Steve breaks the eye contact and moves again to rinse his hands and reaches for a towel.

“C’mon, let me give you the tour”, Bucky comments walking out of the kitchen, “over here is our living room”, he moves into the long corridor and points to the right. They walks straight down the little hall and he points to the left, “this is Natasha’s room, we’re not allowed in there without her permission, I think she keeps a lock on the door”, he jokes.

“Really?” Steve asks incredulously.

“Of course not”, he answers laughing and opening Nat’s room, “look at it, it’s so tidy, she’s nuts”, he giggles some more, “she even has a punching bag in here”, Bucky says walking into the room and pushing the bag that’s hanging from the ceiling in the far right corner, Steve stays by the doorframe leaning against it just looking at him or the room, Bucky doesn’t know.

“Ok, so next”, he says walking back out with Steve in tow, “this is our studio, that’s Nat’s desk and that’s mine, we don’t really use this room, we usually work in the living room”, he comments swinging the door open of the room in front of Natasha’s.

***

Bucky is showing him around the apartment but Steve isn’t paying a lot of attention, at least not to his surroundings, just at the man in front of him. Being alone with Bucky at his house it’s surreal, the guy moves differently, more relaxed and at peace, Bucky is walking around barefoot with a pair of baggy gray sweatpants and an old Gorilla Biscuits t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, and Steve can see his shoulder brace under the fabric.

The whole place has Bucky’s personality written all over it, sure Natasha’s touch was dully noted in a lot of the decorations but Steve can easily spot who chose what. They walk pass the studio and then down the hall again, “that’s the bathroom”, Bucky says, “and the last room is mine”, the man shrugs, “c’mon, let’s go to the living room”, Bucky turns around to start walking.

“Wait a second, you showed me Nat’s room but not yours?” he lifts his eyebrow at Bucky in question.

“Hmmm, yes”, he hums.

“C’mon, Buck!” Steve insists.

“Hey, I haven’t seen your room”, Bucky folds his arms over his chest.

“You haven’t asked”, the blond says in a mocking voice.

“Fine, but you have to show me your room next time”, Bucky demands pointing a finger at him, “wait a sec, cover your eyes for a bit”, he demands opening the door.

“Okay”, he giggles putting a hand over his eyes; he can hear Bucky fumbling with stuff in the background.

“Ok, you can open your eyes”, Bucky indicates.

Steve looks around the place, blinking slowly trying to suck in everything. Bucky has a few framed posters hanging on the walls, black and white photographs, around the room, a wall filled with bookshelves, magazines and books pilling up in them, there’s a large leather designer reclining chair near the tall window that is currently covered with the gray curtains, his Gibson and another two guitars standing on the side.

The whole apartment has a mixture of styles considering only a few pieces of furniture match but everything feels complementing, but Bucky’s room is specially industrial with the red bricks walls exposed, gray and dark colors on furniture and stainless steal lights hanging from the high ceiling.

He notices the familiar mirror on the side of the bed, a low bed about 10 inches above the floor, the dark treated wood floor, the closet on the right, a small coffee table against the wall with more books on top of it. _Everything screams Bucky._

“What do you think?” Bucky asks with a small smile on his lips.

“It’s fantastic, it’s really you”, Steve nods, “is that our picture?” Steve says walking towards a framed picture on the wall.

“Yeah, it’s a nice pic”, Bucky says behind him, Steve smiles at him and continued to look around, staring at the details and small things that might say more things about Bucky.

“What were you fiddling with?” Steve wonders.

“There was like a bunch of clothes on the floor and my bed wasn’t made”, he confesses.

“Well, it’s nice”, Steve shrugs.

“C’mon, let’s go watch a movie”, Bucky insists pulling him by the wrist.

***

Bucky couldn’t deal with Steve standing in the middle of his room anymore; if they stayed there any longer he was going to have a heart attack _or do something really, really stupid_.

“Hey, I read the manga”, Steve comments sitting down on the couch.

“Yeah? What did you think about it?” Bucky says looking back at Steve.

_Was he looking at my ass?_

“I’m scared but I’m intrigued”, Steve says looking up at him straight in the eyes.

_No, he wasn’t._

“I’d lend you mine so you can keep reading but they’re in Japanese”, Bucky comments sadly.

“Don’t worry about it, there’s a comic book store near the shop, I’m going to ask them for the next installment”, Steve nods.

“What do you want to watch?” Bucky questions walking to the TV.

“What do you have?” Steve wonders.

“Netflix”, Bucky shrugs.

“Oh, I’ve wanted to watch ‘Mud’ for a while”, the blond remembers.

“It’s that Mathew McConaughey movie, right?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah”, Steve hums.

“Alright, alright, alright”, Bucky jokes trying to mock a southern accent and Steve laughs out loud, “you look for it, I’ll make popcorn and bring something to drink,” Bucky hands him the remote.

Bucky walks towards the kitchen leaving Steve in the living room, he looks back over his shoulder and smiles to himself when he sees Steve taking a seat on the couch, Bucky’s couch. _Holy shit, he’s really here_. When the popcorn is done, he goes back and takes a seat on the floor in front of Steve, in between his legs, the bowl of popcorn on his lap and the drinks on the table in front of him.

Halfway through the movie, he feels Steve leaning forward, “you want to stand up?” Bucky asks looking over his shoulder.

“Uh no I was- I was going to ask you if you wanted a massage, that time at the party I didn’t do much”, Steve offers nervously, “and you know, you’re kinda in position and I though you might need it”, he shrugs.

_Is he for real?_

“Are you kidding?” He giggles trying to take off his brace as fast as possible without removing his shirt. 

“Calm down, Bucky, let me help you”, Steve chuckles leaning forward to assist Bucky removing the brace from his shoulder, carefully and slowly pulling at the Velcro in the back, like if he did it a bit faster he would hurt Bucky somehow, and the brunet only wants to rip it off.

When the thing is finally off and forgotten on the table, Bucky leans back against the couch with Steve’s legs wide open pressing to his sides. Steve starts massaging both shoulders gently, his strong hands squeezing a bit, stretching and rubbing his skin up to his neck, stroking gently with his fingers and moving his thumbs in circles.

_I died and went to heaven._

***

Steve has been fiddling with the idea in his head since Bucky sat in front of him, he wanted to touch him, but he didn’t know if he should ask, this was definitely more of a selfish request than an altruistic one, but Bucky doesn’t have to know that, _right?_

Bucky’s skin is soft and pliable, smooth under Steve’s calloused fingers, his shoulders and neck are really tense, Steve isn’t sure if it’s because he’s touching him or if he’s stiff from sitting behind a desk the whole day, although Bucky did seem to like the contact that the blond offered. Steve applies a bit of force to the massage but not enough to hurt, just to untangle the knots in Bucky’s back, pressing his fingers while he moves his hand up and down.

He keeps stroking slowly, he can feel Bucky relaxing under his touch, the blond shifts his hands to the sides of Bucky’s arms and back up to his shoulders, being careful not to apply the same amount of pressure to the left one, Steve can feel Bucky’s sharp collarbones under his fingers and he tries to shake away the urge to lean in and kiss them, he moves his hands again around Bucky’s neck pressing his thumbs against his nape, the brunet’s fast pulse under his fingertips.

Then Bucky gasps softly, almost like a whimper, Steve panics for a second and starts rubbing softly instead of squeezing.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks quickly

“Umm, no”, the guy shakes he head, “sorry, it just feels really good”, Bucky whispers.

“Oh, ok”, Steve’s glad Bucky can’t see him because he’s blushing red as a tomato, “just let me know if it hurts, okay?” he says.

“Mmhhm”, Bucky hums with a nod.

***

Bucky’s skin is sizzling under Steve’s touch, he can feel goose bumps going down his spine as Steve rubs his hands up and down and from side to side slowly. Steve has been at it for a while and the movie ended seconds ago. Steve moves his hands down to the center of his back and Bucky is lost in sensation.

He gasps again and grunts in pleasure, closing his eyes tightly. _Shit, I have to control myself._ Bucky leans a bit forward automatically when he feels Steve’s hand going down again, the blond rubs down his lower back and Bucky has to brace himself on the table in front of him for support, the feeling is exquisite and Bucky feels more relaxed than ever, but he has to make him stop.

He gulps down hardly and gapes his mouth, “Steve”, he says almost like a whisper, “that’s ok, I feel a lot better now”, he says gasping for air as Steve strokes a few times across his whole back a few times until he finally stops.

“Yeah, ok”, Steve leans back on the couch, “you know, it’s getting late, I should be heading home”, he comments quickly.

“Okay”, he answers standing up.

_Oh God, yes please, get out!_

Bucky grabs the almost empty bowl of popcorn from the floor and places it in front of his lap trying to cover the lump inside his pants _. Please, don’t look down, please, don’t look down_.

Steve takes his jacket and helmet from the kitchen and comes back straight to the door, Bucky follows him and he feels relived when Steve opens the door himself, “Thanks, I really had a great time”, Bucky grins at him.

“Yeah, me too”, Steve smiles wide and Bucky regrets speaking, his hard cock twitching inside his pants.

_It’s just a smile, goddamn it!_

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” the brunet says hopefully.

“Yeah, if not then we can talk or something”, Steve offers.

“Sure thing”, Bucky nods.

“Nite, Buck”, Steve smiles again and Bucky has to steady himself gripping a bit tighter the bowl he’s still holding.

“Good night, Steve”, Bucky smirks and with that Steve’s finally out the door.

Bucky watches him leave shamelessly staring at his ass until the man disappears down the stairs, Bucky almost tosses the bowl across the room and swings the door shut, he runs back to his room not bothering to close the door since Natasha won’t be back tonight, he really needs to lay down and rest for a moment.

 _Yeah, right, rest_.

***

Steve drives his motorcycle back home with a pressing hard-on inside his jeans. It’s all kinds of embarrassing, painful and annoying but he has to suck it up because he was the one that started this in the first place.

He had been touching Bucky during the whole movie, the one he didn’t even pay attention to, and Steve had to put a pillow on top of his lap in case Bucky turned around. But even after feeling his dick stiffening inside his jeans, right there in Bucky’s apartment he couldn’t stop the massage, Bucky was making the sweetest little noises and they were driving Steve insane, he knew it was so wrong but it just felt too good.

As he walks into his house, he searches around for Captain until he remembers his friend is staying over the neighbor’s, he sits down on the couch alone in his living room and pulls down his jeans and boxers briefs in one quick movement, he pulls out his cock and starts rubbing quickly with the same hands that had been on Bucky’s skin a few minutes ago.


	27. Chapter 27

Steve just wrapped up with Pietro, “thanks man, this is awesome, I’ll be back in no time, if you know what I mean”, the younger man points to the fresh hourglass tattoo on his arm, “you won’t even see me coming”, he winks and walks out of the shop holding his sister’s hand. 

_So weird._

He goes to the back of the shop where they have a resting area and a little kitchen, he’s stretching his back when he feels a buzz inside his pocket, he stares at the screen for a second, the phone hasn’t stopped buzzing, _it’s a call, dumbass._

“Hey, Buck”, he answers quickly.

“Hi, Steve, am I interrupting something?” Bucky asks over the phone.

“Oh no, just wrapped up a client, what’s up?” Steve puts the phone between his ear and shoulder while he opens a bottle of water.

“I see, I texted you earlier but you didn’t answer so I figured I’d call, I’m on my lunch break”, the brunet comments.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see your message”, he apologizes and kicks himself internally.

“It’s okay, so I was wondering…” Bucky starts but he gets quiet for a couple of seconds.

“Yes?” Steve says to check if Bucky is still on the other line.

“I was wondering if you want to go to tonight’s show with me, I really want to see Touché Amoré and I believe Nat is doing something with Clint tonight, I don’t know if the Howling’s are going to be there, but I don’t want to go alone to HYDRA”, Bucky explains, sounding _nervous?_

“Hmm, I don’t knowww”, Steve teases elongating the last word. _Of course I’ll go_.

“Oh c’mon, I know it’s not your cup of tea, but at least you’ll have the privilege of my company”, he says and Steve could swear he hears the smirk on Bucky face. _It is a privilege indeed._

“Who else is playing?” Steve wonders just to know, his answer is already yes.

“Well, I believe the lineup goes from 2 locals to Carvels, Seahaven, Mewithoutyou and Touché, I know you enjoy Seahaven although it’s not your usual genre”, Bucky informs.

“Yeah, they’re nice and yes, I’ll go with you,” Steve smiles. _Of course I’ll go with you, anywhere really._

“Yayyy! The doors open at 7, but I know you’ll be finishing by then, so I’ll see you at 7:30, perhaps?” Bucky asks.

“Sounds good, I’ll see you later then”, Steve agrees.

“Sweet, have a nice day”, Bucky says cheerfully.

“Thanks, you too”, he returns smiling wide.

***

Bucky runs a hand through his face rubbing at his chin, he sighs loudly as he hears footsteps coming towards him, “still pining?” Tony asks not looking up from his tablet, then he puts it on top of the counter and pulls something out of the fridge,” blueberry?” he offers.

“No, thanks”, he shakes his head. _And yes, still pinning._

“How’s your crush doing?” Tony asks.

“Not doing”, Bucky frowns sadly.

“Yeah, but I bet you’d like him to, do you think his dick is as pretty as his face, or prettier?” Tony wonders with a shrug.

“Antonio!” Bucky yells.

_Prettier, definitely prettier._

“Is he bothering you?” Pepper’s voice comes into the room as she walks to stand next to Tony and steal a handful of blueberries.

“Always”, Bucky puts his elbows over the table and rests his head on the heels of his hands.

“Bucky here has a crush on our golden boy”, Tony informs.

“Aww sweetie, does he know?” She pats Bucky’s shoulder gently.

“No, of course not”, he says rising his head.

“You should talk to him about your feelings”, she says and Tony gives her a weird look.

“That’s exactly what Natasha said!” He exclaims in defeat.

“You know something I don’t?” Tony asks.

“I’m a woman, Tony, of course I know a lot of things you don’t know”, she cups Tony’s cheek and gives him a teasing smirk, “now, if you’d excuse me gentlemen, I have things to do”, she says before kissing Tony’s cheek where her hand used to be and moves across the room towards a table full of ladies chatting enthusiastically.

“What does that even mean?” Tony asks frowning his eyebrows.

“It means, you know nothing, Jon Snow”, Bucky pats Tony’s shoulder as he chuckles walking away from the room.

***

It’s 7:40 and Steve just parked on a permitted area near HYDRA, he figures Bucky should be there by now, he goes inside when he doesn’t see him by the door and greets a few people he knows on his way there, he’s at the back room where the shows are held but Bucky is nowhere to be seen, _where is he?_

He scratches the back of his neck and checks his phone. _He said 7:30, didn’t he?_ He walks back to the bar area to look around, _maybe he’s sitting by the bar?_

“Bonjour, Steve!” Batroc says behind the counter of the bar.

“Hey man, nice jacket”, Steve points at the purple leather jacket the man is wearing. _Purple, really?_

“In battle, as in life, style is all-important”, he comments with a thick French accent.

“Um, sure”, he says in dismissal, “hey you know Bucky, have you seen him around?” Steve asks.

“Négatif”, he shakes his head pouring some alcohol in a glass for a guy who was sitting at a stool in front of him.

“Are you sure?” Steve questions again. _I don’t know why I don’t believe this guy._

“Batroc never lies!” he exclaims, “were you meeting him here?” he adds.

“Yes”, he answers plainly looking around.

“Maybe he stood you up, c'est la vie!” Batroc shrugs his shoulders.

“Yeah, I guess”, he sighs before walking away.

_But Bucky wouldn’t do that, would he?_

It’s barely past 8 by now and the first band is finishing their set, the second one is getting their stuff ready to set them up stage. Steve stands outside the doors of the place in case Bucky hasn’t arrived yet, he doesn’t want to be by himself inside that place, he feels eyes staring at him, judging looks and stares making him feel uncomfortable, he figures that Bucky is stuck at work or something, he takes out his phone to text him just to be sure.

***

Bucky gets to HYDRA at 7:30, _just in time_ , he’s standing outside, not wanting to go inside by himself in case Brock or any of his friends are there, he’s about to put on his earphones and wait for Steve when he feels a palm on his left shoulder, he yelps a little at the sudden contact.

“James, can we have a word, please?” Mr. Pierce says in a steady tone, the creepy tone that made Bucky’s insides feel tight.

“But… I’m waiting for someone”, Bucky informs looking down at Mr. Pierce’s hand still on his shoulder.

“It will only be a couple of minutes”, he gives Bucky a fond smile, or what seamed to be a fond smile.

“Okay”, Bucky nods following the man to the back of the bar where his office is located.

“Close the door behind you, do you want something to drink?” Mr. Pierce asks as he goes to sit behind his desk.

“I’m okay Mr. Pierce, thank you”, Bucky says still standing by the door.

“James, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Alex”, the older man shakes his head in disappointment.

“I’m sorry”, Bucky sighs looking down at his hands.

Bucky doesn’t know why but for some reason he feels so small around Mr. Pierce, perhaps is the way that him and Brock are always looking down at people like they own them, mistreating them like they don’t deserve their time, Bucky always tried to avoid their conversations.

“Have a seat, please”, Mr. Pierce offers but it sounded more as a demand, waving a hand at the couple of chairs in front or him, Bucky does as told and sits in silence.

“I’m not going to lie James, I feel a little disappointed”, Mr. Pierce frowns at him, Bucky just tilts his head in confusion. _What did I do?_

“Brock told me you guys played over at SHIELD two weeks ago”, he says plainly.

“So?” Bucky shrugs.

“I know your band has been getting a lot of attention lately, and I don’t want you to forget where you come from and I believe you owe a little bit of that to this place”, Mr. Pierce sounds angry.

“With all due respect, sir”, Bucky sighs deeply before he continues, “I don’t want you to believe I don’t appreciate what you’ve done by offering a place for us to play, but everything we’ve accomplished is because those guys work really hard at what they do and they do it because they love it”, he explains, “we’re not here for the fans even though we do appreciate them but this is more about our passion for music and the scene than for us to become famous”, Bucky says looking at the man straight in the eyes.

Bucky remembers like it was yesterday, the first time they played at HYDRA; the rest of the guys had never played live before Bucky joined the band, Bucky’s first gig was at HYDRA. Brock offered that he had a friend that owned a bar where he hosted punk shows from time to time.

When he first met Brock, the guy was loving and thoughtful, friendly and flirty, Bucky enjoyed his company and they became friends right away, then they started fooling around and Bucky found himself having feelings for Brock; when Bucky confessed this to the guy, that’s where everything went south, he became cold and distant, Brock just talked to Bucky when he was bored or horny, _I was just a fucking booty call._

Brock was the possessive jealous boyfriend, _without the boyfriend tag_ , he didn’t let Bucky hang out with his friends, he didn’t want him to go to band practice, he didn’t let him talk to new people, he didn’t allow him go to shows at SHIELD, he didn’t let him talk to his family, _basically, he didn’t let me do shit._ Despite that,Bucky told him he wanted to have a relationship with him, something more serious; that was the first time, _but not the last_ , that Brock hit Bucky, and he answered to Bucky’s suggestion with, “I don’t want to make myself unavailable”. _That asshole._

Bucky didn’t enjoy playing at HYDRA after that, because Mr. Pierce is Brock’s friend and he always felt intimidated. The shows at HYDRA weren’t bad but the conditions sucked: they always opened for other bands and it was hard on them because not many people showed up early, they had to sell 50 tickets at least if not they would have to pay them from their money, they always were there on time for sound check but it always started late so their time in stage was always cut off.

“I don’t want to put yourself in this situation James but if you want to keep playing here I’m going to have to ask you to stop at SHIELD”, Mr. Pierce warns.

“Well, maybe we don’t want to play here anymore”, Bucky says with determination on his voice.

“Don’t you think your band-mates will get mad at you for making that decision for them?” Alex questions rising an eyebrow.

“They’ll live”, he shrugs.

“Maybe they’ll kick you out”, Mr. Pierce says in a teasing tone.

“I don’t think so, and if they do, they’ll be fine without me, they’re great guys”, Bucky nods proudly.

“Yeah, but they’re nothing without you, you’ve done so good for this place Bucky, you can’t leave us like this”, the guy praises, trying to convince Bucky.

“That is not true, besides it’s not like you own us”, Bucky growls as his phone buzzes on his pocket, he notices it’s a text message from Steve.

 **Steve:** Where are you? I’m outside.

He reads the message and stand up, “I thank you sir for inviting us to play here but I believe that won’t be happening again any time soon, now if you’d excuse me, I’m going to enjoy the show now”, he turns on his heels and Mr. Pierce is speechless behind him, and Bucky feels lighter, taller even.

_I won’t be bossed around by anyone anymore, fuck no._

***

“Hey!” Bucky comes from inside with a smile.

“Hi, you were inside this whole time, I couldn’t find you”, Steve shakes his head.

“Sorry, I got here early but Mr. Pierce wanted to talk”, Bucky apologizes.

“Oh, is it me or is he an odd fella?” The blond frowns.

“He is odd and fucking annoying”, Bucky huffs

“I guess that talk didn’t go too well”, Steve assumes.

“Let’s just say we wont be playing here anymore”, the guy shrugs.

“Oh, I’m sorry” he says.

“I’m not”, Bucky smiles wide.

_I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad._

“Do you want to leave?” Steve wonders.

“No, I wont let him ruin the show for us, c’mon”, Bucky pulls him by the wrist back inside and Steve has to fight the urge to interlock their fingers.

They stand in the middle of the room in silence while they wait for the band to start playing, tonight’s show isn’t precisely in the hardcore genre so there isn’t going to be a mosh-pit, they’re bands more in the experimental/grunge area, something that Steve isn’t too much into, but it’s okay. He enjoys music in general, he could be listening to something he doesn’t like and it wouldn’t matter because he’s here with Bucky and that is more than enough for him.

By the time Seahaven begins to play, he looks in the corner of his eye and notices that Bucky is humming and dancing a little, then Bucky notices Steve is looking at him and bumps his hip into Steve’s, the blond laughs a bit, then Bucky grabs him by the wrists and starts to move his arms, inviting him to move along.

“I can’t”, Steve yells at Bucky’s direction shacking his head.

“C’mon, Stevie”, Bucky insists and starts singing loudly along with the band, Steve knows the lyrics but he isn’t singing. Bucky’s smile is so contagious that he found himself smiling wide too.

_Aggh, fuck it!_

Steve starts to sing along with Bucky, both facing the stage to move their bodies to the music, they’re really close but they aren’t touching, that until Bucky places his right arm around Steve’s shoulder, and Steve positions his left harm around Bucky’s waist almost immediately, feeling Bucky’s hip bone through the fabric of his t-shirt. They stand like that for a few songs, singing along and moving their bodies softly along the melodies until the band ends their set.

The rest of the bands aren’t bad either but Steve doesn’t know too much about them, but they don’t go outside like they usually would, the just stay there at the back of the room, laughing and talking about everything and anything.

When the last band of the night is about to start, Touché Amoré, Steve notices that Bucky is excited, Steve has seen them live before and they put on a really interesting show. They play a few songs and Bucky is singing softly by his side until they start playing “Just Exist” and Bucky is jumping in his place.

“Hey, would you take care of my wallet and keys? I don’t want to lose them”, Bucky says pointing at the stage.

“Sure”, Steve nods.

Bucky hands him his things and squeezes his hand smiling wide, “thanks”, he smiles before he starts walking away towards the stage, moving smoothly through the crowd. He sees Bucky stage diving a few times and singing along with the other people in the front and Steve smiles to himself.

The blond notices the people starts going crazy when “Home Away From Here” starts to play loudly through the speakers; they always play it last. He sees Bucky looks really happy moving along with the people; he even gets to sing a few parts of the song as the vocalist shares over the microphone. The band ends playing and everybody starts to scatter around, but he stands there waiting for Bucky, the brunet is talking to the guys from the band while they pick up their stuff.

“Hey”, Steve smiles to Bucky when he’s coming closer to him.

“I was telling them how great the show was and one thing led to another and we ended up talking about the Howling’s, they ask me for our Bandcamp, they’re really nice guys”, Bucky nods happily.

“That’s really cool”, Steve grins, Bucky is trying to put his messy hair back in place but he ends up screwing it up more, “here, just let me…” Steve lifts his arms to reach for Bucky’s hair.

***

Steve is standing really close to him, so close he can feel the blonde’s warm breath and smell the Old Spice from his skin, Steve is a little taller than him, the guy is looking at his hair as he combs it with his long fingers to put it back in place, his hair is a little longer now, right bellow his ear. While Steve continues to control his hair, Bucky stares at Steve’s pink lips that are forming a soft little smile.

“There you go”, Steve says taking a step back.

“Thanks”, he offers a smile.

“Any time”, Steve smiles back.

“So, are you hungry?” Bucky wonders.

“Always”, Steve giggles.

“Do you want to go to the diner?” the brunet asks.

_Please say yes, I don’t want to go home yet._

“Sure”, Steve nods.

They go out with happy expressions on their faces, each of them hop into their vehicles and agree on meeting at the diner that’s only a few blocks away, the same diner where Bucky saw him with Brock that time, he sighs deeply at the memory, glad that they didn’t see him today at the show, Steve isn’t anything _like that douchebag._

A few minutes later they’re sitting at the diner, waiting for the _chatty, bimbo, noisy_ waitress to bring their food, Bucky had rolled his eyes when she approached them when they arrived, her eyes instantly glued to the blond in front of him.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, why you guys aren’t playing at HYDRA anymore?” Steve asks.

“Well, let’s just say it was getting kinda unpleasant, Mr. Pierce has a lot of stupid conditions and he’s always acting like we owe him”, Bucky explains before taking a sip from his milkshake.

“That’s just nonsense, you’re the ones who’ve been working hard to become this good and he has nothing to do with it”, Steve comments.

“Thanks, that’s what I said, sort of”, Bucky shrugs, “I guess he’s-” the brunet starts but get interrupted by the waitress and their food, the girl doesn’t even says anything and just dumps their plates on the table trying to draw attention.

“Can I get you anything else?” She says looking at Steve and Bucky rolls his eyes dramatically.

“No sweetie, we are good here”, Bucky answers plainly before Steve can say anything. 

_Seriously, I know he’s handsome but EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME!_

“My name is Lindsay, just call me if you need anything”, she winks at Steve before walking away, the blond blushes a little and returns his attention back to their food.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, Bucky can feel Steve is staring at him but he’s not sure since he’s trying not to pay attention, he’s too busy drowning his French fries with ketchup to avoid looking at Steve blushing over a girl. When he finally looks up, Steve is happily biting down on his hamburger.

_Double meat, double cheese and bacon, how can he eat all that?_

“She’s cute”, Bucky says.

***

“Who is?” Steve wonders.

“The waitress, Lindsay or whatever”, Bucky shrugs.

“Yeah, I guess, I don’t know, I really didn’t notice”, Steve says after swallowing a mouthful of food, humming to himself, _because this food is fucking delicious._

“Oh c’mon, don’t act like you’re blind because I’m sure as hell am not” Bucky sounds uneasy.

“Well, I don’t know where this is coming from but can we change the subject, please?” he says. After the waitress winked at him and made him feel awkward and blush like a teenager, he really doesn’t want to talk about it and make Bucky feel uncomfortable, _more than he already is,_ he just wants to forget that even happened and go back to eating.

“Okay then”, Bucky huffs going back to pay attention to his sagging fries, “do you think Phil would let us play over at SHIELD again?” Bucky questions sounding more like himself.

“Of course, I believe there’ll always be a place for you at SHIELD”, Steve says with confidence.

“I know the guys have been wanting to play there for a while but I was always the reason we didn’t and the last time we played there I really enjoyed it”, Bucky comments, “what happened with Brock fucked everything up but that isn’t anybody’s fault but mine”, the brunet sighs, Steve is now pissed.

_So fucking pissed._

_How can he think anything that asshole did to him is his fault?_

Steve stops what he’s doing and reaches to grab Bucky’s hand squeezing it a little, the brunet clearly wasn’t expecting it and and his eyes open wide, “Bucky, I want you to listen, and listen very closely”, Steve demands, “it’s not your fault what Brock did to you, any of it”, he shakes his head, “I don’t want to hear you say that ever again, and if he ever forces you to do something you don’t want, I’m going to chop his dick off”, Steve warns as he looks at Bucky straight in the eyes.

_I’ve had it with that moron._

“Okay”, Bucky whispers in a little voice staring down at their hands, Steve is still holding Bucky’s, and then the other man starts to chuckle before it turns into a full body laughter, “thanks, I’ll probably pay to see that”, he smiles wide

“You’re sick”, Steve shakes his head.

“A little”, Bucky shrugs, “you’re the one who started it though”, he points at him.

“You’re right”, he chuckles, “ but I’m being serious here, what I said about SHIELD is true, Phil hosts shows over there all the time because he loves supporting the scene, he’s a part of it, he’s not there for the money or to try to discover the next big thing, nobody cares about that and it’s a good thing you have a place to play where you can feel comfortable”, Steve nods, trying to change the subject again.

“Yeah, I noticed”, Bucky says munching on his fries, “Phil is a really nice guy, I’ll talk to him about it”, he nods.

With that, the conversation goes on as they finish their food, talking about their favorite bands, the best and worst shows they’ve been to, crazy stories about weird bands and odd people, and so on. They talk practically until their dinner is done and Bucky is down on his second milkshake, _the first one was chocolate, this one was Oreo._

They go back into the night when the diner is being closed behind them; Bucky and Steve say goodnight to each other and promise to text as soon as the other gets home and agree to meet later during the next week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to upload three chapters tonight because they're a bit short on their own, also because the chapter of the photo-shoot was really well-received, so thank you very much for that :D
> 
> I hope you like how the story is going so far and remember, your comments are more than welcome, even if you want to let me know how much you hate me x) you can message me here or on tumblr.
> 
> Thanks again, until next time <3


	28. Chapter 28

Today Bucky is meeting the ‘boys’, _more like grown ass men_ , for breakfast and then they are going to the shooting range were Clint works as a range master occasionally. Bucky is really excited to say the least, he wants to know what makes Steve’s friends so special, perhaps he can take one advice or two.

Steve had promised Natasha to help her move the equipment around at the gym meaning it would only be Sam, Clint and Bucky at the range, which makes him a bit nervous but he doesn’t even know why, the guys are harmless, but he’s entering into a completely different field, he just hopes he can keep up.

When the brunet arrives at the diner where they agreed to meet, he notices the men’s bikes tied outside, he locks his next to them and takes a deep breath before he moves inside. He walks into the dinner to find Clint and Sam talking with their backs to the entrance standing by the door.

“You have to be careful about what you ask, were treading on difficult waters here Clint, mind your language, don’t be too direct”, Sam says.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t prod at sensitive spots, I know”, Clint nods.

“Who’s sensitive spots?” Bucky interrupts with a smile.

“Oh, Bucky, didn’t hear you come in, we were just talking about a mutual friend!” Sam answers offering his hand and Bucky shakes it firmly.

“Yeah, we don’t know what’s going on with their love life”, Clint shrugs and Sam rubs his temple tiredly.

“Let’s go sit down, I’m hungry!” Sam yells.

***

Steve gets to the Red Room early, the place is a slightly bigger mess since the photo-shoot, and Natasha just re-painted the whole place and it smells like fresh chemicals, also there’s a lot of empty boxes around and more brand new gym equipment.

Natasha is talking to the other trainers in a circle in the middle of the place and he stays to the side to wait for her to finish, as soon as she’s done, she walks to greet him, “good morning”, she says.

“Morning”, he grins, “So, what are we doing today?” Steve wondered.

“Some real heavy lifting”, she points her head towards the corner of the place about a dozen pair of different size kettlebells and sand weights.

“Whoa, heavy lifting indeed”, he whistles.

“That’s the last thing that got here, we already installed the new bags and some of the equipment came with free installation”, the redhead shrugs.

“Oh, okay”, he nods.

“After that, I want you to check out the new cage”, she wiggles her eyebrows.

“You got a new cage?!” He exclaims in surprise.

***

“So Steve said, ‘Ma’am do you need some help?’ and this old lady, she just threw herself to the ground and whined: ‘my leg, Oh my! I can’t walk, please young man, help me get to my car’”, Bucky says laughing out loud.

Clint and Sam join him with chuckles and giggles, “Oh man, Steve and old ladies”, Sam shakes his head, “I took him to a family get together a while ago and they wanted to marry him to all of my cousins”, the man says.

“Steve is such a great guy thought”, Clint comments.

“Too good really”, Bucky nods taking a sip from his coffee. _Steve is too nice for his own good._

Sam stares at Clint and gives him a strange look, “he’s a good guy but he can be mischievous too, you know?” Sam shrugs casually.

“Yeah, right”, Bucky says sarcastically rolling his eyes.

“C’mon, he’s a total bad boy at heart, he drives a motorcycle, complete lady-killer”, Clint informs, Sam gives Clint the same strange look again. _Lady-killer, alright._

“Yes, he’s a heartthrob but he’s also really loyal and he’s shy but he knows what he wants”, Sam raises an eyebrow at him behind his glass of orange juice.

“Yeah, Steve has that whole ‘Friends, Family, Forever’ thing going on”, Bucky says matter of factly.

 “He’s also good at MMA!” Clint interrupts. _Good is an understatement._

“Oh yeah, I saw him during the photo-shoot”, Bucky comments trying to sound calm. _And oh boy, did I see._

“You know, he’s a great cook too”, Sam adds with a smirk.

“Oh man, I know! I went to eat at his house last week”, Bucky nods.

“Yeah, he makes really good pies”, Clint informs before eating a mouthful of his omelet.

“I’ve never eaten his pies out of the oven but I had some leftovers and it was great”, Bucky shrugs.

“He enjoys hardcore a lot but he really likes all types of music”, Sam informs.

“Oh yeah, he’s always hearing jazz and blues when we’re talking on Skype”, he says, _maybe that was TMI_ , Sam and Clint smile wide at him. _What’s going on?_

“We’re really glad you and Steve are hanging out more, Bucky”, Clint sighs.

“Yeah, you’re a great guy and he really likes you”, Sam adds.

“Thanks guys, I appreciate that”, Bucky smiles wide.

_Am I part of the boys now?_

***

It takes about an hour to move the kettlebells and the sand weights to their new home, and half an hour to install the gymnastic rings on top of the new CrossFit area, with the new flooring and all, Steve is a bit exhausted after all that.

“Oh man, that is the most I’ve lifted ever!” Steve exhales as he cleans the sweat drops on his forehead with the back of his sleeve.

“Oh c’mon, really?” Natasha smirks.

“How did the guys get this off the truck?” he asks pointing at the new bunch of tactical sandbags in front of them, “how did this even get transported, this is impossible”, he adds as he sees in awe the new bars and racks installments.

“You’re exaggerating now”, Natasha chuckles shaking her head.

“Look at the size of this thing! It’s like a bouncy ball”, Steve points at the 20 lbs. medicine ball.

“There’s nothing bouncy about it”, Natasha shrugs.

“You tell me!” he picks up the ball with one arm. _It’s actually not that heavy as it looks._

“Let’s go to the juice bar next door”, she demands walking away.

“Oh yes, that sounds good”, he shrugs following her, “wait, the new cage!” Steve demands.

“You’ll see it later, help me with these boxes, I want to take them to the recycling bin”, she informs.

“Yes, ma’am”, he nods.

***

They ride their bikes to the shooting range, the cold air hitting their faces and blowing their hair comfortably while the wheels circle fast against the concrete. When they arrive at the place Bucky stares at the place with wide, the building in front of him is huge, with tall windows and dark shades of gray and brown painting.

“So, is this like a hand gun range or like a rifle range?” Sam wonders.

“This is a handgun range Sam, obviously, were would you fit 100 yards in NYC? This isn’t a stadium, duh!” Clint gives Sam a smack on the back of his head.

“Jeez, take it easy”, Sam says and Bucky laughs.

_Now I know why Steve likes to hang out with them._

“You’ve never been here before either?” Bucky asks Sam.

“Noup, this moron never wants to bring me”, he points at Clint, “consider yourself special”, Sam adds.

“I’m nice like that”, Clint winks and Bucky giggles.

When they get inside, the Lobby is mostly alone, there is several safety regulation signs around the place about caliber restrictions and the use of automatic weapons. Clint makes them sign a waver and some other permits to use the guns, he gives them a number and they enter an airlock door and then a second one that head to the main area.

“Are these loaded?” Bucky asks as he is given a handgun.

“No, we’re loading them in the cubicle, it’s procedure”, Clint responds with a nod.

“That makes sense”, Sam shrugs.

Bucky notices the range is alone, numerous rail across the room with a cubicle each, “is it always this crowded?” Bucky comments sarcastically.

“Very funny”, Clint rolls his eyes and Sam laughs out loud, “it’s too early for a Sunday, and that’s better for us!” he cheers, “Ok, this is your cubicle, this is Sam’s and this one over here is mine, I’ll show you how to use the guns and then we can all shoot at the targets”, Clint instructs and does a few rounds on Sam’s line as an example.

Clint makes them put on some earmuffs to protect their ears and on top of them some headphones for safety. They stand in position like Clint taught them, shooting at a target that is positioned approximately 25 yards away from them.

There’s a table behind them with different types of guns which Clint explains each, they’re only standard pistol calibers like .22, 9 MM, .45 and so on, there’s also two different semi-automatic rifles.

“I though you said no rifles”, Sam complains.

“We have rifles, you can shoot in this target but it’s not the traditional range, duh!” Clint says as a matter of fact and now it’s time for Sam to give him a slap just like Clint did minutes ago, Bucky continues to laugh.

The man lets them chose whatever arm they want and Bucky instantly goes for the rifle, Sam and Clint tease him for using the ‘big boys gun’, the two of them select hand guns. Clint explains separately the features of the gun and lets them be after that. Bucky holds the rifle like it’s second nature, the butt of the stock against his shoulder and his right hand on the trigger, the left one holding the arm straight placed around the forestock. Bucky takes a deep breath without releasing the air and aim looking through the rear sight since these rifles don’t have a scope mounted on top, there’s no need to anyway.

There’s the loud sound of the shots repeatedly as they empty their rounds, when they’re done with the first one, Clint walks to a wall to move a switch that brings the targets close to them. They check that the guns aren’t loaded anymore and leave them on their cubicles to go inspect their targets sheets.

“Holy shit”, Sam says staring at Bucky’s target with wide eyes.

All of them have really good aims but Bucky’s is perfect, all rounds are in a straight line from the head to the stomach to the crotch, “I hit the head first, then I figured I would hit the stomach next and then the crotch, and then I still had some rounds left so I just hit all three again, and then I made a line with the bullets”, Bucky shrugs like it was nothing. _Piece of cake, really._

“And you’ve never done this before?” Clint asks.

“I’ve held a gun before and disarmed it, my father has one, but that’s about it, I’ve never actually used it”, he comments.

“This is crazy”, Sam whistles and Clint nods, the three of them staring down at the sheet.

“BUCKY, WHY AREN’T YOU DATING STEVE?!” Clint yells suddenly.

_What?_

“CLINT!” Sam interrupts narrowing his eyes at Clint while Bucky stares speechless between them.

“I’M SICK OF THIS, OKAY?” Clint huffs at Sam, “Tasha’ said she’s sure you’re into him, he’s obviously into you”, he says to Bucky, “why the fuck aren’t you guys dating then?” Clint demands.

“I’m going to kill Nat”, the brunet whispers to himself, “wait a second, what do you mean he’s into me? What are you talking about?” he asks, “Steve is straight”, Bucky shakes his head. _Isn’t he?_

“Clint”, Sam says with a warning tone.

“STEVE IS BISEXUAL!” Clint shouts again.

“What?” Bucky asks in surprise.

_What the actual fuck?_

“Well, Clint is not wrong”, Sam sighs heavily.

“What?” Bucky blinks rapidly trying to process their words, “no, he’s not, then if he’s interested why hasn’t he made a move?” he asks sadly, “everyone knows I’m gay”, he looks down at his hands.

_I’m telling you, he’s not interested._

“He thought you hated him for like the longest time and then he probably figured you weren’t interested”, Clint comments.

“Steve appreciates you a lot Bucky, and knowing him, he probably doesn’t want to ruin what you guys have”, Sam pats Bucky’s shoulder, and the brunet just wants to throw himself off from a moving train.

“He’s probably thinking that for now, that it’s enough, Clint says, “Steve has that problem, he overthinks a lot”, the man adds.

“Meanwhile, we’re dying because of this tension between you”, Sam comment with a chuckle.

Bucky is incredibly embarrassed, how can everyone tell how he feels for Steve, and how can they confuse Steve’s good character for an attraction for him. _This is just stupid, he obviously doesn’t like me._

***

“Bucky”, Natasha says plainly.

“What about Bucky?” he asks after taking a long sip of peach smoothie.

“What’s up with you two?” she wonders.

“What do you mean?” he frowns

“Like, you like him, right?” She asks but it isn’t exactly a question.

“I know I can’t lie to you”, Steve sighs heavily.

“Why haven’t you told him?” Natasha asks

“It’s just, I’m scared, I don’t…” he looks down to his hands as he fiddles with a napkin.

“Why? He obviously…” She starts and Steve looks at her with a warning tone to interrupt her.

“No, just don’t…” he shakes his head, “don’t say what you’re going to say because I’ll try to do something about it, and then he might reject me, I don’t know how to deal with that”, Steve says.

“Steve”, she whines shaking her head.

“He’s someone that you have to be careful around, specially about things like these, he might want me like I do, but maybe he doesn’t or maybe he changes his mind”, the blond shrugs.

“C’mon, you can’t think like this, what if this…” she trails squeezing Steve’s shoulder.

“I’ve been dishonest with him Natasha, he thinks we’re just friends, and we are but I do want something more, now I’ve left this gone too far and I don’t know what to say”, Steve explains

“Just promise me you’ll think about it, okay? At least talk to him”, Natasha demands and Steve nods.

_That’s the problem._

_It’s all I think about, all I think about it’s him._


	29. Chapter 29

“Hello Steve, good afternoon”, Pepper answers after the second ring.

It’s a Tuesday afternoon at the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop, Steve has an open space that day because he finished his first appointment earlier, and he figured he should see if Tony was available to finally start his tattoo. Steve was going to call Tony, or his assistant but he has a closer relationship with Pepper, he feels more comfortable talking to her, Steve doesn’t think Tony is annoying, _he’s just too full of himself._

“Hey Pep, I’m calling to see if Tony wouldn’t be able to come around the shop now to start early on his tattoo, surprisingly I have some free time right now, I know Tony is a busy man”, Steve comments.

“Indeed, he is busy but believe me, he will stop everything he’s doing as soon as I tell him you’re available right now, he’ll be there in half an hour, is that okay?” Pepper informs.

“Sure, I’ll get my stuff ready then”, he nods even though she can’t see him.

“Perfect, thank you, Steve”, the woman says before hanging up.

***

“Pack your things, we are leaving”, Tony is leaning against the doorframe from his office.

“Going where? I have things to do, Anthony”, Bucky informs not looking up from his notes.

“I know, but I pay you, it’s okay if I say you can have some time off”, Tony smirks.

“Well, technically you don’t pay me, your dad does”, Bucky points at Tony with his pencil.

“Yeah, whatever”, he waves a hand in dismissal, “well, I’m going to your boy’s shop, we’re starting my tattoo early, but since you don’t want to come, your loss”, Tony shrugs turning around.

_He’s going to Steve’s?_

“Hey Tony, wait! I’ll go with you”, Bucky stands up quickly, grabs his jacket from the coat rack and goes after Tony.

“I knew you couldn’t resist me”, Tony winks.

“As if”, Bucky frowns.

“C’mon, I know everybody wants a piece of Tony Stark”, Tony wiggles his eyebrows.

“Thankfully, I’m not everybody”, he says as they get into the elevator, “please Tony, don’t embarrass me in front of him”, Bucky begs.

“Oh no, I’m pretty sure you do that already”, Tony pats Bucky’s shoulder with a teasing smile on his face.

***

“Let me get this straight, you two are not dating but you do like him”, Darcy says to him as he’s working on a light table making some last changes for Tony’s tattoo.

“Well, yeah”, he shrugs.

_There’s no point in lying anymore, Clint and Sam know, Natasha knows too now._

_I just hope this doesn’t backtrack on me._

“And why the hell aren’t you dating? I could have sworn you were”, she crosses her arms over her chest.

_Because I’m scared, okay?_

_Why can people get that?_

_How can someone like Bucky want me?_

“Darcy, my love, I believe this is a personal manner, you should give Steve some space”, Loki says before kissing the top of Darcy’s head.

“I know but I just want them to be together and bake pies, and have like a thousand adopted cute babies, and their pretty house with a white picket fence, and a dog”, Darcy whines to her boyfriend like Steve isn’t even there.

_I’ve got the baking and the dog covered, I’m not so sure about the thousand babies though._

“Sweetie, you need to stop fantasizing about your boss’ love life”, Loki smiles shacking his head, _he actually smiled_. Steve has a lot of respect for Loki, the man’s always been really reserved and keeps a lot to himself, _even a little mysterious_ , but seeing him act like this around Darcy is like seeing a whole new Loki, _it’s weird but adorable_ , Steve is really happy for his friends.

Loki places his long arms around Darcy and gives her a gentle hug before he returns to the back of the shop to start tattooing one of his old friends, Sif. _What’s with Thor and Loki’s friends that act and talk like they’re from medieval times?_

The bell from the front door rings shortly after, letting them know that someone just walked inside the store; Steve figures it’s Tony, Darcy and him walk to the front to greet him. It is in fact Tony, and behind him, _Bucky_.

“Hi, Bucky”, Steve says first earning a smirk from Darcy. _Damn it, Rogers, try not to be so eager, you’ll scare the guy._

“Who the hell is Bucky? I’m here, hello!” Tony says waving both of his hands in the air before Bucky can answer anything.

“Tony”, Steve nods at the man.

***

“Hi”, Bucky grins wide.

_Oh boy, he looks so handsome, he always looks handsome._

“I can’t believe this, I’m invisible!” Tony protests with a huff and Darcy chuckles.

“Shut up, Tony”, Bucky gives the man a warning look, “I hope you don’t mind me tagging along”, he says to Steve.

“No, of course not”, Steve smiles.

“So, my tattoo?” Tony wonders lifting an eyebrow in question.

“Let’s go to the back to get you ready then”, Steve says.

“Hey, before you dive into your work, I wanted to tell you we’re planning a trip to Coney Island this next Sunday, I told Tasha’ about it, she said she’ll let you know but you are here now so, yeah” Darcy shrugs.

“Who’s we?” Steve asks.

“Well, everybody, you know, us, Tasha’ & Clint, Sam and his cutie girlfriend and you guys”, she goes to sitt behind the counter.

“As much as I’d love to join you, I have a romantic dinner with Pepper that evening”, Tony informs.

“Bullshit, you’re not romantic”, Bucky shakes his head giggling.

“I’ll show you someday how romantic I can be”, Tony tells Bucky but winks at Steve before he trails off to Steve’s working station.

“So, you’re going right?” Darcy asks with a smile.

“I don’t know, I haven’t been to Coney in ages”, Steve scratches the back of his neck looking down at the floor.

_Coney Island and Steve?_

_That would be perfect, maybe I can make a move there, Clint and Sam said I should._

_But what if he’s not really interested?_

“C’mon Steve, it should be fun”, Bucky says pulling at the sleeve of Steve’s hoodie and gives him his best puppy eyes, batting his eyelashes at him.

_That never fails to work, not even with my mom._

“Fineeeeeeee”, Steve whines.

_Told you._

***

They walk to his working station to start working, he starts Tony’s back tattoo, _finally_. Bucky is wondering around his space, looking at the paintings he has hanging on the walls, he looks through his artworks, _again_ , remembering the time Bucky was here with his sister, that was 3 weeks ago and it feels like ages.

An ‘Agnostic Front’ song starts to play on the speakers they have around the shop, it’s “Gotta Go” exactly, and Bucky hums quietly along with the melody and Steve finds himself smiling, glad that Tony can’t see his face.

“You’ve never told me how you guys met”, Tony says.

Bucky looks up from the book in his hands, he’s standing facing Tony and him, “we met through Nat”, Bucky comments plainly.

“Right, and how come you became such good friends?” Tony asks and why Steve can’t tell, Bucky gives the other man a weird look.

“I guess it just kinda happened”, Steve shrugs still looking at Tony’s back while he works. This tattoo is going to take more than one session; today he’s just working on the outline if Tony can handle it.

“Yeah, it’s not like we got introduced and then ‘Hey, wanna be my friend’”, Bucky says in a mocking voice.

_Although it kinda was like that, after we cleared I’m not Brock’s friend._

“Well, you two are lame”, Tony huffs, Steve is not sure what the man expected to hear.

They go on like that for almost three hours, Tony is holding pretty well. The three of them talk about the Stark Industries and a few new projects that Bucky is working on, Howard planning to retire and a guy named Hammer that’s been trying to steal blue prints from them and so on. When Steve wraps up Tony and gives him the proper specifications, they walk back to the front door and he asks Darcy to book a new appointment to continue Tony’s tattoo once the outline is fully healed.

“I’m off losers, I need a goddamn drink after this, you beat me, old man”, Tony says to Steve.

“I already told you, no alcohol Tony, besides you’re older than I am”, Steve points a finger at him.

“Whatever, you’re no fun”, Tony picked up his jacket and turns to face Bucky, “you can stay here and fool around or whatever, have a day off like I told you”, he says.

“I- I don’t…” Bucky starts shaking his head but Darcy interrupts him.

“Oh yes, please stay, I have to rearrange the jewelry display because we got new stuff and Loki has no time, you know this stuff, you can help me!” Darcy nods happily.

“I can help you all right, but only if it’s okay with Steve”, Bucky looks at him with a small smile.

“Of course, no problem”, Steve smirks back.

 _Stay forever if you want to_.

That actually gives Steve an idea, they need a new piercer yes, and Bucky is one without a place to do it, it’s perfect, he’ll have to put some thought into it and talk to the rest of the staff about it before asking Bucky if he’s interested, just the idea of seeing Bucky frequently at the shop makes Steve feel butterflies. He remembers Natasha’s words, _you have to talk to him._

***

Steve’s in the back cleaning his area for the next and last appointment of the day, Bucky is advising Darcy the best way to put the piercings on display, by shapes, sizes, types and colors when the front door opens and a girl comes in, Darcy goes to greet her by the door and Bucky watches from afar.

“I’m looking for Steve Rogers”, she smiles.

“Oh, hi there, welcome!” Darcy says cheerfully but it sounds almost sarcastic, Bucky can swear she wanted to roll her eyes because the girl didn’t even say hello, “wait here a second, please”, Darcy adds politely but gives the girl a strange look before walking away to the back, the brunette returns with Steve by her side.

“Betsy!” Steve smiles a little, and now Bucky can see them at the front counter, staring at them from behind the glass display where he’s kneeling putting some septum rings in place.

“How are you Steve? Looking good”, she gives him a hug.

_They fucking hugged._

Bucky recognizes the girl but he doesn’t know from where, she’s petite, with wavy blonde hair, blue eyes and pretty _, I’m not going to lie_. Darcy is typing something on the computer and Bucky is trying to put his attention back to the piercings.

“Uh, thanks, you look good too”, Steve blushes looking down at the floor and now Bucky is feeling nervous.

_Maybe he’s interested in this girl, there goes my chance._

_I’m such an idiot._

Bucky remembers Clint and Sam’s words again, Steve is bisexual, it doesn’t assure him he has a chance with the blond, _he’s probably just interested in being friends_ , but that doesn’t mean he can put some work into it. He recalls their time at the cinema, he flirted with the girl, but now, he doesn’t have to pretend, he’s going for Steve.

He stands up and turns around facing the wall, he looks down to remember what he’s wearing: Doc. Martens, black skinny jeans, he still has his leather jacket on and also a dark red crewneck sweater but underneath all those layers he’s wearing a lose black V-neck, _the douchebag V-neck_ , as Natasha calls it. He takes off the top layers of clothing and leaves them on the couch of the waiting area. He remembers his hair cooperating with him this morning; he runs a hand through it and sighs to ground himself.

_You have game Bucky, you can do this._

He starts walking to them but he goes to stand by Darcy, “hey Darce, where did you put the boxes of the vegan jewelry?” He asks, feeling Steve and the girl’s eyes on him.

***

He’s currently talking to Betsy, he hasn’t seen her in a long time, she does look good but it’s not like it mattered, he has other things on his mind at the moment, nothing that happened between them long ago makes him want to go back.

_Speaking of other things._

Steve turns around to see Bucky walking towards them and he was definitely not ready for it, he’s been around Bucky all afternoon, friendly and handsome Bucky, but this? _This is outrageous!_ The guy is walking with his chin up high, dragging his feet a little, he’s wearing less clothes than before, swinging his hips obscenely as he moves slowly, his arm brace is showing a little from where it hugs his shoulder, the fabric of his shirt conveniently light and thin that Steve can see the man’s nipple piercings through it; this is the hot, steamy, sex-god that he becomes when he’s performing with the Howling Commandos.

_It’s like one of those scenes on teen movies where you see your crush walking down the high school hallway and everything stops and you see them moving in slow motion and you start to drool, except this isn’t a movie or high school, but I’m definitely drooling._

Steve’s mouth is slightly open, staring at Bucky while he talks to Darcy, he asks her something but Steve completely missed it, Betsy must have noticed because she’s clearing her throat loudly.

_Right, Betsy’s here._

“Oh, hi there”, Bucky smiles at the girl.

“Bucky, this is uh-“ he tries to make his brain function but it isn’t cooperating, and Bucky, now standing a few inches next to him isn’t helping either.

“I’m Betsy Ross, I’m Steve’s ex-girlfriend”, she informs.

_Ummm, okay? TMI!_

_That wasn’t necessary, was it?_

“I’m Bucky, and I’m not Steve’s ex-girlfriend”, he teases giving Steve a cheeky smile.

_What is he doing?_

“Well, aren’t you funny?” she says sarcastically, Steve is just staring between the two of them feeling completely lost.

“So they say”, Bucky shrugs casually.

“Shall we begin then?” Steve asks the girl.

_This is just getting awkward._

“Oh, you’re getting tattooed?” Bucky wonders.

“We’re doing some flowers on her lower back”, Steve explains plainly.

“Lower back, huh? Do you have any other tattoos?” he asks raising his eyebrows a little.

_Is he teasing her?_

“No, not yet anyway”, she says.

Steve starts to walk to the back, hoping she’ll follow, he sees as the girl passes Bucky staring at him from head to toe, Bucky just smiles charmingly, “I hope you can take it, because I definitely can”, Bucky winks before turning back to Darcy and Steve is glad he’s moving away because he’s blushing a dark shade of red.

_Help!_

***

“Burrrrrrrrrn”, Darcy whispers as soon as Steve and the girl leave, Bucky chuckles, “that was some cat fight, I was about to throw you some water, you were on fire!” Darcy exclaims giggling.

“A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do”, he shrugs casually. _Damn right._

“Anyway, I wouldn’t worry if I was you”, Darcy says.

“How come?” the man wonders.

“She is Steve’s ex”, she comments, “but he’s not interested in going back with her, that’s for sure”, Darcy nods.

“How can you know that?” Bucky asks looking down at his hands, his swagger slowly fading away.

“Okay, do you know the story about how Steve hasn’t always been chiseled Greek-god like Steve?” Darcy asks.

“Yes, he was this cute, adorable, tiny thing”, Bucky sighs heavily, old memories on the back of his mind.

“Well, not everybody saw him like that unfortunately”, Darcy says sadly, “they dated a while back and then she got a job at a local news channel and she needed a boyfriend that fitted her television persona, whatever the hell that means”, the girl huffs, “she practically dumped Steve for some steroid freak”, she explains.

_That’s why she seems familiar._

“What a bitch”, Bucky hisses.

“I know!” She shakes her head, “that’s not all, a few months ago she found out Steve didn’t look like the old him and that he’s a successful talented man, and she obviously wanted to get him back”, she adds, “I honestly would’ve given myself a shot in the face if I was in her place”, Darcy jokes.

“I’ll give her the shot myself”, Bucky offers and she laughs warmly.

“Don’t worry though, Steve’s not stupid and he know her well”, she pats his shoulder gently, “besides, by the look of the fight, the odds are in your favor”, Darcy winks. _I hope so._

“Thanks”, he smiles at her.

“I like you, can you be my sassy gay friend?” Darcy jokes giggling.

“Well, I’m definitely gay, we could be friends for sure but I warn you, I’m not that type of sassy”, Bucky chuckles.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that”, she points a finger at him.

***

The situation is that Steve was lost in there, he didn’t know what was going on, but he’s sure of two things: first, Bucky doesn’t like Betsy, _I still don’t know why though,_ and second, Bucky is the hottest person he has ever laid eyes on, _and he was wearing clothes for fuck sake!_

He’s trying to keep his relationship with Betsy strictly professional, she asks questions and he tries to answer, Steve knows it’s rude but he’s not paying attention to a thing she is saying, he drowns on his works to do it neatly as the girl requested and in the back of his mind is the gray-blue eyed guy who’s standing on the waiting area along with Darcy. He sighs loudly and finishes as quick as he can. It’s 6 o’ clock when he’s finally done, leaving an extra hour for him to relax, _maybe I can take Bucky out._

Steve walks Betsy out, glad that Bucky is in the restroom because he doesn’t need to feel flustered all over again. He hugs the girl politely even though it felt a bit awkward for him, Betsy says he should call her sometime and he just offers a small smile.

“Hey, this looks amazing”, Steve points at the piercings display freshly updated when the guy come backs to the lobby.

“I know, right? I said he’d help me but he practically did everything”, Darcy comments.

“Thanks, Bucky”, Steve smiles.

_This is really great; I’m not saying it just because Bucky did it._

“No problem, I just like these things neatly done”, Bucky shrugs.

Darcy talks to him a little about the new-booked appointments, what the upcoming costumers want and reminds him the work for the next few days. After a while, she stands up and goes to the restroom, Steve is looking for a way to ask if Bucky wants to go and grab something to eat, but then the bell rings interrupting Steve’s thoughts.

“Hi guys”, Peter comes in taking off his helmet.

“Hey there”, Bucky waves at him.

“Bucky, I’m glad you’re here, now both of you can see the finished campaign, if you have the time of course”, Peter says shyly.

“Yeah, actually I have, you?” Steve nods at Bucky.

“Sure”, the guy smiles.

“I want to see!” Darcy demands as she comes trotting towards them. The three of them sit down on the larger couch, Darcy in the middle with Peter’s tablet on her hands, Steve and Bucky on each side, Peter standing in front of them.

“You can sweep through the first album, those are the proposals for Natasha, the second album is yours, they’re mostly the tattoo close ups and there’s a third album with random shots from that day if you want to see them too”, Peter explains.

“Who else has seen this?” Steve points at the tablet.

“Just Natasha, I was with her all afternoon selecting the final pictures”, the kid says.

“Do you have those here too?” Steve wonders, _because I want to see how ridiculous I look._

“Yes, but she knew you’ll ask so she told me to tell you that you will have to wait”, Peter nods.

“Sounds like Nat”, Bucky giggles.

“I’m still going through the footage Wade recorded for the commercial, as soon as it’s done I’ll let you know”, Peter comments.

“Let’s get this over with then”, Steve says impatiently.

***

Darcy begins to sweep at the screen and Bucky is astonished, he was there when all of this happened and seeing it live is a way better, _obviously_ , but Peter’s work is amazing, _like shit, that is crazy, amazing._

The photos are exquisite, they show the emotion that Steve puts into his work, the dedication he has for his routines; the compositions are dynamical, tasteful, elegant and attractive, _the campaign is going to be a success, no doubt._

“Holy shit, these are amazing Peter, and you Steve, this is surreal, you’re not even human, dude!” Darcy says, Steve’s cheeks are turning a shade of pink and Bucky wants to kiss him badly, Peter offers a little reverence.

“You weren’t there Darcy, it’s unbelievable, I swear, I need to start working out”, Bucky laughs.

They continue through the folder, Bucky remembering the day along with the pictures; the working stations, Steve at the bars, the punching bags, the jumps on the mat and the weights routine. Bucky finds himself breading a little faster just by looking at the pictures, _if I made it through that day I can see the pictures without a boner._

“These pictures are so hot, not even going to lie”, Darcy bumps her shoulder with Steve’s.

_Preach, sister!_

***

The pictures for the campaign are amazing, he’s surprised by the results, not because he’s the one in the pictures, Peter really has a good eye to catch things that probably most people would miss.

_You can even see my sweat._

For a moment he thought he was going to cry or have an asthma attack, he feels astonished by the look of the pictures. He doesn’t look weak, feeble, sick _or lame_ and it feels pretty good, _I actually look badass_. All of his friends are always telling him about this person that is handsome, charming, attractive inside and out, a man who he doesn’t see sometimes, but now he’s starting to believe it and he feels so emotional about it he could’ve passed out right then and there, but he just swallows loudly and blinks a few times.

“Steve, are you all right?” it’s Bucky who asked, reaching for his shoulder from behind Darcy who’s between them.

“Yes, I just- ” he starts, his voice almost like a whisper. _I just, can’t believe this._

“It’s okay”, Bucky squeezes his shoulder and gives him a little smile, like he understands what’s happening.

_I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad._

_If I haven’t thanked Natasha for introducing us, I will have to do it next time I see her._

“We can stop if you want to”, Bucky nods.

“We’ll continue some other time”, Darcy offers.

“No, I’m fine”, he smiles. _I’m actually pretty damn great._

Darcy starts with the next folder, the one with the close-ups of his tattoos, the shots are also amazing, you can appreciate the detailing, the bright colors, the clean outlines, the shading contrasting with his pale skin and blond hairs.

There are a few shots of Bucky too, his tattoo sleeve looking shiny and clean, if you haven’t seen it in person you’ll think it’s actually made of metal, and some other full body shots, he’s leaning against the backrest of the couch, his hand resting on his left knee, _it’s such a good picture_.

“I took the liberty of including you on this album, the artwork on you arm is amazing, I hope you don’t mind”, Peter says to Bucky.

“It’s fine”, the brunet nods, “ that one’s fucking awesome, you need to send it to me”, Bucky points at the screen.

_Yes, send it to me too._

“Yeah, it’s so profile picture material”, Darcy winks.

They move through more photos of their tattoos, close-up and full body shots, some of them where he’s sitting with Bucky, others doing his routine or resting, drinking water and so on.

“The other album are just some random shots I selected just for recreational purposes”, Peter smiles.

Pictures of the equipment and set, the working stations, the Red Room; Natasha in her office, Wade with the camcorder making faces at Peter, Darcy laughs at those.

Peter also includes a few where he’s talking to Bucky on the couch, on the punching bags and others on the weights area. Then they come across with one, one specific picture that Steve can’t stop staring at: they were at the weights, right after he finished on the bench press, he was still sitting down and Bucky was resting both hands on the barbell with a small and soft smile on his face. Steve was smiling back at him, his mouth slightly open, a true heart warming, big, bright smile.

In that moment, Steve realizes he is madly, hopelessly, crazy and stupidly in love with Bucky.

***

After the first album ended, he knew Steve was having a little trouble digesting the photos, like he just had some sort of revelation. It’s easy for Bucky to notice when Steve has this type of reactions, _I don’t know how or why but I always can tell_. The blond always does the same thing: he parts his lips, his head slightly tilt to the right and his eyebrows frowned almost touching, making these cute little wrinkles on Steve’s forehead and Bucky found himself wanting to kiss those wrinkles away every single time.

He asked if Steve was all right, he said yes and Bucky believed him, he really did, Steve can’t lie even if he wanted to anyway. They see the rest of the pictures in silence, their tattoos, the interview, and Steve’s sweaty, _gorgeous, meaty, muscular and delicious_ body.

Then they move into the random shots that Peter took, Natasha and Wade are in a few of them, some others of the place and the equipment, Steve and him talking and laughing, then he can see it clearer than water.

A photograph taken right before when Steve was beating the shit out of a punching bag, he remembers well because he could still feel the ghost of Steve’s hands on his. In the picture, Steve is smiling kindly, looking down at his hand that Bucky was holding while he wrapped it with the bandages, the brunet wasn’t even looking at what he was doing, he was staring at Steve’s face like there wasn’t anything in this world more beautiful than the man in front of him.

 _And there really isn’t, if only I could make him see what I see._  

He looks over to Steve who is smiling a little as he sees the picture, “aww, this is too cute”, Darcy says and Bucky nods slowly.

They finish with the pictures and he stands to stretched his back, “your work is amazing, Peter”, he adds.

“Thanks Bucky, that means a lot”, Peter smiles wide, “Oh, by the way, I have all the pictures on this flash drive, you can use them for your webpage if you want”, he offers.

“Oh yes! I’ll upload them to the computer right now”, she cheers, “Do you have a business card to give you the proper credit for them?” the girl asks, “I’m thinking we could make some prints to hang in the walls and stuff”, Darcy says taking the flash drive from Peter’s hands and drags him by the arm to the front counter, leaving Bucky and Steve behind.

“The pictures are really amazing, you know? But it’s not just Peter’s work”, Bucky grabs Steve by the wrist gently.

“Yeah, I- I…” Steve looks down at their hands and Bucky sees as Steve swallows a big lump of saliva, and Bucky lets go of his hand quickly, “thank you”, the blond says before he stretches his arms and wraps them around Bucky’s neck, the brunet jumps in surprise.

He returns the hug quickly, hooking his hands under Steve’s armpits and locating them on the back of the blond’s shoulders, he tucks his head under Steve’s chin resting the side of his face on Steve’s chest, Steve’s heart beating calmly against his ear.

Bucky remembers the first time they hugged, it was back at the Red Room when Steve looked unsettled about the fact that his body was being exposed on film, but for some reason this hug felt deeper, tighter and warmer, it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Steve is wearing more clothes this time, it’s more intimate than the two of them have ever been.

Their insecurities and problems, the girl from the cinema, Betsy, Brock and every single person around them didn’t exist in that moment.

_I’m so in love with this man, I’m so in love with Steve Rogers that it makes me feel like my heart is going to instantly combust._

_I need to run or I’ll do something stupid._

Steve slowly loosens his grip around Bucky’s neck and the brunet lowers his arms leaving his hands on Steve’s hips, they stare at each other for a moment, Steve is smiling with his cheeks blushing a little, Bucky is looking between the blonde’s eyes and lips.

“It’s getting kinda late, I think I better head home”, he says taking a step back, “it’s been a long day, I bet you’re tired”, Bucky sighs.

_I don’t want to leave._

***

_I don’t want you to go._

“A little bit, yes”, Steve scratches the back of his neck.

“Um, but I’ll see you soon, okay?” Bucky asks smiling.

“Absolutely, text me when you get home, alright?” Steve says.

Bucky grabs his sweater and jacket and puts them on, he didn’t ride his bike there today and Steve remembers he arrived with Tony, he’s thinking about offering Bucky a ride but he’s afraid he might say no.

_You ride a motorcycle, don’t you think it’ll be a little awkward?_

Darcy and Peter said goodbye to them a while ago and Bucky is waiting for him to close the shop, he walks the brunet to the front door holding it open for him, they walk outside and stand there facing each other for a few seconds before saying goodnight, they share another quick hug before Bucky turns and waves goodbye.

Steve sighs deeply and walks away to head home as soon as Bucky turns around the corner. Moments later, he’s outside playing with Captain when he receives Bucky’s message.

 **Bucky:** Got home a few minutes ago :)

 **Steve:** Okay, I’m playing with Captain right now

 **Bucky:** Aaawww, I really had a good time today by the way :D

 **Steve:** Me too, you should come by the store more often c:

 **Bucky:** I would like that

 **Bucky:** Imma go to sleep now

 **Steve:** Nites Buck (:

 **Bucky:** Goodnight Stevie ;)


	30. Chapter 30

Steve is off from work at 6, a bit early for a change, he remembers he didn’t text Natasha to say he’s not going to the Red Room tonight, he might as well do it now.

 **Steve:** Nat, I’m skipping today.

 **Nat:** Why?

 **Steve:** There’s a neighbor get-together today, Bucky’s coming with me :D

 **Nat:** You talked to him yet?

 **Steve:** Not yet

 **Nat** : Ok, you tell him this week, I’ll let this one slide

 **Steve** : OK! Thanks :C wish me luck

 **Nat:** *thumps up emoji*

He then proceeds to text Bucky so he won’t forget about today.

 **Steve:** You still in for today?

 **Bucky:** Free food! :D

 **Steve:** Ok, I’ll see you at home then?

 **Bucky:** Yeah, see you there.

Steve smiles down at his cellphone before putting it away while he walks over to his motorcycle to ride back to his house.

***

Bucky knows that when Steve said home he meant his house, but for a second he fantasized about Steve referring to it as their house. _Their home._ Bucky sighs loudly and begins wrapping up at Stark’s.

“You’re leaving already?” Tony asks him when he passes the conference room where Bruce and him are working on something.

“Yeah, I promised Steve I’d go with him to a barbecue”, Bucky informs.

“On Thursday?” Tony questions.

“It’s like a neighbor’s gathering”, he shrugs.

“Oh, okay”, the guy says, “have fun with our boyfriend”, Tony smirks teasingly.

“He’s not your boyfriend”, he adds immediately.

“Or yours”, Tony lifts an eyebrow at him.

_Tell me about it…_

***

Steve arrives home minutes after and sees Bucky’s bike outside his house but no signs of him, he walks up the porch and Steve’s about to open the door when Bucky does it for him from inside.

“Hey, welcome home!” Bucky smiles leaning against the doorframe, Steve stares at him for a second.

 _I could really get used to this._

Bucky is wearing a black V-neck sweater and a pair of dark wash jeans that look like new, without holes or rips on them, a pair of high top Converse tennis shoes. His hair is not greased but it’s pulled back a bit, the usual strand falling over his forehead, he fights the urge to run his hands through it.

“How did you get in?” Steve wonders clearing his throat.

“There was a key under the rock next to that plant”, he points, “it wasn’t hard to find”, the brunet shrugs.

“Oh, right”, Steve frowns.

“I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have…” Bucky sighs deeply.

“No, it’s not that, I don’t mind”, he shakes his head, “it’s just I didn’t remember it was there in the first place, that’s all”, Steve smiles.

“So you’re not mad?” Bucky questions fiddling with the piercing on his lip.

“Of course not”, he says.

“Leave your stuff then, I’ll put the leash on Captain”, Bucky comments lifting Captain’s leash on his hand.

Bucky takes a step to the side and the blond walks inside, they stay there by the doorframe for a bit and Bucky seems to want to say something, Bucky leans into Steve’s personal space for a second and he swallows slowly.

“Uumm…” Bucky looks away and passes him, “you smell nice”, he says finally looking back at Steve.

Steve can’t help but blush, “thanks, it’s just… soap, I guess”, he shrugs, “I’ll be right out”, he nods and walks to the kitchen.

***

Bucky really thought he was going to do it, make his move, but seeing Steve so close right there in that moment. _I can’t ruin it_. Besides, what was going to happen after? They had to go to this neighbor thing.

He had to say something else, so he commented the next best thing on his mind, _and Steve does smell nice._ Captain seems happier than usual in Bucky’s eyes, he pats his head and rubs his chin, Bucky kneels down to play with him while he waits for Steve to come back.

Steve is wearing a pair of tight jeans, black Vans tennis shoes and a dark green hoodie instead of his jacket. He closes the door and leans back against it with a casserole in his hands just looking down at Bucky and Captain playing.

“What?” Bucky asks between laughs.

“Nothing, is just… he really likes you”, Steve answers.

“C’mon, he likes everyone”, Bucky says standing up, “you made some food?” he adds.

“I couldn’t go empty handed”, Steve informs with a shrug.

“Did you have to make something like…?” Bucky is saying before Steve starts walking.

“Let’s get out of here, I’m hungry”, Steve insists.

“Ok, let’s go”, Bucky chuckles.

***

They walk up to the house next door and Rio, Miles’ mom, opens the door with a huge smile on her face, an apron around her body and a spatula on her hand “Steve, welcome!” she cheers, “Jeff is minding the barbeque, I see you brought someone, that’s wonderful, mijo!” Rio says happily.

“Hi Rio, how are you?” he says politely, “this is Bucky, Bucky this is Rio, she’s Miles’ mom”, Steve introduces them and Bucky nods at her smiling.

“C’mon in, Captain already knows his way around the house, don’t worry about him, you can take his leash off”, she comments looking down at the dog.

“Ok, great”, he nods and hands Bucky the casserole he was holding and leans down to set Captain free.

“You brought a casserole, Steve?” She asks surprised.

“Yeah, it’s the least I could do”, he shrugs.

“The least you could do was jus stop by”, she smiles warmly.

“Thanks, Rio”, he nods.

“Bucky, do you work with Steve? How did you guys meet?” Rio asks Bucky as they walk towards the kitchen.

“No, we met through a friend actually, at a concert”, he answers smiling at Steve.

“Oh, that’s nice, so you have similar interests?” The older lady wonders.

“Yes, we’re into much of the same things”, Steve comments way too fast, he feels the blood rushing to his head and ears. Bucky looks back at him again and then he looks away quickly.

_Is he blushing?_

Rio walks them to the backyard after Captain to meet Miles and his friends. Steve leaves the casserole on a table outside and proceeds to introduce all of his neighbors to Bucky. Jefferson, Mile’s dad, is with other men minding the grill and chatting enthusiastically.

***

After Steve introduces him to everyone, Bucky walks to where the cold drinks are located and serves some juice for Steve and grabs a beer out of the cooler for himself.

He hands the cup to Steve, their finger slightly brushing, “thanks”, the blond says.

“Cheers”, Bucky offers bumping his bottle to Steve’s cup gently and the man chuckles before taking a sip of his drink.

The whole yard is lit with white Christmas lights and some hanging lanterns. There’s quite the amount of people in the yard, Bucky doesn’t mind being around them since nobody seems to pay much attention to them, they did stare when they walked into the yard, a few shushing and low noises but then everything calmed down, to be honest, as long as Bucky is with Steve, he doesn’t care about anyone else.

“Steve, come over!” someone yells, “we want to ask you a couple of things”, an older lady demands, “I’m sorry my dear, we’re going to steal Steve for a sec”, she says.

“Don’t worry about it”, Bucky waves his hand.

“I’ll be right back”, Steve assures with a nod.

“Hey, it’ll be only for a while, you’ll be back with him in no time”, the woman pats Steve’s shoulder and the blond blushes, Bucky starts chuckling softly.

“Go get some food”, the blond offers.

“I don’t need your permission!” Bucky answers him smirking.

He walks to grab potato chips, munching while he serves himself a plate filled with some food from all the casseroles. Bucky is moving towards the grill when a dozen of kids running after some teenagers intercept him.

“Are you Steve’s boyfriend?” a kid says.

_Oh man, I wish._

The boy, _more like teenager_ , who’s maybe around thirteen or fourteen years old, is wearing a red t-shirt with a black spider on the center of it, an open black zip-up hoodie over it, jeans and black tennis shoes, the boy has dark skin and black hair in a buzz cut, a strong jawline for a kid so young and a smirk on his face.

“Are you Miles?” He asks back remembering Steve’s words when the blond had mentioned the kid that takes care of Captain.

“Yeah, you’re Bucky right?” the kid asks.

“Umm… yes”, Bucky answers frowning.

_How does he know and why does he assume?_

“If you’re going to be part of this neighborhood you have to go through certain tests”, Miles informs lifting his eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah?” Bucky wonders.

“Yes”, the kid nods enthusiastically.

“Ok, hit me”, he encourages.

“First”, Miles holds his index finger in the air, “why was Frankenstein afraid of fire?” the kid asks.

“Frankenstein wasn’t afraid of fire, his monster was afraid of fire”, Bucky answers simply.

“You passed the first test!” Miles announces in excitement.

“I see what you did there”, Bucky shakes his finger at the kid.

“What are those?” interrupts a little girl standing next to Miles, she’s pointing at Bucky’s face, referring probably at the micro-dermals on his cheekbone.

“They’re like earrings but for your face”, he explains.

“But how are they on?” she wonders.

“Over my skin, they’re incrusted on my face”, he explains kneeling down in front of her, “you can touch them but carefully because it will hurt if you push too hard”, he adds.

“It’s so sparkly”, she smiles big and pokes Bucky cheek, not even getting close to the piece of jewelry, “they’re cute”, the girl says.

“Thanks”, he smirks back.

“You passed the second test”, Miles shrugs.

“What was it?” Bucky asks.

“She likes you, that is a necessity”, the kid answers plainly.

“Yes!” she jumps on her little feet up and down happily.  
  
***

The neighbor’s want to convince Steve to paint a mural in front of the park because it’s getting grafittied often, “I think we should suggest to whomever is tagging there that they can paint it”, a neighbor says.

“I do think that’s a good idea”, Steve comments.

“But do you think whoever it is will come forward?” someone else asks.

“Well, we could just put up a sign that we want to make a mural there and if an artist wants to do it”, he answers.

“And if no one comes forward, could you do it, Steve?” Another neighbor wonders.

“Yes, I’ll see what I can do”, he nods.

“Fantastic, we have that settled then”, they cheer and return to their eating.

“Steve, we’re so glad you brought someone!” One of them says.

“Your boyfriend is so handsome”, another lady comments with a hand over her chest.

“He looks like a total bad boy, I hope he takes care of you, Steve”, Rio pats his shoulder.

“Ummm, he’s not… he’s actually pretty mellow”, Steve sighs deeply.

Steve knows he should contradict them, Bucky isn’t his boyfriend, but he can’t bring himself to do it, he wants to fantasize about it, only if it is for a few seconds. The ladies let him leave after that, saying that they don’t intend to steal him from Bucky. When he returns to the little backyard, he sees Buck playing with Captain and a few of the kids around him.

“What’s going on?” He asks at the scene in front of him.

“I was going to get food but I got interrupted by these guys”, he points at the younger ones.

“We were giving him a neighborhood welcome”, the little girl informs placing her little hands on her waist.

“You were giving him your tests, weren’t you?” Steve wonders with a chuckle.

“He passed them so he’s a part of the neighborhood now”, Miles informs.

“Yeah, I can move in whenever”, Bucky chuckles.

Steve stares at him surprised, he starts to feel the heat rush to his face, “I’m going to go get a burger”, Steve announces.

_You can move in with me whenever you want._

“Go get me one, I’m going to get us a seat!” Bucky nods.

***

The nearest empty seats are next to the kids’ table but Bucky doesn’t really mind, Steve’s neighbors are kind and funny, and the kids are way too smart for their own good. Steve walks back towards him placing their food on top of the table, they talk about their day while they eat, Bucky asking things about the neighbors and the people around. They laugh and talk until their food is done and even more, the people start scattering around and saying goodbye, and that’s finally their cue to leave.

Steve stands up and takes their empty plates with him, “want to watch a movie at the house?” he offers.

“Yeah, sure”, Bucky answers nodding.

After Steve tried to insist Mrs. Morales to help cleaning the yard, she said no and physically pushed him outside the door and demanded Bucky to take him back to his house, the brunet chuckled and pulled Steve by the arm. They walk back to the house mostly in silence, Captain trotting by himself in front of them, Bucky still has his hand on Steve’s forearm, just resting there, his fingers curled around it feeling the warmness of the man’s body on his fingertips.

Bucky could do it, just lower his hand a bit and take a hold of Steve’s hand, he can but he doesn’t. He lets the man go to give him space to open the door, he stays behind and Captain walks in first and Bucky follows, the blond closes behind them.

“I’m really full, but if you want I can make some popcorn”, Steve offers.

“No, I’m good, thanks”, Bucky says, “maybe some coffee?” Bucky wonders.

“Sure”, Steve nods and starts walking to the kitchen, “go pick a movie while I make it”, the blond instructs.

Steve is quieter than usual, like he’s waiting for something. The truth is, Bucky feels like he’s waiting too, but he doesn’t know exactly what, _aside from the coffee._ Bucky stares at the wall of movies trying to choose one, having trouble concentrating when the only thing he can think about is the way that Steve’s eyes looked under the dim lights back on the Morales’ backyard.

“I put on 28 Days Later”, Bucky says walking towards the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe, his arms over his chest and his feet crossed at the ankles.

Steve looks at him all over, from head to toe, it’s a quick once over but Bucky notices it, and Steve blushes as usual. Steve is attracted to him, at least physically, Bucky’s sure of it now, but he isn’t going to make a move just by the re-assurance of him being hot. _Not again, anyway, not after Brock._ But he isn’t going to let it slide either, he wants to tease Steve a little.

“The coffee is done”, Steve says handing him a cup, and it’s already prepared how he likes it.

Bucky walks over to him and takes it from his hands, his fingers brushing against Steve’s as he did, he scoots closer to Steve who's looking down at him under his thick eyelashes. He places the cup near his face holding it with both of his hands, the steam against his nose, he sniffs the coffee and blows on it slowly.

“Still hot”, he whispers biting down his bottom lip, Steve nods staring at him with his eyes open wide.

_Crap, maybe I shouldn’t tease him._

_He’s way too cute and nice._

Steve looks away, the tip of his ears red. _He’s so adorable, I am going to burst._ Bucky takes a step back, “I’m going to go watch the movie”, he points at the living room’s direction.

“Ok, I’ll be there in a bit”, Steve says.

***

The blond had to stay behind for a bit after watching Bucky so close to him, biting his bottom lip and looking up at him with an obscene expression on his face, Steve’s sure Bucky was teasing him, there’s no other explanation for it, and he needed to take some air before he did something idiotic and shoved his tongue down the brunet’s throat. Steve washes his hands and waits for his cup of coffee to brew, when that is finally ready he goes back to the living room to join Bucky.

They watched the movie comfortably sitting next to each other, Bucky takes off his shoes and puts his feet up on the table, Steve would’ve told him to put them down but he can’t bring himself to say anything, the brunet looks really comfortable and Steve doesn’t want to disturb him. After a while, he leans down further into the couch and places his left arm over the backrest of the couch, it isn’t meant as a move, he just wants to relax a bit more and Bucky doesn’t seem to mind.

Steve really wants to run his hands through Bucky’s hair, the guy’s head is right there next to his hand and he strokes the long hairs on Bucky’s nape a few times. The brunet doesn’t react to it at first, so he continues twirling a little strand of hairs, combing it softly with his fingers, then Bucky relaxes leaning into the touch while they watch the movie in silence.

He isn’t paying much attention to what his hands are doing and the movie is almost done, but then he feels Bucky stiffen under his grasp, he had been stroking slowly at Bucky’s scalp, rubbing behinds his ears and massaging the base of his neck with his fingertips.

“That feels nice,” Bucky whispers, “but I really should get going”, he sighs deeply.

“Are you sure?” Steve asks trying not to sound so sad.

“It’s getting kinda late”, the brunet shrugs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He says standing up.

“Yes, we’re going to Coney Island”, Bucky answers walking towards the door.

“I’m excited about it”, Steve smiles when Bucky turns around to face him.

“Yeah, me too”, Bucky grins at him, “thanks for inviting me today”, he says.

“Oh no, thanks for coming”, the blond nods, “I’ll see you tomorrow then”, Steve adds.

“Yes”, Bucky answers and stares down at the floor, Steve waits patiently holding the door open just looking at him, he seems like he’s having a struggle with himself, a pensive expression on his face, “goodnight”, the brunet says not looking up before walking away to grab his bike. Steve stays there until the guy is out of sight and finally closes the door feeling clueless about what just happened

_Did he wanted to say something else or was it just me?_


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyyy!

_It’s Friday and we’re going to Coney Island._

_I have to do something about Bucky because this is eating me from the inside out._

Steve walks into the shop early as usual and immediately feels his cheeks burn when Darcy starts to whistle at him, shouting things and clapping cheerfully.

“Someone cleaned up nice”, Darcy winks.

“It’s not that much, calm down”, he says as he takes off his jacket to hang it on the coat rack in the corner.

“You combed your hair and everything”, she waves a hand at his general direction.

“Looking decent my friend, not that you do not look decent other days”, Thor grins at him when he walks through the door.

“Thanks, Thor”, Steve answers, “What do you guys want? Why are you being so nice?” he wonders.

“I’m hurt, Steve, we are always nice!” the girl adds, “but now that you mention it, if we could leave a little early would be awesome”, Darcy smirks.

“We speak nothing but the truth, Steven”, Thor says, “I think your boy will find you very handsome”, the man smiles wide locating his hands on his hips.

“I hope so, although he’s not my boy, you know”, Steve says.

“Yet”, Thor shrugs walking away to his working station.

“And to answer your question, Darcy, I took the liberty to call the guy from my last appointment and work something out to change it, we leave at five, okay?” he adds.

“Are you kidding me? It’s perfect, you’re perfect!” she beams, “I’ll text everyone to let them know!” Darcy says in excitement lifting a fist to the air in success.

His first appointment is a two-hour session and the second is a long one, a four-hour session doing a man’s back piece. His first client barely holds up during the small piece he does on her foot, considering it's a sensible area; he gives her a few tips to reduce the swelling and have a successful recovery. He just finished cleaning his working station and begins setting everything up for the next when he gets a new text.

 **Bucky:** I got Darcy’s message, at the entrance around 5, right?

 **Steve:** Yes, can’t wait :D

 **Bucky:** Yeah, me neither, is it weird that I feel excited? :)

 **Steve:** Not at all, I’m excited too!

 **Bucky:** Yay! I have to finish some things here at the office, but I’ll see you in a bit

 **Steve:** Okay, later c:

***

Bucky gets off from work at four p.m. sharp and heads to the subway station to go down to Coney Island, giving him a little time to walk at the docks as soon as he arrives. The weather is cold but suiting, he sees people come and go, families, couples holding hands and giving hugs, groups of friends laughing and having a good time, and the brunet feels a smile spreading on his lips.

_I’m so fucking glad I’m here._

He’s leaning into a fence looking at the ocean while sun settles on the background, then somebody clears their throat close to him, he turns around to see Steve standing there. 

“Hey”, Steve smiles big, brighter than the sunset on his back, bigger than the moon and warmer than a summer’s day and Bucky releases a long sigh.

_Ignore me, I’m a sap._

Steve looks more handsome than most days, _like that is even possible_ , he has his hair parted to the side, slightly combed back, the guy is wearing black Nike sneakers, khaki jeans, _who can even make khakis look that good_? Also sporting a black Madball hoodie and a jean jacket on top of it.

_Can he be anymore of a hardcore kid?_

_So stereotypical, I fucking love it._

“Hello”, Bucky grins and embraces Steve into a little hug, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck, the blond returns the hug tightly and Bucky finds himself sighing again.

“The rest of the group is by the entrance, shall we go meet them?” Steve asks.

_We can stay here just the two of us for all I care._

“Sure, let’s go”, he shrugs before he starts walking next to Steve.

_I want to hold his hand so badly._

_Do something Bucky, anything!_

_Today, it has to be today._

**THOR & JANE**

“Jane, my love, I just need to issue the fact that Steven is no more than a friend to Bucky at the moment”, Thor says as he wraps his large muscular arm around his wife’s small frame.

“Why is it an issue?” she frowns looking up at the mountain of a man next to her.

“Well, you see”, the man hums, “I believe that Steven is fond of Bucky, but the man won’t come clean about his feeling towards him”, Thor shakes his head in disappointment.

“Steve is a bit shy, do we know how Bucky feels about him?” she asks leaning against her husband to warm her body, “I mean, I’ve only see them interact a couple of times”, Jane comments.

“The other man sees my friend with such kindness, it’s unbelievable”, Thor nods.

“Maybe they need a little help”, she offers with a smirk.

“You are beautiful, smart and wonderful, what have I done to deserve you?” Thor picks her up wrapping his arms around her slim waist, lifting her from the floor like she weights nothing and gives her gentle kisses on the cheek.

“Quit it, saps!” Darcy yells at the couple, Thor and Jane giggle as the man starts making kissy noises exaggeratedly.

The group is already gathering around the entrance waiting for Steve that went to look for Bucky since the man was already around. Clint and Natasha are buying some popcorn and Sam and Sharon go over the small cart where they sell cotton candy. Soon enough, Steve and Bucky are finally walking to where they are standing, Bucky laughing at something that Steve is saying. 

Jane notices the way that Bucky leans against Steve, the little touches they exchange, from time to time, Bucky leaves his hand on Steve’s arm for a while and the blond’s face lightens up every time, both of their smiles are so big they reach their ears.

“I see what you were talking about”, Jane whispers to Thor pulling at his coat sleeve.

“Indeed, they are quite obvious, this two fellas”, Thor murmurs back with a nod.

“Hi, there”, Bucky waves at them when he comes closer.

“Hello my friend!” Thor greets him embracing him into a side hug, his other hand never letting go of his wife’s hand.

“Hi Bucky, how've you been?” Jane adds smiling.

“I’m fine, thanks”, the guy answers, “how about you guys, how are the newlyweds doing?” Bucky wonders right on time when Steve comes to stand next to him. Steve waves at them and smiles at Bucky, who grins back and returns his attention to Thor and Jane.

“All is good”, Thor smiles wide.

“Good yes, work and all”, she shrugs, “Thor here is doing some remodeling on our little backyard”, Jane adds patting her husband’s chest.

Thor and Jane have been married for six months, they had a small wedding with Thor’s family and friends and Jane’s coworkers, a few accountancies and her weird uncle Erik. Thor’s parents are wealthy but he didn’t want to take on the family business, so he started working on his own and then Loki joined him. Soon enough, he met Jane and their connection was almost instant and strong even though they come from such different backgrounds, their interests are all over the place but they complement each other in a way that most people don’t seem to understand.

“That’s nice, anything specific?” Steve asks.

“I just want a little garden but I haven’t decided which flowers to plant, any suggestions?” Jane shrugs.

“Lilacs”, Steve and Bucky say at the same time, they look at each other for a moment and start giggling like little children, Bucky places a hand over Steve’s shoulder for support while they continue laughing.

“Aren’t they cute?” Jane asks Thor as Bucky is embraced in conversation with Darcy and Loki. Seconds after, Steve goes over to where Sam and Sharon are calling for him.

**LOKI & DARCY**

“Dude, you need to come around to the store again, I had so much fun!” Darcy tells Bucky who’s walking next to her, Loki on the other side.

Everybody is moving to the first attraction, Spook-a-Rama, one of Steve’s favorites. All their friends are there in couples, and then there’s Steve and Bucky, _Bucky and Steve._

“Yeah, I had fun too”, Bucky nods.

Darcy is walking on the back of the group along with her boyfriend, Thor, Jane, and of course, Bucky. Steve is in the front group on the middle of Natasha and Clint, Sam and Sharon. Darcy just wants to push him forward and see them holding hands.

“I’m afraid this lady won’t let you go now”, Loki informs before he kisses Darcy’s hand, she sticks her tongue out at him and Bucky laughs at them.

Steve turns and looks around, smiling when he spots Bucky, it seems like they’re having a silent conversation and Darcy stares between them in excitement, neither of them noticing her at all. For a moment, it appears like Steve is about to stop on his tracks to tag along with the group in the back but Bucky shakes his head.

“I’ll be right back”, Bucky announces and starts walking faster to go next to Steve.

“I want them to be together so bad it hurts”, Darcy whines hooking her arm around Loki’s.

“It is not for you to decide that, I’m afraid”, her boyfriend says.

“When it happens I’m going to throw a party, I swear!” she declares and Loki rolls his eyes in defeat.

“I’ll help you”, Jane offers with a giggle.

Luckily, the line for the ride isn’t too long and they go inside by couples, nobody even asking who’s going with who. It isn’t too long and when Steve and Bucky come out, Bucky looks a little unsettled but Steve is laughing out loud.

“I can’t believe you got scared with the guy hanging from the ceiling at that last part!” Steve chuckles some more.

“Hey, I didn’t see it coming, okay?” Bucky wraps his arms around his chest.

“That’s what he said!” Darcy yells and Jane giggles next to her.

“Yeah, let’s call it that”, Steve ruffles Bucky’s hair ignoring what Darcy just said.

“Mom, look at him”, Bucky pulls Natasha’s arm and pretends to cry.

“I need to write fan-fiction about them”, Darcy whispers into her boyfriend’s ear, Loki shakes his head but a wide smile spreads across his face.

**SAM & SHARON**

“So, you’re telling me Bucky thought this whole time that Steve was straight, but now that he knows he’s bi he hasn’t made a move?” Sharon asks Sam, “is he blind or something?” she adds looking up at him and her boyfriend chuckles.

“I think they can be really good for each other, but I don’t know what goes on inside those thick skulls”, Sam shakes his head wrapping his arms around her while they wait for their turn into the bumper cars.

“Just look at them, they’re adorable”, she sighs.

Steve and Bucky are standing on the back of the line, chatting and eating popcorn out of a bag that Steve is holding, they both look really content, Sam hasn’t seen his friend this happy in a long time, he doesn’t know if it’s because Steve doesn’t lets himself be or what, it probably has more to do with Bucky and how he makes Steve feel. The blond hasn’t said much about it but Sam doesn’t need to ask him to know he’s far gone for the man.

“Yes they are, but you’re more adorable”, Sam kisses Sharon’s forehead.

“Sam Wilson, I believe you’re such a sweet talker”, Sharon says giggling and wiggling her head.

“And I believe that’s the main reason you go out with me, besides my charming looks, my sweet smile and some other things”, Sam smirks wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Uuuuuhhhhh”, Bucky start to singsong as Steve is making kissy noises from the back of the line, “Sam and Sharon, sitting in a tree…” the brunet sings.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Steve spells shouting each letter.

“You guys are so immature!” Sam yells at them as Sharon’s cheeks turn a shade of pink.

“I believe that’s Clint’s job”, Steve says back and Bucky giggles.

“Hey!” Clint exclaims lifting his head from where it was resting on Natasha’s shoulder.

The couples get into one car together and Steve and Bucky get in one separately, trying to bump into each other all the time, going back and forth, both of them laughing loudly while the others just wonder around, Sam driving after Steve and Natasha following Bucky trying to escape. As their turn comes to an end, everybody gets out and gather around near the exit of the ride.

“My back is in pain, you guys killed me”, Steve whines to no one in particular rubbing his lower back with one hand.

“Quit it, old man!” Sam exclaims.

“What does everybody insist I’m old?” Steve asks stretching his back.

“Because you’re such a party pooper”, Bucky frowns his nose at Steve, “besides, we haven’t even ridden the Cyclone yet”, the guy wiggles his eyebrows.

“No, no, no”, the blond mumbles, “no Cyclone for me, last time I rode that thing I threw up my intestines”, Steve shakes his head with exaggerated movements.

“Oh c’mon, it wasn’t that bad”, Sam says and Clint starts to laugh out loud.

“Bucky, I’ll help you drag him inside if he resists”, Sharon offers with a wink.

“That’s what I’m talking about, team work”, Bucky high-fives Sharon.

“I hate you”, Steve sounds defeated.

“No, you don’t”, Bucky bumps his shoulder with Steve’s, the blond rolls his eyes in return.

**CLINT & NATASHA**

“Where to now?” Clint asks to no one in particular,

“I wanna go to the Carrousel”, Darcy yells.

“Yeah, me too”, Natasha nods.

“What happened to my Russian assassin best friend?” Bucky asks her.

“Clint happened”, Steve answers immediately leaning into Bucky and the guy nods.

“I see”, the brunet mouths, but of course that Natasha notices and gives each of them a slap on the back of the head, both of them just giggle in return.

“Don’t you think the Carrousel is a kinda childish, Tasha?” Clint asks.

“No more than you”, she gives him a small peck on his cheek.

The group start walking towards the Carrousel, Steve and Bucky are walking a little distant on the front of everybody, they’re now eating from the same bag of cotton candy, _the pink one_ , because Bucky had demanded when Steve asked which one he wanted. Bucky is trying to feed Steve a big piece of the sugary treat and the blond keeps leaning back shaking his head, pretending to be disgusted, but everybody knows he’s just playing with Bucky which makes the situation more frustrating.

“You talked to Bucky?” Natasha asks Clint and Sam.

“Yes, we did”, Sam nods.

“And you talked to Steve, right?” Clint questions and Natasha answers with a nod, “this is fucking ridiculous!” the blond exclaims pointing at Bucky and Steve in front of them.

“I know it is, but I don’t want to force anything, you know how Steve is, he’s not going to make a move unless he’s sure Bucky’s into him, he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable”, Natasha explains.

“Sounds like Steve”, Sam shrugs.

“Besides, he’s scared and I don’t blame him, Bucky tends to shut down when things get too emotional, he has problems trusting people”, Natasha says plainly as they form in the line for the Carrousel.

“They just need to stop being such chicken-shits”, Clint whispers as they get near where Bucky and Steve are standing, and Sam begins to laugh loudly.

“What’s so funny?” Steve wonders.

“Your face is”, Clint answers earning a loud chuckle from Bucky.

“Oh shut up, you should look at yourself in the morning”, Natasha punches Bucky on his right shoulder, the guy frowns rubbing his arm and now Steve is the one giggling.

As soon as their turn is up, each one of them get into a colorful horse: Darcy petting her horse like it’s real and Loki explaining how impossible it’s for a horse to be that shade of yellow; Thor riding his horse with his chin up high like he’s at the front of a cavalry stretching his wide arm to hold Jane’s tiny hand who’s giggling softly by his side; Sam and Sharon going up and down on their horses waving at people as the Carrousel spins around; Natasha and Clint kicking and jumping on their horses as if that will make them go faster; last and not least, Bucky and Steve, who were smiling stupidly at each other.

Natasha is happy, really happy, perhaps her face doesn’t show it that often, since her poker face is on most of the time, but she has found someone who understands her, and also because she sees that Bucky is happier than ever which makes everything even better. She smiles to herself looking around at the group of people in front of her, paying close attention to what Steve and Bucky are saying, not that she’s prying but the men aren’t subtle at all with their flirting.

“Did you know that this was the largest amusement park between 1880 and World War II?” Bucky says as a matter of fact.

“Really? That’s crazy”, Steve sighs, “How do you know all this stuff?” he wonders.

“My dad is obsessed with everything that has to do with World War II and he has a poster of Coney Island from those years”, Bucky explains.

“Oh, I see”, the blond nods, “imagine how it must have been to live around in that time”, Steve says.

Bucky hums a little like he’s thinking about something, “it probably would’ve been hell for me, being gay and all that, you know”, Bucky smiles a little shrugging.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back”, Steve offers a wide smile, the brunet shakes his head like he can’t believe the man next to him who’s ridding a tiny Carrousel horse.

They get off the ride and gather around near some benches, as soon as everyone is around they start wondering what to do next, “I say we head to the Cyclone now”, Natasha suggests and everyone but Steve cheers in excitement.

***

“I say that is one of the best ideas you’ve ever had”, Bucky nods at Natasha’s comment.

“Nooooooo!” Steve whines.

_Yesssssssss!_

Bucky can easily say so far, this has been one of the best nights ever, it still feels surreal to think about his life a couple of months ago before he met Steve, because here he is now, with a group of friends that have welcomed him as one of their own, without judgment or asking anything in return. This is Steve’s family and he feels like this is where he was supposed to be all along, _right at home_ , even though he still has his family back in D.C., the relatives he appreciates so much, but this is one of the things that had been missing all this time, the other one is Steve, _of course_.

“C’mon Steve, I promise it won’t be that bad”, he bumps Steve’s shoulder with his.

“But what if it is?” he asks in a serious tone.

“I’ll let you hold my hand, I’ll rub your back as you throw up or something”, Bucky offers laughing.

_You can grab me anywhere you want._

“Wow, really comforting, thanks”, Steve says sarcastically rolling his eyes.

They are walking on the back of the group, moving towards the big wooden structure, Steve looking at it with awe in his eyes, they can see the big bulb red lights sign on the side that read ‘CYCLONE’ and Bucky begins to jump a little as they get closer to it.

“Someone is a little excited”, Steve singsongs.

“A little is an understatement, c’mon!” Bucky grabs Steve by the hand and drags him towards the rollercoaster, they stop at the red light on the street and Bucky realizes they’re still holding hands but Steve doesn’t seem to mind.

Steve is acting a bit different tonight, leaning closer him, touching Bucky every time he can without being too much, their fingers brushing when he grabs popcorn, _and cotton candy_ , from their shared bag, sitting closer to him and he’s definitely smiling a lot more. Bucky is starting to believe what Clint and Sam told him almost a week ago, _maybe he does like me, maybe._

Bucky needs to know, he has to be sure this is okay, that Steve is aware that they’re still holding hands. Bucky rubs his thumb against Steve’s hand and squeezes it a little, Steve looks down at their hands and then back up to meet Bucky’s eyes, a small smile spreading on his lips.

_He fucking smiled._

_Okay, don’t freak out, we’re just holding hands._

_Get it together, you’re a grown ass man._

The light turns green and they start crossing the street and walking to the ride, they’re still holding hands when they get to the end of the line, if any of their friends notice, nobody says anything. He finally lets go of Steve’s hand and leans against the rail to sit on it while Steve is munching on some popcorn.

“Okay, after this we’re going to head back to the Wonder Wheel and then we’re going to the carnival games area, you okay with that?” Natasha asks.

“Sure”, Bucky shrugs and Steve nods, his mouth stuffed with popcorn and Bucky giggles.

They’re almost in the front of the line, getting closer and closer by the second and he notices that Steve is feeling a little nervous, shifting on his feet and fiddling with the bag of popcorn, “did you know this ride was opened in 1927 and it’s now considered a historic place?” Bucky informs trying to distract the blond.

“Okay, Buckypedia, really interesting”, Steve sighs deeply, “Now, if I die, would you take care of Captain for me?” he asks.

“You’re no going to die”, the brunet says immediately, “but would you really trust I’ll take care of Captain properly?” Bucky wonders frowning. _This is a huge deal. This is his best friend we’re talking about._

“Sure, I don’t see why not, besides he really likes you”, Steve shrugs casually.

“Well, I like him too”, Bucky nods.

_I like you more though._

They’re being loaded into the carts soon enough, Steve sitting close next to him, his legs wiggling pressed against Bucky’s, the lady operating the rollercoaster checks the safety bar is properly locked in place, when everybody is secure, the cart starts to move.

“Here goes nothing”, Steve says.

The ride goes on, their legs bumping a little as the cart shifts in the rails, he checks on Steve several times on the corner of his eye and the guy looks fine, he actually giggles a few times as they fall on some drops, and Bucky feels head over heals every time he hears Steve’s laughter.

_I can hear it all day._

Steve and Bucky get out of the ride when it comes to an end way sooner tan expected, Steve huffs loudly as he stretches his back, they’re waiting for everyone to get down of the ride, “it wasn’t that bad, was it?” Bucky smirks.

***

“No, it was pretty cool actually”, Steve comments with a shrug.

Today’s been a success so far, just a few minutes ago Bucky and him were holding hands and he’s so happy that he felt his big smile was going to break his face in two. _This is going well, now I have to make my move._

“That was fucking awesome”, Clint cheers holding both of his fists in the air.

“Clint, you’re hair is all over the place, come here”, Natasha says before passing her fingers through her boyfriend’s mess of hair.

“Okay, everybody here, ready to go?” Steve asks, he’s answer by a few ‘yes’, ‘yeah’ and ‘let’s go’.

All of them walk to the Wonder Wheel, this time they aren’t holding hands but he can feel the heat from Bucky’s body from where he’s standing really close next to him, they see the ‘Wonder Wheel’ sign becoming bigger as they shift through the crowded park.

“Okay, the dilemma, fixed or not fixed?” Bucky asks when they reach the entrance of the Wheel.

“Whatever you want is fine”, Steve smiles shrugging his shoulders.

“Okay”, Bucky says simply grabbing Steve’s hand and pulling him to the line on the left. _Fixed, perfect._

There are two types of passenger cars on the Wheel, those that are fixed directly to a rim and those that slide on the rails between the hub and the rim as the wheel rotates. Steve wants to ride the one that’s fixed so it can be calmer, sit there with Bucky alone and talk a little. _This has to be it._

The only other couple that wants to ride the ones fixed is Thor & Jane, the other three couples go to the line on the right before they agree on meeting again at the exit of the ride.

“My friends, have you been enjoying your evening?” Thor asks as they wait their turn in line.

“Yes, it’s been great”, Bucky nods enthusiastically.

“And it isn’t over yet, we’re going to the carnival games next, right?” Jane says.

“Yes, I believe so”, Steve answers.

“I am going to earn the biggest stuffed animal they have there, just for you my love”, Thor beams at his wife.

“Aww, you’re the sweetest”, she praises wrapping her tiny arms around Thor’s waist, Steve and Bucky smile joyfully.

“You guys are up”, Bucky points as the girl comes to guide them to their car.

“See you in a bit”, Steve says.

They wait for a bit until it’s their time, _finally_ , the car is big enough for four people, but Steve is glad that they’re alone, not that he doesn’t want to share with his friends but he hasn’t had a moment alone with Bucky all night, these minutes by themselves are highly appreciated. Bucky sits close on his left instead of in front of him, the brunet is looking away from him to their left when they begin to move up.

Bucky and Steve stay in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes as the car goes higher, Steve sighs deeply and Bucky is the first one in break the silence, “I haven’t thanked you, you know”, the man whispers.

“What for?” Steve wonders.

“All of this, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you, your friends are great”, Bucky says with so much honesty it makes Steve’s heart ache.

“They’re your friends too, Buck”, Steve smiles wide.

“Yeah, thanks anyway”, he comments shyly looking down at his hands resting on his lap.

“Well, thank you for being here with me then”, Steve adds and Bucky smiles, his cheeks tinting a light shade of pink that the blond finds himself wanting to kiss badly.

They’re about to stop at the top of the Wonder Wheel, the couple is silent again, Bucky looking at his left again, staring into the dark and cold ocean. Steve is fighting a fight with himself but the brunet doesn’t seem to notice, which is good because it’ll be embarrassing, the blond wants to makes his move, it feels like the right moment, Steve’s sure he has waited long enough.

_Now, you have to do it now._

He swallows the lump on his throat and sighs softly, he places his left hand on top of Bucky’s, the brunet looks down at their hands and passes his thumb through the letters ‘KLYN’ on Steve’s knuckles, then his gaze moves up to Steve’s face, he looks between Steve’s eyes and lips like he knows what’s about to happen.

_This is it._

Steve turns his body a little to face Bucky at the same time he leans forward, he stretches his right arm to cup Bucky’s face with his hand, rubbing his thumb against Bucky’s soft skin like he’s been dying to do so many times before, just below the micro-dermals on his cheekbone. Their faces are a couple of inches away, he can feel Bucky buzzing in front of him and Steve grins to himself just before he crashes their lips together.

Bucky’s lips are soft but Steve hisses a little when he meets the cold metal from the brunet’s lip piercing, he puts the thought aside and parts his lips to deepen the kiss, their mouths taste like salt from the popcorn they’d been eating but also a bit sweet from the cotton candy which makes it way more interesting.

With their eyes close, their foreheads bump a little and Steve can feel the smirk on Bucky’s face, he tilts his head to the side, their noses brushing, Bucky squeezes the blond’s left hand as a sign to continue, then Bucky opens his mouth to give Steve more space, the blond’s tongue barely peaking inside.

Their lips are wet now, Bucky’s piercing no longer cold, they turn their heads as they move their lips, Steve’s now sucking Bucky’s bottom lip and can feel him shivering and the blond’s insides feel like jelly. The kiss is eager, sloppy and messy _and perfect_. And Steve can swear he feels fireworks inside of him.

He leans back to catch some air but Steve doesn’t lower his hand from Bucky’s cheek, their faces are still close and their foreheads bumping against one another, they can feel each others warm breaths, Steve closes the distance between them one last time and places a small peck on Bucky’s lips.

When he finally lowers his hand and opens his eyes, Bucky’s are still closed, a small smile on his face and he’s humming a little, then a loud clash and a bright light spread across the sky behind them.

_Oh, so the fireworks were real._

***

Steve’s kiss, _oh man, how can I begin to describe Steve’s kiss? All I can say is that it was way better than I expected, the guy knows what he’s doing._ Bucky sighs loudly as he rests his head on Steve’s shoulder cuddling closer to him.

The Wheel starts to spin around to lower down, giving them the perfect view to the fireworks burning on the background, a variety of colors and shapes drawing their attention.

“Did you plan that?” Bucky wonders.

“What?” Steve asks back as he rests his head on top of Bucky’s.

“The kiss, for it to be at the same time as the fireworks went off”, he explains.

“I’d love to say yes, but I'd be lying”, Steve says.

Bucky hums in return and stays silent for a second before he gives a light smack to Steve’s left thigh, “hey, what was that for?” The blond whines lifting his head.

“You took too damn long, Rogers!” Bucky laughs.

“I could say the same”, Steve chuckles. 

“In my defense, I used to think you were straight, you never told me you’re bi”, Bucky shrugs.

“You never asked”, Steve retorts back.

“Touché”, Bucky points at Steve with his index finger.

“Anyway, who told you?” Steve wonders.

“Clint”, he says simply, Steve just shakes his head and chuckles warmly.

Bucky grabs Steve’s left hand with his right and interlocks their fingers together, Steve hums happily rubbing his thumb against Bucky’s hand. _This is real, this is happening._

The ride ends in no time, they stand up as soon as their car comes to a stop completely and walk out, they hold hands as they head to the exit where they are meeting their friends and apparently Steve and Bucky are the last ones that get there.

“That was the slowest yet the fastest ride of my life”, Bucky informs making Steve burst out in laughter, Natasha gives them a weird look lifting her eyebrows at Bucky.

_She totally knows._

They aren’t holding hands anymore when they start walking but it’s okay, they kissed; it was cute, and hot, and private, and theirs. They are now moving towards the carnival games, their hands brushing as they walk, Bucky doesn’t want to be all over Steve and make him feel uncomfortable by suffocating him, or even worse, give him an asthma attack, _because I don’t want to stop kissing him, like ever._

The group separates into two, Thor, Jane, Darcy and Loki go over to the arcade and the rest of them stand around close while each couple chooses a game to play. Natasha and Clint go to the basketball hoops to do some shots, Sharon and Sam are at the Skeeball, and Bucky and Steve just wonder around the place. They shift through the crowd, walking slowly in silence next to each other. _Okay Bucky, don’t make this awkward_. And it’s like Steve can read his thoughts because the next thing he knows, the blond is reaching for his hand and Bucky stretches his arm to hold him.

They walk like that for a while talking about the events earlier, their first part of the day at work, they look up as the last round of fireworks light up the sky. He stands staring as the lights fade into smoke, Steve places his arm across Bucky’s shoulders and the brunet hugs him back with his right arm, placing his hand on Steve’s hipbone. He turns his head to the right to look at Steve, the blond distracted with the fireworks, the explosions making his eyes open wide and they are an impossible shade of blue. Steve’s Adam’s apple was exposed as he looked up and Bucky was fighting the urge to kiss it.

Steve must have sense Bucky is staring because he turns his head to meet Bucky’s eyes but he doesn’t say anything, he just smiles, that big and bright smile that Bucky likes so much, the brunet grins back before Steve leans towards him and places a small kiss on Bucky’s forehead. _Fuck, he’s the cutest._ The fireworks end and the crowd starts fading away, the couple is about to start walking again when they turn to the familiar voices calling for them. 

“Bucky, you have to play against me, c’mon!” Clint demands, Natasha walking by his side, Sam and Sharon a few steps back.

“Dude, you’re so going to lose”, Sam says to Clint.

“Listen to the wise man, Clint”, Bucky giggles waving his hand at Sam, “what are we playing?” he wonders.

“That”, Clint points to the stand that has teddy bears hanging everywhere, full of bright colors, stool seats against the counter which is painted in yellow and green stripes separating them in rows, and a huge sign that reads ‘WATER RACE: A WINNER EVERY GAME’.

Everyone goes over there, there’s no one else seated there, Bucky rests both of his hands on each side of the handle of the water gun that is propped on the counter. It’s an aiming game, they have to shoot the water at a red circle surrounded by blue and yellow stars in front of you and try to fill the tube painted with bright colors, as simple as that, _piece of cake._

A guy behind the counter takes their money and steps back a little to get out of the way, “let the best shooter win”, Clint winks at Bucky, he just smirks in return.

The siren goes off as their signal to start, Bucky maintains the water gun shooting straight at the aiming dot pressing down the buttons on each side of the gun, he never turns to his right to see how Clint is doing but he can feel Clint’s eyes looking at him, their friends cheering for them on their backs, not calling for anyone in particular, just making loud noises. Bucky looks up to his tube almost full and then returns his stare back at the aiming dot and stops as soon as the siren goes off again, and the guy comes to announce the winner.

“Number 7 is the winner, you may pick your price”, the young man says smiling.

***

“That is not fair, I bet you cheated!” Clint protests.

“I didn’t, I think you’re a great shooter Clint, but you were distracted”, Bucky shrugs.

“Stop whining Clint, suck it up”, Natasha adds kissing the top of Clint’s head who remains siting on the stool.

“Whatever, I’m hungry”, Clint stands up.

“Yeah, me too, let’s go grab something to eat”, Sam comments.

“But before, we have to go find the others”, Sharon says and the rest of them nod in agreement.

Their friends start walking, Steve turns around to see Bucky is looking thoughtful with a frown on his face, “hey, what is it?” he asks.

“Here, this is for you”, Bucky says not looking up from his hands, he blushes a bit and stared at what he’s holding, _a bear?_

Yes, it’s a bear plushy. It has a black mask over its eyes and a funny looking red and blue outfit. It’s cute, weird and odd, _and adorable_ , because Bucky is the one giving it to him.

“For me?” Steve smiles wide resting his right hand over his chest.

Bucky sighs and finally looks up and Steve places what is happening; Bucky seems ashamed, but Steve is not sure why, maybe it’s for the fact that he chose a little teddy bear or for offering it to Steve.

“Just take it, would ya’?” Bucky demands before he bites his lower lip.

Steve takes the teddy bear and holds it with both hands, he passes his left hand through the soft fur, the big red buttons, the tiny ears, it’s such a sweet gesture that Steve feels his heart ache, his knees trembling and his insides warm.

“It’s so cute, but you’re cuter”, Steve informs with big smile.

“Shut up, punk”, Bucky chuckles, “I’m not cute, I’m manly and sexy”, he comments proudly.

“Yeah, that too, jerk”, Steve giggles, “come here”, he says and steps into Bucky’s personal space.

He wraps his right arm around Bucky’s waist, the teddy bear on the other, Bucky cups Steve’s face with his hands and they share another kiss, Steve is aware that public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable, but he can make an exception, this is Bucky, the kiss is quick but warm, an extension of their fist kiss, they stare at each other’s eyes for a moment before something else interrupts them.

“But mooooooooom, I want to play!” A blond, about 6 years old kid whines fiddling with the water guns behind them.

“I know Franklin but the young man said there has to be at least two players, just wait till’ your father comes back”, a blonde woman around her late thirties-early forties said.

“I’ll play with you”, Steve says sitting down and pays the guy.

“Oh, thank you, you don’t have to do that”, the woman comments with a smile.

“It’s no problem”, Steve gives back the teddy bear for Bucky to hold it while he turns his attention back, their game about to start.

***

“Don’t worry about it, he has a weak spot for doing these sorts of things”, Bucky nods to the woman.

“Sorry for the delay, honey, there was a long line”, a man says to the woman handing her a glass of lemonade, the guy is an early 40’s brunet man who’s already growing gray hairs on the sides of his head, “oh, hello there”, the man adds with a wave.

“This young man’s boyfriend is playing with Franklin over there”, she informs the man and Bucky nods, it takes him a few seconds to notice that she referred to Steve as his boyfriend but he doesn’t corrects her, _I wish._

The siren of the game goes off, the guy announces the winner and the kid jumps in excitement, Bucky obviously knows what Steve did, “Oh no! You totally beat me”, Steve announces trying to sound defeated.

Apparently the mother knows too, “what he did it’s a noble thing, it’s a good guy you have there, don’t let him go”, she comments.

Bucky looks down at the teddy bear in his hands and nods in agreement, “I’ll try”, he sighs.

The kid runs towards their parents with a monkey plushy on his hands, “look dad, I won”, he yells as his father lifts him to the air.

“Say thanks for the game, Franklin”, the man hugs the child.

“Oh, how rude of me”, the woman exclaims, “I’m Sue, this is my husband Reed and you’ve met Franklin”, she smiles.

“Well, nice to meet you, I’m Bucky, this is Steve”, he says.

“Hello”, Steve offers a little wave.

“Dad, I want to go to the bumper cars next”, the kid demands jumping on his fathers arms.

“Duty calls, it’s been lovely to meet you two, enjoy the rest of your evening”, the woman nods.

“Yeah, you too”, Steve smiles kindly. _Oh my dear Steve._

They wave goodbye and watch as the family walks away, Bucky returns the teddy bear to Steve, “you’re such a sap, you know, for what you did”, the brunet chuckles.

“Says the guy who gave me this”, Steve shakes the teddy bear out on the air, and Bucky blushes a little. Bucky had been debating on giving it to Steve or not, he knew it was a corny thing to do but he had nothing to lose, he went on and did it earning a huge smile from Steve that assured him he made the right decision.

“Hey dumbasses, are you coming?” Clint asks all the sudden.

“We found the others, they went to find some tables”, Natasha adds.

_Where did they come from? They’re like spies, I swear._

“Geez, you don’t have to be so nice Clint”, Steve says walking after Clint.

“I’m glad you got your shit together”, Natasha whispers to Bucky and he shrugs casually.

When they arrive at the dinning area, their friends are waiting for them, some of them have food already, Bucky goes to sit down next to Darcy, “dude, I heard you beat Clint on the water race, that’s so cool”, she laughs.

***

“What do you want to eat?” Steve asks Bucky.

“Anything’s good, I’ll have whatever you’re having”, Bucky answers with a nod.

“I’ll go with you”, Sam announces and Clint follows.

_Oh no, help!_

The trio goes over to the pizza stand and wait in line to order, he knows there’s an interrogation coming, he can feel it, he sighs and prepares for it.

“So?” Sam hums while they wait for their pizzas.

_There it is._

“So what?” Steve reacts like he doesn’t know what’s going on.

“Oh c’mon Steve, don’t be like that”, Sam insists.

“What did you tell him?” Clint wonders.

“I didn’t tell him anything”, he shrugs finally giving up to the conversation.

“What? Why? You said that you were gonna do something”, Clint huffs and Steve shakes his head.

“I didn’t say anything because I kissed him instead, that’s doing something, right?” Steve shrugs looking at the condiments bar in front of him avoiding his friends’ eyes.

“You what?!” Clint yells in surprise earning some strange looks from a few people around them and Sam narrows his eyes at him.

“Bravo Steve Rogers, you’re a big boy now”, Sam claps slowly.

_Damn right I am._

“I thought you were only gonna hold his hand for the rest of the night”, Clint adds as he grabs a bunch of napkins.

“Oh, fuck off!” Steve huffs but there’s no anger in his voice.

“Damn, he curses out loud now, he’s a changes man”, Sam comments with a smirk.

“Shut up”, Steve chuckles.

Walking into the dinning area and witnessing the scene in front of him feels like an illusion, something that can only occur on his sweetest dreams: he’s welcome by a huge smile on Bucky’s face, that sweet smile that makes wrinkles on the corners of his blue eyes, a grin that shows his pointy bright pearly teeth, his hair longer now since the first time they met, _or better said, second_ , the longer locks brushed back to the left and tucked behind his ears, _and oh boy_ , Steve is gone.

_This can’t be happening._

He blinks a few times and gets closer to sit down silently between Bucky on his right and Natasha on the left, he places the pizza boxes on the table along with the glass of lemonade, he bought one large glass for the both of them, he kicks himself internally, _maybe Bucky doesn’t want to share it_. Bucky answers his preoccupations by taking a sip from the straw, he doesn’t seem to mind.

_This can’t be happening._

Steve grabs a slice of the New York-style three cheeses pizza and places it on Bucky’s plate, and then he serves a slice for himself. He’s eating in silence, his gaze concentrated on the people that pass by them, the families, the couples, group of friends and all the people walking and running having a good time, and yet, here he is, sitting down eating pizza with the most gorgeous man by his side. He’s brought to reality when he hears Bucky slurping down on the empty glass of lemonade.

_This can’t be happening._

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Bucky places his left hand on top of Steve’s right where it’s resting on the table and squeezes it gently. Steve stares at their hands for a moment and swallows the bite of pizza he has on his mouth before speaking.

_This can’t be happening._

“Nothing, I just… It’s nothing”, Steve shrugs.

“Okay”, Bucky says not sounding too convinced, “I’m going for another, want something else”, the brunet asked.

Bucky is going to refill their lemonade, he remembers the stand is a little distant from the rest, “do you want me to go with you?” Steve wonders.

“It’s okay, I’ll go”, Bucky shakes his head smiling, he places a kiss on the top of Steve’s head as he stands up.

_This can’t be happening._

***

Bucky walks towards the stand humming cheerfully, even singing to himself a bit, he’s really happy, the happiest he’s been in a long time, Steve’s been so sweet all night and he feels like he’s dreaming.

He gets to the stand and there’s nobody else in line, it’s a little late and the place isn’t crowded anymore, as soon as he gets his lemonade he begins walking back towards his friends.

“Hey there, precious”, someone whistles, Bucky feels a chill go through his spine, all the happiness he felt going away, while the blood from his face runs down leaving him pale and sweaty.

_Please, let this be a nightmare._

“What do you want?” He growls turning around to face Brock.

“You know what I want”, Brock grabs Bucky’s chin with his hand squeezing his cheeks. Bucky is trying to get away by taking a few steps back but he’s stopped by a pair of hands holding him in place by his waist.

“Hey, not so fast”, Jack whispers into his ear and grabs the lemonade from Bucky’s hand and takes a long sip.

“Get away from me”, Bucky demands trying to lose Jack’s grip and fails.

_Just leave me alone, please!_

“I think we should go somewhere more private”, Brock announces dragging Bucky by the arm and pulling him to the back of the stands where it’s a bit darker, Bucky really wants to get away from him but his body isn’t cooperating, _as usual_ , besides the man is stronger than him and there’s not much Bucky can do when the man pushes him against a big dumpster.

“You tell me if someone’s coming”, Brock orders Jack, the guy nods and Bucky looks at him with wide eyes.

_I won’t break this time._

“How’s Steve doing? Is he fucking you good?” Brock asks closing the distance between them.

Bucky doesn’t answer. _No._

“Did you miss me?” Brock stares at Bucky’s distant eyes.

Bucky doesn’t answer. _No._

“What’s wrong? Did the cat got your tongue? Or was it Steve?” Brock smirks devilishly.

Bucky doesn’t answer. _No._

“When I ask you something, I want you to fucking answer, you whore”, Brock punches Bucky right in the stomach causing him to bend forward, placing a hand on his chest fighting to catch some air while he coughs.

Brock places both of his hands on Bucky’s shoulders and shoves his back against the dumpster pinning him in place roughly, Bucky’s left arm is starting to feel numb, his fingers tingling and weak.

“I want you to scream for you friends”, Brock demands squeezing at Bucky’s left shoulder, his fingers digging hard.

Bucky doesn’t scream, but he frowns, his eyebrows almost touching, he closes his eyes and tilts his head back, he’s in so much pain, he whines clashing his teeth together tightly.

He tries to push Brock away but the bigger man grabs both of Bucky’s wrists with one of his while the grip in the other hand gets tighter around his shoulder, “I said, scream for me, boy”, Brock whispers between his teeth into Bucky’s ear.

“STOP!” Bucky finally begs as a tear begins to drip down his cheek.

_Stop, stop, stop._

“Oh Bucky, this is just beginning, maybe we should take this to my place”, Brock shakes his head and licks his lips before a wicked smile spreads on his face.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, my friends will come and find me”, Bucky warns.

_Steve will come and find me._

Brock looks pissed, anger on his dark brown eyes, frowning and breathing loudly through his nose. He lets go of Bucky’s shoulder and grabs him by the neck with both hands and squeezes pressing him against the dumpster.

“That’s what you need, don’t you? Somebody to take care of you because you can’t even do that yourself”, the man grunts, “I was going to be that someone, you know”, Brock hisses against Bucky’s face.

“Fuck you”, Bucky whimpers fighting for air.

“Brock, we’ve got company, let’s get out of here!” Jack yells.

“Looks like your shining knight came to save you”, he says letting go of Bucky’s neck.

Jack comes towards them trotting, “we have to go man”, he repeats.

“I’ll see you around”, Brock winks before running away with Jack to the parking lot.

_That’s right, run, fucking coward._

***

Bucky left about 20 minutes ago and he hasn’t come back, Steve texts him to see if everything is alright but he doesn’t get an answer, _maybe there was some line, he’s fine_. Steve is starting to feel uncomfortable, he knows something isn’t right, he can feel it.

_Bucky is taking too long._

“Hey guys, I’ll be right back”, Steve says to his friends standing up from his chair.

“Use protection”, Clint winks and Sam laughs.

“Ha-ha! Very funny”, Steve says sarcastically walking away.

He goes over to the lemonade stand, there are a few people there but none of them are the person he’s looking for, he searches around but the guy is nowhere to be seen. Bucky wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye, they were having such a great time, _wasn’t he?_

Steve walks a little through the crowd and for some reason he starts to panic, _what if something happened to him?_ He begins walking faster, looking around everywhere, the cold air of the night crashing on his face, he starts to hyperventilate, _calm down Steve, you’re overreacting_ , but he feels deep inside of him something isn’t right, he stops and breathes deeply a few times as he goes to the back of the stands to take one last look.

Someone is coughing loudly, leaning on the dumpster, he walks in that direction and instantly feels something tightening inside his chest when he recognizes the person, “Bucky?” he asks walking faster.

The brunet is rubbing his neck still coughing a bit, Steve hears some loud footsteps on the distance, he turns his head around in that direction and sees two figures running away towards the parking lot, he returns his gaze to Bucky who has stopped coughing but he’s now rubbing his left shoulder, then looks back at the persons running away, _Brock._

_This can’t be happening._

He feels his insides burn, his blood boils, he closes his hands into fist, his fingertips digging into his palms as his teeth clench together making the muscles of his jaw contract violently, he’s about to start running in Brock’s direction when Bucky pulls him by the arm.

“Forget about it, it’s not worth it”, Bucky shakes his head.

“What do you mean? Of course it’s worth it!” Steve huffs and looks back to see if he can still go after Brock but the man isn’t in sight anymore.

“Steve, just stop, I’m okay”, Bucky demands.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Steve asks lifting his hand to place it on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Just let it go, alright? I said I’m fine!” Bucky shouts walking away from Steve’s grip.

“You keep saying that but I know you’re not”, the blond shakes his head, “I don’t understand why you didn’t let me go after him, I don’t like the fact that he keeps treating you like this”, Steve says looking down at his hands.

“You think I fucking want this? You think this is something I like?” Bucky yells.

“No, Buck, I didn’t mean it like that”, he sighs heavily, “listen, I was just trying to help”, Steve whispers.

“I’m sick and tired of everyone that knows the situation that happened with Brock”, the other man huffs, “the guys from the band, my sister, Natasha, they always treat me like I’m a fucking rag doll, I don’t need that from you too”, he points at Steve, his hand shaking.

“Hey, that is not what I’m trying to do, okay? I just…” Steve shakes his head trying to reach for him.

“Steve, I’m not a fucking princess that needs to be saved, alright?” Bucky sounds mad and takes a step back away from Steve.

“Bucky, c’mon, you know it’s not like that”, Steve insist.

“Whatever, Steve, I’m just gonna go, I’ll call you later”, Bucky shoves his hands on the pockets of his coat and walks away.

He doesn’t follow Bucky; he figures it’s best to give him some space. Steve wants to scream, Steve wants to cry, Steve wants to yell, Steve wants to punch something, _anything, really_.

Steve doesn’t want to feel this miserable.

All the joy and happy thoughts about their shared evening replaying on the back of his mind, he feels so useless, the last thing he wants to do is to piss Bucky off about something like this. _I just want him to be okay. I just want to help him._ He wipes away the tear that’s falling down his cheek and begins walking back to his friends.

“Where’s Bucky?” Natasha asks as soon as he gets there.

“He headed back home, he wasn’t feeling too well”, Steve answers plainly, “I should get going too, I have to wake up early tomorrow”, he adds.

“Okay”, Natasha narrows her eyes, she knows something is up but Steve’s glad she doesn’t mention anything.

“Hey guys, I’m leaving, have a great night”, he says to no one in particular, everybody waves and say goodbye to him.

Steve walks to his motorcycle feeling awful, it had been such a great night and Brock and Steve’s own eagerness ruined it. Steve sighs loudly and rubs his temples with his fingers before he fishes for his keys inside his pocket.

_Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed and made him feel uncomfortable, maybe I should have shut my fucking mouth, now he probably doesn’t want to know anything about me._

_Why do you have to screw everything up, Rogers?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo, I hope the first kiss wasn't too boring, I know it's a bit sappy but work with me, would ya'?
> 
> Also, for the people that wanted some angst involving Brock, there you have it, we are all masochists x) On another note, let me know if the different POVs on this chapter were confusing or not, I tried to show you how everyone sees them, hope it worked :B
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your nice comments and feedback, those are always welcome. I hope you have a nice week, eat lots of candy in advance and watch scary movies, get it the mood 'cause Halloween is coming!
> 
> Wooooooh! :D
> 
> <3
> 
> P.S. Don't hate me :c


	32. Chapter 32

“Steve, are you alright?” Darcy questions.

“Yeah, why?” Steve answers not looking up from the sketch he’s been doing for the past… _I don’t even know how long anymore._

“It’s eight sharp, I’m going home”, the girl informs, “you’ve been working extra hours since Monday, by the end of the week you’re gonna be dead”, she says.

“It’s eight already?” He asks surprised checking the clock on the wall. _Damn._

“Are you going to the Red Room tonight?” she asks.

“Yeah, I’ll stay here for a bit longer, you should go”, Steve says.

“Okay, Steve, take care”, she waves at him, he nods waving back.

Steve hasn’t seen, talked or heard anything from Bucky since Friday night at Coney Island, his insides have been eating him about it, he wants to call Bucky, just to ask if he’s okay but he doesn’t want to push him anymore, Steve doesn’t want to say anything about their kiss either because he’s afraid that Bucky might say he regrets it.

_I really don’t know what to do here._

His phone buzzes on the top of the table and he goes for it as fast as he can hoping it’s a certain blue eyed brunet, and of course, it’s not him, “hey Dum Dum, what’s up?” He answers trying not to sound sad.

“Everything’s good, how you doin’?” The man says over the phone.

“I’m okay, lots of work and stuff”, Steve responds.

“Oh, I hope I’m not interrupting something”, Dum Dum comments.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it”, he adds.

“Well, I’m was just calling to see if Bucky isn’t with you, or do you happen to know where he is, he hasn’t showed up for practice and he didn’t say he wasn’t going to, it’s just weird”, the man explains.

“No, I don’t know where he is, sorry, have you tried his cellphone?” Steve questions hoping he sounds casual and not worried like he truly is.

_Shit. What if something happened to him? What if he’s not feeling well? Here I am worrying about a stupid kiss and maybe he’s hurt or something._

“Steve?” Dum Dum asks. _Right, I’m on the phone._

“What was that?” Steve wonders.

“I was just saying that if I know anything about him I’ll let you know”, Dum Dum repeats.

“Yes, please”, Steve says sounding scared.

“He’s fine, he probably fell asleep or something”, Dum Dum comments probably noticing Steve’s tone.

“Yeah, maybe, just let me know, alright?” Steve pleads.

“Sure man, take care”, Dum Dum hangs up.

***

Bucky feels like shit, he really does. The last time he saw Steve was Friday night after the Brock incident, _again_. He didn’t meant to be so harsh on Steve, he knows the guy was just trying to help and Bucky was so mad at Brock that he got his anger off on the last person he wanted to hurt and now he doesn’t know how to fix it.

He’s aware that this situation is all his fault, he just wishes that Brock would leave him alone for good and he hopes he finds the courage to talk to Steve about this whole thing, but he’s afraid that the next time he sees Steve he doesn’t want anything to do with him, he knows that he’ll have to talk to him eventually but he wants to do it in person.

The brunet gets off from work and heads home, today’s band practice night but he had a headache all day so he fixes some tea and rests for a bit, Bucky finishes his drink and goes to bed, he figures he should take a nap before practice and dosses off as soon as his head touches the pillow.

_You are nothing without me. He’s too good for you. You need someone more like me. I’ll take care off you. I know you want this. I want you to scream for me._

Brock’s words feel so real that he wakes up from the nightmare he’s having drenched with sweat and shaking, he wants to cry, he knows that Brock is not right, he’s never been, he understands that now but he’s mad at himself for letting the same problems affect whatever he has going on with Steve.

He takes off the sheets from his bed and his clothes and changes them for some clean ones, he pulls his phone out of his bag and he sees he has a few missed calls and texts from his band-mates, but none of them are from Steve and tries not to feel upset about it.

 _I have to fix this_.

Bucky checks the clock and it’s past nine, he missed band practice and that’s probably why his friends were trying to reach for him.

 **Bucky:** I fell asleep, sorry I didn’t call before; I’ll make it up to you guys

 **Dum Dum:** Don’t worry about it man, talk 2 ya later, take care

***

Steve is arriving at the Red Room when he gets the well-awaited response from Dum Dum.

 **Dum Dum:** As predicted, the dumbass fell asleep, just thought I’d let you know :p

 **Steve:** Oh I see, thanks :)

_He’s okay._

_Bucky is at his house resting._

_Stop panicking_.

The blond sighs and goes inside straight to the changing room to start his workout for the night. He comes out moments later and notices Natasha is nowhere to be seen, he’s glad for it because he’s afraid that when he sees her he’ll ask a stupid amount of questions about Bucky.

Steve starts his routine; he has a lot of energy from sitting around all day so he figures he’ll put extra work on it today. The times flies away and he’s been there for more than two hours now, he’s at the last part of the routine on the weights area, today is chest day, he puts in a little more weight than usual, he knows he can lift it but he normally stays between an acceptable range for his own health, but not tonight, he just wants to get off the pain on his chest.

He’s going hard at his exercises, grunting, huffing and breathing loudly, earning a few stares from the people arounhim that are looking with wide eyes, when he finally hears from Natasha.

“Steve, may I have a word, please?” the redhead demands.

He lifts the barbell one last time before he puts it back up on its stand, “sure”, he answers breathing fast, his chest rising as he follows her.

“What are you doing?” She asks turning to face him; she has a worrying look on her face, something odd in her.

“Umm… working out?” He says, and it comes out more like a question.

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t bullshit me”, Natasha points a finger at him, she doesn’t sound mad, she’s preoccupied and Steve feels his chest warm, she reminds him so much of his mother. Steve takes a sip from his water bottle and looks down at his hands fiddling with the plastic cap.

“You came here on Saturday and stayed here almost the whole day, the guys at the office told me you were here on Sunday since they opened, on Monday you came here late and left until I closed, same thing yesterday”, she shakes her head, “today you’ve been lifting like a maniac, and I could bet everything I own that you’ve been working extra hours at the shop too”, she says, Steve just chews the inside of his cheek, he doesn’t know what to say, but she’s right.

_How does she do that?_

“What’s wrong, I know something happened at Coney, but what was it?” she asks.

“I, it’s… I think you should ask Bucky”, he shrugs, “it’s not something for me to tell, I really don’t know that well what happened anyway”, Steve answered, his voice shaking.

“It’s Brock, isn’t it?” Natasha says, Steve sniffs a little nodding his head.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him, just do me a favor, go home and don’t comeback, not until you get proper rest, you hear me?” the woman demands, he just nods again.

“It’s going to be fine, don’t worry”, she gives him a little hug.

“Thanks”, he whispers finally before walking to the changing room to grab his things and head home to his dog.

***

“What happened?” Natasha says as soon as she comes through the door.

“Hello honey, how was your day? Mine was great, I missed you”, Bucky jokes with a sarcastic tone.

Bucky is sitting on the couch with his legs spread on it, a huge ice cream bowl resting on his lap, eating with his left hand his right resting on the back of his head for support, he’s watching ‘Sharknado’, _don’t judge me_. He needed something ridiculous and funny to stop thinking about what he should tell Steve next time he sees him, _and from crying because I’m such an idiot._

“You know what I’m talking about, James, I knew something happened on Friday night by the look on Steve’s face but I didn’t want to ask”, Natasha shakes her head dumping her things on the floor and walks towards him, “I’ve been too busy lately and we haven’t talked much but you know you can count on me, right?” She comments pulling up Bucky’s legs up to sit down next to him and lets them down again over her lap.

“Yeah, I know”, he whispers, “I was such an asshole to him, Nat, he probably hates me”, he says sadly shaking his head.

“I don’t think he knows that word, besides he wouldn’t be able to hate you, even if he tried”, she informs rubbing his legs a little.

He chuckles at that, because she’s right, _Steve is such a nice person_. He places away the bowl of ice cream on the table and sits down crossing his legs over the couch turning to his left to face Natasha, he sighs loudly before he starts to explain the situation.

Bucky tells her about their kiss, _how considerate, cute and sweet it was_ ; when they hugged as they watched the last fireworks; the debate he had with himself about giving Steve the teddy bear he won; their second quick kiss before Steve let that kid win on the water guns race; what the lady, Sue, said about Steve being a good guy; Steve acting odd after he came with the pizzas; and then, Brock.

_That motherfucker._

Everything the guy said, the way he grabbed him by the arm and squeezed hard, how he made him beg to stop, when he punched him because he wouldn’t answer, his hands choking him and slamming him against the dumpster, and then Steve came to scare him away.

Then he grabbed Steve by the arm and told him not to go after Brock, it’s not that he doesn’t think he’s not worth fighting for, he just doesn’t want to see Steve getting hurt because of him. Then he took off all of his anger on Steve, he walked away from his gentle touch, the sad look on Steve’s face when he told him he wasn’t someone that needed to be saved and then he left, he left him standing there alone while he ran to hide as he normally did.

“Oh James, I’m sorry this guy keeps bothering you, next time I see him maybe I’ll punch him myself”, Natasha says rubbing circles on Bucky’s back.

“Please, do so”, he chuckles wiping away the tears on his cheeks.

“Just talk to him, would you?” his friend asks.

“Yeah, I’ll try”, Bucky shrugs.

“In other news, have you decided what are you wearing on Friday for Stark’s Halloween Party?” Natasha wonders.

“That shit is this Friday?” He questions in surprise. _Already?_

“Yes, although you can go _au naturel_ and still look pretty scary”, she jokes.

“Ha-ha, really funny”, he says sarcastically.

“Steve will be there, you should take the opportunity to talk to him there”, Natasha suggests.

“Yeah, maybe”, Bucky nods.

_I wonder what Steve’s costume is._

_I hope it’s the slutty version._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm telling you, these two are idiots, right?


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HALLOWEEN IS HERE!!!
> 
> Pardon the caps lock c:
> 
> Enjoy :*:*:*

It’s late but there are still kids and parents trick or treating in the streets, all kinds of people dressed up and the normal amount of commuters who are just going through their normal day. 

Bucky really doesn’t want to ride the subway to get to Tony’s house today so he chooses to ask for a cab instead, he really can’t ride his bike comfortably with the pants he’s wearing. He wonders if Steve’s really going to the party or not. If Bucky sees him there, the first thing he’s doing is apologizing, _I have to_ , how much of an idiot he had been that day, and after everything that happened.

He arrives at Tony Stark’s Residency by himself, Natasha said she’d arrive later with Clint, that their costumes were a surprise. As he gets there, the place is packed, security checking for ID’s and concealed weapons, there is a red carpet on the entry way and everything, all sorts of Halloween decorations around the place, everything looks classy and expensive, it sure is Stark money but Bucky is sure that Pepper is the one with taste, he wonders how the woman’s house looks like.

The brunet gets to the front door trying to avoid the paparazzi wondering around the place, Tony is walking out of a limo with Pepper by his side, both of them waving at the cameras. _What the heck?_ Bucky skips the red carpet and walks in through the side, he’s getting his ID checked when Tony walks up to him and pats his back, telling the girl on the reception to let him go through without bothering with formalities.

“Hey man, what the hell are you doing arriving in a limo? You live here!” Bucky chuckles.

“Are you kidding me? It’s my party, I have to arrive in style!” Tony shrugs and Pepper shakes her head giggling.

“Style, yeah right”, Bucky waves a hand at him.

“Edward Scissorhands!” Pepper exclaims with a smile.

“Yes, my queen”, Bucky says making a small reverence in front of Pepper who is dressed as the queen of hearts.

“Ahem”, Tony clears his throat.

“And King, excuse meee”, Bucky adds, “wow, you even got the wig down, you guys look great!” he chuckles.

“Where are your scissors?” Tony teases.

Bucky struggles to pull them out of his backpack, “Ta……. DA!” he cheers when he puts them on.

“Wow, they actually look cool”, Tony says, “well Buck-o, we have to go, got a party to mind after all”, the man shrugs.

“See you later, Bucky”, Pepper adds wrapping her arm around Tony’s.

***

Steve is getting ready for the Halloween Party at Stark’s, he’s going as ‘The Driver’ from Drive, basically Ryan Gosling. He knows he’s a bit bigger than the character but he has the jacket and gloves already. He loves this time of the year aside from Christmas but he’s been so caught up with work lately that he didn’t have any time to decorate the house, he wasn’t going to be able to give away candies himself since he gets off from work late, but he bought several bags of sugary treats and told Miles to give them on his behalf. After work, he gets home, changes, fixes his hair and takes off.

He wants to talk to Bucky, get it out and apologize if it’s necessary but he doesn’t want things to be over between them either. If Bucky isn’t sure about pursuing a relationship with him it’s fine too, as long as they can still be friends.

_I rather be his friend than go back and not have him at all._

The blond gets to Tony’s house and leaves his motorcycle parked near the property, he avoids the crowd in the front door and goes in using the door on the side, they check him for weapons and register his ID before he’s left inside.

Steve moves through the people and he’s glad when he spots a familiar redhead with a tall lady next to her, “Natasha!” He yells.

“Oh, hi Steve!” She waves at him.

“Oh my god, Peter Pan!” Steve exclaims.

“What are you dressed as?” Clint asks turning around.

“OH MY GOD, PETER PAN AND WENDY!” Steve laughs, “you guys are awesome”, he says in excitement. Natasha is wearing the classic Peter Pan green attire, her hair pinned up to make it look a bit shorter tucked inside the hat, and Clint is wearing a wig with curls, a blue dress, flat shoes and everything.

“You’re dressed as Ryan Gosling, from Drive?” Natasha asks with a smile.

“Yeah”, Steve nods.

“I thought you were just wearing a cool jacket”, Clint remarks.

“Well, I ride a bike, it’s not like I can wear something too elaborate, and not enough time either”, he explains.

“Well, that’s true”, Clint shrugs.

“You look nice, Steve”, Natasha adds.

“Thanks”, he nods smiling.

“C’mon, let’s party!” she smirks turning around, she hooks one of her arms with Clint’s and the other with Steve’s.

***

Bucky’s so glad he came, there’s candy everywhere, his body is not big enough for all of it, everyone is dressed up and having a good time. He’s stuffing 3 pieces of chocolate in his mouth when he feels someone tap his shoulder, Bucky turns around and sees Natasha, Bucky swallows to speak.

“PETER PAN, AND WENDY!” he shouts looking between Natasha and Clint, “wow, you guys look great”, he adds.

“I know”, Clint says flipping his long wig behind his shoulder teasingly and Natasha rolls her eyes.

“You too, James”, Nat kisses his cheeks”, “we’ll see you later, we’re going dancing”. Natasha informs tilting her head towards the third figure in their group before the couple walks away.

Steve is staring down at the floor looking nervous, Bucky takes a step forward and places his hand on the blond’s bicep, squeezing gently, “Steve, I’m sorry”, he says immediately.

_I’m so, so sorry._

“What? No, no”, he shakes his head looking up to meet Bucky’s eyes, “I should be the one saying sorry, I am”, Steve nods getting closer to him.

“No, I shouldn’t have lashed out like that, and then I shouldn't have kept quiet this whole week”, Bucky sighs, “I just didn’t know what to say”, he fiddles with the chocolate plastic wrap he has in his hand.

“Bucky, don’t be sorry, I shouldn’t have pressured you”, the blond insists.

“You were just concerned about me and I couldn’t see that”, Bucky sighs.

_Because I’m such an idiot._

“Yeah, but still”, Steve shrugs.

The couple stays quiet for a while looking around the place, watching the people on the dance floor and running through the halls, they look at each other again and they both smile.

“So, we’re ok now?” Bucky wonders shyly.

“Yes”, Steve nods quickly turning his body to face the brunet.

_Hell yes!_

“You know, I don’t regret everything that happened that night”, Bucky adds with a smile, stretching his hand to hold Steve’s.

_I don’t regret kissing you, and sharing food with you, and hugging you, and just being with you._

“Yeah, I was hoping you didn’t”, Steve grins back squeezing Bucky’s hand, “anyway, why aren’t you dressed up?” the blond blushes a little.

“What? I’m Edward Scissorhands!” Bucky whines gesturing to his scissors on top of the table and Steve chuckles.

“I noticed, I was just kidding”, he giggles some more leaning forward, “you’re hair isn’t all messed up though”, Steve says running his hands through Bucky’s hair gently, locking a few strands behind his ear.

_Oh god, yes!_

“I wasn’t going to tease it, I would end up with no hair at all”, he shrugs.

“Hmmm, ok”, Steve smiles lowering his hands and the brunet is missing his touch already.

“Are you Ryan Gosling, you know, from Drive?” Bucky wonders.

_Cause’ you drive me crazy, that’s for sure._

“Yes”, Steve answers nodding.

“You look nice”, Bucky smirks.

_More like handsome, and hot, and sexy._

“Thanks”, Steve blushes some more, “you too”, he smiles wide.

 _I want to kiss him again, pleaseeeeee!_  
  
***

Steve is glad things with Bucky are back to normal, they keep eating candy for a bit   talking about their past days and just sharing a moment with each other, they decide to stand up and go play some of the arcade games that Tony has set up around the place. Aside from that there’s also a dance floor, a small stage with a band and a mini haunted labyrinth. It’s by far the funnest adult party Steve has ever been to, and here he is _, with Bucky._

They move towards the side of the house and see Sam half naked wearing a towel around his waist, “you’re the old spice guy!” Bucky yells, “I have to take a picture”, he announces retrieving his phone from his pocket.

“I’ll do the pose and everything”, Sam laughs holding an old spice bottle in his hands, and Steve can’t stop laughing.

“Where’s Sharon?” he asks when he calms himself.

“She had to work today, there’s an event at SHIELD tonight”, his friend explains.

 “So that’s why you’re half naked today?” Steve teases.

“Oh c’mon, Sharon and I are serious but I can show off the stuff”, Sam chuckles wiggling his eyebrows at them.

“Have you seen Clint?” Bucky asks excitedly.

“I haven’t seen anyone but you guys, the place is huge!” He answers with a whistle.

“Wait here, I’ll go get him”, Bucky says before walking away.

“I’m glad you guys made up”, Sam comments as soon as the brunet leaves.

“Yeah, me too”, Steve nods.

“So, what’s the situation here?” Sam quirks an eyebrow in question.

“I don’t know, he said he didn't regret what happened”, the blond shrugs. _Luckily._

“Soooo?” Sam lifts his hands and waves them as he’s expecting some sort of explanation.

“We just made up Sam, what do you want me to do? Ravish him in a corner or what?” Steve questions.

“Well, considering how much sexual tension there is between you two”, Sam shrugs his shoulder frowning his mouth.

“SAAAM!” He exclaims.

“I’m just saying, I wouldn’t be against it”, Sam chuckles, “probably he won’t be either”, he adds. Steve covers his flushed face with both his hands, Bucky comes back seconds later with more candy on his pockets, Natasha and Clint walking behind him.

“Clint, you look beautiful”, Sam says to his friend.

“Thanks Sam, I feel very pretty”, he moves his hips making the dress swing around.

“Good evening everyone!” Thor yells, giving Sam and Steve a warm hug and then greets everyone else enthusiastically, he’s dressed as He-Man and Jane like She-Ra.

“Great costumes guys!” Natasha says snapping a picture.

“Thanks Natasha, you guys look great too!” Jane smiles.

“We are on our way to the table of goods, does anyone wish to accompany us?” Thor wonders.

“I need some sustenance!” Sam shouts mocking Thor’s voice, walking behind the couple.

“We’re going back to the dance floor, you guys coming?” Clint asks Steve and Bucky.

“Maybe later”, Bucky nods and turns to wink at Steve, he feels his heart skip a beat about the idea of dancing with the brunet, _as in with him_ , not just as friends.

***

Steve and him walk to the arcade games and spot Bruce Banner on their way there, the older man is dressed in a disco outfit and he’s waiting in turn to throw a ball at a target, where a seat is positioned on top of a water tank, Bucky walks over to him to greet him.

“Hey man, what are you waiting for?” Bucky wonders after shaking his hand.

“Tony’s going to sit there and if someone hits the target, he’s going to donate 1 million dollars to a charity”, Bruce explains.

“Wow, that’s pretty awesome”, Steve says looking at the water tank, Bucky goes straight to the end of the line.

“C’mon Steve, I gotta try it in case these guys miss”, Bucky says dragging him by the arm and the blond rolls his eyes.

The couple waits in line talking a bit more, sharing candy and taking pictures every time they spot an interesting costume or any of their friends, the guys from the Howling Commandos are there too, dressed as an army squad with plastic guns and all, and Bucky huffs at them because he didn’t got the memo. All of them giggle and chat for a bit, Gabe and Monty are a bit drunk by now and keep offering drinks at him, Bucky politely refuses since he wants to be aware of everything around him, not wanting to miss any second with Steve.

“Damn it!” Tony ends up falling after Bruce hits the target; the guy had taken off his costume before the fall, he was only wearing a pair of white boxers with hearts on them and his crown.

Bucky doesn’t gets his chance to dunk Tony Stark into a cold water tank but at least someone else does, and for a good cause. Steve and him move to the next activity, which is the ‘hunted maze’, they are intercepted by Peter and Wade on their way there.

“Peanut butter and jelly!” Steve exclaims.

“It was Wade’s Idea”, Peter remarks.

“Don’t we make a great combination?” Wade says attempting to hug Peter, Bucky can’t help to burst out laughing. 

“Where’s Gwen?” Steve wonders.

“She’s studying for an exam”, Peter answers sadly.

“Aww, that’s too bad”, the blond says.

“It’s ok, she enjoys giving out candy more than going out, besides Wade insisted”, Peter shrugs.

“I did, I need you here with me forever”, the guy says, “holly molly, look at that couple, I don’t know who’s hotter”, Wade adds with wide eyes.

The four of them turn around to see Loki and Darcy walking by, they are dressed in all black, Darcy is wearing a black dress with no cleavage on the front but her back is completely exposed and her long hair wavy around her shoulders

She walks up to them with a smile, “hi, guys”, she says showing off the fangs she’s wearing.

“Wow, you look amazing Darcy”, Steve says, Loki comes walking towards them, his hair is slicked back, wearing a black shirt and dress pants with a long cape draped over his back, sporting fangs on his teeth too.

“You guys look like legit vampires”, Bucky comments.

“Thanks, we try”, she says shrugging a bit.

“We are going to the maze, care to join us?” Loki asks placing his long arm around Darcy’s shoulders.

“Yeah, sure”, Steve nods, “we’re headed that way actually, we’ve been here for a while and we haven’t been in it”, he chuckles.

_A while, oh crap!_

“What time is it?” Bucky questions looking down at his phone to notice it’s almost midnight, “I think I’m gonna have to get going after this”, the brunet announces.

“What, why?” Steve wonders staring right into his eyes, gently grasping Bucky’s arm. Bucky looks down at his hand and then back up at Steve’s sweet puppy baby-blue eyes.

“I didn’t bring my bike, I took a cab”, Bucky explains.

“Well, I always bring an extra helmet with me, I can give you a ride home after everything” Steve smiled wide pleadingly.

“Ok, that sounds fun”, he shrugs, “it surprises me so much that you’re scared of rollercoasters but aren’t afraid of riding a motorcycle”, Bucky teases.

“It’s not the same thing”, Steve frowns.

***

The maze turns out to be more funny than scary. Darcy and Loki walk a few feet apart from them, Bucky leans against Steve, the blond holds his hand as they walk giggling and jumping every time something scares him out of the blue. When they get out of there, Bucky pulls him towards the dance floor, the music sounding more loud as they get closer and Steve stops in his tracks holding the brunet back.

“C’mon, Stevie”, Bucky insist squeezing his hand.

“Remember that time at Howard’s party? I told you I have two left feet, I can’t dance”, he shakes his head, “I’ll hate to step on your toes”, Steve sighs.

“You won’t”, the brunet says, “please, for me?” Bucky gives him a cheeky smile.

“Fine”, Steve huffs and Bucky leans forward to kiss Steve’s cheek.

When they reach the place, it’s even more packed, Steve can see Thor dancing with Jane on the side, Clint and Natasha are also moving close to each other and no one is paying attention to them. The music is loud, the beat roaring through the speakers and the bass making his bones vibrate. Steve stares at the crowd for a moment, more like dancing, everyone is grinding and rubbing against each other, arms and legs roaming through bodies, there’s also a lot of kissing, shouting and drinking, and it’s making Steve feel hot and flustered.

“Are you okay?” Bucky shouts drawing back his attention and Steve nods, “you sure?” the brunet adds leaning forward, his hot breath against Steve’s ear.

He swallows hard and stares back at Bucky, “yeah, lets do this”, he says.

Bucky guides him to the center of the dance floor, when the guy finds the spot he wants, he turns around to face him and closes the distance between them placing his hands on Steve’s waist to bring him closer, the blond stares at him with wide eyes, his respirations picking up a faster pace, Bucky’s eyes are looking back at his, the piercings on his face look bright under the dim lights of the room and he has a soft smile on his lips.

“Just follow me, okay?” Bucky says into his ear.

Steve moves his hands up and places them on each side of Bucky’s neck, finally putting his lips on Bucky’s like he’s been dying to do all night, the brunet tastes sweet, _so sweet_ , and smells just as good. He opens his mouth to let the other man invade it, his tongue wet and warm against his, Bucky still has his hands on Steve’s waist rubbing his thumbs over his hipbones making the blond shiver.

When they finally break the kiss, hot and aroused, Bucky starts swinging his hips from side to side slowly, picking up the rhythm of the music, a song that Steve doesn’t know, but it’s not like he cares anyway, he can’t think of any other thing but the man in front of him at the moment. The brunet moves his hands up to Steve’s neck and shifts closer to him, rolling his hips like he does when he’s performing, but this time he does it against Steve’s body.

Hypnotized by the man’s movements, Steve starts moving along with him, he’s sure that everyone else around are not even looking at them but he still blushes red as a tomato, this isn’t exactly qualified as dancing, but right now he tries not to think about, he mimics the movements from the people around them, placing his hands on Bucky’s lower back to move with him while Bucky’s fingers roam around Steve’s broad upper body.

***

This is going even better than what Bucky expected, on top of Bucky apologizing to Steve after what he said to him on Friday, the blond said he was sorry too and Bucky still can’t believe how amazing this man is. He’s been eating free candy non-stop, laughing and having a good time with his friends, the ones that are around also partying with them.

And if that isn’t enough, Steve offered to give him a ride home, and now here he his grinding and touching all over the blond’s body and Bucky’s skin feels like burning, his face is so flushed he thinks it’s about to melt. Steve moves his leg between Bucky’s and the only thing he wants to do is hump him, feeling his pants getting tighter by the second.

Bucky turns around and leans against Steve, rubbing his lower body into the blond’s crotch, feeling Steve’s bulge against his ass making him even hotter, wishing their clothes could magically disappear. The brunet moves his right arm over his head to reach back to Steve’s neck, his left hand on top of Steve’s where it rests on his hip.

He continues to grind against him, moving and swinging side to side along with the music, Steve starts kissing the back of Bucky’s neck and the brunet’s eyes flutter shut immediately, he bites down into his lower lip feeling Steve’s hot breath on his skin, sending goosebumps all over his back.

This needs to stop, _right now_ , Bucky’s cock continues to harden inside his jeans and if he doesn’t put an end to this, he’s afraid he’ll start ripping his clothes off in front of all those people in the middle of Tony’s house. He starts slowing down his movements, lowering his hand and turning around to face Steve again, he can see in the blond’s eyes he’s also struggling, the place is a bit dark but he can tell the guy’s pupils are blown wide, probably as wide as his.

“Let’s get some water, yes?” Bucky says into Steve ear before he gives him a tiny kiss right under it, Steve shivers in return nodding quickly. Bucky smirks and starts walking again pulling Steve by the hand.

They reach their table where it’s a bit quieter and Steve snatches two bottles of water from a waiter passing by; they take a seat and stay silent for a while trying to calm themselves, the couple stare at each other for a moment and burst out laughing seconds after, Steve’s cheeks are still blushed and Bucky feels flustered but everything is smoother now.

“So, what do you say if we leave now?” Steve suggests.

“Sure”, he shrugs.

Bucky stuffs his bag with candy from the table and grabs his forgotten gloves. They’re not sure where their friends are at the moment and decide not to look for them and just text them later. Walking towards the door while they hold hands, Bucky feels like walking on clouds.

***

They get to the front door and walk out into the night to find Steve’s motorcycle, when they get there, finally alone away from all the noise, Bucky leans against his bike and looks up at Steve, the blond sighs at the view.

 _He’s so perfect_  

“Hey”, Bucky smirks.

“Today was fun”, Steve responds.

“Yeah”, Bucky nods pulling Steve by the loops on his jeans closing the gap between them, “I don’t want to go back to my apartment”, he says biting his lower lip staring at Steve.

 _Shit,_ _he’s so cute._

“Ok, we can go back to my house”, Steve suggests with blushed cheeks, he places his hands on Bucky’s shoulders and leans forward to kiss his forehead, Bucky chuckles a bit.

“We can do that”, Bucky nods.

Steve starts to untie the helmets, he gives one to Bucky and the brunet pulls himself off the bike and turns them around, he pushes Steve back so he’s the one resting against the motorcycle now. The brunet leans in and closes the distance between their faces, giving him a gentle but passionate kiss, grabbing the back of Steve’s neck with his left hand and the helmet with the right one.

Bucky sucks at Steve’s lower lip earning a tiny whimper from the blond, he holds himself onto the seat of the bike under him. They part to put on their helmets, Steve remains there watching him for a moment with the helmet on, he gulps and gets on the motorcycle putting on his helmet while he sits properly.

He waits for Bucky to jump in behind him, “hold on”, Steve says looking back over his shoulder and the other man nods.

It feels great having Bucky’s warm chest pressed to his back, his arms wrapped around his waist tightly. As they wait alone on a stoplight, Steve feels Bucky loosens his grip a bit, he’s about to try to make him re-tighten it when he senses Bucky’s right hand travel up his chest.

_What is he doing?_

He stands up straighter on the bike and Bucky scoots closer to him, the other man’s crotch pressed to his ass, _funny how the tables have turned_ , Bucky’s left hand lowers slowly to Steve’s pelvic area and starts stroking over the fabric, getting closer to the blond’s cock. Steve shivers under Bucky’s grasp and claps his lips together tightly, he places his right hand on top of the brunet’s, and Steve gulps looking down at Bucky’s hand stroking his bulging erection while the other rubs his chest up and down.

_Oh shit._

With all the will he has in him, Steve removes Bucky’s hand from his lap and chest and places them back on his waist, he strokes his thumbs against Bucky’s skin, he wants to convey how this is not the best moment to be teasing him but that this is in a way, a good plan.

_An excellent plan actually._

Thirty minutes and around eight lights later, _not that I’m counting_ , they stumble out of the motorcycle to reach up to the stairs of his front door, taking off their helmets desperately, Steve tries to open the door quickly but having Bucky’s hands on him is making it really difficult.

As soon as Steve walks through the front door, he has his back shoved against the wall, right next to the fireplace, he turns his head to the right to see if any of the pictures fell down, next thing he knows, Bucky grabs him by the jaw with his left hand and forces him to turn his head.

“Eyes up front”, Bucky demands looking at Steve right in the eyes, Bucky’s blue eyes are almost black, his pupils blown out with lust and desire, Steve feels the stare go straight down his pants making his dick twitch.

Bucky starts planting soft little kisses on Steve’s face, his piercing cold, pecks on his cheeks, the nose, his jaw, on the corner of his lips and Steve can’t take it anymore, he just needs Bucky now, _like right now._ Steve locates his hand on the back of Bucky’s neck and scratches the long hairs on his nape, he pulls Bucky closer to him with his other hand that perfectly fits on the brunet’s lower back, and presses Bucky tightly against him.

You see, there’s a thing about control that Steve understands clearly, most of his life he’s been pushed around, rejected and turned down, but he has always fought for what he wants, for what he stands for, for what is right, it doesn’t matter how many bloody noses, scrapped knees or bruised ribs it has given him, he doesn’t care.

All of his friends are always saying he’s this good guy that everybody wants to take home to their parents, put him on top of a wedding cake, bake pies for them and build little house trees on their back yards; that he’s this cute blushing virgin that doesn’t know what to do when it comes to sex, _I blush a lot, yes, but I ain’t no virgin, alright,_ Steve just laughs every time.

He’s more private when it comes to his sexuality because he’s well aware that it’s nobody’s business but his. So he might not be like some of his friends that like to shout at the top of their lungs that they just had sex. _Because I don’t see the need to._

He has had his way around, it might not be one night stands, but he has had a handful of relationship to experiment and try the things he feels curious about, he’s had both boyfriends and girlfriends and none of them seem to have any complains in that area.

Steve knows what he likes and he knows how to get it, because when it comes to sex, he takes control.

But right now, in this moment, he’s with Bucky, he still thinks he’s dreaming because he won’t understand what a guy like Bucky sees in him, but he doesn’t say anything, he’s too far gone in the moment.

He want to kiss Bucky roughly until he can’t breath, he wants to tell him what to do, he wants to fuck him raw against the wall until he can’t stand on his feet anymore, he wants to make him come so bad that he will have to carry him to bed, but Steve won’t do any of those things.

_Unless he wants me to._

Bucky has had enough of that in his life with a guy like Brock in the past and Steve doesn’t want to hurt him, because even though he fantasizes about fucking him through the mattress until he screams Steve’s name, he still wants to take care of him after, to cuddle against him at night and rub his hand to Bucky’s back, and hold him tight against his chest, to wake up next to him and make him breakfast in the morning, but he won’t do any of those things either.

_Unless he wants me to._

He closes the distance between them and lets Bucky guide him, because he respects him, because he won’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want, because he cares about him.

_Because I love him._

When Bucky finally kisses him properly it’s needy, wet and hot, their mouths are slightly open, the cold metal of Bucky’s lip piercing rubbing against the soft skin of Steve’s lips, Bucky’s mouth tastes like chocolate because of all the candy he’s been eating and it’s the most delicious thing that Steve has ever tasted.

Bucky is holding Steve’s head with both of his hands, breathing roughly through his nose, he passes his tongue through Steve’s teeth like begging for more and Steve can’t do anything but obey, he lowers his hands and places them in Bucky’s hipbones rubbing circles with his thumbs on the warm skin, holding him in place.

Steve opens his mouth a little more and Bucky is sticking his tongue inside, passing it playfully on the roof of Steve’s mouth, their tongues are warm against each other and Steve can feel his pants getting tighter, and he knows Bucky is responding the same way when the brunet starts rubbing his crotch against Steve’s leg.

_We’re still wearing clothes and this is getting uncomfortable._

And it’s like Bucky reads his mind because the next thing he knows he’s unzipping Steve’s jacket and struggling because they haven’t stopped kissing, as they turned their heads, brushing their noses and breathing fast. Steve tries to do the same, fiddling with Bucky’s straps and belts on his jacket but it’s impossible without seeing what his hands are doing and Bucky gets it, he makes an annoyed sound on the back of his throat and Steve chuckles.

They part a bit, Bucky’s lips are wet, swollen and bright red from being kissed so hard, each of them take off their jackets and their pants, leaving them in just their underwear and t-shirts, Steve is about to take off his when he feels Bucky’s cold hands under it, running his hands through the blonde’s chiseled abs making him hiss under his gentle touch.

Bucky pulls up Steve’s shirt, the blond helps by lifting his arms over his head, as soon as the offending fabric is off of him, he knows that his hair must look ridiculous, Bucky is planting kisses on Steve neck and down his throat, on his collarbones and Steve grits his teeth and tilts his head back until it bumps on the wall behind him, exposing his Adam’s apple and making more room for Bucky. Steve’s hands are still resting on Bucky’s hips, then Bucky is sucking a hickey on his collarbone, right above of one of the wings of his tattoo chest piece, running his hands up and down his broad chest, and suddenly he needs to grab onto something.

_I need more._

***

Steve’s not even completely hard under his boxer briefs, and Bucky can feel it as he rubs his own growing erection against the perfect man in front of him, Steve lowers his hands to squeeze Bucky’s ass and the brunet makes a stranded noise on the back of his throat.

_Well, that’s the Steve I want._

Bucky is well aware of the situation, Steve is not completely there, he doesn’t know what Steve likes when it comes to sex and _I really want to find out, but I know he’s keeping a lot to himself right now._ Bucky doesn’t believe what his friends always say about Steve being shy and innocent, he’s just more reserved and he knows it. Steve probably thinks he’s going to hurt Bucky or that he’s going to make a move that he doesn’t like, but that is impossible, _I’ll take anything he gives me._ Bucky has been guiding the situation, he made the first move but he wants Steve to take what he wants, and Bucky wants to give it to him.

Steve smells amazing, a strong, manly and rich scent, a mixtures of sweat and soap and he tastes way better, Bucky sucks more marks into Steve’s pale skin, on his neck and throat, on his broad and tattooed shoulders, and the blond is making this cute grunting noises, frowning his eyebrows a bit. Steve lets go of his ass to pull Bucky’s shirt off and the brunet is missing the warm touch, when the piece of clothing is finally off, he hears Steve curse under his breath.

“Shit”, he says looking down, his lips swollen and his face flustered, Bucky takes a step back and stares at him.

“What is it?” Bucky says in panic.

_Did I do something wrong?_

“I’m sorry”, Steve apologizes.

“For what?” he wonders.

“I totally forgot you had it on”, Steve is scared looking at Bucky’s chest.

_Oh, right, the brace._

“Hey, don’t worry about it, just help me take it off”, Bucky says struggling to pull at the Velcro.

Steve’s touch is so gentle, he pulls the brace off and plants small kisses on Bucky’s shoulder where the tattoo sleeve ends and the bare skin starts and a few others where the faded scars from past surgeries are, he feels like crying, but he won’t, he has things to do. He’s trying to concentrate again but he feels Steve is stiff under his touch, he kisses Steve again, but it’s soft and delicate, not that Bucky minds, but he has other things in mind.

Bucky pulls back again and Steve is looking puzzled back at him, “Steve, c’mon, I want this, don’t you?” Bucky says resting his hands on the sides of Steve’s neck look at him in the eyes, his pupils blown wide.

_The signs are there._

“I do, it’s not that, I just-…” He says with a small voice.

“Hey, I know you’re holding back okay, but why?” Bucky wonders.

“It’s just…”, he shakes his head, “I don’t want to hurt you”, the blond looks down again.

“Oh Steve, you’re not going to hurt me, it’s okay”, he nods, and Steve hasn’t looked up yet, “I’ll tell you what”, Bucky says and that makes Steve look at him, “I want you to be you, don’t hold back for me, and if you do something I don’t like or I have a problem with, I’ll let you know, okay?” Bucky nodds

“You promise?” Steve asks, almost like a whisper.

“Yes”, he says, “now, can we continue with our situation?” Bucky sasses pointing down at his boxers, Steve laughs at that.

And what happens next is something out of Bucky’s wet dreams, it’s like Steve is a whole different person, the blond grabs him by the neck and crashes their mouths together again, his other hand on Bucky’s lower back pressing him against his chest. The kiss is one of the best things that Bucky has ever experienced, it makes his dick twitch, his insides turn and his head explode.

_I’m not going to come just by a kiss._

_Imagine how embarrassing that would be like?_

It’s like Steve can pour all his emotions into a kiss, it’s possessive and eager and sexy; the blonde’s tongue circles around Bucky’s, his lips sucking at his bottom lip, his teeth clack for a moment before Steve bites down on his lip ring and pulls a little earning a moan from Bucky.

_So that’s how he kisses!_

They part a bit, their chests rising and searching for air as they both chuckle, then Steve is kissing him again, softly this time as he turns him around so now he’s the one against the wall. Steve is planting kisses along his jaw and down his neck, then stops to take extra attention with the soft skin on the back of Bucky’s ears and earlobe. Steve treads his fingers onto Bucky’s hair and pulls back making him tilt his head, then he’s licking a strap on his throat with the flat of his tongue, and Bucky’s eyes go to the back of his head as he moans, _because shit, that feels amazing,_ this is his sweet and cute Steve, and this is so filthy and erotic that he feels his knees go weak.

Bucky has his hands resting on Steve’s shoulders but then the blond has other plans for that, he grabs Bucky’s hands by the wrists and pins them above his head, holding them there with one hand, Bucky feels exposed in this position but this is Steve, he knows he’s not going to hurt him, Bucky’s swinging his hips upwards in search for some kind of contact on the lower part of his body but Steve makes him wait like this.

_Just kiss me, touch me, anything!_

***

Steve has Bucky pinned to the wall and he looks _too damn_ gorgeous with a flustered expression on his face, he’s taking his time with this because he wants Bucky to ask for more, he really doesn’t want to hurt him, and Bucky said he’ll let him know if something is wrong but he’s being careful anyway.

He rubs his free hand to Bucky’s chest softly, his little hairs rising with goosebumps, he stares at Bucky’s pierced nipples, he ducks down his head and licks one nipple painfully slow before he looks up to see Bucky’s reaction, he’s been dying to do this, and the moan that comes out of Bucky’s throat is beautiful and hot, it makes Steve’s dick get harder, he’s about to lick the other nipple but he stays there waiting, when Bucky finally gets what’s happening he looks down at him with desperation in his eyes.

“Stevie, c’mon, don’t tease me like that”, Bucky pleads but in reality he looks like he’s loving every second of it, moving his hips a little, Steve laughs on the back of his throat and continues with his job.

He licks Bucky’s nipples flicking his tongue slowly, then sucks at them and runs circles around them with his tongue, blowing hot breath at them and Bucky is shaking under his grip, storming his legs a little. Steve’s hand starts to travel down to Bucky’s boxers and he rubs at his erection on top of the soft fabric causing Bucky to shiver.

_Oh, yes._

“Fuuuck”, Bucky curses as he licks his lips before biting down.

Steve giggles at Bucky’s reaction and the brunet is looking at him with such pleading eyes that Steve wants to go down on him right then and there, but he wants this to last, _it can wait_. Instead, he keeps rubbing slowly feeling Bucky’s dick growing on his hand,

“You like this?”, Steve teases with a smirk on his face.

“Mmhhm”, Bucky nods fast.

“How about this?” Steve asks dragging his tongue, his hand slides inside of Bucky’s boxers, _and damn, he’s big_ , Steve hasn’t looked down to see Bucky’s dick but he bets it’s gorgeous, he’s concentrated on Bucky’s face at the moment, he doesn’t want to miss any reaction or little moan that comes out from the brunet’s mouth.

Steve lets go of Bucky’s hands because he doesn’t want to hurt his shoulder and he’s afraid it might get a little numb in that position, Steve kisses Bucky passionately, his left hand is cupping Bucky’s face, his tongue travels inside his mouth while Steve’s other hand is twisting and pulling at the brunet’s leaking cock under his boxers, Bucky arches his back to meet Steve’s touch, then he feels Bucky’s hands travel to his boxers, his finger fiddling with the waist band.

***

_Oh shit, he has to stop._

_I don’t want to come on his hand, not yet anyway._

Steve’s hand feels amazing and he’s wet, leaking pre-come under his boxers, huffing into Steve mouth; he takes Steve’s left hand and sucks the index finger slowly hollowing his cheeks as he pulls it out, he gets the perfect answer because Steve has stopped what he’s doing and is looking at Bucky with his mouth slightly open.

_And now I know what I have to do._

Bucky turns them around so Steve is against the wall one more time, he docks his head and starts kissing Steve’s neck again, he rubs his thumbs against the blonde’s pink nipples making him tremble a little, he kisses his way down Steve’s abdomen and the blond is looking down at him with wide eyes, like he can’t believe what’s happening, _same thing here._

He folds his jacket that’s been forgotten on the floor and leaves it on the floor in front of Steve before he kneels down on it, it’s something stupid to do but his knees will give him hell the next day if he doesn’t, Steve has his hands resting on his sides and Bucky’s are playing with the waist band pulling at it towards his face to take a peek.

“Now who’s teasing?” Steve says and Bucky winks back at him.

_Ok, this is it._

Bucky pulls down slowly Steve’s underwear and he wasn’t prepared for what his eyes are seeing, _because OH MY GOD_ , Steve’s dick is so big, and perfect and rock hard that it makes Bucky’s mouth water, he stares at it for a moment and tilts his head to the side.

“Holy shiiiiiiit”, he exclaims.

_Did I say that out loud?_

“What…what is it?” Steve asks nervously looking down at Bucky.

“Nothing, it’s just…”, he says swallowing before he starts to drool and continues, “you’re fucking huge”, Bucky sighs

“Oh”, Steve frowns, “Isn’t that… aaw shiiiit”, he finishes with a shaky breath before closing his mouth abruptly.

_That’s right, shut up already._

Bucky just licked a strip down Steve’s shaft, _and it tastes even better than it looks,_ he passes the flat of his tongue along Steve’s dick a few times, tasting the pre-come and circling his tongue around the red tip, he’s holding the base of Steve’s cock with his left hand, the right one cupping the blonde’s balls, squeezing gently.

The brunet notices Steve doesn’t know what to do with his hands, he has them resting on his hips trying to look casual but Bucky knows better. He starts to plant little kisses on the head before putting it on his warm mouth completely, sucking at it, that earns him a muffled moan from Steve, right before he covers his mouth with his own hand, tilting his head backwards, the palm of his other hand against the wall behind him.

He knows what will make Steve go crazy, you can’t blame him for wanting to please the man, he starts bobbing his head down slowly taking in everything he can, his hands still holding at the base of Steve’s dick, he stays like that for a few seconds his nostrils growing as he breaths calmly, he pulls out the long shaft completely from his mouth, dragging a string of saliva that falls down on his chin.

Steve isn’t looking down at him, he still has his head tilted back with his eyes closed tightly making wrinkles on his forehead, Bucky knows this is torture for the guy because he probably wants to go fast and thrust into his mouth, and Bucky has no problem with that, on the contrary, _I want him to do it, but if he doesn’t, I’m going to make him suffer for it._

He starts bobbing his head up and down with a painfully slow rhythm and now he can feel Steve beginning to swing his hips upwards, finally placing a hand on Bucky’s head, treading his fingers to the long brown strands to keep them away from his face, _what a gentleman._

Bucky keeps sucking and humming against Steve’s dick and he feels as the blonde is slowly starting to fall apart, he takes it deep inside his mouth, but not all the way inside, he knows it can go deeper, but he still wants Steve to do it; when the blond finally does it, it takes him by surprise causing him to gag a little and Steve goes very still and lowers both of his hands and places them against the wall.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, Steve panics.

_Here we go again._

“Steve, relax, it’s okay”, he assures as he starts kissing the base of Steve’s dick, his lower abdomen, his hipbones and everything his mouth could reach.

***

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Steve shakes his head.

“Steve, shut up”, the other man demands, “I told you I’m fine, I’ll let you know if I’m not, okay?” Bucky insists, looking up at him rubbing circles into Steve’s thighs.

_How can I deserve this man?_

“Okay”, Steve nods.

“Now, I know you want to trust into my mouth, don’t you?” Bucky teases biting his bottom lip. Steve doesn’t answer, he just looks down at Bucky’s blown pupils and wet red lips.

_Oh shit, yes!_

“Steve, tell me what you want” Bucky demands.

_Just tell him already, you are not a blushing virgin, Rogers!_

“I want to fuck your mouth, baby”, he whispers, “can I do that?” Steve pleads.

“Well, somebody’s gotta do it”, Bucky smiles wide and Steve is trying hard not to pass out.

The brunet licks his lips and proceeds to suck the head of Steve’s dick again, Steve feels more comfortable this time placing one hand on top of Bucky’s head and the other one cupping his face, not pushing them or anything, just resting there.

Bucky is taking Steve’s dick inside his mouth and it feels incredible, he’s looking down this time, Bucky’s lips stretching while his dick disappears inside the brunet’s mouth, and it’s the most perfect thing that Steve has ever seen. He starts trusting into Bucky’s mouth, not too fast but not too slow, and Bucky is taking his dick even deeper, sticking out his tongue to make more room for it.

“Ah shiiit, Bucky, that feels so good”, he praises and Bucky hums against his dick.

_Fuck, fuck!_

Steve has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from screaming, he’s normally pretty vocal when he has to ask for what he wants but he doesn’t scream or moans so much, _but Bucky is making all of this pretty damn difficult._

Bucky is bobbing his head up and down on Steve’s hard dick and the blond starts to fuck his way inside of Bucky’s mouth holding a fistful of Bucky’s hair, the swollen tip touching the back of his throat and Steve is going to come if he doesn’t stop.

_I want to wait for him._

“Baby, you have to stop, I don’t want to come yet”, Steve informs soothing back Bucky’s hair, the brunet pulls away looking puzzled, “come here”, Steve says tilting his body forward to hook his arms under Bucky’s armpits and lifts him up, he wraps one arm around Bucky’s waist and carries him completely off the floor, Bucky catches immediately what’s going on and he wraps his legs around Steve’s waist and his arms around his neck.

Bucky is kissing him passionately and he can taste himself on Bucky’s mouth and it feels so hot, then he kisses the side of his neck, “where are you taking me?” Bucky asks.

“Bed”, Steve points up with his free hand.

The task is difficult, it’s not for the fact that he has to climb some stairs or that he’s carrying Bucky, _I can do that only with one hand_ , it’s the fact that his hard cock is rubbing against Bucky’s ass as he walks, and he’s suddenly glad that the brunet is still wearing boxers.

When he manages to open his bedroom door, he goes straight to the bed and lowers Bucky down in the middle of it, Steve crawls into bed right on top of Bucky and situates himself in between Bucky’s legs, Steve slides a hand down to touch Bucky’s forgotten penis.

“I bet it hurts now, right?” Steve teases.

“Yes”, Bucky cries out nodding.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you”, Steve closes the distance between them crashing their mouth together for a sloppy and needy kiss before he kisses his way down on Bucky chest, licking at the nipple piercings again.

_I’ll never get tired of this._

He locates himself between Bucky’s open legs, kneeling, resting his buttocks on his heels and pulls at Bucky’s underwear finally freeing the brunet’s dick that’s dripping wet with pre-come, and Steve has to lick his lips because as he predicted, _Bucky’s dick is gorgeous._

Steve licks the palm of his hand and starts pulling Bucky’s cock as he twists his wrist; he lowers himself, his belly down on the bed and hooks his arms around Bucky’s thighs, he has his legs folded and the plant of his feet resting on the bed, Steve’s mouth is now closer to Bucky’s shaft.

***

Bucky puts a few pillows under his head to have a clear view of what Steve is doing, he doesn’t want to miss out on anything, _or I’ll try not to._

“Just sit back and watch”, Steve smirks teasingly.

Steve is sucking at the head of his dick and it feels glorious, he opens his mouth wide and begins to take inside all of Bucky’s dick, he starts moving his head up and down slowly at first, then faster and Bucky has his left hand fisted at the edge of the bed and the other one in Steve’s hair, he begins to thrust a little into Steve’s mouth before the blond locates his hands on Bucky’s hipbones pinning him in place.

He’s swallowing Bucky’s entire cock inside his mouth, the tip of his nose brushing the groomed hairs on the base of Bucky’s dick and _oh fuck, he was made for this, ladies and gentlemen, Steve Rogers was made to suck dick._

Steve wasn’t even using his hands until now, he pulls away leaving Bucky’s painful erection wet with saliva, then he’s pumping it with his hand while he sucks Bucky’s sensitive scrotum, and arches his back in response, his toes curling against the soft fabric of the sheets, breaking the silence of the room as he moans nonsense out loud, his hands grabbing at whatever he can hold on to, he lifts his arms over his head and holds onto the headboard behind him.

The blond goes back to suck down on his dick, his pace faster this time, rubbing Bucky’s stomach and lower abdomen, and Bucky knows he wont last longer, his dick is about to burst.

_Does he even have a gag reflex or what? I bet he doesn’t._

“Steve- Steve, I’m gonna, I’m going to…- ” Bucky says between moans.

Steve sits on his heels again, between Bucky’s legs and starts pumping at both of their hard rock erections, the friction in Steve’s calloused hand and their erection rubbing together is driving Bucky insane and he can’t hold it anymore.

“Steve, oh shit, don’t stop”, Bucky cries out as he begs, his hands squeezing Steve’s strong biceps before he hooks his harms under Steve’s armpits and digs his nails on Steve’s soft back.

“Bucky, I’m right there with you, baby”, the man whispers, “I’ve got you”, Steve assures, his voice agitated with lust.

“Shit, I- I…” Bucky moans even more.

“Come on, Buck”, Steve says before he tilts forward to plant kisses on Bucky’s chest.

Bucky feels his balls tighten and he closes his eyes, he wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and shouts into his ear, the blond keeps stroking their cocks fast and tight, he comes all over Steve’s hands and his own belly, seconds later Steve follows breathing loud through his nose making little noises on the back of his throat as he comes on top of Bucky’s abdomen too.

Steve collapses next to him, they stay like that for a few minutes trying to even out their breaths, _because, goddamn it, it was fucking amazing._ Bucky finally opens his eyes and blinks a few times until he stops seeing white spots, then he feels his weight being shifted to the side, he turns his head to the right to see Steve is standing up.

***

“Where are you going?” Bucky wonders.

“Bathroom”, Steve answers smiling pointing at the door.

Steve goes to the bathroom for a wet towel to clean up their mess and to fill some glasses of water, he’s walking slow because his knees are a little weak after what just happened, Steve came on top of Bucky.

_I haven’t come that hard in I don’t know how long._

He stares at his reflection on the big bathroom mirror, he’s completely naked but for some reason he doesn’t feel exposed, his hair is sticking up in different directions, his lips are swollen and a few bruises are starting to show around his neck, he hums happily.

Steve is the one that normally would leave the marks but this time he didn’t want to go too far with Bucky, but seeing his neck with hickeys and knowing that Bucky left them there makes his heart warm, because there’s nothing in this world that he wants more than Bucky. Steve smiles to himself and goes to join the brunet that is currently on his bed.

_Bucky is on my bed._

“Hey Buck, do you want some…” he says and stops as soon as he comes out of the bathroom.

He has to blink a few times to let the scene in front of him sink in properly, Bucky fell asleep with a peaceful smile on his face, his dick getting flaccid against his tight, his right hand pillowing his head and the left hand resting on his stomach right on top of… _right, I should clean that up._

Steve goes to sit next to Bucky, placing a glass of water on Bucky’s side of the bed, _Bucky’s side_ ; Steve sighs and cleans Bucky’s belly slowly trying not to wake him up. He stands back up and pulls out some pants from the drawer and doesn’t bother with underwear.

The blond goes to take out a few blankets from the spare closet and spreads them on top of Bucky, making sure he’s completely covered before he goes around to his side and jumps into the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin and humming happily, he drifts to sleep with Bucky by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that escalated quickly, didn't it?
> 
> You know I upload new chapters on Mondays and Fridays mostly but since I love Halloween so much, I wanted to give you a little treat, I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think :D
> 
> And as always, thank you so much for keeping up with the story and for all your nice words :)
> 
> Enjoy your weekend <3


	34. Chapter 34

It’s still a bit dark, the sun rising on the horizon, it’s around six thirty in the morning when Bucky wakes up, feeling his body relaxed, his limbs are like jelly and a weird peaceful sensation on the back of his mind, and then everything that happened the night before hits him hard like a sack of bricks falling on top of his head.

He opens his eyes wide and blinks a few times, taking in his surrounding: a bed that isn’t his, blankets that aren’t his, a closet with clothes that aren’t his, a room that isn’t his in a house that isn’t his.

Bucky is resting on his back, he looks down at the tattooed arm resting on top his belly, the letters ‘BROO’ on the knuckles, the ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ tattoo on the fore arm, Bucky’s eyes run across the artwork on the arm, the ‘Death Before Dishonor’ banner, _the Patriotic Spirit as Darcy refers to it_ , then his gaze stops as soon as his eyes met Steve’s face resting peacefully next to him.

_It happened, I wasn’t dreaming, the laughs and jokes, the party at Stark’s, the dancing, the ride on Steve’s motorcycle, the kissing, biting and sucking and oh shit._

Steve is lying on his belly, his head to the side facing Bucky, his mouth slightly open against the mattress, drooling a little onto the fabric of the bed sheets, his hair messy and his arm carefully positioned on Bucky’s naked torso. Bucky stays there for a few minutes staring at Steve, then the blond hums a little and shifts so he’s now resting on his left side but his right arm doesn’t move from Bucky’s belly.

Then, Bucky freezes in place, he’s looking down at Steve’s neck and chest, all the bruises and scratches contrasting with the blonde’s pale skin, the colors on his chest piece a few shades different from the hickeys he left there, _fuck._

He slips out of the bed, carefully trying not to disturb the man resting next to him, feeling cold all off a sudden, _right, I’m naked_. He goes to look around for his forgotten boxers and finds them lying on the floor next to the bed, he puts them on and stares at Steve again.

Bucky takes a look around the room, _I’ve never been here before_. Steve’s room has a vintage vibe going on, it’s cozy, comfy and peaceful, _just like him._ The walls are painted in a light blue, dark hardwood flooring, the furniture is all wood too with funny fabric prints, none of them match, like he bought them at a thrift or second hand store. Nightstands on each side of the bed, a small table positioned on the corner, bookshelves with random stuff on them: figurines, some toys, magazines, books, and another small record player.

He sighs at the view and walks to the night stand on his side, _his side_ , takes a long sip of the glass of water there, as he rests the glass back on the table he stares at Steve again who’s still sleeping deeply, then he looks to the other nightstand that has a few photo frames on top, he shifts around the bed carefully to take a closer look.

Bucky grabs one of the frames with his hand and it’s that _damn photo, the one that Peter took,_ where Bucky is helping Steve with the bandages, the blond looking down at their hands and Bucky looking stupidly happy at Steve’s face.

He has a clear view to Steve’s back from where he’s standing now, the blankets falling gracefully over the curve of the blonde’s lower back, the muscles on Steve’s back prominent against the ink of his tattoos, and Bucky feels bad when he sees he left more scratches on Steve’s back too.

Bucky feels guilty at the sight, Steve didn’t say anything the night before about him leaving marks on his skin but, _what if he gets mad? Brock always got mad._ The brunet takes another look at the photo on his hands and then positions the frame back in place trying not to make any noise.

_I fell asleep, what if I wasn’t suppose to do that either?_

_Brock always got mad._

The brunet gets closer to the bed and sits there for a few seconds, passing his right hand gently thought Steve’s hair, the blond hums a little, still deeply asleep and Bucky sighs to himself.

_He’s too good for you, Brock is right._

_Leave, leave, leave._

Bucky stands up quickly, he remembers he was wearing a costume the night before and he doesn’t want to look like a vampire in broad daylight, he goes over to Steve’s closet and pulls out the first black hoodie he sees, not bothering to look at the print on it or anything, he gets to the door, takes one last look back at Steve and leaves.

He picks up his clothes and Steve’s from the living room floor, he folds Steve’s and puts them on the couch, then Captain comes into the living room from inside the kitchen and Bucky kneels in front of him.

“Hey buddy, I have to go, take care of him for me, okay?” Bucky says scratching the back of his ears and Captain starts licking his face.

Bucky stands back up and goes to the door, as he’s about to open, Captain starts barking loudly, “hey be quiet, or you’ll wake him up”, the brunet demands and Captain stays quiet, like he understands what’s going on. _I swear, this dog is actually Steve._ Captain whines wiggling his tail.

“Dude, don’t make this anymore difficult”, Bucky pleads. _This is a conspiracy_. He opens the door and closes it behind him as quick as possible, leaving Captain scratching his nails against the front door.

***

Steve is waking up at the sound of his alarm letting him know it’s eight o’clock, _already?_

His eyes still closed, he stretches his arms on the top of his head, Steve starts to drag the left arm to the side, his fingertips feeling the coldness of the fabric, Bucky isn’t there anymore, _Bucky_. Steve sighs and opens his eyes, turning his head to the left to stare at the loneliness of his room. He rubs his temples with his right hand, the left one still stretched out onto the mattress; _maybe he just went to the bathroom._

Steve stands up and turns off his alarm, he walks towards the bathroom and notices the door is open, he takes a peek inside, “Bucky?” He whispers.

_No Bucky._

He goes downstairs straight to the kitchen, “Bucky”, he asks again.

_No Bucky._

He walks into the living room, “Hey Cap, where’s Bucky?” He questions his four legged friend who’s resting on his belly near the door, his head against the cold floor, wiggling his tail a little looking up at Steve with sadness on his eyes.

_No Bucky._

He kneels next to his dog to try and cheer him up a little, it seems to be working, but then there’s a loud knocking on the door and Captain stands up quickly and barks at the sound, he looks excited again, Steve goes there to open, _maybe he came back._

“Hey Buck, I…-”, Steve stop when he opens the door completely.

_No Bucky._

As soon as Captain realizes it isn’t Bucky, he trots back to his bed and chews down on one of his toys. Steve tilts his head to the side when he notices the person standing on his front door.

_Peggy?_

“I’m going to pretend I’m not offended by the sad look on your face”, Peggy says lifting an eyebrow at him, “Are you expecting someone?” She asks, dragging her tongue in her thick British accent 

Steve steps to the side to let her inside, “No, not really, I just thought…” He says before he notices her staring down at his chest. _Right, I’m not wearing a shirt._

“I’m not even going to ask”, she wiggles a finger at Steve’s general direction before she chuckles, he looks down on himself and realizes what she really was staring at, he has multiple bruises and scratches that he totally forgot about, and he blushes immediately.

“Hi Peggy, how are you?” He asks trying to change the subject, “you should have sent me a message, I’d have prepared the spare room for you”, Steve offers politely.

“Don’t worry about it, Steve, I made a reservation at a hotel not too far from here but my room won’t be ready until 10, and I really need a shower right now, my flight was really stressful”, the woman explains shrugging her shoulders.

“Peggy, you know you can stay here, it’s no problem”, he smiles.

“Steve, it’s fine, I’m just going to go ahead and take a bath, alright?” she waves him off.

“Sure, just let me get you some clean towels, I believe there aren’t any on that bathroom”, Steve says before he stomps upstairs.

As soon as Peggy goes inside the bathroom, he tries to fix some breakfast, he’s feeling sad while he circles the spoon around the mixing bowl, not that he bothers about Peggy being here but if he’s s truly honest, the only person he wants to cook breakfast for right now is Bucky.

_But why did he leave? What did I do now?_

He’s about to pour the mix into the pan when Peggy comes inside the kitchen, she did her makeup already but her hair is sill wrapped around a towel, “you’re not working today?” She asks leaning against the counter next to the stove.

“Yeah, I am”, he nods, “actually, I have to hurry up, I haven’t even showered”, Steve remembers.

“You go ahead, I can make this”, she points at the pan.

“Are you sure? You’re the guest here”, Steve insists.

“C’mon Steve, just go”, she orders.

The blond nods handing her the spatula, “thanks”, he says.

***

Bucky walks around the neighborhood for a while, until he finds a coffee shop open a few blocks away from Steve’s house, he goes inside and orders a black coffee and sits down for a bit. He’s been thinking about the night before, what Steve did, the way he reacted, what he said.

_What the fuck am I doing? He’s nothing like Brock._

The brunet remembers Steve’s gentle touch, how he said he didn’t want to hurt him, that he was going to take care of him and Bucky feels his heart ache because nobody has ever treated him like that before.

_He called me baby, he fucking called me baby and I walked away like the idiot I am._

He stands up and drinks the last sip of coffee, leaves a tip on the table and starts to walk back to Steve’s house hopping that he’s still there, _I don’t know what time he leaves for work._

When he’s finally in front of the house, he sighs deeply running a hand through his hair, he was going to open the door without knocking but he doesn’t want to be rude either, he knocks instead, he’s about to leave because nobody is answering, it takes a few minutes for him to open.

“Steve, I…” he looks up from his hands.

_Wait, this is not Steve._

_This is the right house, isn’t it?_

Suddenly he’s _damn_ glad that he didn’t open the door without knocking, a petite brunette girl with an impressive shade of red lipstick on her lips opens it, her hair is up in a messy bun on the top of her head, a few curls falling around framing her face, she’s wearing black leggings and a lose ‘INTEGRITY’ t-shirt, _that is probably Steve’s_. She’s beautiful, Bucky isn’t going to lie, and then he realizes that he’s staring.

_Who the hell is this?_

“Hello?” she says, letting her British accent show.

“Hey Peggs, who is it?” Steve comes into the room toweling at his wet hair, he’s wearing nothing but some dark wash jeans.

Bucky looks between the girl and Steve, _between Steve and the girl_ , he understands exactly what’s going on, he’s so angry that he wants to storm out of there, wishing he had never come back.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

_He called a girl after I left?_

_Maybe he’s not so different after all._

“Hey”, Steve whispers walking closer to the door, the girl just walks away back into the kitchen.

Bucky has to swallow a big lump of saliva because Steve looks so hot, a few drops of water falling down his chest, the bruises more dark and prominent that they were two hours ago.

“Do you want to come in? We were making some breakfast”, Steve offers with a smile.

“No”, Bucky answers plainly.

_I don’t want your leftovers._

“Okay”, Steve looks down to his bare feet with a frown on his face.

“I came back because I though I forgot my phone”, Bucky lies, “but hey, here it is”, he says with a mocking voice as he pulls it out of his pocket.

“Bucky, I…” he looks up with an unreadable expression on his eyes. _It’s like he’s… hurt?_

“It’s okay, I better go, it seems to me that you have your hands full”, the brunet says pointing at the kitchen.

“Oh, that’s Peggy by the way, she’s…” Steve tries to explain but Bucky doesn’t want to hear it from Steve’s mouth.

“I know who she is”, Bucky nods not letting Steve finish.

_I know enough._

“You do?” Steve sounds surprised.

“I’m gonna go, I have better things to do anyway”, Bucky shrugs casually, more anger in his voice than what he actually intended, he knows it’s a low blow and he shouldn’t have said it, but he’s mad.

_I’m fucking furious actually._

He spent the entire walk to the coffee shop and back here thinking he was the one that did wrong in leaving, telling himself that Steve is different, that they had a great time and they weren’t just fooling around, that this means something. But as usual, he wasn’t enough, Steve called Peggy just after he left.

_He couldn’t have waited at least a fucking day?_

_He’s just like Brock._

Bucky knows this was too good to be true, _we better stay as friends_.

***

What Bucky said hurt; it hurt so fucking much _, why would he say something like that?_

Bucky came back, and Steve was surprised to see him, but then he invited him to come inside and he simply said no, and for some reason he was angry, Steve didn’t know what’s going on and Bucky made that stupid excuse about forgetting his phone.

Then, he tried to explain that Peggy just got here from London but Bucky didn’t even let him talk, and his anger just grew. Steve felt so lost, he wanted to ask what’s wrong but he can’t even start to form a sentence.

He doesn’t understand what happened, why Bucky left in the first place, and then when he came back, he made him feel even worse but Steve isn’t sure what he did wrong to make him so mad.

He told himself previously he wasn’t going to push Bucky anymore into telling him what’s going on, because for some reason, the brunet never wants to explain anything and that makes Steve feels so frustrated, he had this amazing night with Bucky and now he probably doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore, and it feels so weird.

 _I didn’t want this to be just one nightstand thing, I’ve never done that before and I certainly didn’t want to do it with him._ _But maybe he wasn’t even interested from the beginning and I just misunderstood._

Bucky is in the edge of the sidewalk and Steve walks outside barefoot after him.

“Wait, Bucky, I…” Steve starts but he doesn’t even know what he wants to say, Bucky doesn’t say anything either, he just stops with his back to Steve.

_Say something Steve, anything!_

No words come out, he just wants to cry, he’s so cold standing outside with just jeans on, his arms wrapped around his torso, trembling and shaking, Steve is sure he’s going to catch a cold.

“Later, Steve”, Bucky says not even looking back at him as he starts to walk again. Steve stands there for a few seconds, feeling more naked than ever, he runs back inside and leans against the door, bumping his head backwards as he closes it.

_Brilliant!_

_What a good conversation, Steve._

_You should have a talk show._

“Was that him?” Peggy asks holding a plate with a mountain of pancakes.

“What?” He asks trying to sound casual.

“Who is he?” The girl wonders pointing at the chair in front of her as she takes a seat. He walks over the dinning table and sits down, resting his chin on the heels of his hands.

“He’s…he’s a friend, I guess”, Steve answers sadly.

_Isn’t he?_

“Just a friend? That’s weird”, Peggy says before shoving a piece of pancake into her mouth, “as I recall, you never have sex with someone you’re not in a relationship with”, she adds after she swallows the food.

“You’re not wrong”, Steve sighs loudly.

“Aren’t you going to have breakfast?” She points at the untouched pancakes on Steve’s plate.

“I’m not even hungry anymore”, he sighs deeply.

“Well, this just keeps getting weirder”, she points at him with her fork, she stares at him lifting an eyebrow for a few seconds before, “wait a second…” she opens her eyes wide.

“What?” he asks feeling curious.

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”, Peggy smiles wide, “he’s just your friend but you want him to be more than that but you don’t know how to tell him!” She exclaims in excitement.

_Women, how do they do that?_

“It’s that obvious?” Steve rests his right cheek on his fist, his elbow propped on the table, she just nods chewing more food.

Steve goes upstairs to get ready for work after eating a bit of breakfast, he’s looking on the closet for his A.F.I. hoodie, _because I need good luck today_ , but he can’t find it anywhere, he’s thinking about the last time he wore it but he can’t remember.

_Wait a second… was Bucky wearing my hoodie?_

“Aaaagghhhh!” he exclaims out loud hiding his head under the clothes hanging in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I love Halloween and I gave you a treat on Sunday, now it was time for the trick.
> 
> You want angst, I give you angst.
> 
> P.S. Don't kill me, I love you!
> 
> <3


	35. Chapter 35

It’s Tuesday afternoon, _four o’clock to be exact_ , and Steve has been working non-stop since ten thirty in the morning, he’s glad he‘s been having a lot of work lately, since Darcy uploaded their webpage with the photos that Peter took it’s been crazy, a lot of people reacted well to the campaign, they’ve left a few comments on the page, lots of calls asking for him, he’s now probably booked until the end of the year.

He wouldn’t have imagined something like this happening to him, _not in a million years_ , even his doctor called to say something about an ad on a bus, Steve is glad he hasn’t seen those, _so damn glad._

Darcy still insists to do some prints of the photos to put them on the walls of the shop, he’s not so sure about that, _I just think it’s a little egotistical to have photos of me in my own shop._

It’s been three days since what happened with Bucky that morning and he has received a few texts from him saying random things, like he’s trying to do some casual conversation but they normally end up being awkward.

He’s glad that the hickeys on his neck are finally starting to fade away because Darcy teases the hell out of him for them; Thor even asked if a vampire attacked him, Loki just raised his eyebrows at him; but at the same time he’s sad because it’s something that Bucky left there and if he could have them all the time, he would.

He stands up to stretching his back when he gets a text message.

 **Bucky:** You in for a coffee today?

 **Steve:** Sure, what time?

 **Bucky:** 8, the one around the cinema.

 **Steve:** Ok, I’ll be there.

_See what I mean? It just feels weird, it feels wrong._

_Maybe I’m just going crazy._

***

_I need to see him; I have to make clear that we are friends, and just friends._

_Even if it breaks my fucking heart._

Bucky just sent a text to Steve asking him to meet for coffee, he wants to talk to him, the brunet doesn’t want this to get any more awkward between them and they can go back the way it was before they kissed and everything, _before it’s too late._

He’s concentrating, working on some manuals when someone comes knocking at his door, w _hich is weird because it’s not even closed_ , he looks up to see Pepper standing by the doorframe.

“Hi Pepper, come on in”, he says standing up.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything”, she says with a smirk.

“Not at all, I could use a break anyway, take a seat”, he points to the chairs in front of him after greeting her with a kiss on the cheek.

“How are you, Bucky?” She asks sitting down, he sits down as well.

“I’m good, how about you? What brings you to my cave?” Bucky jokes and the blonde woman chuckles a little.

“Well, we are having some actions for charity at the end of the year, art pieces mostly, and I’m going to ask Steve if he’s willing to participate, do you think he’d be interested?” She wonders.

“Umm, yeah, probably”, Bucky shrugs, “as soon as you tell him it’s for charity he’ll do it for sure”, he nods.

_That’s the way Steve is._

“I’m glad to hear that, I just wanted to hear your opinion about it, you know, since you two are together,” Pepper smiles a little.

“Oh, no, we’re not together-together like that”, Bucky shakes his head.

_I have to stop kidding myself._

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume anything”, she apologizes.

“It’s okay, we’re friends”, he says back.

“Yeah, I guess that’s why you look so close, I saw you guys at the party and…” she frowns her lips, “have you talked to him?” she asks.

“I’m sorry?” Bucky questions in confusion, not exactly sure of what Pepper is trying to say.

“About your feelings for him”, she explains.

“I-I don’t…” He shakes his head.

“Listen, I know this is none of my business but the best way to lift the weight on your shoulders is talking about it”, she says smiling a little.

_Tony doesn’t deserve this woman._

“Yeah, I suppose”, he says sadly looking down at his hands on the desk.

“I better get going, I’ll leave so you can get back to work”, she stands up and runs her hands soothing the wrinkles of her blouse before looking back up, “if you need anything, just call”, she points at the phone on his desk.

“Okay”, he nods staring as the girl walks towards the door, “and Pepper…” Bucky adds.

“Yes?” She looks back at him over her shoulder.

“Thank you”, he grins and she smiles back at him with a nod.

_I can’t do that, I can’t just tell him and be rejected all over again._

***

“Are you going to be staying late again?” Darcy asks.

“Noup”, he shakes his head not even looking at her, “I just have something to do at eight and I don’t see the case in going back home at the moment”, Steve says.

“Are you going to see your boyyyfrieeenddd”, she teases.

“I don’t have a boyfriend Darcy”, Steve clears, still not looking up from his sketchbook.

“Yeah right, what about Bucky?” she insists.

“What about him?” he asks trying to sound uninterested.

_He doesn’t want me._

“Well, I thought you didn’t like to get involved with someone unless it’s something serious, it’s weird”, Darcy explains, he just chuckles bitterly, “what’s so funny?” she wonders.

“That’s exactly what Peggy said, that it’s weird”, Steve comments.

“Peggy, when did you talk to her?” Darcy asks surprised.

“Saturday, she stopped by my house, she came to meet up with some friends she made back in the day when she was here or something like that”, he says putting the pencil away.

“I see”, she frowns looking thoughtful, “anyway, I better get going, I’ll see you tomorrow”, the brunette waves walking away.

“Thanks Darcy, take care”, Steve says back.

Steve is trying hard to concentrate on a sketch for a new tattoo he wants to get, but as soon as the tip of the pencil touches the soft white paper his mind betrayed him; the curve of soft thin lips with a piercing ring, strong jaw and chin, cute and small chiseled nose, lazy blue eyes, brown strands of hair falling on a wrinkled forehead.

“Agghh”, he huffs and closes the sketchbook abruptly.

_I fucking can’t with this._

He checks his phone to see the time, he still has a few minutes but he figures he should get going, he can wait for Bucky at the café, he needs to clear his mind anyway.

***

When Bucky gets to the café Steve is sitting on their regular table, the blond is looking down at the table drawing something in a napkin, then he must have heard Bucky walking towards him because when he looks up he crushes the napkin and puts it inside his pocket.

Steve is wearing his regular jeans, black Vans, a blue V-neck sweater, it will normally make his eyes brighter but not this time, he just has huge dark circles under his eyes, he even looks paler, he’s also wearing a black wool coat on top of that, his hair neatly done, parted to the side. As soon as Steve looks up to meet Bucky’s eyes, he offers him a small but sad smile before he looks back at the coffee cup in front of him.

“Hey”, Bucky says taking a seat in front of Steve.

“Hi”, he whispers, and then frowns his lips into a thin line.

_I don’t like this, why does he look so miserable?_

“How are you?” Bucky asks.

“I’m okay, you?” Steve shrugs his shoulder. _Lie._

“I’m fine”, the brunet nods, “have you been sleeping well? You look a little tired”, Bucky comments.

“Yeah, it’s nothing, just lots of work”, he says. _Lie._

“Okay, have you been working extra hours?” Bucky asks. _Maybe that’s just it._

“No, just the usual”, Steve answers plainly. _Lie._

This is so awkward, Bucky has never had a problem talking to Steve before, he always knew what to say and Steve always answered cheerfully, but not on this occasion and Bucky doesn’t know why.

_Maybe he had a bad day, maybe Peggy left already, maybe he just doesn’t want to see me anymore._

Bucky stares at Steve for a moment, who’s fiddling with another napkin shredding it into small pieces, his long calloused finders moving uncomfortably, the hickeys on Steve’s neck are still visible and Bucky feels his stomach twist, that soft, sensitive and pale skin was marked by him, and Steve has to remember that night every time he looks at himself in he mirror.

“I’m sorry about those”, Bucky points at Steve’s neck.

“It’s okay”, Steve says.

“Did Darcy tease you about them?” he questions trying to start some conversation.

“A little”, the blond shrugs.

Bucky is completely lost here, he doesn’t know what to do or say, he can’t place what’s wrong and Steve isn’t saying anything either, _maybe this was a bad idea._

“I bet”, he smiles a little, “I’m gonna go order something, do you want something else?” Bucky offers.

“No, thank you, I’m covered”, he lifts the coffee cup he’s holding, Bucky nods standing up to go over to the counter.

***

Steve really doesn’t want to make this situation more awkward but seeing Bucky again makes it so difficult, he’s not sure what’s the problem with Bucky, they had such a good time that day, then he left and came back, got mad for some reason and said he had better things to do.

The blond wants to save what they have, _but that’s the problem, I don’t even know what this is,_ Steve wonders if they still can be friends in case that Bucky doesn’t want to get involved with him in that way. Bucky is coming back with a cup of coffee and a plate of cookies, he sits down slowly and takes a sip of his drink, holding the cup with both hands.

“Bucky”, Steve whispers, his voice sounds so weak and for a minute he thinks the brunet didn’t hear him.

“What is it, pal?” He questions lowering his cup. _Okay, he did hear me._

“Are we okay?” Steve asks.

“Sure, why wouldn’t we?” Bucky says.

“I don’t know, it’s just…” he starts, he clears his throat before continuing, “that day you left in the morning and when you came back you got mad and I don’t know why”, Steve shakes his head.

“Listen Steve, this is actually why I asked you to meet me here, I wanted to talk to you about this”, Bucky explains.

“Oh, okay”, Steve nods. _Good, because I want to hear it._

“I’m not mad at you or anything, you’re my friend, and I want us to keep being friends if you’d like to…” the brunet says.

“Of course I want to be your friend Buck, but I though…” Steve is trying to get somewhere with his words but Bucky interrupts him.

“Steve, just let me finish, I really need you to hear this”, Bucky insists.

_I though we were more than friends, I though we had something._

“I just wish we could go back to the way we were”, Bucky looks down at his cup of coffee, _go back to when exactly?_ Steve wants to say something but Bucky asked him lo let him finish, he swallows his words and waits for Bucky to continue.

“Friday night was a mistake, okay? It shouldn’t have happened”, Bucky shakes his head and sighs, “can’t it just be the way it used to, before Friday, before Coney Island?” the brunet wonders, “I really like having you around, that’s why I want us to keep being friends, but if you’re not okay with that, it’s fine”, the guy shrugs.

“Bucky, I, I…” Steve starts, he has to take a few seconds to swallow the lump of saliva forming in his throat.

_A mistake?_

_A mistake._

_Really?_

“I want us to be friends too, I don’t want to lose you”, Steve tries to smile.

_How can I lose something that I never had?_

“Okay, I’m glad we have that cleared up”, Bucky nods.

Steve is lying, _big fat and ugly lie_ , he’s wrong when he says he wants to be friends with Bucky, he wants to be more than that, but now Bucky is saying everything they did was a mistake, so now it’s impossible. But now that Bucky has made that clear, he will stop trying to do anything about it and just forget what happened.

_Who was I kidding? How can Bucky want someone like me? He obviously can do better._

_If the only way I can be around him is being friends, I’ll take it._

_I don’t care if we’re not together, I just want him to be happy, and it doesn’t matter if it’s not with me._

“Hey, have you seen the campaign for the Red Room?” Bucky asks, Steve knows what the man is doing, he wants to change the subject.

_I might just go along with it before I start crying._

“I’ve seen a few promos online and stuff, but nothing big”, Steve says back.

“I haven’t seen much either but Natasha told me it’s going pretty well, that the subscriptions have almost double this month”, Bucky informs.

“Really? That’s crazy, I’m glad it worked then”, Steve nods before taking a sip of his coffee, hoping that the cup was big enough for him to hide behind it.

***

“Yeah, Natasha is really pleased with the outcome”, Bucky informs.

They talk for a few more minutes, about nothing really, Bucky asks random stuff that come to mind, he really tries not to make this anymore difficult than it already is, Steve says he wants to be friends and that’s okay, that’s what Bucky is asking after all, he doesn’t have to worry about it anymore now that they’re on the same page.

He doesn’t want to go through another sucky relationship. Bucky has problems being close to people because he always tends to trust the wrong person. He really thought that Steve was different, but after seeing him with Peggy that morning, _I’m sure as hell am not going through that again_ , he tells himself he’s going to back off now that he has the opportunity, and save this friendship, _for the sake of my stupid heart._

It’s going to be hell, seeing Steve no more than a friend, _it’s torture I know, but I have to do it, he’s a nice guy, just not the guy for me._

They stay at the café for a while, Steve starts to sound more like himself but he still looks uncomfortable, Bucky doesn’t ask why, they just keep talking nonsense until Bucky starts feeling tired, and he notices Steve is yawning a lot.

“I think we should get going, we have work tomorrow and stuff”, Bucky shrugs.

“Yeah, you’re right”, Steve nods standing up.

They both shift to the door, Steve normally walks him to his bike, but not this time, he just moves in the direction of his motorcycle. Bucky feels colder than other days, the weather of early November days going through his bones, he wraps his arm around his frame tightly.

“I’ll talk to you later, yeah? Bucky says.

“Okay”, Steve says over his shoulder but doesn’t look back.

The blond always waited until Bucky left, but tonight is different, he just unlocks his helmet from the back of his bike, he pulls his keys from his coat pocket, hops into the bike and leaves.

Bucky is next to his own bike, staring back at him the whole time, he noticed that when Steve pulled out his keys something fell to the floor, he goes over there to see what it is. He kneels down to retrieve the piece of paper, Bucky remembers when he got to the café Steve was drawing something on a napkin.

The brunet unfolds the napkin and stares at the piece of paper on his hands, he’s surprised when he sees the drawing, his eyes wide, eyebrows almost touching his hairline, mouth slightly open. It’s a drawing of him, he has a smirk on his face, a few strands of hair falling into his forehead, his head tilted do the side a little; it’s a beautiful drawing, it has so much detail and life that Bucky feels like crying. He folds the piece of paper and saves it on his wallet before hopping on his bike to head home.

_What the fuck are you doing, Bucky?_

_Who are you kidding? You love this man._


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Violence and Homophobic Language ahead.
> 
> If you don't want to read it I totally understand, maybe I can give you an overall explanation of what happens if you decide to skip it, just sent me a message and I'll be happy to answer (:

Steve just got home from work and he feels exhausted, it’s Friday night and he’s been working extra hours at the shop to keep his mind occupied, Bucky and him have been texting each other almost everyday, keeping the conversations pretty casual, trying not to touch personal subjects, _it’s not bad but it’s sad._

The blond goes to his room to change into his running clothes, he’s thinking about taking Captain with him until he remembers that Miles asked if he could stay late that evening.

_I guess it’s just me then._

As soon as he comes down, he goes straight to the kitchen to grab a water bottle from the fridge, he realizes he forgot to buy the milk on his way back home so he figures he can pick some after he’s done with his exercise of the night.

He puts on a hoodie, checks for his keys, phone and earphones in his pocket, closes the door and starts walking into the night.

***

“You in for a drink tonight? All the guys are going”, Dum Dum asks over the phone.

Bucky just got home from a long day at the Stark Tower, he was planning on drinking at home today but Dum Dum’s invite sounds more tempting, “where are you guys going?” Bucky asks.

“We haven’t decided yet”, Dum Dum answers.

“I’ll go if we go to somewhere but SHIELD or HYDRA”, Bucky says.

_I don’t feel like seeing anyone tonight._

“Ok, we’ll go to that pub you like with one condition”, his friend hums.

“And what’s that?” Bucky wonders.

“You have to open a tab for us”, Dum Dum comments.

“Sure”, Bucky answers plainly.

“Well, that was easy”, the redhead says.

“Do we have a designated driver?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah, Monty, why?” Dum Dum questions.

“Good, cause’ I’m getting trashed tonight”, Bucky chuckles.

***

Steve starts running with a slow pace, just some sprinting after he warms up and stretches properly, his pace starts to change as he feels the muscles on his legs to burn a bit, his face hurts with the cold but he doesn’t mind, he needs this.

It feels good every time he exercises, his body cooperates with him, making him more comfortable in his own skin, he starts to speed up as his chest grows faster in and out, but he keeps his respiration under control, he knows his limits, but pushing himself a little around the edges of that limit makes him feel like he can do anything.

His legs moving at the rhythm of the music, arms and legs in sync going forward, eyes and chin up front, his hair sticking to his forehead, drops of sweat running down his face into his neck, his body flushed and hot, blood circulating through his body, his heart beating fast on his ribcage.

He runs, and runs, and runs, _for I don’t even know how long._

When he feels satisfied with his workout he starts to slow down right away, causing his muscles to contract back into place, he remembers about the milk and begins walking in the direction of the market, his breathing gradually calming down.

He arrives at the commercial zone outside the residential area and passes outside a bar that looks pretty packed, it’s a Friday night after all, on the side of the bar is a dark alleyway with dumpsters and garbage bags around _, just like in a movie,_ this is the same bar where he found Monty a couple of months ago, Steve’s walking by the street when he hears some agitated voices coming from the alley, he walks in that direction to see what all the fuss is about, as the view clears a bit, he notices two dark figures, one smaller than the other.

“Where the hell is my money, kid?” a groggy voice says, the larger figure pushes the other against the wall, Steve starts to walk faster towards them.

“Is there a problem here?” Steve asks getting closer, when he has a clearer view of who it is he huffs, “oh, it’s you”, he says.

“Beat it kid”, Rumlow orders the younger boy.

_He’s probably around 15 years old, what is he doing with a guy like Brock?_

Steve turns around to leave immediately, he hasn’t seen Brock in a long time, _and this is definitely not a good time_ , he just wants to walk away from him but Brock puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing a little to draw Steve’s attention.

“What do you want, man?” Steve asks annoyed.

“I haven’t seen you in a while”, Brock smirks.

“That’s because I’ve been avoiding you”, he informs.

“Oh c’mon, Steve, why do you have to be like that?” Brock asks in a jesting voice.

“Cut the shit, be real with me, Rumlow”, the blond demands, “you know well why”, Steve points at him, “now if you excuse me, I better get going”, he adds quickly turning around.

“Hey, don’t leave me hanging here!” Brock says, Steve waves a hand over his shoulder in dismissal, not turning around to face him.

He takes a few steps, he wants to get out of there before he does something he’ll regret. Steve’s starting to get really angry, he’s getting cold too, his clothes are sticking uncomfortably to his body from all the sweat after his run, he wishes to get home soon, have a hot shower and forget he saw Brock at all.

“Did I leave him too lose for your liking? That’s why you’re mad?” Brock yells behind him.

_Oh no, he did not fucking say that._

Steve stops dead on his tracks, not turning around, hoping that what just came out from Brock’s mouth is something he imagined, he has enough reasons to kick the guy’s teeth in down his throat already, _I don’t need any more reasons._

“I left him all prepped up for you, didn’t I?” Brock’s voice comes in closer.

Steve is now huffing through his nose, his hands fisted on his sides, his knuckles white and his nails digging in his palms, he can feel the marks that are starting to form, the blond knows that if he keeps pressing down he’s going to start bleeding.

“I’m fucking talking to you, don’t act like you haven’t been enjoying that sweet ass”, Brock sounds pissed now, not more than Steve, he shoves him from behind his shoulder, causing Steve to stumble a step forward, he finally turns to face Brock who has a wicked grin across his face.

_Is this guy for real?_

***

Bucky and the rest of the Howling Commandos go to the pub he likes, far away from where they normally hang around, the place is a little crowded but luckily they find a table by the back of the bar, the place is nice and dark, some rock & roll-ish music playing on the background, not too soft for them to get bored but not too loud that they’ll have to scream to hear each other talking.

They’ve been here for more than an hour now, and he’s not drunk yet, _not even close_ , he starts with something light, just a few beers and some nachos, _with extra sour cream, thank you very much._ He feels happy that he agreed on going out today with his friends, he needs to change his routine a bit, _and I need to think about something else that isn’t Steve._

“Guys, listen up, I got a call from Luke the other night, he said that the Thunderbolts are going out on a mini-tour in about two weeks, they invited another local band to go along with them but their drummer wasn’t going to be able to make it so he asked me if we would like to join them”, Dum Dum explains, cleaning away with the back of his hand the beer foam from his moustache.

_I definitely need to breath different air._

“Sounds rather fun, for how long is this tour?” Monty asks over his glass of whiskey.

“I believe they leave on the 17th and they come back the 23rd, right before Thanksgiving weekend, it’s just going to be Upper East Side”, Dum Dum informs.

“I’m in”, Gabe shrugs.

“What about you Dum Dum?” Bucky asks.

“Hell, I’ve always wanted to go on tour, even as a roadie”, Dum Dum assures nodding.

“Well, it’s settled then, we’re going on our first tour”, Bucky smiles, a real smile, he feels like he hasn’t smiled like this in a long time.

_I’m actually pretty excited about this._

“Sweet, I’m gonna go ahead and give him a call to inform him we’re in”, Dum Dum says standing up from his chair.

They begin to talk a little about the cities that they’re going to be playing, wondering about the response they’re going to get from people, the other local bands that are going to share the stage with, how the scenes in other cities are, everything is really exciting and new.

_Heck yes!_

Bucky feels good, like himself again, not that he hasn’t been himself or anything but he thinks this whole situation with Steve has taken a good piece of him and needs to fix that, he has to accept the fact that he can’t be with Steve, he’s here with his friends in a bar, a thing Bucky hasn’t done in a long time.

“Hey fellas, did you hear that Peggy was in town?” Gabe says taking his seat with a plate full of vodka shots on his hand.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

***

“Now, do I have your attention?” Brock asks in a mocking voice.

“What do you want Brock? Whatever you’re doing, just stop”, Steve shakes his head.

“I care about you, you’re my friend”, Brock nods.

“Bullshit, we are not friends, Brock”, Steve says firmly.

The man is closer to him, they’re now standing by a big green dumpster against a brick wall, the alley is dark, smelly, and shady, _pretty damn inconvenient._

“I just wanna know if that pretty whore is treating you well, Bucky I mean”, Brock shrugs casually.

“Don’t call him that”, Steve demands, the anger starting to pile up on the back of his head.

“C’mon, don’t tell me you haven’t been tasting that piece of ass, with a guy like you, I bet he’s pretty well worn by now”, Brock shoves a finger at Steve’s broad chest taking a step forward, Steve takes a step back.

“Shut up!” Steve yells at him. _Or you’ll be sorry._

“Bucky’s always been so eager, he’s probably so stretched by now that you don’t have to prep him anymore, your dick must go in and out smoothly”, Brock says, a devilish grin spreading on his face, he digs his finger at Steve’s chest again, making the blond take another step back.

“Stop, I said shut up!” Steve scowls. _Or this will turn out pretty ugly._

“Steve, you’ve always been so pathetic, people shoving you around and what do you do? Nothing, always the good guy”, Brock pushes Steve back with the palm of his hands against his shoulders.

“You don’t know me Brock”, Steve warns. _You have no idea._

“That’s the problem, you always wear your heart on your sleeve, there’s nothing more to you than this boy scout thing you have going on”, Brock shakes his head and frowns his lips in disappointment.

“Fucking fight me, you pussy!” Brock yells, pushing him one more time.

Steve’s blood is on fire, he feels his brain starting to shout at him, _fight, fight, fight._ The thing about fights, Steve has a habit of starting them when it come to defend someone’s honor, to help the defenseless people against bullies, he will always listen to what they say about him and fight back when he has to.

He knows that if he starts a fight with Brock, the outcome is going to be a nightmare and someone is going to turn out badly hurt. Steve has had a lot of years in training, but he’s well aware that Brock isn’t like the high school bullies he normally fought against back in the day, the guy is also well trained and prepared to pick up a fight, Steve has seen the man send a few guys to the hospital, so Steve wants to prevent a fight at all costs.

_Unless Brock starts it, I’m not going to be able to stop._

When Brock opens his mouth again, that’s when all goes down.

“Well, now that I know you don’t have the balls to do anything, next time I see Bucky, I’m going to shove my dick up his ass so good, and fuck him so hard that he’s not going to be able to sit for a week”, he heaves Steve again, this time harder.

The blond’s chest is burning, he hits the back of his head with the wall behind him, his brain starts to spin inside his skull, “but that’s not all, while I do it, instead of him screaming my name, I’m going to make him scream yours”, Brock says putting his hands around Steve’s neck and squeezes.

Steve blinks a few times to clear his view, he tries to grab a hold of Brock’s forearms to make him lose his grip, and fails.

_This guy is fucking sick._

Brock is chocking him, Steve’s face is an angry shade of red for the lack of oxygen, Steve was trying really hard not to fight Brock, but as soon as those words came out from the guy’s mouth Steve lost it.

One thing is to call him weak and the other is to place a threat on Bucky, it doesn’t matter that Bucky is just his friend, it doesn’t matter that Bucky doesn’t want to be with him, it doesn’t matter if he ends up in the hospital, _because I love him_ , he wants Bucky to be okay, and that is not going to happen if Brock is still around.

_You better stop him, and you better do it now._

Bucky is on the back of his mind, his sweet smile, his deep blue –gray eyes, his soft brown hair, and then Bucky flinching at the mention of Brock’s name, Bucky’s lost stare and hurt eyes, Bucky shaking and worrying.

_Bucky, Bucky, Bucky._

With all the will and power that Steve manages to sum, he’s able to lift his right knee and shove it into Brock’s chest, causing the guy to lose his grip completely, now the two men are gasping for air, Steve supporting his weight against the wall and Brock hunched upwards with his arms around his stomach.

“That didn’t even hurt, you fight worse than a girl, Rogers”, Brock teases as soon as he gets his breath back, but the brunet is obviously fighting to make his voice sound steady.

Steve stands straight and Brock launches a fist at his face, the blond manages to duck right on time, then another three hits and Steve is able to skip the first two, but the last one lands on the right side of his jaw, his lip starts to bleed.

“Good thing to know you’re human after all”, Brock points at Steve’s bloody lip, Steve doesn’t say anything.

The blond starts to fight back, aiming for Brock’s chest, ribs and abdomen, he happens to land one hit, two hits, three hits at Brock stomach, Steve can feel his knuckles starting to bruise as Brock’s ribs crack under his fists, Brock laughs every time.

“C’mon, that’s all you’ve got?” Brock mocks, Steve doesn’t say anything.

He skips a few more blows coming from the brunet, both swinging and moving around each other, that until Steve hits Brock so hard in the cheek that he falls, but the next thing Steve sees is Brock picking up an iron bar that was lying next to the dumpster and launches it at his stomach.

Steve is in so much pain that he lands on his side curling to fight for air, Brock takes advantage of this situation and kicks Steve right in the face, then on his back and abdomen. Steve is twitching in pain, his eyes tightly closed, frowning his forehead.

“I should take a picture of you like this and set it as the wallpaper on my phone, or better yet, I should send it to Bucky and see what he thinks about you now”, Brock spits some blood into the floor right next to Steve’s head.

Just at the sound of Bucky’s name Steve can’t stay still. Trying to ignore the pain inside his chest, he grabs a hold of Brock’s foot and pulls as hard as he can, making the brunet twist on his feet and fall face down into the dirty floor like a heavy sack of flour.

Brock turns around, resting his back against the cold floor, “well that did hurt”, he hisses.

“I can do this all day”, Steve teases him.

Steve stands up when he gathers some strength, resting the heel of his hands against his knees, Brock follows quickly and tries to launch another hit with the iron bar but Steve manages to block it with his elbow, one more, two more, three more hits likes this until Steve can take a hold of the iron bar and tosses it far away across the alley.

His blood is rushing through his body, his head is in pain, his abdomen yells at him and his hands are shaking, the fight goes on for a few more minutes, elbows on their faces, knees on their chests, kicks at their thighs. Brock is a good fighter, he succeeds to hit Steve a few more times, but Steve is better, stronger, and bigger.

_This ends now._

“Steve, I want you to know this isn’t personal”, Brock can barely speak, sounding more like a whimper.

With all the power that Steve has left on his body, he kicks Brock so hard on the side of his body that he flies across to hit the wall beside him and fall into the floor, Steve is so mad at Brock’s words, everything he said about him, about Bucky, _enough is enough._

“It kinda feels personal”, Steve says, proud of how steady his voice sounds.

He walks over to where Brock is laying down, his hands fisted with anger and wrath, he turns the brunet so he’s facing up, gets on top of him with all his body crashing Brock’s chest, and he hits him multiple time in the face, one hit, _for Bucky_ , two hits, _for me_ , three hits, _for Bucky_ , four hits, _for me_.

He punches Brock so hard that Steve is sure that the brunet is about to pass out, he stops as soon as he sees the mess of Brock’s face, his knuckles bloody and bruised, he stand up and ducks down next to the man and checked for a pulse.

_He’ll live._

In another situation, with another person, in different circumstances, Steve would have felt regret or guilt no different from any other bully he has ever come across with, but thinking about Bucky suffering, about all the pain that this man lying in front of him has caused him, all the sleepless nights that Bucky has ever had, the bruises he has made stupid excuses for, the time he kept him away from his friends and family and all the situations that he’s been living with fear. His ma’ always taught him better, to avoid fights at all costs, _but if you pick up a fight Steven, you finish it_ , Steve isn’t proud of this, but he doesn’t regret it either.

“If you ever lay a single hair on Bucky, ever again, I will end you”, Steve says, he’s sure that Brock is listening when he grunts in return, letting out a muffled whine.

Steve stands back up and calls an ambulance, as soon as he hangs up he retrieves his business card from inside the wallet in Brock’s jeans and turns around, Steve puts on the hoodie of his sweatshirt and walks back home.

***

“You’re telling me that Peggy was here and I didn’t see her? My love”, Monty jokes resting a hand on his chest and the other waving at the air. _Shut up._ Shot.

“Are you sure it was her?” Dum Dum asks. _Shut up._

“That’s what I heard”, Gabe shrugs. _Shut up._ Shot.

“It was probably her, she’s one of a kind”, Monty sighs heavily. _Shut up._

“Do you think she was here to see Steve?” Dum Dum wonders. _Shut up._ Shot.

“Well, if she was, what a lucky man”, Monty adds. _Shut up._

“Yeah, what a shame, we probably don’t stand a chance against Steve”, Gabe frowns his lips. _Shut up._ Shot.

“Would you shut the fuck up already?” Bucky yells, waving his arms into the air.

“Easy there tiger”, Dum Dum raises his jar of beer at him before taking a long sip.

“I believe someone is cranky today”, Monty says.

“I know you’re not into women, Bucky”, Gabe comments, “would you prefer us to talk about Steve?” his friend teases.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I would”, Bucky informs before drinking his fifth shot. _Or was it the sixth? Whatever, bottoms up!_

“I beg your pardon?” Monty chokes on his glass of water.

“Are you serious?” Dum Dum asks surprised.

“Aaaaggghh, I like him, okay?” Bucky whines passing a hand through his hair before resting his face on his palms, elbows propped on the table. _I love him actually._

His friends are quiet now, he looks up to see the puzzled expressions on their faces, Monty and Gabe looking back at each other, Dum Dum with a thoughtful look on his face, rubbing his index and thumb at his chin.

“It kinda makes sense, now that you mention it”, Dum Dum hums.

“I’m sorry man, we didn’t know”, Gabe says.

“It’s okay, it’s not like it matters anyway”, Bucky says sadly, supporting his head against his fist.

“Of course it matters, why would you say it doesn’t?” Monty wonders.

“He doesn’t want me”, he yammers, his voice sounds annoying.

_The alcohol is starting to get to me._

“Are you sure?” Gabe questions.

“Yessssssss”, Bucky says, dragging the ‘s’ at the end, he looks down at his hands holding the little shot glass.

“Ok, I need to know about this, but first”, Dum Dum holds his index finger up in the air, “somebody bring this man the whole bottle of vodka, please!” the redhead demands yelling at the direction of the bar.

Bucky tells them how their friendship started as he drinks straight from the bottle of the transparent liquid, a pleasant burning sensation on his throat while the fluid settles on his stomach, and he remembers thinking Steve was friends with Brock at the beginning, _I can’t believed I hated Steve for that._

How their relationship started to grow, how caring and loving Steve is but he’s also really entertaining, funny and charming; when they started to see each other often and how they talked almost every day. When Clint told him that Steve is bisexual and he felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, and then everything started to change.

Bucky drinks until his throat is soar, his head is starting to spin, a fuzzy and warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, he hasn’t drunk this much in a long time, the alcohol goes straight to his brain, and as the good friends they were, they start to tease him.

“Okay, let me get this straight, you have this huge crush on the guy but you haven’t done anything about it?” Dum Dum questions.

“That’s weird coming from you, you never have problems in that area, if you know what I mean”, Gabe laughs before taking a sip of his beer.

“Oh no, we’ve done stuffff”, he drags his tongue as he speaks, “you should see his dick, it’s so cute and hugeeeeee”, Bucky adds, lifting his hands as a reference to point an exaggerated size of Steve’s penis.

_Did I say that out loud?_

_Yes, I’m definitely drunk._

“Oh my god, forget I said something, you drunk ass”, Gabe ducks his head under the table.

“I can’t believe you just referred to Steve’s cock as cute”, Dum Dum chuckles. Bucky blinks a few times staring at him processing the man’s words.

_Dum Dum & Dum Dum, I’m seeing double now, ha!_

_Yes, definitely trashed._

“Because it issssss, ugghhhh, I hate him so much!” Bucky whines resting his head between his crossed arms on top of the table.

“Aww, poor baby”, Monty patted his shoulder, Dum Dum and Gabe laugh.

“I am not a baby!” Bucky burst lifting his head up, “we kinda had sex and I left in the morning before he woke up”, he confesses looking down at his hands.

“Bucky! Why would you do that? That’s rude, you’ve said that to us a hundred times!” Monty reminded him.

“Old habits die hard”, Dum Dum giggles taking a sip of his drink.

“I know!” Bucky yells, “I fucked up, but then I went back and Peggy was there!” He whines as his eyes start to fill with drunken tears.

“So what?” Gabe shrugs.

“He probably had sex with her after I left, he couldn’t even wait a fucking day, because I wasn’t enough!” Bucky cries in tantrum, Dum Dum starts to rub circles on his back.

“Listen, I don’t know what you saw, or what he told you, but the Steve I know wouldn’t have done that”, Dum Dum assures.

“That’s what I thought too, but I was wrong”, Bucky sniffs shaking his head with exaggerated motions making him dizzy.

***

Steve barely makes it back home without falling on his face as he walks in the late night, when he finally manages to open the door and closes it after him, he stumbles with his own feet, launching straight to the fire place leaning against the edge, he pushes a photo frame accidentally, the glass breaks in a thousand tiny pieces when it hits the floor.

“Shit”, he hisses under his breath.

He goes to the kitchen to grab the broom and cleans up the mess; he doesn’t want to put Captain in danger because of his own clumsiness. He picks up as much as he can, fighting against his body that’s starting to fail after the beating he just took, the photo is the one he was with his mother in Central Park, he feels sad when he sees the picture, he puts it back on top of the fire place and makes a mental note to replace the photo frame later on. _Stupid._

When he’s sure that everything is clean, he collapses next to the couch, his legs parted wide, looking down at his bloody hands that rest on his lap, then Captain comes to him silently and sits next to him resting its head on top of Steve’s leg and whines a little, like he understands exactly what just happened.

_I guess Miles brought him back sooner._

“I’ll be okay buddy, don’t worry”, Steve assures scratching the back of its ears.

Steve stays there for a few minutes, resting for a while, when he feels steadier the blond stands up, checks that Captain’s water and food plates are full and goes upstairs to his room.

He takes off all of his sweaty, bloody and dirty clothes and puts them in a bag to toss it out later. He grabs clean underwear from the drawer, pajama pants and a hoodie.

Steve flicks on the lights of the bathroom and feels a huge headache from the brightness of the room; he rubs his eyes and stands in front of the mirror, he opens his eyes slowly and feels horror at the scene in front of him.

He’s normally uncomfortable staring for too long at his reflection in the mirror, but this time he’s doesn’t feel uncomfortable, he feels disgusted and powerless, all the scratches and the bruises, the blood drying against his skin, the swollen and red areas, it reminds him of a young scrawny Steve back in high school and all those days when he came back home with a new pair of bruises, when he wouldn’t be able to stand up and fight back.

One side of his face is slightly swollen, he has dark circles around his eyes but he’s glad that it isn’t so bad that he can still see clearly, his nose isn’t broken but it hurts at the touch a bit, he has a few cuts around his face, on the eyebrow, the cheek and a busted lip. His chest area is the worst, it’s full with nasty bruises, not even close to the loving marks that Bucky had left on him a week ago.

The blond lifts his left arm up and touches the side of his chest for deeper injuries, passing the fingertips of his right hand over his ribs like his mother use to do, thankfully he can only feel a pair of broken ribs along with a lot of swollen areas _,_ he does the same with the other side but it isn’t as bad as the other. _Brock’s left hook wasn’t as good as his right._

He takes various deep breaths to check that everything is working properly and that the broken ribs didn’t puncture his lungs or any other organs, he doesn’t feel any pressure, fullness or squeezing pain, all is good, _as good as it can be anyway._

Steve knows all these things from back in the day, his mother was a nurse and she taught him a few of the basic things when he was younger, when she fell ill and he had to take care of her, he was glad for all the knowledge she passed onto him.

So here he is, pulling out the first aid kit from one of the drawers in the bathroom, cleaning his injuries and stitching his own face, thankfully the only cut that needs them is the one on his eyebrow. He takes one last look in the mirror, at the redness on his face and knuckles, the scratching marks on his neck, the black and purple bruising under his chest tattoo piece, on his ribcages and abdomen, and a few more red marks on his thighs, he sighs and turns on the water spray to clean himself properly.

He sets the water on the colder setting he can bear and ducks his head under the water spray, he rests his palms against the cold tile of the walls and looks down between his feet, the water washing away all the blood, most of the blood that isn’t even his.

Steve replays in his head all the words that Brock said to him, over and over again, he wants to punch the wall in front of him but he figures he had enough for one night, just the thought of Brock’s voice makes him shiver under the cold water, and finally he allows himself to cry. He cries, and cries, and cries, but these aren’t sad tears anymore, he’s angry, he feels furious and irritated and just by thinking about Brock under his grasp makes him want to fight the man all over again.

The blond scrubs himself clean and stands under the water for a few more minutes, until his skin is wrinkled as a prune, he closes the water spray, towels himself and rubs a little ointment on top of the most affected areas, he gets dressed and goes downstairs.

Steve doesn’t like to take too many medicines, _no more that the ones I already take_ , but he figures his head is going to hurt in the morning so he walks to the kitchen and pulls out a couple of aspirins from the medicine cabinet, fills a glass of water and sits on the couch for a little bit.

He didn’t get hit too much in the head and doesn’t have to worry about head trauma or anything like that but he rests there for a while until he feels the medicine starting to kick in, he moves upstairs to his bed shortly after, gets under the covers as slow as possible and tries to take a comfortable position to drift himself to sleep.

***

“I think you’re wrong Bucky, Steve is nice, maybe you just misunderstood”, Gabe comments.

“No, he’s not, he’s just like Brock!” Bucky whines some more, continuing with his tantrum.

Dum Dum gives him a smack on the back of his head, making Bucky tilt forward, he has to plant his palms on the table to prevent to fall on top of the beer bottles and shot glasses in front of him.

“What the fuck was that for?” Bucky asks annoyed rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re my friend Bucky, but Steve is my friend too and I wont let you compare him with someone like Brock, no sir!” Dum Dum points at him with a serious look in his eyes.

“So what are you saying, that I screwed up?” Bucky asks frowning his face, his lower lip quivering a little.

“Yes, you did”, Monty says at the same time that Gabe yells, “big time!” the shorter man chuckles.

“Aaaaaaagggghhh”, Bucky pretends to cry rubbing his hands at his face, “you know what, I have to call him, I have to tell him I’m sorry, and that I love him, and that I want to be with him forever”, Bucky says trying to pull his phone out of his pocket.

“No, no, no, no, no, give me that”, Dum Dum mumbles snatching Bucky’s phone from his hands.

“Guys, this is serious, he just dropped the ‘L’ word on us”, Monty whispers.

“Lesbians?” Gabe jokes smirking.

“Ha-ha, you’re hilarious!” Monty says sarcastically.

“Hey, give it back, I want to call him!” Bucky whines.

“No, believe me, you don’t want to call him like this, you’ll thank me later”, Dum Dum says, “take this, no more booze for you”, his friend hands him a glass of water.

They stay there for a while longer, just drinking water and eating some peanuts, waiting for the effect of the alcohol to pass a little, Monty just drank a small glass of whiskey when they arrived 4 hours ago since he’s the designated driver for the night.

They drop Bucky off first since he’s the most drunk of the four of them, when they manage to go up to his floor, stumbling on the stairs, Bucky has his arms around his friends’ shoulders, Dum Dum on one side and Gabe on the other.

“I like you guys, you guys are nice”, Bucky hums.

“We like you too Bucky”, Monty chuckles.

“Do you know where his keys are?” Gabe asks.

“No, besides I don’t want to get in and be murdered by Natasha, we better knock”, Dum Dum says.

“But she must be sleeping”, Monty adds.

“Or she might be busy, you know”, Gabe wiggles his eyebrows, “I wouldn’t mind taking a peek, even if she’s with Clint”, he shrugs.

“Shut up”, Monty hushes, and Dum Dum knocks the door softly, they wait for a couple of minutes until the door cracks open.

“Natalia, I missed you!” Bucky says as soon as he sees her, she’s wearing pants and a hoodie but she doesn’t look sleepy at all.

“I was wondering what happened to him”, Natasha says to them leaning on the doorframe.

“Yeah, we just wanted to make sure he got home safe”, Dum Dum nods.

“Thanks, just leave him on the couch”, she says taking a step back to let them inside.

“Don’t leave, you guys are so cool”, Bucky says cheerfully.

“Goodnight, Bucky”, Gabe chuckles.

They say goodbye to Natasha after she thanks them a second time, she closes the door and goes to sit next to Bucky, “good night, eh?” She asks.

“Mmmhm”, he hums nodding, “were have you been? It’s been like forever”, Bucky comments.

“I’ve had a lot of work lately, I’m sorry”, she says passing a hand through Bucky’s hair before she stands up again, she goes into the kitchen and returns with a big glass of water a few seconds later, “here, take this”, she hands him the glass.

Bucky does as she demands, then she helps him stand up and walk to his room, she grabs some pajamas and tosses them at him, he takes his clothes in silence and puts on what she gave him before the brunet collapses face down on the bed.

“I love you, Nat”, he whispers and she chuckles.

“I love you too, James, good night, sleep on your side”, she says before she turns off the lights and closes the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really hard to write, it was really emotional for me, but at least Steve finally got his chance to put Brock where he belongs, right?
> 
> Let's hope that Bucky gets his shit together!
> 
> As usual, I want to thank you for all your nice words and feedback, let me know what you think of these two chapters.
> 
> Have a nice weekend <3


	37. Chapter 37

“Moooooooooooom”, Bucky whines rubbing his head.

Bucky’s alarm goes off at eight in the morning, yesterday he drank a whole bottle of vodka, a bunch of shots and around five beers, _or six, or was it seven? I don’t even know, I wasn’t counting anymore._ He’s lying on his bed on the same position that Natasha left him, face down buried into the pillows.

_I shouldn’t have drunk that much, but I needed it._

Now, he’s got a hangover that’s making him regret drinking those last shots, on a Friday night, when he knew he has to go to work in an hour. _I don’t even know what happened._

_I remember something about Steve’s dick and my cellphone._

“Oh, shit”, he stands up in a rush to go find his cellphone, “oohhh god, my head”, he complains locating his hands on each side of his head, like trying to stop it from spinning.

_I shouldn’t have rushed._

Bucky stands up straighter, blinking a few times and goes to find the jeans he was wearing the night before, he walks to a pile of clothing next to the chair, he fishes through his pockets until he finds the device, “bingo!” He cheers.

He checks the last messages, _nothing new_ ; he checks the last calls, _nothing new either._

“Wooohhhh”, he exclaims in relief, glad that his friends didn’t let him call or text Steve.

_Imagine how embarrassing that would’ve been like?_

Bucky grabs some clean clothes and takes a quick shower, he’s cleaning his hair when he feels his stomach growl, he’s hungry so he figures he’ll try to fix something to eat before he goes to work. As soon as he’s ready, he walks to the kitchen to find Natasha washing a few dishes.

“You know, you shouldn’t drink that much, you never know how to handle your alcohol”, she comments, not looking away from the sink.

“Well, not everybody is like you Russians that drink vodka more than water”, he says back opening the fridge to pull out the orange juice.

“You’re probably hungry, there’s some scrambled eggs left on the stove”, she announces.

“Yes, thank you, you are the best”, he lifts both of his arms into the air in excitement. He pulls out a plate from the top counter, he toasts two slices of bread and sits down on their little kitchen table.

“You might don’t remember this, but it’s true what I said last night, I’m sorry I’ve been really busy lately, that we haven’t hung out that much like we used to”, she says drying her hands with a small towel.

“I know, it’s okay, I haven’t been around either”, he nods before taking a sip of his glass of juice.

“Either way, I have to go now but I’ll see you later, ok?” Natasha says walking towards them, she kisses the top of his head and moves out of the kitchen, “hey, there’s a show at SHIELD tonight if you want to come and hang out with us”, his friend offers, looking back over her shoulder by the doorframe.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll catch you guys there”, he nods.

_Steve will probably be there._

“Okay, have a nice day”, the redhead smiles a little walking away.

“You too!” he yells before he hears their front door open and close.

***

“Aaaaagghhhhhh”, Steve growls.

He’s staring up at his bedroom ceiling, his head doesn’t hurt much but the rest of his body is in pain, he’s a really active person, he hasn’t stopped exercising since he started eight years ago, he’s had hand to hand combat training with Natasha once in a while, even fought with a few of the guys over at the Red Room, but nothing is like the real deal, and he hasn’t been in a fight in a long time.

The blond sits down slowly and stays there for a bit resting against the headboard, then he stands up to go to the bathroom, he’s afraid to look at himself in the mirror again because he knows it’s going to look worse than the night before, but he has too look either way, he’s unzips his hoodie, glad that he didn’t put on a pullover, _it would have been a real pain to take it off._

Steve is right, the bruising is even worse, his face is a little swollen, the colors on the bruises on his chest are mixture or purple, black and red, they look bigger and angrier, he stares down at his hands, he closes and opens them a few times, his fingers feel a bit numb and his knuckles hurt, _I can’t work like this._

He’s sad because he’s never missed a day at work before but he knows it’s is for the best, he puts his hoodie back on slowly, _I’ll have to wear button-ups for a long time._

Steve finds his phone resting on the nightstand of his side, _my side? Both sides are mine, whom am I kidding?_ It’s around nine a.m., he figures it’s a good time to text Darcy to let her know he’s not going.

 **Steve:** I won’t be going to work today, do you think we can move the appointments from today into next week?

He puts his phone inside the pocket of his hoodie, the blond goes down to see how Captain is doing and fix something to eat, when he’s at the bottom of the stairs his phone starts to buzz, he checks the screen noticing it’s a call.

“Hey Darce, what’s- ” He answers before getting interrupted by a screaming Darcy.

“Oh my god Steve, what’s wrong, where are you, are you sick, did something happen?” She asks in panic.

“I’m fine Darcy, I just need the day off”, he lies.

“Yeah, but you’ve never taken a day off before, this isn’t you”, the girl insist, “just tell me if you’re sick, I’ll even buy chicken soup and everything”, she says and he chuckles to that, _bad idea_ , he rubs his hurtful chest with his hand.

“I’m not sick, it’s a long story. I’ll see you on Monday, alright?” He says trying to avoid the subject.

“Okay, just call if you need anything, I’ll take care of the shop for you”, the brunette soothes.

“Sure thing, Darcy, thanks”, he says before hanging up, he walks to the kitchen to pull out a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and puts it over his face, he hisses under the coldness of the bag.

***

This day is passing slowly but Bucky’s glad he’s been busy with a lot of work today, his mind hasn’t drifted to think about anything else but translations, that until now. He’s heading towards SHIELD to meet with Natasha, and hopefully, Steve, the brunet remembers the last time they met, that night at the café, when they agreed on being just friends, when he saw that drawing, and then he cried about Steve last night.

_I’m sure I cried, even though I don’t remembered that much._

_I feel like I haven’t seen him in a long time, I really miss him._

It’s almost nine when he parks his bike outside, the evening cold and cloudy, he knows he missed the first bands but he doesn’t really care, today’s main band is ‘Turnstile’, is not one of his favorites but he knows that Steve likes them a lot so he’s probably here already.

He walks towards the door, says hello to some people, a few guys from other bands, Sam that is with Sharon by the bar and Phil; it feels weird to think about a few months ago when he wouldn’t even dare to put a foot inside SHIELD, just because Brock told him not to, _it’s stupid really._

Bucky notices Natasha and Clint outside the stage room and walks up to greet them, but for some reason it looks like Steve is not here yet.

“Hey”, Bucky says to Natasha and Clint. _Don’t ask yet._

“Hi Bucky, how you doing?” Clint asks.

“I’m okay, just got off from work, you?” he shrugs. _Don’s ask yet._

“Everything’s fine, Peter and Wade drive me crazy sometimes but…-” he’s explaining until Sam comes to stand next to them.

“Hey did you hear what happened to Brock?” Sam asks.

“What about him?” Natasha wonders looking at Bucky from the corner of her eye.

“They found him all beat up in an alley, they say he was crying when the ambulance picked him up”, Sam says.

“Shit, really?” Clint asks and Sam nods, “I don’t wish anything wrong to anyone but that guy had it coming”, Clint adds.

_Damn right, brother!_

“Yeah, definitely, Sam says “I heard he’s in really bad shape, like shit shape, broken ribs, twisted arm, busted nose, dislocated jaw but that he’ll be fine”, the guy explains, “I’d like to see the other guy”, Sam chuckles.

“I’d like to thank him”, Bucky says suddenly, Clint burst out in laughter offering his fist, and Bucky bumps it with pride.

_Fuck that asshole._

They see one band playing, glad that he doesn’t have to talk about Brock anymore, the band is nice, he enjoys the music for a while until his mind goes back to Steve, he hasn’t heard anything about him but he’s not sure know how to ask without sounding desperate.

“Do you guys know anything about Steve?” Sam asks as soon as the band ends their set. _Thank you!_

“That’s right, he normally gets off from work early on Saturdays, so where is he?”, Natasha wonders.

“Have you tried to reach him?” Clint asks.

“Well, I sent him a few messages earlier to ask if he was coming but he didn’t answer”, Sam informs.

_What if something happened to him?_

Bucky is starting to panic, he begins to breath faster, _calm down Bucky, he’s fine._ Now the three of them are staring at him with questioning looks, he stands there looking back at them.

“What?” Bucky asks confused.

“I’m gonna be honest, I thought he was going to be with you”, Sam confesses.

“Oh, no”, Bucky shakes his head, “I haven’t seen him in a while”, he informs sadly, he notices Natasha frowns her forehead at that, Clint and Sam look back at each other but neither are saying anything.

They listen to the band that’s up before Turnstile’s turn, Bucky is looking back and forth from the stage to the door, hoping that Steve will come in any second, but it doesn’t happen. As soon as the band ends, they gather around by the bar area to wait for the last band to play, and yet, no signs from Steve.

S _hould I call, should I text him, but what if he doesn’t wants to hear from me?_

“Hey guys, I texted Darcy to see if she noticed anything wrong with Steve today but she told me that he took the day off”, Natasha frowns in disbelief.

“What?” Sam and Clint yell at the same time in surprise.

Bucky feels like someone just punched the air out of his body, _Steve never takes days off,_ he knows something is not right, and he regrets not texting Steve all day, _what if he needs my help?_ Bucky knows it’s stupid, not because Steve wouldn’t want help from him, but because Steve never wants help from anyone.

He pulls out his phone, his hands shaking as he types.

 **Bucky:** Hey Steve, Darcy said you didn’t go to work today, is everything okay?

He’s nervous because he doesn’t get an answer from Steve right away, _maybe he’s busy,_ but when he finally does, it doesn’t help him with the nerves, it actually gets worst.

 **Steve:** Yes, why wouldn’t it be?

 **Bucky:** I don’t know, you never take days off. I though you were coming to the show.

 **Steve:** Well, I did today, and no, I had some things to do.

Bucky stares at the screen with wide eyes, Steve is never this cold when they text each other, he knows something is wrong and Steve definitely doesn’t want to talk to him right now.

“What is it?” Natasha asks, she must have noticed him looking down at his phone, Bucky shows the screen to his friends without saying anything.

“That’s odd, that’s not like him”, Clint frowns. _Indeed._

“I’m just gonna go ahead and call him”, Sam announces, squeezing Bucky’s shoulder as he passes next to him.

***

Steve’s day is miserable, not because he missed a day at work, he’s always been a homey person, but sitting down on the couch all day not being able to do much _sucks_ , he feels desperate, _and bored_.

He’s been eating soup and drinking protein shakes all day, he figures if he tries to eat something too big his chest and jaw are going to start bothering him, he had to settle with smaller meals, _and I’m fucking starving._

Steve has been watching movies all day, nothing too funny so he won’t laugh too much and hurt his ribs even more, he’s been doing hands exercises to prevent them from cramping, he sketched a little and his pulse isn’t bad, he’s glad that he doesn’t have to work tomorrow and by Monday his hands hopefully will be feeling better.

He walks upstairs to his room to take a small nap in the afternoon, _a small nap that turns out to be 3 hours_ , he goes back and eats some toast, then outside to the little back yard and tosses a few toys at Captain, he wants to play with his dog as he normally would but he can’t do that either, he feels hopeless.

Steve goes into the room he keeps as an office and tries to clean up some papers and archives, he sits down to read a book, looks trough some old sketches, navigates through the web, downloads new music, and still feels hopeless.

He settles back in the couch downstairs again to watch another movie, he sketches some more but his eyes are getting tired, he fixes himself some coffee, grabs a blanket and lays down on the couch, and 30 minutes later he falls asleep, _again._

When Steve finally wakes up, _two hours later_ , Captain is licking his fingers and the Fight Club blue-ray menu is replaying on the background, _ironic, I know_. He opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling until his phone buzzes on the side table.

The blond hasn’t checked his phone all day, he doesn’t want to explain what happened to anyone, he knows he’s going to have to do it sooner or later anyway. He’s got a lot of missed calls and messages, _like a lot_ , a few from Thor, Darcy and even Loki, there are some others from Sam, and the last one from Bucky.

When he sees that Bucky is asking if he’s fine he just lies and types the first thing that comes to his mind, Steve is glad that it’s a text and not a call because he’s a terrible liar, and he totally forgot that the Turnstile show is tonight, _what a shame_. The blond is aware his answer sounds shallow but he doesn’t want to deal with anything right now. A few seconds later his phone is buzzing again but this time it’s a call from Sam.

“Hey Sam”, he answers.

“Yo man, what’s going on?” He says back.

“Nothing, why?” Steve lies.

“Stop it, I know something’s not right, Steve”, Sam demands.

“Listen, I’m fine, something did happened last night I just don’t want to explain anything over the phone”, he confesses.

“We worry about you, man”, Sam sounds sad.

“I know and I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cause any trouble”, Steve says looking down at his hand fiddling with the zipper of his hoodie.

“Steve, it’s no trouble, we care, that’s what friends do”, Sam informs.

“Yeah, I know, it’s just…” he takes a deep breath, pinching gently the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

“This is about Bucky, isn’t it?” his friend asks.

“No”, he sighs, “well, yeah, a little bit”, Steve adds.

“Okay, I won’t ask anymore, but how about if Clint and I stop by your house tomorrow?” Sam offers.

“Yeah, okay”, Steve answers.

“That’s settled then, I’ll see you tomorrow”, Sam hangs up before Steve can say anything else.

 _It’s only fair;_ _I have a lot of explaining to do._


	38. Chapter 38

It’s Monday morning and Steve is still sore and bruised. He walks to his bathroom and before taking a bath he takes a look at his naked self in the mirror tries hard not to cry. Bucky’s hickeys aren’t visible anymore, but now instead of that, he has bruises and cuts as the result of his fight with Brock.

“I guess it’s for the best”, he sniffs sadly, he moves into the shower and he restrains himself from crying under the water, _again_.

Yesterday’s talk with Clint and Sam was embarrassing and difficult; he kept his guard up during the whole thing. First he explained what happened between him and Bucky after Halloween, and how afterwards Bucky left in the morning probably regretting what happened. He had to be honest to him about how he felt on Tuesday and luckily they can stay friends in the end.

They were unconvinced, they kept insisting that something was off and that they are pretty sure Bucky has feelings for him, but as much as he wishes that was the case, the brunet had said they were better off forgetting the whole thing.

_Just a mistake._

“That’s not what we came here for”, Sam had said, “look at you, what happened?” he asked.

Steve didn’t know what to say at first, coming clean about fighting with Brock was harder than he expected it to be, he did anyway. They didn’t completely agree with the situation, but they weren’t disapproving it either.

“Really, someone had to do it” Clint remarked as he left the house. _Yeah, but why did it have to be me?_

***

Weird enough, Bucky is getting used to waking up early now, he’s even setting up his bag the night before, and really, all his clothes kind of go together, however, he combines them so he never has worry about that. He isn’t happy with how Steve and him are interacting, it’s pretty awkward but Bucky is trying hard to avoid showing how he really feels about Steve.

Life is setting into a comfortable routine and it isn’t driving him mad like he thought it would. He walks into the kitchen fully dressed as Natasha is coming back from a morning walk.

“Good morning” she says following him into the kitchen.

“I’m making some pancakes today”, he offers.

“Oh yeah? Are you in a good mood?” She asks surprised.

“Not really, I just felt like making pancakes”, he shrugs.

“Bucky, we need to talk”, she informs.

“Yeah, we do, but not today”, he nods, “how about if we schedule it?” Bucky says placing two pancakes in a plate and handing them to Natasha.

“Okay, how about tomorrow?” the redhead wonders.

“Yes, tomorrow sounds good”, he nods.

“I do need you to go to the Red Room today”, she informs.

“What for?” the brunet asks.

_It’s Monday, Steve is probably going to be there._

“I just need you to sign some contract papers for the new employees”, she explains.

“Ok”, he says plainly.

“Steve is not going to be there”, Natasha adds.

“How come?” He frowns his eyebrows.

 _First he takes a day off from and now thi_ s?

“Clint said it, I don’t know why, it’s probably the same reason why he didn’t go to work on Saturday, we’ll see”, his friend says.

***

As he walks out of the shower his face is even puffier, he can’t help but grimace at the look of it, the cut on his lip, his still swollen eyes. He thinks for a second on taking the day off. _What would I do? I can’t stay here._ Saturday had been a torture, falling asleep every few hours and just not being able to do anything productive.

He fixes his hair reluctantly and walks to his closet to pick out the day’s outfit.  He grabs a pair of jeans and a simple button down and puts on a pair of tennis shoes. Steve stands at the door of his room making mental notes in case he’s forgetting something. _It’s Monday, Red Room night, gym-bag_. The blond shifts back in and stuffs a pair of pants and a hoodie into his bag, clean underwear, and socks.

In the kitchen he makes some scrambled eggs and coffee, he usually doesn’t have such a simple breakfast but he isn’t in the mood to eat anything else. He walks Captain next door so he can spend the day with Miles and his family, Steve checks his phone before leaving. Bucky and him have been texting like they did before this whole situation but it’s awkward, he’s trying not to sound too needy and make Bucky uncomfortable.   
  
**Steve** : Good Morning, I’m about to go to work, have a nice day.

Bucky takes a while to respond.

 **Bucky** : Yeah, same here, you too.

Steve rests his head between his hands, his phone still between them. _I can’t do this, whatever he says makes my heart ache,_ he taps his face a couple of times with the phone and finally stands up, “gotta work”, he says to himself trying to sound cheerful.

***

Bucky doesn’t wait to receive another message from Steve after his response, he walks out of the apartment and leans on the door for a second before walking down the stairs.  _I can’t deal with this._ He shakes his head and lowers the steps quickly, he gets on his bicycle and drives to a nearby coffee shop.

Getting to Manhattan is quicker than usual, he’s halfway through his coffee when he takes the elevator to his office at Stark Tower. Tony is sitting on his chair with Bruce leaning on his desk beside him.

“What are you guys doing here?” Bucky asks, not bothering to say hello.

“What, you didn’t bring me any coffee?” Tony pretends to cry.

“I’m not your personal assistant”, he answers plainly, he’s just isn’t in the mood for this.

“I’m going to ask my personal assistant for some coffee, you want some Bruce?” Tony says taking out his cellphone and texting someone.

“What are you doing in my chair? I’ve got work to do”, Bucky huffs.

“We were gossiping, my dad is going through our data with the supervisors and we can’t be present”, Tony shrugs.

“That sucks”, Bucky says.

“It’s really unnerving”, Bruce adds.

Bucky sits on his desk when he notices Tony isn’t budging on moving away from his chair, “people are going to think we’re slacking off”, Bucky comments pushing Tony’s chair with his leg.

“There are literally like 3 more people in this whole floor, nobody is going to notice”, Tony comments.

“More like 20”, Bucky informs.

“Whatever”, Tony shrugs.

Bucky starts going through his papers while Bruce and Tony are talking about a new project, Tony is asking him something but he isn’t paying attention, “it’s like he’s in another era”, Tony whines.

“Hello?” Bruce says waving a hand in front of him.

“Oh sorry, we’re you asking me something?” Bucky wonders over the notebook on his hands.

“What happened during Halloween?” Tony asks.

“What do you mean?” He wonders trying to sound casual.

“What happened between you and Steve? Is he finally off the market?” Tony wiggles his eyebrows.

***

Steve arrives at the tattoo shop and Darcy looks up to greet him, as soon as she sees him her eyes go wide, “oh my God”, she whispers, her mouth slightly open.

“Good morning,” he says walking straight to his work area.

He hears his co-workers murmuring outside, Thor is the one who walks into the office space with a worried look on his face, “my friend, are you alright? Did you get mugged?” he asks sympathetically.

“No… I just lost my temper,” he sighs looking back wearily at Thor, “you guys shouldn’t worry about me, I wasn’t the one who got the worst of it”, the blond shrugs. Thor seems to want to ask something else but Steve tries not to pay much attention, gladly, the bigger man understands and drops the subject.

“As long as you are fine”, Thor nods before walking away, _as fine as I can be._ He pulls out his phone to text Bucky to let him know he arrived to the shop safe and sound but then changes his mind. _Maybe later._

Half an hour after, Darcy pokes her head into the workspace with a small smile on her lips, “your first appointment is here”, she announces shyly.

“Thanks, Darcy”, he nods.

Steve stands up to welcome Rachel, a tall pink haired girl wearing a pair of velvet black skinny jeans, combat boots, a fitted pink crop top bustier with leather embellishments and a long black coat on top, she’s getting a diamond tattoo on her back.

The girl is with a friend, a brunette girl sporting a blue-pinned skirt, a maroon blazer and a yellow infinity scarf, “I’m sorry, Steve, she insisted on coming, this is my friend…” Rachel apologizes.

“Hi, I’m Bernie!” She interrupts offering her hand to Steve.

_Whoa there, easy._

“Hello”, he says politely shaking her hand.

“I really want to see the whole tattoo process if that’s not to much trouble”, she says.

_It kinda is._

“Well, I usually only work with the client in the room”, he comments.

_Bucky is the one of the few persons that has seen me work in a long time._

“Pretty please?” She insists batting her big and long fake eyelashes.

“The thing is that everyone has a different opinions and…” He tries to explain.

“I won’t interrupt!” the girl whines.

“It’s not so much interrupting, more like…” Steve comments.

“I won’t ask anything about her tattoo, I promise”, Bernie pouts making puppy eyes at Steve.

“I guess it’s okay”, he comments reluctantly, “Rachel, you stay here in the chair, and Bernie you can sit over here so you can see the process”, the blond instructs.

***

“He’s not off the market”, Bucky says in annoyance.

“What?” Bruce asks genuinely surprised.

“I was pretty sure you guys were having a thing that day, or maybe it was all the booze I drank”, Tony chuckles.

“We might have been but it didn’t work out”, Bucky informs looking down at his notes.

“What did you do?” Tony asks.

“I didn’t do anything, okay? It just can’t happen”, Bucky says, _I can’t put myself through that again,_ “lets just drop the subject”, he pleads.

“So, if I stole him away, you wouldn’t mind?” Tony teased.

“Of course I would but not for the reasons you think”, the brunet shakes his head, “first, he’s not a thing to be stolen and second, he’s not mine to be stolen”, he sighs deeply, “besides you have Pepper, you can’t have both, Steve and Pepper”, Bucky raises his voice a little.

“He’s right”, Bruce crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Wouldn’t I be the luckiest man in the planet though?” Tony laughed leaning back on Bucky’s chair again.

“Your coffee, sir?” A young man says poking his head into the room with a cup in his hand.

Bruce takes the cup from the man’s hand a takes a sip of Tony’s coffee before him, “uuuh, indirect kiss” Tony teases taking a sip after him.

“You’re so immature, get off my chair, I have work to do”, Bucky demands.

“You have to explain something to me before I leave”, Tony warns pointing his index finger at him.

“What?” Bucky asks.

“Did you sleep with him?” Tony wonders and Bucky blushes. He really doesn’t want to tell Tony all of the grimy details about what happened between Steve and him, he stands there for a moment debating what to reveal.

“Ha! You totally did”, Tony yells.

“Tony, I think you’re stepping the line here”, Bruce warns.

“Look, if Bucky really wants the guy he’d be with him already, he always gets what he wants”, Tony says to Bruce, talking about Bucky like he isn’t even there.

“Not always Tony, Steve isn’t so different from other guys”, Bucky is now raising his voice, he’s getting mad about Tony’s imprudence.

“What do you mean?” Tony asks but his tone of voice sounds like he’s teasing.

“I don’t want to put myself through… you know, I don’t have to explain anything!” Bucky is now breathing loudly through his nose and feels his face on fire.

“Bucky, calm down…” Tony opens his eyes wide, “I’m sorry, I won’t intrude more than I have”, he sighs.

“Sir?” the young guy walks inside the office again, “Mr. Stark is waiting for you”, he informs and Bucky sighs in relief, he needs to be alone for a moment. 

***

Steve places the trace paper on Rachel’s back, he shows her to a mirror to look at the position and see what she thinks about it, “I love it”, the girl smiles wide.

“Yeah, it looks great there”, Bernie adds and Steve tries hard not to roll his eyes. _So much for not interrupting_. They both sit back down and Steve starts prepping his gun and ink after putting on the gloves.

“How long have you been tattooing Steve?” Bernie asks.

“About 5 years or so”, he says looking back at the tattoo, “you tell me if you get to tired, okay?” he asks looking at Rachel and she nods enthusiastically.

Bernie scooted the chair closer supposedly to look at the tattoo but Steve can feel her eyes on him, “so you do the contour first?” She asks.

“For this one, since she wants it to look more realistic, I’m adding blue and pink contours and then I’m adding highlights”, the blond explains.

“I see”, she nods, “does it hurt Rachel?” Bernie questions her friend.

“Yeah, a bit”, Rachel hisses under the needle of the tattoo machine.

“I don’t know if I could ever get a tattoo, I am super squeamish about needles”, Bernie whines.

“Well, you seem to be pretty interested in this one”, Rachel mutters between her teeth.

“It’s not the needle I’m interested in”, she says with a smirk on her face and Steve blushes a bit as Bernie scoots closer.

***

Bucky lost his temper with Tony, he couldn’t help it, the man was pressing buttons that are literally none of his business. The brunet rests his head on his desk for a moment before he hears a knock on the door, he looks back up and Pepper walks into his office.

“Hey”, he sighs heavily.

“Tony is really sad that he upset you this morning”, she informs.

“It’s not that much big of a deal, I just haven’t sorted out my feelings either”, he confesses.

“Let’s speak hypothetically for a moment”, she smiles a little.

“That sounds fun”, he says kindly, “we’re saying a friend of yours is having feelings for a mutual friend”, Bucky shrugs.

“Right”, Pepper nods, “and when those feelings were reciprocated he feels overwhelmed?” she adds.

“No, no, he thought those feelings were reciprocated buuuuuuuut”, he explains, “they weren’t”, the man shakes his head.

“Is your friend sure about that?” the blonde wonders.

“He’s pretty sure, this mutual friend thought about it like a friends with benefits thing or a one night stand”, Bucky says looking down at his hands.

“That doesn’t sound like our mutual friend”, she frowns in confusion.

“That’s what my friend thought, but all signs point to the other direction”, he comments.

“Could your friend be wrong?” Pepper asks.

“I don’t know, he’s too emotionally involved”, he confesses.

“What did your friend do about the situation?” the woman questions.

“He asked our mutual friend just to be friends”, Bucky sighs sadly.

“Hmmm”, Pepper frowns her forehead even more in disagreement.

“Was my friend wrong? They haven’t gotten back to how it used to be”, Bucky says.

“Maybe they both haven’t been honest to each other”, she guesses.

“Yeah, that could be it”, the brunet shrugs.

***

“What happened to your face? You look like shit”, Rachel asks him, Steve tries not to chuckle and continue with his work, the girl is having a hard time because he’s filling a part of the tattoo very steadily.

“I got into a fight”, he shrugs casually.

“You don’t look that bad”, Bernie adds and Steve turns to the side to look at her while he cleans the excess ink on the other woman’s skin.

“Uumm”, he mumbles. _When did she get so close?_

“You get into fights often Steve?” Bernie asks crossing her legs.

“Not really”, he shakes his head.

“What happened then?” she wonders.

“They guy provoked me”, Steve looks back at Rachel’s back to continue with his work.

“Was he insulting you?” the girl wonders.

“No”, he answers plainly.

“But you do MMA right? I saw an ad on the bus the other day, I’m pretty sure it was you… Or were you just modeling for that?”, she lifts her eyebrows in question.

_That stupid ad!_

“I do MMA but not competitively”, he adds.

“Oh, well if you did, you seem to have the upper hand”, Bernie compliments and Rachel pretends to cough.

***

“Pepper, I really don’t know what to do”, Bucky feels completely lost here.

“I’m really not the one to give great relationship advice”, the woman shrugs.

“But Tony and you are perfect”, he tilts his head to the side staring back at her.

“Tony and I are bumpy, I mean, it works but he’s unpredictable, it’s part of the appeal really, but sometimes that can be stressful too, I can’t assume anything either”, she explains.

“What do you mean?” He wonders.

“He’s a flirty guy, but he isn’t dishonest, if I’m starting to misunderstand something I have to ask him, if I assume then I end up loosing, I have to be direct with him about what upsets me and what he’s doing wrong sometimes”, Pepper comments.

“Because he doesn’t notice?” Bucky asks.

“Because he’s always putting up appearances, I know that’s why he sometimes comes off as rude or nonchalant, but he isn’t like that, you have to look at the bigger picture”, she points her index finger at him, a small smile on her face.

***

“Steve, are you seeing someone?” Bernie questions.

“Bernie!!” Rachel yells feeling embarrassed about her friend.

“What? I’m just asking”, she shrugs.

“I’m not seeing someone”, he answers all of the sudden. _I wish I were seeing someone specifically..._

“Why not?” The girl asks.

“Bernie, stop it!”, Rachel demands.

“I’m calling dibs, Rachel”, she says, talking like Steve isn’t even there.

“He’s not some object”, Rachel huffs back to her friend.

“Uumm?” Steve keeps trying to ignore them for a moment just thinking about the tattoo.

“So?” Bernie says.

“Huh?” Steve isn’t sure what’s going on.

“Why aren’t you seeing anyone?” Bernie insists.

“Last time it didn’t work out”, he says.

“How come?” she wonders.

“They didn’t feel like we could be more than friends”, Steve comments sadly.

***

Bucky keeps working for a while after Pepper left, he’s thinking back to her words, how he could have misinterpreted the situation. _But the situation is pretty damn clear!_

He knows he can’t be more than friends with Steve, but he doubts his feelings towards him are going to change any time soon. _What does that even mean? If I don’t feel this way about him what could we be? Fuck buddies?_ _Is Steve thinking that’s what we’re growing into?_ He feels sick to his stomach, he really wants to cry and scream at someone, hit a wall or something, anything.

What makes him feel even worse is that he’s the one that put himself in this situation, their evening at Coney Island had been great, then he screw everything up and tried to make it up. He’s aware that they moved fast and jumped a few steps by having a sexual encounter, but it had felt really emotional and like Steve really cared about him, but apparently he doesn’t.

_Fuck, Bucky, why do you always have to misinterpret these things?_

***

“Okay, we’re done” Steve says whipping off the few drops of blood and extra ink from Rachel’s back.

“It looks fantastic!” she says as soon as she looks at herself in the mirror.

Steve finishes covering it with cream and covering it properly at the same time he explains how to take care of it for it to heal nicely.  They trio walk out into the lobby, when they arrive there, Bernie turns around immediately and looks at him straight in the eye.

“You and I, we’re going on a date tomorrow, no buts”, she nods.

“Oooh…” Steve frowns. _Wait, what?_

“Okay, I’ll meet you at the Coffee Bean a few blocks from here, 8 p.m.”, Bernie announces.

“Wha…” Steve starts before she interrupts her, “no buts”, Bernie says, turning back and winking at him before she walks behind her friend who’s pulling her by the arm.

“Did you just get invited on a date the way you look right now?” Darcy asks as soon as Rachel and Bernie leave.

“I don’t even know what just happened”, he scratches the back of his neck.

“Hmm… People are weird”, Darcy shrugs, “by the way, if this is why you took Saturday off, I’m glad you did”, she offers him a small smile.

***

Just as Bucky is finishing today’s work he notices an overdue amount of text messages and calls from Natasha, he had been ignoring his cellphone all day, trying not to feel sad because Steve hasn’t texted him since the morning, but then again, Bucky hasn’t said anything either.

 **Nat:** Hey, you busy?

 **Nat:** Call me when you get this.

 **Nat:** You off work yet?

 **Nat:** James!

He’s still looking through the messages when the phone starts to ring.

“Hi Nat, sorry”, Bucky says, “I didn’t see the messages or heard the calls until now”, he answers.

“Yeah, whatever, you’re off from work now?” his friend asks.

“You could say that, I was just cleaning up here”, he informs.

“Ok, just to remind you that I need you here at the Red Room”, Natasha says. _Oh, right!_

“Yes, I’m on my way”, Bucky says before hanging up.

***

Steve arrives at the Red Room and he was really hoping not to see Natasha right now, but for his luck, she’s at the front desk looking through some things with their receptionist, she looks up at him as he approaches and frowns at him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asks sounding angry, the guy sitting behind the counter opens his eyes wide looking between the two of them.

“What? It’s Monday”, he shrugs.

“What are you doing here looking like that?” the redhead raises her voice a little waving a hand at him.

“Well, I…”, he starts before she interrupts him putting her hand up in the air

“Come with me”, she demands, Steve follows Natasha to her office.

A lot of the instructors and other guys he trains with are looking at him and murmuring. When they reach the main office, he gets inside first and Natasha closes the door behind her.

“Take off your sweatshirt”, the redhead demands.

“No, I haven’t warmed up and it’s kind of chilly in here”, he says in panic shaking his head.

“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid”, she says,” take it off, Rogers!” Natasha insists.

***

Bucky ties his bicycle outside of the Red Room, he walks in and asks the receptionist where Natasha is and the man points to her office door. He starts walking into that direction, ogling at the people working out around the place.

 _You guys don’t stand a chance against Steve_.

As soon as he gets closer to Natasha’s office, he doesn’t bother to knock, he just opens the door right. Natasha is yelling at Steve, she seems pissed at Steve has his head duck down.

The brunet is frozen in place, Steve’s standing there without a shirt on, he has his back to the door, but Bucky will recognize that set of shoulders and tattoos anywhere. That’s not what caught Bucky’s attention, the blond’s back looks bad and sored, on the left side he has a nasty bruise right under his rib cage and Bucky can bet it expands all the way up to his chest.

“Hi”, Bucky whispers.

When Steve turns around he confirms his guess, Bucky feels his knees go weak, even thought he was going to pass out, his mouth is now clinging open and his eyes wide staring at the man in front of him while he holds the doorknob tightly.

_Holy shit!_

The blonde’s face has a few cuts on his cheek and lip, stitches on his eyebrow, but the worst part is Steve’s chest, it has all sorts of nasty bruises, black, red and purple, the guy is looking down at his feet with a sad expression on his face, like he’s embarrassed, Bucky really wants to stretch his arms and wrap them around Steve, but he doesn’t, _I can’t._

Bucky begins to panic, _what in the world happened to him?_ It could be one and a million things, he could have been mugged, a gym practice gone bad, he was in a bike accident or car for that matter, or a fight, _an angry, mad and brutal fist fight._

The brunet’s thoughts are traveling a million miles per hour, _they say he was crying when they picked him up_ , his brain thumping against his skull, _I’d like to see the other guy,_ those were Sam’s words the day of the show, the day that Steve didn’t go to work. It hits him like a truck at high speed. If Brock is in bad shape as a result of a fight, Steve is definitely _the other guy._

_But why would he do that?_

“Bucky, here’s what I need you to sign”, Natasha says, finally breaking the awkward silence in the room placing a manila folder on top of her desk.

***

As soon as Bucky walks through Natasha’s door, he feels the brunet’s eyes staring at him, he has to lower his eyes because he doesn’t want to look at the disappointment on Bucky’s face.

When he finally gathers the strength to look up, he notices that Bucky’s reaction to his bruises is hard to read, he looks concerned but also very upset. He looks at Steve straight in the eyes and Steve can’t help to look away again trying to put on his clothes back on quickly without hurting himself even more.

“Steve, go back home”, Natasha demands, “I’m not closing the door after you so I’ll know if you try to stay”, she warns.

“Fine”, He huffs heavily.

“If you feel restless at home, go take a walk, but you shouldn’t be working out in that condition and you know it”, Natasha commands.

“Yes, ok”, he nods one time.

Steve starts walking without looking at Bucky, he doesn’t know what the guy is thinking, if he’s aware of the situation or not, perhaps he believes Steve is reckless, he’s not wrong, maybe this is it, the reason he needs to back away from him. He passes next to Bucky, his lips pressed into a tight line, he feels tears gathering inside his throat, Steve’s head hurts and his hands are shaky and sweaty.

“Steve…” Bucky says holding Steve by the wrist, his grip is not tight but he squeezes a bit, the blond looks down at his arm and then back up to meet Bucky’s eyes, “take care”, the brunet whispers and the blond nods before walking away, he wants to get out of there as soon as possible so no one will see him crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Bucky's gonna be pissed when he finds out about Steve's date?
> 
> D:


	39. Chapter 39

Tuesday at the shop goes by uneventful, the only highlight of the day is that he takes his hour for lunch to stop by the cemetery and place a fresh bouquet of flowers, he normally just buys a few but today is different since it’s Veterans Day. He lingers there for a while and says hello to his parents, and tries not to cry while he talks about Bucky with his mother. Steve knows better, he’s sure that if his mother was here today she would know something is wrong and that he’s swallowing down all the tears inside his throat, she would give him a hug and say that everything is going to be okay. Steve pretends she’s doing exactly that from wherever she is, he wraps it up with a teary goodbye and hurries back to the shop for his next appointment.

He texts Bucky a few times with a couple of jokes he read on the paper between jobs during the day, only to get answers like ‘LOL’ and ‘that’s funny’. Steve frowns every single time, he’s aware that Bucky is trying his hardest to keep it cool with Steve, but maybe he’s being annoying, _what if I stopped talking to him all together?_ Steve feels dishonest keeping up with this situation but he can’t bring himself to say “we’re something or we’re nothing”, that’s immature.

 _Am I being too selfish for keeping him around?_  

Darcy clears her throat poking her head inside the room interrupting Steve’s train of thoughts, “Hey, it’s past seven, don’t stay too long here, you’re going to be late for your date”, she comments.

“What date?” he wonders.

“Bernie? Yesterday?” The brunette remembers.

“Damn, I totally forgot about that,” Steve sighs leaning his head on the light desk.

“You could ditch you know, you never really agreed to it”, Darcy shrugs.

“That would be so mean thought, I’m just going to go and let her down slowly”, he says sadly looking down at himself to check if what he’s wearing is appropriate.

_It’s just a coffee, you are not going to fancy restaurant._

“You should try having the actual date, even thought you and I both know better”, she says placing her hands on her waist.

“I am going to have the date just out of spite from that last comment”, Steve jokes standing up.

“Oh, c’mon Steve”, she insists, “Bucky and you are so cute together”, Darcy smiles wide and Steve sighs deeply.

“Goodbye, Darcy”, he says walking out of his working area.

***

Bucky is wrapping up at his office, he’s been waiting for a free moment to talk to his dad all day but he hasn’t had the opportunity. When he finally finishes his work for the day, he takes the chance to call home and waits patiently while the tone rings a few times.

“Hello?” Bucky says as soon as he hears someone picking up on the other end.

“Jimmy, let me pass you to your dad”, his mother says automatically, “Georgie! James is calling!” she yells, _leaving me deaf in the process_.

“Okay, ma’”, he chuckles.

“Hey, Bucky”, his father answers cheerfully.

“Hi dad, congratulations!” Bucky says.

“Thank you, son”, his dad mumbles, Bucky notices on his voice that the man is munching on something.

“What are you eating?” Bucky questions, “How did you spend your day?” he says.

“It’s this beer flavored beef jerky your mother bought me, it’s so good!” the man comments and Bucky smiles, “the day has been nice, we went bowling, we enjoyed the parade, and I spent some time with friends, your mom and I are going dancing later”, Bucky’s dad explains.

“Wow, you guys really pushed the envelope this time”, he laughs softly.

“Well, there were discounts everywhere and you know how your mother loves those”, his father says.

“Tell her that’s not the meaning of Veterans Day”, Bucky singsongs.

“She’ll say something among the lines of ‘we have to appreciate that these things are there’”, he says in a mocking high-pitched voice, pretending to mock Bucky’s mom.

“I heard you!” Bucky listens his mother say from afar, he chuckles a bit and so does his dad.

“Are you coming over for thanksgiving?” His dad asks.

“You know I am”, Bucky says.

“Your sister gossiped with your mom the other day about this man you like, I don’t know if you guys are something but if you are, you have to bring him over or your mom will kill you”, Bucky’s dad warns.

“Oh man, she always wants me to bring someone”, Bucky whines.

_How would I take Steve? Not in these circumstances._

“She already talked to Natasha so she knows she’s going to her boyfriend’s for thanksgiving, you should bring this guy of yours”, his father says.

“I’ll figure something out”, he adds sadly.

“Okay, you getting off from work?” his dad wonders.

“Yes, actually I was about to ride back home”, Bucky informs.

“Be careful, send me a Facebook message when you get home, you know I’m a cool dad”, the man laughs.

“Sure, dude”, Bucky giggles, “I love you dad, I miss you guys”, he says.

“We love you and miss you too, Jimbo”, his dad says, “have a good night”, he adds.

“You too, dad, buh-bye”, Bucky sighs before hanging up.

***

Steve arrives at the Coffee Bean where the girl told him to meet, he has decided he isn’t going to have the date, he really can’t but when he gets there Bernie isn’t there, eight-fifteen and she still hasn’t arrived.

_Maybe she forgot, lucky…_

But just as that last thought escapes his mind, Bernie walks into the coffee shop.

_Elegantly late._

“Hi there!” she says, Steve stands up to greet her kissing her cheek.

“Bernie”, he says plainly.

“Steve”, she mocks with a smirk.

“I really can’t have this date with you”, Steve informs.

“Steve, remember, no buts”, he demands pointing a finger at him.

“No, you see…” he starts before Bernie interrupts him shaking her head.

“How about you don’t think of this as a date but more like a conversation with a friend?” the girl offers.

Steve looks at her for a moment and sighs, “I guess we could do that”, he says finally.

“C’mon, lets order something”, she insists walking away towards the counter.

***

When Bucky arrives home, Natasha is already there cooking something in the kitchen, he dumps his thing over the couch, removes his shoes and extra layers of clothing before she walks to meet her.

“That smells great, what is it?” He wonders.

“I’m just making some chicken and vegetables”, Natasha shrugs.

“Eww, veggies, no!” He whines before leaning forward and kisses the top of her head.

“You’re such a child”, she shakes her head smirking.

“We’re going to talk today right?” Bucky questions while he sets the table.

“Yes, that’s the idea”, his friend reminds.

“Okay, what are we going to talk about again?” He says trying to avoid the obvious.

“James….” Natasha singsongs.

“Yeah, yeah, I know”, he huffs, “why don’t we talk about Clint and you instead?” Bucky tries to change the subject.

“What’s there to tell? We’re perfect for each other”, she shrugs casually.

“My dad told me you’re going to ditch our Thanksgiving dinner to go with him”, Bucky says.

“Yes, his cousin Kate is doing a thanksgiving reunion at her house, there’s going to be some arrow shooting competition”, the redhead explains in excitement.

“What?” he asks in surprise.

“They live in the Hamptons”, she responds like it’s nothing.

“Oh, excuse me, the Hamptons”, he blows a low whistle and Natasha chuckles.

***

“So what did you study?” Bernie asks over her pumpkin spice latte.

“I’m an art mayor”, Steve answers before taking a sip from his cup of coffee.

“For real? Me too!”, she cheers, “well, more like an understudy, but right now I’m studying to be a lawyer”, she informs proudly.

“That’s cool, kind of a jump, don’t you think?” He frowns his eyebrows.

“I only really liked glass blowing so I knew it wasn’t for me, and law has been treating me so nicely, I love it”, she nods.

“Well, at least you found something you really like”, he says trying to sound cheerful and failing.

“Yeah, and there’s so many work possibilities here in New York, I’m already interning for a firm”, the woman adds proudly.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Yes, they do work for STARK industries”, she informs.

“That’s awesome, I’m actually friends with…” Steve says.

“Oh, doesn’t everyone have a friend working at STARK now?” she interrupts waving a hand at him.

“I guess…” He says but it sounds more like a question.

“It’s like the new thing, working at STARK”, Bernie smirks.

“Yeah”, he shrugs lamely.

“I once met Tony Stark at a party, he is not as tall as one is lead to believe”, she comments.

“Tell me about it”, he nods.

“You’ve met him? I took a selfie with him that day”, she announces proudly.

“Uuuh, yeah, that’s what…” he says before she interrupts him, _again_.

“His girlfriend Pepper Potts has an incredible sense of fashion, she seems a bit bitchy though”, she says flipping her hair to the back of her shoulders.

“She’s not”, he answers angrily. _She doesn’t even know her!_

“I used to have red hair, maybe I’ll color it again, what do you prefer?” Bernie asks talking really fast.

“Hair color? I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter”, he says.

“But if you had to choose?” the girl insists.

“Brown, maybe?” He shrugs shyly.

“Really? I feel like it’s so blah though”, she frowns her lips.

_I don’t know what to say, I’m not remotely interested._

_I feel like such an asshole._

***

“So…” Natasha says walking towards the table with their plates of food, “what happened during Halloween”, she asks.

“You remember about the thing at Coney Island, right?” he says.

“Yes”, she nods.

“So, during Halloween, we made up”, Bucky looks down at his hands on the table.

“I figured as much by the way you two were dancing”, Natasha chuckles and the brunet blushes.

“I didn’t want to leave the party early, and Steve offered to bring me home”, he adds.

“But…” Natasha waves a hand at him to make him continue.

“I wanted to go to his house”, Bucky fiddles with a napkin, trying to avoid Natasha’s eyes.

“Okay”, she says simply.

“We kinda had sex, not all the way you know, but we did stuff”, he confesses.

_Hot, sexy and amazing stuff._

“So, what’s the problem?” His friend asks confused.

“Well, in the morning I decided we should stay just friends”, Bucky says biting down on a piece of bread.

“Why? You are completely infatuated with him”, Natasha’s voice is a bit louder now.

“Yeah but…” he starts. _I can’t tell her about Peggy, I can’t tell talk badly about Steve to one of his friends, that’s not right,_ “I felt that Steve doesn’t have the same feelings for me”, he adds lamely.

“Did you ask him?” Natasha questions.

“No, but I could tell”, he says.

“Why do you keep assuming things about people?” She sounds annoyed.

“I’m not assuming, I’m pretty sure about this”, he raises voice a little, almost yelling.

“Did Steve literally say that? Did he do something to make you feel this way?” She wonders.

“I’m sure about this, ok? Steve probably felt that I was into him and he saw an opportunity for both of us to feel good, or maybe, I don’t know…” he huffs running a hand through his hair before he rests his face on the heel of his hand.

“See? You don’t know, I think you should be honest with Steve, also with me, I know you’re not telling me everything”, she demands.

_Natalia, you can always look right through me._

“You don’t have to tell me right now, but you should talk to Steve about this, he’s my friend and so are you, and I think you owe it to yourself”, she squeezes Bucky’s forearm.

“I guess so…” He shrugs one shoulder.

“So, this explains everything else…” she says before taking a sip of her iced tea.

“What?” He asks curiously.

“Darcy told me Steve was going on a date today”, Natasha informs.

“What?!” Bucky yells in surprise, a sudden impulse to flip the table in front of him, but he doesn’t do it.

_What the fuck?_

***

_I wonder what Bucky did today, he probably finished his work at Stark and rode his bike back through the Brooklyn bridge, he probably stared at the water for a while before going back home, taking the main street, up that diner he always likes to go to on the weekends, walking up the front steps and making himself some dinner, maybe Nat is there. Let’s pretend she isn’t, he would fix something up, kick off his boots and sit on the couch reading while having dinner, ignoring all vegetables._

Steve realizes he isn’t alone in his house while a movie plays on the background. He’s out, at a coffee shop, with a girl while he’s daydreaming. Bernie is talking about something, something to do with… _shoes?_

“Bernie”, the blond says all the sudden.

“Yeah?” She asks.

“I really can’t do this right now…” he confesses.

“Steve…” she says.

“I know, no buts, so no buts….” He sighs before he continues, “the thing is, I’m in love with someone”, Steve passes his hands through his face to calm himself, “this is the first time I’ve said it out loud, I guess it’s the fact that you don’t know me or this person, that’s why I can be honest with you, things aren’t exactly working between us, that’s true, and here comes the first but…” Steve says, “but I can’t see myself with anyone else, I know you and I, maybe in another time we could have gone out on a fun date, but not right now”, he shakes his head looking down at his hands holding his cup.

“That’s ok, Steve, I like your honesty”, the girl says, “I won’t push you to change your mind, I can tell you really care about this person, I can’t get in between love”, she comments with a smirk.

“Thanks Bernie for understanding”, he says sadly.

“I think I’m not the one you should be telling this, this person is a fool if they let you go”, Bernie adds.

“I really hope you find someone you feel the same way about”, Steve offers a small smile, “I’m going to go now, that guy over there has been eyeing you since we got here, probably waiting for me to stand up”, Steve comments nodding his head towards the back of the place.

“Seriously? Is he cute?” She wonders not being subtle about staring at the other man.

“Yeah, he seems nice”, he shrugs.

_Not any way near Bucky, but he’s okay._

“Okay, get out of here”, Bernie demands smiling at him, “but Steve…” she says

“Yeah?” He turns to face her.

“Tell them how you feel”, the girl says.

“I probably won’t drop love exactly but I’ll be honest”, he sighs heavily.

“Good luck”, she nods and Steve smiles waving her goodbye.

***

Bucky rests his head back in the couch pushing back the tears that are threatening to leave his eyes, he grabs a cushion and places it over his face to scream on it, all the frustration and anger making his head hurt and his throat burns.

“James, c’mon, you told him you were only friends”, Natasha reminds him.

“But he’s already going on a date”, he whines.

“It’s been like two weeks”, the redhead says.

“It’s been eleven days, and it’s Veterans Day, who the fuck goes on a date on Veterans Day?!” he yells in desperation.

“Listen to yourself, James”, Natasha demands, “Steve was probably having a bad day, he always leaves flowers at the cemetery at some time during Veterans Day, maybe he wanted to take his mind off the fact that he’s by himself”, she comments.

“We could have hung out if that was the case”, he sniffles.

“James, he thinks you don’t want anything to do with him aside from being just friends”, Natasha says.

“So friends can’t hang out?” he shouts, his voice full of tears.

“Why are you acting like this? You have no reason to be upset, you brought this on yourself”, she points a finger at him.

“Aaagh, Natalia!” he waves his hands at the air.

_She’s right, she always is._

“This is the conclusion I have come up with the information you have given me”, she raises her eyebrows at him and he huffs crossing his arms over his chest.

“He’s just like Brock, he really is”, Bucky whispers looking down at his lap, a few silent tears falling down his cheeks.

“What did you just said?” Natasha says, she sounds mad, even a bit offended, Bucky looks up to see her standing close to him, her hands placed on her hips and a defensive expression on her face.

“Forget about it”, he shakes his head.

“I heard what you said, but did you?” Natasha questions, her voice demanding and angry.

“Yeah, Nat, but…” Bucky sighs deeply.

“James, stop, just stop, do you seriously think that Steve is like Brock?” she asks but Bucky doesn’t answers, “do you?!” she asks again, her voice a bit louder, “Steve Rogers and Brock Rumlow?” Natasha says, but she sounds different, almost sad or disappointed.

Bucky takes a deep breath and shakes his head, “no”, he whispers.

“I can’t hear you”, the read head says with a stern voice.

“No, he’s not”, he says, more to himself than to her.

“That’s right, he’s not like him”, Natasha says, “get that in your head”, she demands and takes a sit next to him, she grabs his hand and squeezes gently cleaning a few of his tears with her other hand.

“Aghhh! I know, I know”, he assures nodding, “so you think I should just tell him how I feel and everything will be fixed?” He wonders.

“Yes”, she says plainly standing back up.

“Okay”, he whines some more.

“Quit being such a dummy, I’m going to sleep”, she announces.

“Goodnight”, Bucky sighs sadly.

_It’s not going to be that easy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was Bernie annoying AF or what?
> 
> >:(


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since a lot of you got mad because of Bernie, I decided to upload this chapter as well.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> :*

It’s Wednesday morning, _Wednesday at six in the fucking morning_ , Bucky didn’t sleep at all, Natasha told him the night before that Steve went out on a date and he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it since. He’s glad he finally had a talk with her, he agreed on being just friends with Steve, but just thinking about Steve with someone else makes him feel sick to his stomach, it’s even worse than when he saw Peggy that morning.

_It was a date not just sex, he might like this girl, he might become her boyfriend, he might fall in love with her, he might ask her to move in with him, he might marry her and I can’t have that, I just can’t, not until I tell him how I feel._

Natasha is right, _as always_ , he’s just being stupid, he’s well aware that he agreed to walk away from this to prevent getting hurt, because Steve might not like him as much as he likes Steve, _but I’m just being a coward_.

Bucky’s been avoiding these feelings for far too long and he needs to do something about them, he doesn’t care if he gets rejected anymore, he’s been able to handle it on other occasions, he knows that this is probably going to be the worst but he’ll live, _right?_

So he promises himself that as soon as the clock hits seven p.m. he’s going to head to Steve’s house and tell him everything, _because I just can’t have this anymore, because I want all or nothing from Steve, because I can’t keep kidding myself like this._

_Because I’m selfish, because I want Steve all for myself._

***

Steve wakes up as soon as his alarm goes off, his ribs still bother him, and chest is yet full of bruises and his knuckles are quite red, thankfully not that swollen since he’s been using the ice pad he has on the freezer. His friends didn’t react badly when he came clear about his fight with Brock, and he’s grateful for that. Now the only problem is the relationship with Bucky, _or the inexistent relationship with Bucky._

He though it was going to be easy, to put his feelings aside and continue with his life, be friends with Bucky and see what life brings him. He went out with that girl last night and it didn’t go so well, _it was basically an “it’s not you, it’s me” situation._

Steve just couldn’t think about anything else but the look on Bucky’s face when he saw him all beat up, and Steve wanted to crawl under Natasha’s desk, Bucky stared at him with such disappointment that it almost made him regret the whole fight, _almost._

The blond’s finally been able to eat a proper meal instead of the soft, tasteless and annoying baby food he’s been having, _I need a juicy prime rib, goddamn it!_ But that will have to wait for later on, right now he goes to the kitchen and cooks breakfast: eggs, pancakes and bacon, juice, fresh fruit and maybe some cereal.

_I just love food, okay? Don’t judge me._

***

Bucky works at Stark Tower all day, it’s almost time for lunch and he really needs to stand up, _my back is killing me_. He stretches and starts walking towards the cafeteria on his floor.

He’s been quiet all morning, replaying on the back of his mind all the things he wants to say to Steve as soon as he goes to his house. Bucky’s turning around on a corner when he hears loud cheers and people chatting, the noise is coming from inside the cafeteria, when he gets closer, he notices that Tony is hugging someone.

“I’m so glad you’re back, honey bear”, Tony says to the man.

“Am I interrupting something?” Bucky asks clearing his throat.

“Hey, don’t get all jealous on me, there’s plenty of Tony for everyone”, Tony puckers his lips and starts to make kissy noises.

“Eww, as if, Anthony”, Bucky frowns his nose.

“Hey Buckmaster, I want you to meet my best friend in the whoooooole wide world, besides Bruce of course, this is Colonel James Rhodes”, Tony says wrapping his arm around the person beside him. He’s a tall, well built man, soft and warm smile, dark skin, short black hair, and deep brown eyes with a stare that only the men in the military share.

“Just call me Jim, or Rhodey, whatever’s fine”, he extends his arm.

“Well, just call me Jim, I’m Bucky”, the brunet jokes shaking the offered hand.

“I like him Tony, he’s funny, not like the usual people that work here”, Rhodey laughs out loud.

“He works as a consultant, languages are his specialty”, Tony explains and Bucky nods in agreement.

“A man with a talented mouth, eh?” Rhodes teases.

“So they say”, Bucky smirks.

“Okay, first you try to steal Steve away from me and now Rhodey, you’re a monster”, Tony puts a hand over his mouth and pretends to cry.

“Now who’s acting jealous? I just got here, relax” Rhodes says patting Tony’s shoulder.

“You’ll see Bucky, Rhodey here just got back from Afghanistan or wherever, he works on the aircraft department from time to time”, Tony comments.

“Oh, nice”, Bucky nods smiling.

“Yeah, we were actually about to go down to inspect some new project, care to join us?” Rhodes offers.

“I’m not sure if I’m allowed to do that”, Bucky shakes head.

“Of course you are, you’re with me”, Tony winks pulling Bucky by the arm towards the elevator.

***

“So how did it go?” Darcy asks as soon as he walks inside the shop.

“How did what go?” Steve wonders taking off his jacket.

“Oh c’mon, your date!” She huffs. _Oh, right._

“Not so well”, he says while he checks the appointments book.

“Hate to state the obvious, but we already know why, it wouldn’t have worked out”, the brunette offers him a cheeky smile nodding.

“We do? Why is that?” Steve wonders lifting an eyebrow at her.

“Because she’s not Bucky, duh!” Darcy giggles.

“Aaaaaagghhhhhh, I hate you, all of you!” Steve throws his arms at the air walking away to his working station.

“No, you don’t”, Darcy singsongs behind him.

He’s getting his stuff ready for the fist appointment of the day, the guy that made the appointment for today just listed himself as ‘Nomad’, _that can’t be his name, right?_ He’s getting tattooed an eagle on his chest, traditional style. Steve hears the bell of the front door and Darcy comes seconds later to let him know that the guy has arrived.

“Hey, surprise!” The guy says turning around taking off his sunglasses, he lifts his arms waiting for a hug. He’s a bit shorter than Steve, long blonde hair parted on the side, well built, manly features and a little rough around the edges, but Steve can recognize those lazy brown eyes anywhere.

“Jack? Jack Monroe, is that you?” Steve asks surprised, embracing the man into a tight hug.

“Look at you man, you’ve outgrown me!” Jack says looking up and down at Steve.

“Well, I’m older than you, you know”, Steve points a finger at the man.

“And as usual, always getting into fights, but don’t explain: the guy had it coming, you fight my friend you fight me too, fight the good fight, I’ve never turned my back on a fight, and yadda, yadda, yadda, believe me, I know!” Jack jokes in a mocking voice pointing at Steve’s hurt face, the blond just laughs softly.

_Well, he’s not wrong._

“I’ll take that as you already know each other”, Darcy comments.

“You see, the first time I met Steve here, I was getting beat up in the back of the school and next thing I know, this little chicken legs blond kid is trying to fight back against the guy that was hitting me, he didn’t even flinch once”, Jack explains, “and I remember thinking ‘what is this twelve year old doing in high school’ and he turned out to be older than me, although I was bigger in size at the time”, he adds.

“It does sound like the Steve I know”, the girl chuckles.

“No but seriously, its good to see you”, Steve says, “Nomad?” he asks frowning his forehead.

“It’s just a stupid nickname, I knew you’d recognize my name, that’s why I didn’t write it down and went with that instead”, Jack shrugs.

“Okay, let’s get started”, Steve says cheerfully, clapping his hands.

***

Bucky is amazed by all the labs and workshops at the Stark Tower, he’s been to a few before, but nothing like this, the kind of work that they develop in this industry is so advanced that feels like traveling through time, _like going into the future._

The hours fly away and next thing he knows he’s upstairs in his office and it’s almost 7 o’clock, that’s when his nerves star to kick in, he’s starting to regret it but he knows he has to do it. Bucky can be lots of things: stubborn, possessive, ungrateful, whiny, and rude, and all sorts but never a coward, until Brock, _and that stops now._

He replays his speech on his way to Steve’s house, he thinks the best way to approach him and make him understand what he feels is coming clean, but he doesn’t know how to do it without rubbing at Steve’s face how he made him feel when he saw Peggy that day or when he found out that he was going out on a date.

_Shit, what if he’s not there? What if he’s out with her? Or even worse, what if she’s there? What if they’re having sex and I open the door to find them wrapped around each other on the couch? On that couch that I have fallen asleep on._

Bucky hurries to Steve’s house, he doesn’t care what the outcome will be, _no, that’s a lie, of course I care_ , but whatever it is he will have to take it, he just needs to pull this out of his chest because it’s eating him from the inside out, slowly and painfully.

As soon as he’s standing on the street in front of Steve’s house, he feels like crying, because the last time that Bucky was there was more than a week ago and the brunet told Steve he had better things to do, right there in that little porch, it was so rude of Bucky, also a complete lie, _there will never be anything better than Steve._

He takes a few deep breaths, he wants to push the door open, run inside and never get out, _but what if…_

***

Steve gets home at 7:30, goes straight upstairs and changes into some cozy pants and hoodie, he’s not going to the Red Room this week, _Natasha’s orders_ , and he knows he’s probably going to go mad with all this time on his hands, _gladly I have an huge movie collection_.

He moves down to the kitchen and puts on a bag of popcorn in the microwave, he’s waiting for them to pop, looking down at the bag spinning when he notices that Captain stands up quickly from his bed and runs to the door, next thing he knows, he’s hearing his front door fly open, _didn’t I lock it?_ He’s about to reach for the bat he keeps hidden between the fridge and the counter when he hears a familiar voice calling for him, Steve opens his eyes wide and walks over there.

“Steve?” Buck says standing by the door, Captain by his side wiggling his tail.

_Traitor dog._

“Bucky?” Steve asks walking into the living room, he tilts his head a little furrowing his brow.

_What is he doing here?_

“Is it true?” Bucky sounds serious, maybe a bit mad.

“Um, what?” Steve wonders in confusion.

Bucky looks down at the floor for a few seconds before he looks up again, his eyes full with rage, “that you went out with a girl last night!” the brunet yells.

“Ye-yes, why are you mad at me for? Aren’t we friends? Aren’t you happy for me?” Steve shakes his head.

_What is wrong with him, now what did I do?_

“No, I’m not, I’m not fucking happy, okay? I’m fucking miserable”, Bucky shouts, his lower lip quivers and his eyes are watery.

“Why? What happened?” Steve questions with a worrying tone.

_I’m so lost here._

“You happened!” Bucky yelps before he kneels down and wraps his arms around Captain, his face buried in the dog’s neck as he sniffs loudly.

“Hey, what was that?” Steve walks towards them, when he’s standing next to Bucky he puts a hand over the brunet’s shoulder carefully. If it wasn’t because of the injuries on his chest, he would’ve carried him to the couch, “come here”, he says instead, offering his hand, Bucky stares at it for a few seconds before he grabs it and follows Steve to sit on the couch, the dog behind them.

They sit down quietly for a few minutes, Steve is so confused, he doesn’t know what to say, _I don’t even know what’s going on._ Bucky is sniffing by his side, his legs folded against his chest, arms wrapped around them, he’s rocking himself back and forth, his forehead rested on his knees. Steve is sitting next to him looking down at his own hands on his lap.

_Here it goes._

“I can’t keep doing this, Buck” Steve says in a small voice. 

_I can’t keep lying to you and myself._

“What?” Bucky looks up, his eyes red, full with unshed tears.

“I can’t keep pretending we’re friends, when clearly it’s not the same anymore”, Steve shakes his head.

_Because I’m in love with you._

“I’m sorry”, Bucky crosses his legs like a pretzel, his elbows against his knees, his face buried on the palm of his hands, and then he sobs deeply.

_I can’t with this._

_I can’t see him like this._

“No Bucky, I’m sorry, it’s just that I can’t be all cool around you and act like I don’t have feelings for you”, Steve confesses placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, the brunet is shaking under his touch, crying even more.

***

_Is he for real?_

“How can you say that?” Bucky asks, anger on his voice, he finally looks up at Steve who’s staring at his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“We-well, I do, I like you”, Steve looks back at him, his cheeks blushed, he retrieves his hand quickly and puts it back on his lap.

“I don’t believe you”, Bucky shakes his head, more tears falling down his face, “not after Peggy, not after you went out with that girl yesterday”, he buries his face into his hands again and cries some more.

“Peggy? What about her?” Steve asks.

“C’mon Steve, I’m not stupid, I know you did something with her after I left”, Bucky says back, waving his arms at the air.

_I just give up._

“Are you serious? Who would do that?” Steve wonders before he burst out in laughter, a rich, full and loud laugh.

_Is he actually laughing?_

“What’s so funny, asshole?” Bucky asks sobbing.

“Oh my god, Bucky, you actually though I had sex with Peggy after you left?” Steve chuckles even more, before he wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck.

“You didn’t?” Bucky questions, his voice muffled against the blonde’s neck.

“Of course not, she was just visiting, her hotel room wasn’t ready”, he explains, and Bucky cries even more, “that’s why you were mad after you came back?” Steve asks.

“Yes!” Bucky whines.

“Oh Buck, you’re an idiot”, Steve says as he sits down further into the back of the couch, dragging Bucky towards him, the brunet is practically sitting on Steve’s lap now, his arms hooked under the blonde’s armpits while Steve’s hand rubs soothing circles on his back.

A few minutes pass like this, until Bucky feels like he has cried enough and _oh boy, I was wrong_ , “you know, I didn’t even want to go out with that girl last night, but I didn’t know how to say no, but when I was there I felt so bad because I couldn’t concentrate on a single thing she was saying, I just kept thinking about you”, Steve explains, his chin resting on the top of Bucky’s head, his arms wrapped tightly around Bucky’s body.

The brunet cries even more at Steve’s comment, waterfalls running down his face, his arm are now folded between them, his palms against Steve’s chest and his face buried against the fabric of Steve’s hoodie that’s soaking wet with Bucky’s tears.

_By this time it was gross, disgusting sobbing._

_How could I be so dumb? How could I believe that Steve would do such a thing? I had been avoiding the subject because I didn’t wanted to hear it from him, now that I do, it makes me feel like the worst person in the world and I didn’t even let him talk that day, we were suffering for nothing._

_I’m such an dumbass._

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry”, Bucky shakes his head trying to sit down straighter.

“Hey, it’s okay”, Steve soothes, resting his hands on Bucky’s clavicles, the brunet looks down to his hands, his face red from crying, eyes swollen and tears drying on his cheeks.

_How can I deserve this man?_

***

Steve is definitely surprised, he did not expected this at all, Bucky is weeping against his hurtful chest, but he doesn’t care, this is Bucky, the man he’s been dying for, crying over his chest, and the only thing that Steve wants to do is hold him and never _ever_ let him go.

“Remember when you told me you were an ugly crier?” the blond questions and Bucky nods, “well, you lied”, Steve smiles a little, passing a hand through Bucky’s long hair brushing it away from the brunet’s face and locking it behind his ears, Bucky is still looking down, sniffing a bit.

“No I didn’t, I bet I look awful”, Bucky whispers as a few stranded tears fall down his cheek.

“Oh baby, look at me”, Steve says gently, Bucky tilts his head upwards slowly and looks up to meet Steve’s eyes, “you can never look awful”, he adds warmly, wiping Bucky’s tears away from his rosy cheeks, carefully trying not to press too much against Bucky’s micro-dermals.

“Shut up”, Bucky chuckles finally, sniffing one last time, “I always screw everything up”, he pouts.

“No, don’t say that”, Steve says, hugging him with one arm, pressing him against his chest, hissing in pain.

“I just can’t believe I thought you’d do such a thing”, Bucky sighs deeply, fiddling with the zipper on Steve’s hoodie, pulling it up and down, until his hand frozes, “Hey, you’re hurt, let me just…” Bucky leans backward completely standing up, Steve feels cold from the missing touch.

“It’s fine, don’t worry”, Steve shrugs looking to the side at Bucky.

Bucky grabs one of the cushions on the other side of the couch and leaves it on Steve’s lap, then he climbs back up into the couch and extends his body next to him, resting the head on the cushion, humming as he adjusts himself. Steve looks down at him, locating his left hand on Bucky’s chest, and the right hand brushing Bucky’s hair away from his face.

_He’s so gorgeous._

“Better?” Bucky asks before he holds Steve’s left hand and plants a gentle kiss on his knuckles.

“Mmhm”, Steve nods, not averting his eyes from Bucky’s face.

They stay like this for a couple of minutes, Bucky isn’t crying anymore, his breathing is calm and slow as Steve runs his fingers through the long strands of soft brown hair, Bucky is looking down at his chest where he’s holding Steve’s left hand with both of his hands.

_I can’t believe this is happening, I still feel like this is a dream that I’m going to wake up from sooner or later, and he’s not going to be here, he’s going to realize that I’m not what he thinks I am, he’s going to find out that I’m not enough and he’s going to leave, everybody does._

“Bucky”, he says softly, drawing Bucky’s attention back to his face.

“Yes?” He asks.

“I just want you to know that I wouldn’t have done anything with you if I didn’t care about you, because I like you, I like you-like you”, Steve confesses nodding his head, “I didn’t want this to be a one-night thing, I don’t do that, you were basically my first”, Steve adds, he chuckles bitterly.

“You’re such a dork, but I like you too”, Bucky giggles back, and Steve sticks his tongue out at him.

***

“So, now what?” Bucky asks finally.

_When do we get married?_

“Mmmm, I don’t know”, He hums teasingly like he’s pretending to think about it, Bucky pouts his lips sadly and Steve smiles to that.

“I’ll tell you what”, Steve says leaning forward to plant a small kiss on Bucky’s forehead and continues, “we take this slow, we already had a second rocky start, remember?” The blond asks.

Of course Bucky remembers, after thinking he was friends with Brock and Steve explained he wasn’t, they introduced each other for a second time a couple of months ago, and then he compared him with Brock again, it made him feel sick to his stomach, but then Steve beat the shit out of Brock and Bucky is seeing everything clearer than water, and now, Brock is completely out of the picture.

“Okay, I’ll take whatever you want to give me, really”, he assures sitting down next to Steve.

“Well, I’ll give you anything you ask me”, Steve says back, and _oh man_ , Bucky is over the moon, a warm feeling inside his belly, his hands are shaking, stomach growling and he wants to squeal and scream in excitement.

“But, with one condition”, Steve points his index finger to the air.

“Anything”, Bucky responds right away, then he gets his legs up the couch and kneels next to Steve, his ass-cheeks resting on his heels as he grabs both of Steve’s hands with his, putting them on the cushion on Steve’s lap.

“You have to tell me this stuff, even if you think it’s the dumbest thing, if I do something you don’t like or you don’t agree with, if you want to ask for something, promise you’ll tell me, okay?” Steve says.

“Deal, I promise, I know I shouldn’t assume anything”, Bucky says shyly.

_Because all this suffering could have been avoided, but my stupidity is too big._

“It’s fine”, Steve smiles and squeezes Bucky’s hand in reassurance.

“Ok, so you said I should ask for things, can you kiss me now?” Bucky smirks, his eyes gentle and soft. Steve fights back a smile, the corners of his mouth pulling upwards as he giggles a bit shaking his head.

The blond smiles big after he gives in, his face bright and features soft, for a moment there Bucky thinks it isn’t going to happen but then it’s there, Steve puts his right hand on the back of Bucky neck, treading his fingers with Bucky’s hair as he clashes their mouths together, their lips soft and warm with the contrasting metal of Bucky’s piercing, lips interlocked with one another.

Then, Bucky moves forward into Steve’s lap again, sitting on top of him, each knee on the side of Steve’s legs, he holds the blond’s head for dear life, now their breathing heavy and fast though their noses, wet and slick tongues rubbing. Steve tastes like mint, like he just washed his teeth, _how convenient_.

The kiss defiantly starts to heat up, Bucky planting small pecks to Steve’s jaw line, the blonde tilts his head back, mouth slightly open, making more room for him, the brunet starts to kiss his way down Steve’s neck as his hands roam down the blonde’s chest carefully. Bucky begins to rock his hips back and forth rubbing himself against Steve’s groin, the blonde’s strong hands strategically placed on Bucky’s lower back.

“Bucky”, Steve whispers, breaking the silence of the room, his head over the backrest of the couch.

Steve’s voice is husky, hoarse and full of lust that it makes Bucky shiver under the blond’s grip, he’s currently sucking at Steve’s Adam’s apple, he wants to mark him so bad, to imprint his teeth onto that soft pale skin for everybody to know that Steve is his and nobody else’s, but he’s aware that Steve’s badly bruised right now and he doesn’t want to hurt him anymore, _that will have to wait._

***

_Oh shit, he needs to stop, like right now._

Bucky’s weight on top of his is perfect, the pressure against his crotch makes him feel warm and fuzzy, and having Bucky’s ass rubbing at him is making his pants tight around him, gladly he’s only half hard now but he needs to do something before it’s too late, _before my dick is fully hard and poking against Bucky’s ass._

“Bucky, sweetheart”, he whispers softly, his hands travel from Bucky’s lower back to his shoulders and Bucky hums against his neck, making his little hairs stand up with goosebumps, “baby, you need to stop, we said we were gonna take this slow”, Steve’s voice is more firm this time, he squeezes Bucky’s shoulders gently.

Bucky sits down straighter, his brown hair sticking in different directions while he laughs smoothly, “I know, I just got carried away”, he smirks.

“Tell me about it”, Steve chuckles too, “I was going to watch a movie before you got here, care to join me?” He gives him a toothy smile.

“Sure, just let me call the guys and tell them I’m not going to practice today”, Bucky announces standing up, fishing for his phone inside the pocket of his jeans.

“Hey, if you already have things to do, we can do this some other time”, Steve offers.

“Oh no pal, there’s no way in hell you’re getting rid of me now”, Bucky warns shaking his index finger at Steve as he puts his phone closer to his ear.

_You can stay as long as you want to._

Steve stands up to go to the kitchen, he opens the microwave to pull out the forgotten bag of popcorn and tosses the buttery snacks on a bowl, “what do you want to drink?” Steve yells from where he’s opening the fridge door.

“Whatever is fine”, Bucky says back from the living room.

Steve retrieves the apple juice and serves some on a couple of glasses, humming a little, he’s really glad that everything got sorted out and Bucky is here with him, because the only thing that Steve wants is to make this man happy, _as long as he allows me to._

He turns around with a glass of juice on each hand to see Bucky smirking back at him from where he’s leaning against the doorframe that connects the kitchen with the living room. Bucky is standing there smiling, he has taken his jacket and boots off now, he’s wearing black tight jeans ripped at the knees and a dark grey Henley with all the buttons open exposing his chest, Steve sighs heavily at the view, Bucky looks like he belongs there.

_And he looks damn sexy, that’s why._

***

He’s been staring at Steve for a couple of minutes now, he was serving some juice, and he looks so peaceful in the comfort of his home that makes Bucky feel warm inside, and he’s sure he’ll never get tired of looking at this wonderful man in front of him.

Steve takes a few steps forward closer to him and hands him one of the glasses, the smile on his face is so big and wide that Bucky thinks it must hurt to smile like that, is that amazing and glowing smile that mde Bucky realize he's deeply in love with Steve, _and this here, is reassurance._

“Hi”, Steve says before taking a sip of his glass, “shall we pick a movie?” the blond asks.

“Yes!” Bucky nods stepping aside to let Steve guide him back into the living room.

Steve walks next to him, glass of juice in one hand and the bowl of popcorn in the other, he leans forward into Bucky’s personal space and places a small peck on his cheek and continues walking like it’s nothing, Bucky puts his fingertips on top of the area that Steve just kissed.

_Isn’t he adorable?_

It’s those little things, those small details that make Steve the person he is. It isn’t what people say or believe, it isn’t the people that pushed him around when he was little or the people that made him feel like he isn’t worthy of their attention, _fuck those people._

Bucky is well aware that Steve has issues seeing what other people notice in him, that he doesn’t believe he’s handsome, charming, good looking and much less sexy, but he is, he is all those things and so much more, and if Bucky has to hassle these things inside of Steve’s mind to make him believe he is, he will.

_I will annoy the shit out of him with compliments until he starts to see what I see._

“How about this one?” Steve asks smirking as he holds the blue-ray box of ‘Cry-baby’.

“Ha-ha!” he says sarcastically, “seems appropriate”, Bucky shrugs.

Steve walks towards the TV, “Johnny Depp is sexy in this movie”, the blond comments while he ducks down to put on the disc, he has his back to Bucky.

“You’re sexy”, Bucky smiles to himself, his voice smooth.

And there it is, the way that Steve hunches his shoulders and his muscles tense like every other time that someone makes a compliment about his looks, Bucky can’t see his face, but he’s sure that the blond’s face is at least three shades of red by now, Steve doesn’t say anything.

“Hey, I haven’t told you, I’m leaving”, Bucky informs when Steve comes to sit next to him.

“What? But I though you said…” Steve frowns, and Bucky can see clearly the confusion on Steve’s face.

“Not now dummy, next week, I’m going on tour”, Bucky interrupts him.

“Really? That’s awesome!” Steve smiles but Bucky notices the sadness on his voice.

“Yes, with the Thunderbolts, it was something last minute, it’s only for a week”, Bucky explains.

“Oh, nice, where are you guys going?” Steve wonders.

“Well, I believe we’re driving down to Phili and Baltimore, then Pittsburg and up to Syracuse, Boston and then back, I leave on Monday”, Bucky says.

“That’s cool, everyone is going to love you guys, you’ll see”, Steve nods reaching for the bowl of popcorn, he puts it on his lap before he places his arm on the headrest behind Bucky.

“Yeah, I hope so”, he sighs snuggling against the left side of Steve’s body, his head rested on the blonde’s shoulder, his legs extended on his left side on top of the couch, the brunet hums in comfort extending his arm to grab a fistful of popcorn with his right hand.

Steve’s fingers from his left hand are tracing circles and 8 shapes onto his left bicep, then he kisses Bucky’s forehead as he settles in place and turns his view to the screen, and Bucky knows he can die happy, right there in that moment.

***

They watch the movie in peace, Bucky humming to the songs, because apparently he knows all the dialogues of the movie by memory and Steve wants to mute the TV and listen to Bucky instead.

After that, the menu replays on the background while they sit on the couch comfortably, talking about what Natasha told Bucky, how she said he was being stupid and childish for not being able to accept his feelings.

“And after she told me you went out on a date last night, I didn’t know who I wanted to slap more, if you or her”, Bucky laughs, “but it probably would have been you, I’ve never hit a girl and I don’t plan on doing it”, he adds.

“Well, I would prefer if you didn’t slap anyone”, Steve smiles, “besides, I don’t understand why would you want to”, the blond shrugs.

“Oh Steve, you’re completely clueless sometimes, it’s adorable”, Bucky smirks, Steve looks down at his hands, “anyway, I should get going, it’s almost 12 and I’m probably going to freeze my face with this weather”, Bucky says standing up, stretching his arms over his head, exposing his belly as his shirt rides up, and Steve is now staring.

_Should I tell him? Maybe is just too much for one night._

_Agghhhhh, just do it._

“Hey Buck, you can stay here, you know? We said we’re taking this slow so we don’t have to do anything, besides it’s not like I can, my ribs will probably kill me if I did”, Steve says shyly, blushing slightly at the request.

“Okay”, Bucky answers simply shrugging his shoulders, Steve stands back up to get closer to the other man.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything”, Steve questions looking down at the floor.

“Steve”, Bucky says taking a step forward, closing the distance between them, and then he gently places both of his hands on each side of the curve of Steve’s neck, making the blond look at him. _Those deep gray-blue eyes, and long, thick, brown eyelashes that I could stare at forever_ , “do you want me to stay, yes or no?” Bucky asks.

“Well, yeah but…” Steve starts until Bucky puts his index finger on top of his lips making him shut his mouth.

“Hey handsome, easy question, yes or no?” Bucky says, his eyebrows raising a bit, the corner of his lips tugging up into the tiniest smile, the brunet moves his hands up to cups Steve’s face, his thumbs rubbing at the blonde’s blushed cheeks.

_C’mon Steve, you can do this._

“Mmhm, yes”, he nods, Bucky’s hands and Steve’s head moving all together.

“That’s settled then”, and just like that Bucky lowers his hands, he crosses his arms against his chest, then the brunet is pulling at the hem of his shirt dragging it up slowly over his head, taking the piece of clothing off completely.

Steve has to swallow while his eyes roam from Bucky’s belly, his toned abs, the shinny piercings on Bucky’s nipples, to his clavicles and up his face, he’s not wearing his shoulder brace tonight, Steve knows Bucky is teasing him judging by the satisfied smirk on the brunet’s face. Bucky leans forward and pecks the blonde’s lips before he turns around on his heel, the man walks towards the stairs, swinging his hips obscenely as he climbs each step. Steve shakes his head and chuckles to himself.

_This is going to be so difficult._

He proceeds to check Captain’s plates, he closes the doors properly, turns off the lights and goes upstairs to join Bucky, _to join Bucky that is probably in my bed right now, in my fucking bed._

_Help!_

***

Bucky goes upstairs straight to Steve’s room, he turns the lights on the nightstands on each side of the bed, he takes off his jeans right away, leaving them gracefully misplaced on the floor, the brunet looks for some pants on the drawers on the far away corner on the right side of the room and finds them right away, he pulls on the black sweatpants, they’re a little big on him but he doesn’t mind, he proceeds to take the right side of the bed.

He gets inside the blankets and hisses a bit to the coldness of the sheets, and then he pulls them up covering his face completely. _Oh man, this is life._ He feels the muscles of his back relax against the memory foam of the mattress, _Steve’s bed feels like a marshmallow_ , he’s making little humming noises when he hears Steve clear his throat, Buck folds the blankets a little uncovering from his nose up, Steve is smiling, leaning on the doorframe of the room with his arms folded against his broad chest.

“Any space for me in there?” Steve asks wiggling his eyebrows, Bucky answers by folding out the covers with his left hand to uncover Steve’s side, the blond walks towards the bed, unzipping his hoodie, he’s wearing a white V-neck undershirt and dark gray sweatpants. He sits on the mattress, then carefully lowers himself, lying on his back completely, looking up at the ceiling, Bucky is resting on his side, his right arm folded with his head over the heel of his hand looking at Steve settling by his side.

“It sucks that I have to sleep on my back, but my ribs will probably get crushed if I try to turn”, he says turning his head to his left to face him.

“I know, I wanted to hug you but I don’t want to end up on top of you and hurt you even more, soon though”, Bucky winks.

“I hope”, Steve chuckles softly.

Bucky turns so he’s lying completely over his stomach, his head propped on the heels of his hands scooting closer to the man next to him, Steve folds his left arm and pillows his head with it, their bodies are as physically close as possible and Bucky’s body begins to warm up right away from the heat emitting from Steve’s body.

“What time do you wake up?” Bucky asks.

“Around seven-thirty” Steve responds before he yawns.

“Aaaaaggghhhh, so early!” Bucky whines frowning his forehead.

“What time do you get up? You can stay here longer if that’s too early for you”, Steve offers.

_Oh yes, I’ll love to._

“Nah, I wake up around that hour too, I was just complaining”, Bucky confesses smiling.

Steve chuckles on the back of his throat, the laugh is so husky and hoarse from Steve’s sleepiness that it makes Bucky shiver, that’s one of the sexiest thing he’s ever heard. _How can he look so cute and adorable and yet be so sexy and hot?_ Steve stretches his right hand and brushes Bucky’s hair with his long fingers.

Bucky leans closer bringing their lips together, it’s soft and sweet, eyes closed, wet lips, noses brushing as they share their warm breaths, when Bucky moves back, finally letting go of Steve’s lips, the blonde’s eyes are still closed, a soft smile on the corners of his mouth. _I’m so far gone for this man._ Bucky moves forward again and plants a small kiss on Steve’s lips, on his nose, on each cheek and forehead, Steve hums happily.

He settles his head back onto the pillow, Bucky’s resting on his right side, facing Steve, his head right next to the curve of the blonde’s neck, he holds Steve’s left arm against his chest hugging it with both of his arms, Steve turns his head to the left to rest his cheek on the top op Bucky’s head. The brunet grabs Steve’s hand with his right and interlocks their fingers together, he stays there in quiet for a few minutes listening as Steve’s breathing becomes even and more relaxed while he falls asleep, when he notices Steve is out, he pecks the blond’s shoulder before he joins him on his deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING FINALLY!
> 
> Let me know what you guys think <3
> 
> And as always, thank you all for your encouraging words and feedback.
> 
> Have a good weekend :D


	41. Chapter 41

Strangely, Bucky’s biological clock makes him wake up earlier than the man next to him, he takes a peek over at the clock that Steve has on the nightstand of his side of the bed, it reads 6:45, _six forty fucking five in morning, aaghhhh!_

The room is still a bit dark from the curtains blocking out the sunlight, Steve has his head falling back into the pillow, his mouth slightly open and he’s snoring a little, _and I’m dying because this is so goddamn cute!_

Steve and Bucky aren’t holding hands anymore but Bucky remains hugging the blond’s arm tightly against his chest, he lets out a deep sigh as he loosens his grip around Steve’s arm to stretch his hands, but then he notices he has a situation on the downstairs department.

_Right!_

_I totally forgot about that, morning wood, thank you Mother Nature._

His dick is hard, the swollen head rubbing against the fabric of his boxers and the pants he’s wearing, and only a few inches away from Steve’s leg, he lets go of the blond’s arm completely and slides away carefully, trying not to wake up the other guy.

The brunet stands up and walks towards the bathroom silently, he picks up his forgotten jeans on his way there, he figures he should take a shower because it’s almost time for Steve’s alarm to go off, he looks down at his crotch before he opens the door, _besides I need to take care of this thing._

***

Steve wakes up as soon as the alarm cries at 7:30, he stretches his arms slowly to his sides, but then he freezes in place, no one is next to him, _again_. No smart, beautiful and gorgeous brunet is lying at his left side and his heart sinks further into his stomach.

_How could I think that had been real?_

He sits quickly on the bed, his chest hurts but he doesn’t care, he just wants to scream, and run, and cry, but he doesn’t do any of those things. Steve tries to calm himself down when he stands up but fails as soon as he notices that Bucky’s jeans aren’t on the floor where he had left them the previous night.

 _He’s definitely gone,_ Steve walks to the drawers to pull out some clean underwear and socks; _maybe I did something wrong,_ he closes the drawer and walks to the closet to grab a shirt and jeans; _maybe he finally understood that he deserves better_ ; he manages to hold his clean clothes with one hand and pull off his shirt with the other, _maybe he realized that this is all a mistake like he said before_ ; he moves towards the bathroom, the door is slightly open, the lights are on and he’s a hundred percent sure that the water on the shower is running, _or maybe, just maybe, he hasn’t left yet._

Steve stands outside the bathroom for a few seconds to try to figure out who’s in his bathroom, _what if it isn’t him?_ He’s holding his clean clothes against his chest with both hands, hoping that the person that’s using his shower is Bucky. Moments later, he feels his stomach unknot, his shoulders relax and sighs deeply.

_Is he singing Lana Del Rey?_

“Promise you'll remember that you're mine, baby can you see through the tears…” somebody sings in a soft voice from inside the bathroom.

_Yes, that’s Bucky alright, and that’s definitely ‘Blue Jeans’ by Lana del Rey, that’s so odd._

Steve’s actually surprised because Bucky can sing, _like holy shit, he’s really good_ , this is way different that the noises, the screaming, and grunting that the brunet does with the Howling Commandos, and Steve could’ve stayed outside of the bathroom for a long time listening to Bucky sing but he knows he’s going to run late if he does.

He chuckles to himself about the panic attack he almost went through when he woke up and thought Bucky had left, _that was close_ , he leaves his clean clothes on top of the bed and goes to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

***

Bucky gets inside the bathroom and the first thing he does is look around for something to help his hard erection go away quicker, he finds a jar of Vaseline on one of the drawers of the bathroom.

_Fuck it, this will have to do._

He takes off his clothes and spreads some of the petroleum jelly into his right hand, he tilts his head back, furrows his brow and shuts his eyes tightly as soon as his hand squeezes at the red tip of his dick, he strokes himself hard and fast, a few muffled cries threaten to leave his mouth while he comes on his hand, curling his toes against the cold tile of the bathroom floor, imagining it’s Steve’s hand doing the work. It’s lame and way fast, but he doesn’t care much, he grabs some toilet paper to clean up his mess and proceeds to take his much-needed shower.

The warm water feels relaxing against his skin, big droplets running down his body as he concentrates to washes his now long hair, Bucky is humming happily while he cleans himself properly, even singing for a bit, something that he normally does, but today he even feels like dancing and shouting at the top of his lungs because saying he’s happy is an understatement, _I’m goddamn blissful!_

As soon as he’s finishes, he dries himself and puts on his boxers and the same jeans he was wearing the day before, _I’ll just change them when I get home_ , he notices that Steve isn’t in the bed anymore, he goes over to the closet to pull out a t-shirt and a hoodie, he doesn’t even bother to look at the graphics on them. Bucky returns to the bathroom to look around for a hairbrush, he’s fighting with the knots on his hair when he makes a mental note to shave soon, his stubble is starting to grow, and Natasha always teases him about it, saying he looks like a hobo.

_Speaking of Natasha._

Bucky shifts back into the room to look for his phone, he finds it on the nightstand and checks for new massages or calls but he doesn’t have much but a few notifications from Facebook and Instagram.

 **Bucky:** Hey Nat, just checking in, sorry I didn’t tell you I wasn’t coming back last night, but I’m ok :)

He puts away his phone not waiting for an answer and heads downstairs to go find Steve, when he lowers the stairs he can hear the dirty and angry riffs coming from the vinyl player, Steve has Black Flag’s ‘Damaged’ on, Bucky smiles wide because it’s one of his favorites.

_Shit, that is such a good album._

Bucky walks to the kitchen and stops by the door, Steve has his back to him, he’s doing something over the stove, the blond isn’t wearing a t-shirt and Bucky leans against the doorframe to appreciate the view, Steve’s shoulder to waist ratio is impossible, he has really broad shoulders for such small waist that makes him look like his body was made on the _fucking_ Mount Olympus. The brunet wants to lick every single inch of his body and make all the bruises and scratches go away, but he can’t deny the look is arousing.

He’s enjoying every single minute of this just staring at the man in front of him, Steve moving comfortably in his kitchen, then Bucky eyes the table next to him, the plates in place, a bowl of sliced fruit in the middle, the place mats and silverware. Everything is so perfect that Bucky wants to cry, he’s never been a fan of the apple pie life but he’s willing to eat every single pie that Steve bakes if that means he gets to keep him forever.

_Not that I’m complaining about pies._

Captain comes inside into the kitchen through the pet door that connects the kitchen to the backyard and goes straight to where Bucky is standing, Steve follows the dog with his eyes until he meet Bucky’s, the brunet smiles before he ducks down to pet the dog behind his ears.

“How long have you been standing there?” Steve asks returning his eyes to the stove and Bucky can hear the smile on the blond’s face.

“Long enough”, Bucky says standing up again.

_Long enough to know I’m head over heals for you._

“This is almost done”, Steve informs.

Bucky walks over to Steve and sits on top of the kitchen counter right next to the stove, he’s facing Steve who looks peaceful staring down at the pan, his blond and long eyelashes fanning out on his cheeks.

“Good morning”, Bucky says cheerfully.

“Hi”, Steve finally looks up with that huge ear to ear smile that Bucky loves so much, the blond’s hair is sticking out in different directions, and Bucky feels overwhelmed all over again at the sight of Steve’s chest, his abdomen and ribs area still pretty bruised and he just wants to kiss them better.

“How come you just woke up and you’re still able to look like that”, he nods at Steve’s general direction, “all handsome, sexy and brighter than the fucking sun, it’s not fair for us mortals, you know?” Bucky smirks but there’s nothing else but kindness in his eyes.

“Bucky, I…” he starts before Bucky interrupts him, the blonde’s cheeks are blushed a cute tone of pink.

“Come here”, Bucky demands stretching his arms for Steve to hold.

Steve turns off the stove and takes a couple of steps to his left, he situates himself between Bucky’s legs, his hands rested on the side of Bucky’s thighs on the counter, and the brunet carefully places his hands on Steve’s ribs.

“You smell good”, Steve ducks down and kisses Bucky’s neck.

“Well, I smell like you”, Bucky hums.

“Breakfast is gonna get cold”, Steve informs pointing at the pile of French toast in the middle of the stove.

_Damn, that looks good, but it can wait a couple of minutes._

***

“I know this”, Steve passes a hand through Bucky’s chest. The brunet is wearing a gray t-shirt, the fabric of the pocket black, and a ‘Madball’ black zip-up hoodie.

_My shirt and hoodie actually._

_He can leave me living with one shirt and a hoodie and I wouldn’t even mind, he can have all my clothes if he wants to._

“You know, I think I made a good choice in coming here last night”, Bucky smiles warmly and Steve grins back looking at him right in the eyes.

_Tell me about it._

Bucky moves his hands up tracing every inch of his chest, Bucky’s hands are gentle, a bit cold but soft, then Bucky places them on each side of his neck and pulls him into one quick kiss before he starts to kiss his way down to Steve’s throat and chest.

“Buck, I’m disgusting right now, I haven’t even showered yet”, Steve says with his eyes closed, his head tilted back a little, as soon as those words leave Steve’s mouth he feels Bucky going still in front of him.

_I probably smell horrible._

_I can’t even begin to think how I taste like._

“Steve, I’m going to say this and I want you to pay attention, but I’m going to keep saying it until you start believing it”, Bucky’s voice is serious but his eyes are soft and kind, he sighs before he continues, “you are not disgusting, not right now, not ever, not back then when you were sick and tiny and definitely not today, you can never be disgusting”, the brunet says, Steve has to look down because his eyes are beginning to fill with tears. He sniffs a bit and Bucky grabs his chin between his index finger and his thumb making him look up.

It was just a stupid comment at the top of his head, not actually meant to sound so depressing, a simple joke, but Bucky gets him, he knows, the man is starting to read Steve well enough to know when he needs some reassurance, Steve’s not sure if he should be scared or glad.

_Where has this man been my whole life?_

“What do you say if we go eat now?” Bucky smiles and wipes away a lonely tear that’s falling down Steve’s cheek, the blond just nods.

Bucky launches his arm at Steve’s neck hugging him tightly, Steve returns the hug by placing his hands around Bucky’s hips, “besides, if I give you kisses it’s gonna be whenever and wherever I want to, and you are going to like them”, Bucky whispers against Steve’s ear, his voice playful and his breath warm, and Steve chuckles awkwardly.

_How can I go from crying one second and the other he’s making me feel aroused?_

“I won’t object to that”, Steve smirks, the sadness on his face completely gone by now.

They go to sit around the table, eating and talking about what the day has in store for them, and Bucky’s excitement about his upcoming tour, Steve missing his workout and feeling useless, Bucky’s crazy adventures at the Stark Tower and so on.

“I swear, Tony is obsessed with you”, Bucky says chewing on a piece of melon.

“No, he isn’t”, Steve shakes his head after he cleans his milk moustache with a napkin.

“He’s always asking me about you, saying I want to steal you away, and I do but he gets on my nerves sometimes”, Bucky sighs.

“Well, I know he means no harm, besides you have nothing to worry about, he’s not my type”, Steve informs.

“And what’s your type?” Bucky teases wiggling his eyebrows.

“You are”, Steve gives him a cheeky smile before he grabs his plate, he’s about to stand up when Bucky stands up first and takes the plates from his hands.

“You go get ready, I can clean up here”, the brunet kisses the top of Steve’s head before walking away into the kitchen and the blond goes to do as told.

His clean clothes are still on top of the bed where he left them, Steve’s glad that when Bucky saw his bruises again he didn’t say anything about them or asked about the fight either, he goes straight to the bathroom, takes his pants and boxers off and opens the water spray at its fullest.

The hard pressure of the warm water against his back feels comfortable, he tries not to get too worked up about what Bucky said, about him not being gross, he didn’t mean it like that at the moment but he’s surprised of how well Bucky knows him. Steve is well aware that he doesn’t look like he used to, and he doesn’t feel as bad anymore but hearing Bucky’s reassurance, just like he did back then at photo-shoot on the Red Room, makes him start believing those compliments.

As soon as he cleans himself properly, he opens up the shower curtain and reaches for the towel, instantly, he feels like the smile that’s spreading through his face might break it in two; on the bathroom mirror, that is now covered in steam from the hot water, are a bunch of little hearts drawings that probably Bucky drew after he finished his own shower. _He’s going to drive me crazy, how is he even real?_ Steve shakes his head side to side, the smile still on his lips; he puts on his clothes and fixes his hair, then walks to the closet to grab a jacket before heading downstairs.

And if the little hearts on the bathroom mirror weren’t enough to make Steve’s heart skip a bit the scene in front of him does, he’s looking for Bucky but the man isn’t in the living room or the kitchen, he peeks outside to his little backyard through the window on top of the kitchen sink, and there he is, the brunet is lying down on the grass laughing out loud, kicking his legs all over the place, with Captain on top of him licking his face and hands.

_No, he can’t be real, I’m dead, I swear._

***

“Look who’s all clean and handsome”, Bucky says walking inside, Steve blushes a little but he doesn’t flinch this time.

_We’re getting somewhere._

“And look who isn’t so clean anymore, but still handsome”, Steve takes a step forward and runs his hands through Bucky’s hair, a few pieces of grass falling on the floor, Bucky just smiles playfully.

“Sadly, as much as I will love to stay here all day, I have to go to work”, Bucky informs.

“Yeah, me too”, Steve says back walking towards the living room, he grabs his keys and puts on his jacket while Bucky does the same, he checks for his phone and wallet before both of them walk outside of the house.

Steve is locking the front door and Bucky unlocks his bike, “you aren’t taking Captain over to Miles’ today?” Bucky asks.

“I’ve been dropping him almost everyday, and sometimes Miles just comes over after school to play with him, he has a key”, Steve answers.

“Oh, that’s cool”, Bucky says lowering the small steps of the little porch, Steve right behind him.

Steve walks Bucky to the sidewalk in front of the house, he’s on his bike, balancing it with one foot on the ground and the other on the pedal, Steve gets closer to him and Bucky turns his torso a bit to the side so he’s facing him.

The blond puts a hand over Bucky’s cheek and ducks his head tilting it to the side to bring their lips together, and just like that they kiss right there in front of Steve’s house, Bucky has to grab tightly the handle bars of his bike to prevent launching himself against Steve and make out on top of the cold concrete.

“Have a good day, okay?” Steve whispers against Bucky’s lips, his eyes still closed.

“You too, I’ll text you later”, Bucky hums happily.

Bucky rides off to work feeling like the luckiest man on the planet, he isn’t mad with Tony anymore and he knows nothing can bring his mood down, _not today anyway._

He goes straight to his floor, humming to himself, _damn, what a good day._ As soon as he gets to his office, he finds Tony leaning on the doorframe, holding two cups of coffee, “I’m glad you’re in a good mood today”, the man says.

“Yeah, why is that?” Bucky asks trying to sound serious, passing next to Tony to sit behind his desk.

“Listen Buck-o, I’m not good with words and that sort of thing, but you know, about the other day, so yeah, take this”, Tony extends his hand offering a cup of coffee, Bucky grabs the offered cup, but keeps the expression on his face cold.

_I’m just going to tease him a little._

“Have a seat Anthony”, he points at the chairs in front of him, Tony’s surprised face almost makes him burst out in laughter.

_Oh man, this is priceless._

“Listen Bucky, I…” Tony starts but Bucky interrupts him raising his index finger at him.

“Let me talk”, Bucky demands, his voice steady and hoarse.

_Damn, I should be an actor or something._

Tony has no words to say to that, _for a change_ , he looks genuinely scared and Bucky has to chew the inside of his cheek, “listen very closely because I’m just going to say this one time”, Bucky informs, his arms crossed against his chest and Tony nods quickly, his eyes wide and his eyebrows almost touching his hairline in surprise.

“Steve is not available”, Bucky announces, his face growing serious shaking his head.

“I know, you like him and all, bu…-” Tony panics but Bucky raises his finger at him again, and Tony claps his lips together into a thin line.

“I said Steve is not available, because he’s mine”, Bucky says painfully slow dragging his tongue with a predatory look on his face, Tony looks like he’s legitimately about to wet his pants.

_I know he’s not a thing to own, but I wish you could see Tony’s face, priceless._

_I do want Steve all for myself though._

Tony is almost shaking on his chair, looking around the office and trying to fixate his eyes in anything but the terrifying man in front of him. Bucky can’t take it anymore and the scowl on his face breaks as soon as he burst out with loud laughs that he almost falls from his chair, his hand rubbing at his abdomen from laughing so much, he clears away the tears that leave his eyes, when he finally calms himself, he opens his eyes to look at Tony, who’s staring at him with even wider eyes and wrinkles on his forehead.

“Pfff , I was just fucking with you”, Bucky confesses, waving a hand at Tony.

“Are you kidding me? You have any idea how fucking terrifying that was?!” Tony says in surprise but he starts laughing too.

“No, but seriously Tony, don’t worry about it, we’re cool, thanks for the coffee”, Bucky nods offering a small smile lifting the cup before taking a sip.

“I’m glad we’re okay, that was legit scary, I thought you were gonna murder me!” Tony chuckles some more, running a hand over his goatee.

“Well, you owed me, now where even”, Bucky winks.

“Yeah yeah, what made you so chipper today anyway?”, Tony says taking a sip of his own coffee.

“Steve, Steve did”, he smiles wide and proud.

_Damn, he does, he makes me so happy._

“Oh, really?” Tony wonders wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yeah, we’re a thing now, but we are taking it slow”, Bucky informs.

“That’s good for you, but sad for the rest of us”, Tony shrugs, “I’m glad you guys got your shit together”, the man comments.

“Yeah, me too”, the brunet sighs, “oh, by the way, I’m leaving for tour next week, I already talked to your dad about it, my work for the week is already done, just letting you know”, Bucky says.

“Tour, huh? That’s sweet”, Tony comments.

“Yeah, we’ll see how it goes”, Bucky nods.

“So, I better go now, got shit to do, good talking to ya’, pretty boy”, Tony says standing up and walking away before he stops by the door and turns around, “I said I wasn’t going to intrude anymore but would you mind sending me a picture of his dick? I bet it would make a great wallpaper on my phone”, Tony smirks.

“If I ever take a picture of his beautiful dick it’s going to be for the wallpaper on my phone”, Bucky says putting a hand against his chest followed by a wink.

“Touché”, Tony chuckles.

***

“Steve, do you know what time it is?” Darcy asks as soon as he walks in, he fishes for his phone to see the time.

_What is she talking about? I’m on time._

“Darcy, it’s barely 10:20, we open at 10:30, don’t we?” He lifts an eyebrow at her.

“Exactly, you always get here around 10, same time I do, you’re such a young rebel today”, Darcy laughs.

“Oh c’mon! I got here before we opened, besides I was busy”, Steve informs.

“Busy? You? With what? Your dog?” She smirks teasingly.

“Ouch, thank you”, he says, “but no, with Bucky”, the blond smiles big nodding his head.

“OH MY GOD!” she yells waving her hands at the air.

_More like high-pitched scream, I’m deaf now._

“What in the world is going on here?” Loki wonders as he comes inside the shop and straight to where Darcy is sitting behind the counter, Thor by his side with a confused look on his face.

“Babycakes, Steve and Bucky are together now”, Darcy squeals giving a choking hug to her boyfriend.

“Darling, how many times do I have to tell you that I am not a cake nor a baby?” Loki says ruffling her hair.

“We’re not together like that yet, we are taking it slow”, Steve informs looking down to the appointments book, “Loki, it seems to me that you’ve had your hands pretty full lately”, Steve stares back up again.

“Indeed, apparently piercings are in fashion these days, I am aware that you have been occupied lately, but haven’t you considered expanding our personnel?” Loki questions.

“Yeah, I’ve thought about that, I have a proposition for you guys actually, but we’ll talk about it some other time, yes?” Steve wonders.

“Absolutely!” Thor beams wide.

Steve is about to go back to his workstation when the bell on the front door goes off; he turns his head over his shoulder to see who it is.

“Heimyyyyyyyy!” Darcy jumps off her chair to run and hug the man that’s standing by the door; he receives her with wide arms and a bright smile. The man has dark skin, short black hair, piercing hazel eyes, mustache and beard perfectly trimmed, well built, broad and tall. Steve has seen him before, only once at Thor and Jane’s wedding but Steve doesn’t exactly know him.

“Heimdall, my friend, you have arrived”, Thor cheers walking towards them.

“I hope I got here in time”, the other man nods, “Loki, one question, how come you managed to deceive such a wonderful lady into thinking you are a good man?” Heimdall says in a serious tone but he has a smile on his face.

_Is he actually teasing Loki?_

“As our friends say around here, if I tell you, I will have to kill you”, Loki smirks wrapping his arm around Darcy’s shoulders, she just giggles in return.

“Steven, this is my dearest friend Heimdall”, Thor introduces.

“Hello, nice to officially meet you”, Steve greets the man shaking his hand with a strong grip.

“Same here”, the man smiles, “I have come across with your work several times, you’re quite talented”, Heimdall adds.

“Thanks, I do what I can”, Steve grins.

“Heimdall is the first appointment of mine, he’s getting the almighty Hofund”, Thor informs proudly.

“The what?” Steve asks in confusion.

“This”, Darcy says unfolding a piece of paper that was lying on top of the counter, it has a picture of what it seems to be _a sword?_ “you know how this guys are obsessed with Norse mythology and stuff, Heimy runs a rugby club called ‘The Vikings’, this is their logo”, Darcy explains.

“Oh, I see, that’s nice”, Steve hums.

“Nice indeed, shall we begin?” Thor wonders facing his friend.

“Of course, it’s been a pleasure”, Heimdall bows slightly and Steve nods enthusiastically before the man walks away after Thor.

Steve is about to go to his working station to start his day when Darcy begins shouting at him, “hey, hey, don’t go yet, we haven’t finished our talk!” the brunette demands.

“Darce, I have things to do”, he reminds.

“Okaaaaaaay”, she whines, “but promise me you’ll let me know when are you proposing”, the girl smiles and Steve turns tomato red as he walks to the back.

_He’s not even my boyfriend yet._

_Besides, I don’t think he will be interested in marrying me._

***

“Where were you anyway?” Natasha asks over the phone, Bucky is on his lunch break lying in a couch on the lounge area around the cafeteria.

“I was with Steve”, Bucky can’t help the smile that’s beginning to spread on his lips.

“Stop smiling like an idiot”, Natasha says.

_She’s a spy, I swear._

“Well, some of us actually have feelings”, he jokes giggling.

“Talking about feelings, did you tell him?” She asks.

“Yes, you were right, it worked”, Bucky chuckles a little.

“I’m always right”, she says proudly, “Anyway, I was just checking up on you, are you coming back tonight or when are you moving out?” She teases.

“Ha-ha, very funny”, he brunet rolls his eyes, “we’re taking this slow because I already screwed this up and we weren’t even together”, he adds bitterly.

“Good, only you can screw things up before they even happen”, his friend laughs.

“Oh, fuck you, Natalia!” He yells, no anger in his voice.

“Whatever, I’ll see you tonight then”, Natasha says before hanging up.

He stands up and goes back to his office, he hasn’t texted Steve all day, he doesn’t want to be too pushy or smother him, they didn’t agry on meeting after work or anything but Bucky really wants to see Steve again, he figures he can go to the shop before Steve leaves, but for now he has to work. _Although a small text won’t harm anyone, right?_

 **Bucky:** Hi c:

 **Steve:** Hello, how’s your day going? (:

 **Bucky:** Nothing new, I just had my lunch break

 **Steve:** I’m hungry :( I haven’t had lunch today, lots of work

 **Bucky:** Aww poor thing :c

 **Steve:** Yeah, maybe I’ll eat a protein bar or something. Yummy, right? :p

 **Bucky:** I envy you and your delicious food x)

 **Steve:** Ha-Ha! I knew it!

 **Bucky** : Sure, buddy. Anyway, I’ll let you go back to work, talk to you later XXOO

 **Steve:** Okay :*

_This is happening, this is actually happening._

Bucky sighs loudly and returns to type on the computer, he feels happy for how things turned out the night before, he’s dying to have a piece of Steve again but they agreed on taking things slow, he’ll have to patient.

_I just hope that not too slow._

He can’t believe how his life has changed so much lately, Brock is definitely out of the picture, he doesn’t know what went down exactly and he hasn’t asked Steve about it, _but all in good time._

He’s also excited because he’s going out for their first tour next week, everything has happened so fast that he feels like he’s in a dream, he hopes that they do well on tour. They don’t expect to reach too many people because they’re technically a new band on the scene, and this is not exactly about becoming famous, it’s more about sharing and meeting new people, but he can’t help feeling a little sad too, because he just got well with Steve and now he’s leaving, _it’s only a week, but man, I‘m going to miss him so much._

Bucky brings back his thoughts to reality and continues with his work, eyeing the clock once in a while, hoping that the time will run faster, it will take him about 40 minutes to get to Steve’s shop, and if he wants to get there in time before Steve leaves he has to get on his way around six.

Working as a consultant on the Stark Tower is great because he has no schedule, he doesn’t have to check-in or out, they just give him a project and a deadline; he disposes of his own time as he pleases, meaning he can come and go when he wants, and lets not talk about the pay, _because it’s fucking amazing._ But he’s been missing working as a piercer lately, it’s something that keeps his mind occupied with other things, steady and concentrated, _maybe I should look for a place to do it again._

Bucky spends the next painful and excruciating slow hours in his office, waiting to leave to meet Steve, it’s crazy the need he feels to see Steve, even though they saw each other this morning, but knowing that Steve is going to greet him with that sweet smile of his makes Bucky insane, because he doesn’t want to stop seeing it ever again, because he doesn’t want to spend any other day in his life without Steve in it, simple as that.

He doesn’t say anything to Steve that he’s going, _surprises are better, right?_ As soon as the clock hits six o’clock, he grabs his jacket and puts it on top of his shirt and hoodie, _Steve’s shirt and hoodie to be exact_ , he dusts of his jeans and heads to the elevator.

The ride to the shop is slow but it gave him time to think, about what he said last night, or what happened this morning, he still has a lot to say to Steve, he wants a lot of things with the blond: to be with him all the time, to be his boyfriend, to have sex with him, to make love with him, to build a home with him, but that will have to wait, _we’re not even in a relationship yet_ , but eventually and hopefully Steve will want those things too.

He’s now in front of the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop, looking at the ‘TATTOO’ blue neon sign on top of the shop, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair before he gets to the door, the bell goes of and Darcy looks up from where she’s standing by the piercings display. As soon as Darcy sees him she’s about to say something but he shushes her by putting his index finger to his lips.

“Hi, is he busy?” Bucky whispers with a smile on his face.

“No, his last client just left”, she murmurs back shaking her head.

“Okay, I’m just gonna…” He points to the little hallway that connects the lobby to the working stations, she nods enthusiastically.

Bucky walks silently to the back, Darcy squeals in excitement but she stays behind in the lobby, when he’s outside of Steve’s working station, he notices that the door is open, he takes a peek to see what the blond is doing, he’s putting away some stuff in the shelves and has his back to the door. Bucky leans casually against the doorframe to wait until Steve turns around and sees him.

When Steve finally turns around he doesn’t even look up, he goes straight to the tattoo chair to clean it and Bucky is now feeling desperate _, because I could be a thief or something and he wouldn’t even notice._ Bucky clears his throat loudly, and that attracts the blond’s attention, _finally._

“Hey”, Steve says in surprise, the corners of his lips lifting into a wide smile.

“Do you come here often, sugar?” Bucky jokes giggling his eyebrows and biting his bottom lip, walking to where Steve is standing.

“Well, now that I see you, I might”, Steve shoots back with a smirk extending his arms.

“Oh my god, Steve Rogers knows how to flirt”, Bucky cheers closing the distance between them placing his hands on Steve’s shoulders as the blond locates his on Bucky’s hips.

“Hello there”, Steve says before he kisses Bucky’s cheek.

“How come you look more handsome than you did this morning? How’s that even possible?” Bucky passes a hand through Steve’s hair and places it on the back of his head, scratching the little hairs on the blond’s neck.

_He totally does, he looks more handsome every time I see him._

“Shut up”, Steve blushes, Bucky responds that by bringing their lips together into a sweet and warm kiss, the cold metal of his piercing contrasting with the soft skin of Steve’s lips.

“Are you done with work?” Bucky asks, not letting go of Steve’s neck, the blond’s arms still around his waist.

“Yes, I was about to call you actually”, Steve comments.

“I was going to text you that I was coming here but I figured I’d just stop by”, he says.

“I’m glad you did”, Steve nods.

“So, what do you say if we get you a proper dinner, huh?” the brunet offers.

“I say that sounds great, let me just pick up my stuff,” Steve says before he kisses Bucky’s forehead, the guy hums happily.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you in the lobby”, Bucky adds before leaving the room.

***

Steve sighs loudly, seeing Bucky leaning against the doorframe is like something out of a dream, every time he sees Bucky is like the first time he saw him playing at HYDRA, it feels surreal that with all of the people in this world Bucky will want to be with him, he wants to take every chance he has to be with Bucky.

He fixes his hair and tries to clear his mind, he packs everything back into place; he stands by the door and takes one last look before he turns off the lights. The blond walks back to the lobby where Bucky is talking enthusiastically with Darcy, he grabs his jacket from the coat hanger, as he’s putting the piece of clothing he feels a pair of hands wrapping around his waist, Bucky’s chest against Steve’s back, and the brunet places a peck on the back of his neck.

“Ready to leave?” Bucky asks over his shoulder.

“Yes, I’m starving”, Steve answers.

“I bet, let’s go”, the brunet says walking away from Steve.

“Bye Darcy, see you later”, Bucky kisses the girl’s cheek.

“Hey, do you want us to wait until you close?” Steve wonders.

“Don’t worry, Loki is waiting for me, you go ahead and have lots of sex, okay?” the girl smiles wide.

“Darcy!” Steve whines, his cheeks blushed bright red, Darcy and Bucky giggle loudly.

_Although I want that, I’m not going to lie, I’m only human._

Both of them walks outside the shop into the cold evening, Bucky’s bike is right outside on the rack, Steve waits for him to unlock it, “where are we going?” Bucky asks.

“I don’t know, wherever they have burgers”, Steve shrugs.

“There’s a deli a few blocks from here, they have just what you’re looking for, do you know which one?” the other man wonders.

“I do actually, see you there?” Steve says.

“Yesssss”, Bucky kisses Steve’s cheek before he hops on his bike and takes off.

Steve smiles as he turns towards his bike, he balances it between his legs while he puts on his helmet and turns it on after, hearing it purr back to life under him. He drives to the deli and goes inside, Bucky is already sitting on a table on the back, his face buried behind the menu.

“Do you need time to see the menu?” Bucky asks lowering the sheet.

“No, I already know what I want”, Steve nods sitting across from Bucky.

“Okay”, the brunet says looking around for a waitress; the woman is already walking towards them.

“Hey sweetie, I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” she smiles, her British accent showing a bit, she places a hand on his shoulder and Steve doesn’t miss the way Bucky narrows his eyes at him.

“Hi Jessica, I’m good, and you?” Steve says.

“I’m fine, working my ass off as always”, she comments bitterly, “you want your usual?” the girl questions.

“Yes, please”, he nods and looks back at Bucky, he has his arms crossed over his chest and looks… _annoyed?_

“Oh, Jessica, this is Bucky”, Steve smiles at her.

“Hi”, Bucky answers plainly.

“Hello, what can I get for you?” she asks politely, turning her head to face Bucky.

“I’ll have a turkey sandwich and a chocolate shake, please”, Bucky says.

“Right away”, she nods once and pats Steve’s shoulder before she picks up their menus and walks away to the counter.

Steve looks back at Bucky who’s still staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face, Steve smiles at him but the brunet doesn’t smile back, that makes Steve feel uncomfortable, but he doesn’t know what to say.

“Should I be worried?” Bucky asks, taping his fingers on the table quirking an eyebrow almost teasingly.

“What, why?” Steve frowns.

“You tell me, _sweetie_ ”, Bucky hisses, mocking as he says the last word.

_Is he jealous?_

“You mean, about Jessica?” he wonders.

“Well, yes”, Bucky rolls his eyes exaggeratedly.

“No Buck, she’s uuuh… she’s not interested in men”, Steve informs.

“Woooh, that’s good to know”, Bucky huffs in relief, resting his back against the booth.

Jessica Drew is a beautiful 20-year-old woman, long black hair, green eyes, about 5’10” with thin but muscular body. She’s been working in this same dinner since she was 16 years old and out of the orphanage she lived in after her parents died when she was 5.

“She’s had a tough life and she’s a little rough around the edges but she’s a great girl”, Steve explains.

“That sucks”, Bucky pouts sadly.

“Totally, but she has a lot of friends now, she has this crazy drinking buddies relationship with Clint, it’s so weird”, Steve laughs.

“Yeah, I bet”, Bucky chuckles.

“So, are we okay?” he wonders.

_Why would he be jealous, though?_

“Yes”, Bucky nods and stretches his hands over the table to grab one of Steve’s, squeezing gently.

***

“Here are your drinks, your food will be done in a few”, the girl, Jessica, comes over with their shakes.

Bucky is not the jealous type, never had to be; when it came to relationships and hooking up with people it’s always been easy for him, he knows how to be charming and draw attention when he needs to, but since what happened to Brock he has this need to feel that he has something. Something just for him, he’s become possessive and needy of _his_ friends, _his_ family, _his_ job, besides we can’t blame him for wanting Steve for himself, can we? _His_ Steve, _my Steve._

He knows that Steve is being honest when he says he wants to be with him, and he understands why he wants to take this slow, and Bucky respects that, but he really hopes this can grow into something more serious soon enough _. That is all I dream of lately, I wouldn’t want anything in this world for him to be mine, and myself to be completely his._

“So, how was your day?” Steve asks over his vanilla milkshake.

_Classic plain vanilla man._

“It’s was okay, I talked to Tony about the tour next week and stuff”, Bucky shrugs casually.

“Oh, nice, I bet you’re really excited”, Steve adds smiling.

“Yeah, definitely, we’re not going all the way down to D.C. but I’ll have to send a text to my sister with the tour dates in case she wants to drive to one”, Bucky comments.

“That’s cool, say hi to her for me”, Steve says before he turns his attention to Jessica who’s walking towards them with their food plates.

“Fooooooood!” Bucky yells raising his fists into the air in victory.

“Here you go, enjoy it guys”, Jessica laughs at his enthusiasm.

“Thanks”, Steve says and Bucky grins, she nods back before she walks away.

Steve takes a huge bite at his double cheeseburger and hums happily, Bucky is drowning his French fries with ketchup, “are you going to eat all that?” Bucky asks pointing at Steve’s huge plate of food.

“Well, if you can eat that much amount of ketchup, I can definitely finish this food”, he says as soon as he swallows the food in his mouth.

“Touché”, Bucky giggles.

They continue eating in silence for a few minutes, then they talk more about their day and the priceless scared look on Tony’s face, about what he expects on tour, and other random things, before Jessica comes by their table again.

“Are you guys okay, do you need anything?” Jessica asks.

“Can you bring me a Dr. Pepper, please?” Steve says.

“Sure, and for you, Bucky, is it?” she wonders.

“Yes”, he nods, “can I have another one of these but Oreo, please?” Bucky points at the huge empty glass in front of him.

“Right away”, she smiles, “you got yourself a sweet tooth, Steve”, the woman smirks.

“Indeed”, he smiles wide and Bucky sticks out his tongue at him.

“Baby, I was thinking, since this isn’t an official date, would you like to go out with me tomorrow, like a first date thing?” Steve asks not looking up from his plate.

Bucky just stares back at him, _because how is this man even real?_ Steve is asking him out on an actual date, _and he called me baby, and aaagggghhhhh he drives me crazy, I just want to kiss him, and hug him, and…_

“Bucky?” Steve frowns his eyebrows and tilts his head in confusion.

“Oh, yes, of course”, Bucky answers immediately.

“Okay”, Steve beams.

Surprisingly, Steve finishes his food first and he’s now stealing Bucky’s French fries, _just the ones that aren’t drowned in the big pool of ketchup_ , and Bucky is absolutely fine with that, _it’s cute actually_ , like he doesn’t even have to ask for them and feels comfortable enough to do it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the shop, is that okay?” Bucky says as soon as he finishes his second milkshake half an hour later.

“Sure, sounds great”, Steve says taking Bucky’s hand.

“What are we doing?” Bucky wonders looking down at their hands, rubbing his thumb at the blond’s still bruised knuckles.

“You’ll see”, Steve winks before he takes Bucky’s hand and kisses it _. And I died, because that is the cutest yet the sexiest thing ever._

They stand after they pay their check and say goodbye to Jessica, leaving a generous tip behind, they walk together outside and hold hands for a couple of minutes, neither of them wanting to say goodbye the other, Steve waits for Bucky to unlock his bike, _as always._

Bucky wants to shove his tongue down Steve’s throat and make out right outside the deli, be he knows better, he just leans against the blond’s chest and plants a quick kiss on his lips, Steve smiles wide and gives Bucky another little kiss.

“Text me when you get home, okay?” Steve says.

“Yes, see you tomorrow”, Bucky adds and the blond nods.

Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and the blond places his own muscled arms around Bucky’s waist, they hug tightly before they part on their separate ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like they said, taking it slow c:
> 
>  
> 
> And here we are once more, another Monday. It doesn't matter if you're going to school, to work your ass of or if you're fighting to get out of bed, you're here, you're alive! There's people out there in this world suffering and having such an awful time, maybe it's not possible for you to travel and get there to help but I assure that if you at least say good morning to someone you might be able to make their day better. Be kind to one another and stay safe.
> 
> Have a good week!
> 
> <3


	42. Chapter 42

Steve is super excited about this day, tonight it’s going to be their first official date, they want to go easy in this relationship but there’s no need to impress each other either. The blond decided that their date is going to consist in getting some food, a walk down the little shops in their district, a few bookstores, and that kind of thing, just enjoying each other’s company.

He takes a bath and as he rinses down under the warm water he thinks about what to wear, he doesn’t want to accept it but he’s a bit nervous, Bucky and him can really have a nice thing going on now, they are being honest about how they feel and they’re ready to face each other if they have a concern about something.

_Or at least, that’s what I hope._

The man walks out of the shower, shaved, and hair neat, his face isn’t so swollen anymore and the bruises are slowly and painfully fading away, _finally_. His ribs aren’t bothering him so much but the bruising in that area won’t go away, he knows he has to schedule a Dr.’s appointment as soon as possible.

The blond puts on a nice royal blue button down, a blue navy sweater, a nice pair of jeans and his brown motorcycle boots. Looking at himself in the mirror, he thinks he seems a bit older but he wants to look extra nice today, he knows this isn’t about impressing anyone, but he intends to show off Bucky and this is part of that.

***

Bucky wakes up on his bed and feels a little sad, spending the night at Steve’s always feels good, like an adventure, like being independent and still having someone there, and after waking up at home alone seems monotone and boring.

It takes a few minutes for his eyes to adjust and to remember that today is his first _official_ date with Steve, Bucky and Steve dating, _Bucky is dating Steve, Steve and Bucky_ , he fantasizes about that for a moment, about changing his Facebook status and uploading selfies, _wait… he’s not my boyfriend yet, we’re taking it slow, calm down._

He wants to impress Steve today, he’s sure that Steve enjoys however the brunet looks, but Bucky is well aware of what suits him better and plans to look specially hot for today’s date. Bucky puts on a nice pair of black tight jeans, _the really tight ones and not the torn homeless jeans_ , his black Dr. Martens, a loose gray shirt and a black blazer, he places a black hoodie on his bag in case it gets chilly.

He walks outside and Natasha is making a smoothie in the kitchen, “Hey, looking good”, the girl says, “you actually showered”, she chuckles.

“I’ve got a date today”, he announces proudly.

“Oh, good for you”, she smirks.

“Thank you”, the brunet nods.

“Bucky…” the redhead whispers.

“Yeah?” Bucky wonders.

“Have fun”, Nat offers.

“I will”, He says walking out of the apartment after kissing his friend goodbye.

***

When Steve arrives at the tattoo shop he’s incredibly cheerful, Darcy immediately asks exactly what he wants to avoid, “Oh my god, did you and Bucky made up? Did you have sex? What’s happening? I need to know!” she demands.

He leans on the counter and gives her his coat for her to put on the hanger behind her, “we’re okay now, today is our first date, and we’ll see where this goes”, Steve informs.

“Yes! This is perfect, where are you guys going? The museum? Are you seeing a presentation at the Art Center? Are you taking him to Broadway?” Darcy questions breathlessly.

“No, we’re just going to a Deli and then a walk maybe”, he answers.

“In Manhattan?” Darcy asks.

“No, here… I’m going to wait for him to come back from Manhattan, I think he’s going to be off early”, Steve explains as he browses through his appointments book.

“Oh! So he’ll be here for a while?” Darcy says cheerfully.

“Probably” Steve smiles gleefully at the prospect of seeing Bucky in a more casual environment like the shop, walking in like he fits in, because really, Bucky fits into any of Steve’s spaces.

***

Bucky arrives early to work and gets some coffee from the chain café at the corner as opposed to the family owned place he always has from Brooklyn, mostly because the weather is so cold now that he can’t go through having cold coffee by the time he arrives at the Stark Tower.

He’s glad these places give you discounts for taking your own mug, because the prices seem a little steep for coffee, then again, it tastes great. _For such price,_ _it better._ Today Steve will decide where they’re going, knowing the blond they’ll probably have a pretty chill day which is more than perfect to Bucky, have some food, take a walk by the park, maybe look at the bridge, look at each other…

“Ahem”, he hears someone clear his throat by the door.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you there”, he says coming back to reality. It’s Tony Stark walking into his office; the man is wearing a nice black suit with a gray shirt under the jacket, black tie and shiny shoes.

“I’ve been standing here for the last 15 minutes”, he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Sorry, I was daydreaming”, the brunet gives him a cheeky smile.

“I noticed”, Tony smirks.

“You look sharp today, you going to a meeting?” Bucky points at Tony’s direction.

“Bruce and myself are presenting the project today”, Tony informs.

“That’s nice”, he nods.

“We need you there”, Tony chuckles.

“Oh, right!” Bucky says hastily standing up.

“I’m glad you dressed appropriately”, the man lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Actually, I totally forgot about it”, he comments chuckling.

“Then why do you look so nice? You look like a designer or something”, Tony wiggles his eyebrows.

“None of your business” Bucky says smugly.

“Oh, so you have a date and by the look of things I bet it’s with our boyfriend”, the man with the goatee smirks.

“He’s not your boyfriend”, he huffs at him.

“Is he yours?” the guy teases.

“Not yet but soon”, Bucky smiles, “after this, can I have the day off?” the brunet asks.

“Bucky, you don’t have a schedule”, Tony says before turning on his heel.

“Right!” Bucky cheers enthusiastically.

***

Steve goes through a few appointments early in the day, most of which he has already worked the line-art and he just needs to start to fill in. He’s finishing a Devil on a client when he starts to hear some whispering coming from the door, Steve tries hard to pretend he’s not paying attention but the smile on his face is betraying him.

His client looks up, the man is about to tell Steve that Darcy and someone else are poking their heads inside the room but he interrupts, “I already heard them Robert, ignore them”, Steve chuckles.

“Hey!” Bucky’s voice says in fake outrage.

“Mr. Barnes if you want to see me work you can come in if Mr. Velazquez doesn’t mind”, Steve comments not looking away from his work, a mocking tone on his voice since Robert, his client, already knows Bucky.

“I don’t mind at all”, the man says.

“Thank you Mr. Rogers, Mr. Velazquez”, Bucky nods one and grabs a chair to sit down behind Steve looking at him fill in the color on the devil head.

“I’m almost done”, Steve informs.

“Don’t worry, there’s no hurry” Bucky says rubbing Steve’s back soothingly, “why are you getting a devil, Robert?” he asks pointing at the man’s tattoo.

“It’s kinda embarrassing actually”, he says.

“Please, I assure you nothing you say can embarrass you in my eyes, you’re like the most badass guy I know”, Bucky laughs.

“Well, you know how Wolf and me have been living together for quite a while now, I’m thinking of proposing next month, but next week it’s his birthday and I wanted to get a tattoo that he’d like me showing off when I’m in the ring”, Robert explains with a smile on his face.

“So he’s getting the logo from his motorcycle club”, Steve adds.

“Los Diablos”, the man says proudly with perfect pronunciation.

“That is so not embarrassing, it’s super sweet”, Bucky smiles.

“It’s a bit embarrassing”, Robert says, “teensy bit”, he laughs out loud.

***

When Steve finishes Robert’s tattoo, he seals it and starts cleaning up his station as Robert walks outside to settle his bill. Bucky is standing by the door, just looking at Steve work, _damn, he looks incredible._ The brunet notices Steve has concluded and takes off his gloves before he reaches for his jacket, Bucky walks quietly behind him and hugs him, Steve takes his hands and rubs them softly with his own, then he opens his arms to turn around and face Bucky.

Bucky looks up to Steve’s blue eyes and the blond gives him the warmest smile he has ever seen, Steve is leaning in for a kiss when, “Uuuh, sorry”, he hears from the door and chuckles when he sees Darcy fleeing the scene.

“DAAAARCY!!” the brunet complains and rushes after her, “you have won yourself a tickle attack!” Bucky yells laughing.

“No Bucky, don’t you dare”, she warns. Bucky is making hand gestures towards her as he gets closer to Darcy, the girl begins laughing insanely, “no, no, please don’t”, she begs.

“I’m not event touching you, oh my god!” he keeps wiggling his fingers without touching her, “Jesus Christ, Darcy, you’re that ticklish that people don’t need to tickle you!” He says between laughs.

“Stop it!!!” She manages to say between breaths. Bucky laughs out loud and leans back when he sees Loki looking at him from afar narrowing his eyes, Steve behind him bent over chuckling.

“Calm down Loki, your girlfriend’s secret is safe with me”, Bucky pats the man’s shoulder as he passes him to go to Steve.

***

Steve grabs Bucky’s hand to guide him out when he’s finally free from work, “C’mon, you and I have an appointment”, he says.

“So, this is an appointment?” Bucky asks teasingly.

“I’m trying to be cute”, the blond lifts an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t have to try”, Bucky answers casually putting on the helmet that Steve is handing him.

Steve holds Bucky’s head with both of his hands, he tilts his head to the side to not bump into the helmet and kisses Bucky’s lips, he rubs his thumb gently over the brunet’s jawline and gives him a small peck on the nose before leaning back. He smiles gleefully at Bucky who still has his eyes closed and his lips forming a small ‘o’.

“Did you know you’re adorable?” Steve asks him while he puts on his own helmet.

“I know now”, Bucky replies licking his lips.

Steve hops on his bike and scoots closer to the handlebars to allow Bucky to sit behind him, he feels Bucky slip in with his chest pressed against the blond’s back, his thighs pressing against his legs and his arms grabbing onto his waist.

He remembers Halloween, a bittersweet memory of Bucky teasing him from that same position. Today is definitely different, they won’t sleep with each other tonight or at least they aren’t going to have sex, Steve rubs Bucky’s left knee sweetly as he turns on the motorcycle.

“Where are we going?” Bucky asks leaning in closer.

“That’s for me to know, and for you to find out”, Steve smiles teasingly.

***

Around five minutes later, they arrive at the diner close to the movie theater, where Steve and him had breakfast together for the first time, after Bucky was having a bitter and hung over day eating breakfast at two in the afternoon.

“Hey, I love this place”, Bucky says cheerfully.

“This is where I knew I wanted to be part of your life”, Steve says casually taking off his helmet.

“That sounded so cute and corny”, the brunet sighs deeply, a huge smile on his face, “I thought you were someone completely different at the time though”, Bucky says sadly at the last comment.

_And oh man, if I regret that every day._

“I know, so I wanted to re-associate this place with us”, Steve comments.

“Our encounters in this place haven’t been the best”, he says.

“I wasn’t sure if this was enough or not”, Steve says, “Was this a good plan?” the blond questions.

“Yeah, just perfect”, Bucky answers hugging Steve from the back before he stands up from the motorcycle. They walk into the establishment and go straight to place their orders, the diner is a bit crowded but Bucky doesn’t mind, he’s with Steve tonight, on an actual date, and if he stretches his hand to hold the other man’s it’s completely fine, he can do that now.

“Are you two ready to order?” The girl behind the counter asks.

“I’ll have a burger and fries”, Steve says, “me too”, Bucky adds.

“Drinks?” She asks writing down their orders.

“I’ll have a Dr. Pepper, please”, Steve answers, “Oreo frappe”, Bucky smirks.

“You can go and have a seat, your orders will be ready in a few”, the woman says as she moves behind the bar. The couple finds a booth right next to a large window and they sit next to each other instead of facing one another; Bucky is the one between the wall and Steve.

“If you’re still hungry after, we can share a piece of apple pie”, Bucky offers leaning closer to the blond.

“Yeah, sounds nice”, the blond nods.

“And a cup of coffee maybe”, Bucky adds.

“It’s getting pretty cold outside, isn’t it?” Steve comments.

“I hope it doesn’t rain”, the brunet frowns his nose.

“Nah, maybe by the end of the week”, the man shakes his head.

“By the way, speaking of end of the week, I need to go shopping before I leave on Monday”, Bucky informs.

“You want me to come with?” Steve asks.

“Of course”, the brunet smiles wide, “I was thinking of going to Manhattan but everything is going to be so expensive, let’s just go to the mall here”, he shrugs.

“Sounds good”, Steve says leaning into Bucky, placing his head on his shoulder, “you smell nice”, Steve looks up at Bucky all innocent and cute with a small smile on his lips.

_This guy is going to be the death of me._

“Thanks”, he sighs.

Two plates with burgers and fries are placed in front of them along with their drinks, Bucky is hungry but he’s really comfortable with Steve on his shoulder, Steve lifts up his head and Bucky is missing the contact but doesn’t complain.

“Yuuum!” Steve says happily grabbing his burger and giving it a huge bite, Bucky stares at him eating for a moment, thinking just how hungry he really is for a second.

_But hungry for other things._

***

Steve is feeling really good about what he has planned for the day, Bucky looks amazing, _as usual_ , the food turns out fantastic, and they are now sharing a nice piece of apple pie and a vanilla milkshake, and the night is barely starting.

“What are we going to do next?” Bucky asks before he eats the cherry on top of the milkshake.

“I’m going to show you a magic trick”, Steve answers grabbing the cherry’s stem and putting it in his mouth, Bucky stares at him confused, Steve pulls it out with two little knots on the stem, “Tada!” he says happily.

“You are a total show off”, Bucky laughs.

“C’mon, it’s a good trick”, Steve smirks.

“Yeah, it really shows me some perspective, you try that at home and you’re also going to make my pants disappear”, Bucky giggles.

The couple stands up and put on their coats, Steve blushes a bit, laughing at Bucky’s comment, they walk to the counter and Steve pays their bill, ignoring Bucky when he tries to give him some money. The blond walks out after Bucky who is already putting on the bike helmet.

“Nope, we’re not going anywhere that we need to take the bike”, Steve informs.

“Oh?” Bucky frowns his eyebrows.

“C’mon, take that off”, he nods at Bucky with his head.

“Where are we going then?” The brunet wonders.

“There’s a comedy club about a block from here”, Steve smiles.

“Oh, that’s cool”, Bucky nods shivering a bit.

“Are you cold?” Steve questions, already taking off his own coat.

“No, Steve”, the guy shakes his head, “I have a hoodie, let me put it on”, Bucky reaches inside his messenger bag and pulls out Steve’s A.F.I. cat hoodie, _the same one he took the next morning after Halloween._

“Hey, my hoodie!” Steve points at Bucky’s direction.

“You mean, our hoodie”, Bucky smirks.

“Fine”, Steve rolls his eyes laughing on the back of his throat.

He holds Bucky’s hand while they walk towards the bar, he feels the brunet tense up a bit, Steve looks at him in worry, but then Bucky is squeezing Steve’s hand tightly and he blushes under his gaze. Steve smiles back before he lifts their hands to give a soft kiss to the brunet’s knuckles, Bucky looks at him and reaches over to give him a peck in the cheek, and Steve giggles at that.

Halfway through the street they notice a small record store and decide to browse around for a bit. The place is warm and open, piles and piles of boxes full or records, cassette tapes, old magazines and a few T-shirts, everything music related.

“You know they have Howling Commandos merch here”, Bucky comments as they walk around the tables and stands.

“What, for real? I want a shirt”, Steve says looking up from where he’s looking through a box of vinyls.

“You don’t have to buy a shirt, if you want one I can just give it to you”, Bucky shrugs his shoulder.

“I want a shirt and I should buy it to support the band”, Steve says.

“Steve…” the brunet whines.

“Bucky…” Steve imitates him with a smirk.

After twenty minutes of going around the store displays, they come out with a bag full of records and Steve’s new shirt, the blond with a bright smile of his face and the other man holding his hand by his side.

***

They walk to the end of the block where the bar is placed, the establishment is small but really crowded, it’s a Friday night after all, the couple gets a table near the small stage and as soon as they sit down, Bucky orders a beer for himself and a soda for Steve, they also ask for some bacon and cheese curly fries because it sounds really appetizing, even though they just ate a full meal.

_I’m a grown ass man, I can eat what I want._

The comedian this week is a guy name Johnny Storm, when he comes out to the stage, Bucky’s jaw almost touches the floor because this man, he’s barely 21 years old or around that age, he has to be in order to be in the bar, but if someone told Bucky that he has a fake ID it wouldn’t surprise him.

But that isn’t what caught his attention, it’s the fact that he looks a lot like Steve, _more like a dirty blond-ish with a buzz cut, frat guy, younger version of Steve_ , and Bucky can’t help to stare between the two of them.

“What?” Steve whispers before he takes a sip of his drink.

“Nothing, it’s just… he kinda looks like you”, Bucky smirks.

“No, he doesn’t”, Steve shakes his head, his eyebrows knit together.

“Just a little bit”, he nods.

“Sure Buck, whatever you say”, Steve says sarcastically.

They do look a little a like, whether Steve likes it or not, _but nobody is like Steve_ , and Bucky is more than happy to have this man just for him, anyone can have similar physical features but what truly makes a person is what’s on the inside, and Bucky is positive that Steve is unique in his own way, that same way that made the brunet fall madly in love with him is such short period of time.

Back to reality, it’s great watching Steve laugh because he does it with his whole body, either bending forward or back and he has to grab a hold of something, it’s fantastic and contagious. Bucky is not sure what’s more interesting, if watching Steve or this Johnny guy, his jokes are goofy and simple, innuendos and whatnot.

When the skit is over, a jazz band starts to play and Steve and Bucky stay listening for a while, they talk about everything and nothing. Steve’s neighbors, Captain, their jobs, the Red Room, how Natasha and Clint should get married; they debate over animated movies, and horror films, and how much they have to watch together.

Bucky sighs to himself, he really wants to go on this trip with the guys next week, but missing a whole week without Steve seems crazy, this right here is what he always wanted.

_It just feels right._

They stand up after they pay their order and leave a tip on the table, when they are near the bar, Bucky hears a lady’s voice calling for them, he turns around to see the couple of familiar faces.

“Hey, Steve and Bucky, right?”, the blonde woman says.

“Yeah, I remember you guys, Sue and Reed?”, Bucky asks, she nods offering a smile.

“How’s the little guy?” Steve wonders.

“Oh, he’s fine, we finally convinced his beloved uncle Benny to babysit him to have a night to ourselves, although he begged us to come”, Reed chuckles wrapping his long arm around her wife’s shoulders.

“Sis, Reed, there you are!” the guy, _the comedian_ , comes to stand next to them.

“I believe you just saw the show, this is my brother Johnny”, Sue informs.

“Sup, guys, did you enjoy it?” Johnny smirks.

“It was alright”, Steve shrugs casually.

“Tough crowd, I like it”, Johnny laughs while Bucky looks between them amused.

“Hey, don’t you guys think you look a like a little bit?” Reed comments.

“That’s exactly what I said!” Bucky adds.

“Pfff, I mean, I know I’m handsome and all, but I wish”, Johnny chuckles pointing at Steve up and down, Steve blushes in front of them, “Alicia, baby, come back, do you want my autograph?” Johnny yells to a girl and walks away after her.

They chat for a bit and exchange contact information, not that their lines of work cross or anything, although they do mention they’ve met with Bruce and Tony once or twice, it’s the second time they meet in a random place, and Steve and Bucky agree they’re really nice people, after the proper goodbyes happen, they walk outside the bar into the cold night, steamy clouds of cold breath around them, Steve places his arm around Bucky’s shoulders when the brunet starts to shiver next to him.

***

“So, heading home now?” Bucky asks bringing Steve closer by the waist.

“I want to take you to one last place”, they guy says as they walk back to his motorcycle, “but if you want to leave now, it’s totally fine”, Steve adds.

“No, it’s okay, lets go”, Bucky hums happily.

It’s late already, barely past midnight, but Steve is taking Bucky to one of his favorite places in the whole world, Steve doesn’t even care he has to wake up early tomorrow for work, they’re having such a great time, he can’t bring himself to mind if he stands up all night with Bucky by his side.

During the ride, he knows that Bucky is aware of where they’re heading, Brooklyn Bridge Park, they leave the motorcycle at the edge of the street and walk over to the park, and next to the edge of the river, they move slowly next to each other letting in their surroundings: the cold night and the cloudy sky, the dark calm water slightly hitting against the rocks, the lights of the bridge, a few muffled sounds from passing cars and good company.

The place is almost empty since it’s a cold night, after they move a few meters and closer to the bridge, Bucky sits on the rail, with his back slightly hunched from the cold and his hands rested on each side of his legs, Steve stands in front of him and Bucky pulls him in by his coat.

“Hug me, I’m cold”, the brunet demands and Steve is happy to oblige, instantly wrapping his arms around Bucky.

“Do you want me to get some hot cocoa from the food truck over there?” Steve points over his shoulder with his thumb.

“No, thank you, I’m really full”, Bucky says.

“Ok, how about if I give you a kiss?” Steve offers with a smile.

“Yeah, that will warm me up”, the brunet nods cheerfully.

Steve starts giving Bucky little pecks around his face; he smiles when Bucky giggles at every smooch, leaning forward into the touch. He gives him a tiny kiss on his cold rosy nose and finally one on his mouth, two, three, and stays there for a couple of seconds, sighing to himself when he feels Bucky’s arms moving up, the brunet wraps them around Steve’s neck for support.

Bucky’s fingers scratch his scalp and down his nape, the guy parts his lips and Steve knows it’s an invitation, he steps forward slightly shifting his hands down to Bucky’s lower back while he moves his tongue inside Bucky’s warm mouth, he feels Bucky arching his back in the sitting position he’s in over the rail.

Steve skitters his right hand up Bucky’s back earning a shiver from him, and places a firm grip on the back of Bucky’s neck to kiss him properly. In another situation, Steve wouldn’t have done something like this considering they are in a public space, but tonight, there’s no one around and it’s pretty late at night, dark skies and calm waters, he just doesn’t seem to care at the moment.

The blond presses his body against Bucky’s, their crotches grazing each others’, Steve tries not to move his lower body much but Bucky makes it impossible because the man starts swinging his hips a bit, tiny little movements that makes Steve’s blood boil and his fingers tremble. Steve concentrates on the other man’s mouth, his lips and piercing, his wet tongue moving around his and Bucky’s warm hands on his neck. The kiss gets hot really fast, Bucky tightens his grip around Steve’s neck but his left hand slides down Steve’s arm and starts pulling back.

“Steve… we have to stop”, Bucky sighs, his eyes closed while he licks his lips, the brunet gives Steve another kiss ignoring his own last words, this time is Steve the one who pulls away.

“Yeah, yeah, ok”, Steve whispers.

_Oh man, I am so getting a boner right now._

“Wait, don’t move yet”, Bucky says with flushed cheeks.

“I won’t, believe me”, Steve chuckles, they both look at each other then and burst out laughing, “this is going to be harder than we thought”, he adds and Bucky laughs some more at that.

Steve cups Bucky’s face with his hands, his thumb right under his micro-dermals while the brunet looks up at Steve fiddling with his lip piercing, they stare at each other for a moment not really doing anything. When they finally manage to get a hold of the situation they start walking back to Steve’s motorcycle and hop on, a quick ride and a few minutes later they arrive at Bucky’s apartment.

“So, tomorrow?” Bucky wonders as he gets off the bike.

“Yes, the show at SHIELD, I’ll see you before that, okay?” Steve asks.

“Sure thing”, the guy nods, “I wish you would come up with me”, Bucky smiles sadly.

“When we’re ready”, Steve smiles back reaching for Bucky’s hand.

“You promise?” Bucky questions leaning into Steve.

“I promise”, Steve assures squeezing the brunet’s hand.

“Okay”, Bucky nods before he kisses Steve’s helmet.

“Aww, c’mon!” Steve whines when Bucky leans back.

“Goodnight, Steve Rogers”, the man smirks teasingly as he walks away.

“Goodnight, Buck”, Steve shakes his head in amusement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short and chill chapter, taking it slow, taking it slow ;)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your comments, kuddos and all.
> 
> Love you, be safe, and have a good weekend <3


	43. Chapter 43

It’s around four in the afternoon when Bucky arrives at Steve’s house, he knows the guy is already there because he sees the motorcycle parked outside; the brunet locks his bike in his usual spot and opens the door with the spare key that Steve always leaves hidden under a rock.

Bucky didn’t have too much work today, so he left the Stark Tower early and went home, since he’s leaving on Monday, he did some laundry and cleaned up a bit, and as soon as Steve texted him that he was going home, he left everything that he was doing and headed there.

He opens the door and feels comfortable walking inside, the heat warming up his bones, Steve has the fireplace going instead of the HCAC system as usual, Bucky goes over to the table and places the bag with the takeout food he bought on his way here and looks around for Steve, but the man isn’t in sight.

“Steve?” He wonders.

“I’m back here”, Steve yells from what seems to be the backyard.

Bucky walks following Steve voice and the dog barks, he sees the blond outside playing with Captain, he opens the door and peeks his head outside a little, “come here, it’s freezing outsiiiiiide”, Bucky whines shivering.

“Hey”, Steve says walking towards him, “come here, buddy”, he says to Captain and closes the door as soon as the dog is inside.

“What were you doing out? It looks like it’s going to rain”, Bucky moves back to the living room.

“I miss playing with him, my ribs are still bruised but they don’t hurt that much anymore, I think they might not be broken after all”, Steve explains filling Captain’s plates with food and water, the dog waiting patiently by his side.

“Well, that’s good to hear”, Bucky says shifting towards the wall where Steve has the vinyl records and tries to pick one to play.

_This man, seriously._

_Look at this collection_!

Bucky wonders around before he chooses the right album to put on, Steve has so many that it makes it really hard to pick one, too many bands, too many genres, all so carefully cataloged and ordered, _he isn’t kidding._

 _Look at this fucking artwork,_ Bucky holds out ‘Jane Doe’ by Converge _, it’s amazing but too cathartic for the moment. Something fun, not too light or boring but not too aggressive, this is it,_ ‘Robbers & Cowards’ by Cold War Kids.

“You brought food?” Steve smiles at the bag on top of the table.

“Yes, I bought it from a Mexican food truck that Wade recommended me, he’s obsessed with Mexican food”, the brunet giggles, “I figured we should try something different”, Bucky shrugs from where he’s standing lifting the needle of the record player into place.

“Okay, I hope it’s nothing spicy though”, Steve says taking out everything from the bag.

“Noup, they’re just burritos, like Cali style, I ordered the salsa aside, so it’s okay”, Bucky walks over to where Steve is.

“Uuuhhh nice”, Steve hums.

“Hello”, Bucky say as soon as he’s standing in front of Steve, the blond is sitting down on a chair with his legs slightly parted.

***

“Hi”, Steve says back looking up at those lazy blue eyes he loves so much, pulling Bucky by the belt, the guy is now standing between the blond’s legs.

Bucky bites his bottom lip, fiddling with his piercing, Steve pulls him again and the brunet sits down on Steve’s leg, Bucky turns his torso to the side as he wraps his left arm around Steve’s shoulders, Steve has his right arm around Bucky’s waist and his left hand carefully placed on Bucky’s left thigh.

“I missed you”, Bucky says before he kisses Steve’s nose.

“Well, I miss you too”, Steve tilts his head to the right and places a small kiss to Bucky’s lips.

The brunet takes that as a sign to continue and cups Steve’s face with his right hand, his touch gentle but cold, _like always_ , Bucky leans forward a little and Steve follows him until their lips meet in the middle. The kiss becomes eager and needy, their mouths parted against each other, tongue against teeth, teeth down on lips, sucking and biting, breathing loudly through their noses, the same noses brushing as they move their heads.

Steve starts to kiss Bucky’s jawline, down his throat and Adam’s apple, the brunet’s head tilted back, breathing loudly through his mouth and moaning softly, the blond’s hand squeezing Bucky’s thigh traveling his way up just below the brunet’s crotch. Bucky has his eyes shut and his hand on Steve’s head, blonde hairs between his fingers, pulling slightly.

“Stevie, you need to stop before you give me a boner”, the guy chuckles between breaths.

“Okay, okay”, Steve sighs, placed the last few kisses on Bucky’s neck.

“Here, let me…” Bucky laughs passing his hands through the blond’s hair, brushing it back in place before he stands up and sits down on the chair next to Steve.

_Wooh, that was… well, if I thought I didn’t have the will to control myself I was wrong._

_Why in the world I say I wanted to take this slow?_

“Okay, I brought you two burritos, I know they’re pretty big but you eat like a family of four”, Bucky smirks.

“I’m a big man, what do you expect?” Steve stands up to go for something to drink, he pulls two cans of Kern’s juice from the fridge and places them back on the table.

“Yeah, but it’s crazy”, Bucky comments grabbing the juice can and opens it.

Steve unwraps his burrito, it has all types of textures, several bright colors and it smells amazing, Steve takes a big bite of it and chews a few times to taste the different flavors clashing together in his mouth. He lets out a soft moan on the back of his throat. _Holy shit, this is delicious._ Bucky turns his head to stare at Steve with wide eyes.

“What?” Steve asks as soon as he swallows, the burrito still on his hands.

“You said we were going to take this slow and I get it, but you and your noises and your kissing and touching is making this really hard”, Bucky complains.

“It’s making what hard?” Steve teases chuckling, raising his eyebrows at Bucky.

“Aaaggghh!” Bucky grunts, “everybody that thinks that Steve Rogers is a saint, has been living a lie”, he launches his arms at the air.

“Well, this is really good”, Steve points at his burrito.

“You don’t want salsa?” Bucky asks drowning his burrito with the red looking mix.

“Oh no, thank you”, he shakes his head, “I enjoy having taste buds”, Steve giggles.

“Can you be any more American? It isn’t even spicy”, Bucky says before he takes a big bite of his food.

“It’s not something that I want to make sure, I better not risk it”, Steve shrugs.

“But Steve, you gotta risk it to get the biscuit”, Bucky jokes and Steve burst out in laughter, placing a hand on his stomach, his head tilted back.

“I can’t believe you just said that, you of all people”, Steve says between laughs.

“Hey, I still have sense of humor”, Bucky smirks and Steve laughs even more.

They continue eating, Steve finishes the whole two burritos and Bucky just eats one, they’re now tossing away the trash, Steve puts a bag of popcorn in the microwave, _yeah I know, I eat a lot, but I can’t watch a movie without popcorn!_

“So, what do you want to see?” Bucky is lying on the couch rubbing his belly.

“I don’t know, what do you say about Godzilla?” Steve wonders.

“The new one, you already bough it?” He asks.

“Well, yeah, it’s been out for more than a month”, he informs.

“Oh, excuse me”, Bucky waves a hand in dismissal at Steve’s direction.

Steve retrieves the blue-ray disc from its box and gives it to Bucky to put it on while he throws the popcorn into a bowl, he comes back with glasses of water and the buttery snacks and sits down on the couch.

“Are you still hungry? I can’t believe you”, Bucky shakes his head from where he’s fiddling with the blue-ray player.

“These are popcorn, not real food”, Steve grabs a fistful of popcorn.

“Look at this, I have a food belly”, Bucky jokes sticking his belly out and rubs it.

“Oh yes, so fat”, Steve says sarcastically rolling his eyes.

***

Bucky goes to sit down next to Steve on the couch, he has the remote control on his hand and he was about to press play when he hears a buzz to his right, Steve leans to the side and grabs his phone.

“Hey, Sam”, Steve answers cheerfully.

“Say hi to him from me”, Bucky smiles.

“No Sam, you’re not interrupting anything…” Steve laughs, “He says hi back”, the blond bumps his shoulder against Bucky’s.

“Yes, we’ll be there, what time does it start?” Steve asks.

“Hey, ask him if Clint and Nat are going”, Bucky whispers.

“Sam, Bucky is wondering if Clint and Nat are going”, Steve says, “oh ok, cool, see you guys later then”, he adds before he hangs up.

“So?” Bucky wonders.

“Yes, they’re going, the show starts at seven, we still have time to hang out here for a bit”, Steve shrugs.

“Perfect”, Bucky nods as he nestles against Steve’s chest carefully and the blond wraps his arm around him.

_This, I could stay like this forever._

They watch the movie in silence, Steve pointing out a few fun facts about the movie production from time to time, Bucky quoting Bryan Cranston on Breaking Bad. _Science, bitch! That show was awesome._ Bucky feels right at home, Steve on his side and Captain by his feet.

“Did you know this is the second Godzilla movie made by an American Movie Studio?” Steve says as soon as the credits start to roll.

“Really?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah, I mean, they’ve used ‘The King of Monsters’ for other things, like that Dr. Pepper commercial that aired in 1985, or in video games and stuff”, Steve comments.

“That commercial was the best!” Bucky exclaims.

“It was funny”, Steve chuckles standing up.

_Aww shit, look at that ass._

“Are we leaving now?” the brunet wonders.

‘Well, it’s like 6:30, the show starts at 7, I say we get going”, Steve shrugs.

“Sounds good”, Bucky stands up and goes to put on his jacket and windbreaker.

“Can you check on Captain’s plate while I go up for my jacket?” Steve questions from where he’s putting out the flames on the fireplace.

“Sure”, Bucky walks to the kitchen, “hey dude, are you hungry?” he kneels to pet Captain’s head before he goes into the kitchen, the dog in tow.

“Hey, you’re ridding with me, right?” Steve asks when he comes down the stairs after he grabbed his coat.

“Yeah, I guess, should I put my bike inside?” Bucky says.

“Yes, I don’t think it will get stolen or anything but just to be safe”, the blond informs as he puts on his coat.

“Okay”, Bucky opens the door and goes to unlock his bike.

“Like you said, it looks like it´s going to rain”, Steve looks up at the cloudy sky.

“Yeah, and riding a bike or a motorcycle isn’t the best in this water”, he says as soon as he puts his fixie inside.

“Now that you mention it, I’ve been thinking about buying a car”, the man comments locking the front door behind him.

“A car, really?” Bucky asks.

“I mean, more like a pick-up truck, I love riding my bike but sometimes it’s necessary to have something else to move around and it’s safer, I guess”, Steve explains as he turns on his motorcycle.

“A pick-up truck, so manly, I do see you on a pick-up actually”, Bucky says when he sit behind the other man after he put on the helmet.

“We’ll see”, Steve says before they take off and head to SHIELD, Bucky’s grip tightening around the blond’s waist, his chest pressed against that muscular back, the cold wind against their faces.

They get to SHIELD soon enough, Steve parks outside and ties their helmets on the back of the motorcycle before they hurry inside, because as predicted, it already started raining.

“Hey guys, let me get your coats, I’ll put them away in my office”, Phil says as soon as they walk inside.

“Thank you”, Steve nods handing him his coat and Bucky’s jacket.

“Do you need a towel or something?” Phil wonders.

“I’m okay but this soaking wet dog probably does”, Steve points at Bucky, his long hair is drenched with rainwater and dripping all over the floor, it looks like he wasn’t even wearing a helmet, the brunet pouts his lips.

“Right away”, Phil chuckles walking to his office.

***

“I’m not a dog”, Bucky protests like a kid and Steve laughs.

“Here you go”, Phil hands him a navy blue towel.

“Thanks, Phil”, Steve says nodding to the man before he turns away.

Steve gets closer to Bucky and places the towel over his head completely, rubbing it against the long strands of hair as he hums happily, Bucky giggles under the towel. When Steve feels that he dried as much water as he could, he removes the towel from Bucky’s head and laughs at the result; the brunet’s hair is all over the place and he has a big pout on his face.

“You’re hair is so long now”, Steve comments brushing Bucky’s hair back into place with his fingers.

“I know, I should probably cut it soon”, Bucky says, his face is really close to Steve’s that he can feel his warm breath against him.

“I like it long”, Steve smiles.

“You do?” Bucky tilts his head a little.

“Well, I’ve only seen your hair short in pictures, but I like how you like it, short or long, blue or red, shaved or dreadlocks, I don’t care”, Steve shakes his head.

“You really wouldn’t mind?” Bucky asks in disbelief.

“No, I wouldn’t”, Steve assures, :I like you just as you are”, he kisses Bucky’s nose and the brunet smiles wide.

“You’re such a sap Rogers”, Bucky punches him slightly in the shoulder.

_I’m a sap indeed._

“Hey, losers!” Natasha yells across the lobby.

“Hello, Natalia, you’re so nice”, Bucky says to her.

“Hi”, Steve kisses her cheek.

“I though you were gonna be busy, if you know what I mean”, Clint mutters between his teeth and elbows Steve’s arm, the blond blushes at that.

“Hi guys”, Sharon says kindly, Sam by her side wiggling his eyebrows at him, Bucky and him wave at them.

“You’re not working tonight?” Steve wonders.

“No, she’s not, I’m such a great boss, I know”, Phil smirks.

“Sometimes”, Sharon shrugs but she has a smile on her face.

There’s a show tonight at SHIELD, _and what a show_ , Backtrack, Expire, Harm’s Way, plus two locals bands, _really, what a good day to be alive._ Steve whishes his ribs weren’t an issue at the moment because he wants to move his way around the mosh-pit, stage dive and sing along on the front row, _maybe I can, but I’ll have to be careful._

“Hello, are you here?” Bucky whispers to his ear, taking a hold of Steve’s right hand.

Steve looks down for a moment at their hands; he interlocks their fingers together, never wanting to let him go, and then he moves his sight up to Bucky’s face, the brunet has a warm smile on his face and Steve returns the grin back.

“I like having you around, you know”, Steve says bringing Bucky’s hand up to his lips and places a soft kiss on the brunet’s knuckles.

“Well, I…-“ Bucky starts before a person shouting interrupts him.

“Yo, Bucky!” Someone yells from behind them, Bucky let go of Steve’s hand to turn around and see who it is.

It’s a tall man, dark skin, shaved head, well built with impressive arms and a mean look on his face; the guy is dressed with a brunt orange shirt and a black leather jacket on top, well worn blue jeans and black suspenders, black boots, and a dog chain with a lock around his neck.

“Hey, Luke”, Bucky says offering his hand.

“Are you ready for Monday?” The man’s voice is deep and scratchy, almost like a growl.

“Sure”, Bucky nods, “oh Steve, this is Luke Cage, he does vocals for the Thunderbolts”, the brunet explains, holding Steve’s hand again, this time the left one, their friends chatting enthusiastically behind them.

“Steve, nice to meet you”, Steve extends his free hand, “I’ve heard your band before, never seen you live though, you guys are good”, he comments.

“Thanks, man”, Luke nods, “aren’t you Steve Rogers, the tattoo artist?” the man shakes Steve’s hand with a tight grip.  

“The one and only”, Bucky says right away and Steve nods casually.

“You might be doing something right then”, Luke chuckles patting Bucky’s shoulder.

“Shut up, asshole”, Bucky laughs.

“I’ve been looking for you, numbnut!” Dum Dum says walking towards them.

“Stop bitching, you prick”, Luke chuckles placing his strong arm around Dum Dum’s shoulders, the both of them walk away laughing and pushing each other.

“Charming”, Steve smirks.

“Yeah, imagine a whole week with them”, Bucky says and the blond chuckles.

***

“I’m going to the restroom, I’ll be right back”, Steve says.

“Okay”, he nods and Steve kisses the brunet’s forehead before he leaves.

“You guys are going to give me diabetes”, Sam jokes, and Sharon is standing next to him with her arm hooked around his.

“You’re not so behind of us”, Bucky teases.

“Both of you seem so happy, don’t listen to him”, Sharon says kindly squeezing Bucky’s shoulder as she passes next to him dragging Sam along with her.

“Are you coming?” Natasha asks pointing at the direction of the back room where the stage is located.

“HA! That’s what she said!” Clint yells.

“I did not need to know that”, Bucky shakes his head, “anyway, I’ll wait for him, you go ahead”, he adds, Natasha nods and moves away with Clint right behind her.

Bucky is leaning against a wall now, it hasn’t been that long since Steve left, Bucky decides to wait a few more minutes before he goes to look for him. _You’re okay Bucky, he’s fine._

He was starting to get inpatient until he hears loud laughs at the far end of the bar to his left, Steve is there talking to one of the bartenders, the other guy looks angry but he’s chatting enthusiastically, he’s a tall broad mature man, fair skin, mean scowl on his face, short brown hair brushed away from his face and killer sideburns, _I believe his name is something like… Logan?_

Bucky looks at Steve for a couple of minutes as he chats to the man, he listens Steve’s deep laugh and the way his face lights up when he smiles. Bucky is about to walk towards them until he sees someone familiar coming through the door, the brunet wants to run or hide under a table but he stays there instead _, I said I wasn’t going to run anymore._

It’s Jack Rollins, Brock’s best friend, the guy walks inside along with some of his friends, Bucky just stares at them hoping that Brock isn’t with them, they gather around by the door and luckily Brock is nowhere to be seen, Bucky sighs loudly, feeling his chest more relaxed until he notices Jack is walking towards him.

“What do you want?” Bucky says as soon as the man is standing in front of him, he crosses his arms over his chest defensively.

“Is he around?” Jack whispers.

“Who?” Bucky asks.

“Your boyfriend”, the man says, “Rumlow’s still in the hospital, he fucked him up pretty good”, Jack sounds upset.

“Am I supposed to feel sorry about that? Did you ever feel bad about me when he fucked me over? If I recall you didn’t because you were always so happy to help”, Bucky says, trying to keep calm.

_Don’t lose your cool, breathe._

“This is different, Bucky”, Jack say looking down at his hands.

“Don’t even try to make me feel bad about it because it’s not gonna work”, Bucky shakes his head.

“I was trying to convince Brock to press charges, so your guy will rot in jail”, Jack huffs, “but he doesn’t want to”, he adds.

“You and I both know it’s because this was all his fault, he brought this on himself, Brock is not dumb but I’m not either, I can go to the police too”, Bucky nods.

Bucky isn’t really sure what happened or how the fight went down, but he can bet everything he owns, even swear on his own life, that Brock is the one who started it, it’s true he’s the one that got the worst of it, but Steve wouldn’t have fought the man if it wasn’t because Brock did something first.

“It's your word against his”, Jack hisses.

“Exactly, I could’ve ended in the hospital several times if it wasn’t because I begged him to stop, and what did you do? You just laughed, every single fucking time”, Bucky pokes Jack’s chest with his index finger.

“Well, I remember you begging for some other things”, Jack raises his eyebrows at him, his upset frown turning into a devilish smirk.

“You can say what you want and laugh about how he enjoyed calling me a whore and whatnot, but we can’t deny the fact that you’ll always be Rumlow’s bitch”, Bucky is angry now, he doesn’t want this to turn into a face off but he isn’t going to let anybody else push him around anymore. _Damn it Bucky, that was harsh, even for you._

“Can I help you with something?” Steve comes to stand next to Bucky.

“Don’t worry Steve, our friend Jack was just leaving, right?” Bucky pats Jack’s shoulder.

“Whatever”, Jack turns around huffing as he walks.

“I’m sorry I took too long”, Steve apologizes looking down at his hands.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay, really”, Bucky turns to the side and takes a step forward, he places his hands on each side of Steve’s neck, making the blond tilt his head up a little, “I’m fine”, Bucky assures offering a smile trying to search for Steve’s eyes.

“Okay”, Steve whispers before he wraps his arms tightly around Bucky’s waist and rests his head on Bucky’s right shoulder.

“Shall we go inside?” Bucky asks scratching the little hairs on Steve’s nape, the blond nods humming happily.

They walk to the stage room holding hands; the band that is playing at the moment is the second one of the locals, they stand along with their friends on the right side of the room, banging their heads at the rhythm of the music, Bucky is tapping his foot against the floor.

As soon as the local bands finish, it’s turn for ‘Harm’s Way’ to take the stage, the place is packed now, it’s a sold out night, the room filled with laughs and chatter, until the band starts to play; this band has some fast riffs and loud screams, they’re heavy and fast, _the kind of music that make you want to rip someone’s head off._

The vocalist takes off his shirt by the second song and the guy’s body amazes Bucky, “look at that chest”, he whispers into Steve’s ear, the blond is humming the lyrics softly and nods at Bucky’s comment.

The guy has a full tattoo chest piece, it’s a ship with waves in the background, lighting striking down from the sky, clouds surrounding the sea and an eagle on top, and not to mention that his musculature is impressive, _it’s insane, he looks like he can lift up a car._

***

“This band is crazy”, Bucky says as soon as Harm’s Way finishes playing.

“Yeah, I like them, they’re pretty aggressive live but the guys are really nice people”, Steve shrugs.

“I can tell, I’ve never seen them live before, they’re okay”, Bucky comments.

“Well, that was insaneeeeee”, Sam opens his eyes wide.

“I bet you wanted to go and join the guys at the mosh-pit, but ha-ha, you can’t!” Clint laughs teasingly.

“Shut up!” Steve frowns his lips _. I really want these injuries to heal faster, I feel useless._

“Aww, poor thing”, Bucky smiles rubbing circles on Steve’s back.

Steve’s chest and torso area aren’t so hurt anymore, the bruising is still there, but the blond is starting to think that maybe he doesn’t have any broken ribs after all, because he isn’t in pain anymore, the bruises on his face aren’t so visible as they used to and his knuckles aren’t swollen either.

The next band starts soon enough, this is one band that Steve enjoys seeing live, their set is normally fast and short, but the enough amount of songs to leave a good impression.

“I like this band”, Bucky points at the stage.

“Me too”, Steve adds enthusiastically.

As soon as they start to play, Steve wants to run to the stage and jump off of it, sing along with the people in the front and move his body on the mosh-pit, he’s about to go and head for the stage when he feels Bucky tugging at the sleeve of his hoodie, the brunet mouths “no” and shakes his head side to side, like he knows exactly what Steve is thinking, the blond huffs and stays in place, and Bucky holds Steve’s hand tighter.

“Man, I can’t do anything, I hate this”, Steve says as soon as the band finishes playing.

“You should’ve though about that before you ran into a truck”, Bucky jokes giggling.

“Yeah, a truck with arms and legs”, Clint chuckles.

“You’ll be fine, just give it time”, Natasha pats his shoulder.

“I know, but I miss working out, assisting shows without being able to move freely as I normally do makes me feel like I’m not even here”, Steve explains sadly.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Rogers”, Natasha gives him a little smack on the back of the head and everybody laughs, including Steve.

The guys from ‘Expire’ clear the stage to let the next band set their stuff, their friends chat for a while and say hello to a few people that arrived late, all the Howling Commandos are there, Monty is asking Steve about a new tattoo he wants to get done; Luke, Dum Dum and Bucky talking about their upcoming tour and so on.

When the last band starts to perform, Steve is feeling the adrenaline running through his veins, the urge to run and jump from the stage, to sing along and scream, this is one of his favorite bands and he can’t enjoy the music just standing bitterly on the back of the room, _so fuck it._

“Will you hold this for me?” Steve says quickly to Bucky handing him his keys and phone and walks away without turning back.

“But Steve…-” Bucky starts, but Steve doesn’t hear everything the guy says because he walks into the crowd, moving along with the people until he’s at the front of the small stage, fist in the air and his head banging at the rhythm of the bass.

***

_Shit, shit, shit._

Steve ran into the mass of people and Bucky is panicking, and hoping that Steve doesn’t get hurt, _anymore than he already is_. Bucky sees how Steve jumps off the stage a few times, landing on people’s heads and arms, apologizing every time he’s down or that he hits somebody by accident.

A few times he stands up around the mosh-pit and sings along with Sam and Clint, and Bucky feels his heart on his throat when a guy gets too close to Steve and nearly hits him in the head or chest, _this man has a death wish or something?_

When the show finally ends, Steve comes walking towards Bucky with a wide smile on his face, he’s sweaty and his chest is growing in and out with every breath, “oh my god, are you okay?” Bucky launches his arms around Steve’s neck, not caring he’ll get sweat all over himself.

“I’m fine”, Steve chuckles.

“I know I sound like such a mother hen right now, but you shouldn’t have done that ,Steve”, Bucky says not letting go of him.

“It’s okay, nothing happened”, Steve places his hands on Bucky’s waist.

“Don’t ever do that again”, Bucky punches Steve in the shoulder and the blond just laughs in return.

They wait until the room clears a bit, they walks to the table where the merchandise is and shake hands with the guys from the bands and chat for a while, Steve buys a couple of things while Bucky is talking with a few of the guys about his band.

“I’m glad you didn’t die there”, Sam says to Steve.

“Steve, aren’t you still hurt?” Sharon asks kindly.

“A bit”, Steve shrugs his shoulders.

“Please, tell him it was a stupid thing to do because he won’t listen to me”, Bucky crosses his arms over his chest.

“It was stupid, but awesome!” Clint yells and Natasha rolls her eyes.

“No wonder why you guys are friends”, the redhead adds as they walk to the lobby.

It’s raining even worse than when they got there, they usually hang out at the dinner after a show, but the sky doesn’t look too clear and they don’t want to risk it so they decide to go home instead. _Sadly._ “I’ll drive you home, okay?” Steve offers as they put on their jackets to go outside.

“Sure”, Bucky nods. _But I want to go to your house instead_.

They hop on Steve’s motorcycle as fast as they can manage; the sky is pouring big drops of water, the air is cold and dry that it hurts to breathe but Steve won’t slow down either way and they get to Bucky’s apartment soon enough.

Bucky leans back on the bike when he let go of Steve’s waist as he parks in front of his building, he was just going to say goodbye to him but Steve gets off the bike too to walk him to the door. Bucky turns around to face Steve before he opens the door, they’re now soaking wet, their clothes sticking to their skin uncomfortably, but luckily the rain isn’t so intense anymore.

“So, call me tomorrow?” Bucky smiles a little.

“Sure, I…” Steve says and stops for a second, he looks like he wants to ask something, “I had a great time today”, the blond says instead, looking down at his hands. His hair is sticking to his forehead, a few water drops running down his face and he looks beautiful under the street lights, and all that Bucky wants to do is drag him upstairs along with him.

“Me too, you scared me for a bit”, Bucky pulls Steve by the front pocket of his jacket, making the blond take a step forward.

“I’m sorry”, Steve looks up, his baby blue eyes are impossibly clearer than water and _oh god, I love this man._

“It’s okay”, Bucky runs his hand through Steve’s wet hair, brushing it away from his face with his fingers, “you should get going, I don’t want you to get sick or anything for keeping you here”, Bucky adds.

“Yeah, good night”, Steve nods and smiles sadly.

Bucky turns around to unlock the door from the small lobby and Steve is walking towards his bike now, he fiddles with his keys for a minute; it has started to rain again and he hasn’t heard Steve’s bike, _that’s weird_.

“Bucky”, Steve says behind him.

Just as the brunet turns around to face him, Steve places his hands on each side of Bucky’s head and pulls him into a kiss, Bucky puts his hands on the blond’s waist and takes a few steps back, until he has his back pressed against the cold concrete of the wall right next to the door.

The kiss is tender and hot, salty and wet, _but not saliva wet, it’s rain wet._ They breathe fast through their noses, turning their heads as their lips clash together, Steve pulling at Bucky’s lip piercing with his teeth and the brunet moans softly against Steve’s mouth.

Bucky brings their bodies together by their waists and Steve grabs a fistful of hair making him tilt his head backwards, long strands of wet hair between the other man’s fingers, Bucky’s eyebrows knit together while Steve places gentle kisses along Bucky’s jawline.

***

“I have to go”, Steve whispers against Bucky’s warm skin.

_Or I won’t be able to stop._

“You’re such a tease, Rogers”, Bucky hisses and Steve chuckles.

“This is all your fault”, Steve takes a step back as Bucky straighten his wet clothes.

“Go now before you get yourself pneumonia”, the brunet demands.

“Okay, good night for the second time”, Steve smirks.

“Text me when you get home”, Bucky says and Steve nods before he walks away to his motorcycle.

The drive back to his house is fast, the rain hasn’t stopped and he knows he’ll have to take a warm bath before he goes to sleep, but none of that can deflate his mood right now, he feels like the happiest man in the world.

Of course he wanted to go upstairs with Bucky, and sleep on his bed and cuddle with him for the entire night, or to have sex with him for that matter but he said they’re going to take this slow, and that’s what he’s doing, for him but for Bucky too.

He’s obviously attracted to him and he definitely wants to take this relationship further but he’s trying to avoid getting hurt, because he wants to be sure that when that happens it’s because both of them want to, and Bucky won’t say it was a mistake, _again_.

_But a kiss won’t hurt anybody, right?_

That’s why he went for it, he’s never kissed anybody under the rain before, it’s something sappy and silly but wanted to do it anyway, and Steve is aware he got a bit caught up back there but he doesn’t care, because Bucky reacted better than he expected and it was one of the best kisses that Steve has ever shared with anyone.

As soon as he gets home, he unlocks the door as fast as he can and goes to check up on Captain who’s peacefully sleeping on his bed, the blond runs upstairs and grabs clean clothes to take a quick shower.

 **Steve:** I’m home :p

He doesn’t wait for an answer; he takes off his clothes and gets into the shower, hissing under the warm water. When he finishes and puts on his pants, Steve checks his phone for new texts. He has one new message but it’s an image, it’s a picture of Bucky, he’s shirtless with a towel wrapped around his head, he’s making a duck face and a peace sign with his fingers, his head tilted a little to the side. Steve can’t help but laugh.

 **Bucky:** Just showered, I wish you were here ;)

 **Steve:** Look who’s teasing now, eh!

Steve is waiting for a reply but he doesn’t get one in the next five minutes, _maybe he fell asleep already_ , Steve goes into his room and gets inside the covers of his cold bed, he’s adjusting on a comfortable position when he hears his phone buzz over the nightstand, this time it’s a call, not a text.

“Hey, I thought you were asleep”, Steve answers.

“I’m about to, I just wanted to hear your voice”, Bucky’s voice sounds drowsy.

“Well then I’m glad you called”, Steve hums happily closing his eyes.

 **“** You should have stayed here”, Bucky comments.

 **“** Some other day”, he assures.

 **“** Yeah, you promised me, remember?” the brunet whispers.

“Yes, baby, I remember”, Steve answers, his own voice sleepy.

“Have I told you how much I like it when you call me baby?” Bucky yawns.

“No you haven’t, but now I know and I’m glad you like it”, he sighs deeply.

“I’m going to sleep now”, the brunet informs.

“Okay, sweet dreams”, Steve adds.

“Goodnight, Stevie”, Bucky hums.

“Nite, Buck”, Steve says before he hangs up, he passes a hand over his face and rubs his chin.

_I must have done something right after all, when did this became my life?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More cuteness from these two idiots <3
> 
> I wrote this chapter a while ago and decided to include Luke Cage just 'cause he's pretty badass in the comics and I thought he'll look cool in a punk band, now that Jessica Jones is out on Netflix I realize I made a good decision, it makes more sense now, I really like his character in the show, if you haven't watch it, you totally should :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this, let me know what you think!
> 
> And as always, thanks for the comments, nice words, feedback and kuddos.
> 
> Have a good week, be safe and eat lots on Thanksgiving :)
> 
> P.S.
> 
> Perhaps you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but even if you don't have a fancy dinner this upcoming Thursday, there's a lot to be thankful for and expressing it should be done daily, you may thank who ever you want to, wether you're religious or not, thank your family, friends, neighbors, pets, anyone or anything that has help you get through rough times, or even if it's just a stranger saying good morning. Let's not forget there's people out there going through a hard time, if you're able to help anyone in any way possible, please do so. I really believe there's more good than bad in this world, and if there's nobody saying good morning to you, maybe you should be the one saying it, I assure you it makes a difference.


	44. Chapter 44

Bucky takes the metro to Steve’s house _“early”_ that afternoon, meaning it’s 2:30, he opens the door to the blond’s house to find it alone, he hears some noise coming from the backyard but when he walks outside there is no one there either. He peeks his head over the fence to the neighbor’s yard, he spots Steve lifting some gardening supplies, a sexy mature woman is handing him a glass of lemonade while Captain plays with a small child.

“Hello?” Bucky says interrupting the all-American boy next door bamboozle that Steve has going on.

“Bucky! Let me get on that side”, Steve smiles wide.

“Thank you so much for all of your help, Steve!” the woman says.

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Darkhölme”, the blond answers.

“Come by anytime”, she winks.

“Will do”, Steve says politely with a nod.

“Hey, handsome”, Bucky greets smiling at Steve when the man comes closer.

“How come we’re going this late?” The blond asks, Captain behind him as he opens the back door to the house.

“It’s not late, its barely past noon”, Bucky answers shrugging his shoulders.

“Bucky, it’s almost 3”, Steve reminds with a chuckle.

“So?” Bucky says.

“Okay, lets get going then, but before…” Steve reaches over to where Bucky is walking away and grabs his hand softly pulling him back; the blond leans in to give him a tiny kiss on the cheek, “Hi”, he smirks.

“Hey…” Bucky says looking at Steve with soft eyes. _This is unbelievable, I’m dreaming._

“So yeah, let’s get out of here!” Steve interrupts.

“Want to take the subway?” Bucky questions.

“Sure, haven’t been on it in a while”, he says.

“Oh, excuse me, Mr. I drive a motorcycle”, Bucky jokes shaking his index finger.

“Well, maybe I’ll let you ride it some time”, Steve nods.

_There’s something else I wanna ride too._

“You know I’ve always wanted a motorcycle?” Bucky comments.

“Really?” Steve wonders.

“Yeah, I just never really got the chance to get into it”, he shrugs a shoulder.

“Someday”, Steve nods, “do you want to go all the way to Manhattan?” the man questions.

“Nah… there isn’t that much time, let’s go to Gateway or Kings, or maybe just go downtown”, Bucky says.

“Let’s go to Kings and if we don’t find what you’re looking for, we’ll go downtown”, the blond suggests.

“Okay, but we’ll have to take a bus instead then”, he adds.

“Sounds like a plan”, Steve smiles wide.

***

The way to King’s Plaza from Steve’s house is long and they’ll have to change busses but that’s completely fine. It’s not like he minds spending time with Bucky, and especially now that he’s going to be away for a week. Steve’s anxious about it since they just started to date, _whatever the hell that means_ , and he’s a bit scared that Bucky will regret his decision while he’s on tour, but even if he does, Steve will have to respect that and try to move on, maybe they can keep being friends, he hopes they can, he likes having Bucky in his life.

“We should go to Panera”, Bucky suggests, they’re sitting down across from each other on the bus.

“Okay, I’d like that, we could have lunch there”, he nods.

“I think I have a gift card for it, so it’s on me”, Bucky winks.

“Sounds good”, Steve chuckles.

“Hey, you’ve got to appreciate the little things”, the brunet laughs.

When a seat clears out next to Bucky, Steve stands up and takes it, he wants to look outside but Bucky’s shining micro-dermals keep a shimmer in his eye, he stares at him instead, studying him, just because he can. Steve’s a bit upset that Bucky is going to be away for a while, particularly now that they’re taking things a bit more seriously, he’s aware that this pace is really slow but it’s for the best, and some time apart might either seal the deal or break it, as scary as that sounds.

He wants to remember how he looks, the curve of his jaw and the length of his hair, the texture of his mouth contrasting with his lip piercing, he really has an urge to draw him, but it’s awful to draw on a bus, if they had taken the subway maybe he could have.

Bucky turns towards him, probably sensing Steve is staring at him, “Do I have something on my face?” he frowns his forehead.

“Yeah”, he giggles.

“Really? What is it? Brush it off!” Bucky whines.

“I’m not touching that”, Steve says earnestly holding back his smile.

“Oh my god, is it gross? What is it?” Bucky questions in outrage.

“It’s on your nose, just wipe it”, Steve points at Bucky’s face.

“Oh man, this is so embarrassing” Bucky sighs as he tries to wipe his nose with his t-shirt, “there, is it gone?” he asks.

“You just rubbed it all over”, Steve shrugs.

“What? What is it?!” Bucky turns around to look at his reflection in the glass, “Steve!” he whines. Steve burst out laughing and gets punched in the arm by Bucky “very funny”, he say, but he knows Bucky can’t help but smile at his lame joke.

***

BROTHERS

Loki is trying on a pair of jeans while his brother waits outside the fitting room, “brother, you must make haste, I am starving!” Thor insists almost laying on the ottoman outside the dressing room.

“Patience is not a virtue bestowed upon you, is it?” Loki answers with a grunt, fighting as he takes off the pair of new jeans and puts back on his own.

“You of all people should know patience has its limitations and I have reached the edge of mine!” Thor yells in annoyance.

“Well, luck has struck you, these pants fit quite nicely and I am ready to purchase them now”, Loki announces walking out of the fitting room.

“Finally!” Thor stands up when Loki begins walking towards the cashier, “brother, buy me this hat”, the mountain of a man demands.

“Anything else?” Loki questions lifting an eyebrow, taking the beanie from Thor’s hand with a huff.

“Nothing else, we said we’d meet the women at the restaurant in 15 minutes”, Thor reminds.

“Trust me Thor, they’re the one’s who will be late”, Loki chuckles.

“How are you so sure?” Thor wonders curiously.

“A woman will take the most advantage she can of her time”, Loki nods handing his credit card to the cashier behind the counter.

As they walk outside the store, a bag with his brand new jeans on his hand, Loki notices Steve and Bucky staring at the mall’s map, “look, it’s Steve and his boyfriend”, Loki comments calmly.

“I believe they have not made it official yet”, Thor whispers leaning into Loki.

“What?!” Loki asks in surprise, a bit louder than he anticipated.

Steve and Bucky turn their heads to see them, Steve smiles and walks towards them, Bucky in tow. Thor gets closer to them and embraces the couple into a tight hug, “you act as if you don’t see Steve everyday”, Loki says walking behind Thor.

“I do, but it is quite a good surprise to see these two together”, Thor winks at Loki, he can’t help but run his hand over his face, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly, he tries to dismiss the move passing it back towards his hair line.

“How are you guys?” Steve asks as he parts from the hug.

“We’re doing marvelous, we came to accompany the ladies, but we lost them in the way, I have been trying on trousers since, what about you?” Loki questions.

“YES! Are you on a d….” Thor starts but Loki interrupts squeezing his shoulder, “on a jean hunting journey too?” Thor adds quickly and Loki tries not to giggle.

Steve blushes a bit and looks at the man next to him, “Bucky’s going on tour so he needs to get some stuff”, he smiles.

“Oh, congratulations!” Thor cheers.

“What marvelous news, when are you leaving?” Loki questions.

“Tomorrow, actually”, Bucky answers with a shrug.

“That’s quick, for how long?” Thor wonders.

“About a week”, Bucky nods.

“Great, I hope you have lots of fun, Barnes”, Loki says, “Thor, we should hurry up, we did tell the ladies we’d meet them 5 minutes ago”, he reminds his brother.

“Oh! You are correct, it is pleasant to see the two of you… together”, Thor says toothily.  
  
***

GENTLEMEN

“At this point I can not believe he had a tattoo done”, Erik comments as they walk around looking for a place after they placed their order at Panera bread.

“I still don’t understand what upset you so much”, Charles answers with a soft tone.

“Well of course, the fact that he didn’t even consider my opinion on the matter”, Erik shakes his head.

“Darling, you have several tattoos, what opinion would you have on the matter?” Charles chuckles taking a seat.

“I could have given him advice, recommended an artist, talked about the design…” Erik comments breathlessly.

“But really, when getting a tattoo the only opinion that matters is of the person who’s getting it, doesn’t it?” Charles questions.

“I… well…. yes”, Erik mumbles, “but I wanted him to ask so I could tell him that”, he crosses his arms over his chest.

“You are absolutely incorrigible”, Charles laughs. A young woman walks towards them in no time with their food ready in hand, they thank her before the girl shifts away with a nod.

“So? What did he get?” Charles asks.

“A sand clock”, Erik answers plainly.

“Oh, outrageous, I wish he had asked for your opinion then”, Charles says sarcastically.

“It’s wonderful!” Erik cheers, “Steve Rogers did it, here, let me show you the picture Wanda sent me”, the man reaches for his phone that’s placed in the middle of the table and looks for the picture to show it to his husband.

“I love his art, and this piece is fantastic”, Charles hums pointing at the bright screen of the phone, “very classic Americana, you should schedule a new tattoo with him” he suggests.

“Maybe I will”, Erik says putting away his phone, “well, speak of the devil, he’s over there in the line for the cashier”, the man nods in the direction of the front counter.

“Steve!” Charles yells.

“Charles, he’s with a friend”, Erik murmurs between his teeth.

“Steve, come over!” Charles waves his hand at the young man.

“Mr. Lehnsherr, Mr. Xavier, how nice to see you here” Steve says walking towards them with a smile on his face.

“We’ve talked about this, please call me Erik”, he insists, “and me Charles”, the other man adds with a hand over his chest.

“Okay”, Steve nods shyly, “Erik, Charles”, Steve says.

“I was just telling Charles what a fantastic job you did on Pietro’s tattoo”, Erik comments.

“Yes, a beautiful piece”, Charles smiles warmly.

“Oh, thank you so much, I’m so glad you liked it, Pietro was actually really worried because he didn’t ask you about it”, Steve chuckles.

“Nonsense, he’s an adult, he can do whatever he pleases”, Erik shakes his head.

“That’s not what you were saying a minute ago”, Charles laughs out loud and Erik fakes a cough, “anyway, thank you so much Steve for coming over, we won’t take anymore of your time with your friend”, Charles says.

“Or is he your boyfriend?” Erik wiggles his eyebrows smiling teasingly.

“He’s not my…. well, not yet”, Steve sighs heavily.

“What are you waiting for? Hurry up, boy!” Charles cheers.

“Yes, please do, that young man is very good looking, he could get away”, Erik winks at him.

“Erik, don’t push it”, Charles warns pointing a finger at his partner.

“Yeah, I should…” Steve says looking down coyly, “well, thank you so much, it was great seeing you”, the young man smiles.

“You’re welcome Steve, it’s always a pleasure”, Charles says nodding before Steve gives them a little wave and walks away from them, “how troublesome can you be?” Charles asks not expecting an answer.

“Very, very troublesome if I put my mind to it”, Erik chuckles stretching his hand over the table to squeeze his husband’s.

***

THE GUYS

Peter is trying on hats at Spencer’s when he hears a loud crash coming from the far off corner of the store, he turns to see Wade has managed to destroy a dildo display and begins running towards him.

“Let’s get out of here!” Wade says pulling Peter by the collar of his shirt; sadly, Peter tosses quickly the hat he was planning on buying.

They skip out laughing until they see a security guard coming towards the store, Wade lightly directs Peter towards a wall and puts on the hood of his sweatshirt, leaning in to whisper something to Peter’s ear, “just pretend we’re dating, and they’ll move past us”, the man says.

“Yeah, wouldn’t you like that?”, Peter says smirking at Wade.

“Don’t push it, Parker”, Wade warns just as the security guards pass, both of them start chuckling and walking towards the line at Wetzel Pretzel, “what do you want?” Wade asks looking at the display of options.

“Uhmm”, he hums thoughtfully, “a lemonade and one of those frosted thing mini bags”, Peter says.

“Mini bags?” Wade questions.

“You know, like with all the little pretzel bits and the frost thingy”, Peter tries to explain with his hands.

“Frosty thing?” Wade lifts his eyebrows teasingly.

“Stop fucking with me, Wade”, Peter points a finger at his friend.

“We’re fucking?” He asks cheerfully.

“Jesus…” Peter sighs.

“IS EVERYONE AT THE MALL? What the heck?!” They hear a familiar voice yell and both of them turn around to see Bucky walking towards them.

“Hey, loser!” Wade says opening his arms expecting a hug from Bucky.

“Sup’ man, how you doin’ Peter?” Bucky nods towards them.

“You want to cut in line?” Wade asks.

“No, no, we just ate at Panera”, Bucky comments.

“You and…?” Wade wonders in curiosity.

“Me”, Steve says walking behind Bucky, “I just saw some clients inside”, the blond says pointing with his thumb over shoulder.

“You were tattooing people inside the Panera bread?” Wade jokes.

“No, I mean they spotted us when we were leaving, duh!” Steve chuckles.

“Oh, oh”, Peter nods giggling, “you said that everyone is at the mall, who else have you seen? Have you seen Gwen? Have you seen my girlfriend?” he asks with a smile on his lips.

“Have you seen the witch who’s stealing my man?” Wade cries mockingly.

“Aww, c’mon”, Peter huffs.

“But no, we haven’t seen your girlfriend, is she here?” Steve questions.

“Yeah, she actually came over with all the girls”, Peter comments.

“So Nat’s here?” Bucky wonders.

“Yeah, she is”, comes Clint’s voice from behind Bucky.

“Oh, hey”, Steve says turning around to embrace Sam and Clint into a hug.

“Are you guys cutting in line?” Wade yells behind them.

“Chill out Wade, you’re pretzel is on me”, Bucky says walking up to the counter.

After the not so friendly cashier places their order and told them to wait for a few minutes, they step to the side to let the other people in line get their snacks. Peter gets a lemonade, same as Wade, Clint orders a soda and Sam just a bottle of water, and Steve and Bucky are sharing a frozen lemonade even though the weather is really cold.

“Heard you’re going on tour, are you excited?” Peter asks Bucky.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s only a week, but I think it will be awesome”, Bucky nods.

“It’s gonna be a loooooong week, am I right, Steve?” Clint teases elbowing Steve’s arm.

“I-I guess?” the blond stutters, his cheeks blush bright pink and Bucky tries to hide a smile behind his frozen drink.

When the girl on the counter gives them their pretzels, they say thanks and walk away from the counter, “well, it was nice seeing you, we’re leaving, goodbye!” Bucky rushes walking away, “bye, guys”, Steve waves back over his shoulder as he’s being dragged by the arm by Bucky.

The four of them chuckle as the couple shifts away, Sam is the one who talks first, “ok, shoot”, the man says nodding his head towards Clint.

“A date”, Clint smirks.

“Not a date, same bill?” Sam questions.

“Deal”, Clint offers his right hand for Sam to shake.

“Did you guys just made a bet about them? Isn’t that a bit silly? They’re already together, right?” Peter wonders.

“Oh no, we know for sure that they’re not officially together, making bets about Steve’s love life is always fun, wanna join us?” Sam wonders with a smile.

“No thanks, isn’t that a bit rude?” Peter questions.

“You’re boring, honey”, Wade laughs with a mouthful of his food.

“Steve knows, but it’s a good thing you don’t want in, Sam’s always winning, I think he’s a cheater”, Clint bumps his shoulder into Sam’s.

“Admit it Barton, you’re a sore loser”, Sam chuckles.

“How come they’re not together? It’s clear that they want to fuck each other’s brains out”, Wade comments after he swallows his last bite of pretzel.

“Cause’ they’re dumb?” Clint laughs.

“I remember the day of the photo-shoot, I almost drowned in Bucky’s drool, he wasn’t being subtle at all”, Wade comments.

“Well, our Stevie is aware of a lot of things but when it comes to that, he’s a bit oblivious in that sort of situation”, Sam comments before he takes a sip of his water bottle.

“I don’t know man,” Clint shakes his head, “I think it has something to do with Bucky, our man is a bit shy, yeah”, he nods, “but he’s never had girl/boy trouble before”, Clint says.

“Maybe that’s why Bucky is special to him”, Peter offers a small smile.

“Aaawww, I knew there was a reason why I like you”, Wade says sarcastically pinching Peter’s cheek between his index and thumb.

“Bite me”, Peter huffs smacking Wade’s hand away.

“You asked for it!” Wade yells, “I have witnesses”, he winks at Clint and Sam, and both of them chuckle shaking their heads.

“We were heading to Spencer’s, you guys wanna join us?” Clint asks.

“No, no, no, no”, Wade mumbles moving his hands.

“We were just there, but thanks”, Peter adds awkwardly.

“Sure, man,” Sam says, “take care, guys”, he adds.

“Later, bros” Wade waves, “I’m hungry, how about Mexican food?” the man questions after Clint and Sam walk away behind them.

“Wade, you just ate a pretzel”, Pater chuckles.

“So?” Wade wonders, Peter sighs deeply but starts walking towards the food court with his friend next to him.

***

THE GIRLS

Gwen had been invited to spend the day with Sharon and Natasha, she had to admit she felt a bit intimidated, but as the day went on it turned out fantastic, both of them are very funny and approachable, and just when she thought this day couldn’t get any better, they cross paths with Jane Foster-Odinson and Darcy Lewis.

Jane is married to Thor that works with Steve and Darcy, the bouncy and bubbly brunette who’s the receptionist at the tattoo shop where they all work, she is dating Loki, which is Thor’s brother. Sharon is dating Sam, who is Clint’s best friend and business partner, and Natasha is Clint’s girlfriend, she lives with Bucky, or James like Natasha calls him, who is going out with Steve.

 _What?_  

It’s a lot of information to get in a little bit of time but Gwen is glad she met them, she was kind of worried since it’s always uncertain when you meet the friends of someone you’re dating, but things with Peter seem to be going well so there’s no need to worry about it now.

“Gwen, what are you going to major in?” Jane asks as they look through the third sports store at the mall.

“I’M BORED NATASHAAA!” she hears Darcy whine pulling Natasha’s arm.

“Um… well, Bioengineering”, the blonde girl says.

“Wow, that’s amazing”, responds Jane.

“Jane is an engineer kind of thingy too”, Darcy comments lifting up a shirt over herself.

“Really?” Gwen wonders.

“Well, I’m an astrophysicist, not an engineer”, the petite brunette corrects her friend.

“Wait… are you THE JANE FOSTER?” Gwen asks with a toothy smile and wide eyes.

“I guess?” Jane answers unsure.

“Like, you’re leading the investigation on dwarf stars and how they may be warping space time?” Gwen questions excitedly.

“Ooooh, I better go back to bothering Natasha, this conversation is getting waaaay too smart for me”, Darcy giggles walking towards the dressing rooms.

Sharon shifts towards them with some items in hand and waits a couple of seconds until Gwen stops babbling, “I’m going to the cashier, do you guys have something you want to buy?” she asks politely.

“Yes, I’m getting this for Thor”, Jane says after selecting the biggest size of shirt they have in the store.

As they walk out of there, Jane and Gwen keep talking about Biggs bosom particles and she’s even gladder that she agreed on joining them. Natasha turns around to face them and asks where they’re going to head next, looking down at the list on her phone, when a man Gwen doesn’t recognize says with a fake voice, “guess whooo?” the guy singsongs trying to put his hands over Nat’s eyes.

She twists his arm so hard Gwen thinks Natasha was going to break it, “James, don’t do that! I could have seriously hurt you”, she says letting go of his hand.

“You did seriously hurt me Natalia, I have no functioning arms now!” he says grimacing and pouting his lips at her.

“Don’t whine, where’s everyone?” Natasha wonders looking around.

“They’re trying on shoes, I already made my buys today so I’m done”, he comments, “who’s this?” Bucky asks gleefully turning his head to face Gwen.

“Hi, I’m Gwen”, she smirks wide.

“I’m Bucky”, he says charmingly shaking the girl’s hand.

A very good-looking blond guy is walking out of a shoe store carrying several shopping bags in one hand, he approaches them with a huge grin on his face, “hey ladies”, he waves his hand.

“Hey, Steve”, Natasha responds.

“Hi boss!” Darcy gives him a tight side hug.

“Hello”, he adds, “you must be Gwen, Peter keeps talking about you”, Steve nods.

“I hope that’s good”, she comments shyly.

“Totally good”, he smiles sweetly, “how’s your day going?” Steve asks to no one in particular.

“I bought a new pair of boots, so it’s going perfect”, Sharon laughs.

“Same here, my new pair of sneakers are ready to kick your ass at the gym”, Natasha winks.

“I don’t doubt that”, Steve chuckles.

“We saw your guys a while ago”, Bucky comments, “apparently, everyone decided to be here today”, he chuckles.

“We were here first, James”, Natasha teases, “you came here for anything specific?” she wonders.

“I needed to buy plain shirts, for tour and stuff”, the brunet shrugs and Steve lifts the bags on his hand.

“Oh, so you’re making him carry all your things? What a princess!” Natasha laughs warmly.

“I don’t mind”, Steve smirks.

“See, Natalia? He doesn’t mind”, Bucky sticks out his tongue at Natasha before he leans to his side and places a little kiss on Steve’s cheek, the blond blushes a bit but he smiles wide in return.

“I thought your name was Natasha”, Gwen frowns her eyebrows.

“James and I met in Russia, my birth certificate says Natalia, which is basically the same”, she explains.

“That’s interesting”, Gwen smiles kindly and Natasha smirks back.

“Well gals, as much as I will love to spend time talking about nail polishes with you, we gotta go” Bucky says teasingly.

“Fuck off, James”, Natasha gives him the finger.

“I bet you paint your nails more than we do”, Sharon adds, Natasha offers her fist for her to bump and Steve starts laughing along with all the girls.

“Hey, you’re suppose to be on my side”, Bucky gives Steve a slight slap with the back of his hand on his bicep.

“I am, baby, but you can’t mess with girl power”, Steve chuckles some more.

“I guess you’re right”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder casually, “anyway, see ya’ later”, the brunet says grabbing Steve by the arm.

“What? Why? I never get to hang out with you guys”, Darcy huffs.

“We’ll hang out when I come back from tour, deal?” Bucky replies.

“Deal”, the girl nods. After that, Bucky starts walking pulling Steve by the arm as the blond tries to say his goodbyes over his shoulder, wishing them a good afternoon with a polite smile on his face.

“What a cute couple”, Gwen comments as they begin to walk on the other direction.

“I know right? But they’re such dummies, they haven’t figured each other out”, Darcy says.

“They’re both losers, they’re meant for each other”, Natasha adds as she leads them towards the record store.

“Yeah, but you love them”, Sharon laughs.

“It’s way different having to deal with them to actually love them”, Natasha says.

“Like with Clint”, Sharon mutters between her teeth, “just admit it, Nat”, she chuckles.

“Never!” Natasha announces but Gwen can see the tiny smirk that’s beginning to form on the corner of the redhead’s mouth.

“I just hope they get married”, Darcy lets out an exaggerated sigh for her own amusement.

“Stop daydreaming about your boss, Darcy”, Jane says in a warning tone.

“I don’t blame you, everybody does”, Sharon chuckles.

“As you can tell, Gwen, a lot of people think that Steve’s quite the catch”, Natasha comments.

“He seems so, but I think he’s been caught already”, Gwen shrugs.

“Oh yes, caught and locked away, he’s gone, both of them”, the redhead nods.

“So, when’s the wedding?” Gwen jokes; all the girls start giggling as they walk to continue with their day at the mall.

***

“That was something”, Bucky comments as he gets out of the bus.

“Yes, it was”, Steve says stepping off behind him.

Steve is upset to say the least, he wants Bucky to have fun, and he wishes he could go with him, it’s just a few days into their agreement and he isn’t going to see him for a week already, basically it doesn’t even count. He’s also nervous, he doesn’t want to lose Bucky, but how can he lose what he doesn’t even have? But he’s not a selfish person either, he wants Bucky to be happy, and if that means that he’ll find someone else, so be it, Steve’s nobody to stop him, the only thing he can do is wait and see how this goes.

_I guess this is taking it slow._

They walk side by side in silence for a minute, each with a couple of bags in their hands, they move in the cold evening, the sky dark and cloudy over their heads and the street lights showing them the way to Bucky’s apartment building.

“Here’s me…” Bucky says sadly when they reach the glass doors, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow before I leave”, the brunet nods holding the handle, not really making an effort to open the door.

“Yeah”, Steve answers looking down, he takes a step forward and crowds Bucky’s personal space, “but before…” Steve leans forward and tenderly places a kiss on Bucky’s lips, the piercing cold against his skin and their noses barely touching.

Bucky puts the bags he’s holding on the floor and cups Steve’s face softly with his hands, Steve takes the hint and gets rid of the bags as well to place his hands on Bucky’s hips to bring him closer. It isn’t long before the pace of their kiss quickens and their hold on each other tightens, their lips part against each other’s, warm and wet, the tip of their noses cold and pink brushing on their skin, and they both pant softly as they turn their heads.

“Steve…” Bucky whispers over the blond’s lips before he takes a step back and hits the door behind him.

“Ouch”, Steve says scrunching his nose.

“I’m fine”, he sighs, “but as much as I like we’re this is going, we have to stop, we said we’re taking this slow and you’re making it really difficult”, Bucky chuckles, his breath cloudy in the cold air.

“Yeah, you’re right”, he nods.

“Okay”, Bucky leans forward to plant a tiny kiss on Steve’s mouth again, “I’ll call you tomorrow”, he says reaching for the keys inside his pocket, “let me know when you get home”, Bucky smirks before he steps inside.

“Will do”, Steve assures.

***

Bucky is lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling of his room with the lights still on, trying to form figures with the cracks and different textures of the concrete, replaying the events of the day on the back of his mind.

The day was amazing, it wasn’t a date exactly but it definitely felt like one, even though they ran into all of their friends in the process, it was a good day overall. He’s excited and thrilled for his upcoming week but he knows that, _as sappy as it sounds_ , he’s going to miss Steve so much, he doesn’t regret agreeing on this tour and he’s positive that they’re going to have a great time but he can’t help but feel a little worried.

Steve has been really thoughtful about the whole situation, caring and respectful and Bucky hasn’t done anything but assume and cry, _how fucking lame is that?_ He has to be better if he wants to make this work, and that’s the thing about Steve, he makes Bucky want to be a better person and not only for other people but also for himself.

Bucky has had a lot of doubts in the past about many things, but he’s a hundred percent sure that Steve walked into his life for a reason, most people might say that he doesn’t deserve Steve, that he’s too much for him and that Bucky will never be enough, but this is what Bucky wants and if Steve wants him too, so be it.

 _Fuck other people_.

He’s selfish, a self-center and egotistical human being, is the truth and he’s not afraid to admit it, it’s something that he might have to work on but right now, it’s a part of him and maybe that will never change, Steve has made it clear that he accepts Bucky as he is and he couldn’t be more glad that he has this man in his life.

The brunet sighs at the thought of Steve and just when he’s about to check the time on his phone, _the damn thing_ starts vibrating over his chest making him jump in surprise, but he immediately smiles when he sees the message on the screen.

 **Steve:** Hi, I’m home safe and sound :)

 **Bucky:** Yayyy! I’m laying on my bed, it’s freezing, I wish you were here :c

 **Steve:** Maybe some other time, when you get back (?)

 **Bucky:** You keep saying that! :((((((

 **Steve:** It’s true, I keep my promises :D

Bucky can’t help but smile and twist his body from side to side over the bed, a wide _and stupid_ smile spread across his face as he reads the message over and over again, now he definitely has something to be looking forward to when he comes back.

 **Bucky:** It’s a date c:

 **Bucky:** Hey handsome, I like you a lot, what are you doing? :B

 **Steve:** I’m getting undress, alone in my cold bedroom  >:(

 **Bucky:** Damn it, don’t tease me, Rogers! D:

 **Steve:** Two can play at this game ;)

 **Bucky:** YOU ARE NOT A SAINT! I don’t even know why I asked!

 **Steve:** People keep saying that, and yet here we are :p

 **Bucky:** You are the best  <3

 **Steve:** No, you are! :)

 **Bucky:** Okay, we both are :D I’m a bit tired but I can’t sleep!

 **Steve:** Are you excited?

 **Bucky:** Yes, also nervous, it’s our first tour.

 **Steve:** I’m sure you guys will do great, don’t worry about it.

 **Bucky:** Thank you c: I should probably try to get some sleep :c

 **Steve:** Yeah, me too, I have to wake up early

 **Bucky:** You’re right, I will see you tomorrow for sure, before I leave :D

 **Bucky:** Thanks for today c:

 **Steve:** Thank you, I had a great time too, baby

 **Steve:** Have a good night :)

 **Bucky:** Good nighty  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyyyy for Eric and Charles <3
> 
> I was supposed to upload this chapter on Friday but I got caught up doing some stuff, life and all, (sorry?). Anywayyyy, better late than never, right? :)
> 
> I hope you liked it, let me know what you think, the next few chapters Bucky will be on tour, wooh! Have a good week, be safe and take care <3


	45. Chapter 45

MONDAY

_Bucky is leaving today, and shit, I’m going to miss him so much._

Steve’s alarm just went off, he’s still lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling, thinking about their days before, it’s been only a few days since they agreed on starting this, _whatever this is_ , and it feels like ages, but Steve can’t get enough of Bucky.

But right now, his nerves have started to kick in; he still feels over the moon, he believes that this is a dream that he will wake up from sooner or later, and now that Bucky is leaving for tour, even though it’s only for a week, Steve is scared.

In fact, he’s terrified. Bucky’s going to travel to play in other cities, and people will get to know him, how great and talented, how smart and funny, how handsome and good looking, how spontaneous and charming, and all those other qualities that make Bucky who he is, all those things that made Steve fall in love with him.

That is the main reason he’s afraid, not that he’s selfish or greedy, he wants people to know how amazing Bucky is, but now that Bucky is going to meet a lot of new people too, he might finally find someone that’s better for him; not that he won’t find that someone here where they are, maybe someday when he’s getting off from work, or a day at the mall like yesterday or even someone that he already knows, and that is what haunts Steve lately, that feeling that somebody is going to come into their lives and take Bucky away from him, _although he’s not even mine._

He sighs against a pillow before he stands up to grab clean clothes, _I really need a shower._ As soon as he cleans himself properly, brushes his teeth and manages to get his hair into place, he thinks about calling Natasha and ask her if he can stop by the Red Room tonight, _I need to keep my mind occupied this week._

He’s getting better as the days pass by, he can breathe properly now, his face and knuckles are okay, but the bruising on a few parts of his chest are still there, _but maybe a little running won’t hurt anybody._ He goes to place his workout clothes on a duffle bag and heads downstairs to check on Captain and fix himself some breakfast.

It’s not even nine in the morning when he’s done eating but he doesn’t want to be sitting in his living room overthinking this whole situation so he figures he can get going to work and start early, _I have a lot of sketching to do anyway_. It rained a little overnight but today it’s just a bit cloudy but really, really cold, he puts on a hoodie under his wool black coat, jeans and boots before he goes out to head to the shop. 

As soon as he gets there, he turns on the lights and the HVAC system, he takes off his coat and goes straight to the back to turn on the coffee machine. He pulls out his cellphone from the pocket of his jeans, he wants to text Bucky to ask him what time is he leaving but he knows the brunet is probably still asleep so he figures he should just wait until Bucky texts him first.

He connects his iPod on the Stereo System of the shop, he feels like he needs to listen something heavy and loud to keep him distracted while he draws some ideas for a few of his new clients; he goes through his 120 GB of music, trying to select something to play, he chooses ‘I Am King’ by Code Orange first and sets up a playlist with Black Flag, deafheaven, Cold World and Incendiary before he settles down on his chair in front of the light table to work.

He’s humming happily along with the music, his sad mood finally gone and his productivity back on track when he hears the ring from bell on the front door, _it must be 10 already._

“Steve?” Darcy peeks her head through the door.

“Yes?” he says, not looking up from the drawing.

“Did you sleep here or something?” she jokes.

“Well, good morning” he turns his head to face her, “I woke up early as usual and just felt like coming here and do some work in advance”, he explains.

“Oh, okay” she nods, “you have walk-ins today, don’t get yourself too exhausted before hand”, Darcy smiles before she walks away.

***

Bucky wakes up at noon, he slept for almost twelve hours, something he hasn’t done in a long time but he’s glad he did because he’s sure that he won’t get too much sleep during this next week, _because I leave for tour, fuck yeah!_

He stretches his back and scratches his belly as he walks towards the closet to start pulling out some of the clothes he bought yesterday and a few other items to toss them into a big duffle bag, he doesn’t need that many clothes since it’s only a week, _a big ass long week without Steve._

Dum Dum said they are going to pick him up on their rental van around 5 o’clock, and he plans on stopping by the tattoo shop to say goodbye to Steve before they get on the road, but first, a good morning text.

 **Bucky:** Good morning, sunshine c:

 _That one’s good, right? Although he’s better than a fucking sunshine._ Bucky sighs like a 15 year old boy in love for the first time while he waits for a response, the one that comes 5 minutes later.

 **Steve:** Morning? Bucky, it’s past noon

 **Bucky:** I know, but I just woke up, therefore it’s morning for me :p

 **Steve:** Well, good morning then (:

 **Bucky:** I’m about to take a shower :c

 **Steve:** Thank you, ha-ha! What time are you leaving?

 **Bucky:** Around 5 but I’ll stop by the shop before we get on the road, okay?

 **Steve:** Sure, see you later then :D

Bucky sings and dances in the shower because he’s really excited about this, if only he could take Steve with him it would be perfect, but it’s only a week, _what can go wrong?_

He already said goodbye to Natasha the night before so he doesn’t have to worry about that, he makes a chicken sandwich to eat and waits for his band-mates to pick him up, he goes through his work email to make sure he didn’t forget to send anything and makes a quick mental list to check he packed everything he needs, luckily Dum Dum said he would get together all their instruments into the van before they picked him up.

Soon enough, he hears a loud horn outside of the building, the brunet picks up his duffle bag and backpack, and he looks around the living room, he palms the pockets of his jeans to see if he has his wallet and phone before he locks the door.

“Get your ass over here!” Dum Dum yells from behind the wheel as he honks desperately.

“Hey, I need to go to Steve’s shop before we get on our way”, Bucky says after he closes the door.

“You need a smoochie-smooch from your boyfriend?” Gabe jokes and Monty make kissy noises from the back seat. _He’s not my boyfriend though, not yet anyway._

“Actually I do, I’m going to spend the next week trapped inside this van with you ugly bastards that I need a proper kiss before we leave”, Bucky smirks giving them the middle finger, they just laugh.

Dum Dum drives to the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop and parks right in front, Bucky sighs as he passes his hand through his long hair before he gets off the van. He dusts off his jeans before he pushes the door of the place to get inside, letting the warm air out.

“Hey, Bucky”, Darcy greets him.

“Hi”, he goes over to the counter to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“He has a client right now but I’m sure he’ll take five minutes if he sees you, he hasn’t stopped working all day and he got here really early”, the girl informs.

“Okay, I’m just gonna go and knock”, he nodded.

He walks to the back of the shop to Steve’s working station, hearing all the buzzing from the tattoo machines and muffled voices, Steve’s door is open and the blond has his back to the door, his head ducked down while he works on a guy’s arm, he’s a broad and muscular redhead man. Bucky doesn’t want to interrupt but the other man notices his presence and clears his throat, and Steve tilts his head up.

“I think there’s someone here to see you”, the man points with his head towards the door where Bucky is standing.

Steve turns his head and smiles as soon as he sees Bucky, the brunet grins back cheerfully, “what time is it?” Steve asks.

“It’s around 5:30”, Bucky answers.

“Damn”, the blond whispers, “Dennis, we’ll take fifteen minutes, is that okay?” he asks the man.

“Sure, I gotta piss”, the man chuckles standing up.

Bucky walks over to Steve who’s now taking off his gloves, “hello”, Bucky says pulling Steve against him by the belt.

“I didn’t even notice what time it was”, Steve rubs Bucky’s forearms with his palms.

“Yeah, Darcy told me you’ve been working non-stop today”, he pouts, Steve just shrugs his shoulders, “the guys are waiting for me at the van, I just came to say goodbye”, Bucky presses his lips into a thin line.

“Okay, have a safe trip” Steve smiles sadly.

Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and kisses him for dear life, eyes closed and lips parted against each other, their mouth are warm and the blond tastes like coffee, the kiss is short but sweet, and just what Bucky needs. As soon as their lips part, Steve hugs Bucky tightly against his chest and places a small peck on the side of Bucky’s neck, making the brunet giggle.

“I’ll walk you outside”, Steve says.

“Bucky, you have to take lots of pictures!” Darcy demands as soon as they’re back on the lobby.

“Sure, you know I will”, he nods at the same time that Dum Dum starts to press down the horn madly.

“I think that’s your call”, Steve says opening the door, Bucky looks back and waves at Darcy.

“So, we’re heading to Philadelphia first, I’ll text you when we get there”, Bucky comments.

“Okay”, Steve looks down at his hands.

“Hurry the fuck up!” Gabe yells from inside the car.

“Shut up fucktard, I’m going!” Bucky shouts back, “be safe, okay?” he says to Steve before he embraces him into a hug.

“Take care”, Steve smiles.

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back”, Bucky demands, pointing with his index finger at Steve as he walks away.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you”, Steve smirks and waves a hand at him, Bucky chuckles opening the car door.

“Bye, guys”, Steve says.

“Later man”, Dum Dum nods once before he starts the engine.

Bucky looks back on the review mirror on the co-pilot seat to see when Steve turns around to get inside the shop. He bites down his bottom lip, he fiddles with the car stereo to set it on auxiliary mode to put on some music, setting it on shuffle mode, and the first song that comes in is ‘The Way It Is’ by Backtrack, he sighs to himself leaning back against the seat, _I’m going to miss him so much_.

***

Steve dives into work again as soon as Bucky leaves, and finally finishes Dennis’ tattoo around six-thirty and stays at the shop until eight, he cleans his working station and packs his things before he closes and heads to the Red Room.

He really needs to start working out again, he’s starting to feel clumsy, besides, he has to keep his mind occupied this next few days. He parks outside on his usual spot and goes inside walking straight to Natasha’s office.

“Steve, good to see you again”, someone says behind him.

“Hey T’Challa, how’s it going?” Steve smiles.

“Pretty busy lately”, the man informs nodding.

T’Challa is one of the martial arts instructors at the Red Room, _just for fun_ , he studied Physics over at Oxford University with an scholarship and then moved to the States after he finished, he’s one of the most intelligent people that Steve has ever met and he’s become a good friend of his, always helping him out when Natasha is not around, teaching him a few things here and there.

“Yeah, me too, with work and stuff”, Steve shrugs.

“I heard about your fight, and I guess you must be feeling better, that’s why you’re here, right?” T’Challa asks.

“Yeah, I don’t want to get rusty”, Steve chuckles.

“I see, you’re looking for Natasha?” the man questions.

“Yes actually, she isn’t here?” Steve points at the closed door of her office.

“No, she has a gymnastics seminar over in Manhattan this week, she left me in charge”, T’Challa informs.

“Oh okay, so I’m just gonna head back and change, it’s nice talking to you”, Steve smiles.

“I’m glad to have you back”, the man pats Steve’s shoulder before he moves away.

Steve changes into his comfy workout clothes, and as soon as he’s outside of the lockers room, he takes a moment to let in his surroundings: the loud music coming from the speakers, the sound of machinery, weighs and treadmills, the mixtures of smells such as sweat, deodorant and lotions, the grunting and growling from the people putting extra work on their exercises, the laughing and chatting from everybody that are enjoying their day.

Steve’s been missing this place, he sighs and takes a few deep breaths before he heads to the mat next to the treadmills to start warming up for a long and much-needed workout session.

***

The Howling Commandos have been on the road following the Thunderbolts’ van for about an hour and a half, their first date is at Philadelphia and is not until tomorrow Tuesday but they want to get there the night before to hang around town and be early on the venue, they already have a place to stay with one Luke’s friends and luckily they won’t have to spend money on a crappy motel.

“Are we there yet?” Bucky asks for the hundredth time.

“Hey, call Luke and ask him if we’re sure about this friend of his”, Dum Dum hands Gabe his cellphone.

“Are we there yet?” Bucky annoys them again. _One hundred and one._

“Hey do you think the Phili scene will have nice girls?” Gabe asks as he dials on Dum Dum’s phone while Monty is snoring in the back seat, and Bucky is completely ignored.

“Are we there yet?” Bucky yells. _One hundred and two._

“Okay man, you’re on speaker, Dum Dum wants to know if we’re cool with this friend of yours”, Gabe says.

“Hey Luke, are we there yet?” Bucky says. _One hundred and three._

“Shut up, Buchanan!” Luke answers before he continues, “yes, we’re cool, Namor knows what’s up, he’ll give us a place to stay”, he assures.

“Sweet!” Dum Dum raises a fist into the air, his other hand tight around the wheel.

“Did you say Namor?” Bucky asks all the sudden. _No way._

“Yes, why?” Luke wonders, “watch were you’re driving, Danny!” he yells.

“Do you know his last name?” Bucky wonders.

“Jesus Christ Bucky, you already have a man and you’re thinking on getting another, you move fast dude, that is so uncool”, Gabe says.

“I’ve heard Steve is a nice guy, don’t you dare, Bucky!” Luke yells.

“Yeah, he is, how did you manage to get you’re hands on him still amazes me”, Dum Dum laughs.

“Hey, he’s a friend of T’Challa’s”, Luke comments, “if I didn’t had my woman already, do you think he’d introduce me to him? I’ll go gay for that man”, Luke comments, a few of the guys laugh over the phone.

“Shut up assholes, I’m asking because I know a Namor, that’s not a common name, do you know if his last name is Mackenzie?” Bucky asks.

“How the hell should I know?” Luke says.

“Well, he’s your friend, duh!” Bucky chuckles.

“Okay, let me check his Facebook”, the man comments.

“If he is Mackenzie, I know him, send me his number”, Bucky demands.

 **Luke C.** : He is Mackenzie. Remember, just because you’re a fruitcake doesn’t mean it’s okay to cheat on your man.

Bucky laughs at the text and presses call at the attached number at the end of the message, turning down the volume from the radio, Gabe and Dum Dum complaining by his side, he drums his fingers against the car board and waits for a tone.

_Not even if they tortured me I’d cheat on Steve, these men don’t know shit._

“Hello?” The man asks.

“Oh my god, are you on the phone? I’m going to leave if you don’t hang up now”, a girl with _a whiny ass voice_ says over the phone.

“You haven’t changed a thing!” Bucky chuckles.

“To whom am I speaking with?” He asks.

“Hey Namor, it’s Bucky”, he says.

“My GBF from high school Bucky?” Namor jokes enthusiastically.

“How many Buckys do you know?” he asks.

“Well, I had intercourse with this woman once that called herself Bucky, or was it Bunny? I don’t even remember anymore!” Namor laughs followed by “Hey!” from the same girl that’s with him.

“You really are the same scumbag as always, aren’t you?” Bucky laughs some more.

“Bucky, wow, where have you been? Fancy to hear from you, kid!” he cheers.

“You’re not going to believe this but I think we’re heading to your house, I’m with Luke”, Bucky explains.

“Are you funnin’ me right now?” Namor wonders.

“Noup”, Bucky answers.

“What a small world, where are you guys?” he asks.

“I don’t even know but this thing says we’re 30 minutes from there”, Bucky says looking at the GPS on the middle of the board.

“Perfect, we are going to get shitfaced as they say, see you in a moment”, Namor announces before he hangs up.

“So, you do know this guy”, Gabe nods.

“Who knows who?” Monty asks between yawns stretching his back, the friends laugh in return.

***

_Fuck me, that was exhausting._

Steve is tired, he hasn’t exercised for more than a week and he did more than what he normally would, and at the moment he’s starting to regret it. He’s hurt, _but a good hurt_ , because of the extra effort he put into his exercises and he’s sure it’s going to be worse in the morning.

He’s in the changing room about to take a shower, he normally gets one at home, but he doesn’t want to ride his bike with his sweaty clothes sticking to his skin, besides, the weather isn’t helping at the moment and he doesn’t want to get sick.

The blond had his phone with him at all times, with his earphones on, he checked the time from now and then because Bucky said he would text him as soon as they arrived to Philadelphia, it’s a two hour drive and it’s been more than four hours after Bucky left and he still hasn’t texted, and Steve tries not to panic.

_He’s probably busy, he just left for Christ sake._

After he takes a quick shower and puts on his clean clothes, he checks his phone again and still, _no messages,_ it’s almost eleven o’ clock when he gets out of the changing rooms, only a few guys from the staff are there placing the things back into place because they’re about to close, he says goodbye to them before he goes outside to hop on his motorcycle and head home.

When he finally arrives after his long day, he opens the door and walks straight to turn on the heating system, he takes off his coat before he goes to check if Miles already brought Captain back, who is cozily sleeping on his bed. Steve is moving to the kitchen when he notices the little sticky note on top of the table:

“We play a lot 2day, Cap is probably really tired. P.S. He’s out of treats. M&M”

Steve smirks and makes a mental note to go and buy new treats the next time he’s out, he opens the fridge for moment and thinks about making something to eat but he’s really tired and he knows he has to wake up early.

“Hey buddy, it’s cold down here, do you want to sleep with me tonight?” Steve kneels down to pet Captain.

The dog is well aware that Steve is addressing him because he starts to wiggle his tale all over the place cheerfully, “that’s what I thought”, Steve smiles standing back up.

He grabs a protein bar and a glass of milk before he checks the back and front doors and turns off the lights and heads to the stairs, stopping on the first step, “C’mon Cap, I know I need the company more than you do”, Steve says sadly, Captain stands up quickly and follows him.

Steve places the glass and the protein bar on the nightstand to go and change into something more comfortable and cozy before getting inside the covers, Captain hops on the bed next to him. Steve opens the protein bar with his teeth as he reaches for his sketchbook with the other hand, the clock on the nightstand says 11:50 and still, no Bucky.

He draws for a few minutes after he finishes his glass of milk, debating with himself if he should text Bucky to see if he’s doing fine, but he doesn’t want to sound desperate when the man has been away for less then a day.

_Get it together, Rogers._

Captain is peacefully sleeping now and he just keeps drawing until his eyelids start to feel really heavy so he puts away his sketchbook and turns off the light from the nightstand. He lays in bed looking at the bright screen of his phone after he sets up his alarm at 6 o’clock, two hours earlier than when he normally wakes up, he tells himself that it’s because he has a lot of work to do and not because he wants to see if Bucky sent him a text during the night.

When he just can’t keep his eyes open any longer, he puts away his phone and shifts on the mattress until he finds the right position, he’s finally able to sleep on his belly now that his chest is not in so much pain anymore and the bruising is finally fading away. The last thing he remembers before he drifts to sleep is those lazy blue eyes and sweet smile that make him go weak on the knees and feel warm all over.

***

Of course he knows Namor Mckenzie, the guy was Bucky’s best friend during high school, _most of it_ , he was one of the only ones that stuck around after Bucky figured out who he was and confessed he’s gay, they always were honest to each other after that and it worked for them.

Namor & Bucky were something like a dynamic duo back in the day, the guy always acted like the older brother that Bucky never had; Namor is extremely good looking but also _extremely straight, it wouldn’t have worked out between us in that way._ After Bucky came out to him, things didn’t change between them and he was really glad for having at least someone, _besides my kid sister_ , to support him and soon enough his parents.

The man was a complete jock and also super _super_ rich, he was on the swimming team and did some water-polo from time to time, and a complete ladies man, and Bucky wasn’t good at sports or interested in girls, but he was good at other things, _like dating Namor’s water-polo teammates that were gay_. Sadly for Bucky but great for Namor, and just before their senior year started, Namor’s parents decided to change him into some other high school that had a better program to see if he had a shot at the National Swimming Team, and after that, they didn’t remain in contact.

“Are you sure this is it?” Dum Dum asks in disbelief.

“This is the address he gave me”, Luke says.

“Oh yes, this is it”, Bucky nods.

This house, _more like mansion_ , had Namor written all over it, a huge patio around the house, a drive-through with a fountain in the middle, a fountain that’s bigger than Bucky’s apartment, the house itself is something out of a real-estate magazine with the white pristine walls and bright lights.

Bucky buzzes the intercom that’s propped on the wall next to the big iron gates, “Earth calling Namor, the Sub-Mariner!” Bucky jokes.

“The Sub-Mariner?” Dum Dum wonders.

“It’s an old nick name”, Bucky shrugs.

“Have I ever told you how much I valued our friendship?” Namor’s voice comes through the speaker.

“C’mon Subby, we’re freezing out here”, Bucky insists.

They get back to their vans and after five minutes, they hear the buzz from the front gates and drive up to the main door, there’s a butler waiting for them by the fountain, _a fucking butler_ , as they get outside of their cars again, Namor walks through the door wearing nothing but gray sweatpants and a glass of whatever fancy alcohol he’s having on his hand.

“There you are”, he says.

“Excuse me if I’m being too forward, and by no means I’m homosexual but holy shit, you’re hot!” Dum Dum takes off his bowler hat and does a mock reverence.

“Are you an Abercrombie model?” Gabe scratches the top of his head.

“Abercrombie? Don’t under estimate me”, Namor stands straighter and raises his perfect plucked eyebrow. _And I’m the homosexual one, eh?_

“Stop telling him these things, or he won’t shut up about it”, Bucky says walking to him.

“Bucky? You’re not a kid anymore, and I’m confident enough to say that you actually look attractive”, Namor smirks opening his arms wide to embrace Bucky into a hug.

“What are you talking about? I’ve always been attractive”, Bucky laughs patting the man’s naked back.

“To the bar everyone!” Namor demands when he let go of Bucky, pointing at the door behind him.

_This is gonna be interesting._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is on tour!
> 
> This is just a sneeky-peeky, I feel like I've been really absent lately but I swear I haven't forgotten about you guys <3 and since I wanna make it up to you, I'll be uploading a chapter a day during this week, I hope you like them.
> 
> As always, thanks for your lovely words and all, I really do enjoy reading your comments so don't be shy and lemme know what you think. On that note, do you like the cameos and that sort of thing? Tell me what you think about them :D who's your favorite character from the MCU, aside from our sweet boys, of course? :)
> 
> December is here already, what the hell happened to the rest of the year? Am I the only one that feels like that? X) Anywayyyyy, hope your Monday goes well, with school, work or what have you. Be safe <3


	46. Chapter 46

TUESDAY

After they arrived at Namor’s house the night before, the man gave them a tour of his house, and it’s way more impressive on the inside than on the outside, _because he has a fucking indoor pool, that’s why!_

The place is massive, Namor lives by himself and there are enough beds that none are going to be sleeping on the floor, which everyone is grateful for. They got their bags out of the van and spread around the bedrooms as Namor ordered his hirelings to cook some _appetizers_ for them, _who the fuck uses that word? At least not a 27 year old!_

After they settled, everybody went down into the pool area and they started drinking, chatting, listening to music and having an awesome time. Namor and Bucky talking about their lives after the man moved away from D.C., Namor’s infinite number of family members, Bucky’s degree and his current job at the Stark Tower, and of course, _Steve_.

“You look different, you seem content Bucky, is there any specific reason?” Namor wondered.

“I don’t know, I don’t think so”, Bucky shook his head slowly, dragging his tongue as he spoke. _The room is starting to spin, wooh!_

“He’s in love, like a teenager, that’s why!” Gabe yelled before he dived into the pool and Bucky giggled.

“Oh my, I have lost you, who is he?” Namor asked curiously.

“Well, his name’s Steve and shit, shit, shit, shit!” Bucky stood up abruptly and palmed his pockets looking for his phone.

_Holy shit, I totally forgot to text Steve._

“Are you alright?” the man asked in confusion.

“I told him I was going to text him as soon as I arrived and I didn’t, where the fuck is my phone?” Bucky yelled in desperation.

“Jesus, calm down!” Luke demanded.

"Is he one of those controlling people?" Namor questioned, "really, Bucky?" he chuckled.

“No, no, no, no, it's not like that, you don’t know him, he’s going to be so worried”, Bucky rumbled.

“Here, drink this, I assure you he is fine, you are fine”, Namor handed him a small glass of water and Bucky drank it all in one shot, _and fuuuuuuck, not water._

He felt his insides on fire as the alcohol settled on his stomach; he knitted his eyebrows together and started to cough loudly, “fucking moron!” Bucky said placing a hand on his forehead and tilted his head backwards, his friends just laughed, _those assholes_.

“You are really easy to deceive, you always fall for that one”, Namor smirked.

“I hate you all”, Bucky whined.

“Hey Bucky, isn’t this your phone?” Misty, the girl drummer of the Thunderbolts, she said while holding his phone on her hand.

“Yes, thank you!” he stumbled with a few chairs as he walked towards her.

_Shit, I’m more wasted than I though._

His phone was completely dead and he needed to text Steve, he though for a moment to go upstairs and try to charge it but it was a long way to where he left his bag, “does anybody have a charger for iPhone? Pleaseeee, it’s an emergency!” Bucky cried.

“Bucky, you’re not going to drunk-call your boyfriend right now, you’ll call him later”, Dum Dum said.

“But moooooooom, I miss him!” he whined as he fell down on a chair.

“It hasn’t even been a day, man”, somebody yelled from around the pool.

That was yesterday but today, that’s a complete different story. Bucky doesn’t even know what day it is.

***

Steve hasn’t been able to fall asleep, he slept for 3 hours and then nothing, turning on the mattress to his sides, to his back and then belly again; twisting and scrunching the pillow a million times, he took his shirt off and put it back on and yet no sleep at all.

He stands up to go to the bathroom without checking the clock, he turns on the lights and closes his eyes again feeling dazed by the brightness of the room, the blond thinks about taking a shower but he did that back at the gym, _it doesn’t make any sense_ , he settles with just washing his face, he drinks some cold water and goes back to bed.

As he gets under the blankets again, he turns to the side, the big red numbers on his alarm clock read 4:45, he huffs loudly, he’s trying to convince himself that he isn’t feeling this way because of Bucky, but he’s well aware that there’s no other reason.

He grabs his phone from the nightstand, unlocks the screen and sighs again because still, nothing from Bucky _. Maybe he’s busy, maybe he had better things to think about, maybe he just forgot, maybe his phone died or maybe something happened to him…_

_What if they had an accident? What if he needs my help?_

Steve turns the light on the nightstand and sits with his back against the headboard, running his hand through his hair and staring down at his phone. _Fuck it_. He goes through his last calls and redials Bucky’s number, _I know it’s really early and he’s probably sleeping but whatever_ , but the tone doesn’t even ring, going straight to voice mail:

“You’re reaching Bucky’s cell, leave a message, loser!”

This definitely doesn’t help him feel better, actually it gets worst, his chest starts to feel tight and cold, growing in and out fast as he tries to rub the tightness away with his palm, suddenly the pressure becomes too much, he isn’t sure if this is panic, anxiety or an asthma attack, since he hasn’t had any of those in a while. He opens the top drawer of the nightstand and pulls out his inhaler, pressing the medication into his mouth. Steve calms himself as the drugs settle in his lungs, and luckily his chest doesn’t feel so tight anymore and his breathing pace is back to normal.

_What the fuck are you doing? This is stupid, you’re being stupid._

Captain must have noticed that Steve is upset because he’s now making soft whining noises getting closer to his left side, resting his head on Steve’s leg, “it’s okay, buddy, I’m fine”, Steve soothes rubbing the top of Cap’s head. After that, he turns off the light and lays down again trying to fall back asleep, at least until his alarm goes off.

A sleepless hour later he jumps out of the bed scared to death when the annoying alarm sound breaks the silence of the room, he totally forgot he set it earlier, but unfortunately he’s already up and doesn’t see the case in going back to bed, instead he heads downstairs to make some breakfast.

The first floor is colder than upstairs and he hisses as soon as he opens the fridge to pull out a couple of eggs and the orange juice, then he fills Captain’s plates before he sits down to eat his food.

As soon as he’s done, he goes back upstairs to put on some presentable clothes, he takes his time choosing what he’s going to wear, the temperature is low and he rides a bike after all, besides, he needs to wear something warm to prevent getting a real asthma attack. It’s eight a.m. when he leaves his house and drives to the shop, he’s well aware that it’s really early but he needs to keep himself occupied so he won’t spend the entire morning thinking something happened to Bucky

He does the same as every morning when he arrives at the shop, coat off, music on and sit to draw. For some reason, he feels inspired today and draws for hours, some flash tattoos, new ideas for walk-in clients and so on until he finally hears the bell from the front door, _is it 10 already?_

“You’re here early again”, Darcy leans against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Indeed”, he says turning around in his chair.

“And why is that?” She wonders.

“I don’t know, I couldn’t sleep”, Steve shrugs.

“Well, at least you’re being productive, those are nice”, Darcy says pointing at the drawing in front of him.

“Thanks”, he smiles.

“I’ll be on the computer in case you need anything”, she announces over her shoulder before she walks away and Steve nods in return.

He’s putting away his things shortly after since it’s almost time to open the shop when he hears Darcy calling for him, “What is it?” He asks walking to where she’s sitting behind the computer.

“Have you talked to Bucky?” she asks.

“No, I haven’t”, he says sadly.

“Oh, I’m asking because Monty just uploaded some pictures on Facebook, he tagged Bucky on them”, the girl informs.

“Really?” Steve asks surprised.

“Yeah, come take a look”, she waves at him.

Steve walks around the counter and stands up straight with his hands on his hips, Darcy starts to browse through the pictures, the album title is ‘Tour Diaries: Day one’, Bucky isn’t in the first pictures, photos around a living room that looks incredibly expensive and a fancy kitchen, snacks and bottles of alcohol, a pool, _an indoor pool to be exact_. A picture of Danny, Matt, Misty and Colleen, all of the Thunderbolts but Luke, the Howling Commandos making funny faces at the camera, that’s the first picture that Bucky is in and Steve smiles to himself, feeling really stupid because he had the little attack early in the morning for nothing; more pictures of them scattered around and then inside the pool.

But then Steve freezes in place, a cold chill runs down through his spine, staring with wide eyes at the picture in front of him, his chest feels tight but manages to stabilize his breathing right on time, the blond tucks his hands inside the pocket of his jeans shifting from one foot to another.

 _Everything for a stupid picture,_ and it makes Steve feel weak in the knees. Bucky is standing by the edge of the pool, he has no shirt on and he’s wearing swim trunks, like he just went off the water, his hair soaking wet and drops falling down his chest, _of course it sounds really hot_ , but that’s not what bothers Steve.

Bucky isn’t alone in the picture, he’s with another guy to his left, the man has his arm around Bucky’s neck, kissing Bucky’s temple and his left hand on Bucky’s naked chest, Bucky has a frown on his face but a huge smile spreading on his lips, the brunet’s arm is around the other man’s waist and his hand gently hugging his hipbone, right above the elastic band of his speedo.

_Yes, a speedo!_

_Who the fuck wears a speedo?_

The description of the picture says ‘A drunk Bucky & Namor’, this man, this Namor guy is really attractive, he has tanned and smooth skin and not a single birth mark, blemish or hair on his well-defined muscular body, wide shoulders and a tinny waist, jet black hair, thin eyebrows and slightly pointy ears.

“Just so you know, you’re more ripped than that guy”, Darcy comments bringing him back to reality, she must have noticed he’s uncomfortable.

“No, I’m not”, he responds bitterly.

“Besides, I can put my money on it, that you’re bigger down there too”, she smirks wiggling her eyebrows at him, pointing at Namor’s crotch on the computer screen, and Steve turns bright red instantly.

***

“Help me, I’m dyiiiiiiiiiing!” Bucky grunts as soon as he wakes up.

He has a massive hung over, and the minute he tries to sit down, he regrets everything that happened the night before, _as always_ , he lays back in the bed looking around the room taking in his surroundings, he's alone in Namor’s bedroom and wearing nothing but boxers.

Bucky rubs his belly as it growls loudly, _damn it, I’m hungry_ , he tries to stand back up slowly this time and blinks a few times to clear his mind, magically his duffle bag is already there and he chuckles because he doesn’t even remember how it got there.

His phone is on top of the nightstand but still has no battery; the brunet opens his bag and looks for his charger after he puts on some pants and a shirt. When he finally finds it, he goes to sit down on the couch that’s against the far wall on the right where he spots an outlet.

Bucky passes his hands through his hair waiting for his phone to come back to life, wiggling his foot against the floor feeling a bit desperate now, he really wants to call Steve.

He hears a knock on the door before someone opens it, “wake up, you sloth”, Namor comes inside with a glass of water and sits down next to him.

“Oh yes!” Bucky cheers grabbing the glass and the aspirins that Namor hands him.

“What a night, it was madness”, the man comments.

“I know, I don’t remember anything”, Bucky chuckles.

“The last thing I recall is you saying that you wanted to propose to this man of yours”, Namor says.

“I said that? Damn, I must have been pretty out”, he giggles.

“Indeed, I fainted on the living room couch with a bottle of whiskey on my hand”, Namor shrugs.

“I don’t even know how I got here, what time is it?” Bucky asks.

“It’s two in the afternoon”, Namor informs.

“Shit”, he hisses under his breath.

“You have not communicated with him yet?” the man wonders.

“No, that’s what I’m about to do” Bucky points at his phone.

“I will leave you to it, we are cooking a barbecue before the show tonight, come to us when you are done”, Namor says before he walks away out of the room.

Bucky sighs deeply before he finally turns his phone on and tries to think what he wants to say to Steve while the tone sounds in his right ear. He misses him, of course he does, and he wants to hear his voice and tell him that he wants to see him and he feels really shitty because he didn’t text him when he said he would.

“Hello?” Steve answers.

“I’m sorry, Steve”, Bucky says right away.

“What for?” Steve asks dryly.

“I totally forgot to text you yesterday and then I got really drunk and my phone died”, he explains.

“Don’t worry Bucky, it’s fine”, Steve says and Bucky has to bite down on his bottom lip because for some reason, Steve sounds really distant, like the man is not even paying attention.

“Are you busy?” Bucky wonders.

“No, I’m on my lunch break”, he informs.

“Oh, okay”, Bucky says in a small voice.

There’s silence for a few seconds and he hears noises on the other side of the phone as if Steve is moving some things, he feels so stupid because he doesn’t know what to say, this call is beginning to be awkward but he can’t wrap his head around why.

“Are you having a good time?” Steve is the first to ask something.

“Yes, everything is great, turns out that we’re staying at an old friend’s house, his name is Namor, we haven’t seen each other since high school until now, he’s a cool guy”, the brunet explains, “his family has always been wealthy and he lives by himself now and this place is practically a mansion, he has an indoor pool, can you believe it?” Bucky says excitedly.

“That’s nice, I’m glad, Buck”, Steve comments.

“I just came back to reality a few minutes ago, I woke up on his bed with just boxers on, I don’t even now what happened last night but I’m pretty sure I embarrassed myself”, Bucky laughs, “tonight is our first show, we’ll see how it goes”, he adds.

Bucky hears Steve sighing over the phone, taking a few deeps breaths before he speaks again, “I’m sure you guys are going to do great”, the other guy says.

“Yeah, I hope”, Bucky says before a few voices come from downstairs calling for him, “Steve, I’m gonna get going, Namor is cooking food before the show, I’ll let you go back to work and stuff”, he comments.

“Okay”, Steve answers plainly.

“I’ll call you later”, Bucky says.

“Sure, say hi to the guys for me, yes?” He asks.

“Of course”, Bucky answers cheerfully.

“Bye, Bucky”, Steve says before hanging up.

_Well, that was uncomfortable._

_I don’t think he’s mad because I forgot to text him, is he?_

***

Steve doesn’t know what to think about this whole situation, it sure is confusing and frustrating, he’s been telling himself that Bucky will find someone better for himself eventually, and he definitely feels sad about it, the problem is that he didn’t expected it to be this soon.

He knows he’s overthinking it, _because I always do_ ; Bucky did say that this guy is an old friend of his, he sounded happy and excited and Steve feels so selfish because Bucky is out on his first tour and having a good time with his friends and all that Steve wants is for him to come back.

_What if they realized that they’ve been missing each other so much that they don’t want to be apart ever again?_

_Stop it Steve, just stop it._

_They’re just friends._

_But what if they aren’t just friends?_

This has a little to do with the fact that he feels a bit self-conscious about his looks, and because he doesn’t see what other people see, he knows he’s a good man, but he’s afraid that it might not be enough for Bucky, and the guy already started to realize that.

He sighs loudly running his hands through his hair before he stands up and tosses away the box from his takeout food, and then goes back to his working station. Steve knows that Bucky is not his boyfriend, Bucky is not his, they are just friends that happen to be dating, they didn’t agree on being exclusive and they said they were going to take it slow, _but is this too slow for Bucky?_

Steve can’t complain if Bucky decides to go out with someone else, or to kiss someone else, or to hold hands with someone else, or to sleep with someone else, or to have sex with someone else, _someone else that isn’t me_.

And that’s why Steve didn’t say anything over the phone, because he has no right to, Bucky is free to do whatever he likes with whoever he pleases, it hurts, _it fucking does_ , but he will have to swallow his tears and move on if that’s the case, _at least we tried this time_.

Gladly, Bucky didn’t ask how he was and Steve’s happy for it, he doesn’t want to explain how his body is not cooperating with him, or that he worried over nothing, or that he misses him so much it hurts.

He prepares his working station for his next client, he’s doing a calf piece on a guy named Henry McCoy, the tattoo is based on the novel Strange Case Of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, Steve looks down to the sketch he drew and smiles wide because he’s really happy of how it turned out: it’s traditional style, Dr. Jeckyll has a serious expression and he’s holding Erlenmeyer Flask but the one in reflection of the glass is Mr. Hyde, looking back at him with a wicked grin on his face.

If something can make Steve feel better is this, his art, his shop and his job; it’s one of those things that makes him feel proud and sure about himself, because not in a million years would have he imagined that this was going to be his life, and he loves it.

He walks out of his working station into the hall to go and greet this guy, he’s already talking to Darcy, and Steve frowns a little because the guy is nothing like he imagined. He’s just a kid, well, not a kid exactly, maybe around his early twenties, a nerdy looking guy with brown and messy short hair, thick eyebrows and big square glasses, he’s wearing blue jeans and black dress shoes, a plaid shirt with a black tie and a dark red V-neck sweater, a black coat over it.

“You must be Henry, I’m Steve”, Steve extends his hand.

“Nice to meet you, please, just call me Hank”, the guy shakes Steve’s hand and smiles shyly.

“Okay Hank, are your ready for this?” Steve asks.

“As ready as I can be”, Hank says before he follows Steve to the back.

Steve places all his things on the little table next to his chair before he shows the final sketch to Hank, “what do you think?” Steve wonders.

“It’s amazing, it’s perfect”, Hank nods with wide eyes.

“Let’s get started then”, he rubs his hands together smiling wide.

Steve does the placement on the man’s leg and instructs him to lay down to begin with his work, he traces a few smooth testing lines since this is Hank’s first tattoo, after that, he works first on the outline while Hank asks him about his job and his own tattoos.

“If I may ask, why this?” Steve wonders curiously, looking down at the man’s leg.

“It’s something like a reminder I guess, that people are not always what you think they are”, Hanks says over his shoulder looking back at Steve.

“That’s really accurate”, Steve chuckles softly.

“Yes, and I identify with them a little”, Hank shrugs a shoulder.

“How come?” Steve asks.

“By no means I have dissociative identity disorder, but Mr. Jeckyll was a scientist and so am I”, he says cheerfully, “besides, do you ever have a feeling of wanting to show your true self but you’re too afraid that people might reject you because of it? Because they expect you to be something else?” Hank adds with determination in his voice.

“Well, in my case is a little different but I definitely know what it feels like to be rejected because of who you are, or the way you look like”, Steve comments.

“I’m glad you’re the one doing this then”, Hank smiles.

“How old are you, Hank?” He questions.

“I’m twenty one”, the man responds.

“You’re still young, and believe me, I can tell you’re smart, you don’t need anybody’s approval to be who you want to be, or to do whatever you wanna do, as long as you don’t hurt yourself or others, go for it, don’t let people bring you down”, Steve shrugs casually.

“That’s actually pretty good advice”, Hank laughs warmly.

_As a matter of fact it is, I should listen to myself more often._

“And you say you’re a scientist, that’s awesome”, Steve smirks.

“Yes, I’m doing my Ph. D. on Biophysics, and also would like to do some research on genetics, I’m working on that”, Hank informs.

“And you’re 21? That’s amazing, Hank!” Steve praises.

“Thanks, I’ve always wanted to play sports though, but I’ve never been the athletic type, so I didn’t even try”, Hank says sadly.

“It’s never too late, I go to a gym that has lots of things you can practice, from MMA, kickboxing, muay thai, to cross-fit and wrestling, boxing, even gymnastics”, he explains, “I assure you nobody will judge you there, if you’re interested we have some business cards over by the counter, you can take one”, Steve offers.

“That sounds great, thank you”, Hank says shyly.

“Any time”, he nods.

***

“Namor, you should totally come along with us for the rest of the tour”, Gabe comments.

“That’s actually a great idea”, Dum Dum yells over by the table.

“Sure, it would be fun”, Namor shrugs.

“Jeez, you don’t have to be so excited”, Bucky comments sarcastically, laughing out loud.

“I will join you but I have my conditions”, Namor points a long finger at him.

“Shoot”, he nods.

“I am not sleeping on anybody’s bed, couch or floor, I am not poor, my father has connections with the Hilton’s, give me the locations for the next shows and I will handle this”, Namor demands.

“I won’t object to that!” Luke exclaims laughing.

“Something else, princess?” Bucky asks.

“It’s King Namor to you, peasant!” He jokes and everybody giggles, “one thing, we come back here tonight and we can go on our way tomorrow morning”, he adds.

“Perfect!” Monty cheers enthusiastically.

As soon as they’re done with the food, they scatter around into their rooms to change and prepare their things for the show; Bucky dresses himself quickly and takes some time to text Natasha to let her know that everything is going fine.

 **Bucky:** I miss you, mom!

 **Nat:** Hey James, how are you?

 **Bucky:** Don’t you miss me? :c

 **Nat:** Not really, how’s your tour life going? :p  
**Bucky:** Pretty cool so far, we’re about to head to the venue.

 **Nat:** That’s nice; Clint is going to stay here the entire week ;)

 **Bucky:** OMG, I AM BURNING THE COUCH WHEN I GET BACK!

 **Nat:** Relax, the couch is fine, the kitchen table not so much :D

 **Bucky:** NATALIAAAAAAAAAAA!

 **Nat:** Goodbye James XXOO

Bucky shakes his head and chuckles, he’s happy for Natasha, he really is, she deserves the world and he’s glad that she has finally found someone that can keep up with her and support her the way that Clint does, that pair is so crazy in sync that you would think they’ve known each other since forever. He browses through his Facebook page and laughs at the pictures that his friends uploaded, he’s drunk in a lot of them but luckily he wasn’t embarrassing himself that much. Then he sits on the edge of the table looking for his sister’s number on his contact list.

“Hey, Bucks”, she answers.

“Hey, Becks”, he mocks.

“You are so uncool”, Becky whines.

“No, I’m not. How you doing kiddo?” he asks.

“I’m fine, you? Still at Namor’s?” she says.

“Yeah, we’re getting ready for tonight’s show, you’re coming tomorrow, right?” Bucky wonders.

“Of course, my boyfriend can’t go so a friend is going with me”, his sister informs.

“Did you say boyfrienddddddd?” Bucky teases.

“Well, he’s not exactly my boyfriend, we fool around and stuff, we’re friends, he’s cool, you’ll meet him when you come down for Thanksgiving”, Becky explains, “are you bringing Steve?” She asks.

“I don’t know, I haven’t asked him yet, I do want to but I don’t know if he’ll freak out about the whole parents thing, besides you know how mom and dad are”, he sighs.

“Well, my mom would probably want to keep him here and my dad will ask him tons of weird questions”, the girl laughs.

“Exactly, I don’t know if he would like to go, we’ll see”, he huffs.

“Just ask him, dude, you have nothing to lose”, Becky says.

“Yeah, you’re right, I guess”, Bucky sighs.

“I’m always right”, she giggles.

“Sure, whatever”, he laughs, “Imma get going, we have to be early at the venue”, he informs.

“Okay, I’ll text you tomorrow, good luck”, she hums.

“Thanks Becky, later”, Bucky says before he hangs up.

After he dresses himself with some jeans, a t-shirt and hoodie, Bucky goes down again to see how everyone is doing, and it turns out they are waiting for him already. They hop into the van and Bucky puts on his forgotten jacket over his hoodie before he programs the GPS to let it guide them to the venue.

“I know the location, a fellow of mine owns the place”, Namor informs from where he’s sitting in the back next to Gabe.

“You know everybody!” Monty says.

“I am handsome, smart, rich and popular, what do you expect?” Namor smirks shrugging a shoulder.

“Wow, you forgot modest, tell me more”, Bucky cheers sarcastically, his friend just gives him the finger.

They drive for twenty minutes to get to the venue, as soon as everybody gets out of the van and walk to the front door, they’re greeted by a group of guys that say hello to Namor and ask politely if they need help to carry their things inside into the stage. The groups go back to their vans and start to carry the things inside, and Bucky rushes to grab his guitar case before anybody else does, _because nobody messes with her, that’s why._

The place isn’t too big and it’s still early but a lot of people are already there and Bucky is starting to feel a little nervous, he never does when he’s performing on his hometown but this is different, this is their first performance in another city, on another state, hours away from his friends, _hours away from Steve._

Bucky sits on a chair behind the table of their merchandise that they place on the lobby, a few local bands are going to play and he wants to check them out, but right now he just wants to be by himself for a bit. Dum Dum and Gabe are the ones that handle the PR and manage their shows because they like to socialize with the crowd, and Monty is currently talking with a few people who are asking about their EP. Bucky wasn’t quiet at the beginning when he joined the band but after Brock, he just keeps things to himself and any of them seem to mind, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be charming when he wants to be, batting his eyelashes at girls that look at him with gooey eyes, because Bucky Barnes is a tease like that. _Poor girls, if they knew_.

At the moment, Bucky just puts on his earphones and hums to himself at the rhythm of ‘Fever Hunting’ by Modern Life Is War, _this is such a good album, it just gets me in the mood_. He checks the time on his phone, it’s 6:45, the show is about to start in a few minutes, he thinks for a second about texting Steve but he knows that he’s about to close the shop, _he’s probably busy_ , Bucky doesn’t want to intrude, _I’ll just text him later_.

He listens to his music for a little while until they call for him, the show is about to begin, he goes to stand on a side of the stage to check out the local bands, a few of the guys shake hands with him and introduce themselves because they recognize him, _it feels really weird, but it’s nice._

The local bands are really good, the place is beginning to get even more packed, the walls have a few posters on, some of them look vintage and others are newer, he sees one in particular that makes him smile, it’s from Blacklisted's first headlining tour, Steve really likes that band so it makes him think about him, Bucky sighs softly trying to put his concentration back into the next band that are setting their things up on the small stage.

***

Steve closes the shop at eight o’clock again and heads straight to the Red Room, he’s in a better mood and he wants to put extra work on his routine today, he feels like he needs to catch up for all those days he missed because of his injuries.

When he arrives, it’s the same as the day before, Natasha isn’t there, he goes to change and as soon as he comes out, Steve greets T’Challa and a few of the other people before he starts warming up.

After that, he runs a few miles on the treadmill, his mind hasn’t drifted to think about Bucky the whole afternoon because he kept himself occupied with work after he talked to him over the phone, that until now. For some reason, he starts feeling really insecure at the moment, he remembers his little incident in the morning when he couldn’t breathe properly and had to use his medication, Steve really wants to keep himself healthy and well, he hasn’t come this far for his body to start failing him again, so he runs, and runs, and runs.

When he feels the muscles of his legs starting to burn, the blond slows his pace for a bit to help his legs to relax before he changes into the stations he normally does, right when he’s walking towards the cross-fit area, Steve’s phone buzzes inside the pocket of his pants.

It’s a message from Bucky, it has a file attached on it: a picture taken up from a stage, probably from the venue where he’s going to play, the place is full with a big crowd, it has dim lights, the walls filled with posters.

 **Bucky:** Look at how many people came!

Steve feels his body warm inside, not because of his exercising, but because he can read the excitement in Bucky’s words, but also makes him feel guilty because he really wishes he was here instead of miles away from him, and the blond has no right to feel this way.

 **Steve:** That’s amazing Bucky, I know you guys will do great

 **Bucky:** Yeah, I hope so

 **Steve:** Enjoy the show, have fun, everything will be fine :)

 **Bucky:** We’re about to start, I’ll call you later

The blond sighs looking down at the bright screen of his phone, he wants to say so many things to Bucky, the way he misses him, that he wants to cuddle with him, to have him by his side while they watch a movie, to go out on a walk and so much more, but he doesn’t say any of those things, he keeps quiet as usual. _I’m just being mushy, I’m just being pathetic, he’s been away for just a day, a stupid day_. He just swallows the big lump of tears that start to form on his throat and puts his phone away to continue with his exercises.

Time passes by, grunts, deep breaths, muscles clenching, and after the two and a half crazy and intense hours that he’s been exercising, his clothes are drenched with sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead and his mouth dry, he takes a quick shower before T’Challa closes the place and says his goodbyes.

When he gets home to an excited dog, he kneels next to him right away to start petting him, Captain lays on his back almost automatically, exposing his belly and wiggling his tail all over the place, he stays there for a while scratching and rubbing until he hears his stomach growling at him. It’s late for him to eat a big meal so he just settles with a bowl of cereal and goes upstairs to change into his pajamas.

“Come here, buddy”, he calls for Captain when he moves up the stairs.

When he’s finally settled on his bed sitting against the headboard with Captain on his side, he wonders if Bucky is going to call him any time soon, he’s been waiting for his call since the brunet said he’ll call, and he doesn’t want to wait as the day before, and really, Bucky is the one that’s been talking to Steve first.

Steve eyes the clock next to him, 12:20, the show is probably done by now, he unlocks his phone and calls Bucky, the ring starts to sound a few times and Steve begins to feel anxious, just when he thinks it’s going to voicemail, the other guy answers. Loud noises, muffled music on the background and Bucky laughing on the other end.

“Stop it, Namor!” Bucky demands between giggles.

“You have always been so ticklish”, a man’s voice says.

“I’m serious, let me go”, Bucky laughs some more, not sounding serious at all.

Steve wonders for a minute if Bucky answered by accident or if he forgot that Steve was even there, the blond listens closely without saying a word and waits until he hears Bucky shifting on the other side until the music isn’t audible anymore.

“Hello?” Bucky finally says.

“If you’re busy we can talk some other time”, Steve comments sadly.

_What was I thinking? Of course he’s busy._

“It’s okay, what’s up?” Bucky asks.

“Nothing, I…-I just wanted to…” he mumbles.

_Just say you miss him, you big idiot._

“Oh my god, Steve!” Bucky exclaims loudly interrupting Steve’s thoughts, “you should have seen the show, it was amazing, the tickets completely sold out, the people were great, they even knew my lyrics!” he adds excitedly.

“Really? That’s wonderful, Bucky”, Steve says back.

“I know, we’re back at Namor’s, and guess what? He’s going to join us for the rest of the tour!” Bucky shouts.

“Oh, that’s… that’s awesome, Buck”, he lies, or at least tries to.

Steve breathes loudly a few times, waiting for Bucky to say something back, anything, he doesn’t know what else to say and a few silent seconds pass until there are noises again, “Steve?” Bucky finally speaks, almost like a whisper.

“Listen Bucky, I’m glad you’re having an awesome time, I’m going to sleep now, I have to wake up early”, he informs, his tone of voice serious.

“Okay, goodnight”, Bucky huffs, his voice sounds angry.

He feels completely lost, he’s not sure if he said something to make him upset or if he was waiting to hear something else. Steve put his phone away, turning the light off before he rests his head against the cold pillow and pulls the blankets up to his chin.

_Bucky and Namor._

_Namor and Bucky._

_And this guy is going to be with Bucky 24/7 for almost a week._

_Fantastic._

_Great._

_Just perfect!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned, a chapter a day :)
> 
> Let me know what you think about this <3


	47. Chapter 47

WEDNESDAY

Steve’s morning is the same as the two days before: waking up earlier, breakfast and work, nothing especial or extraordinary. He calls Bucky around noon when he’s taking a 15-minute break with his current client, but the brunet doesn’t answer, and Steve just goes back to work. After he finishes with that client, the blond is suppose to be taking his lunch break but he isn’t in the mood, he just grabs a granola bar and shifts back to his working station to sketch something until his next appointment, the one that’s schedule at 4 o’clock, _that’s an hour from now._

A few minutes later while he has his face buried on his sketchbook, he hears someone clearing their throat by the door; he turns around to see who it is and smiles.

“Hey”, Steve says.

“We are going out”, Sam has his hands on his hips and a smirk on his face.

“We are? Where?” He asks.

“To eat, of course”, the man nods, Steve is about to protest when Sam holds his index finger to the air, “Darcy already told us you haven’t eaten today, besides it wasn’t a question”, Sam comments.

“Who’s we?” Steve wonders.

“Me of course”, Clint comes to stand next to Sam by the door, placing an arm around the man’s shoulders.

“Guys, I’m not hungry, really”, Steve shakes his head.

“That is such bullshit and you know it”, Clint points a finger a him, “you’re not getting out of this, let’s go, chop chop”, Sam adds clapping his hands.

“Uggh, alright”, he huffs standing up.

Steve puts on his coat before he goes out into the cold November air, the three of them walk to a deli that’s a few blocks away from the shop, Sam and Clint talking about their day and jobs and how well everything is going.

When they arrived, a waiter comes to their booth to place down their order, Clint talks about Natasha and her seminary and that he’s been staying with her these past few days, _lucky him_. Sam mentions the day he met Sharon’s family and how amazing their relationship is going, Steve really tries to focus on what they’re saying, he’s really happy for his friends, but he can only think about Bucky.

The waiter comes back with their food and the friends chew in silence for a few minutes, Steve is looking down at his plate pushing around his food with the fork on his right hand, his left elbow propped on the table with his cheek resting on the knuckles, _my ma’ will be so mad about that_. Sam and Clint are talking about an ‘Exotic Birds’ exhibit that they want to go, _or at least that’s what I think they’re talking about._

***

The drive to Baltimore is fast, they arrive at the hotel at 2 p.m. and check into their rooms. Namor booked a room to himself, “in case if I get lucky tonight”, he said, and Bucky just laughed. The Howling Commandos are staying in one room, and the Thunderbolts in two since they’re five and two of them are women.

They leave their vans on the self-parking area because they’re going to drive to the show later on; the place is huge, incredible and _expensive as fuck._

“Of course, it’s a Hilton, you tasteless mule”, Namor shakes his head as they walk to the elevator.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry that I don’t use money to wipe my ass”, Bucky chuckles.

“That’s kinda stupid, ain’t it? Dollar bills are not that soft”, Dum Dum rubs his chin with his index and thumb, frowning his lips as he pretends to think about what Bucky said, the rest of the guys laugh loudly before a receptionist shushes them and gives them a weird look, Bucky rolls his eyes before the elevator doors open.

They agree to go down and meet at the lobby once they leave their bags on the rooms, to hang around the area before the show. They walk on the hall to their room, Namor’s room is in the middle of the hall, they wait until he opens the door and everybody exclaims in surprise when they see the inside, the room is huge, it has a king-size bed, the bathroom has a big jacuzzi inside, a rest area and even a bar.

Bucky steps in a little further to appreciate the view and blows a low whistle leaning against the rail of the little balcony, this is the Camden Yards Hilton, right next to the Oriole Park and Bucky feels warm all over his body when Steve pops into his mind.

He palms his pockets to look for his phone but he can’t find it, he takes off his backpack and searches for it in there but the _stupid_ thing isn’t there either, he’s beginning to panic, he tries to think about when was the last time he used it, _it’s probably in the van._

“Looking for this?” Namor smirks lifting his perfect shaped eyebrow at him, holding Bucky’s phone in his hand.

“Asshole, you had it this whole time?” Bucky snatches it from him.

“I was waiting for you to realize you didn’t have it with you”, he chuckles.

“Wow, what a great friend”, Bucky says sarcastically, he unlocks his phone and hisses when he realizes he has a missed call from Steve, _damn it._ He was going to call him but he decides to take a picture of the stadium in front of him and send it on a message instead.

***

Steve must have been really distracted at the moment because their friends are now quiet; he looks up to see the confused look on his friend’s faces, “did you say something?” he asks.

“I asked you how’s your boy doing”, Sam frowns his eyebrows.

“Oh”, Steve whispers before he looks down again to his half eaten food, “he’s umm…-he’s not my boy, Sam”, he says bitterly.

Sam doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, neither does Clint, Steve is starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, he looks up again to see that his friends are exchanging weird looks between them, like they’re having a conversation in silence.

“Have you talked to him?” Clint asks finally.

“Not today, but yes”, Steve chews the inside of his cheek, feeling upset about how small his voice sounds.

“I heard they did great last night, they uploaded a few pictures on their Facebook page this morning”, Sam comments.

“They did?” Steve asks surprised.

“You would know this already if you had a Facebook”, Clint waves his hands at him.

“He doesn’t have one because he’s an old man”, Sam jokes.

“Dude, I have old uncles that have Facebook, he’s just weird”, Clint laughs.

“Well yeah, I am weird, so what?” Steve huffs falling back against the seat.

“Woah, he’s just kidding Steve”, Sam frowns.

“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just…” Steve sighs passing a hand through his hair before he continues, “I’ve had a lot of work lately, and…ugghh”, he exclaims resting his head on the heel of his hands.

_I’m being dramatic._

Steve is well aware that he’s passed days, forget days, weeks, even years without Bucky and no problem what so ever, but nothing like this, knowing that Bucky is away from him having such a good time and probably realizing that he’s been wasting time with _weird and dumb_ Steve. What scares him the most is that he’s going to comeback in a few days and say this was fun while it lasted. But Steve shouldn’t blame his friends for his own crankiness.

“It’s okay, we get it”, Clint shrugs.

“Besides, look at him, you can get any weirder than this”, Sam laughs pointing with his thumb at Clint, who’s sitting next to him.

“You’re not so behind of me, Wilson!” Clint says after taking the last sip of his caffeinated drink.

And that makes Steve chuckle, a laugh that makes his body tremble and tilt his head backwards giggling into the air, his friends join him right away, _and oh man, did I need this_ , he hasn’t laughed like this in a few days.

“We missed you buddy”, Sam said as soon as he calmed himself.

“Yeah, I missed you too” Steve smiled.

They laugh some more and chat for a few more minutes as they finish their meals, talking about the upcoming shows that they want to attend, Clint explaining to Steve the new tattoo that he wants to get done and the blond promising that he’ll do a sketch for him, Sam commenting on his volunteer work at the VA office near their apartment and so on, that until Steve feels his phone buzzing inside the pocket of his jeans.

 **Bucky:** The view from our hotel room c:

 **Steve:** Wow, that is incredible! :D

 **Bucky:** Incredibly expensive haha, but Namor is paying for everything so whateves :p

 **Steve:** That’s nice of him

 **Bucky:** Sorry if I didn’t answer earlier, Namor had my phone and I hadn’t noticed until now

 **Steve:** Don’t worry about it

Steve huffs at the message and tries not to feel jealous about it, this is Bucky’s friend, Bucky’s friend doing friendly things, _or maybe he’s more than that now_ , but Steve can’t say anything about it.

“Everything alright?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, I just realized what time it is, I have to get back to work”, Steve says pulling out a 20 dollars bill from his wallet.

“Are you sure you can’t stay a few more minutes?” Clint wonders.

“I wish I could, maybe some other time, but I’m glad we did this”, Steve offers a small smile, hoping that it looks better than what it feels like.

“Don’t get so lost”, Sam smiles back.

“I won’t, see you later guys”, he waves goodbye at them.

The blond walks back to the shop with his shoulders hunched and his head down, he looks at the message on his phone again and feels even worse for no reason at all, he doesn’t even know what he’s upset about, Bucky doesn’t reply anything back after that, and it definitely doesn’t help his mood. He just drowns himself with work and waits impatiently, hoping that time will pass by faster to go to the Red Room later at night and workout his frustration away.

***

“Oh my, to whom do I owe this pleasure?” Namor smirks.

“Hi, I’m Emma”, the girl smiles wide.

“Hey, Nammor”, Becky rolls her eyes.

“Rebecca?” He asks in surprise.

“Namor, you remember my sister?” Bucky questions annoyed.

“Of course, look at you, you’re such a beautiful woman now!” Namor extends his arms to embrace her into a hug.

“I know, thanks”, she doesn’t hug him, she just pats his shoulder.

“The Barnes, always immune to my charms”, the man chuckles.

“I’m not a Barnes”, the blonde girl smiles.

“Guys, this is my friend Emma”, Becky introduces.

“May I buy you a drink?” Namor asks right away.

“Sure”, the girl smirks playfully.

“Emma, what about Scott?” Becky whispers between her teeth.

“Scott who?” she shrugs before she hooks her arm with Namor’s and walks away towards the bar.

They’re standing inside the venue where the show is being held, they spend their day walking around the city and behaving like classic tourists, taking pictures with historic monuments and going into local record shops, eating the traditional food of the place and what not.

Becky arrives in time, right before when the show is about to start, the Howling Commandos are the second to last band to play, so they have time to hang out at the place and chat for a bit.

“So, how’s it going?” Becky asks.

“What’s going?” Bucky wonders from where he’s setting their merch table.

“Your relationship, obviously, duh!” She shakes her head, Becky’s eyebrows almost touching her hairline, making wrinkles on her forehead.

“Everything’s fine”, he says while he folds one of the t-shirts they have on display.

“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming”, his sister tilts her head to the side.

“The thing is we agreed on taking this slow and everything, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I feel dumb because I want to spend all the time with him but I don’t want to suffocate him either”, he explains sadly.

“That’s normal I guess, have you talked to him about this?” She asks sitting down on the chair behind the table.

“Well, not really, I don’t want to scare him away, he’s not even my boyfriend yet”, Bucky looks down at his chest fiddling with the string of his hoodie.

“By the things you’ve told me, it seems to me like he is, dude”, she laughs.

“Uggh, I don’t now Becks”, he sighs, “I really, really, really like him, you know”, Bucky passes a hand through his hair to move away the shorter strands that are falling from his tiny ponytail.

“Yeah, I kinda figured, you taking it slow? That’s a first, I’m still amazed that you’re not on your knees begging him for sex”, Becky laughs some more.

“Exactly, this is driving me crazy”, Bucky huffs, “he’s driving me crazy”, he yells before he rests his elbows on the table, letting his head fall forward.

“Just talk to him”, Becky pats his head.

“I will, as soon as we get back”, he decides, “I miss him so much, and I’ve been chewing my tongue off to prevent talking to him, it’s just been two days, this is ridiculous”, he shakes his head.

“You’ve always been a little ridiculous”, she smiles, “just take it easy and communicate”, she nods.

“When did you become so smart?” He asks smiling.

“I learned from the best”, she says fondly locking a strand of hair behind Bucky’s ear.

“You’re nice, I like you”, Bucky grins wide.

“I know, I like me too”, she shrugs chuckling and Bucky just shakes his head at her.

_Yes, we’re siblings._

_And yes, I will talk to Steve._

_I have to, this is killing me!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said there was going to be a new chapter a day during this week but I kinda lied, there won't be a new chapter tomorrow because *spoiler* Bucky and Steve didn't talked or texted at all but I promise you'll read why on Friday and I swear that all this angst will be rewarded soon enough :D I'm aware this chapter is really really short and practically inexistent but it'll be worth it (I hope).
> 
> I hope you're having a good week, thank you for keeping up with the story and I love reading your guys' comments, don't be shy, let's talk! <333


	48. Chapter 48

FRIDAY 

Friday morning and Steve is arriving at the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop, Friday morning and he hasn’t heard anything from Bucky since Wednesday night, Friday morning and the last thing he got from him was a text message, Friday morning and Steve feels ridiculous.

 **Bucky:** Tonight’s show was great, I’m beat. We play at Pittsburg tomorrow. Goodnight.

 **Steve:** I’m glad to hear you guys are doing well, take a good rest and be safe, good night.

And that was it.

Right now, Steve is trying to keep calm and not let his frustration eat his insides, he worries too much, it almost cost him an asthma attack, he knows that Bucky must have his reasons why he didn’t texted or called on Thursday, Bucky is fine.

_But what if he isn’t?_

The thing that bothers him the most is that he keeps staring at the screen of his phone, reading the last message he got from him, and it makes him sick to think that if these are the last words that Bucky heard from him, no wonder why he’s been worried lately, the words are cold, distant, even meaningless.

Steve wants to tell him how he really feels, how much he misses him and that he wants him by his side, not just dating, he wants to have a serious relationship with him and everything, _but what if that never happens?_

“You’re just being dramatic, Rogers”, he huffs as he turns on the heating system of the shop.

The blond is about to go to the back of the place but he stops in the middle of the little hall, looking back over his shoulder to the counter, _to the computer on the counter to be exact_ , he thinks back to the pictures that Darcy showed him a few days ago, and what his friends said about the other updates they’ve been doing on the band’s Facebook page. The guys aren’t going to be in the shop until one hour from now; he has the computer all to himself.

_Fuck it._

_I’ll take a quick look, just to see if he’s fine._

He sits down on the chair and turns on the computer, crossing his fingers and hoping that Darcy left her Facebook logged in or at least the Facebook page of the shop. He waits for the computer to hum back to life, drumming his fingers on the table, wiggling his leg against the hardwood floor impatiently.

When he finally opens the web browser, the homepage is the shop’s webpage, Steve shakes his head when the first thing he sees is one of the promo pictures that Peter took of him all those weeks ago. As soon as he types on the address bar, he sighs in relief when the page loads, the Facebook Page of the shop is logged in. They have a lot of new notifications, _like a lot_ , but he ignores them and just goes straight to the Howling Commandos’ page, they’ve uploaded a lot of pictures but mostly from the shows, they all look great, big crowds, the merch table, group photos, tagged photos and more. The last updates on the page are from the night before, the show in Pittsburg, and one specific update that said that after their van got a flat tire on the middle of nowhere, they got to Pittsburg safe and right on time for their show.

“That’s why!” Steve chuckles to himself.

He browses a bit more on their page, a few old photos of past shows, along with flyers, their Bandcamp and so on, that until he goes to where he really wants: Bucky’s profile. He doesn’t bother to look at the last status of his timeline; he just clicks the photos’ album right away. And there they are, the tagged photos that he doesn’t want to see.

“Why do you like to torture yourself this way?” he asks himself.

He sees the picture that Darcy showed him, the one where Bucky and Namor are outside the pool, he looks down at the desk and stares at the white keyboard, _maybe I should stop_ , he stares back up at the computer screen and sighs, _you’re here already, just go on with it._

Steve grabs the computer mouse again and clicks for the next picture, he smiles a little when he sees the photo, he feels sad, he isn’t going to lie to himself but it’s a cute picture overall: Bucky is being lifted by two people, his grin warm and wide, Namor is holding Bucky’s upper body, the guy has a funny frown on his face, and Becky, _Bucky’s sister_ , is holding Bucky’s lower body, she’s smiling too.

With the next picture, Steve’s mood gets worst, it’s a picture taken at yesterday’s show, Gabe is the one that uploaded it and tagged Bucky and Namor in it, the background shows the small stage with a few instruments and some guys moving things around like they just finished playing. That’s okay, that’s perfectly fine, what upsets him is something else, Bucky has no shirt on but the shoulder brace is in place, the brunet is riding Namor’s back, his hands resting on the man’s shoulders and his legs wrapped around his waist, Namor’s hands hooked under Bucky’s knees.

Steve takes a deep breath and exhales loudly though his nose, _they’re friends, they’re just friends, just change to the next picture._

The few next photos are okay, with a few other people, smiling and having fun, nothing that makes Steve feel jealous or bad, he even smiles a little, they’re hanging around on different pictures, eating food and stuff, that until he spots another photograph that makes his heart hurt.

“Oh man, are you fucking serious right now?!” Steve exclaims throwing his hands into the air.

This picture was uploaded a few hours ago, Bucky is sitting on the back seat of the van, Namor next to him with his head tilted backwards exposing his Adam’s Apple, the man’s nape resting on top of the backrest of the seat. Bucky is spread on the seat next to him, a stubble on his face contrasting with his gentle expression, his legs bend with his knees against his chest, and his head resting on Namor’s lap, the guy’s left hand is on Bucky’s shoulder and the left one on the brunet’s _soft, long and shiny_ hair.

Steve shuts down the computer abruptly and stands up to go back to work.

***

“Where are we?” Bucky asks stretching his arms over his head.

“We’re fifteen minutes away from the hotel”, Gabe informs from behind the wheel.

“Finally!” Bucky exclaims.

“I need to take a hot bath after these six boring hours”, Namor announces.

They arriving at the DoubleTree by Hilton shortly after, _like are you shitting me?_ Bucky hasn’t complained at all these past few days about the cities or the venues they’ve played, in the end, he wasn’t the one that booked this tour or contacted the promoters, but if he had a saying in any of this, he wouldn’t have arranged this precise date.

The day before was alright, besides from the flat tire they got on the road, he couldn’t believe that any of the other nine people he was with didn’t know how to properly change a tire, after almost 3 hours trying, he was the one that managed to change it and they got back on the road.

He felt a little desperate because all of his friends and himself were having problems with their phone signal the moment they crossed the Pennsylvania state frontier, after their incident with the tire they barely made it to the show in Pittsburg, because instead of being a 4 hour drive it ended up being almost 7 excruciating hours.

After that, they just went to the hotel to sleep because they had to wake up early the next day, they had a 6 hours drive ahead of them from Pittsburg to Syracuse, and that brings us to where they are now.

_It’s been more than a day that I haven’t talked to Steve._

Again, Bucky is well aware that this city is a bit pretentious with all the college kids and business people going up and down, at the moment they’re driving around looking for the Hilton where they’re staying at, they pass a few museums on their way there and he begins to day dream looking outside the window and sighing to himself.

_Steve would like those. I wanna bring him up here some day._

_I wonder what he’s doing._

_I miss Steve so much._  

“You okay there?” Monty asks looking back at Bucky from the middle seat.

“Yeah, everything’s fine”, he nods.

“He misses his boyfriendddddd”, Dum Dum teases.

“I’m not even gonna say that’s not true”, Bucky chuckles. _Although he’s not my boyfriend exactly_.

When they finally check into the hotel and get to each of their rooms, Bucky is thinking about taking a nap but he slept all the way there, instead, he changes into his swim trunks and heads downstairs to the pool all by himself, thankfully it has a heater on the water, _so I won’t have to freeze my ass._

He goes over to the bar and orders a beer, the brunet sits down on the chairs around the table to think about what he wants to say to Steve staring down at his phone, he really hopes that Steve isn’t upset or mad that he didn’t call him at all the day before, Bucky shakes his head to himself before he waits for Steve to answer. _This is Steve, he’s obviously not mad._

“Hello”, Steve answers after a few rings, his voice sounds almost like a whisper and Bucky has to increase the volume from his phone to hear him properly.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t call or text yesterday”, Bucky answers.

“It’s okay, Buck, you don’t have to tell me everything you do”, Steve says, and for some reason Bucky feels hurt, it’s just a stupid comment and he knows that Steve doesn’t mean to upset him, but he does.

“Yeah, I know, but I wanted to tell you”, Bucky sighs before he continues, “the thing is that we got a flat tire, then we couldn’t get any signal on our phones the whole day, later on my phone died, and then we dro…” he explains but doesn’t get to finish before Steve speaks again.

“I get it, Bucky, don’t worry about it, I know these things happen, what’s important is that you’re fine”, Steve insists.

“Okay”, Bucky’s voice sounds small, “hey, there’s a lot of museums up here, Namor said we could come here sometime, free of charge”, he adds cheerfully.

“That’s great, Bucky”, Steve whispers again.

“Yeah, we’re at the hotel now, I’m about to go into the pool”, the brunet comments, “seriously, I don’t know how this tour would’ve been if it wasn’t for Namor, these hotels are expensive as shit”, Bucky chuckles.

“I can imagine, I’m happy that it’s turning out so well for you guys”, the blond says.

“Yeah, me too, we’ve met a lot of fans and made a bunch of friends, even Namor liked us, and he doesn’t like lot of stuff”, Bucky laughs.

Steve breaths loudly a few times after that but he doesn’t say anything right away, but Bucky can hear him mumble on the other side of the phone, he doesn’t catch exactly what, “did you say something?” he asks.

“Oh no, nothing important, it’s just that…” Steve says, Bucky can’t hear what he says at the end because Namor is now entering the pool area making faces as he walks towards him.

“There you are”, his friend says.

“Dude, can’t you see I’m on the phone here?” Bucky points at the device against his ear.

“You will be with him in a few days, I’m here right now, come race with me”, Namor nods towards the pool.

“You now that’s not fair, Subby”, Bucky chuckles covering the speaker of the phone.

“Well, if you continue being nice, I might let you win”, Namor smirks.

“Okay, just give me a moment”, Bucky says.

“You have one minute”, the other man demands before he dives into the pool splashing Bucky with water.

“Watch it, asshole, my phone! You’re going to buy me a new one if you fucked it up!” He whines.

“I’ll buy you ten”, Namor yells before he swims away.

Bucky towels himself a little, trying to dry the few water drops that fell on his phone, and luckily the thing is still working, “Steve?” He asks.

“Yes, I’m here”, he answers plainly.

“Sorry about that, Namor is quite something”, he laughs, “he wants to race me in the pool, I don’t stand a chance”, he adds.

“Yeah? Why is that?” Steve wonders.

“I tell you, he was practically born under water, he’s probably a fish, sometimes I think he’s not even from this world”, the brunet says, “he’s a good man when he wants to be, I think the both of you would get along perfect”, Bucky comments.

Steve clears his throat before he speaks again, “yeah, I bet”, he says. Bucky can almost see the frown on Steve’s face, it sounds like a sarcastic statement but Bucky doesn’t know why, it isn’t like something that Steve would say.

“Yeah, and you should see his body, he’s not even real, with those pointy ears and plucked eyebrows, so perfect, he’s like an alien”, Bucky chuckles, “well, Steve, I gotta get going before this guy comes and throws me into the pool himself”, laughs some more.

“Okay, Bucky, have fun”, Steve whispers again.

_What’s with all this small voices, what is he doing?_

“I will”, he sighs, “Steve, I…” he brunet looks down at his hands.

  _Just say it, Bucky, just say you miss him, just say you wish he was here._

“Yeah?” The blond asks.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He says instead. _Coward._

“Sure, Buck”, Steve answers before he hangs up.

***

It’s already seven o’clock, a few hours after Bucky called him, he sounded so happy and excited and Steve just got gloomier and sadder as he talked but at least Bucky didn’t notice or if he did, he didn’t ask what was wrong, Steve is grateful for it.

_How was I supposed to explain to him that I’m jealous when I have no right to be?_

He’s closing the shop late again, Steve doesn’t need any free time anyway, besides, he’s planning to stop at the Red Room again. The session he had yesterday let him exhausted but more relaxed after the long day at the shop, and today he hopes it’s the same. One of the guys at the place informed him that they’re having a little inside tournament today, he wasn’t planning to compete, but after his slow day today he might take that invitation.

“You’re not closing late again, are you?” Darcy asks hanging her messenger bag over her shoulder.

“I was planning to, why?” He asks.

“I’m going out with Loki tonight, I think the others are going too, do you wanna come with us?” She offers with a wide smile.

“I’m going to the Red Room tonight, thanks though”, he nods.

“Steve, I never thought I’d said this to you but…” Darcy walks slowly towards him, “you look like shit, buddy”, she places a gentle hand on his shoulder, his friend sounds worried.

“I’m fine Darcy, really”, he says.

“You look so exhausted, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t eat today at all, are you sure you’re okay?” She asks.

“Listen, I’ll close now if that makes you feel better, yes?” the blond offers.

“Please!” she demands.

“Okay, okay”, he soothes.

_An extra hour of working out, great._

And with that, he clears his working station quickly while she waits leaning against the doorframe, as soon as that is done, he goes to the back to make sure that everything is turned off and the everything’s in place, Darcy waiting for him while he does that.

 They both walk to the front door, and Loki is waiting for her right there, “everything all right?” He asks.

“Darcy, you shouldn’t have made him stay, I could’ve closed by myself”, Steve says.

“What if you said that just to make me feel better but you didn’t close right away?” she quirks an eyebrow at him, “besides, he doesn’t mind, right, sweetie pie?” Darcy bats her dark eyelashes at her boyfriend who rolls his eyes at the pet name.

“Of course not”, Loki shakes his head.

“Okay, everything is back is in place, I’ll just turn off the lights and close, you can go now”, Steve smiles.

“I’m not going anywhere until I see you’re ass on that motorcycle”, Darcy yells pointing towards his bike parked close to them.

“Fine”, he shows his palms in surrender.

When he’s finally sitting on his bike putting his helmet on after he locked the door of the shop, with Darcy and Loki on his back at all times, they say goodbye and drives away, heading to the Red Room.

Natasha isn’t there again, today is her last day at the seminar, Steve doesn’t know if the guys at the gym already mention her that he started working out again this week, he supposes they didn’t because she probably would have said something already.

He’s at the lockers room pulling out his workout clothes, he starts changing and looks down at his almost completely healed chest, the bruises he has are in the last stages of coloring, luckily there aren’t any broken ribs as he thought at the beginning. Steve changes quickly and takes a once over of himself in the mirror next to the door before he walks out.

The blond frowns at his reflection because he does look _like shit_ , his eyes are hooded a little, black circles under them, his lips feel dry and his skin is impossibly whiter, almost sheet paper white. He knows he really needs to rest and eat a proper meal, but tomorrow will be a new day, he can rest tomorrow, _right?_ He just takes a big gulp of his water bottle and puts on his earphones to go and start his three hours workout.

***

The show is already going, the place looks full, but it’s a small bar anyway. The local people are nice and kind, somewhat different of what Bucky imagined, everybody’s been really nice to them, it’s surreal.

A few girls approach him to make some small talk, flirting with him, and as the jackass that he is, Bucky flirts back. _Poor girls_. He chats with a lot of people, exchanges his EP with the other bands there, shakes lots of hands and kisses a few cheeks. It ‘s nice, sure, but his mind is somewhere else. Miles and miles away from here.

_What is Steve doing?_

Bucky pulls out his phone and stares at the screen before he sends the message, for some he’s hesitating on sending it, the words don’t feel right but goes with it anyway.

 **Bucky:** Hey handsome, I miss you.

He locks the screen quickly and puts away his phone and pretends to laugh at the conversation he’s supposed to be in, even though he has no idea of what these people are talking about.

“Care to join me?” Namor hands him a bottle of beer and points at a table a few meters away from them.

“Sure”, he shrugs one shoulder before he follows the man.

They sit down in silence for a few minutes, munching on the nachos that Namor ordered, “talk to me about him”, Namor says breaking the silence.

“What?” Bucky asks as soon as he swallows the gulp of beer on his mouth.

“Your man, that’s what’s eating at you, isn’t it?” Namor lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, it’s just… I miss him, you know?” Bucky sighs softly, “I feel stupid because I’ve lived a lifetime without him and now I don’t want to pass another day without hearing from him”, Bucky looks down at the table, his fingers playing with the paper label on the beer bottle.

“In love Bucky or not in love Bucky, you will always be stupid, kid”, Namor laughs patting Bucky’s shoulder.

“HA-HA! Really funny”, Bucky says sarcastically.

“Seriously, I do not know this man of yours, talk to me about him, it helps”, Namor insists.

“Ok, well, he’s a tattoo artist, he went to art school, he was raised by his mother, she passed away a few years back, so it’s just him and his dog”, he explains.

“I see, that’s what got you, right? You’ve always been a sucker for pets”, Namor smirks.

“Captain is so cute, I’m not going to lie, but Steve he’s just…” Bucky sighs loudly, “I don’t deserve that man, Namor”, he chuckles bitterly.

“That good?” he asks before he takes a sip from his beer.

“You have no idea, he’s…he’s incredible”, he nods, “Steve’s kind and thoughtful, he’s so naïve for some things, like he has no clue that nobody is that good, and sometimes I think he’s kidding, but he’s not”, the brunet shakes his head, “he still manages to surprise me”, Bucky laughs.

“Have you had sexual relations with him?” Namor asks opening a new beer bottle.

“Well, I uh… we uh”, Bucky mumbles.

“James Buchanan Barnes, are you serious? You’re telling me you have feelings for this man and you haven’t been intimate with him? Is he ugly?” Namor frowns his eyebrows.

“You’re such a moron, you know?” Bucky huffs, “I don’t care about that, he’s not ugly though, on the contrary”, he smiles wide, “we did have sex once, well kinda did, but after that I screwed up and that’s why we’re taking it slow now”, he explains.

Bucky tells Namor about everything, of how they met, how Steve became one of his best friends before he realized he had real feelings for him and not just the strong physical attraction between them, about Brock and thinking that Steve was anything like him, Bucky still flinches at that, it’s something that he will never be able to forgive himself for.

They’re now waiting for their turn to play, there’s at least one local band left. Bucky pulls out his phone and he has no answer from Steve yet, he isn’t preoccupied or anything, because Namor is right, talking about him does help a little, but he still wants to hear from him.

“Now I’m curious, do you have any pictures of this man of yours?” Namor wonders.

“I don’t have any on my phone at the moment, I cleared my memory before coming on tour”, Bucky shrugs.

“Facebook?” Namor says.

“He doesn’t have one”, Bucky shakes his head and Namor gives him a look in disbelief, “I know”, Bucky giggles.

“Oh wait, I know where you can see him”, Bucky says.

 _The Red Room website, and the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop has some photos too_.

He unlocks his phone and browses through the web to find the pages he’s looking for, “here, in one tab is the Red Room’s webpage and the other is his tattoo shop’s webpage, there are some pictures of him there”, Bucky explains.

“Okay, let me see”, Namor demands.

“And I have some on my Instagram”, Bucky remembers.

“Stalker much?” Namor chuckles.

“Shut up!” the brunet laughs.

***

After Steve runs the 30 minutes he normally does, he feels like he’s been walking, he’s drenched with sweat but not tired at all. He decides do to faster exercises in less time like he did the day of the photo-shoot, but with more weight, double the repetitions and more sets in less if he can manage to do it, _so let’s begin._

The first station was design to challenge his upper body strength and also muscle endurance. _Thank you, Natasha_. Push-ups, jumping jacks and bench dips. For some reason, while he’s doing the second repetition, his mind drifts to Bucky; it was weeks and weeks ago that Bucky had see him doing his routine, and Steve managed to concentrate successfully back then, but right now, the only thing that echoes on the back of his mind are Bucky’s words.

Steve tried to say he misses him when they talked on the phone, he really did, but Bucky wasn’t even listening, because Namor was with him, of course.

_Just forget about it._

_Next station._

He moves fast and works hard, full body circuit, _perfect_ , this is meant to increase his body's capacity to perform under extreme levels of exertion, _exactly what I need_. Burpees, burpees with a bag, burpees with weights.

 _You will be with him in a few days; I’m here right now_.

Those were Namor’s words.

_Next station._

His chest rising and falling with his respiration, air coming in and out fast as he begins the anaerobic work, this is a high-intensity circuit, he’s not supposed to do so many repetitions on this one for his asthma, _but who cares anyway?_ High knees, jumping jacks, mountain climbers, plank jacks, split lunges.

_Namor liked us, and he doesn’t like lots of stuff._

_Of course he did!_

Steve is now breathing faster, his chest hurts a little but that’s normal, it’s something that happens from time to time when he puts extra effort on his exercises, nothing to worry about.

More endurance workout, with full body weight resistance, aerobic and anaerobic. _Let’s make this interesting_. Steve grabs a 45 lbs. weight disk; the heaviest that Natasha has and continues to do his set. Squat, squat with overhead press, triceps, shoulder, bicep, push-outs, bent over. When Steve finishes, he stands up straight again, making the muscles on his back pop back into place, he feels a little dizzy, _I straighten myself too fast_.

“Steve, are you okay?” A guy working with the kettlebells asks.

“Yes”, Steve answers plainly with a nod.

_If you continue being nice, I might let you win._

_Bucky’s always nice, always!_

Final station, _already?_ The core workout, and all aspects of conditioning. Med balls, tire sledge, power-wheel, and band pulls. Steve is feeling tired now, he’s breathing uneven, but he continues on anyway, he needs to.

_Namor is quite something._

Steve finishes with the station and goes back to the treadmills, more like stumbles back, he was planning to go over the machinery area to do some powerlifting and lie down on the bench-press, but he remembers the fighting competition they’re having today, lifting weight always wears him out, he doesn’t want to be completely tired when his turn is up, but some more running will do no harm.

He sets up a fast pace, his breathing doesn’t calm down but he keeps running, he’s really tired, sweat drops running down his temples and his spine, he moves rapidly, his body bouncing up and down with every step he takes and his chest feels even tighter. Steve tries to get lost in the music coming from his earphones but he just can’t concentrate.

_You should see his body._

_He’s not even real, with those pointy ears and plucked eyebrows._

_So perfect._

Steve’s feels a lot of pressure on the muscles of his chest, he’s starting to sense the contractions on his neck, he manages to slow down the speed on the treadmill but he still doesn’t stop, he’s now breathing loudly through his mouth but he feels like shocking, because there is no air is getting into his lungs.

“Steve, are you going to enter the competition tonight?” T’Challa comes to ask Steve. The blond pulls off the earphone’s cord and tries to answer, he really does, but all that come out is a whimper.

_Shit, shit, shit._

“Are you alright?” The man asks. T’Challa must have noticed something is wrong because he stops the treadmill right away and takes a hold of Steve’s shoulder, helping him to step out into the floor, Steve is wheezing and choking.

“Hey, calm down, try to breathe”, the man says, “are you with me, Steve?” T’Challa asks, “look for the inhaler on his bag, or the EpiPen, quick!” The man yells to someone.

Steve tries to talk again but instead he starts coughing really loud, his throat is dry and his abdomen hurts, he bends over and places a hand over his tight chest, his sweat cold and eyebrows knit together. He moves trying to stand up straight but that doesn’t help at all, his knees feel weak and his body is trembling all over.

“Call an ambulance!” T’Challa demands.

That’s the last thing Steve hears before all of his surroundings become pitch black.

***

“You are telling me this man is your Steve?” Namor asks pointing at his phone screen.

“Well, yes”, Bucky nods, his cheeks blushed a little.

“Wow, you’ve moved up in the world, you weren’t lying, he is quite attractive”, Namor smirks.

“He’s mine, don’t even think about it”, Bucky points his index finger at Namor.

“Oh no, he’s lacking in some areas”, Namor lifts an eyebrow at him.

“He’s not lacking, believe me!” Bucky wiggles his eyebrows, a huge grin spread across his face.

“Hey tosser, we’re almost up!” Monty yells.

“Namor, he’s talking to you”, Bucky jokes and Dum Dum laughs.

“Tosser?” Namor wonders.

“I thought you had a special fondness for British people”, Bucky comments.

“It means wanker or jerk-off, whichever you prefer”, Monty explains with his tick British accent.

“Namor!” A guy shouts behind Monty.

_No way!_

“Toro?” Bucky asks.

“Surprise!” the man extends his arms wide smiling at him.

“You didn’t tell him?” Another guy comes to stand next to them.

“No, pappy, we didn’t”, Toro shakes his head at the man, placing a hand on the guy’s cheek.

“I can’t believe you call him that in public”, Namor laughs.

“Public? It’s just you, idiots”, Toro chuckles.

“Shit, you guys are still together?” Bucky asks.

Thomas “Toro” Raymond and Jim Hammond, high school sweethearts, _or at least that what they called themselves_. Jim was a jock back in the day, track and field team, Namor and him were good friends because they had sports in common, Namor found out that the man was gay and he introduced him to Bucky to see if they could hit it off, “just because he’s gay doesn’t mean I’m going to like him, asshole”, that’s what Bucky said. And no, it didn’t work out but they became good friends; a few months after that, Jim met Toro, a cute guy a couple of years younger than them and they started going out.

“What do you say you go and play, and we talk later at our place, we’re planning on throwing a little after party”, Jim offers.

“Your place?” Bucky smirks and Toro smiles wide nodding his head, pointing with his right index finger to the ring finger of his left hand where in fact, there’s a ring, a shiny gold wedding band.

“Oh fuck, yes, I need to hear about this”, Bucky says before he walks away after Monty.

The Howling Commandos put their stuff into place, Bucky doesn’t have any problems with the amplifiers or anything, his guitar has brand new strings, the pedals are in place, he’s always careful with his stuff. He checks that his band-mates have everything under control in case any of them need help, everything is fine and off they went.

Their set is fast, the same set-list they’ve been playing on the other tour dates, it’s less than half an hour and the people always act really well to it, jumping, crowd surfing, moshing and even singing along with Bucky. Tonight’s show isn’t sold out but still a lot of people came, it’s a Friday night after all. 

As soon as the Howling Commandos finish playing, they join their friends on the mosh-pit to cheer for the Thunderbolts, who are about to begin. They move along with the people, sweat, energy and cheers.

When it’s time for them to leave the place, they pack their instruments back in the van, Jim gives them the address of their house, his husband and him head out earlier to stop and buy some snacks on their way back home.

The place is big but modest, a cute house, good neighborhood and all. They scatter back in the patio and Bucky can’t help but smile, his old friends are here, some of his new friends are here, but Bucky’s heart is miles away. Bucky pulls out his phone and sighs when he sees the screen; it’s hours later after he sent Steve that message, but still, no answer.

“Don’t blame him, he’s in love”, Namor laughs.

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Toro asks smiling from where he’s sitting on Jim’s lap, who’s on a patio chair.

“Steve Rogers”, Namor mocks Bucky’s voice with an exaggerated sigh.

_I don’t sound anything like that._

“Hey, isn’t that the guy…?” Toro says turning to see his husband’s face.

“Yeah, he did this a few months ago when I went to visit my parents down in Brooklyn”, Jim informs as he reveals the gorgeous and colorful tattoo of a Phoenix carefully placed on his forearm, “he’s a nice guy”, the man adds.

“Now I want to meet this man”, Namor comments.

“No, never!” Bucky shakes his head.

“I’m not interested in men, Bucky, not like that at least”, is friend smirks.

“I know, but you’re just evil, let’s just change the subject”, Bucky pleads.

“So, we’re married”, Jim smiles wide.

“How did that happen?”, he wonders, “I’m not gonna lie, I thought you weren’t going to last”, Bucky laughs.

“We didn’t, he dumped me”, Toro frowns his lips.

“It wasn’t like that!” Jim whines, “I joined the army, I was sent overseas, I didn’t want him to be all sad and alone while I was over there being shot at”, Jim explains.

“And what happened?” Bucky wonders curiously.

“I wasn’t alone actually, I dated, I had one serious girlfriend, Ann, lovely girl, but it just didn’t work out”, Toro says sadly.

“Well no, she wasn’t me”, Jim jokes and Toro smacks his shoulder.

“Anyway, we never lost contact, I wrote to him and he wrote back every time, I sent him care packages and stuff”, Toro says passing his fingers through his husband’s blond hair.

_Kill me, they’re so cute._

“Yeah, I was discharged after my third tour and when I came back he was waiting for me, the moment I saw him I just knew I didn’t want to spend any other day in my life without him”, Jim smiles wide and Toro blushes a little.

“So he proposed and here we are, a year later”, Toro nods.

“Aww guys, I’m so happy for you”, Bucky smiles wide.

“Shit, you’ve turn into a sap”, Jim laughs.

“What happened to you, Bucky? After high school I mean, we tried to reach you”, Toro says. 

“I kinda went M.I.A., didn’t I?” Bucky says, “well, where do I begin?” he asks.

“Wait, I’m going to the kitchen to get us more beers”, Toro stands up abruptly.

“I’ll help you”, Namor joins him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all...
> 
> I'M SORRY, I'M SO SORRY!!!
> 
> If you want to punch me I won't complain, I do deserve it this time, I won't stop loving you <3
> 
> And second.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your comments and kuddos, I'll be around to answer your questions and all. And since you've been keeping up with my evilness, there will be new chapters during the weekend too. Everything will be alright soon, I promise, I'll make it up to you guys c:
> 
> Have a lovely weekend and be safe :D


	49. Chapter 49

SATURDAY

Steve is dreaming, a sweet, pleasant and beautiful dream: lazy gray-blue eyes with cute wrinkles on the corners, soft and thin lips, warm and playful smile, strong chiseled jaw. That until he has to open his eyes, _damn it_ , he begins to hear footsteps coming and going and a soft sound of people shifting around.

He opens one eye with curiosity, taking a peek of his surroundings, and it hits him like a sack of heavy bricks right in the gut, _hospital_. He’s been in a hospital bed several times in the past, and it’s something he really hoped it didn’t have to happen again. He tries to calm himself, he notices the man sitting next to his bed and closes his eyes again.

“On your left”, Steve whispers.

“Hey”, Sam smiles warmly closing the book he was reading.

“How long have I been here? What happened?” He wonders.

“It’s Saturday morning, almost noon, you don’t remember anything?” Sam wonders.

_Saturday morning._

_Right, asthma attack._

“Saturday morning?” He panics.

“Dude, calm down, you’re fine, you just needed to rest”, Sam places his hands on Steve’s shoulders pushing back, trying to make him lay down on the bed again.

“I have to go, Captain and my bike, and…” Steve shakes his head rapidly.

“Chill man, we took care of it”, Sam assures.

“Who’s we?” Steve asks.

“Us is we”, Natasha comes walking through the door with Clint by her side, “I drove your bike back to your house last night and met Clint there, he was already inside spoiling your dog”, she smirks.

“Hey stupid, you scared us”, Clint says sitting on the edge of the bed by Steve’s feet.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have bothered, you can go, I can handle this”, Steve nods.

“Like you handled it last night? I don’t think so”, the girl shakes her head, “we’re going back to your place with you to make sure you take a good rest as you’re supposed to”, Natasha demands.

“I’m sure you’ve done enough already”, he says looking down at his hands that are fiddling with the hem of the blanket.

“You’re not getting rid of us, I already told Sharon to meet us there”, Sam smirks.

“So what happened?” Steve wonders again.

“Induced asthma attack, that is what happened”, a man leaning against the doorframe says casually.

“Hey”, Steve says, “guys, this is…” he sighs softly.

“My name is Stephen Strange”, the man introduces himself offering his hand to Steve’s friends.

“Holy shit, is that your actual name?” Clint asks with wide eyes.

“Clint!” Natasha exclaims between her teeth.

“I’m just asking, it’s pretty awesome”, he shrugs his shoulder offering an apologetic smile.

“You’re not Steve’s doctor”, Sam frowns his eyebrows.

Stephen Strange is a man on his early 40’s, tall and thin but toned, short black hair and a goatee to go with it, a few white hairs already growing on the sides of his head.

“No, you’ll see, twelve years ago there was a free spot in this hospital when I finished my residency on the New York City Hospital, and this kid was always around back in the day, with his mother or with some weird disease”, Dr. Strange explains nodding his head at Steve with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I wasn’t a kid, I was fifteen”, Steve says.

“You looked like a ten year old if you ask me”, the man smirks, “I heard you got in last night and I came to check up on you”, the man comments.

“No, I didn’t”, Steve says shaking his head, ignoring the last comment.

“Man, we all know you did”, Sam laughs, the other people in the room join him.

“Steve, I talked to your doctor last night, we took the liberty of doing some x-rays on the bruises on your chest, we checked your lungs and throat, everything is great, you’re going to be fine, but you need to rest, no more than an 8 hours shift at work and just light exercises for a while, understood?” Dr. Strange says.

“I’m glad you’re telling him this, because he won’t listen to me”, Natasha narrows her eyes at Steve, her hands carefully placed on her waist.

***

“How did we end up back at the hotel?” Bucky whispers behind his sunglasses.

“What was that?” Gabe asks from the co-pilot seat.

“Dude, I’m right here, there’s no need to yell”, Bucky whines.

“He’s not yelling, you handle your alcohol pretty badly”, Namor turns his head to face Bucky, the brunet is sitting at the back of the van and Namor on the middle seat.

“Why do you make me drink so much? I hate you!” Bucky grunts.

“Nobody makes you do anything, you’re welcome by the way”, Monty says next to Namor.

“Aww Monty, always the designated driver”, Gabe jokes earning a smack on the back of the head from the man.

“Dum Dum, where are we? Are we there yet?” Bucky asks annoyed.

“We already passed Worcester, we’re like an hour away”, the man in the bowler hat explains.

“What time is it?” Monty questions.

“Past noon”, Gabe says.

“If I were you Bucky, I’d check my phone, I’m pretty sure you sent drunk texts to Steve”, Dum Dum laughs.

“Ugggh, I know”, Bucky pretends to cry, “but my phone died and I forgot to charge it back at the hotel”, he adds.

“Uuuh too bad, because I’m charging my phone right now, you’ll have to wait”, Dum Dum chuckles.

“I don’t like you”, Bucky frowns, the corner of his lips pulling downwards, then he lays down again on the back seat.

After the long almost five hours drive, they arrive to Boston safe and sound, “welcome to the motherland!” Dum Dum yells, causing Bucky to jump awake, “you know, I have lots of friends here that will give us a place to stay”, he informs.

“No offense, but I don’t plan on refusing a fancy hotel”, Monty laughs.

“Besides our rooms are already arranged”, Namor shrugs.

“You better not get used to it, man”, Gabe chuckles pointing at Monty.

“I just want a bed, please!” Bucky begs.

When they arrive at the hotel, “The AAA Four Diamond Hilton Boston Downtown/Faneuil Hall”, Namor says before Bucky sighs loudly feeling annoyed, “well, excuse me very fucking much”, Bucky responds to that. The group goes up into each of their rooms after they agree on going down to grab something to eat, but Bucky decides to stay behind and sleep his hangover away, he wants to be more relaxed by the time they have to play the show later on.

Boston has one of the most amazing hardcore/punk music scenes in the U.S.A., and Bucky has heard wonders, he really wants to leave a good impression in case they decide to book another tour near in the future, _besides it’s the last date after all_. As soon as the Howling Commandos leave the room to join the Thunderbolts in the lobby and go to eat, Bucky plugs his phone to its charger, he thinks for a minute about calling Steve but he has a massive headache and he doesn’t what to act like a whiny teenager, _so I’ll call him when I wake up._

After he comes back to life from the _long, peaceful and exquisite_ 90 minute nap, _much needed if you ask me_ , he does feel a lot better, stretching his arms over his head, making the muscles of his back pop back into place. Then, he finally grabs his phone from the little coffee table on the corner of the room and dials Steve’s phone, he waits impatiently and after a few rings, the blond doesn’t answer.

“You have reached Steve Rogers, leave a message, bye”, the voicemail says.

Bucky sighs and calls one more time, hoping that Steve would pick up this time, he doesn’t and the brunet calls again, he hears the voicemail a few more times, if it’s more than necessary it’s nobody’s business, _I just want to hear his voice_.

Just for a moment he takes a quick glance at the room, he’s all alone in a hotel room, _and I have necessities_ , he thinks about getting inside the bathroom and masturbating before taking a shower, just in case that anybody decides to come back soon, that until his phone starts to buzz in his hand.

“Uughh...” He grunts passing a hand over his face, “what’s up Dum Dum?” He answers the phone.

“Come down, we’re going earlier to the venue”, the man explains.

“But I need to shower”, Bucky whines.

“Don’t make me go up there and drag your ass here, besides, since when do you shower?” Dum Dum laughs.

“Aagghh, alright, I’ll be right there, just let me change”, he says. _There goes my chance_.

He undresses himself and pulls out some clean clothes from his duffle bag, after he gets dressed again, he grabs his wallet, phone and jacket before going out. Bucky walks on the hall that leads to the elevator, humming happily to himself.

***

“Guys, I already told you, you don’t have to stay here, I’ll be okay”, Steve insists.

“I wasn’t asking”, Natasha says before she snatches Steve’s house keys from the blond’s hand.

As soon as they get inside, Natasha walks straight to the kitchen, Sam is turning on the heating system and Clint lays down on the couch, “being useless” as Natasha normally says, with Captain by his side. Steve can only smile, his friends being comfortable in his house, they’re like family, _the only family a have now_ , and he couldn’t ask for a better group of people to be surrounded by, and also, _Bucky_ , of course.

_Shit, I hope they didn’t say anything to him._

“Hey, do you know where my phone is?” Steve asks to no one in particular.

“It’s in your gym bag, I left it in your room”, Natasha informs, pointing at the ceiling with spatula, “you go and shower, we’ll make some food”, she adds.

Steve turns on his heel and goes to do as told, the duffle bag is where Natasha said it was, he makes a B line straight to it and looks for his phone, it’s at the bottom of bag under all his clothes from the day before. He notices he has 5% left of battery when he presses the home button; he sits on the edge of the left side of the bed and plugs it to its charger.

He frowns as soon as he unlocks the screen, he has a lot of emails, nothing out of the ordinary, but there are also a lot unread messages and a few missed calls, all from Bucky.

 **Bucky:** Hey handsome, I miss you.

 **Bucky:** Syracuse it’s not that bad, we should drive here sometime.

 **Bucky:** I just found out that you tattooed an old friend of mine.

 **Bucky:** I’m drinking my weight in alcohol tonight, yay :p

 **Bucky:** Hloyu shir im drumkl

 **Bucky:** Ansaerrrr mweeeer

 **Bucky:** Steeeeeeeeebbv

 **Bucky:** I wqnrt yuop

Steve feels warm all over his body while he reads the first message over and over again, _because damn, I needed to hear that_ , and then he laughs at the rest of them, they’re funny to read, the blond just shakes his head chuckling to himself. He doesn’t bother looking the time of every text, he just checks the last one, 2:33 AM. He doesn’t have any new voicemails so he figures that Bucky didn’t left any, the time on the calls are from an hour ago. _Good, so he’s awake now, he probably is, since it’s 4 in the afternoon_. Steve puts his phone against his ear and waits for the brunet to answer.

“Hi”, Bucky says cheerfully.

“Hello, Buck, how are you?” Steve asks.

“I’m excited, we’re in Boston now”, the other man comments.

“You’re going to love it there”, Steve says, “hey, I just read your messages”, he says.

“Shit, I forgot about those, I don’t even know what I wrote, don’t pay attention to any of them”, Bucky laughs out loud.

“Any of them?” Steve wonders.

“Yeah, I was probably being stupid”, he chuckles some more.

_So he doesn’t miss me, I mean, why would he?_

_He’s busy._

_He has better things to think about._

“Where were you anyway? Since you didn’t answer right away, I don’t blame you though, I was drunk as fuck”, Bucky says.

“I uuh…” Steve starts to mumble, “I…”

_Don’t tell him._

_Don’t say anything._

_You don’t need to ruin his day with your pity party._

“I had a thing”, Steve answers quickly.

_Seriously?_

“A thing?” Bucky asks, obviously not believing Steve’s lie.

“Yeah, I… I had a thing so I was busy”, the blond says.

“Uum…okay, Steve, I’m gonna let you go back to your thing then”, Bucky says and Steve can almost see the frown on Bucky’s face.

“Wait, Bucky, I uuh…” Steve starts, “have a good time, at the show and all”, he continues.

“Yeah, I will, tonight’s the last one, I think we’re staying the night here, we’ll probably be back tomorrow late on the afternoon or something”, Bucky informs.

“Oh okay, I’ll see you later then, I guess”, Steve whispers.

“Bye, Steve”, Bucky says plainly before he hangs up.

_Now what?_

Steve puts his phone away and goes to grab some cleans clothes to take a quick bath, he doesn’t want to leave his friends downstairs doing all the work all by themselves. He steps into the cold shower and opens the water spray on the hottest setting to peel of the hospital smell from his body, and then turns it to cold to help his muscles feel more at ease, a couple of minutes later he settles for warm water to clean the shampoo and soap.

***

_A thing?_

_What the hell is that suppose to mean?_

_Why would he lie?_  
  
What was he doing that he had to lie about it?

Bucky is leaning against a wall and sighs running a hand through his hair before he lets his head fall backwards, then looks up at the ceiling fiddling with his lip piercing. _Tomorrow, I’ll see him tomorrow_. He stayed behind at the lobby to answer the call, his friends are already inside, Dum Dum said something about joining some old friends from his neighborhood.

“Oi, Bucky!” the redhead yells, Bucky walk towards Dum Dum, he’s standing around a table near the bar with a girl.

The woman looks really young, she’s a petite blonde girl, blue eyes and sparkly personally, Bucky can tell from the way her face lights up with the conversation they’re having.

“This is Bucky, he does vocals and second guitar”, Dum Dum places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “Bucky, this is Carol, she’s a local”, he introduces.

“Carol Danvers”, she extends her right arm offering a hand to him, Bucky is about to shake it when the girl grabs his left arm and moves his sleeve up a little, exposing the beginning of his tattoo, “oh my god, can I see it?” She opens her eyes wide.

“Don’t freak out, I told her, she’s a tattoo artist”, Dum Dum explains, and Bucky laughs at the forwardness of the girl.

“I wouldn’t say an artist though, not yet anyway”, Carol shrugs, “so, may I?” She asks softly this time, pointing at his arm.

“Sure, let me just…”, Bucky says unzipping his jacket and hoodie to take them off, “here”, he offers his arm out to her.

The girl grabs Bucky’s arm gently with her left hand and runs her cold fingers from the right through the length of his arm, “it’s amazing”, she whispers.

“Lots of hours of pain but it was completely worth it”, he nods.

“I can imagine”, the girl smiles letting go of his arm, “do you have any other tattoos?” she wonders.

“Noup, just this one”, he says putting his clothes back on.

“You live in the Brooklyn area, right? If you’re planning on getting some more ink, I know a guy, he’s amazing in what he does, like ‘holy shit, are you fucking fo’ real?’ amazing”, she laughs.

“Let me guess, his name is Steve Rogers?” Bucky smirks and crosses his arms over his chest, Dum Dum just laughing out loud by his side.

“How did you know? What did I miss?” The girl tilts her head to the side in confusion.

“They’re dating”, Dum Dum manages to say between laughs.

“Get the fuck out of here, are you kidding me?” She sounds genuinely surprised.

“Noup”, Bucky says popping the ‘p’ at the end, giving her a cheeky smile.

“Damn, lucky you”, she says and Bucky nods in agreement.

There’s loud noise coming from the door and the three of them turn to see what’s going on, it’s Gabe trying to carry a few of their things, all at the same time, “I’ll be right back”, Dum Dum sighs heavily.

“So, you know Steve”, Bucky says as soon as he’s left alone with the girl.

“Yeah, I met him when I was stupid and childish, I’m still childish, not that stupid”, Carol winks.

“How old are you?” Bucky asks curiously.

“I’m turning twenty-one in a few months”, she answers.

“Shit, that makes me feel old”, the brunet chuckles.

“Nah, you’re fine”, Carol waves a hand at him, “anyway, I met him on a tattoo convention here in Boston a few years back, I was still underage and I was trying to make some money to run away from home so I started learning how to tattoo and stuff”, she explains.

“I see”, Bucky says.

“Yeah, a creepy guy started to hit on me and Steve came to the rescue”, she laughs, “no, but seriously, meeting Steve is one of the best things that’s ever happen to me, he became the older brother I never had, sorta like a mentor”, Carol smiles, her expression calm and warm.

“How so?” he wonders.

“My father is a misogynist asshole that thinks I should stay at home, find a husband and devote myself to him and have no life for myself, fuck that”, she huffs, Bucky is beginning to see what Steve probably saw in her, she makes him think about Natasha.

“I wanted to run away and join the Air Force, I’ve always wanted to work for the NASA, I was going to when I turned 18, but I decided to wait to raise some money, I’m joining next year”, she beams proudly.

“That’s awesome”, Bucky smiles back.

“Yeah, Steve and I kept in touch, we exchange a few emails and messages almost everyday, he always kept me positive and supported me when no one else did”, she says, her eyes are a bit glassy now, and Bucky can hear how much Steve means to this girl, he wants to cry along with her.

“Hey, I’m sure you’ll do great, you have to promise me that you’ll send a post card from the moon when you get there”, Bucky demands placing a gentle hand on the girls’ shoulder, earning a few chuckles from her as she wipes away a tear from her cheek.

“I know why Steve likes you, you’re nice”, she says before she launches her arms at his neck embracing him into a hug, and he’s happy to return it.

***

“Food is ready”, Sharon informs placing the silverware on the table.

“Guys, you don’t…” Steve starts before Clint interrupts him.

“If you say we don’t have to do this one more time I’m going to break your nose”, the man says walking towards the table.

“You can’t”, Steve chuckles.

“I’ll help him, I’ll hold you down while he hits you”, Sam points a finger at him.

“Wow, such good friends”, Steve jokes with a sarcastic tone.

They sit down cramped around Steve’s dinner table, and he sighs softly to himself, wishing they would do this more often without involving his little incident from last night, he loves being around his friends and sharing a good time with them, but he also wishes Bucky would be here, he sighs again before he drinks a big sip from his lemonade and feels butterflies all over his stomach.

 _Bucky is coming back tomorrow, finally_.

He’s taking a big bite of his sandwich when he notices on the corner of his eye, to his left, that Natasha looks under the table for a second, Clint squeezes her hand and nods his head at her as he’s asking what’s going on, the redhead just shakes her head slowly like she means to say it’s nothing, the guy brings her hand to his mouth and places a peck on her knuckles, she smiles warmly in return, and Steve just smirks behind his sandwich.

They chat while they eat, how their past week went by so fast with work and appointments and deliveries, they clear the table and divide the cleaning duty, all of them but Steve, who’s now sitting bitter on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest like a kid that just got told no by his parents.

Sharon and Sam are washing and drying the dishes while Natasha bosses Clint around and demands him to pull out the trash, the man does it but complains every chance he gets, Sam just laughs at him. When they finish cleaning the kitchen leaving it squeaky clean like it was before, Sam puts a bag of popcorn on the microwave and Natasha walks over to choose a movie to watch.

“What are you doing next week?” Clint asks from where he’s sitting on the little loveseat couch.

“Next week?” Steve wonders.

“Next week is Thanksgiving, Steve”, Sharon informs as soon as she notices the confusion on Steve’s face.

“Really? I had no idea, I don’t even know what day it is”, he says sadly.

Thanksgiving was his mother’s favorite holiday, along with the 4th of July, which happens to be Steve’s birthday. He used to spend every single second of those days with his ma’, but since she died, he spends them with his friends, they will never let him be alone on those days specially, no matter how much Steve insist that he’s okay, they can always see past his tough boy façade, they just simply won’t take no for an answer, and he can’t be more thankful for it.

_I wonder what Bucky is doing on Thanksgiving._

“What’s it going to be, Steve?” Sam asks taking a seat between Steve and Sharon, placing an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders to make himself more comfortable.

“I don’t know”, he shrugs.

“I’m going to spend it with Clint and his family, Sam is going up to Harlem and Sharon is flying to Virginia”, Natasha informs, “you can spend it at the Odinson’s or with Loki and Darcy’s family, I don’t care what you do, you have many options, choose one”, she demands after she puts on the blue-ray in place and squeezes her way in next to Clint on the love-seat couch.

He sighs looking down at his hands that are resting on his lap, he’s sitting on the smaller part of the L-shaped couch, his ankles on the air with his legs spread along the couch and parted open, Captain sleeping happy between them. He has spend many holidays with the Wilson’s and the Barton’s but right now he just feels like sleeping through the whole week and avoid having to think about it.

“Or…” Natasha stares at the TV screen with the remote on her hand, “you can spend it with Bucky, he’s going to D.C.”, the redhead offers before she presses play.

Steve feels warm all over his body, he wants to say yes so badly, because just thinking about spending Thanksgiving with Bucky and his family makes him lightheaded, but that is something that he can’t decide, he’s not planning to intrude someone else’s plans, and if Bucky hasn’t said anything he must have his reasons.

He doesn’t say anything after that and just sinks his back further into the couch, settling to watch the movie that Natasha chose, _Pulp Fiction_. He smirks at Natasha’s choice, she always had a thing for Tarantino’s movies, _nobody can blame her though, they’re really good._

***

Bucky is tuning his guitar while he waits for Dum Dum to finish setting his drum set, they’re about to begin and he feels nervous but also really excited, there’s a lot of people here, sold out show on a Saturday night, three local bands played before them and they were great.

They haven’t even played yet and a lot of folks already told them to comeback soon, and that they were looking forward to their set, Bucky feels for the first time in his life that he is doing what he’s supposed to be doing, the only thing missing at the moment is Steve, but tomorrow will be another day.

He also misses Natasha, and even Sam and Clint too, and Darcy and Sharon, and everyone, he really does. He’s starting to count the hours until it’s time to see Steve and he can’t help to feel joyful, because he wants to hug him, and kiss him, and undress him, and…

“Bucky, are you ready?” Gabe asks him breaking Bucky’s line of thoughts.

The brunet responds by strumming the chords from his guitar loudly to bring the crowd’s attention up to the stage, everybody moves forward, a few of them cheering for them to begin, and so they do.

Again, their set is fast and angry, and it seems that’s exactly what these people are asking for because it’s insane the amount of energy you can feel in the room, _it’s crazy_ , people shouting and singing, jumping off the stage into the people in the front, hitting arms and heads, guys and girls spinning their way around the mosh-pit in the middle of the place, people crowd surfing to reach for Bucky’s microphone to sing along and he is more than happy to share it with them.

That’s the only word to describe the show; Bucky is exhausted when they finish, feeling blissful and content, people asking for pictures, t-shirts and their EP. After that, he goes to the bathroom to wash his face and puts back on his brace and shirt to go and watch the Thunderbolts’ set.

The tour officially comes to an end after that, they’re putting away their instruments back into their vans, some guys hanging around the place and he hears Luke talking to Namor about going to some party near the hotel. Bucky isn’t so excited about it since he’s been drinking more than usual the past few days, and since tomorrow he’s going to see Steve, he wants to be clean and presentable, although he knows he looks like a homeless at the moment, with his stubble and messy hair in a small ponytail.

As he’s walking back to the stage to check that they aren’t forgetting anything, his phone buzzes inside the pocket of his jeans, he smiles at the screen.

“Hello, Natalia”, he answers.

“Hey James, how are you?” She asks.

“I’m good, the show just finished, it was amazing”, Bucky smiles even though she can’t see him.

“Really? I’m glad, James”, she says.

Bucky is not there with her but he’s sure there’s something off in Natasha voice, she’s normally quiet and not too cheery but that’s the way she is, but they’ve known each other for a long time that he can tell when something is not right.

“I called you earlier”, he comments.

“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t answer, we were at Steve’s all day”, she says.

“At Steve’s?” He wonders.

_Weird, he didn’t say anything earlier._

“Yeah, he…” Natasha sighs and Bucky is beginning to worry, “James, have you been talking to him?” she asks, her voice is a little shaky now.

“Well, I uh…Yes, why?” He says. _Not as much as I would like._

“He didn’t tell you anything, did he?” she huffs.

“Anything about what?” the brunet wonders, “Nat, what’s wrong?” Bucky worries.

“He uh… he had an asthma attack yesterday at the Red Room, a bad one, he ended up in the hospital, he was released this morning”, she informs.

“What?” he whispers.

Bucky is almost positive that she’s crying, there isn’t any sound or sob but he can almost see it, which is a rare thing, he feels like he’s going to faint, the room is starting to spin and the air is thick and heavy around him, Bucky has to lean against the wall next to him because he knows his knees are going to give up any second if he doesn’t.

“James, he’s fine”, Natasha says, sounding more like herself, “he’s going to be fine, it’s just that this hasn’t happened in a long time and he scared us, you know? But I promise he’s okay”, she comments.

“I’m going back, right now”, he manages to say before he swallows the tears that are gathering in his throat.

“I said he’s fine, there’s no need to hurry, you’re coming back tomorrow anyway”, she soothes, her tone of voice calm and steady.

“No, I’m coming back home, I’ll see you in a few hours”, Bucky responds before he hangs up.

He takes a few deep breaths and rubs his eyes with the heel of his hands before he to makes his legs work again, he walks towards his band-mates and friends that are standing near the bar, all their things are already in their van.

“Hey man, we were looking for you”, Gabe says.

“Bucky, are you alright?” Monty adds, he must have notice that something is wrong.

“No, I have to go back to Brooklyn, right now”, he informs, “do you think I can catch a bus right now?” he asks turning his gaze to Carol.

“It’s past midnight, I don’t think so”, she answers shaking her head.

“What’s the matter?” Namor asks.

“Steve, he uh…”, he chokes shaking his head.

“It’s okay, we’ll leave”, Gabe places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“I can’t ask you that, you guys stay here and have fun, okay?” Bucky says.

“No, Gabe is right”, Monty adds.

“What about you?” Bucky turns to face Namor, “I’ll figure something out”, he shakes his head.

“Nonsense, I’ll catch a ride with them, right, Luke?” the man smirks.

“Absolutely”, the man nods smiling.

“Are you sure?” Bucky wonders.

“Go, your man needs you”, Luke demands.

“Okay, thank you, all of you”, Bucky whispers, “I can drive”, he says stretching his hand to Dum Dum, he’s the one that always keeps the keys for their van.

“No, you can’t, not like this, I got this, let’s go”, Dum Dum smiles swatting away Bucky’s hand before he turns around to start walking towards the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Our Stevie is just fine, and more cameos, yayyyy!
> 
> Thank you for not killing me :B
> 
> Sunday's chapter will be extra special because you guys deserve it, I hope I don't disappoint, in the meantime, let me know what you think about this one. As always, thanks again for your comments and encouraging words, you might think it's not much but they mean a lot to me <3
> 
> Enjoy the rest of your weekend :)


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is back!
> 
> Enjoy <3

SUNDAY

“Guys, seriously, thank you”, Bucky says looking down at the pavement, his hand holding the van’s door open. 

“Bucky, we all agreed on this, just let us know how he’s doing”, Dum Dum demands.

“Okay, take care”, Bucky closes the door and turns around to walk towards the door of his building.

He explained what happened to his friends on the way back to Brooklyn, _the short and less sad story_ , and after the three and a half hour drive from Boston, they arrive around five in the morning. Bucky thought about going straight to Steve’s house, but that wouldn’t do any good at the moment, he’s feeling really tired because he wasn’t able to rest at all in the van and he needs to shower, besides he knows it’s best to leave Steve to rest.

Bucky unlocks his door and moves straight to the bathroom, not bothering on checking his room or Natasha’s, he just pulls out his last pair of clean underwear from his duffle bag and gets into the shower, his limbs feeling numb and his head too heavy for his neck, he leans against the wall with his hands spread on the cold tile, his head tilted forward and the hot water running down his spine.

He stands there for what feels like an eternity, he towels his hair while he walks back to his room and dumps his bag on the floor next to a chair before he retrieves some clean sweats from a drawer, he puts his brace back on but he doesn’t bother with a shirt. He sits on the edge of the bed with his phone in his hands, he’s been re-reading the texts he exchanged with Steve for the past week and replaying in his mind the conversation they had over the phone, they make him feel sick and angry with himself, _and like a total asshole_.

He hasn’t cried because he felt embarrassed with his teammates around but he really wanted to. Bucky notices he didn’t ask Steve how he was doing, or what he was up to, or how he was feeling, _not even once_. The only thing that Bucky did was talk about himself, and the thing they had been doing, and his friends, especially Namor. He told Steve he missed him, just once, _on a stupid fucking text_ , and then he told Steve to forget about all the texts because he was drunk when he wrote them, but he didn’t mean that text too, but of course Steve didn’t know that.

_I’m such an idiot._

Bucky stands up to go into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of cold water before going back to bed and sleep a few hours. After his third glass of water, he walks to his room, his bare feet dragging along the cold floor and his head down.

“James?” He hears Natasha calling for him before he enters his room.

He walks towards her room and knocks softly but he doesn’t bother to wait for an answer, he just opens the door a little and peeks his head inside, his friend is still laying on her bed but she folds the blankets towards her inviting him to join her, the brunet walks slowly to the bed and she tucks him in. Bucky lays on his left side and places his right arm over Natasha’s torso, she’s happy to return the gesture and hugs him back, her right arm pillowing Bucky’s neck.

And then, he allows himself to cry. He cries, and cries, and cries, he weeps and sobs, shredding big and fat tears into Natasha’s hoodie, but she doesn’t say anything, she just brushes his hair with her fingers, rubbing gentle circles on his back and kissing the top of his head.

“He’s okay, don’t worry”, she whispers as soon as he calms himself a bit.

“This is all my fault”, he sniffs whipping away his tears.

“No, it’s not, how can you say that?” Natasha asks.

Bucky explains everything to her, how he didn’t even bother asking Steve about himself, how he had been so self-centered this past week, of course he had every reason to be excited and talk about it, but nothing can justify how egocentric and selfish he’s acted, and Steve was always there to hear everything Bucky had to say. Bucky knows that Steve missed him, he’s sure about it but the guy probably didn’t say anything because Bucky didn’t even allowed him to, the brunet doesn’t blame him, the blond has some insecurity issues and Bucky wasn’t helping at all either.

“James, this is not your fault, just talk to him, it’ll make you and him feel better”, Natasha says, “stay here, take a good rest, I’m going to make some breakfast”, she adds.

“Okay, can you wake me up in a few hours? I want to go see him”, Bucky says.

“Sure, now sleep”, she demands walking towards the door after kissing his temple.

***

Steve wakes up late for the first time in a long time, _nine a.m. is late, right?_ He went to bed early to take a good rest, _on doctor’s orders_ , and now he’s feeling a lot better than he expected, besides there’s no reason to feel bad.

_Bucky is coming back today._

He stands up and thinks about taking a shower but then he gets the idea that he should cook a meal for Bucky, _and maybe some pie_ , he has a lot of spare time anyway. Steve goes down into the kitchen and opens the fridge to see what he has and take notes on what he’s missing. He cooks a ham & cheese omelet for breakfast, along with some toast and orange juice; after he finishes eating and cleans the kitchen, he pulls out his ma’s battered recipes notebook from the top drawer in the faraway left corner and swipes through the pages to choose what to make.

He decides to make lasagna, _because why the hell not?_ He hasn’t cooked it in a long time and he always loved his mother’s recipe, he smiles to himself reading his ma’s scribbles, and takes a picture of the page before he puts the notebook back into place.

Steve’s not a great cook, his friends beg to differ, _I’m alright_ , in most occasions he just cooks for himself because he needs to, his mother taught him as soon as he was old enough to hold a pan straight. When he was young and sick they couldn’t afford to go to restaurants or to buy take outs that often, besides it’s healthier that way.

It became really helpful because she was always working her ass off to provide everything that Steve needed even if he begged her to take some time to rest, and after the tables turned and Steve was no longer the one that needed the help, he was happy to cook for her while she laid her fragile and sick body on the couch to watch Steve move around their kitchen, a soft smile always planted on her face.

Sometimes he just cooks or bakes for the calming and relaxing feeling that overwhelms his body while he blends ingredients, cuts vegetables or mixes the sauces, and this is one of those times, he needs to keep himself occupied while he waits for Bucky.

“Hey buddy, do you want to go with me to the grocery store?” He kneels next to Captain to pet him behind his ears while the dog wiggles his tail happily, “maybe I can buy something for you, would you like that?” Steve asks and the dog starts to lick the blond’s face making him giggle.

_He’s too smart for his own good._

And off they go, Steve puts on some sweats, a hoodie under his wool coat, boots, a thick scarf wrapped around his neck and gloves to go with it, after the asthma attack he had on Friday night he doesn’t want to risk it, and he walks to the store with Captain by his side.

He goes to the same grocery store that’s a few blocks away from his neighborhood, “I won’t be long, okay? Would you wait for me?” He asks Captain gently passing his hand through the soft fur at the top of his head.

Captain normally obeys and stays where Steve tells him to but he doesn’t want him wondering around because Steve can’t go running after him at the moment, he’s about to secure Captain’s leash outside of the store when he hears a familiar voice coming through the open doors of the place.

“Hi, Steve”, Miles says.

“Hey, Miles”, Steve smiles.

“Are you okay, I heard what happened to you”, the young man says.

“You did?” Steve wonders.

“Yeah, I was walking back to my house after I left Captain at your place and one of your friends stopped by, the blond funny guy, Clint I think, I told him you weren’t home and he said that you were at the hospital”, Miles frowns.

“Oh yeah, something about my asthma but I’m fine”, he assures.

“I’m glad… my mom sent me to buy milk”, Miles says lifting the gallon on his hand.

“I see, I need to buy some things too”, Steve comments.

“Go ahead, I’ll stay here with Cap, we can walk back together”, Miles offers.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you here”, he shakes his head.

“Just go”, Miles waves his hand in dismissal and Steve nods before he turns on his heel and walks towards the doors.

He glances through the halls quickly to grab what he needs to do the lasagna and the apple pie, but luckily he already has most of the ingredients. Steve grabs two chocolate bars from the stand next to the cash register and hands one to Miles as soon as he’s out again, the teenager nods in thanks. He takes off Captain’s leash from the collar and stands up again with the two bags full of groceries in one hand, the chocolate bar in the other.

“Hey, I haven’t thanked you and your family enough, for taking care of this guy for me”, Steve nods his head towards Captain that’s walking in front of them.

“Remember when I started putting together the fixed gear on my bike at the beginning of the year and you helped me a little, and then you bought me a front track wheel for my birthday? That is enough to take care of him for the rest of my life”, Miles laughs.

“Well, Sam said that wheels are important”, Steve smirks.

“Dude, you bought me an Aerospoke, are you kidding me? I still can’t believe it” Miles opens his eyes wide, “besides, it’s more like Cap takes care of us”, they younger guy adds.

“Yeah, he’s a good guy like that”, he smiles down at Captain who’s walking next to him now.

“How’s the shop doing?” Miles asks curiously.

“We have a lot o work, everything’s great, but I think we need to hire a new piercer”, he comments.

“Oh well, at least it’s going good, I wanna get myself a job but my mama said no until I turn sixteen at least”, he says sadly.

“She’s right, you’re still a kid, and your priority has to be your education, how’s it going by the way?” Steve questions.

“It’s okay, I mean, I like science class and stuff but I hate homework”, he grunts.

“I’ll tell you what, you keep doing good at school and I’ll put a word on you with my friends at ‘The Nest’ to give you the smaller routes as soon as you turn sixteen, if your mom agrees of course”, Steve smiles.

“You would do that?” Miles wonders, surprise on his voice, his eyes wide and smile big.

“Sure, I don’t see why not”, he shrugs.

“Thank you so much, Steve”, the kids sighs, “Bucky doesn’t work there, right? I’ve seen his bike and all but he didn’t mention anything”, Miles says.

“You’re welcome and no, he has a consultant job at Stark Industries”, Steve answers.

“Stark, eh?” the younger man blows a low whistle, “how’s he by the way, I haven’t seen him around anymore”, he asks gently until he frowns his eyebrows, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to intrude, you don’t have to answer that”, he adds quickly shaking his head.

“It’s okay, you know he has a band, right?” Steve asks and Miles nods, “well, you haven’t seen him because he went out on tour for a week, he’s coming back today actually”, he explains.

_Holy shit, Bucky is coming back today._

“That’s awesome”, he says.

Their walk is coming to an end, it’s way faster coming back than going because he concentrated on the conversation he’s having with Miles, instead of being alone with his thoughts about Bucky and how much he has missed him, and for a second there, panic starts to crawl from Steve’s stomach up to his throat. _Why if Bucky comes back and says he doesn’t want to do this anymore?_ They have no strings attached, this is not a relationship, and even if it was, Bucky is free to be with whomever he wants to, even if that person isn’t Steve and is someone more like Namor.

Miles and Steve are standing now in front of the kid’s house, Steve waiting for him to walk in before he moves to his house, Captain sitting patiently by his side.

“I know this is none of my business and my mom will probably give me a smack in the head if she heard me saying this but…” Miles sighs, “He really likes you, Bucky I mean, he didn’t say anything but I noticed his eyes look so different when he sees you, I don’t know, maybe I’m just being weird”, he chuckles softly.

“How old are you again?” Steve laughs awkwardly, “It’s good to hear that, I guess, I uh…- I like him too”, the blond scratches the back of his head looking down at his feet, his cheeks and ears blushed.

“That’s cool, you deserve to be happy”, he says, “see you around, Steve”, Miles waves over his shoulder as he walks towards his house.

And yes, it’s nice to hear it coming from someone that doesn’t hang around with them that often, it’s a little reassuring but that still doesn’t make the ache in Steve’s chest go away, _and how can Miles know that? He’s so young._

Steve opens the door of his house and walks inside after Captain, he moves to the little hallway that leads to the downstairs bathroom, Bucky’s bike is leaning against the wall where he left it all those days ago, Steve sighs and goes upstairs to take a quick shower and change into something more presentable, after that he just moves back to the first floor to choose a record to play, and then walks into the kitchen to occupy himself with the cooking and baking.

 _Bucky is coming back today_.

***

“I just can’t sometimes, I…” Bucky says looking down at the shredded pieces of napkin in his hands.

_I love him so much._

“James, you have to be patient with him”, the redhead comments, “Steve is a great guy, and I know he’s the one that likes to lead, I mean, he has his own shop, no long bills to pay, he has a savings account for fuck sakes, who does that anymore?” she chuckles and Bucky laughs along with her, “anyway, what I’m trying to say is that he has secure and safe things in his life, but with you, he’s not sure and that’s what bothers him”, Nat explains.

They are sitting at their little table in the kitchen, drinking tea just after Bucky finished his breakfast, it’s almost noon and Bucky wanted to leave to meet Steve since the moment Natasha woke him up, but she insisted that he ate something before he left.

“But he has me, that’s for sure, I don’t what him to doubt that, I want this to be serious, I do, but I don’t know how to say that to him”, Bucky says.

“And I assure you that he thinks the same way, but he’s never been in a situation like this, I know that he has always been straight forward with his past relationship, making clear what he wants, I guess you’re the exception”, she smirks shrugging a shoulder.

“But I don’t want to be the exception, I want him to tell me what he wants”, Bucky passes his hand through his hair making a few strands fall off from his little ponytail.

“Hey, being the exception is not always bad, I know he’s your exception”, Natasha laughs. Bucky is lost here, he doesn’t know what she means by that, he frowns his eyebrows at her and she must have noticed the confusion on his face, “For starters, you didn’t have sex with him the moment you realized you liked him, which still amazes me”, she chuckles and the brunet bumps his shoulder to hers, _she’s right though_ , “as for guys you really like, you’ve been around him for the longest time and you haven’t chickened out yet, and not to mention the stupid look on you face every time someone talks about him”, his friend laughs some more.

“Okay, okay, you’re right”, Bucky chuckles, “I better go now, I wanna see my man”, he smiles and she shakes her head, a fond smile on her lips.

“Remember, don’t be so desperate, don’t flip out on him, just talk”, Natasha demands pointing a finger at him.

“Yes, mooooom”, he singsongs as he puts on his jacket, the redhead gives him the finger. He walks to the door and steps out but before he closes it behind him he stops, “No, but seriously Nat, thank you”, he says.

She turns her head over her shoulder from where she’s sitting on the couch, “What would you do without me?” She laughs.

Bucky wanted to ride his bike to Steve’s but he remembers that he left it there, so he has to settle to ride the subway, it helps anyway, it gives him a bit of time to think about what he wants to say and to let Natasha’s words sink in.

_She’s right, he’s my exception._

_He’s everything I want and didn’t realize I was missing._

He wants a lot of things with Steve, he wants a serious relationship with him but he’s going to be patient like Nat said and let Steve lead this, but that doesn’t mean he can’t give him a little push.

_When did I get here?_

The brunet is now standing in front of Steve’s house, just staring at it: the white door, the stairs to the little porch, the plants in their pots, the windows, and everything. He sighs deeply before he starts walking towards the door, running his left hand through his hair pushing it back away from his face.

He lifts his hand curled into a fist to knock on the door but he gives it a second though and lowers it again, he turns back to grab the key from under the big rock where Steve always leaves the spare copy. Bucky unlocks the door carefully trying to be quiet, as soon as he opens he hisses at the warmness of the atmosphere, the sweet smell and the loud music coming from the record player. From all the albums in the entire world, Steve has Twitching Tongues’ ‘In Love There is No Law’ on, it’s an aggressive and heavy choice but the lyrics are soft and sentimental, is not Bucky’s cup of tea but he can relate. 

He places the paper bag he’s holding on top of the couch and tosses his jacket next to it, Captain is laying on his bed when he notices Bucky’s presence, _and he’s wearing a freaking sweater, a fucking sweater, kill me!_ The brunet shushes the dog who was beginning to stand up, _I’ll pet him later_ , Bucky places his index fingers to his lips, and the dog understands perfectly and goes back to sleep.

Bucky moves across the living room into the kitchen and leans against the doorframe when he sees the man in front of him, he wants to sigh so badly but he keeps it to himself, he just stares at Steve’s back as he shifts to the sink and back to the stove while he hums at the rhythm of the music. The blond is wearing his battered black Vans, dark blue jeans, a plaid flannel with the sleeves rolled up and a white shirt under it, everything toped with a blue apron.

_Yes, a fucking apron, this man._

_Mercy, please!_  

Steve is pouring something from a large pan into the sink, white steam coming out of it into the air, and Bucky can’t stand it anymore, he walks slowly towards him and wraps his arms tightly around the blond’s waist and buries his face between his shoulder blades, Steve doesn’t even move in surprise.

***

Steve can’t help to smile wide at the strong arms wraped around his waist, one with a full on tattoo sleeve and the other just bare soft skin, he looks down to see Bucky’s hands squeezing his own forearms, the brunet’s face pressed against Steve back, his respiration and heartbeat relaxed but strong.

“Hi”, Steve says scratching with his right hand the outside of Bucky’s left wrist, the brunet says something but Steve just hears muffled sounds against his back, the vibrations of Bucky’s voice making the little hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

_Bucky’s back._

Steve wants to scream, and cry, and jump with happiness but he doesn’t do any of those things, besides he can’t move with Bucky pressed against him, they stand there for a couple of minutes while Steve keeps stirring the pasta into the strainer.

“You’re back early”, Steve comments and Bucky nods his head in agreement but he doesn’t say anything, he just tightens his grip around Steve’s waist.

The blond sighs softly, letting out the air he didn’t realize he was holding, Bucky is here, he’s still here with his arms around Steve and the blond feels over the moon.

“Bucky?” Steve asks curiously.

The brunet let's go of Steve’s waist and places his hands on the blond’s hipbones instead and starts kissing his way up to Steve’s neck, he can’t feel too much because of the layers of clothing he’s wearing, until Bucky reaches the exposed skin on the back of his neck, Steve chuckles a little, hunching his shoulders inwards, Bucky’s stubble tickles him and the brunet teases him by rubbing his chin against the soft skin.

Bucky returns to the kissing, his mouth is slightly open and his lips wet and soft but the material of his piercing cold against the warm skin, and Steve hisses at the contact, he tilts his head to the right to make more room for Bucky and the brunet takes the hint and sucks gently on the area, Steve has to hold himself on the edge of the counter, breathing softly through his mouth and his eyes closed.

“Thank you”, Bucky says between kisses.

“What for? I haven’t done anything”, Steve whispers before he chuckles.

“You exist, that’s enough for me”, the brunet says before he places one last kiss, “Steve, why wouldn’t you tell me?” he adds taking a step away, making Steve’s back cold from the lost contact.

Steve’s eyes fly back open, his lips white pressed into a thin line, he sighs through his nose before he turns around to face Bucky, he knows they were going to have this conversation sooner or later, _because of course Natasha told him_.

The brunet is wearing a grey Henley with the buttons unmade and the sleeves up to his elbows, black jeans ripped on the knees and black boots, his hair is down right above his shoulders, the stubble is beginning to look more like a beard making him look older.

When Steve meets Bucky’s eyes, he’s expecting to see pity or disappointment but the only thing he sees is kindness and concern, “tell you what?” he says miserably.

“Stevie, talk to me, please, I’m sorry”, Bucky says cupping Steve’s face with own his hands, his eyes are glazy and open wide, the blond hold on the edge of the counter, the heel of his hands pressed against the cold material and his knuckles white.

_He’s sorry._

_Here it comes, the moment where he regrets this_.

“Can we… can we sit down for a bit?” Bucky asks, Steve just nods in Bucky’s hands biting the inside of his cheek.

***

Steve takes off the apron and leaves it on top of the kitchen counter, after that, Bucky grabs Steve’s hand to pull him into the living room, they sit down on the couch, Steve places his hands open wide against his thighs, his body completely facing forward but his head turned to his left towards Bucky, the brunet has a leg folded up in the couch and his body is facing Steve’s side. Bucky can see the worried look on the blond’s face, he holds his left hand with both of his and places it on his lap, Steve just stares down at their hands but doesn’t say anything.

“Hear me out for a second, okay? Then you can say whatever you want”, Bucky says and Steve nods not looking up.

“The reason I’m sorry is because in all the time while I was away I didn’t ask you how you were or what you were doing or anything, not even once, and it made feel miserable and stupid when I noticed that, I was such a jerk and an asshole and I’m sorry, I wanted to go back in time and regret agreeing on this tour at all, and…” Bucky comments.

“Bucky, that’s not…” Steve’s shakes his head from side to side until Bucky interrupts him, “wait, just let me explain”, he brings Steve’s hand to his mouth and places a gentle kiss right on the ‘KLYN’ letters on the blond’s knuckles.

“Then I realized that I didn’t regret going on tour, I know you wouldn’t like that, I had so much fun and it was amazing”, he nods, “but what I do regret is not telling you every chance I got how much I missed you”, Bucky says and Steve snaps his head up to that, finally looking at him, his baby-blue eyes bright as the sky and open wide, his face warm and beautiful, and Bucky’s eyes are beginning to fill with tears.

_How can I deserve this man?_

“You did? I know you were busy and all, it’s okay”, Steve nods.

“No, Steve, it’s not, I’ll never be busy enough to not miss you, I missed you so much it hurts to think about it”, Bucky blinks a few tears away and Steve shifts beside him, turning his body to the side to face him before he sweeps away the tears on the brunet’s face with his thumb.

“I missed you too”, Steve assures smiling and Bucky launches his arms at the blond’s neck to hug him.

Steve places his right hand on the back of Bucky’s head petting his hair while the brunet sniffs against the soft fabric of Steve’s shirt, the position is a little uncomfortable since Bucky is sitting on top of his right leg but he couldn’t care any less at the moment.

They stay like that for a few seconds before Bucky’s leg is completely numb and he speaks again, “can we move? I can’t feel my leg”, he says.

“Okay”, Steve chuckles.

_Oh man, how much I missed that laugh._

Steve sits facing forward again and Bucky places a cushion on his lap to rest his head on it, his body spread on the couch next to Steve, just how he likes it. The blond plays with Bucky’s hair with his right hand, brushing it with his fingers away from the brunet’s face while Bucky looks up to him smiling and humming happily, holding Steve’s left hand against his chest with both of his.

He wants to ask him again about Friday night but Natasha told him to be patient, _I’ll wait until he wants to talk about it_. They remain quiet for a moment until Steve is the first one to talk, “I was jealous”, he confesses, a cute pink blush spreading on his cheeks, “Darcy showed me some pictures, then I saw some others and I don’t know, it made feel stupid, I’ve never felt this way before, I know it’s dumb”, he says.

“No, it’s not”, Bucky shakes his head.

“We didn’t agree on being exclusive or anything and I can’t blame you if you want to be with someone else”, Steve says.

“I’m not interested in anyone else, I swear”, he nods, “ I know I didn’t help either because all I did was talk about myself or Namor”, Bucky squeezes Steve’s hand, “you have every right to feel the way you do, and if I was in your place I assure you I would’ve thrown a tantrum at you”, he chuckles, “oh and Namor is straight by the way, besides he’s an asshole most of the time, so no thank you”, Bucky adds shaking his head.

Steve burst out in laughter, tilting his head backwards into the backrest of the couch, exposing his throat, _that smooth and long throat that I want to kiss so much_ , “what are you laughing at?” Bucky wonders looking up at Steve.

“Nothing, it’s just…” he sighs after he calming himself, “it would have been nice to know that a few days ago”, Steve smirks.

“I know, I’m sorry”, Bucky whispers, “either way, everyone else can fuck off because I only want you, I only wanna be wanted by you”, Bucky says honestly and Steve just looks down at him with wide eyes, like he can’t believe what Bucky just said.

***

_I’m so in love with this man._

After his heart skips a beat and manages to realize he isn’t dreaming, Steve smiles at Bucky’s words, he can’t believe what Bucky just said because it’s exactly what he needs to hear, _just tell him about Friday night, Rogers_. Steve takes a deep breath and lets the air out through his mouth, “Bucky, I…” he starts, that until a loud beeping noise comes from inside the kitchen.

_Right, the pie!_

“What is that?” Bucky asks.

“I have something in the oven”, Steve answers, “let me just…” he points at the direction of the kitchen.

Bucky stands up to let Steve go into the kitchen, the brunet right behind him. Steve opens the oven and hunches down to check if it’s already done, he’s satisfied with the look of it so he pulls it out carefully after he put on the oven gloves and places it on top of the heat resistant surface protector that’s placed on top of the counter.

“You made me a pie?” Bucky peeks over Steve’s shoulder, a wide smile spread on his face.

“Aha”, he nods, “and I was going to make lasagna too but you got here earlier”, Steve answers.

“I can help you”, Bucky gives him a cheeky grin, “but not until you finish what you were going to say back there”, the brunet adds.

Steve takes off the oven gloves and turns around to sit on top of the counter right next to the sink, Bucky walks to him and situates himself against the counter between Steve’s open legs, his hands rested on the blond’s knees.

He lets out a few shaky breaths as he orders his thoughts to figure a way to explain what he wants to say, and the brunet just waits patiently, “about Friday, I didn’t tell you because I felt like I was 5 foot tall and 90 pounds of pure bone, I know it’s not the same again since it was practically an induced attack but…” Steve explains but doesn’t get to finish.

“WHAT?!” Bucky yells in surprise, his eyes wide staring back at Steve’s.

“I was exercising and I just couldn’t stop, and I kept going at it until it was too late when I realized I was having trouble breathing and the air wasn’t getting into my lungs, it was an accident, I swear”, Steve shakes his head, “I didn’t want to tell you because the last thing I need from you is pity, I’ve had plenty of that in my life, I was ashamed, I felt like an idiot that I couldn’t control my own body again”, he swallows down the tears inside his throat, “and I needed to fix this on my own, even though Nat and the guys didn’t let me”, Steve says staring down at his hands, not able to look at Bucky in the eyes.

Bucky doesn’t say anything right away and Steve is beginning to feel awkward with the brunet between his legs, he’s just breathing softly as he processes Steve’s words. Bucky takes his right hand off Steve’s knee and places two fingers under the blond’s chin to make him look back up, his expression is soft and understanding and it makes Steve feel a bit more comfortable.

“I would’ve dropped everything I was doing and comeback running if I had to, but I’m glad that our friends were here for you, I’ll have to thank them for that later”, Bucky clears his throat before he continues, “listen to me, and listen to me well Steven Grant Rogers”, he demands placing his hands on Steve’s shoulders, “I will never feel pity for you, I know what it’s like, remember?” Bucky says shrugging his left shoulder, “besides, I wouldn’t give two fucks if you were a cute little tiny twink or this guy you’re now because it would still be you, I know I would feel the same way I do, you don’t have to be ashamed of these things, do you understand?” Bucky says with such courage that makes Steve swell with happiness.

“Okay”, Steve whispers as a little smile begins to spread on his lips.

“Besides, one can’t fix what isn’t broken, I’m sure you don’t need any fixing, Stevie”, he comments and that’s it, Steve is completely sure he would do anything for this man.

 _I’m so gone for him_.

“I’m going to kiss you now”, Steve grins, feeling more like the man he hasn’t been in a long time.

“Seems fine with me”, Bucky chuckles and he leans forward into Steve’s legs, his hands on the blond’s thighs.

Steve places both of his hands on Bucky’s nape to bring his face closer to his; he plants a small peck on the brunet’s lips and a few more along his jawline and chin, his cheeks, over his micro-dermals, his eyebrows and forehead, the tip of his nose and all around his face, Bucky has his eyes squeezed shut the whole time, then Steve returns his attention to the lips and kisses him with a closed mouth until the brunet parts his, inviting Steve to go further, and of course the blond won’t give it a second thought.

He gives a little playful lick to Bucky’s bottom lip and earns a soft chuckle and a huge grin from the brunet, he continues kissing his way into Bucky’s mouth while he tightens his grip on the other man’s soft hair, lips moving against each other’s, warm tongues and saliva, heavy breathing, teeth clacking and noses brushing.

They part giggling after they can’t breathe any longer, and Steve laughs as soon as he opens his eyes, Bucky’s lips are red and swollen from being kissed so hard, but that is not what makes him chuckle, it’s Bucky’s hair that’s sticking in a million different directions.

“What?” Bucky asks giggling.

“Nothing, your hair is all over the place”, Steve laughs.

“Well, not my fault”, he bites down his bottom lip as he smiles.

_How can he be so cute and sexy at the same time?_

***

_Shit, this man, seriously._

_Steve’s kisses do not disappoint._

Bucky is not sure what he wants to do more: to rip the blond’s clothes away from his body or to get down in one knee and propose, or maybe both in no specific order. Steve stared kissing his face all cute and gentle until he moved into Bucky’s mouth, hot and wet, and every time he bit Bucky’s lip or pulled his piercing a little, he felt a twitch between his legs. Steve kisses are welcoming and homey, they’re nice and caring, and everything that Bucky wants in his life.

“I missed you, I really did”, Bucky assures, looking at Steve eyes which are looking up while he passes his hands through Bucky’s hair, trying to soothe it back in place.

“I missed you too, baby”, Steve says before he kisses Bucky’s forehead, “what do you say if we make some food now?” he offers with a smile.

“Oh yes, please”, Bucky steps back to let Steve stand down on the floor again.

“Okay, I’ll start here and you go on and put on something, I think the record stopped a while ago”, the blond chuckles.

_Right, the bag._

“Okay, anything in particular?” Bucky wonders walking to the living room.

“Nah, whatever you choose is fine”, Steve says.

_Oh boy, he’s going to be so excited._

Bucky grabs the bag he left forgotten on the couch and brings it back into the kitchen, Steve already put on his apron and he’s washing his hands on the sink, “how about this one”, Bucky walks to stand next to Steve offering the flat paper bag to him, Steve looks to his left with his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“I brought you something”, Bucky smirks.

Steve grabs the small towel that’s hanging from a little hook on one of the doors from the counter and dries his hands before he holds the present, he takes it out slowly and his eyebrows flight up to his hair line, eyes wide and mouth slightly open as soon as he realized what he’s holding.

“You being straight edge, I know this is one of your favorite bands, I noticed the other day you have ‘Bringin’ It Down’ but you didn’t have that one, so yeah”, Bucky shrugs.

“Yes Bucky, but this, I can’t…” Steve shakes his head.

“Hey, handsome, I got it for you”, Bucky takes a step forward and places his hand on the side of Steve’s neck, rubbing his thumb against the strong jaw line, “besides, it’s not like I’m the record nerd anyway”, he chuckles.

“Thank you, Buck, really, this is…” Steve let out a low whistle before he continues, “how did you come across this?” he asks.

“Lets just say that I know a guy that knows a guy, he cut me a pretty good deal so I couldn’t pass it on”, Bucky smiles.

“Well, thank you again”, Steve gives Bucky a quick hug before he returns to do what he has in mind and Bucky walks back to the living room to put on the record.

_'Chung King Can Suck It’ LP by Judge, 1989, Revelation Records, REV-1, only 110 pressed copies, beautifully done on white vinyl._

It’s a very rare album among the underground music scene, auctions going from six thousand dollars and up, _they even have a list with the names of the owners of each original copy._ Judge, the New York-based straight edge hardcore band, of course is one of Steve’s favorites. When Bucky was up in Syracuse, Jim and Toro introduced him to a guy that owns a record store and somewhere along their talk he said something about Steve being straight edge, the guy mentioned proudly that he happened to own two copies of said album and Bucky practically begged him to buy one.

That’s what Bucky got for Steve, good thing that Stark’s money is really good and he has some savings so he won’t have to steal Natasha’s food, because spending more than a few hundred dollars on a hardcore record doesn’t exactly sounds like a good deal, _it’s insane_ , but Steve deserves the world and Bucky is going to give it to him if he can, _or at least I’ll try._

Bucky puts on the record and goes back to the kitchen to help Steve with the food, they move around each other comfortably, the blond prepares everything for the lasagna and layers all the meat, cheese and pasta and puts it on the oven to heat everything together, swatting away Bucky’s hand every time he tries to snatch a piece of cheese, that until he puts him on salad duty and Bucky washes the vegetables to do a simple lettuce salad before he cuts the bread and places it on a pan to toast it on the oven.

They chat the whole time between kisses, smiles and glances at each other, Bucky talks about his tour and his favorite things about each city, the people he met and the places they visited, while Steve on the other hand, talks about work, the time he met with Clint and Sam, and his training at the Red Room. Luckily, he’s being more open about what happened on Friday and explains to him what the doctor said and how he needs to rest and take it easy with work and the exercising.

“So, I was thinking…” Bucky starts as he fixes the table.

“That’s a good thing, Buck”, Steve sasses before the brunet gets to finish.

“HA-HA, really funny”, Bucky sticks out his tongue at him, “no, but seriously, Nat told me you haven’t decided what you’re doing for Thanksgiving, and I was wondering if you would like to go with me to D.C.”, he says peeking his head into the kitchen, Steve is looking back at him over his shoulder from where he’s standing in front of the oven, “I mean, if you want to”, Bucky adds with a smile.

“I don’t want to intrude, Bucky, I know it’s a family thing”, Steve turns around his head so he isn’t facing Bucky anymore.

Bucky walks to Steve and hugs him from the side, resting his chin on the blond’s left shoulder as he looks up at him bating his long lashes, “Steve, I want you there, that’s why I’m asking”, Bucky grins.

“I’ll go if you want me to”, Steve says.

“Of course I want you to, but do you want to?” Bucky wonders, “No, you know what?” the brunet huffs, “you’re going, the doctor said you have to rest and stuff and I have to take care of you, and I can’t do that if you’re not with me, I’m not leaving you again”, he adds tightening his grip around Steve’s broad shoulders.

“You don’t have to take care of me, I’m not a child”, Steve whispers under his breath.

“I know I don’t but I want to and you can’t do anything about it”, Bucky shakes his head, “we leave Thursday morning, okay?” he informs and Steve just nods.

“Okay?” Bucky asks firmly.

“Okay”, Steve answers, this time smiling, “this is ready, lets eat before it gets cold”, he points to the large glass Pyrex full of lasagna.

“That’s settled then, and yes, I’m hungry”, Bucky places a kiss on Steve’s nose before he walks to the table with the jug of lemonade in hand. They sit around the table to eat after Steve serves their plates and turns off the oven.

“Hey, it’s a good thing you’re going so my mom won’t kill me”, Bucky laughs.

“Why is that?” Steve wonders.

“My sister told her we’re dating and she begged me to invite you, I didn’t tell you right away not because I didn’t want you there, but because my parents can be a handful sometimes, I don’t want to scare you away”, Bucky clarifies over a mouthful of food.

“I’m sure they’re great, besides you couldn’t scare me away even if you tried”, Steve smiles.

_What did I do to deserve you?_

“You always say exactly what I want to hear, how are you even real?” Bucky laughs and Steve blushes, a cute pink color spreading across his cheeks, but he doesn’t say anything since he has his mouth full, “anyway, I’m almost positive that if my mom had your number she would call you to invite you personally and I’ll be your plus one, I’m not even kidding”, he chuckles some more.

“Well, I don’t know your mom and I like her already”, Steve jokes as soon after he swallows his food.

“I won’t mention you said that, if I do she’ll never let you leave the house”, Bucky comments between giggles.

After that, they continue eating and talking about Bucky’s family while Steve laughs along with him. The blond mentions his past holidays spent with Sam and Clint, and how glad he’s for having such good friends that care for him without asking anything in return, and all that Bucky can think about is _why in the world_ it took so long for them to meet, _again_.

***

After two servings of lasagna, they finally finish and clear the table and kitchen, Bucky complains the whole time that they can do it later but Steve doesn’t like to leave things out of place for too long, and while the brunet whines as he washes the dishes, Steve cleans the rest of the kitchen. The pie is cool by now but they’re really full and decide it can wait for a while longer.

“What do you wanna watch?” Bucky asks from where he’s standing in front of the wall of movies.

“Whatever is fine”, he shrugs a shoulder from where he’s sitting on the couch, a big blanket spread over his legs.

“Is this the new one?” Bucky asks holding the blue-ray box of ‘The Lego Movie’.

“If by new you mean recent, then yes, it’s been out for months”, Steve says.

“Yeah, smart ass, that’s what I meant, is it any good?” Bucky lifts an eyebrow at him.

“What? You haven’t seen it? You’re kidding, right?” Steve frowns his eyebrows.

“No, I mean, Nat is always busy and at the time it came out I was with…” the brunet sighs, “I was with… you know… and he didn’t like to go out, or to be seen in public with me for that matter, besides he doesn’t like these type of movies and…” Bucky tries to explain awkwardly.

 _Brock, he means Brock_.

Steve doesn’t want to hear any of this anymore, just the way that Bucky is mumbling to try to explain the way that Brock handle their relationship it makes Steve want to punch the guy all over again. He stands up and walks over there while Bucky continues to explain looking down at the floor, the blond stands in front of him and places his hands gently on the brunet’s shoulders, making him look up, his eyes are sad at the memories and all that Steve wants to do is make him feel better.

_Just the way Bucky does._

“Hey, it’s okay that you haven’t watched it, we’re going to watch it and I promise you’re going to love it, and the next time we go to the movie theater you’re going to choose the movie, and the next time, and the next time, and the next hundred or even thousand times, I don’t care”, Steve squeezes Bucky’s shoulders.

The brunet looks at him with such sweet eyes that gives the confidence that Steve needs to say the next thing, cupping Bucky’s face with his hands and looking right into his eyes, “I’m not going to hurt you, baby, I want to show you off, I want to tell people about you, if my parents were still alive I would’ve brought you to them and I’m sure they would’ve love you, I want to do whatever with you, I just want you”, Steve assures, Bucky’s eyes are a tad glassy but a wide smile spread on his lips, he leans into Steve space and hugs him tightly.

“I’m telling you, Steve, you’re something else”, Bucky whispers against the curve of Steve’s neck.

“I still don’t know what you mean with that”, he chuckles. 

“Someday you will understand, how about if we watch this then?” Bucky asks as Steve moves back and nods happily.

Steve puts on the movie and they sit next to each other on the couch with the blanket over their legs, Steve’s left arm across Bucky’s shoulders and Captain sleeping peacefully on the brunet’s left while he rubs the top of his head.

“He looks adorable with his grandpa sweater”, Bucky chuckles.

“Yeah, Sam bough it for him last year, he said he needed to match with my outfits”, Steve laughs.

They settle against the back of the couch comfortably as they watch the movie, Steve replaying the songs and dialogues on the back of his mind while he watches Bucky laugh out loud every time Batman comes into picture, or at Emmet saying something funny, Steve smiles wide every time that Bucky points at the screen when he spots a cameo from some famous character.

Steve rests his head over Bucky’s shoulder for a moment, letting sink in everything that happened the week before and how glad he’s that all his suspicions about Bucky regretting this were wrong, and all the things he said about being happy with him, that he doesn’t want nobody else, it makes Steve feel more secure and somewhat safe.

They don’t have a title to this relationship, he doesn’t want to call Bucky his boyfriend just yet but Steve is more aware that this is where they’re heading and he feels glad about it, he has no doubt now that Bucky is here because he wants to and not because he’s looking for a hook up.

_He wants me, and I still feel like I’m dreaming._

Bucky’s words have been exactly what he needs to hear to stop thinking that the brunet will leave him, if Bucky wants to be with him, Steve is more than pleased to comply. When he heard those words coming out of Bucky’s mouth he felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders and the knots on the pit of his stomach started to unknot.

“Everything is awesomeeeeeeee!” Bucky sings out loud as soon as the movie ends, launching his arms at the air, Steve laughing in enjoyment.

“So, what’s the verdict, did you like it?” Steve wonders stretching his arms over his head.

“It’s amazing, the end was so cool”, the brunet grins.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it”, he smirks warmly, “do you want to watch something else?” The blond asks.

“Yeah, whatever, but I want piiiieeeeeeeeeee”, Bucky whines poking Steve’s arm.

“Okay, okay, coffee?” Steve says standing up.

“Sure”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder and stands up, but he doesn’t follow Steve to the kitchen, he walks towards the shelves full of records and runs his fingers through them, not looking for anything specific.

Steve stands by the doorframe looking at Bucky while he browses around the vinyl albums and sighs to himself before he turns around and moves to the kitchen, he pulls out a couple of plates from the top shelf and places them next to the pie, he plugs in the coffee machine and then opens the freezer to choose a coffee blend, _some dark roast will do_.

***

“Are you kidding me with this?” Bucky asks between chuckles.

“With what?” Steve stands by the kitchen doorframe holding an empty cup with his left hand.

Bucky already put on the vinyl on the record player, _hell yes, I have an idea_ , he holds the needle up for a second and turns to the right to wiggle his eyebrows at Steve, the blond frowns at him in confusion. As soon as Bucky drops the needle and the soft music begins to play, Steve rolls his eyes and huffs through his nose.

‘Bump N’ Grind’ Single by R. Kelly, Jive, 1994.

“It was a joke from Sam and Clint, to help me “set the mood””, Steve say holding up his hand free hand to do the quotation marks.

“Did it help?” Bucky teases walking to the middle of the living room.

“Well, I’ve never needed it”, Steve shrugs casually and Bucky chuckles softly.

“Oh, excuse me, Mr. Perfect”, he says, the blond just laughs shaking his head.

_Yes, you’re perfect._

Bucky pushes the coffee table that’s in the middle of the living room towards the wall to make some space, then he stands up straight with a hand on his hip staring back at Steve, who’s looking back at him with a questioning look on his face again.

“Dance with me”, Bucky demands offering a hand at Steve.

“Oh no, no, no”, Steve mumbles, “I can’t, Buck”, the blond says.

“C’mooooooooon”, Bucky yammers.

Steve huffs but he puts down the empty cup on top of the side table next to the couch and walks towards Bucky, he takes the extended hand with his and Bucky wraps his other hand on Steve’s neck. The blond let go of Bucky’s hand and places his arms around the brunet’s waist and smiles wide.

“Hi”, Bucky says.

They’re practically standing still until Bucky starts to move a little, shifting from one foot to the other, Steve laughs standing in the same place, by this time the song already started a second time, since it’s the single album it has the same song in different versions.

“I can’t believe you’re trying to slow dance to this song, I can’t take it seriously”, Steve chuckles.

“Really? How can you say that, this is a sexy song, dude”, Bucky informs.

“This is dumb, Bucky”, Steve giggles.

“Dumb?” Bucky lifts his eyebrows at him, “you know what? Sit down”, the brunet demands.

“What?” Steve asks in confusion.

“Sit. Down. Now”, Bucky orders pushing Steve back by the shoulders, making him fall into the couch while he laughs.

“What are you doing?” the man questions.

“What do you prefer, to see or touch?” He asks.

“What… what do you mean?” Steve asks, his eyebrows knit together.

“Just choose, Rogers, do you wanna see or touch?” The brunet wonders batting his eyelashes slowly at the guy in front of him.

“Um, to see? I guess?” Steve shrugs not sure of his answer.

“Good”, Bucky smirks.

Bucky runs a hand through his hair and closes his eyes before he takes a deep breath and exhales softly through his nose, the brunet pays attention to the strong beat of the music and the soft voices of the chorus, letting the rhythm and blues take over his body, he knows how to dance and he’s going to take advantage of that.

He starts to move his upper body, his hips swinging side to side slowly to match the rhythm of the smooth lyrics, his right hand resting on his hip while he brushes his hair away from his face with the other, his eyes staring back at Steve’s.

“Bucky, what are you…” Steve frowns.

Bucky points his index finger at him, “no talking”, he interrupts, and the blond obeys by clapping his lips together into a thin line.

The brunet returns to what he wass doing, he dances along with the music, his hands running up and doing his chest playing with the soft fabric of his Henley, Steve’s eyes are open wide moving up and down through every inch of Bucky’s body. Bucky turns around slowly, as he rolls his hips back and forward, his hands playing with his hair, Steve is breathing loudly through his nose while his lips are still pressed together tightly.

“You like this?” Bucky teases peeking back over his shoulder to look at Steve; the blond nods slowly, “This song isn’t funny anymore, right?” Bucky adds chuckling; the other guy shakes his head from side to side quickly.

He turns around again and walks towards Steve, he is staring at Bucky looking like he forgot how to blink, not wanting to miss anything; Bucky notices when his Adam’s apple moves when he swallows hard as Bucky shifts closer to him, “open your legs” Bucky demands. Steve looks puzzled staring up at him at the same time he opens his mouth, the brunet lifts his eyebrows at him and Steve claps his lips back together.

“Do you want me to stop?” Bucky asks, Steve shakes his head rapidly, his cheeks going red, “if in any moment you want me to stop, just say it, okay?” he says, the blond moves his head up and down, “legs”, Bucky nods his head towards Steve’s lower body and the man obeys right away.

Bucky takes off his shirt and his shoulder brace slowly, making a show of it, Steve is staring at him after all, when the piece of clothing is removed, he tosses it away to the other side of the couch and turns around. He swings his hips side to side lowering himself to sit between Steve’s legs, right on his lap, his hands fisted on his hair and moves his hips again, this time back and forth slowly, making his back arc with every movement, his ass rubbing Steve’s crotch making the area feel warm under him.

***

_Holy shit, this is happening._

_A lap dance from Bucky._

_Am I dreaming?_

_Pinch me._

Steve’s chest is growing up and down while he stares down at his lap, where Bucky is rubbing his ass-cheeks against him, Steve just wishes their clothes could magically disappear. The brunet lowers his hands and places them on Steve’s knees to support his weight against them, rolling his hips looking back at him over his shoulder.

The blond’s teeth dig into his lower lip to prevent his tongue from coming out, all he wants to do is kiss Bucky’s back and the scars on his shoulder, run his tongue through every single bone from his exposed vertebras and bite the back of his neck and shoulders.

He moves his hands from where they were resting next to each leg, he’s about to place them on Bucky’s waist when the brunet shakes his head fiddling with his lips piercing, the micro-dermarls on his face looking bright thanks to the light of the room.

“Remember I asked you if you wanted to see or touch and you said you wanted to see?” Bucky whispers, Steve nods his head, _this no talking game is killing me_ , “then, you made your choice, you can see, but you can’t touch”, he smirks teasingly wiggling his eyebrows.

Steve makes a complaining whimper on the back of his throat and rests his arms on each side of the backrest of the couch, holding to it to keep his roaming hands away from the man in front of him. The brunet continues moving and brushing against Steve until the song ends again, his hands rubbing Steve’s legs up and down, and the blond is starting to feel his dick getting hard inside his jeans.

The song begins one more time and Bucky stands back up, Steve wants to complain at the loss of contact and the cold he starts to feel, but right before the whine leaves his mouth, Bucky turns around and closes Steve’s legs, he sits down again on Steve’s lap but this time facing forward. Bucky’s crotch brushes against Steve’s and the blond notices that he isn’t the only one feeling aroused at the moment, the brunet’s cock is beginning to harden too, and Steve wants to touch him so badly that he has to tighten his grip on the backrest, making his knuckles white.

_This man is going to give me a heart attack._

“Not so bad bumping and grinding, if you know what I mean”, Bucky chuckles, his voice raspy and low and it makes Steve feel even more frustrated.

Bucky places his hands on each side of Steve’s neck for support and continues to move his hips making their dicks rub together, Steve looks right into Bucky’s eyes, his pupils are blown wide making his eyes look almost black and Steve knows it’s a mirror to his own eyes, filled with lust and desire.

The brunet begins to move his hands down Steve’s chest trying to undo each button of his flannel, at the same time he leans forward and starts giving him kisses on the side of his neck, the brunet’s stubble tickling his sensitive skin, the blond moans softly between chuckles tilting his head backwards and resting it on the couch to make more room for Bucky, breathing through his open mouth.

The man continues to unbutton his shirt while Steve just fights against himself not to touch him, he wants to kiss him so badly, to run his fingers through that soft and long brown hair, to put his hands around his small waist, but he doesn’t do any of those things, he just bites down on his lip and waits patiently.

When Bucky finally opens Steve’s shirt he starts to kiss the center of Steve’s broad chest after he huffed when he noticed his white undershirt was still on the way, Bucky’s hand begins to travel down his shirt and the blond hisses at the cold touch of those fingers.

“Sorry”, Bucky says kissing his way back up to Steve’s neck.

After a couple of long and excruciating minutes, just right on time when the music stops, Bucky continues to move against Steve, they’re half hard by now and the brunet bites down and sucks the curve of Steve’s neck, the blond whines softly, his eyebrows frowning and eyes tightly closed.

“Touch me, please”, Bucky whispers against his skin.

Steve let go of the couch and opens his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to clear away the white spots from his vision, he tilts his head back up to look at Bucky again, the guy is smiling, wide and warm. He cups Bucky’s head with both of his hands and pulls him closer to crash their mouths together.

The kiss is sloppy and wet, tongue circling against the other, teeth clacking and noses brushing, their breathing is heavy and Steve begins to move his hips upwards to meet Bucky’s rubbing movements.

He takes off his flannel trying to keep their mouths together, and Steve pants heavily when the end of the sleeves gets caught up on his wrists, he pulls back while Bucky chuckles at Steve’s desperation before he tries to help him free his hands, after they manage to accomplish such an important task, Bucky tugs Steve’s white under shirt up to his arms and over his head, they’re now both shirtless and grinding against each other.

Steve cups Bucky’s ass and squeezes his buttocks with both of his strong and big hands earning a soft whimper from the brunet as he arches his back towards Steve, Bucky begins biting and sucking along Steve’s collarbone getting a silent moan in return.

“What did the doctor say about this?” Bucky asks.

“What?” Steve questions before he opens his eyes to see that Bucky is trailing his hands over his ribs, where a few bruises are still visible but finally fading away.

“Oh, he said it’s fine, nothing’s broken”, he answers between breaths.

The brunet nods and gives Steve a sweet but quick peck on the lips, “Steve…” Bucky whispers placing his hands on Steve’s shoulders, he has a nervous look on his face and Steve is starting to get anxious about it.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Nothing, it’s just… can we go upstairs?” the brunet blushes a little, the slightest hint of pink on his cheeks, “to your room, I mean, only if you want to”, Bucky continues.

_Fuck yes._

“I guess we took this way too slow, didn’t we?” He teases before he holds Bucky’s body closer to his and stands up, the brunet wraps his legs around Steve’s waist and his arms around his neck, Steve walks towards the stairs and tries not to get too distracted by Bucky kissing the side of his neck while moves his way up to his room.

***

_This is happening, this is actually happening._

Steve carries him all the way up to his bedroom, the act brings bittersweet memories to Bucky’s mind, from the one day they were together almost a month ago, and Bucky feels stupid for thinking about it, everything that happened after that could had been avoided, but at least he’s glad they sorted everything out.

He’s currently laying down on Steve’s bed with the blond on top of him, carefully placed between Bucky’s open legs, Steve’s hands roaming across his chest with such gentle touch that makes Bucky shiver under him, the brunet keeps his hands on Steve’s hair, his fingernails scratching the man’s scalp softly as they continue kissing with their mouths open against each other’s.

Everything is getting hot pretty fast and his dick grows harder every time that Steve pulls Bucky’s lip piercing with his teeth and sucks his lower lip into his mouth, or when he rubs the brunet’s nipples with his thumbs and plays with the piercings in that particular area, and Bucky moans into Steve’s mouth every _fucking_ time.

Steve’s right hand travels further down between them and he begins to rub Bucky’s cock on top of jeans, and he finds himself digging his fingernails at those muscular and strong biceps as he feels the pressure on his jeans growing stronger, his hips move against Steve’s hand trying to feel more of the warm touch through the thick layers of clothing, and the blond chuckles at Bucky’s eagerness.

“You like this?” Steve smirks teasingly massaging the length of Bucky’s dick up and down.

“You’re so mean”, Bucky huffs, tilting his head backwards, his mouth slightly open.

“Am I?” the blond asks with a playful tone on his voice, squeezing Bucky’s shaft harder, he can’t even answer back because a loud moan escapes his mouth, his head falls back into the pillow with his eyes closed tightly, “that’s what I thought”, Steve whispers before he begins to kiss the sensitive skin under Bucky’s ear.

 _Shit, this man_.

Bucky can feel Steve is hard inside his jeans too as he grinds his crotch against Bucky, the brunet’s hands moving up and down Steve’s back, his nails scratching gently at the pale skin. Bucky whines a little when Steve let go of his dick and leans back between his spread legs, he rests his buttocks on his ankles as he fiddles with the button and fly of Bucky’s jeans, the brunet is happy to help and sits down to return the favor.

“I wanna suck you, let me suck you”, Bucky says moving out of the bed to get rid of his clothes completely, Steve lays down in the same place where Bucky was a few seconds ago and supports his weight on his ankles and upper back to pull off his clothes too.

“I won’t say no”, Steve says, his cheeks and neck flushed.

Steve puts a pillow under his head to make himself more comfortable as Bucky settles between the blond’s legs, he swallows the saliva that’s beginning to pool on his mouth as soon as his eyes caught Steve’s hard dick slightly curved against the man’s abs; the tip is red, shiny and wet with pre-come and Bucky finds himself touching his own cock, wrapping his fingers around his shaft while he appreciates the view.

“And then?” Steve asks lifting an eyebrow at him.

“Damn, you’re so bossy”, Bucky chuckles, “I like it though”, he smirks teasingly biting down on his lower lip.

“You do?” Steve wonders.

Steve is staring at him with a lustful look between Bucky’s eyes and mouth until his view lowers down to the brunet’s hands on his dick, Bucky moves back a little and rests his weight on his knees, then leans forward to Steve’s crotch and places a few kisses around the area: his hips, the V on his pelvic bone, his lower stomach, bellybutton, everywhere but his dick; Bucky feels joyful when Steve grits his teeth and pulls at the brunet’s hair with a tiny amount of strength every time his lips get closer to his cock, his hands brushing the man’s toned and tattooed legs, Bucky’s dick responds with a twitch every time.

When he finally takes Steve’s dick with his hand and gives a lick to the whole length of it with the flat of his tongue, from the base to the tip, the blond’s teeth dig into his own lower lip to prevent a moan from coming out, his head rests further into the pillow. The man’s cock is big and hard and Bucky continues to lick it joyfully before he puts it in his mouth completely, and Steve does a few stranded noises in the back of his throat, Bucky makes it his job to make the guy loose his mind.

Bucky begins to bob his head up and down, moaning softly against Steve’s cock while the tip hits the back of his throat and makes him gag a little, he let out a long sigh through his nose to calm his breathing. Bucky’s hair is fanning out on his face until Steve brushes it away with his hand, placing it on the back of Bucky’s head, carefully not to thrust forward to force his dick even deeper, which is exactly what Bucky wants.

“Shit, just like that, baby”, Steve finally whispers, “you’re so good to me”, he says.

He feels his own hard cock jump again as soon as he hears Steve’s praise; Bucky looks up to see that Steve is staring down at him with wide and heated eyes. Bucky maintains Steve’s dick on his mouth without looking away, holding his breath for a few seconds against the thickness of it, he bobs his head back slowly trying to breathe through his nose and pulls it out with an obscene pop, he chuckles when Steve whines.

“I want you inside of me, Steve, please”, he begs as he continues stroking the man’s dick with his hand, putting extra attention to the head, rubbing his thumb around the tip while he looks straight to Steve’s eyes, but he feels clearly when Steve freezes beneath him.

“Are you sure?” Steve asks awkwardly.

Bucky begins to crawl on top of Steve, kissing his way up the guy’s torso until he meets those sky blue eyes almost gone black with arousal, “Of course, I want you, I want you so bad, please”, he says before he starts to rub his dick against Steve’s while he sucks the man’s collarbone, right on top of his chest tattoo.

“Okay, okay, but we do this my way, yes?” Steve says, but it isn’t exactly a question.

“Yeah, anything”, Bucky whispers.

Steve places his hand on the back of Bucky’s neck and crashes their mouths together, the brunet whimpers feeling his dick dripping pre-come into Steve’s belly, “okay, you lay on the bed”, the blond says after they break the kiss to take a deep breath.

The pit of Bucky’s stomach is warm at Steve’s command, he leans back into his knees to let Steve step out of the bed, he’s about to lay on his back when Steve grabs a pillow and puts in to the middle of the bed, “there, face down”, he says pointing towards the pillow.

“Why?” He asks curiously.

“Because I’m going to eat you out first”, Steve shrugs a shoulder like it’s nothing.

_Is he for real?_

“What?” Bucky questions, he thinks he’s imagining things.

“You heard me, you got a problem with that?” Steve lifts an eyebrow at him, his hands placed on his hips.

“Uuuhh no, it’s just…” Bucky shakes his head, like that would help to clear his mind.

“C’mon Bucky, I’m not going to beg”, Steve informs.

Bucky smiles at him, that’s a picture he would pay to see, Steve on his knees begging him to do something, but in reality, Bucky is more turned on by Steve’s commands. He does as the guy orders and closes his eyes for a second when his erection is pressed against the pillow under him, and tries not to rock his hips against it. Bucky hears some noises next to the bed as if Steve is looking for something, after a few seconds, he feels his weight shifting when Steve places his knees on each side of his legs trapping them in place.

“I know you’re not very patient, if you wanna come tell me”, the blond says.

“Come? I can last more than fifteen minutes you know, I’m not a teena…” Bucky says but doesn’t get to finish because Steve leans forward and begins to kiss the back of Bucky’s thighs, right under his ass cheeks, the brunet buries his face into the pillow between his arms.

_Oh shit!_

***

Steve is glad that the tables turned because he wasn’t going to last if Bucky continued with what he was doing, kissing him teasingly around his shaft, rubbing his stubble at Steve’s sensitive skin, sucking Steve’s cock like it was his favorite lollipop as his eyes looked up to meet Steve’s, the brunet’s lips stretching as Steve’s hard dick disappeared into the other man’s mouth, he was losing his mind _embarrassingly_ quick.

Bucky is the one that asked Steve, and for a second there, he couldn’t believe what he heard, this is something that he’s been dreaming of since the first moment he saw Bucky, but now, the man laying beneath him, cursing obscenities into the pillow is real, _very quite real_ , and all that Steve wants to do is make him feel good.

He’s willing to do everything that Bucky asks him to, that’s why Steve said they’re doing this his way. Most of the time is simple to get carried away when it comes to sex, two people getting naked in a bed having sexual relations; it’s easy for some, but difficult for others. Steve knows that the both of them have had several relationships and been with a few different people; but Bucky’s last wasn’t a good one, it’s been months since everything with Brock happened, but Steve wants to be gentle with Bucky, he wants to show him what he means to him. This is more than just getting his cock inside Bucky’s ass, making him scream Steve’s name into the silence of the room and leave as soon as he’s done.

 _I will never do that_.

If Bucky wants him to be rough and fuck him hard he can do it, he’s more than happy to, but not right now, Steve wants to be gentle with him, he has to make his point, to let Bucky know that he’s important and that he’s worth it, that nobody has the right to make him feel guilty for wanting something serious, because really, that’s all that Steve wants, and if he can make Bucky scream and cry with pleasure in the process, is exactly what he’s going to do.

_Bucky deserves that and so much more._

Steve clears his thoughts away and concentrates into the here and now, Bucky’s ass is perfectly exposed thanks to the pillow under him and Steve’s mouth begins to water at the sight, he leans forward and starts kissing everything he can reach, anywhere but that sweet spot that Bucky is probably dying to be touched on, and Steve is in desperate need to pay attention to it too but he loves to see Bucky’s stutter moves when he teases him.

He greets his teeth softly against one of Bucky’s ass-cheeks and stares up to see the man’s face; Bucky is looking back over his shoulders with frowned eyebrows and his mouth slightly open. Steve does the same to the other perfect round buttock and the brunet let out a stranded noise on the back of his throat.

“Steveeeeee”, Bucky whines.

“What?” He asks innocently with a huge grin on his face while his hands rub Bucky’s perineum with his thumb.

“I told you, you’re the meanest person ever, you’re the worst”, Bucky says.

“I’m not”, Steve smiles, right before he gives the tinniest lick closer to Bucky’s pink and tight ring of muscles.

“Pleaseee”, he begs with a moan.

“Okay, okay”, Steve chuckles.

Steve has a job to do and if he’s going to do it, has to be done right.

He rests his weight on his folded legs and leans forward placing his hands on each of Bucky’s buttocks and squeezes a little, his thumbs exposing exactly what he wants to see. The blond starts giving small flicks and licks to Bucky’s taint and crack and smiles to himself when Bucky starts to gasp into the pillow, then he moves down and licks from the brunet’s scrotum to his hole, his hands stroking up and down Bucky’s ass and legs, the brunet cries out during the process.

When he finally puts all of his attention to the man’s hole, he starts to circle his tongue around it teasingly, before he runs the flat of his tongue to it completely, he flicks and slurps against him, humming softly, _because that will drive him crazy_. Saliva runs down his chin and throat, he licks the spot over and over, moving his tongue in 8-shapes, circles, up and down, side to side and even traces letters with it, the pit of his own stomach feels warm and his hard erection twitching between his legs every time Bucky screams into the pillow or tries to move his hips back to meet Steve’s tongue, because he’s practically fucking him with it by now.

“How we doing, baby?” Steve asks leaning back, searching around him for the lube he pulled out from the little drawer on the nightstand when Bucky and him exchanged places. _It’s time for fingers._

Bucky looks over his shoulder again with a blissful look on his face and his face flushed, his eyes open wide with excitement when he sees Steve coating his fingers with lube, “you want this?” Steve asks the brunet, he nods before he rests the side of his face into the pillow.

Steve returns to his previous position and licks the spot again to work it open even more before he starts with his fingers, when he feels Bucky is lose enough for them, he moves his right hand close to the spot as the left one continues to stroke Bucky’s arched back. Steve begins to push in his index finger slowly until the ‘O’ from his tattooed knuckle disappears completely inside Bucky, it goes in easily and he starts to pull it in and out a few times to prepare the man for another finger, the brunet moans breathing through his mouth, his eyebrows knit together with pleasure.

When he feels Bucky’s muscles relax against his finger, he pushes a second one inside and repeats the process, this time scissoring his fingers, twisting them inside and curling them slightly, causing Bucky to let out a soft cry when brushes the man’s prostate.

“Another, please”, Bucky begs.

He leans forward again to work on Bucky’s hole with his tongue between his fingers, and feels proud when the man shivers beneath him as he tries to rub himself against the pillow. Bucky is obviously clean but the lube isn’t too pleasant but he continues to lick until he accustoms to the taste, he moves back when he adds a third finger and Bucky hisses before he sighs through his nose.

“Stevie, I need you, please”, Bucky whispers.

Steve cleans his chin with the back of his left hand and moves himself on top of Bucky, his weight supported on his left arm as his right hand continues to move inside the man’s tight hole, he trails his way up Bucky’s back with kisses, to the back of his neck and shoulder blades, putting extra attention on the scar tissue on Bucky’s left side, tasting the salty sweat on the brunet’s back.

“Are you sure?” Steve asks again.

_Just to be clear._

“Yes, yes, just…” Bucky bits down his bottom lip and nods.

“Okay”, Steve says.

The blond pulls his hand out and Bucky whines at the lost contact, he moves to the corner of the bed to reach for the condom he grabbed along with the lube; he opens it with his teeth and rolls it on, hissing when his hands touch his aching hard cock, he squeezes more lube into his hand and stokes himself a few times before he shifts back to Bucky again, the brunet staring at him the whole time. He positions each of his knees next to Bucky’s thighs trapping him between his legs again and rubs the tip of his dick between Bucky’s ass and against his hole.

“Just tell me if you need me to stop”, Steve looks up to meet Bucky’s eyes, the man nods quickly, “c’mon”, Bucky insists moving his hips from side to side eagerly, Steve chuckles.

Steve fists the root of his erection with his right hand and begins to push the head against that beautiful tight spot, his left hand massaging Bucky’s buttock and lower back, Steve is panting through his mouth when he feels Bucky’s muscles contract against him, making the pressure incredible against his cock.

“Fuuuuck”, he whispers under his breath.

He knows he’s more on the larger side under there and that’s why he wanted to prepare Bucky properly; he continues to push inside slowly inch by inch, but when he hears the brunet cry out with his eyes tightly closed he begins to panic, he doesn’t want to hurt Bucky, and if he has to stop, it doesn’t matter he’s going to have blue balls for the rest of the night.

“Buck, are you alright? Let me just…” Steve stands straighter to start to move backwards, he places his hands on Bucky’s waist and begins to rub him up and down.

“Don’t”, Bucky says quickly.

“What?” Steve panics.

“Don’t you dare to pull it out”, the brunet demands, “I’ll kill you, Rogers!” Buck warns.

“It’s not all in, Buck, we can stop”, Steve nods.

“I know, Steve, would you shut up?” Bucky huffs in frustration, “just kiss me”, he says.

“Your wish is my command”, he chuckles leaning forward again.

Steve brings their mouths together at Bucky’s request; the angle is kind of awkward since Bucky has to turn his head to the side to reach him, but Steve couldn’t care any less, he just embraces Bucky into a few more kisses as he continues to push all of his dick into that tight hole, both of them moaning into each other’s mouths during the whole process. When Steve feels his dick is completely buried inside Bucky’s ass, his legs rubbing against those rock hard buttocks, he tries not to move anymore, he doesn’t want to push any further, he just continues kissing Bucky all around his back, shoulders, neck, he sucks Bucky’s earlobes and neck, and licks everything he can reach.

He let Bucky adjust himself to the pressure, when he finally accustoms to it, he begins to shift under Steve, his hips moving against the bed trying to get some sort of friction on his dick.

“Are you ready?” Steve whispers to Bucky’s ear.

“Mmhmm”, Bucky nods, “just move, please”, he says.

Steve leans back again to look down to his cock making Bucky’s hole stretch against it, the sight is sinful and overwhelming, _holy fucking shit_ , he begins to pull out slowly to push back in again, his gaze moves up to Bucky’s face to see any unpleasant shift on his expression. When the blond is comfortable enough to pick up a steady pace, he places his hands on Bucky’s hips to pull him backwards to meet his thrusts as he pushes his lower body forward, the brunet moans and scream loud with pleasure fisting his hands into the blanket under him, it’s music to Steve’s ears, the blond grunts and sighs quietly every time that Bucky screams his name, it sounds so obscene coming out of his mouth while Steve fucks into him.

“Harder, Stevie, fuck me harder”, Bucky begs.

_Those words along with Stevie._

_Oh, fuck!_

And of course, Steve’s happy to oblige, he’s arching his back by now to push his lower body even further into the man spread under him, rolling his hips to push himself even deeper. He leans forward and rests his chest on Bucky’s back, his weight carefully placed as a blanket to Bucky’s body trying not to crush him, he hooks his hands under Bucky’s armpits and holds the man’s fisted hands with his, pushing his dick inside and out. Bucky has the side of his head resting on the pillow while Steve whispers things under his breath to him, sweet things like “you feel so good, baby”, or more dirty like “fuck, you’re so tight”, and Bucky whimpers and moans in response every time he hears Steve’s husky murmurs.

***

_Oh my fucking god!_

If Bucky was to die right then and there, he’s going down happy. Steve was patient and understanding at the beginning, almost annoying to the little of Bucky’s patience, Steve is _fucking_ huge and it did hurt a little when he started to put his _rock hard_ cock inside of him, he felt pain, he did, but it was a good kind of pain and Steve sounded so sincere when he said they could stop, but by no means Bucky wanted to do that. They were doing it now, there was no getting out of this, he just needed some time to adjust and Steve was a complete gentleman about it, kissing Bucky’s neck, stroking his back and whispering soft things to him.

But then, things heated up even more as Steve was completely thrusting in and out of him, hitting Bucky’s prostate every now and then, and Bucky cried and shivered under him, because who will think that Steve Rogers, _Steve fucking Rogers, cute, adorable, apple pie_ Steve would be so hot, and obscene and such an expert in bed, Bucky was sure that he died and went to heaven; if he couldn’t believe how amazing Steve was before, right now, if it wasn’t for Steve’s weight on top of him, he would be sure this was a dream.

As Steve continues to fuck his way inside Bucky talking into Bucky’s ear, the brunet’s face buried into the pillow, Steve’s hands tightly squeezing his, all that Bucky can do is scream Steve’s name over and over again, cry and whimper with the unbelievable pleasure he’s feeling, because really, Steve fucks him like he knows every inch of Bucky’s body, which buttons to push, when to move fast or slow and Bucky’s dick is so aching hard between his legs he feels it’s going to explode any second.

Bucky’s back goes cold when Steve leans backwards again and stands still completely before he kisses Bucky’s glistering back, but then he moves back up again, his fingers scratching Bucky’s sensitive back making his little hairs stick up whit goosebumps. He grabs Bucky’s wrists and says, “let go”, Bucky quickly obeys; the blond puts Bucky’s arms to his sides and holds him tightly, he pulls Bucky’s arms towards him making the bed creak under them with every thrust, Bucky’s head moving back and forth, his legs tightly crossed at the ankles to push his ass up even more. If Bucky thought he couldn’t get any more hard, he was lying to himself, because controlling and dominant Steve is going to drive him mad, he’s sure of it.

“Ste-Steve, I- I…” he whispers with a frown on his face.

_Oh shit, oh fuck!_

“I’m here baby, tell me what you want”, Steve leans in for a kiss, his pace slowing down a bit.

“I… I need…my dick… please”, he manages to say between moans.

Steve pulls out completely and moves backwards and Bucky almost cries with frustration, Steve must have noticed, “I’m here, I just want to look at your pretty face, turn around”, he says.

_Is he for real?_

Bucky feels warm at Steve’s words and does as told, he lays on his back with his legs spread open to make room for the man to lean between them, he folds his legs and rests his feet on the bed. Steve grabs his dick and pushes it inside Bucky again with a groan, Bucky bits his lower lip taking a long look at Steve, his hair and forehead are damp with sweat, his face, neck and chest flushed red and his torso is growing in and out with every breath.

The blond starts to push again, picking up a fast pace; he’s resting on his knees as he thrusts inside of Bucky’s hole, but when he moves his hands from where they were on Bucky’s waist and grabs the brunet’s legs and places each of his heels over his shoulders, Bucky cries, a high pitched scream comes out of his mouth because, _Jesus fucking Christ_ , the change of position is glorious and Steve is hitting his prostate with every push now, Steve looks so concentrated in what he’s doing that makes Bucky swell with emotions.

_I love you; I love you so fucking much._

Bucky wants to say it, wants to scream it out loud in the intimacy of Steve’s room, but this is their first time and after everything that happened the past week, it’s going to drop like a bomb if he does, _it can wait_ ; instead, he closes his eyes and frowns his forehead, moaning and whimpering to prevent those words to come out of his mouth, he just moves his arms up to his head and holds tightly to the headboard as Steve’s movements make the bed bounce against the wall.

“Baby…Bucky… shit”, Steve greets his teeth looking up to the ceiling, exposing his Adam’s apple.

_I wanna kiss it._

Steve holds Bucky’s legs open again and leans forward to kiss his mouth properly as he continues to fuck Bucky fast and hard, but when the blond’s hand travels down to fist Bucky’s forgotten erection, it’s a matter of seconds when he feels the jolt of electricity running through his body, Steve’s thrusts hitting the right spot and the warm contact from his hand is more than enough to set Bucky’s orgasm up to the roof.

“Steve, I’m gonna - I’m…” Bucky cries out loud.

“I’ve got you, baby”, he says, “come for me”, Steve whispers to Bucky’s ear, hot breath against his neck, his voice low and husky.

Steve pumps his dick even faster to match each of his thrusts and Bucky’s abdomen feels tight when he reaches his climax, his eyes roll to the back of his head making him see stars, his toes curling against the soft fabric of the bed covers, his cum starts dripping onto his own belly and Steve’s hand, the blond kissing him hungrily through his whole orgasm.

_Holy shit!_

Steve is close too; Bucky can feel it when his pace becomes uneven and sloppy, the blond breathes out through his nose rapidly, it must have been set off by the muscles of Bucky’s ass contracting against the man’s dick and his body spasms when he had his own orgasm a few seconds ago, his dick is now going soft against his stomach, and Steve whispers Bucky’s name over and over again. Bucky pulls Steve towards him, wrapping his legs and arms around him to keep him in place with the little strength he still has in him, Steve exhales and gasps against Bucky’s neck a few times, hot breath and low voice against his ear, until he moves to his mouth to kiss him as he finishes inside of Bucky, his body going rigid against the brunet’s.

The man kisses him so passionately and lovingly, pouring so much emotion into one chaste kiss that Bucky cries, this time he actually does, a few hot tears escaping through the corners of his eyes, dripping down his face. Everything becomes overwhelming in that moment, the past week was a rollercoaster of emotions.

The first time he was in this very room was a spur of the moment, after they dance at the party, he wanted to be with Steve so badly, both of them were desperate for one another’s touch, he didn’t got any time to process it until the next day and it turned out badly. But right now, in that precise moment, nothing else matters, he doesn’t care about anything or anyone, just Steve and him. Bucky has never felt this way about anybody and in such a short period of time, it’s terrifying really, but at the same time, it’s like he’s free, no one is judging him or telling him what he should or shouldn’t do, he’s just him.

Steve doesn’t notice at the beginning, he’s too busy clearing his mind from his own orgasm as his body goes lax on top of Bucky with his dick still inside Bucky’s ass, his body weight crushing down on him a bit but he doesn’t care at all, he just holds Steve tighter. When Steve’s breathing becomes steadier, he finally looks up; Bucky clearly feels when Steve freezes on top of him in panic, noticing that he’s crying

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Steve asks in concern.

“Nothing, it’s just…” Bucky sighs.

“Why are you crying?” he asks wiping away the tears on Bucky’s cheeks with his thumbs.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” He says, “these are happy tears, I swear”, he adds nodding.

Steve’s eyes get wide at Bucky’s words, and just like that he leans forward for another kiss, hot and sweet at the same time. Bucky has never understood why people would cry with happiness during sex, it’s something he thought as silly and stupid, never wrapped his head around it, sex is something physical and pleasurable, sure, _but emotional_? _Not so much_ , not until now that he can explain what making love feels like, if he can find the right words of course.

_I don’t think there are any, though._

Steve moves after a couple of minutes and Bucky winces a bit when Steve pulls himself out of the brunet, “I’ll be right back”, Steve adds leaning forward and kisses Bucky’s forehead before he walks towards the bathroom, Bucky looks after him happily, a huge smile spreading on his face. Steve returns again with a packet of wet wipes to clean after their mess, he gets closer and rubs Bucky’s belly, making the brunet chuckle at the attention, Steve smirks back as he tosses the dirty wipes into the trash can next to nightstand.

“Come here”, Bucky says with his arms spread wide.

Steve stands there looking at him for a moment, his expression unreadable but it isn’t a bad one, it’s more like he’s trying to process what just happened. He finally moves into the bed and rests his head on Bucky’s shoulder with his arm across the brunet’s chest, Bucky wraps his arm around the man, his fingers treading through those golden strands of hair; they lay in comfortable silence listening to each other’s respirations for a few minutes until Bucky speaks again.

“You were lying”, Bucky says.

“What?” Steve looks up through those long eyelashes of his with confusion written all over his face.

“Earlier, when you said, and I’m quoting you here, that you felt like and idiot you couldn’t control your own body”, Bucky reminds, “you’re not an idiot, and that was complete bullshit, you controlled yourself perfectly fine if you ask me”, Bucky chuckle.

“Well, I guess I did”, Steve laughs back looking down again, his eyelashes fanning out over his cheeks.

_Oh man, this guy, seriously._

“I’m actually surprised with myself that I lasted so much, because you rimming my ass, I must say that…” Bucky starts to explain but Steve shuts him up with his mouth, his soft pink lips pressed against Bucky’s.

It’s Bucky the one that breaks the kiss, hissing against Steve’s mouth, they’re lying in bed naked on a November afternoon, _or is it night?_ Steve has the heating system on but it’s still a little cold in the upper floor and he shivers against the blond.

“Get under the blankets, I’ll go downstairs to check up on Captain and close the curtains, okay?” Steve says standing up from the bed, Bucky nods.

“You still owe me pie, you know”, Bucky reminds, Steve chuckles shaking his head.

“I’ll bring you some”, Steve smirks.

“Good, I don’t think I can stand up at the moment, my body feels like jelly”, Bucky raises an eyebrow at the blond, the man just looks confused at him, “intense hardcore workout, if you know what I mean”, Bucky mutters between his teeth.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Steve sasses.

“I can’t ride my bike, I’ll have to sit on a pillow for a week”, Bucky’s grin grows wider.

“Buckyyyyyy!” Steve whines, his cheeks going red at Bucky’s comment.

“I’m serious, too hardcore, I’m not talking just music”, Bucky laughs loudly to his own joke.

“I’m sorry?” Steve says with a cheeky smiled, not actual regret on his tone.

“Don’t be, it was great, it was perfect, you’re perfect”, Bucky says, Steve’s cheeks kept blushing.

“No, you are”, Steve leans in to kiss Bucky again, he cups the brunet’s face with his left hand, his right hand brushing Bucky’s hair out of the way, and again, the kiss is sweet, sincere and warm, the kind of kiss that makes Bucky feel lightheaded and head over heels for this man, and as usual, Steve gives a tiny peck to Bucky’s lips before he leans back and moves around the room.

***

Steve goes to the dresser to pull out a pair of sweats and shirts, he puts on the clothes and tosses the other towards the bed for Bucky to wear, he moves through his room and glances over his shoulder to notice Bucky moving under the covers on his bed, the blond smiles to himself walking towards the door.

“I’ll be right back with your pie”, Steve says over his shoulder.

“Mmmhm”, Bucky hums happily.

He couldn’t believe when he saw Bucky crying, Steve felt bad instantly, thinking he did something wrong, until Bucky noticed he was confused and clarified they were happy tears and after a long time, he felt comfortable to say that Bucky is here to stay, Steve’s insecurities flied out the window when Bucky smiled wide at him behind hooded eyelids.

Now facing the front door, noticing it’s properly locked; he closes the living room curtains and moves to the kitchen where Captain is chewing happily on a bone. Steve kneels down to pet him behind his ears for a few seconds, he checks the food and water plates of his four legged friend and fills them up to the top. He locks the back door properly and closes the little curtains on the kitchen window, and then pulls out a pair of plates from the counter to serve two slices of pie, and shifts to the fridge to pour some milk in to glasses, he places them on a food tray to carry them upstairs; he manages to turn off the lights with his elbow carefully maneuvering the tray on his hands.

“Have a good night, buddy”, he says to Captain who’s now moving in circles to get comfortable on his bed.

He goes up the stairs carefully and turns off the light of the small hall in the upper floor, with his elbow again. Steve smiles wide as soon as he enters his room, Bucky is already nested on his bed, all the blankets making him look small on the king size mattress, but he’s peering with his grey-blue eyes over them to meet Steve’s gaze.

“I brought food”, Steve announces cheerfully lifting the tray, and Bucky moves up to support his back against the headboard.

“Yayyyy”, Bucky smiles happily.

Steve places the tray on the middle of the bed and sits with his legs crossed and his back hunched and picks one of the plates, offering it to Bucky, the brunet takes it instantly. Steve starts eating his pie staring down at it the whole time until he hears an exaggerated moan coming out from Bucky’s mouth.

“Damn, this is too good”, Bucky passes his tongue around his lips hungrily.

“I’m glad you like it”, Steve shrugs.

They continue munching on the pie after until it’s nothing but a few crumbs on the plates and empty glasses, Steve stands up to put the tray away before he gets inside the bed.

He lifts the covers to get under them, “hurry, it’s freezing”, Bucky whines from where he’s lying down again, the blond just chuckles sitting next to him, then he wiggles his body to make himself comfortable and hisses when Bucky rubs his feet against his own.

“Your feet are cold”, Steve scrunches his nose at him.

“I know, it’s kinda chilly”, Bucky frowns his lips.

Steve moves his right arm and Bucky takes the hint right away, lifting his head to allow the blond to put it under him and use it as a pillow, Bucky’s right arm flies across the blond’s chest, and Steve massages Bucky’s scalp with his hand, mirroring the previous position before Steve went down for the pie; they lay like that for a few minutes and Steve thought for a second that Bucky had fallen sleep until he speaks again.

“I met Carol Danvers, back in Boston”, Bucky comments looking up to meet Steve’s eyes.

“Really?” Steve smiles warmly.

“Yeah, it’s great what you’ve done for her, she’s very fond of you”, Bucky says.

“What did she told you?” he wonders.

“She explained me the overall of her story, that you’re like her dorky older brother”, Bucky smirks and Steve laughs ruffling the brunet’s hair.

“Yeah”, he sighs, “she’s been through a lot, I’m glad she’s doing better now”, Steve hums.

“Thanks to you”, Bucky lifts his head and gives Steve a little kiss on his cheek rubbing the blond’s broad chest.

“Nah, it’s all her, I just listened”, Steve holds Bucky tighter against his chest.

“You can say whatever you want, but I know she wouldn’t be where she is if it wasn’t for you being there for her”, Bucky says looking Steve right in the eyes, the blond smiles shyly, his cheeks burning under his eyelashes.

Bucky looks down again and nuzzles against Steve’s chest making him giggle a bit when he brushes Steve’s ribs. After that, Steve reaches to his right side to set the alarm clock and turns off the light on the nightstand, they hug and snuggle against each other zoning out to try to get some sleep, Steve’s body feeling impossibly relax, making his bed feel like a marshmallow under him.

Minutes pass and Bucky whispers, “Steve?”

“Mmhm?” He hums.

“I’m really glad that I found you again”, Bucky says.

“Me too, baby”, Steve kisses the top of Bucky’s head.

“Good night, Stevie”, Bucky sighs deeply.

“Good night, Buck”, Steve mumbles.

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be a completely honest here and say I was really nervous about posting this, I keep reading it and feel like something is missing or maybe it's just me, either way, I hope you liked it, and if you did, let me know, even if you think it's cheesy :)
> 
> Imma give you guys a small break after this roller coaster of emotions, I'm not gonna be posting a new chapter during this week and let you guys rest for a bit, but that doesn't mean I'm not around to answer your comments and questions, but I assure that next week we'll have a few chapters including lots of fluff, just because these two and you deserve it <3
> 
> Thanks for being around and have a good and pleasant week, be safe :D


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <333

Steve wakes up and he can’t feel his left arm, he opens his eyes slowly to see the big mess of brown hair in front of him, Bucky has his head on top of Steve’s arm using it as a pillow, Steve doesn’t dare to move it, he tries to take a peek back over his shoulder to see what time it is but he can’t see without moving his body too much so he abandons the idea. He’s spooning Bucky comfortably, the brunet fitting perfectly in front of him; he tightens his grip around Bucky’s waist and brings him impossibly closer to him, Bucky’s back against his broad chest. 

He remembers the last couple of times that Bucky slept on his bed, he had woken up the next day to a cold side, but this time he’s the one to wake up first and it makes him feel warm inside, not because he’s with another body on his bed, but because this isn’t just anybody, this is Bucky, his Bucky.

The blond nuzzles against the back of Bucky’s neck and concentrates on going back to sleep but fails as soon as he feels Bucky shifting a bit, “I need to breathe, you know”, Bucky says after a yawn, his voice groggy and low.

“No, you don’t”, Steve jokes, kissing the back of Bucky’s head, “I don’t want you to go this time”, he whispers.

“I’m never leaving again”, Bucky says rubbing the back of Steve’s right hand.

“You promise?” Steve asks.

“I promise”, Bucky nods. Steve loosens his grip around Bucky and the brunet turns around to face him, their legs entangled around each other’s.

 _And oh boy_ , this moment right here, it makes Steve feel like the happiest man on earth.

“Good morning”, Steve says brushing Bucky’s hair away from his face.

“Morning”, Bucky looks up and kisses Steve’s cheek, “how come you always look incredible? Even in the morning, it’s not fair”, Bucky says scrunching his nose.

Steve’s cheeks turn pink at Bucky’s comment, Steve is glad that not a lot of light is coming through the curtains and Bucky doesn’t notice he's blushing. _It’s funny how the human brain works, isn’t it?_ Steve can be bold and demanding if he’s about to have sex, but a compliment? _Oh no!_ His body feels heavy and burns with embarrassment, it’s something that’s always been a part of him and he knows it won’t go away, but at least he’s been learning how to take it.

“What are you thinking?” Bucky asks breaking Steve’s train of thoughts; Steve shakes his head when he realizes he’s just been staring at Bucky.

“Nothing in particular, did you sleep well?” He asks trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, you?” Bucky wonders.

“Yes”, Steve kisses Bucky’s cheek this time and the brunet hums happily in response.

Steve continues planting kisses along Bucky’s jaw and cheeks, when he’s about to move to his mouth Bucky places a hand over his lips and Steve ends up kissing the back of it instead.

“Morning breath, you don’t want to do that”, Bucky shakes his head.

“Yes, I do, I couldn’t care any less about morning breath”, Steve laughs placing his right hand on the side of Bucky’s neck and crashes their lips together, his thumb slightly stroking his cheek under his micro-dermals as he usually does. It isn’t the best of tastes, but it’s not bad either, just a tad sour or somewhat bitter but he doesn’t mind, and Bucky seems not to mind either as he returns the kiss right away.

He continues to suck on Bucky’s lips, pulling at the man’s piercing while Bucky opens his mouth even more to shove his tongue inside Steve’s mouth, Steve loves biting Bucky’s lower lip because the brunet makes the tiniest whimpers on the back of his throat every time, Bucky’s fingers carding on those blond strands of hair, pulling slightly when Steve moves his leg in between Bucky’s and begins to rub Bucky’s dick with his thigh, the other man opens his mouth to give Steve more room.

Bucky’s hand travels under Steve’s shirt rubbing gently around his navel, abs and ribs, Steve’s mouth moves to Bucky’s shoulder and kisses that spot he knows perfectly well by now that drives Bucky mad, right under his ear on the side of his neck where his jawline ends, then he moves further down and sucks the crook of the brunet’s neck, Bucky moans against Steve’s ear, that sweet voice of his making Steve hard inside his sweatpants.

They’re rocking their hips against each other’s legs for friction, their erections growing harder while their mouths suck and kiss everything in reach, their hands pulling hairs and stroking exposed skin, that until the _cockblock_ alarm goes off. Steve breaks the kiss and leans back to turn the _goddamn_ thing off while Bucky huffs like a child.

“We have to get up, I don’t wanna be late for work”, Steve says trying to catch a breath.

“What time is it?” Bucky asks annoyed, his lips red and puffy from being kissed passionately.

“It’s 7:30”, Steve informs with a nod.

“What?!” Bucky yells.

“I have to do my gym bag, shower and all”, Steve comments as he returns to his previous position lying on his side facing Bucky.

“You’re your own boss, your official entry is at 10:30, besides you’re not going to the gym, doctor’s orders”, Bucky reminds with an exaggerated roll on his eyes.

“He said I can do a little bit of exercise”, Steve nods with a proud smile.

“The only work out you’re gonna be doing is with me”, Bucky gives him a cheeky smile and Steve shakes his head laughing, “Stevieeeeeee, it’s too early”, Bucky yammers shaking Steve’s shoulder.

_I guess I can take some extra time._

“So, it’s too early for this?” Steve lifts an eyebrow at Bucky, his hand traveling down between them and to rub Bucky’s dick over his pants.

“No, not for that”, Bucky chuckles before he bites down his bottom lip and tilts his head backwards 

Steve pushes the blankets a bit and shifts back to take off his shirt, he pulls Bucky’s sweatpants by the ankles as quick as he can manage, the brunet does his shirt and chuckles the whole time while they’re desperately removing their clothes. Steve is moving his pants down to his knees when Bucky pulls him forward between his legs, Steve reacts by placing his hands on each side of Bucky’s head to prevent his body from crushing him.

The position makes the muscles of his back contract against his skin, exposing every single one of them, Bucky runs his hands up and down his back and stops on Steve’s ass squeezing gently, the brunet’s legs wrapped around Steve’s waist while the blond continues kissing Bucky’s neck, chest and shoulders.

***

_Morning sex, yes!_

Steve begins to suck Bucky’s nipples, putting extra attention to each of them, sucking them to fiddle with his piercings and Bucky shivers and whimpers in return while his nails dig at the muscles on Steve’s back. Their dicks are rubbing against one another’s, mixing their pre-cum and sweat together, it’s hot and arousing and Bucky finds himself moaning even more when Steve breathes and gasps against his neck.

Bucky’s hand travels down to fist Steve’s hard erection and the blond does the same, pumping Bucky’s dick fast while he fucks the brunet’s hand with every thrust.

“Oh Steve, just like that”, he whispers tilting his head back further into the pillow.

“Baby, you’re so hot”, Steve says into Bucky’s ear making him tremble with goosebumps all over his skin.

Hands moving up and down with the slickness of their pre-cum, mouths sucking and kissing, tongues licking and teeth biting; Bucky’s head is buried in the pillow under him while his hand yanks at that soft golden hair on Steve’s head, exposing his throat with every pull while his other hand continues to jerk off Steve’s dick.

Steve let go of Bucky’s cock and moves his hand down further and begins to massage Bucky’s testicles, rubbing them slightly with his fingers, his touch gentle and warm, cupping them on his hand gently trying not to crush them, and it makes Bucky shiver even more. Bucky’s starts circling his thumb around the slit on Steve’s wet dick, the rest of his fingers holding the head tight on his fist, and that seems to work out perfectly, the blond tilts his head backwards again while a silent moan escapes his throat.

He continues to move his fingers around the head of Steve’s cock while the other man strokes Bucky’s dick alternating the speed, his fist closed just enough moving fast up and down or his grip tighter moving slowly with a twist at the end. That’s enough for Bucky, Steve’s hands on him while his mouth kisses Bucky’s chest, that hot jolt growing inside of him, he finishes fast with a scream coming out of his mouth while he tries to keep his hand moving around Steve’s cock. And it’s like Steve was just waiting for Bucky to come because the guy follows suit right away moving his hips to fuck Bucky’s hand fast and hot.

Steve kisses him during their orgasms just like he did the night before, and that’s Bucky’s new favorite thing, Steve’s mouth on his while he comes thanks to this _unbelievable_ man on top of him.

They take a couple of minutes to even out their breathings, Steve spread between Bucky’s legs and over his chest, cum drying on their stomachs, _but who gives a fuck anyway?_ Bucky would give up on everything he owns just that this could be the rest of his life, waking up next to Steve every day and see his million dollar smile with his hair all over the place, eyes blue as the sky looking at Bucky like he’s worth everything and even more, and really, what was his life like before he met Steve Rogers?

“I think we need to shower”, Steve chuckles, his chest rumbling against Bucky’s.

“That’s a good idea”, Bucky smiles scratching the back of Steve’s neck.

“Who goes first?” Steve asks.

“We should save water and shower together”, Bucky suggests with smirk.

“Wow, you’re such an environmentalist now”, Steve comments sarcastically.

“C’mooooooon”, Bucky insists pulling Steve’s ear a little.

“Fineeeeee”, Steve gives in.

After that, they stand up sadly to begin their day, Steve moves to the closet to pull out clean clothes for them to wear while Bucky opens the water spray and sets up the right temperature. When Steve comes into the bathroom, Bucky stares at him through the reflection on the mirror: his hair is disheveled, his cheeks and the tip of his ears pink, the bruising on his ribs doesn’t look so angry as it did a few weeks ago but he has new marks thanks to Bucky, his teeth all over the man’s neck and shoulders and a few other around his hips, the red and purple contrasting against his pale white skin, _and lets not forget to mention the scratches on his back._ He doesn’t know if Steve minds those being visible or not, he didn’t say anything the first time but, _what if he does mind?_ When the moment is hot and in progress you don’t stop to think about those things, _right?_

“What?” Steve frowns, he must have picked up the concern on Bucky’s face.

“You don’t mind?” Bucky wonders, Steve stares back at him unaware of what Bucky is talking about, “the scratches and hickeys, I mean”, Bucky points towards Steve’s chest.

Steve’s mouth forms an ‘O’ as soon as he takes a good look at himself in the mirror and notices what Bucky means, he stares from the mirror and back down at himself a few times without saying anything and Bucky is starting to feel anxious about it.

“I only do it because I want people to know you’re someone’s, not that you’re an object or something to own, but I want them to know you’re mine, just mine, like I’m just yours, but I can stop doing it if you want me to”, Bucky takes a step to his side to close the distance between them, Steve is looking down at the floor trying to process Bucky’s words, but he finally looks up when Bucky places his hands on each side of Steve’s neck.

“I don’t mind, baby”, Steve smiles warmly with those beautiful lips of his, “you have some too”, he pokes Bucky collarbone and the brunet chuckles in response.

“I don’t mind either”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder.

“Besides, they let me now that I’m doing things right”, Steve wiggles his eyebrows jokingly, and Bucky blushes, _for real_ , not many things make him feel flustered or worked up, the same way he doesn’t cry during sex either, but apparently that’s something easy for Steve to make him do.

_And yes, he does it so damn well._

“We should get in, the water is running”, Steve reminds, “not such an environmentalist after all”, he jokes before he places a hand on the small of Bucky’s wrists and crashes their mouths together one more time before they slide into the shower to clean themselves.

They manage to shower without touching each other’s private parts, although it’s too _damn_ hard, Bucky just wants to put his mouth or hands on Steve every time his gaze lowers to Steve’s beautiful crotch, he keeps to himself but his dick does twitch when Steve moans softly while Bucky helps him clean his hair, or when he gasps as Bucky rubs his back to get rid of the soap, because apparently, Steve likes to be touched, _a lot_. The blond flinches sometimes when Bucky’s hands touch him, like he’s not accustomed by being touched too much, and Bucky understands just fine and keeps his touch gentle against Steve’s pale and sensitive skin.

Steve returns the favor and Bucky also moans while biting down his bottom lip when he feels Steve’s fingertips massaging his scalp, or his fingers moving across his neck and back with the slightest amount of pressure that makes Bucky’s legs feel like jelly, his knees growing weak under him, he supports his body with his hands against the cold tile of the bathroom walls, Steve chuckles in success.

“I don’t know where I left my brace last night”, Bucky says as they’re putting their boxers on, he doesn’t have any of his clothes in Steve’s house, but apparently Steve doesn’t seem to care if he wears his, _even underwear_ , that luckily are stretchy and fitted enough that he wont drown in them. He figures he can get away with wearing the same jeans since he grabbed a clean pair the day before, he leaves Steve in the bathroom to put the rest of his clothes on and the brunet goes into the room to find his forgotten jeans.

“I think it’s downstairs”, Steve comments.

Bucky cuts the air with his fist in success when he finds his jeans by the door of the room, he puts them on and walks towards the bathroom again but stops right outside the door when he notices that on a brown single couch chair, right next to a cushion, there’s a teddy bear, _the_ teddy bear that Bucky won when they went all those weeks ago to Coney Island, _when we kissed for the first time._

“You still have this?” Bucky asks lifting the stuffed animal from the couch running his fingers through the soft fabric of its outfit.

Steve peeks his head out of the bathroom to see what Bucky is talking about and frowns, “why wouldn’t I? You gave it to me”, he says.

“Yeah, but I kinda fucked up afterwards and I don’t know… I thought you wouldn’t keep it”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder looking down at the teddy bear.

“Hey…” Steve whispers drawing Bucky’s attention back up, the man takes a couple of steps forward to move into Bucky’s space and places his hands on the brunet’s shoulders, “you didn’t fucked up, Bucky, you’re here now, I don’t care about what happened before”, Steve says looking straight into Bucky’s eyes, that look that makes Bucky’s body feel like he’s over a cloud.

“You really don’t care?” Bucky fiddles with his lip piercing as he normally does when he’s nervous.

“No, I don’t”, Steve assures.

Bucky launches his arms at Steve’s neck to hug him tightly and smiles wide against the other man’s collarbone, the teddy bear still in one hand, Steve returns the hug wrapping his hands around Bucky’s waist.

***

Steve holds Bucky close to his chest until he feels the brunet’s body relax against his own, because for once, he doesn’t care he’s a few minutes late on his schedule, _Bucky’s worth it_. They smile wide at each other for a few seconds when they finally lean back, Steve moves to the bathroom again to brush his hair, he takes a quick look to their reflections in the mirror, the way Bucky looks right now is the complete opposite to Steve.

Bucky’s chest is still bare but he has his jeans on, his skin slightly tanned where Steve’s is white and pale, they both have athletic and muscular bodies but Steve being a few inches taller and wider makes him look bigger, Bucky just has a full sleeve tattoo on his left arm where Steve has both of his arms with no clear skin left, along with the ink on his broad chest, Bucky’s jaw is covered with hairs and Steve’s is neatly shaved, Bucky’s hair is dark brown and long while his head is covered with blond and short hair.

They look so different but they are so alike at the same time, like those cheesy couples sayings: the yin to my yang, the moon to my sun, the winter to my summer, the ice to my fire, the black to my white, the cold to my heat, the night to my day, the sand to my ocean, the orange to my blue, the stars to my dessert and many, _many_ other things that complement each other, _it’s stupid, it’s corny, but it’s true._

“What are you looking at?” Bucky asks looking back at him through their reflections.

“I was just looking at you, am I not allowed?” Steve lifts his eyebrows.

“Yeah, you are, it’s just…you looked really thoughtful for a minute”, Bucky smirks.

“I think sometimes”, Steve jokes shrugging his shoulders casually and Bucky chuckles in return, “let’s get downstairs before it’s too late”, he adds.

“Okay, I still have to find my brace”, Bucky reminds.

“I’ll find it”, Steve says and places the hairbrush in Bucky’s hand before he leaves the bathroom.

“What is this? I do not know this artifact!” Bucky laughs.

“You sound like Thor!” Steve yells over his shoulder with a chuckle, walking towards the door of his room.

He moves downstairs to receive a big jump from a happy dog, “good morning, buddy, how was your night?” Steve asks with a grin while he scratches the back of Captain’s ears, the dog tries to lick Steve’s face but he moves back a bit to avoid getting his face slimy.

The blond opens the curtains on the living room and walks around the couch picking the forgotten pieces of clothing they left there the night before, the pit of his stomach feels hot and his cheeks burning as he remembers the events from the previous day, “found it”, Steve shouts when he spots Bucky’s shoulder brace over the backrest of the loveseat.

“Yayyyyyy!” he hears Bucky yell in success while he stomps his way down the stairs, “gimme”, Bucky lifts his open right hand and Steve tosses the brace at him across the living room, Bucky catches it in the air easily and kneels to pet Captain, “you’re such a good boy, all cute with your sweater”, Bucky smiles at the dog.

_I can get use to this._

“Bucky, for how long are you planning to stay in D.C.? I mean, I don’t want to leave Captain alone for too much, and I don’t know if the Morales have plans”, Steve says.

“He can come with us”, Bucky says still looking down at Captain, “my parents’ house has a big patio, they have a dog too, he’s friendly and I know that Captain won’t be a problem”, Bucky explains, “right, Cap?” Bucky asks the dog smiling at him.

“Bucky, it’s your parents’ house, I don’t want to impose anything”, Steve shakes his head.

Bucky stands up and begins to put on his brace on without a problem, he turns around and Steve walks towards him to help him with the Velcro on the back before Bucky puts on a t-shirt, _my_ _shirt_ , and turns around again to face him, “Stevie, you’re not imposing, that’s my house too, but I can call my parents to let them know, if that makes you feel more comfortable”, Bucky offers.

“Okay”, Steve whispers shyly.

Bucky pecks Steve’s lips before he moves to the kitchen to pull out the gallon of orange juice from the fridge with one hand, his cellphone against his ear holding it with the other. Steve follows Bucky and places some bread on the toaster; while he waits for the bread, he does some quick cheese and ham omelets, Bucky multitasks pouring the juice into two glasses and talking on the phone.

“Good morning to you too, Winifred”, Bucky laughs, “yes, mom and no, I’m not at work yet”, he said after a big gulp of his juice.

“Yeah, I’m at his house actually”, the brunet smiles at Steve handing him the glass of juice, “I already told him, ma, he’s going, relax, woman”, he chuckles.

“My mom says she’s glad you’re going”, Bucky whispers against his hand placed over his phone.

“I’m glad she invited me”, Steve smiles with a nod; Bucky huffs with a roll on his eyes and throws a wave at Steve, the blond giggles.

“Steve says that he’s glad you invited him”, Bucky says, “I know! He’s so sweet, right?” the brunet winks at Steve.

_I’m dreaming, I’m still dreaming._

“Hey, mom”, Bucky takes a gulp of his juice before he continues, “Steve has a dog, and I told him he can come with us too, so I was just calling to make sure it’s okay”, he offers Steve another smile, “I know, that’s what I said”, Bucky nods even though his mother can’t see him, “anyway, I have to go, I gotta get ready for work, ma”, Bucky informs.

Steve places the omelets on the plates and moves them to the table along with some napkins and silverware; he puts the toast on another plate and grabs it along with the gallon of orange juice and shifts back to the table.

“I’m excited too, mom, say hi to my dad and Becks for me, see ya soon”, the brunet says, “love you too, bye”, Bucky smiles as he hangs up, walking towards the table where Steve is sitting.

“As I told you, no problem at all”, the man smirks.

“Okay, but if we’re taking Captain I’m gonna rent a car, I don’t want him in a cage”, Steve comments.

“Fine, let me pay for it”, Bucky offers with a shrug on his shoulders.

“No, I’ll pay, it’s okay”, Steve nods, Bucky places his right hand over Steve’s left to draw his attention over his food.

“At least let me pay for the gas”, the brunet squeezes his hand.

“Fineeeee”, Steve whines.

“Perfect, so you’re okay with driving?” Bucky asks.

“Yes, F.Y.I. I do know how to drive a car, besides it’s only what? Like 4 hours?” he grabs Bucky’s hand and lifts it to his lips to place a soft kiss on the brunet’s knuckles.

“I know you do, and yes”, he chuckles, “it’s settled then”, Bucky smiles wide.

They finish their breakfast quickly, it’s past ten by now, it takes Steve about 20 minutes to drive to the shop, and it’s possible he might be there a few minutes late, but at the moment when Bucky is looking at him with those piercing gray-blue eyes and a huge grin on his face it’s like the time stops and he doesn’t want to move.

_I wish._

Steve and Bucky go upstairs again to put on their winter wear since it’s probably freezing out there. He does the bed with freshly clean sheets, they wash their teeth again, Bucky claiming one of the spare toothbrushes the blond keeps in the guest’s bathroom. Steve grabs his keys, wallet and phone and they move to the first floor again, Bucky puts on a beanie that was inside his bag along with some fingerless gloves, he’s wearing his jeans and leather jacket but everything else is Steve’s.

“You’re not using your bike?” Steve asks when they’re finally getting out of the house.

“I told you I wouldn’t be able to”, Bucky smirks playfully.

“I thought you were kidding”, Steve frowns his eyebrows.

“Steve, don’t worry, you didn’t hurt me”, Bucky closes the distance between them with a small step and cups Steve’s face on his hands, making the blond look at him in the eyes, “it’s just that it’s been a while since I had sex and figured it would be kinda uncomfortable”, he says.

And Steve’s cheeks feel like they’re on fire under his eyelashes, _blushing virgin they say_ , but Steve just can’t seem to stop blushing around Bucky even though he’s no virgin, “you’re so fucking gorgeous, you know that?” Bucky smiles wide, the tip of his tongue between his teeth in the most adorable way. Bucky strokes Steve’s red cheeks with his cold thumbs a few times before Steve leans forward and plants a kiss on Bucky’s lips, he tastes like mint, fresh and windy from the autumn air, it’s perfect like all the kisses they share and Steve really hopes that this can last forever.

_I just can’t get enough of this guy._

“I’ll text you during the day, okay?” Bucky strokes Steve’s back while he locks the front door.

“Sure, you know when my lunch hour is, you can call me”, Steve turns around and starts walking down the little stairs and towards his motorcycle.

“Have a good day, handsome”, the brunet smiles.

“You too, baby”, Steve says back with a grin of his own.

***

_Uuuuugghhhh, I can’t with this man._

Bucky replays everything on the back of his mind as he walks towards the bus stop that will take him to the subway and on his way back to reality, he misses his job, he does, it’s not bad and he obviously needs to eat.

Steve’s words echo inside his head along with the music coming out of his earphones, the events from the night before and this morning making his skin shiver with goosebumps at the hot memories. He didn’t planed on going to Steve’s house for sex, he just wanted to assure Steve that he’s there to stay, that he wants the same things, and make him feel that he can also count on Bucky if he needs to, _talk to him but also listen, let him lead, Natasha said._

When Steve started to explained what happened on Friday and the previous days, Bucky wanted to scream so hard that he was sure that if he did he was going to spit fire, Steve has been nothing but understanding, caring and patient to Bucky and he just keeps screwing things over and over, and yet Steve said he doesn’t mind as long as Bucky is there with him. Bucky was already head over heels for Steve, but now he’s sure that he wants to fight with everything he has to make this work.

The main receptionist greets him with a warm smile as she always does as soon as he enters the Stark Tower, the warm air coming out from the doors clashing against his cold skin, he hums is way up to the elevator to the rhythm of ‘Year One’ by America Nightmare/Give Up The Ghost, drumming his fingers on the small rail on the elevator while he waits to arrive on his floor.

People smile and welcome him back as he walks to his office; he takes off his jacket and scarf and places them on the rack on the corner, he ruffles his hair a bit after he puts the beanie back inside his bag, then he sits down behind his desk and logs into his computer to check his emails and the week’s newsletter, something that Bucky does every time he arrives at the office.

He doesn’t have too much work since he did the past week’s projects in advance, and he’s glad that he’s going to be able to work fast on the new assignments since he’s going to D.C. for a few days to visit his family, _and Steve is going._

“Cyborg! I’m so happy you’re back, help me!” Tony says leaning against the doorframe.

“I’m glad to hear you missed me”, Bucky chuckles not looking away from the computer.

“You have no idea, nobody in here is funny”, the man with the goatee huffs.

“And what am I, your clown?” Bucky finally looks up to meet the man’s eyes, Tony looks, _well_ … like Tony always looks after working long hours in a laboratory: dark circles under his eyes, his hair disheveled, some long sleeved shirt under a band t-shirt, jeans with oil stains and grease smudged all over his hands and face.

“At least I can laugh at you moping about Steve”, Tony shrugs a shoulder walking towards a chair in front of Bucky’s desk.

“I won’t mop anymore, you’ll have to find another entertainment source”, Bucky smirks.

“Why? Steve and you no good?” Tony frowns his lips, “wait a second, what is that?” he asks with wide eyes.

“What?” Bucky wonders.

“That in your neck, I guess tour went on well, eh?” Tony wiggles his eyebrows at him.

Bucky places a hand over his neck and rubs the side of it with his fingertips, he’s about to check his reflection on the computer screen when he remembers he has a few bite marks on the crook of his neck, _that’s what Tony is talking about_ , “I forgot I had this”, Bucky chuckles.

“Who’s the lucky guy? What about Steve, is he back in the market?” Tony asks.

“One: you ask to many questions, two: is none of your business”, Bucky lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Oh c’mon, Buckynator, tell meeeee”, Tony yammers, “or better, I’ll try to guess, you just say yes or no, deal?” the man nods once.

“Sure, why not?” Bucky leans back on his chair crossing his arms over his chest, “you have 5 tries”, he offers.

“Fine, I’m guessing you had sex recently, I don’t think this was just making out, right?” Tony wonders.

“Yes, you’re right”, Bucky nods.

“I’m always right”, Tony adds and Bucky rolls his eyes at him.

“Okay, you had sex… was it a stranger?” Tony questions.

“Noup”, Bucky shakes his head.

“It would’ve been pretty hot if he was though”, Tony smirks pretending to think about his next question, “so you knew the guy, was it the man that was in your pictures on Facebook, the Greek looking guy with the speedo?” Tony wonders.

“Namor? Ew, no, as if, not interested, thank you!” he laughs, “he’s a childhood friend, not interested in men by the way”, Bucky informs.

“Does Steve know?” Tony asks but this time his expression is serious.

“What? About Namor?” He asks in confusion with his eyebrows knit together.

“No, loser, does Steve knows you fucked a guy, or that a guy fucked you, whatever it was?” Tony clarifies.

“Ohhh”, Bucky chuckles, _this is going to kill him_ , “yes, he knows”, Bucky says casually.

“What? He does? Are you stupid or something? What did he said? Tell me!” Tony demands, his fingertips taping the desk.

“This is your last question Tony, choose wisely”, Bucky reminds pointing a finger at the man.

“Shit…” Tony hisses under his breath, “hmm, Steve told you to fuck yourself after he found out?” he asks unsure, Bucky lifts his eyebrows at him but doesn’t respond.

“No, wait, hold on…” Tony says, like the screws and gears inside his head are trying to process all the words, “I asked if Steve knows you fucked a guy and you said yes, but I didn’t said another guy, and you said yes when I asked if he knows, you fucking cheater!” Tony yells.

“Why? You said answer yes or no, I didn’t lie”, Bucky chuckles.

“Of course he fucking knows, he did this to you, didn’t he?” Tony nods and Bucky can’t help the grin that begins to spread on his face.

“Damn, you’ve got skills, kid”, he says, “you actually succeeded”, the man smirks, “that’s pretty fucking hot, I never took him for a biter, though”, Tony adds.

“Well, there’s a lot of things about Steve you don’t know, and you never will”, Bucky gives him a cheeky smile.

“Boo, you whore!” Tony says and Bucky laughs at the quote, “is he your boyfriend now?” he wonders.

“We’re getting there”, Bucky informs proudly, “about that, I won’t be in town for the weekend, _Steve and me_ are going to D.C. for Thanksgiving”, he comments with a warm smile, emphasizing the ‘Steve and me’.

“To meet the parents, uuuuuuhhhh, this is serious”, Tony lifts an eyebrow.

“Yes, I know we joke a lot about this, but I really do like him Tony, you have no idea”, Bucky assures.

“Oh I do, believe me, every time when you talk about him or see him or even if someone mentions his name you make this googly heart eyes, you look like a cartoon”, Tony chuckles, “but hey, I’m glad is working out for you”, he brushes his legs as he stands up, out of habit because there isn’t any wrinkles to smooth out.

“Thanks, Tony”, he smiles kindly.

“Don’t tell anybody I said that, this emotional crap wears me out, I need a drink!” Tony stretches his arms over his head.

“Tony, is not even noon”, Bucky reminds.

“Exactly, more time to drink”, he waves a hand over his shoulder while he walks towards the door and out of Bucky’s office, Bucky rolls his eyes at Tony’s comment.

***

“OH MY GOD, BOSSSSSSSSS!” Darcy yells running towards him as soon as he enters the shop, she embraces him into a _suffocating_ hug.

“Hey, Darce”, Steve chokes placing a hand on her back.

“Steve, I’m so glad you’re doing better, I almost passed out when Nat told me”, she says against his neck, her grip growing tighter around Steve’s chest.

“I kinda need to breathe, Darcy”, he suffocates.

“Steve, tell me you’re okay, what happened?” She wonders in a softer voice, and finally let go of Steve’s body but keeps her hand on his shoulder.

“I assure you I’m fine, it was just an accident, don’t worry about it”, he nods once and walks to the corner of the lobby to put his coat on the hanger.

“Not to worry?” she yells, “How can you say that? I got a call from Nat at almost 1 in the morning telling me you were at the hospital, you freaked me the fuck out!” Darcy exclaims.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to”, Steve whispers looking down at his hands.

“I know you didn’t, listen…” she sighs to calm herself before she continues, “I’m sorry I yelled at you, I’m glad you’re okay”, the girl says, “I noticed something was off during the week and I should’ve said something”, she comments, “I just want you to know that you can count on me if you need to”, Darcy smiles at him.

“I know Darcy, thank you, this wasn’t anyone’s fault”, he shakes his head, “I guess I freaked myself out too, it won’t happen again”, Steve smiles back.

“Anywayyyyyy”, she bumps her shoulder into his, _more like into my arm_ , “did you saw youuuuu- HOOOOLLY SHIT, WHAT IS THAT?!” She shouts with wide eyes before her mouth hangs slightly open in surprise, her finger pointing at Steve’s collar.

“It’s nothing Darcy, just let it go”, Steve’s cheeks blush at the attention, trying to get away from Darcy’s curious hands.

“Steeeeeven, what would your mother say about this?” She teases wiggling her eyebrows.

“She would probably say ‘mind your own business, young lady’”, Steve says in a mocking voice shaking his index finger from side to side up in the air and Darcy chuckles at his attempt of impersonating his ma’.

“I could totally hear her say something like that”, Darcy laughs some more.

“My dear friend, we were concerned about your well being!” The little bell from the front door goes off as Thor walks inside beaming at him, Loki on his heels. The long haired blond embraces Steve into a huge quick hug before he leans back again and taps Steve’s shoulder, “I spoke to our fellow Sam who explained the situation, I am pleased to see you are doing better”, Thor nods.

“You should have listened to my lady Darcy, ranting and mumbling about your excessive work hours the week prior”, Loki smirks.

“Yeah, I kinda went overkill with that”, Steve chuckles bitterly.

“Not anymore, I don’t care if Thor and my cupcake have to help me drag you out”, Darcy points her index finger at him.

“I am not a pastry!” Loki crosses his hands over his chest.

“Well, you’re pretty edible to me”, Darcy mumbles between her teeth and Loki chokes in a laugh.

“I do not intend to keep listening about this”, Thor says walking away, “I am joyful to have you back, my friend Steven”, the man says over his shoulder.

“Some of us have duties to attend, if you excuse me”, Loki says to Darcy with a playful smile, _it’s still weird to see him smile_ , Loki kisses the back of Darcy’s hand and does a small reverence before he walks to the back too.

“So, about my working hours”, Steve says while the girl moves to the back of the counter to turn on the computer, “how are we with the appointments? After missing my Saturday’s, I mean”, he asks.

“It’s not bad actually, the only one you had for that day was a follow up, it didn’t set you back that much”, Darcy informs.

“Oh, good”, Steve nods, “and how’s this week?” he wonders.

“Steve, don’t worry about it, you’re good, business is going great, your clients love you, don’t get too worked up about it”, she smiles kindly.

“Yeah, you’re right”, Steve sighs letting all the air out after a deep breath, “the thing is, the doctor said I should rest and I’m going to D.C. with Bucky for a few days, I think I’m gonna have to move some of this week’s appointments too”, the blond explains.

“You are?” The girl smiles wide, “so I guess everything went well this past weekend, eh?” she wiggles her eyebrows at him, her eyes open wide behind her glasses, “if you know what I mean”, Darcy mutters.

“You could say so”, Steve scratches the back of his head awkwardly but he can’t help the grin spreading across his face, his cheeks and ears blushing.

“By the hickeys on your neck I would say it went more then well”, she crosses her arms over her chest tilting her head to the side with a teasing smile tugging up the corner of her lips.

“Well, as I was saying, I have lots of work to do, now if you excuse me”, Steve feels his skin burning even more.

“I know you won’t spill any details but I know a certain brunet that might!” Darcy yells at Steve’s back.

Steve chuckles to himself while he begins to set up his working station for the day, he’s used to Darcy’s boldness by now and he knows she means no harm, besides he trusts that if Bucky says anything to her it won’t be something too intimate, either way, she’s been a good friend for so long and Steve appreciates his friends for who they are, everybody is well aware that he’s gone for Bucky, even before he knew himself.

He has an appointment at twelve sharp, he still has some time to kill before he gets everything ready for his upcoming client, he pulls out one of his old sketchbooks from one of the drawers and browses through his drawings, a few scribbles for tattoo ideas, old flash tattoos, random stuff and Bucky; this is one of the sketchbooks where he started drawing Bucky when they recently met, his eyebrows were always knit together in confusion or anger, hands shaky and sweaty, and his eyes uncertain, always avoiding Steve’s.

When Bucky finally begun to open up and they became friends, it was nice to start to know him as a person and for Steve to show him that his intentions were good, friendly, and that he meant no harm; then Steve realized he really liked Bucky, not just because he’s handsome and attractive but also because he’s a good man overall, charming, lovely, funny, sympathetic, and so many other things that Steve can’t even put into words.

Steve started drawing Bucky smiling after that, the easy way he moves around his friends, how he bites his lower lip when he smiles, the light reflected in his eyes along with the bright micro-dermals, those strands of hair that are always falling into his face, his chin and jaw, his shoulders and arms, his hands, and everything in Steve’s sight.

The thing is that Steve has always believed that if it’s meant to be, it’ll be; when he knew that Bucky, this unbelievable man was his friend James from all those years ago, he felt it was more than a coincidence. Steve suffered a lot when Bucky never returned after his accident, Sarah was an amazing mother and Steve couldn’t have asked for someone better to raise him, but he never had friends as a kid but her; nobody wanted to play with the funny looking kid, nobody cared about the frail and sick child, nobody put attention to him, _nobody but Bucky_.

From the age five to eight years old, tiny Steve would beg his mom to take him to Camp Lehigh, counting the days until summer and wishing the time will pass by faster so he could see his friend James again; it didn’t matter that he was still young, he had already decided that little James was his best friend it the entire world, because he knew that even if he had no other friends, even if he had nothing, he would still have Bucky.

But then, things changed, time passed and he completely forgot about the crazy idea about finding James and running away to live adventures around the world along with his best friend, and now, after 20 years, _the idea doesn’t sound so crazy._

Now he can draw Bucky by memory, every part of him, every inch of his body, every scar, beauty spot, birthmark and dimple on his skin, everything that Steve has felt under his fingertips and mouth; Steve could make masterpiece about Bucky, the epitome of his work as an artist, and it still won’t be any close comparison to Bucky.

A soft knock on the door interrupts his recent train of thoughts; he looks up from where he’s drawing Bucky’s long hair on a free space on a sheet and meets Darcy’s eyes that are staring back at his.

“You’re appointment is here”, she smiles.

“This is the James that’s looking to do a Japanese dragon on his back?” Steve wonders.

“That’s the one”, Darcy nods and steps aside to let him lead the way.

Steve walks towards the lobby with his back straight and his chin up high, “Hello, Mr. Howlett”, he greets.

Steve stops on his tracks when he sees the back of the man that’s standing staring out the window, the man is wearing construction boots, jeans and a brown leather jacket, his shoulders square and his body tense, brown short hair, he can recognize this man anywhere, “Logan?” he tilts his head to the side and frowns his eyebrows.

“Afternoon”, Logan turns around and nods once with the same serious expression he always has planted on his face.

“James?” Steve lifts an eyebrow at the man.

“James Howlett is my real name, Logan is just a nickname”, he explains with a shrug.

“I see, so you’re here for a tattoo, should we get started?” Steve asks with a little smile on his face.

“Absolutely, before I regret this”, Logan says and starts to walk towards Steve, the blond extends his arm to let Logan walk in front of him after they shake hands, his grip strong as usual.

Steve starts walking after the guy but gets pulled back by the sleeve of his hoodie by Darcy, he turns around to see her fidgeting with a pen in her mouth, “what is it?” he asks.

“Is he mad?” She murmurs between her teeth.

“Uuuh, no, I don’t think so”, Steve shakes his head.

“He just entered and asked for you right away, he scared me a bit, he looks pissed”, Darcy whispers leaning into Steve’s personal space.

“Well, that’s the way he always looks”, Steve says casually.

_He does look kinda mad, all the time._

“From where do you know him?” Darcy asks.

“He works at SHIELD”, he answers.

“Okay, if something goes wrong, this is your responsibility”, Darcy pokes him in the shoulder.

“Sure, Darce, it’s fine”, Steve pats her shoulder before he walks away to his working station.

When he walks in, he sees that Logan is standing up going through one of his portfolios, Steve moves to grab a few of the sketches he did for suggestions of the tattoo, “a Japanese dragon, right? That’s what you want?” Steve questions.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, I saw the work you did on Coulson, you’re really good”, Logan says with a serious tone on voice still looking down at the book on his hands.

“Thanks, I appreciate that”, Steve answers politely, “you didn’t specified what kind of dragon you want, but I have a portfolio on my Japanese work if you want to browse through it”, he offers the black leather book to him, his sketches still on his hand.

Logan takes the book from his hands without meeting Steve’s eyes yet and opens it right away but this time he takes a seat on the couch; the man spends long seconds staring at each and every one of the pages, turning it slowly like if he tried to do it fast he would rip apart the page, he passes the Oni masks and the flowers, he moves to the animal section where he has a few koi fishes and tigers, Logan runs his fingertips over a few of the paper sheets, it’s such a delicate gesture that Steve thinks he’s imagining things, when he finally gets through the phoenix he reaches the dragons, and Logan let out a silent sigh.

“These are amazing”, Logan says finally meeting Steve’s gaze.

“Well, those are a few examples I’ve done, but I made a few sketches just for you, if you’ll like to see them”, Steve nods and hands him the sheets of paper, Logan takes them and places them on top of his lap, “I don’t know what kind of dragon you’re interested to get so I draw a Sue-Riu”, Steve points at the paper and Logan changes the page, “Fuku-Rio, Hai-Riyo”, he adds quickly before Logan reaches the last page, “and a Han-Riu”, Steve says, Logan doesn’t say anything at the beginning, he just stares down at the page with wide eyes and it makes Steve feel anxious.

“I can draw something else”, Steve offers with a shrug of his shoulders to try to ease some tension.

“This is it, this is what I want”, Logan states with a nod, “I’m glad you did research”, the man says standing up.

“Well, I like to know what I’m doing, and I’m guessing you know what you’re getting, right?” Steve asks.

“Yes”, Logan says plainly.

_Han-Riu: the dragon that can never reach heaven._

The type of dragon that Logan chooses is one of the biggest Japanese dragons, 40 feet long serpent-like skin with lots of stripes and nine different colors all over its body.

“You said it’s going to be a back piece, how big do you want it?” Steve questions.

“Full back”, Logan takes off his jacket and tosses it into the arm of the couch before he yanks his shirt over his head and does the same.

“Are you sure? This is going to take lots of hours, and I’ll have to sketch a few things free hand into your back”, Steve informs.

“I’m aware of that, I trust your judgment, it’s fine”, Logan nods.

“And you discussed the pricing with Darcy?” he asks, the man just nods again, “we have veteran’s discounts, I know you don’t like to get special treatment, but I’ll tell Darcy to apply it”, Steve smiles.

“You don’t have to do that”, Logan looks away to avoid Steve’s eyes, like he’s ashamed of something.

“I understand, but I wasn’t asking”, Steve says with a kind tone on his voice, “I’ll be right back in a moment, and we’ll get started, yes?” the blond offers.

“Sure”, Logan smirks.

 _He actually smirks_. Steve walks to the back of the place to the copy machine and he thinks he hears Logan chuckling behind him; _this is going to be lots of work and two aching backs_ , but Steve knows he’ll enjoy it.

***

“Bucky, I’m glad your past week went well”, Pepper smiles kindly behind her cup of tea.

“Yeah, it was great, the shows were awesome and met a lot of cool people, it felt nice”, Bucky nods.

“That’s good to hear”, she said, “I’m afraid that as much I’ll like to keep chatting with you, I must go”, Pepper stands up and brushes away the wrinkles from her skirt, “if you need anything, you know where to find me”, she adds with a nod and turns on her heel.

Bucky’s been working on his office since Tony left, Bruce asked him to translate some Russian blueprints, luckily Bucky knows Russian as if it was his mother tongue, and this assignment has been _a piece of cake_.

A few minutes before, Pepper came in to consult Bucky again about inviting Steve to the Fundraiser that Stark Industries throws every December, a bunch of artist selling their masterpieces to the highest bettor for a good cause, and really, _art and doing good stuff for people? It’s right on Steve’s alley._

But right now, Bucky’s insides are screaming back at him in despair, his guts eating one another, an aching pain on the pit of his stomach and his head hurts like it’s about to explode.

_I’m sorry, that was a bit dramatic, I’m just hungry._

He stands up and walks towards the dinning hall to grab something to eat, while he walks there, his gaze goes up and down, to see where he is going and trying to avoid bumping with someone and back to his phone as he types a text to Steve.

 **Bucky:** Darcy texted me earlier, she said she wants some Intel, I didn’t understood what she was talking about D:

 **Steve** ♥: She meant about us, yesterday, she saw my neck

 **Bucky:** I’m sorry about that (not really) ;)

 **Steve** ♥ **:** Haha me either :B

 **Bucky:** Well, I won’t tell her anything, you’re for me and only me  <3

 **Steve** ♥ **:** I won’t argue with that (: How’s work?

 **Bucky:** It’s alright, I miss you though :c How you doin’?

 **Steve** ♥ **:** I miss you too, baby. Oh and I can’t feel my wrist, neck and back, they’re killing me but other than that, it’s all good. (*thumbs up*)

 **Bucky:** I have something in mind that can help with that ;););)

 **Steve** ♥ **:** Yeah? Like what? c:

 **Bucky:** Stevie, I’m not gonna sext you while I’m walking!

 **Steve** ♥ **:** Who said anything about sexting, you pervert! Besides, you started it! x)

 **Bucky:** You’re not as saint as you led everybody to believe, Steve Rogers :p

 **Steve** ♥ **:** Uuuuups, busted! :D

 **Bucky:** Anyway, I’ll let you go back to work; I’m on my lunch break, yayyyy! :)

 **Steve** ♥ **:** Okay, enjoy your food. I’ll talk to you later (:

 **Bucky:** Later, handsome XXOO

Bucky puts his phone back on his pocket and continues walking to the dinning hall humming and moving his head rhythmically, he enters the room and buys a chicken sandwich and a drink, he moves around and sits down on a table in the corner, while he eats, he pulls out his phone again and texts Natasha.

 **Bucky** : Hello! :)

 **Natalia** : Oh, you remembered me!

 **Bucky** : Aww c’mon, don’t be jelly c: Are you busy?

 **Natalia** : I’m at the office doing some paperwork, why?

 **Bucky:** FACETIME ME! :D

He places his phone against the napkin holder on the center of the table and waits for Natasha’s call, while the brunet continues to chew his food he plugs in the earphones, answering Natasha with a smile.

“Hi”, he waves at the bright screen of his phone, Natasha smirks back.

“How are you, James? Other than looking like a homeless person”, She asks with a chuckle.

“I know, I gotta shave, I’m good by the way, great actually”, he brushes his chin with his palm before he takes a big gulp of his water bottle.

“Oh really? And Steve?” Natasha wonders.

“He’s uh… he’s okay”, Bucky says holding back a smile, _and fails_.

“Jaaaaaames”, she singsongs.

“What?” He asks innocently.

“What happened? Tell me!” She demands pointing a finger at the screen.

“Nothing, we talked and stuff”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder and bites the inside of his cheek to avoid the grin on his face to spread wider, _because Natasha loves to tease_.

“And stuff?” She lifts her perfectly plucked eyebrow at him, “you had sex, didn’t you?” the redhead narrows her eyes.

_Ah, shit!_

“You’re scary sometimes, you’re like a spy”, He chuckles.

“James, I thought you were going to talk to him, not suck his dick”, Natasha shakes her head and huffs, but she isn’t really mad or disappointed.

“Yeah and I did”, Bucky says, “both of those things actually”, he mutters between his teeth with a mouthful of food, his friend huffs again.

“And?” She wonders.

“It was amazing, I cried Natalia, that was a bit embarrassing I’m not gonna to lie, and he thought he did something wrong, and…” he mumbles.

“James!” she interrupts him, “What did he said? I don’t need to know about your sex life”, Natasha rolls her eyes.

“Right!” He chuckles before he continues, “Well, I said that I was sorry for being an idiot and then he explained me about Friday”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder while he drowns his French fries with ketchup.

“He did? Well, I guess it went better than expected, I thought he was going to avoid the whole conversation”, she nods her head.

“He kinda did at the beginning but then it was all good, he made lasagna and it was so fucking delicious”, Bucky says happily.

“I’ve tried it before and yes, it’s pretty good”, Natasha says in agreement, “do you have a title now?” she wonders.

“No, not yet”, he says sadly looking down at his empty food plate, “we said we were going to take it slow but after last night, I guess we skipped a few steps”, Bucky comments without looking up.

“I’m not going to lecture you about what you’re doing, but I hope you don’t turn into those relationships where you don’t know where you’re standing”, Natasha leans back on her chair and crosses her arms over her chest.

“I won’t let that happen, I haven’t said anything because I don’t want to smother him”, Bucky sighs resting his chin on the heel of his hand.

“But you don’t want to let him go either, don’t let him be just the ‘guy you’re dating’”, she reminds holding her hands up in quotation marks.

“I love him, Nat”, Bucky takes a deep breath and continues, “I know it’s probably too soon to say something like that, but I do, I really do”, he fiddles with his lip ring waiting for Natasha to say something.

“And I believe you, you’ve changed, you are more like the man you used to be before Brock, and even happier, which I’m glad, you’re still bratty, but you are you again”, she smirks kindly.

“Shut up”, he chuckles, “you’ve changed too, what happened to ‘Love is for children’?” Bucky teases mocking her voice.

“Clint’s different”, Natasha shrugs a shoulder.

“He must be to be able to handle all your shit”, he laughs.

“I know”, she chuckles along with him.

“I missed you, Nat”, Bucky smiles warmly.

“Don’t get emotional with me, James”, Natasha says, “but I missed you too”, she adds.

“Well, I gotta continue with my work”, Bucky frowns his lips, “Oh, by the way, Steve’s going with me to D.C.”, Bucky smiles wide.

“That’s awesome, how do you think your mom is going to take it?” She asks.

“What do you mean?” He tilts his head to the side.

“She’s been begging you to take someone since forever and let’s not forget your dad, he can be scary sometimes, luckily for you, your bringing Steve Rogers, the all-American boy”, she teases.

“I’m actually more scared that Becky is going to be embarrassing me the whole time”, Bucky chuckles.

“It’s your sister, it’s practically her job”, Natasha jokes, “I have to go too, take care, James”, she says.

“You too, Nat”, Bucky nods, “don’t wait up”, he smirks at his friend.

“You’re not sleeping in again?” Natasha wonders.

“Not sure yet, but I don’t think so”, he shrugs casually with a playful smile plastered on his face.

“Good for me”, she winks, “later”, his friend says before hanging up.

***

“Are you sure you don’t need another break?” Steve peeks over Logan’s shoulder.

“I just needed a break before because I had to take a piss, I’m fine”, Logan says.

“It’s been almost 3 hours straight, I’ll keep going for another hour tops”, Steve informs, “if in any moment you need me to stop, please say it”, he comments with a soft tone of voice.

“Keep going”, Logan nods once.

Steve is impress, he isn’t going to lie, he was scared at the beginning, Logan didn’t even flinch once when Steve did some test lines on his back, and he said he doesn’t have any ink on his body, the first half hour Logan laid on his chest over the tattooing table like he was receiving a massage and Steve didn’t said anything, he just kept working, the man asked for a break to go to the restroom and that’s exactly when he received a text from Bucky.

After Logan returns, Steve keeps working on the outline of the huge tattoo piece, his back aches because he’s been hunched over the other man’s body, his fingers and wrist are numb from working that much time nonstop, Logan is taking the pain really well and doesn’t protests at all, _it’s like he doesn’t feel a thing_ , Steve can keep going and ignore his aching back but he’s well aware that it won’t do him any good, and he’s afraid that Logan’s body will crash later in shock from all the pain, _besides I have another appointment after this_.

He keeps moving the tattoo machine across the man’s back, the needles puncturing the epidermis and his skin absorbing the ink, Steve swipes away the excess with his left hand and maintains a steady pulse with the other hand, tracing the guidelines he placed previously, he draws a few waves around the body of the dragon to complement the tattoo and adds some movement to the body, _no flowers_ , at Logan’s request.

“Logan, time is almost up and I have to give you the specifications for the aftercare, okay?” Steve says gently.

Steve leans back to let Logan sit down and the guy stretches his arms over his head like he just received a gentle back rub and Steve frowns his eyebrows in surprise at the man’s calmness.

“Let me wrap you up and you can get on your way”, Steve stands up and walks to grab everything he needs to clean him and send the man on his way.

“It helps”, Logan speaks softly.

“Excuse me?” Steve turns around and shifts towards Logan again.

“The pain, it helps to keep me grounded”, Logan sits down straighter when Steve starts to clean his back one last time, “when I came back to the States from my last tour I was diagnosed with PTSD, also doing martial arts keeps my mind from drifting off”, he explains.

“I see, I don’t know what it feels like, but I understand”, Steve nods even though the man can’t see him.

“I don’t know why I just said that, but for some reason I trust you, I think you’re a good man Steve Rogers, don’t let anybody change that”, Logan stands up after Steve takes a picture of the man’s back for archive and wraps him up.

Those words sound odd coming out from Logan’s mouth, because he clearly doesn’t give too many compliments to people, Steve doesn’t know how this man was before he went overseas, but he’s sure just by looking the way that Logan carries himself that this guy has been through a lot, and Steve is aware that he’s a good listener and that’s probably why Logan feels comfortable telling him about such a personal matter.

“I appreciate that, and I don’t think that anybody can change me, even if they tried”, Steve smiles kindly.

“Good”, Logan puts his shirt back on.

Steve takes his wallet from his back pocket and grabs a business card and hands it to Logan, “here, there’s my cellphone number, I don’t know if you have it or not, but you can call me if you have any questions about the tattoo”, Steve points at Logan’s hand, “or if you want to hang out or something, I don’t drink but I like bar nachos, feel free to give me a call”, Steve shrugs his shoulder with a smile on his face.

“Thanks”, Logan smirks lifting the business card on his hand.

There’s a soft knock on the doorframe and they both of them look up to see who it is, “Hey, I was just checking to see how everything’s going”, Darcy offers a shy smile.

“Great, we just finished for today, would you schedule his next appointment, please?” Steve says.

“Sure”, she nods, “and also, Clint and Sam are here”, Darcy informs.

“They are?” Steve wonders.

The three of them walks towards the lobby, and indeed, Clint and Sam are there with a couple of craft paper bags, they exchange some looks between them before they look at Steve again with a smile.

His friends realize quickly that Steve isn’t alone and they both turn to Logan, “Hey, man”, Sam says, “Sup!” Clint gives him a peace sign, Logan just nods once and turns around to sign some paper work that Darcy is handing him over the front counter.

Steve walks towards his friends and gives them a tight hug, “What was that about?” he asks.

His friends look at each other again weirdly, like they’re exchanging unspoken words, and really, Steve should be accustomed to it since they always do it, _but it’s still strange_.

“What?” Sam asks innocently while Clint smirks.

“You know what? Forget about it”, Steve puts up his hands in surrender shaking his head from side to side.

“We brought food”, Clint lifts the brown bag in the air before Sam and him walk towards the back.

Steve turns around to see that Logan is already gone and Darcy is typing away a few things on the computer, “That guy still scares me”, she says when Steve approaches her.

“He’s not a bad man, Darce, but I understand where you’re coming from”, he chuckles softly.

“Thor, Loki and I are going out to eat some pizza, I think you’re covered, right?” Darcy points to the hall that leads to the back.

“Yes, you guys go ahead”, Steve says.

“Awesome, see you in a bit”, Darcy pats his shoulder when she comes walking around the counter; Thor and Loki are already waiting for her outside.

Steve closes the front door and places the small sign that says ‘Lunch Break, BRB’ before he walks to the back to meet his friends that are already settled around the table.

“Do you prefer steak or chicken?” Clint asks.

“Whatever’s fine”, Steve takes the seat in front of his friends and grabs the sub that Clint is handing him.

“Chicken for you then”, his friend says.

“Clint, you already ate like I don’t even know how many slices of pizza today and you’re still hungry?” Sam laughs.

“Dude, fooood”, Clint takes a big bite of his sub.

The three of them chat for a bit while they eat, they talk about The Nest for the most part but Steve can tell that his friends want to ask him something, probably about the day before, but Steve doesn’t say anything about it, he’s waiting for his friends to bring up the subject.

When they finished their food, they start eating those chocolate chip cookies that are over the counter at the Deli that Sam always insists in buying, and Clint stands up to set the coffee machine, when the hot liquid is finally done brewing, the man pours some of it into a couple of mugs.

“You are not drinking straight from the coffee pot”, Steve points a finger at him.

“But moooooooooom”, the man whines.

“No, Clint”, Steve shakes his head.

“Fineeee”, Clint says grabbing a cup for himself from the top counter.

“You talked to Bucky?” Sam finally asks.

“Yeah, I did”, Steve nods.

“Did you, really?” Clint leans back on the backrest of his chair and quirks an eyebrow at him, “Let me rephrase that, did you told him about Friday?” Sam adds before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Nat told him”, Steve says looking down at his hands.

“Of course she did, you weren’t gonna say shit”, Clint crosses his arms over his chest.

“Clint, take it easy”, Sam narrows his eyes at his friend before he looks back at Steve, “I understand why you didn’t want to tell him, but he has a right to know, that guy really cares about you”, he gives him a small smile.

“I know”, Steve sighs, “we did talked about it, I explained everything to him”, he informs.

“And what did he said?” Clint asks, “did he said you’re a loser and that he doesn’t want to know anything about you?” he adds lifting his eyebrows, his arms still crossed over his chest.

“What? Of course not”, Steve frowns his eyebrows.

_What the fuck?_

“Clint!” Sam yells.

“Did he say you’re pathetic?” Clint questions with a defying tone on his voice.

“He would never say something like that”, Steve shakes his head.

“Man, what are you doing?” Sam mutters between his teeth.

“Did he laughed in your face and ran?” Clint leans into the table and places his chin over his knuckles.

“Fuck no”, Steve answers quickly.

_Calm down, Rogers._

Clint is teasing him, _he totally is_ , and Steve can tell by the tone on his friend’s voice, but he can’t help but feel his blood boil inside his body, his heart thumping against his chest quickly as he tries to breathe through his mouth, he fists his hands over the table to fight the urge to throw a punch at Clint’s face.

“Shut up, Clint!” Sam demands.

“Did he said you’re weak and a mess of a human being? That he feels pity for your pathetic body? That he regrets ever meeting you? That you ruin his life, that you’re the worst person he’s ever met?” Clint continues.

Steve takes a deep breath and sighs slowly, letting out all the air through his mouth, he understands now what Clint is doing, he wants Steve to realize that Bucky will never do those things to him and that Steve needs to hear that coming out from his own mouth to truly believe them, “No, he didn’t said any of those things”, Steve whispers finally calming himself.

“Point stated”, Clint shrugs a shoulder casually.

“Point taken”, Steve chuckles softly.

“Holly shit, I thought he was gonna jump on you for a second”, Sam says looking at Clint but he’s pointing a finger towards Steve, “and you know what? I wasn’t going to stop him”, he laughs.

“Wow, you’re such a good friend, Sam”, Clint says sarcastically.

“Just like you”, Sam smiles back at Clint bating his eyelashes, “so, nothing bad happened, right?” he asks Steve.

“Noup”, Steve smiles wide.

“But something did happen? Right, tiger?” Clint teases wiggling his eyebrows at him.

“Well… yeah, we uuh… you know…” Steve mumbles, his cheeks blushing while he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Steve, we knew from the moment we saw you”, Sam chuckles.

“Those things on your neck aren’t mosquito bites, man”, Clint laughs, “besides, you’re pretty obvious, you can’t stop smiling like an idiot”, he adds with a smirk.

“I might look like an idiot when I smile, but you always look like an idiot”, Steve sasses back.

“Oh, daaaaaamn!” Sam laughs out loud snapping his fingers and offers a fist to Steve, the blond bumps it with his own happily.

“Who topped?” Clint wonders.

“Clint, seriously?” Steve asks with his eyes open wide.

“Just answer that one question Steve, no more”, Sam pleads with his palms pressed together.

“Although, you kinda answer lots of other questions too”, Clint smirks.

Steve huffs and rolls his eyes at his friends before he speaks again, “I did, okay? I topped”, the blond gives in.

“Ha-ha! Pay up, bother”, Sam pats Clint’s chest.

“Damn it”, Clint says under his breath while he takes out his wallet and hands a twenty dollars bill to Sam.

“Did you seriously made a bet over my sex life?” Steve asks.

“I don’t even know why you’re surprised, it’s nothing new”, Clint laughs.

“Two bets actually, double or nothing, the first one was if you were gonna have sex or not, and if you did, who topped”, Sam explains.

“You guys are the worst”, Steve points two fingers at his friends.

“We are”, Clint and Sam say at the same time with a smile on their faces.

***

Bucky finishes his assignment way earlier than he expects and continues working on a few other things on advance since he’s leaving again, the people in Stark Industries are always well organized and they are accustomed to Bucky’s needs and requests, that’s why he’s always one step ahead.

When he decides that he has done enough work for the day, he turns off his computer and heads home, of course he’s going to Steve’s, but he wants to grab a few things from his house, when he leaves Stark Industries it’s around 4 p.m., it gives him enough time to get to his house and back to Steve’s before the guy gets home.

On the way to his house, riding the subway, he puts on his earphones and zones out to ‘Bad Brains’ by Bad Brains and taps the tip of his toes against the floor along with the music, he notices a guy eyeing him from the corner of the wagon, the man is really attractive; in another situation, Bucky would have probably walked over to the guy and start a conversation, flirt a little and maybe ask him out for a drink or something, take him home, have sex and never see him again.

But right now, he can’t stop to compare this guy to Steve, the way that things started between the two of them weren’t the best but when they both realized they were attracted to each other everything changed, it was good and bad at the beginning, and finally it was starting to be one of the best decisions he’s ever made.

The man looks about Bucky’s age, well dressed, clean cut and presentable; he could be nice, funny and caring, a good man, or maybe he could be the complete opposite, _been there, done that_ ; but the thing is, Bucky doesn’t want to know, and as harsh as it sounds, he doesn’t even care, _not even a bit_. The only person that he’s interested at the moment is Steve, as long as the man keeps being the way he is, Bucky doesn’t matter that Steve might lose or gain a hundred pounds in the future, that he goes bald, that his teeth start to fall out, because for Bucky’s eyes, _Steve’s perfect_.

So, right now, he’s just going to concentrate back on his music and look outside the window as the subway moves through the tunnel and ignore the guy that’s trying to eat Bucky with his eyes.

He gets out of the subway quickly without looking back, lost on his music and the thought of seeing Steve tonight, he walks a few blocks to his house feeling lightheaded and cheerful. When he finally arrives at his house, he feels a tad homesick after not sleeping a night in there for more than a week, everything is going too fast, it’s been no more than 3 weeks since Steve and him agreed on taking things slow and definitely didn’t worked out too well with Bucky’s departure, and they’ve only known each other for about a few months, _without counting our childhood friendship_ , but for Bucky it feels like it’s been a lifetime, _and it sounds stupid_ , but this definitely something meant to be.

Bucky leaves his bag on the couch and checks his phone for messages, he’s moving to the kitchen when he hears a noise coming from Natasha’s room, “Naaaaat?” he calls.

“In here!” she answers.

He walks towards there after he pours himself a glass of water and leans casually on the doorframe while he sees her struggling with her bag, “you’re leaving now?” he asks after a long gulp.

“Not until tomorrow night but I have things to do in the morning”, she comments, “I thought you said you weren’t going to be here”, Natasha adds with a frown.

“Hey, calm down, I didn’t ruined your night, I’m here just to pick up a few things”, Bucky chuckles.

“I see”, she huffs from inside her closet.

“What is it?” He wonders walking towards her.

“I’m not sure if I should take something formal or something a little bit more casual”, Natasha answers.

“Damn, Natalia, are you actually nervous?” He laughs.

“No dumbass, I’m meeting his family, this is a big deal for him”, she says.

“And for you too apparently, don’t worry about it Nat, you’ll look good in anything you wear”, he assures, “besides, if it was for Clint, he’d have you naked all the time”, Bucky shrugs his shoulder.

“Yeah, you’re right”, Natasha laughs, “I knew there was a reason why we keep being friends”, he says with a tiny smirk.

“You hurt my feelings”, Bucky places a hand over his chest, “are you going to take too long with that?” he asks pointing at the bag.

“No, why?” She questions.

“I was wondering if you can cut my hair”, Bucky says.

“Oh yes, please!” Natasha chuckles.

“That bad?” He says in outrage.

“No, Bucky, you don’t look bad, but I already told you look like a hobo”, she giggles.

“Hey, the hobo look is in this winter”, he informs with a shrug.

“Gay and stylish, uuuuhhhh”, Natasha jokes.

“Shut up”, he laughs out loud, “no but seriously, I don’t care about my hair but I think my mom won’t appreciate having a son that looks like a caveman”, Bucky explains.

“Oh no, she won’t”, she agrees.

Bucky helps Natasha finish packing before they move to the bathroom to cut his hair, he doesn’t trust many people with his hair or scissors anyway near his neck, and since he met her, Natasha has been cutting it form him, he doesn’t know why but for some reason it’s a big deal for him. She doesn’t cut too much this time, just the ratty and split ends and it’s still on the longer side, just right below his ears. After that, he goes into his room to grab Steve’s clean clothes he had on his closet from previous times and doesn’t even bother to grab some of his own, only clean underwear, his shaving cream and razor, and deodorant.

“I don’t know if I’ll see you tomorrow or not, so I guess I’ll see you later?” Bucky asks.

“Yes, call me, okay?” She smiles opening her arms wide.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do”, Bucky says after he embraces Natasha into a tight hug.

“Which is not a big spectrum”, Natasha says.

“Oh shut up, text me or whatever”, he says before opening the door.

“Hey maaan”, Clint says awkwardly with a frown on his eyebrows standing outside the door.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m leaving, I didn’t spoil your plans”, Bucky hold up his hands in surrender, “it’s good to see you too”, he chuckles.

“Looking fresh, you’re off to Steve’s?” Clint asks with a smirk pointing at Bucky’s head.

“Obviously”, Bucky winks, “be safe, I’m not ready for nephews and nieces yet”, he pats Clint’s shoulder when he walks pass by him.

“Yeah, and call tomorrow if you need a wheelchair!” Clint yells behind him and Bucky just gives him the finger over his shoulder while he chuckles to himself.

“Men!” he hears Natasha say before they close the door.

He goes outside of their building into the cold air of the afternoon, it’s already a bit dark and the weather isn’t getting any warmer, he puts on his beanie over his recently cut hair and pulls up the collar of his jacket as he walks towards the subway.

The ride isn’t too long but for Bucky always seems to take forever, his impatience growing as the minutes pass and he can’t wait any longer to see Steve again. When he finally arrives to the man’s house, he isn’t there yet, Captain isn’t home either since he normally spends the afternoons over at Miles’, Bucky closes the door behind him, turns the heating system on and moves upstairs straight to Steve’s bathroom to take a shower and shave.

He opens the water spray and just when he’s waiting for it to heat up, he receives a message from Steve and smiles at the screen of his phone like an idiot.

 **Steve** ♥: Hey gorgeous, what are you up to?

 **Bucky** : Hi c: I’m not doing much, just got home, you?

 **Steve** ♥: I’m on a break right now, but I still have one more hour to go :(

 **Bucky** : You can do it (; but don’t wear yourself out D:

 **Steve** ♥: I won’t, I gotta go back to work :|

 **Bucky** : Okay, text me when you get home <3

 **Steve** ♥: Sure thing (:

_Perfect, he doesn’t know I’m here._

Bucky takes off his clothes quickly and gets into the shower to get rid of all the little hairs that got stuck to his body after the haircut, he cleans himself properly as fast as he manages to take his time with the shaving process, after he closes the shower spray, he dries himself a bit and wraps the towel around his waist, he wipes the steam of a section of the mirror and draws little hearts in the remaining steam for Steve to see, _like a teenager, Natasha would say_.

He shaves his now growing beard completely, the razor moving along the curves on his jaw, chin and under his nose, cleaning the excess foam on the sink, and repeats the process as much times as he needs to let his skin _silky smooth_. He always looks way younger this way, with his hair slicked back and his face free of hair, he takes a couple of minutes to run his fingers over the few bite marks he has on his neck and smiles to himself.

When he’s finally satisfied with the results, he puts on some aftershave that Steve has on one of the counters; he takes off the towel and puts on his underwear before he moves into the bedroom to get some pajama pants and a shirt, already familiar where everything is.

Bucky loves to move around barefoot so he doesn’t bother with socks, he walks back downstairs and when he’s about to reach the kitchen, there’s a soft knock on the door, he pulls out his phone to check the time and frowns a bit when he realizes that there’s still time left until Steve arrives home, he moves to the door and opens it without asking who it is.

“Hey!” Bucky grins at the young man in front of him.

“Hi, Bucky, how are you?” Miles asks.

“I’m good, come on in”, Bucky offers stepping aside to let Miles walk in along with Captain by his side.

“Steve told me you were on tour with your band, how was it?” Miles wonders curiously.

“It was pretty sick, man, I had a great time”, Bucky says walking towards the kitchen.

“That’s awesome, I’ll like to see you play someday”, the kid comments.

“Dude, you should totally come to one of our shows, I’ll let you know when the next one is”, Bucky nods.

“Deal”, Miles smiles.

“How are school and the ladies?” Bucky wonders as he plugs in the Keurig coffee machine.

“School’s okay, I’m really looking forward to winter break, though”, he says, “the ladies not so well”, Miles chuckles.

“What do you mean not so well?” He asks after he puts in the little k-cup filter into place, “want one?” he points towards the coffee machine.

“No, thanks”, Miles answers, “I say not so well because there’s this girl I like, she’s in my history class, but she doesn’t even know I exist”, he shrugs his shoulders.

“You know that for sure?” Bucky wonders tapping his fingers on the counter of the kitchen while he waits for his cup of coffee to brew.

“Well, no, she’s badass but she’s nice and really, really smart, and I’m just a regular guy”, Miles huffs.

“I don’t think you’re just a regular guy, you’re pretty neat to me”, Bucky smirks before he turns around to prepare his coffee.

“Yeah, to you, but she doesn’t know me”, Miles says.

“Exactly!” Bucky chuckles.

“So, what are you saying?” The kid asks.

“Just talk to her for starters, found out something she likes and go on from there”, Bucky smiles.

“Yeah, I can do that”, Miles says, “well, I better go, my parents are waiting for me to help with dinner”, he adds.

“Oh, nice, say hi to them for me”, Bucky walks to the door and holds it open for him, his cup of coffee on the other hand.

“Sure, same with Steve, later Bucky”, Miles waves over his shoulder.

“Take care!” Bucky yells behind the kid and closes the door.

He moves to the record collection, he browses to choose a vinyl to play, he settles with ‘The Wall’ Disc 1 by Pink Floyd and sits down on the couch sipping on his hot drink while he waits for Steve to arrive.

“Come here, buddy”, Bucky pats the empty space next to him, Captain runs towards him right away and takes the place that Bucky instructed, “you’re going to meet my parents this week, I’m sure they’re going to like Steve and you just like I do”, he says to the dog while he rubs his soft fur.

***

By seven o’clock sharp, Darcy lingers around Steve’s working station to let him know it’s time to leave and that she isn’t going anywhere until he has his _ass out the door_. Steve finishes with the current client that just needed a few touch ups to finish his tattoo and he does it right on time, he cleans his space and leaves everything back in place before he steps out of the store.

He considers for a minute on texting Bucky to see if he wants to do something, but Steve doesn’t do it because Bucky said he was already home and he probably needs some rest. The blond puts on his coat and wraps his scarf around his neck before he says his goodbyes to his co-workers and Darcy locks the store behind them.

When he finally arrives home and walks towards the door after he parks his motorcycle on the driveway, he stands up outside for a few seconds, there’s noise coming from inside and he frowns his eyebrows in confusion, he’s sure he didn’t leave anything on when they left this morning, _it’s probably Miles._

He opens the door slowly and Captain receives him with a big jump as soon as he walks in, “Hey Cap, how are you?” Steve scratches the back of his ears.

He leaves his things on the couch, Pink Floyd playing on the background, _not Miles_ , he moves to the kitchen where he can clearly listen the water running on the sink, and Bucky is standing there with his back to him, _his hair is shorter_ , the man is wearing pajamas a little too big for him, _probably mine_ , and he’s washing something.

“Hello”, Steve says casually.

“Hi”, Bucky answers back turning around after he reaches for the little towel to dry his hands, he rests the heels of his hands on the counter leaning back against it, his face is clean and bright with that huge smile that Steve loves so much.

Steve walks towards him with his eyes fixated on Bucky’s, as soon as he’s in arms reach, Bucky places his hands on Steve’s hips and presses the blond’s body against his, Steve’s hands go up to Bucky’s damp hair and runs his fingers through a few strands that are falling onto his face, tucking them behind Bucky’s ear.

“I thought you were going to your place”, Steve says.

“And I did, just to grab a few things and Nat cut my hair”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder.

“Looks nice, you look nice”, Steve places his hand on the side of Bucky’s neck and brushes his thumb along the now smooth skin of Bucky’s jawline.

“It was getting really shaggy so I figured it needed a trim”, he explains, “I was about to get in the shower when you texted me”, Bucky confesses.

“Didn’t we shower this morning?” Steve questions scratching his temple.

“Yeah, but since we’re having sex tonight”, Bucky bites down his bottom lip playfully.

“We are?” Steve asks trying to sound casual.

“You have to make it up to me, do you have any idea how difficult it is to be on a van or a hotel room surrounded by men and not being able to touch myself? It’s not so cool”, Bucky shakes his head from side to side.

“Weeeeeell”, Steve teases pretending to think about it, “in that case I need to shower too, I feel all clammy from being inside the shop all day”, he scrunches his nose.

“Okay, but kiss first”, Bucky demands placing his index finger over his lips.

He chuckles leaning forward into Bucky’s space but he doesn’t press their lips together, he waits until Bucky tries to reach him but he answers by moving back just a bit with a playful smile plastered on his face.

“Heeeeey”, Bucky whines with his lips frown downwards.

“What?” Steve smirks. Bucky gives him a little push causing him to move a step back, the brunet crosses his arms over his chest and narrows his gray-blue eyes at Steve.

“Oh, c’mon!” Steve laughs, Bucky huffs in return and turns his head to the side trying to act offended but he’s completely failing because Steve can see he’s fighting back a smile.

Steve starts poking Bucky’s stomach trying to make him laugh and succeeds, the brunet hunches and tries to move away from Steve, giggling a bit, “stoooop”, Bucky whines.

He moves closer to Bucky and presses his body against the brunet’s, trapping him in place between him and the kitchen counter, Steve starts tickling Bucky with his fingers, the brunet wiggles his body all over while he laughs out loud and tries to get away from him, Steve chuckles along with him.

“Steeeeeeve! I’m gonna pee my pants, stop!” Bucky warns trying to get a hold on Steve’s wrists, and he obviously doesn’t stop, _how can I?_ He can hear Bucky’s laugh all day and never get tired of it, “pleaseeee!” Bucky begs.

“Okay, okay”, Steve surrenders brushing the sides of Bucky’s arms.

Bucky sticks his tongue out at Steve, he leans into Bucky’s space again and brushes his nose slowly at Bucky’s neck and the man giggles, Steve places a peck on that same spot before he moves up to Bucky’s jaw leaving a trail of kisses. Bucky hooks his index fingers on the belt loops of Steve’s jeans and brings their bodies impossibly closer, Steve places his hands on Bucky’s nape, his fingertips scratching the man’s scalp. Where Bucky was previously hairy and raspy before he’s now clean and smooth, Steve’s thumbs brush Bucky’s cheeks when he finally puts their mouths together, the brunet parts his lips right away to make more room for Steve, he sucks Bucky’s lower lip and pulls his piercing a bit as he always does, Bucky moans on the back of his throat against Steve’s mouth while he licks the roof of Steve’s mouth.

Steve turns his head from side to side taking control over the kiss and Bucky doesn’t seem to mind at all, he continues to make little noises while his tongue swirls around Steve’s. When they finally pull apart, they chuckle trying to fight for air, “that was torture, you’re so mean”, Bucky says, his lips red and puffy.

“Oh Buck, that’s nothing”, Steve laughs and Bucky’s eyes open wide at Steve’s comment, “you’ll find out soon enough”, he winks playfully, “but first, shower”, Steve kisses Bucky’s forehead and turns around to walk towards the stairs.

“Don’t take too long”, he hears Bucky singsong cheerfully behind him.

The blond moves up quickly taking two steps at a time, he pulls out a pair of clean underwear and goes into the shower as soon as the water heats up, he’s excited, _really excited_ , not just excited-trilled but excited-hot, Bucky wants to have sex with him again, this isn’t just the heat of the moment, _he actually said the words, more like demanded it_ , and Steve isn’t the one to say no to this man, and this time, he’s going to give it to Bucky just the way he asks him to.

After he towels himself properly and puts on his boxer briefs on, he notices the little hearts on the steam over the mirror and smiles wide, he brushes his wet hair and eyes himself in the reflection, his ribs are the last stages of bruising, _finally_ , his neck and collarbones with a few hickeys here and there. Steve stretches his arms over his head while he arches his back, articulations and bones cracking back into place. The blond feels his neck a bit tense when he rubs the area with his fingertips; the stiffness of his body is only a result from being in the same uncomfortable position all day, because internally he feels he’s over a cloud.

Steve wonders for a moment if it’s too eager of him to go downstairs in just his boxers since Bucky already said they’re having sex tonight, but well, there’s no need to rush things, _Bucky isn’t going anywhere_. He puts on some sweatpants and a shirt, turns off the lights and moves to the lower floor.

“Hurry up, Jack’s still singing the Pumpkin King!” Bucky yells, he’s sitting on the middle of the L-shaped couch in front of the TV with his legs crossed, one hand petting Captain and the other stuffing his mouth with popcorn.

“You put on Nightmare Before Christmas?” Steve chuckles, he walks towards Bucky from behind the couch and kisses the top of his head, “I’m gonna get a bowl of cereal, do you want some?” he asks.

“Do you have any non-grandpa cereals?” Bucky questions.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Steve wonders over his shoulder as he walks into the kitchen.

“You know, like Special K, Fiber One and all those dietetic, wheaty, fiebery and boring cereals”, Bucky laughs.

“Oh, you mean good and healthy cereals?” Steve says lifting an eyebrow at Bucky from where he’s leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen, “I do have fun cereals”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, like what? Raisin Bran?” Bucky jokes.

“I don’t like raisins but I do have All Bran, but no, I mean more like Cap N’ Crunch or Lucky Charms”, Steve shrugs a shoulder.

“Yayyyy, Cap N’ Crunch!” he cheers with his hands up in the air.

Steve nods once and moves back to the fridge to get the milk and pours the cereal into two bowls, Cap N’ Crunch for Bucky and he settle with some Cheerio’s.

“What do you mean you don’t like raisins? Not even those covered with chocolate?” Bucky asks as soon as Steve goes back into the living room carrying their bowls.

“No, not really”, Steve shakes his head.

“Got it, no raisins”, Bucky smiles, Steve grins back and hands him his bowl, he grabs a cushion to put on the floor and sits down on it in front of Bucky to watch the rest of the movie with his own bowl of cereal on his hands.

***

Bucky hums and sings to one of his favorite movies of all times and the best thing about it is that Steve doesn’t even seem to mind, he doesn’t tell Bucky to shut up, or warns him he’s going to stop the movie or that he’s being annoying, it makes Bucky feel warm all over, his stomach does a few flips and his heart skips a beat, because it makes him realize he’s right where he’s suppose to be.

Steve stands up to take their empty plates to the kitchen right when the Oogie Boogie holds Santa and Sally hostages, he returns right away to sit down where he was before. Steve is scratching the top of his head when Bucky remembers that he said earlier that his neck and back were hurting, the brunet places his hands on Steve’s shoulders and the blond tenses a bit, like he wasn’t expecting to be touched but Bucky continues to rub Steve’s broad shoulders in circular motions until he feels that Steve is a little more comfortable.

“Buck, you don’t have to”, Steve whispers.

“I know, just relax, okay?” Bucky says leaning forward to place a small kiss on the back of Steve’s neck

He continues to move his hands squeezing Steve’s shoulders and neck, rubbing his thumbs along the hair on the back of the blond’s head, Bucky closes his hands around Steve’s neck and moves them down to those wide shoulders of his and keeps massaging the tense areas. Steve hisses a few times when Bucky puts extra pressure to work a few knots, the blond is looking up to the TV but Bucky has already forgotten the movie by now, he just looks down to see his hands working on Steve’s shoulders, his fingers moving down the collar of Steve’s shirt while the blond tries to keep his breath steady, air coming in and out of his lungs slowly.

Bucky puts down his legs on each side of Steve and the blond moves his arms up on the couch, his armpits on Bucky’s knees, Bucky rubs Steve’s muscled arms up and down, from the shoulders to the wrist, squeezing his forearms, biceps and triceps, watching how the blond’s little hairs stand up with goosebumps as his fingertips touch the warm pale skin.

The movie is ending by the time that Bucky looks back up to the screen, he reaches to the side for the remote control and turns off the TV; Steve has his hands fisted on the fabric of the couch when Bucky returns his attention to the man’s neck and runs his hands over his skin, this time softly, easing the last of the tension on Steve’s back, his body is now lax against Bucky’s legs, when he finally let go of the couch and places his arms down again, his fingers scratching Bucky’s ankles while the brunet moves his hands up to Steve’s golden hair.

He leans forward and starts kissing Steve’s neck, his mouth slightly open to let his tongue taste the warm skin, Steve’s breathing is a bit faster and he makes the tiniest moans on the back of his throat, Bucky has realized by now that Steve is not loud, he moans and grunts sometimes and he likes to talk, _but I’m the loud one._

Bucky tilts his head to the side to kiss all around Steve’s neck and up to his ears, the tips are red and warm and Bucky can’t take the silence any longer, besides he wants Steve’s hands on him, “remember the first time you went to my place and we watched a movie, I don’t even remembered which one”, Bucky whispers against Steve’s neck, his hands travel down the blond’s chest.

“It was ‘Mud’”, he says, “the movie, I mean”, Steve nods, his voice low and husky.

“Oh yeah, and I was in the position where you are right now, you were giving me a massage, remember that?” he asks, he digs his fingertips down on Steve’s chest and moves them up to the collarbones and down again to Steve’s nipples, the brunet’s chin resting on Steve’s shoulder.

“Yes, I remember”, Steve’s mouth hangs open as a silent moan escapes his throat when Bucky rubs his nipples in circular motions slowly, flicking them with his fingers.

“I was glad but also sad you left right after, you gave me a boner that time”, Bucky comments with a chuckle. Steve starts laughing out loud, tilting his head backwards only a few inches away from Bucky’s crotch, his hand touching his chest while he continues to shake from laughing so hard, “it wasn’t funny, it was so frustrating!” Bucky says.

“You should have said something”, Steve smirks, his head resting on the couch between Bucky’s legs.

“Yeah? Like what?” Bucky says looking down to Steve’s bright smile, “Hey Steve, I thought you were a hot asshole at the beginning but now I think you’re hot and not an asshole, wanna suck my dick?” he jokes with a smile on his face, brushing Steve’s hair away from his face with his fingers.

“Yes, I do”, Steve answers and turns around so he’s kneeling down in front of Bucky now, Bucky can’t help to feel hot in the pit of his stomach when Steve looks at him like he’s the best thing in the world but also like he wants to fuck his brains out.

“I thought you were straight back then, remember?” Bucky comments.

“And now?” Steve places his hands on Bucky’s knees and moves them up slowly up to Bucky’s dick, never taking away his eyes from Bucky’s; Steve continues to rub Bucky’s cock with his palm, up and down gently and Bucky’s arms move up to the backrest of the couch, he’s getting hard fast, Steve’s could be not touching him at all but still get his dick to twitch in excitement just by the way that Steve is looking at him with that playful and teasing smile on his face.

“I’m glad that Sam and Clint cleared that up”, Bucky says before he bites down his bottom lip.

Steve moves backwards and Bucky almost complains until he sees Steve pulling his shirt over his head, after that, the blond hooks two fingers on the waistline on Bucky’s pajama pants, and Bucky moves his hips up to let Steve pull down his pants and underwear, freeing his half hard cock, but he doesn’t grabs it at first, he just rests his palms on Bucky’s knees and looks up at him under those long eyelashes.

“Tell me more, what did you thought about me?” Steve wonders.

“When I finally got to know you better, I was sure I wanted you all for myself”, Bucky places his hands on each side of Steve’s face and leans forward to bring their lips together, the kiss is hot and sweet at the same time, their tongues warm against each other’s while their breathing fastens through the kiss. The blond’s hands travel down to the hem of Bucky’s shirt and pulls it up breaking the kiss to take it off, he didn’t put on his brace after he got out of the shower, _great, less clothing._

“I used to try to picture you naked every time I saw you at a show all sweaty and hot”, Bucky confesses.

“You did?” Steve asks before he grabs Bucky’s hand and puts the thumb inside his mouth, sucking on it and swirling his tongue around it while he continues to look into Bucky’s eyes, the brunet frowns his eyebrows together, imagining it’s his dick instead of his finger inside of that warm and wet mouth.

“Yeah”, Bucky nods biting down his lip, “I liked to masturbate thinking about you”, he whispers, Steve let go of his hand and moves forward, he kisses Bucky’s thigh and up to his crotch without touching his dick at all.

“And?” Steve asks.

“I imagined it was your mouth instead of my hand”, Bucky’s hands move up again to the backrest as his gaze lowers down to see what Steve is doing, he finally puts his lips on Bucky’s cock and breathes against it, placing a few kisses on the head, Bucky claps his lips together when he feels the warm air against his sensitive skin, Steve looks up to him and lifts and eyebrow to indicate Bucky to continue.

“When I finally saw you without a shirt…” he takes a deep breath when Steve gives a few teasing licks on his cock while his hands rest on his thighs, “back at the Red Room, I wanted to take pictures with my eyes, I didn’t want to blink, I thought if I did I would miss something”, he says. Steve puts the head of Bucky’s dick inside his mouth and sucks it gently, and Bucky feels like burning when Steve circles his tongue around it and slurps against it.

“Aww, shit”, Bucky hisses squeezing his eyes shut.

Steve continues sucking just the head while one of his hands is fisted around the base of Bucky’s dick, he pulls and twists his wrist with just the right amount of pressure that makes the brunet’s dick harder. Bucky starts breathing through his mouth until Steve let him go completely and pulls back, the brunet makes a whining noise and huffs.

“You were saying?” Steve asks with a smirk, his cheeks and ears flushed red and his pupils open wide, “if you stop talking, I’ll stop what I’m doing”, he warns.

“Steveeeeeee”, he yammers, the blond lifts an eyebrow at him, “fine”, he gives in.

_He wasn’t lying about the torture._

“I uh… I liked to finger myself and think it was you inside of me”, Bucky confesses, his cheeks blushed, his face and neck feel hot when Steve moves forward again and puts his lips on Bucky’s dick and continues where he left off.

“I screamed your… oh shitttt…” Bucky let his head fall back on the top of the backrest and squeezes his eyes shut when Steve opens his mouth wide, his tongue starts to move under Bucky’s hard cock while he takes every inch of Bucky’s shaft inside, he stops for a second without pulling back and Bucky remembers he’s supposed to be talking, “I used to scream and cry your name when I finished, wishing….” He manages to say before a loud moan escapes his mouth, Steve ducks down and takes Bucky’s dick inside his mouth, _all in_ , and Steve just continues to pull his tongue out, slick and wet under Bucky’s hard cock.

“Wishing it was you… the one that… that made me come”, Bucky says between breaths looking up at the ceiling.

The blond purses his lips against Bucky’s dick and trails slowly, the pressure of those soft, wet and tick lips around his shaft making his blood run fast and hot all over his body, his heart throbbing loudly inside his ribcage.

“Oh Steve… Stevie…”, Bucky whimpers when the blond moves up and down around his cock a couple of times and stops with all of Bucky inside, nuzzling his nose on the trimmed hairs on the base of Bucky’s dick.

“The first time we did something, on Halloween…” Bucky bites down the inside of his cheek when he makes the mistake to look down and sees how his dick is going in and out of Steve’s mouth, he looks back up again quickly, he’s going to come faster if he keeps staring, “that’s one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time”, he confesses.

Steve starts to bob his head up and down on Bucky’s dick; saliva dripping down on Bucky’s testicles while Steve cups them with his hand gently, “just like that, just…” Bucky moans when Steve continues to suck like his life depends on it, the brunet isn’t coming undone just yet but Steve makes it so hard to last because he’s a _total pro_ in giving blowjobs.

“When I was on tour...” _breath in_ , “I tried not to…” _breathe out_ , “to think about you too much…” _breath in_ , “just the thought of…” _breathe out_ , “of being with you…” _breath in_ , “made me feel horny…” _breath out_ , “worst than a teenager”, Bucky chuckles.

The other man slows down his pace for a moment, breathing through his nose but still going up and down like he has no gag reflexes at all, _maybe he doesn’t,_ Bucky looks down again and Steve is looking back at him with those blissful blue eyes almost gone black.

“I uh… I shifted in my chair all day…” Bucky continues, looking down at Steve, he let go of Bucky’s cock and opens and closes his mouth a few times, probably to make his jaw more comfortable but he continues stroking Bucky with his hand, “and I thought about you inside of me last night”, he says.

Steve places his free hand on the back of Bucky’s neck and pulls his head towards him and brings their lips together, Bucky can taste himself inside Steve’s mouth, salty and hot against his tongue, “fuck me, Steve, please”, he begs. The blond releases Bucky’s dick slowly, one last twist on his wrist before he stands up and looks down at Bucky with lust.

“Go upstairs and wait for me, I’ll be right up”, Steve demands.

Bucky does as told and stands up quickly, he moves around the couch and up to Steve’s room, excitement and anticipation making him feel desperate for what’s on Steve’s mind.

***

_Was that too bold?_

_Is it too much_?

Steve isn’t sure, Bucky went on with it and he seemed to be enjoying it too, Steve loves to tease Bucky like this, to see him struggling with himself, pleading for Steve not to stop, Steve wasn’t going to stop, _how could I?_ But he’s just _a little shit_ , as Sam and Clint like to say. Witnessing Bucky fighting to keep himself grounded and trying to talk the way Steve asked him to, it was so cute and arousing at the same time, hearing him confess those things while Steve sucked the brunet’s cock made them even better, _I could do it all day_. He wasn’t planning anything, he just started with what came to mind first, and apparently, it wasn’t such a bad idea.

The blond moves quickly to the kitchen to check the lock on the back door, Captain is sleeping on his bed, the curtains are already closed and the front door secured. If it wasn’t for his aching hard cock inside his pants he would make Bucky wait a bit longer, _maybe some other time_ , he trots up the stairs and into his room right away. He sees Bucky spread on the bed like Steve told him to, but he has his eyes squeezed shut and his lips pressed together into a thin line, one hand rubbing his belly and the other down around his dick, _he didn’t wait for me_.

Bucky looks like a vision lying on Steve’s bed, his naked body relaxed and sweaty, Steve leans against the doorframe of his room and starts stroking himself under his clothes, he clasps his teeth together at the pleasure of having his warm hand around his hard cock, he doesn’t plan on staying like this for too long, Bucky wants Steve to fuck him, _and that is what I’m going to do_ , but being able to see all of Bucky like this makes his heart ache with happiness.

When Steve finally clears his throat, Bucky’s eyes fly open, the brunet lifts his head a bit to look at Steve, Bucky frowns his eyebrows when he notices that Steve has one of his hands down inside pants and a smirk on his face, “have you been standing there for too long?” Bucky asks.

“Long enough”, Steve informs with a nod.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Bucky wonders, he supports his upper body on his elbows to take a better look at Steve.

“You didn’t wait for me”, Steve tsks his tongue shaking his head, “besides you seemed to be having fun all by yourself, I might as well just stay here”, he shrugs a shoulder.

“Oh, c’mon!” Bucky whines.

“I don’t know Bucky, I think you don’t need my help anymore”, Steve pulls his hand out of his pants and starts walking towards his side of the bed, he can feel Bucky’s eyes on him the whole time.

“Yes, I do, I need you, I want you, please”, Bucky begs, he’s sitting down by now looking at Steve with wide eyes.

Steve sits down on the bed next to Bucky facing him, he cups the side of Bucky’s face in his hand, his thumb rubbing Bucky’s lips before the brunet gives it a kiss, Bucky’s hands are pulling at Steve’s waistband but his eyes are staring back at Steve’s, “I’ll be good, I swear”, Bucky whispers.

“You are, baby, you are”, Steve nods, “you know I’m just messing with you, right? I’ll never leave you hanging like that, I’m just teasing you”, he says.

“I know, handsome”, Bucky smiles, “and I’m loving this, believe me, I kinda did it on purpose”, he confesses bating those long and dark eyelashes of his.

“Oh, you did? Then, you’re going to love what’s next”, Steve wiggles his eyebrows at him.

“I know I will”, Bucky leans forward to plant a kiss on the corner of Steve’s mouth, Steve can’t help but smile wide at him, “you’re wearing too many clothes”, the brunet says to him, his hands roaming up and down Steve’s chest, his fingertips warm and soft. Steve kisses Bucky’s jaw, chin and mouth, his hands brushing Bucky’s hair away from his face while the brunet circles his thumbs around Steve’s sensitive nipples making him shiver.

“Okay, lay down again”, Steve says standing up, he pulls down his pants along with his boxers finally freeing his hard cock that stands up against his lower abdomen, “since you already touched yourself without me, you’re not going to do it again until I say you can, understood?” Steve says while he opens the drawer to pull out a condom and the bottle of lube.

He’s taking his time doing such little task, placing them carefully on the edge of the nightstand. He kneels down and picks up his clothes and folds them neatly before he places them on a chair by the far away wall, he doesn’t look back at Bucky but he can feel Bucky staring at him.

“That’s not fair, you were taking too long!” Bucky whines as soon as Steve moves back to the bed, “you weren’t lying when you said that tickles were nothing, right?” he mutters.

“Always impatient”, Steve shakes his head, “and no, even if I wanted to, people say I don’t know how to lie”, he shrugs a shoulder looking down at Bucky already lying back in bed, “remember, you can tell me to stop anytime, doesn’t matter”, Steve smiles.

“Okay”, Bucky grins back.

Steve moves to the edge of the bed where Bucky’s feet are moving hastily, he kneels down on the mattress and looks up to see that Bucky is staring down at him with his hands placed haphazardly over his abdomen, “put your hands over your head”, Steve demands.

“What?!” Bucky’s head jolts back up with his eyes wide, “I can’t touch myself and I can’t touch you either?” he asks in outrage.

“That’s right”, Steve nods slowly and Bucky pretends to cry, yammering and whining until Steve starts to crawl looking up at Bucky, the brunet shushes right away and stares down at Steve as his hands go up to the headboard, the blond’s weight supported on his hands and knees with Bucky between them.

He moves slowly and stops when his mouth is in reach of Bucky’s glistering cock but he doesn’t touch it at all, he starts kissing everything around it, his thighs, hipbones, lower abdomen until he reaches his navel, he licks a long strip with the flat of his tongue up to the center of his chest, Bucky let out the tiniest moan while he breathes through his open mouth.

Steve starts to rock his hips back and forth, their erections rubbing together, pre-cum mixing with each other’s while Steve puts his attention to one of Bucky’s pierced nipples, flicking the area with the tip of his tongue up and down while he looks into Bucky’s eyes, the brunet whimpers with his teeth biting down his lower lip. Steve closes his eyes and puts his lips around Bucky’s nipple and begins sucking it into his mouth, licking it and softly nibbling it with his teeth, when he releases it, it’s red and swollen and Steve blows his warm breath against it.

“Aww, shiiiit”, Bucky hisses and shivers under him, he let go of the headboard and crosses his arms over his head, his fingernails digging into his own forearms.

He chuckles over Bucky’s skin, placing kisses on the center of his chest and next to the other nipple to repeat the process while Bucky tilts his head backward and further into the mattress. When he’s finally satisfied with the way that Bucky’s nipples look, hard and flushed against the shiny metal of the piercings, Steve kisses and sucks Bucky’s collarbones and up to his neck, leaving a trail of red marks behind until he nibbles the brunet’s earlobe into his mouth, Bucky moans loudly into Steve’s ear, the blond does the same to the other side before he starts crawling up again.

When Steve’s knees reach Bucky’s armpits, he stops and moves his chest up and kneels so he’s now looking down at Bucky, the other man between his spread legs, his cock twitches in excitement every time he feels Bucky’s warm breath against it, the brunet looks up between Steve’s face and down to his hard dick. Bucky licks his lips like he’s hungry for Steve’s dick, he places his left hand over Bucky’s forearms and squeezes a bit to prevent him to move his arms, “if your shoulder hurts, tell me”, he instructs looking down at Bucky’s eyes, the brunet nods right away.

Steve grabs his shaft with his free hand and traces Bucky’s wet lips and piercing with the red tip of his cock, Bucky closes his eyes and parts his lips a little letting just the tip of his tongue out to taste Steve’s pre-come, “you want this?” Steve whispers.

“Mmhhm”, Bucky’s eyes fly open and he nods his head.

“What was that?” Steve teases, “I can’t hear you, do you want it?” he asks firmly this time.

“Yes, please”, Bucky say, _and oh shit_ , Steve can listen to him beg like that all night.

“Open your mouth, baby”, Steve instructs, and Bucky opens it even before he finishes saying it, “wider, I wanna see your tongue”, he demands. Bucky closes his lips and Steve sees as Bucky’s Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows hard and opens his mouth again, this time wider and sticks his tongue out like Steve told him to, his eyes are almost black and his stare hot looking up at Steve.

“Just like that”, he praises, Bucky doesn’t smile since he has his mouth wide open but Steve can see in the brunet’s eyes that he wants to.

He places the head of his cock on the tip of Bucky’s tongue and shifts his cock from side to side; letting Bucky taste it properly while Steve tries to keep his breathing under control. Steve fists his hand around the base of his cock and starts to push slowly inside Bucky’s mouth trying not to choke him as his other hand keeps Bucky’s arms over his head.

Steve moves in and out of Bucky’s mouth carefully, not pushing all of his cock inside yet as he controls it with his hand, the underside of his dick wet and slick over Bucky’s tongue, his mouth is still open wide and his breath hot against Steve’s shaft making him purse him lips together into a thin line to prevent a loud moan to come out of his mouth. He pulls it out completely, his movements slow over Bucky’s tongue, dragging out of his mouth a string of saliva.

“Do you want it deep?” Steve asks, Bucky nods looking up at Steve, “Do you want me to fuck your mouth?” he says.

“Choke me with it”, Bucky whispers, his voice low and raspy.

“Are you sure?” Steve wonders, one hand still holding Bucky’s arms and the other cupping Bucky’s head, his thumb brushing his cheek, right under his micro-dermals.

“Yes, please”, the brunet nods again.

Bucky opens his mouth wide again to invite Steve’s cock inside, the blond guides his dick with his hand again and retrieves it as soon as Bucky closes his mouth around the thickness of his shaft, Bucky starts sucking it tightly and savor it with his eyes close and Steve moans this time, not too loud but not too quiet as he normally would, Bucky hums against Steve’s cock in success. Steve doesn’t know what to do with his free hand so he brushes Bucky hair away from his forehead while he starts to push inside of Bucky’s mouth even further, the brunet’s mouth feels amazing around Steve’s cock and when the tip reaches the back of his throat, the blonde pulls out slowly to push in again and let Bucky accustom to the feeling.

That’s the expression, and Steve is going insane. The blond starts thrusting inside Bucky’s mouth with a slow and steady pace until the brunet is able to take Steve’s dick deeper without gagging, that’s when Steve’s hips rock back and forth faster as his cock hits the back of Bucky’s throat, fucking him into the mattress while his grip grows tighter around Bucky’s arms and Steve holds to the headboard with the other hand, arching his back to push inside. Bucky chokes around his cock a few times, the contractions of his throat feel like blissful glory around Steve’s dick, some tears roll out from the outer corners of the brunet’s eyes and that’s when Steve decides to slow down, he doesn’t want to come like this, he can’t come like this, _not before Bucky_.

Steve leans back from the headboard, frees Bucky’s arms and pulls his dick out of the brunet’s mouth, he moves backwards until his knees are on each side of Bucky’s hips and their dicks rubbing against each other’s again, he leans forward to kiss Bucky’s forehead; he passes his thumb around the other man’s mouth to clean the saliva that is falling down his chin before he starts kissing Bucky’s cheeks, nose, forehead, eyebrows, chin, jaw and last but not least, his mouth, those pink and gorgeous lips; tasting himself on that wet mouth while his hands cup Bucky’s face, the brunet hums and moans against Steve’s tongue.

Bucky clears his throat, “holy shit, that was the hottest thing ever”, he says.

“You’re the hottest thing ever”, Steve smirks and Bucky blushes. Steve thinks that’s one of his best achievements: being able to make a handsome, gorgeous and unique man like Bucky blush, “hey, but we haven’t finished yet”, he adds leaning back up again, “I have to take care of this”, Steve fists his right hand around Bucky’s hard cock and strokes it a few times, Bucky hisses at the contact and his hands go down to his sides and holds tight to the blanket under him.

He moves out of the bed and Bucky whines right away, Steve grabs the lube and a condom from the nightstand and goes back to bed immediately, “turn around, on your fours”, Steve commands.

The brunet obeys and supports his weight on his hands and knees and looks back over his shoulder, Steve positions himself on his knees behind Bucky, he licks his thumb and passes it over Bucky’s tight hole, the brunet’s head falls forward and arches his back to let Steve have a better view, Steve places his hands on each of Bucky’s ass-cheeks and opens them wider with his thumbs to expose exactly what he wants to see.

He licks a long strip with the flat of his tongue from Bucky’s scrotum, to his perineum and up to his hole, concentrating more in the latter, he flicks his tongue around the tight ring on muscles, the same movements like the night before, but this time faster. Steve considers for a moment on stroking Bucky’s dick while he licks his hole but he knows Bucky will come faster if he does, so he keeps his hands squeezing Bucky’s buttocks.

Bucky whimpers and cries Steve’s name over and over, loud and clear, and the blond just continues sucking and flicking Bucky’s hole, making him wet all over, “your fingers, please”, Bucky cries, Steve reaches to the side and grabs the bottle of lube to coat his fingers with the liquid and moves back to his position behind the brunet.

***

_Holy fucking shit._

Steve touching him, Steve kissing him, Steve sucking him, Steve stroking him, Steve holding him, Steve choking him, Steve rimming him, Steve fingering him.

_Steve, Steve, Steve._

“Steeeeeeve”, he moans loudly.

Bucky has his hands fisted on the blankets while he tries to keep his head up and his back arched when Steve starts to put his finger inside of him, first one slick finger that goes inside easily, then another and another, his arms and legs trembling and threatening to give in. Currently he has three fingers inside of him, Steve twists his wrist and scissors his fingers to keep Bucky’s hole open while he bites down and licks Bucky’s ass-cheek. When Steve notices that Bucky is loose enough, he adds another finger, his hand moving in and out of him and Bucky continues screaming and whimpering asking Steve for more.

“Are you ready, baby?” Steve asks before he kisses Bucky’s lower back. Bucky looks back over his shoulder and Steve is staring back at him, his fingers still inside of Bucky, the brunet nods but Steve lifts an eyebrow at him, “what was that?” Steve wonders.

“Fuck me hard, please”, Bucky begs.

Steve leans to the side to grab the condom and opens it with his teeth, he presses his lips into a thin line while he rolls it on, he frowns and closes his eyes, after that, the blond opens the bottle of lube again and moves behind Bucky one more time, Bucky hisses when he feels the lube that Steve squeezes over his hole. Steve teases Bucky’s hole with the head of his cock, spreading the lube around the area before he finally starts to push inside of him. Bucky bites down his bottom lip when Steve places his hands on Bucky’s hips to keep him in place and moves the head of his dick further into Bucky.

“Fuck, you’re so big”, Bucky cries, “don’t stop”, he adds quickly, shaking his head.

And Steve doesn’t stop, he just keeps pushing forward and Bucky feels like it takes forever until Steve’s hipbones finally touch his buttocks, Steve holds Bucky’s hips tighter and starts to pull out slowly, then he pushes inside again but this time a bit faster, then out but not completely, and repeats the process, in and out, in and out, the same pace for a few seconds until he pulls it out completely and forces it back inside faster, this time he rams it in hitting Bucky’s prostate with the head of his cock and the brunet cries, a jolt of pleasure running all over his body.

“Aaww, shit”, he hisses, “right there”, Bucky moans, he feels his shoulders and elbows go weak so leans forward and rests the side of his face on the mattress, his arms folded with hands over his head.

Steve continues to thrust faster and faster, the obscene slap from skin on skin and Bucky’s screams taking over the silence of the room, while Steve grunts and breathes loudly through his mouth. Bucky feels his hard cock swing between his legs every time Steve slams himself into Bucky, the brunet moves one hand down his body to touch his aching dick, but Steve must have notice.

“Give me your hands”, Steve demands. Bucky whines but obeys, he places his hands on his lower back and Steve grabs both of Bucky’s wrists with the right hand and holds them tightly together, the blond’s left hand still on Bucky’s hip.

This is by far the best sex that Bucky has ever had, and it’s not just because Steve knows how to do it so well, but because this is Steve, because Bucky can tell him to stop right there and he wouldn’t even be mad, _not that I plan to stop_ , Steve cares about him, he asks what Bucky wants and does it without a question, he takes care of Bucky, he wants to please Bucky.

“Spank me”, Bucky whispers.

“Bucky…” Steve says.

“Please, do it”, he begs.

The blond moves his left hand from Bucky’s hip and back to his ass, he rubs the palm of his hand before he strokes Bucky with it, he doesn’t hit him hard because he’s clearly scared of hurting Bucky.

“Harder”, Bucky demands, Steve pulls his hands behind his back to keep thrusting his cock inside Bucky’s tight hole. Steve spanks him again, this time a tad harder, but still not enough, “again”, Bucky says.

The next thing Bucky feels almost makes him come right there, Steve spanks him with the right amount of force this time, not too soft but not too hard, it’s sure going to leave a mark but the sting of pain combined with Steve’s thrusts pulling Bucky’s hands towards him, _it’s fucking heaven_ , and Bucky moans so loud that he’s sure that a few neighbors might have heard him. The blond rubs the area he just slapped soothingly and changes his hands to repeat it on the other side, the feeling equally overwhelming.

Steve frees Bucky’s arms and the brunet supports his upper body on his hands, Steve leans forward and starts kissing Bucky’s back until he reaches the brunet’s neck, he places his left hand on Bucky’s hip again and his right arm across Bucky’s chest and pulls back, making Bucky arch his back against his broad chest.

Bucky doesn’t know how he does it, _but fuck, this man_.

The change of position is perfect, Steve scrunching his abdomen to keep fucking his way up into Bucky while the brunet just screams and moans Steve’s name. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good”, Steve whispers, hot breath against his ear before he sucks Bucky’s earlobe into his mouth.

Bucky places his right hand over Steve’s where it rests around the base of his neck and squeezes a little to instruct Steve the way he wants him to do it, holding him in place by the neck without choking him completely, and Bucky puts his left hand on Steve’s nape while the blond bites and sucks the back of Bucky’s neck. Like this, he’s close, _so fucking close_ , his dick swinging up and down, still achingly hard and licking pre-cum into the blanket while Steve continues to hold him against him with his huge cock buried inside Bucky’s ass.

After a couple of minutes Steve let go of Bucky and pulls out, Bucky whines at the loss but he’s also glad because his back was starting to hurt, “on your back”, Steve nods towards the headboard and Bucky lies down and opens his legs immediately.

Steve takes his place between Bucky’s legs, and then starts pushing his cock inside again, he grabs Bucky’s ankles and opens his arms wide holding the brunet’s feet in the air while he arches his back to thrust into Bucky, in and out picking up his pace.

Bucky wonders for a second if it would be too rude if he gets out of bed and fishes for his phone to take a picture, _because holy shit_ , the way that Steve looks is something he doesn’t want to forget, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, his face and neck flushed, his chest glistering with drops of sweat running down his muscles, and Bucky just wants to touch him all over. He places his hands on Steve’s hips to help him push forward into Bucky, Steve keeps going in and out, the muscles on Bucky’s ass stretching around the thickness of the man’s shaft, it feels so _fucking_ good, and so _fucking_ right that by that moment Bucky is just screaming nonsense into the room.

Steve closes Bucky’s legs again but instead of doing the same thing as the previous night, he pushes them forward, placing his hands on the back of Bucky’s thighs, bringing Bucky’s knees up to his chest and almost touching his collarbones folding him in half. Steve never stops thrusting, Bucky’s ass is hanging in the air, like this Steve is hitting just the right spot with every push and Bucky moans even louder while he tries to hold onto the edge of the mattress over his head.

***

 _Jesus fucking Christ_.

Steve is far away by now, spanking Bucky is one of the most erotic yet horrifying things he’s ever done, when Bucky asked of course he wanted to do it, but what if he used too much force? What if was just the trill of the moment? Steve doesn’t want to hurt Bucky, it makes him sick just to think about it, but with Bucky begging him to do it he couldn’t say no, _so I did it_ , and Bucky demanded him to do it harder every time. As soon as Steve’s hand slapped Bucky’s buttock, the muscles from the brunet’s ass contracted around Steve’s cock adding extra pressure while he kept thrusting inside and it felt like _fucking_ glory along with the moans coming out of Bucky’s mouth.

By now, Steve is fighting with himself not to come yet as he keeps hitting Bucky’s prostrate when he pushes inside into Bucky’s hole, the brunet cries louder. Steve leans forward and kisses him, Bucky’s calves on Steve’s shoulders while Bucky moans into Steve’s mouth. Bucky is close and Steve can feel it around his cock, even if he hasn’t touch Bucky’s dick at all. The brunet puts down his legs and wraps them around Steve’s waist right away, the man’s heels digging into Steve’s buttocks, Steve moves his hands up to Bucky’s head and he laces his fingers with the brunet’s to keep them over his head while his mouth lingers down on Bucky’s throat, licking and sucking at the tender skin.

“Just like that, don’t stop, don’t stop…” Bucky pleads.

_And I didn’t stop._

“Shit, Steve…”

“Stevie”, more moans and cries.

“Harder, please…”

“Steve…”

Bucky is practically yelling by now, tilting his head backwards into the mattress while Steve fucks him deeper and faster with his hands holding Bucky’s over his head, Steve just grunts and breathes in and out through his open mouth.

“Baby…” Steve whispers, “we have neighbors, Buck”, he chuckles awkwardly.

And of course, Steve should have seen that coming, it’s like he told Bucky to scream louder because that’s exactly what he does, whimpering Steve’s name over and over again. Steve holds Bucky’s wrists with his left hand and puts his right hand over the brunet’s mouth to silence him, Bucky squeezes his eyes shut while continues moaning into Steve’s hand, but all that comes out is muffled sound from the back of Bucky’s throat as his dick leaks pre-cum onto his belly.

When Bucky’s screams finally cease, Steve removes his hand from the brunet’s mouth and cups Bucky’s face with it as he brings their mouths together, sucking Bucky’s piercing just the way he likes it, he’s close, _right fucking there_ , that he feels relieved the next time Bucky speaks again.

“Steve”, Bucky sighs, “I’m gonna…fuck, I have to…” he says frowning.

“Okay, let me just…” Steve whispers and tries to lower his right hand to start stroking Bucky’s cock with it.

“No, no, just…” Bucky shakes his head, “just kiss me”, he pleads.

“I’m here, baby, I’m right here”, he assures with a nod.

Steve supports his weight on his hands that are placed on the bed on each side of Bucky’s head, his knees carrying his lower body as he arches his back, rocking his hips back and forth to keep thrusting inside Bucky to drive him to the edge of his orgasm, the brunet cups Steve’s head with his hands and pulls it towards him clashing their mouths together, all wet lips and tongues as Bucky comes over his stomach with his dick untouched.

Steve feels right on his dick the spasms that take over Bucky’s body, his hole tightening around the blond’s cock, that’s the last push that Steve needed to send his own orgasm through the roof, the pressure overwhelming as Bucky keeps moaning even after he finishes, his body already going lax under Steve, the brunet places his hands on Steve’s hips to encourage him to keep thrusting deeper, _and goddamn_ , he does. He bits down his bottom lip and tilts his head backwards; his eyes close tightly while he begins pumping his semen inside Bucky’s ass, his body jerking with spasms as his orgasm runs all over him.

He’s holding his body weight with the last strength he has in him, he doesn’t want to fall and crush Bucky’s chest, he opens his eyes slowly and blinks a few times to clear his vision, when his gaze moves down at Bucky, he’s looking up at Steve with hooded eyes and a lazy smile on his face. Steve leans forward and pecks Bucky’s lips before he moves a few inches back and stares down at Bucky’s belly, white cum all over his navel and up to his chest. Steve pulls his dick out of Bucky slowly, he removes the condom from his cock and does a small knot on it before he tosses it into the trash can next to the nightstand.

He decides to bend forward again and without using his hands, he gives Bucky’s dick a little flick with the tip of his tongue before he puts all of Bucky’s shaft inside his mouth and sucks it clean, Bucky opens his mouth and frowns but he doesn’t make any noise this time, he just jolts in surprise because his cock is still too sensitive after his orgasm. Steve let go of Bucky’s dick and moves up to his lower abdomen; he gives him a few kisses before he looks up behind his eyelashes to see that Bucky is staring down at him.

With his mouth wide open, he sticks out his tongue and starts licking Bucky’s navel, his abdomen and chest, cleaning with his tongue all of Bucky’s seed and gathers everything he can in his mouth to swallow it whole, he doesn’t leave it on his mouth for too long, he just closes his eyes and gulps it down his throat, he isn’t looking at Bucky when he does it but he can feel Bucky’s eyes on him. Once he opens his eyes again, the blond notices that Bucky is still spread over the bed looking up at Steve with surprise in his eyes; the other man blinks a few times and tilts his head to the side.

“What?” Steve wonders with a smirk on his face.

“Nothing”, Bucky shakes his head.

Steve moves to his left and grabs the wet wipes he left on the nightstand the night before, he cleans his hands and Bucky takes the wipes from him to clean himself too, as soon as Steve reaches to leave the wipes on the nightstand again Bucky pulls him by the neck and kisses him passionately. Steve almost falls on top of Bucky but he manages to land on his side next to him, they peck each other’s lips a few times, no tongue, just lips, it’s cute and sweet, smiles on their lips until they start laughing about everything and nothing.

He lies on his back and puts his arm under Bucky’s head for him to use it as a pillow; Bucky sighs against his chest when he places his arm across Steve’s naked chest.

“I think we should get under the covers”, Steve comments and Bucky nods.

They struggle to get out of bed, trying to stand straight on their feet, but they manage to move the blankets and get under them to take their previous position. Both of them sigh a few times, Steve against Bucky’s head in between kisses and Bucky onto Steve’s chest, and they lay in silence like that for a few minutes until Bucky speaks again.

“You know”, Bucky looks up, “that’s never happened to me before”, he says.

“What?” Steve wonders.

“I’ve never come like that before, without my dick being touched”, he chuckles.

“Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything”, Steve shrugs a shoulder and Bucky laughs even more.

“Yeah, also, I can’t remember when was the last time somebody ate my semen”, he says and Steve’s cheeks blush, _of course_.

“Do you mind?” he wonders.

“Are you kidding? Not at all, on the contrary”, Bucky smirks and Steve lowers his head and kisses Bucky’s nose, “is it selfish if I say that I’m glad that everybody thinks you’re a saint so I’m the only one that gets to see you like this?” he asks.

“No, it’s not”, Steve answers, “I like to keep things private, what I do or not is nobody’s business but mine, and now yours, I guess”, he smiles.

“That makes me happy, you make me happy”, Bucky nods against Steve’s chest.

“Ditto”, Steve chuckles.

“I think I’ll have to text Clint in the morning”, Bucky comments.

“What? Why?” he asks.

“He told me that I should call him if I needed a wheelchair in the morning”, the brunet chuckles.

_Seriously?_

“Buckyyyy”, Steve whines, his face is probably tomato red by now, “when did he say that?” he questions.

“He was arriving at my place when I was leaving”, Bucky says.

“Clint, always the good friend”, Steve rolls his eyes.

“Yeah”, the brunet laughs.

After that, Steve reaches to the lamp to turn it off after he switches the alarm clock on; they fall into a comfortable silence again, Bucky nuzzling against his chest as Steve brings him closer with his arm. The brunet is the one that falls asleep first, and Steve follows a few minutes later, he drifts off with a thought on the back of his mind: his life is good, _it really is_ , but Bucky makes it so much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a new chapter c:
> 
> I'm gonna be completely honest here, I'VE MISSED YOU A WHOLE LOT! I'm glad we're at it again, this chapter was basically PWP, these guys and you deserve it <3
> 
> I really, really hope you're doing well, whether you're on winter break or you have work to do, I wish you the best. This is Holiday Season, and it doesn't matter what type of celebration you have, I hope it's a good one and you get to spend time with the ones you love, there's a lot of people out there going through hard times, specially this time of the year, if you have the opportunity to make someone else's day better, please, please, please, do so.
> 
> I'm not sure when I'm going to be posting the next chapter since I do celebrate Christmas and my birthday is next Sunday, and it might be a busy week but maybe you'll have a gift, from me to you, wait for it :D
> 
> As always, thank you so much foe reading this story and keeping up with me, it's overwhelming to know how far we've come, I love to read your opinions and comment so don't doubt in letting me know what you think, what you like the most and all.
> 
> xx


	52. Chapter 52

Today has been a good day, Steve woke up next to Bucky in the morning and he loved everything about it, even the grunts and complains as the brunet tried to get up. They got ready and ate some breakfast before they headed out of the house and started their routine.

The morning was over in no time, he spent the lunch break with his co-workers and it was nice, chatting about how their days have been and whatnot, he felt like he hasn’t spend much time with them lately. Hearing about what needs improvement but also new achievements since the store is having a lot of success, with more booked appointments than ever, it makes him feel thrilled about the things to come.

He has walk-ins during the day, and everything goes on smoothly, he doesn’t talk to Bucky at all during the day but he knows the brunet is really busy too since he’s trying to get everything under control before they leave for their Thanksgiving break.

“Steve, are you busy right now?” Darcy peeks her head inside the room.

“No, just cleaning here”, he says.

“You’re leaving now?” she questions.

He looks up to the clock over the door to check the time, “no, we’re still two hours away, aren’t we?” he chuckles.

“Yes, you’re up for another session today?” she questions.

“Yeah, sure”, he nods smiling.

“Sweet, you’re gonna like this one”, the girl says.

“How come?” he asks as he follows her into the lobby.

“Holy shit, he’s hotter in person”, a girl yells. The woman looks young, average height, thin but she has athletic complexion, brown hair, blue eyes and fair skin.

“Oh wow, you’re so funny”, a familiar voice with a sarcastic tone shushes the girl.

“Hey Phil, how are you?” Steve asks politely stretching his hand trying to ignore the stares from the girl next to him.

“I’m great”, the man nods, “this place looks awesome, with the new pictures and all”, he says pointing with his index finger around the place until the girl clears her throat to draw their attention.

“Hello there”, Steve smiles at her.

“Steve, this is Skye”, Coulson introduces, “she’s looking to get something, we came here to schedule but Darcy is telling me you have some time off”, the man says.

“Nice to meet you, Skye, you’re in luck”, Steve nods, “what do you want to get?” he asks her.

“Oh my god, this is happening, as in right now?” she opens her eyes wide and he chuckles, “I want something like a bird, maybe an eagle but I don’t want it to look patriotic, something more soft, maybe?” she explains.

“Freedom, is that want you want?” Steve lifts an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, exactly”, she nods with a wide smile on her face, the long bangs of her brown hair poking her eyes making her blink faster.

“Any style in particular?” Steve wonders.

“Not really, just let your imagination go wild”, she smiles.

“Where do you want it?” Steve questions.

“Right here”, she turns around and places her hand over her shoulder to indicate a spot on her right shoulder blade, “not too big”, she says.

“Perfect, I have something in mind, let me sketch it for you, and if you like it, we can get started, also we have some art-books there in case you see something you like, for suggestions”, he points at the table on the corner of the room.

“Awesome, thanks”, she smirks.

“I told you he was the one”, Coulson pats her shoulder before she walks away, “she’s my god-daughter”, the man comments.

“Oh, I see, how old is she?” Steve questions.

“She just turned eighteen this past July”, Coulson nods.

“First tattoo?” Steve questions.

“Yes, so be gentle”, the older guy chuckles.

“I’ll try”, he shrugs a shoulder, “get the paperwork done with Darcy and we can start in a few”, Steve nods, “there are snacks and beverages over there if you want something”, he points at one of the counters and the mini-fridge next to it.

“Thank you so much, Steve”, Phil smiles.

“You’re welcome”, Steve smirks back, “I’ll be right back”, he says before he walks away.

Steve goes back to his working station to get something sketched for the girl, ideas have been flowing well this past couple of days, he’s been feeling really confident about that, and just by the time he’s done with the sketch, his phone starts buzzing on top of the table, he smiles as soon as he sees the caller ID.

“Hello”, he answers.

“Hi, how are you?” the brunet questions.

“I’m fine, been busy all day, what about you?” Steve says.

“I’m okay, I’ll cut right to it”, the guy chuckles, “do you have plans tonight?” he wonders.

“Not really, got anything in mind?” Steve answers.

“Do you wanna come over? Natasha won’t be home, we could watch a movie or something”, Bucky suggests.

“Sounds good”, Steve hums, “not about the Natasha thing, but you know”, he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Stevie, I understand”, Bucky giggles.

“Okay”, Steve says, “although I could run a bit late here”, the blond sighs, “I’m about to start a piece and I don’t know how long it’s gonna take, first timer”, he explains.

“Sure, don’t worry about it”, Bucky comments, “just let me know when you’re on your way”, he says.

“Okay, I’ll see you later then”, Steve smiles even though Bucky can’t see him.

“Can’t wait”, Bucky cheers, he starts making kissy noises right before he hangs up.

Steve giggles as he tries to concentrate back to work, butterflies on his stomach and anticipation to see Bucky in a few hours. He quickly opens a new text window to send a message to ask Miles to leave extra food for Captain.

***

Bucky’s morning was perfect, waking up next to Steve, having breakfast with him and all, but then work was a bit boring, then he called Steve to invite him over and his day got way better although the time seemed to be going by slower than ever. As soon as the brunet is off work, he heads home and turns on the TV just to hear some noise on the background while he tries to tidy up a bit, not that the place is dirty or anything, just a few things out of place. Shortly after there’s the buzz on the intercom and Bucky’s lips spread wide into a smile.

He’s not sure if they’re having sex again or not, but it really doesn’t matter what happens, he likes spending as much times as he can with this man he appreciates so much, but it they do have sex, _I won’t complain_.

“Welcome to my humble abode”, Bucky says as he opens the door to his apartment.

“You say that as if I’ve never been here before”, Steve answers giving him a sweet kiss on the corner of his mouth before walking in.

“You hungry?” Bucky asks closing the door, then walks into the kitchen, Steve in tow after he tosses his jacket over the couch.

“Not yet”, the blond answers.

Bucky realizes at the same time he asks that there isn’t anything inside the fridge, because _obviously_ Natasha thought about the fact they’re both going away for the holidays and rationed their food appropriately.

“Me neither really, I had a big lunch, but we could order takeout later, it’ll be nice”, Bucky suggests.

“Sounds good”, Steve says sitting on the counter, “what were you doing before I got here?” he asks stretching his hands towards Bucky inviting him closer.

“I had clean clothes sitting on a basket in my room, they were there since forever ago so I was putting them away in the closet”, Bucky says walking towards Steve.

He places both of his hands on top of the counter to his sides, looking up at Steve he puckers his lips for a kiss, Steve grabs Bucky by the back of his neck and gets off the counter top, now he’s standing _impossibly_ close to him. Bucky tries to close the gap between them and kiss him, but Steve’s grip is strong, his other hand travels up his black polo, Bucky looks down and stares at it, the dark ink on Steve’s knuckles contrasting with his light skin.

“This is a nice shirt“, Steve says rubbing his fingertips on the small embroidered laurel on the chest, “but I think it’d be nicer off”, he comments as he undoes the buttons.

The blond smiles innocently and leans in to give Bucky little kisses on his jawline. He turns Bucky around and pushes him gently out the kitchen and into the corridor, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Where are we going?” Bucky asks between giggles while Steve keeps giving him sweet tiny kisses on his neck, tickling him and sending goosebumps down his spine.

“To your room”, Steve announces.

“Oh, I like where this is going”, Bucky sighs shakily.

“And we’re just getting started”, Steve whispers into his ear.

As soon as they get inside, Steve turns him around and strips Bucky’s shirt off pulling it by the hem and over his head, next he undoes the Velcro on Bucky’s shoulder brace and gets rid of it carefully but as fast as possible, he starts fondling with his nipples right away, tugging a bit at his piercings and teasing them with his fingers, making Bucky shiver in return.

They don’t bother to turn on the lights but the room has a dim and soft light coming from the window and it makes the whole thing even more exciting. This is incredible, Steve isn’t saying much but he’s working on Bucky’s body with a hunger he hasn’t seen before _._

_And he said he wasn’t hungry, well, at least not for food._

“Steve…” Bucky whispers.

“Yeah?” the blond sighs against the skin of his neck.

“Hey, Ste…hold on a second”, he says.

The blond stops dead on his tracks and leans back right away, his body going rigid against Bucky’s, “I’m…” he clears his throat, “I’m sorry”, Steve shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine”, he smiles, “just kiss me”, Bucky pleads and pulls the man closer.

Steve stands straighter and kisses Bucky tenderly this time, his lips soft on the brunet’s, Bucky’s piercing a bit cold as they part their lips against one another’s. Bucky places both of his hands on Steve’s shoulders, while the blond moves his hands down to Bucky’s belt and quickly undoes the buckle and pulls it off, all without abandoning Bucky’s mouth.

The other man moves his hand down further and rubs Bucky’s cock over his jeans, tugging at it and tracing it with his fingers, Bucky grunts and gasps against Steve’s ear. The guy smiles at him, he alternates to kiss and lick a strip on Bucky’s neck and down his chest, then he moves his head down and sucks one of Bucky’s nipples, flicking the tip of his wet tongue around it, then he does the same with the other and Bucky tilts his head backwards while his mouth hangs open.

When Steve is finally satisfied with how puffy Bucky’s nipples look, he ducks down on his knees and leans forward, he bites at Bucky’s hipbone making him moan in response while he marks the sensitive skin, he unbuttons Bucky’s pants and pulls them down along his boxers in one single swift movement and the brunet stands there speechless.

He grabs Bucky’s dick with one hand and opens his mouth, Steve sticks his tongue out while he looks up at him, then he proceed to lick Bucky’s cock from down his balls all the way to the head of his shaft.

Bucky gasps looking down at Steve, mesmerized and more aroused than ever, “mmhm...” he hums pulling Steve’s hair. The blond sucks the swollen tip gently into his mouth, humming a bit like it’s the best thing he has ever tasted, that’s when Bucky realizes that Steve is painfully overdressed, “Steve, take your clothes off”, Bucky whines.

The other guy smiles back up at him stroking Bucky’s cock with his hand, “in a sec”, he whispers.

_What the actual fuck, how can he look this adorable?_

Steve bobs his head down with Bucky’s entire dick inside his mouth, “fuck, Steve…” Bucky gasps while Steve sucks in hollowing his cheeks, “Steve… oh, shit!” he says clenching his hands against the man’s scalp.

Bucky is trying to keep his breathing under control right when Steve pulls off the brunet’s dick out of his mouth, he almost whines at the sudden lost of contact, the blond stands up and pushes Bucky back, making him fall right on top of the mattress.

“Condoms and lube?” Steve questions.

“That drawer”, Bucky points to the night table next to his bed, he crawls backwards on the bed, staring at Steve as the man searches for the stuff he requested.

***

Steve is nervous, he knows that if he told Bucky what he’s thinking about he probably will sound so out of control that Bucky would think he’s pushing him. But Steve wants this so bad, he knows that Bucky wants it too, but he will never ask, so he just went for it.

Since the moment Bucky called him that evening, the idea surged inside his mind and it wouldn’t go away, even though he’s not with Bucky for the physical aspects, _obviously_ , he can’t deny that Bucky drives him mad in that department. Steve has never acted like a horny teenager before, but when he’s around Bucky, he just can’t help it, perhaps it’s the way the brunet makes him blush when he looks at him with desire and lust, how he moans and pleads Steve touch him, or when he bites his lower lip and plays with his piercing, Steve just melts and feels his insides burn.

When he finally finds the lube and condom, he leaves them at the edge of the bed and looks down at Bucky, “stroke yourself for me”, Steve demands.

Bucky gulps loudly and closes his fist around his dick looking at Steve, his face in deep pleasure while he touches himself, his mouth slightly open and his other hand resting haphazardly over his chest.

Steve can feel his heart rate rising, blood rushing up his neck to his ears and down his dick as he looks at Bucky sprawl on the bed. He takes off his own shirt slowly, his tennis shoes and lastly his jeans and boxers, his erection flushed against his stomach, he takes a deep breath of determination and crawls over Bucky.

The brunet instinctively opens his legs to invite him in but Steve closes them and smiles up at him, Bucky frowns, his hands still on his dick. Steve lowers his head and begins licking him again, circling his tongue around the tip, Bucky moves his hands from his dick up to Steve’s hair immediately, pushing the short strands away from his face.

“Oh Stevie, just like that...” he hears him say.

Steve feels ecstatic, he loves Bucky’s taste on his mouth, the way he moves under him, he wants to make Bucky finish like this, _but maybe some other time_ , today he has other things in mind.

He sits back up on his knees and opens the condom placing the foiled packet between his teeth, and slowly places it on Bucky’s erection, his fingers working around it tightly and down to the root of his penis. He can’t help but chuckle at Bucky’s expression of surprise when he realizes what’s about to happen.

“Oh my god”, he says, “oh my god…” Bucky mumbles again, he places his hands on his own face, he even pinches himself a couple of times, “I can’t”, the brunet shakes his head.

“Buck?” Steve asks, he puts one hand around one of Bucky’s wrist and pulls down to uncover his face, he has a concerned look on his face and Steve frowns at him, “what’s wrong?” he questions.

“It’s just… I haven’t done this in a really long time”, Bucky says, “I don’t wanna hurt you”, the brunet worries.

“But, do you want?” The blond wonders.

“Of course I do”, the man answers.

“I haven’t done this in a while either, it’ll be fine”, Steve nods in encouragement, “okay?” he says.

“Okay”, Bucky sighs deeply. Steve ducks down one more time and pecks Bucky’s lips sweetly, their lips soft and warm.

When Steve leans backward, he takes the opportunity to pour some lube on his own hands. He starts warming it up on his fingers, then he separates his legs a bit more, Bucky’s legs between his, and begins opening himself, moving two fingers in circular motions around his opening, rubbing and pushing at the same time; he sighs a few times as he feels himself getting stretched with one hand, while the other is down next to Bucky’s hip for support. He bends down and starts sucking Bucky again, the entire head inside his mouth.

“Holy shit, Steve, wait…” Bucky chuckles, “Aahhh…” the brunet moans as Steve continues to open himself with the lube, almost three fingers going inside now.

He wasn’t lying when he said it’s been a long time since he did something like this but just by thinking about it makes his heart rate go up; he manages to open himself faster than expected, even though he does feel a bit tight, and it will probably hurt in the morning, but it’s not like he can’t take some pain, and this kind of pain he won’t complain about, he’s too excited to even care.

He gives a long lick to the side of Bucky’s shaft and smiles at him before he lifts himself up again and straddles himself over the other man’s cock. He grabs the brunet’s dick with one hand and guides it into his hole leaning over him, teasing him and circling the tip around his opening.

Bucky gasps while the tip of his dick enters Steve, he lowers himself slowly, grimacing a bit as the cock of the man under him stretches him even more, _yup,_ _still kinda tight_. Once it’s completely inside, Steve closes his eyes and sighs loudly a few times trying to soothe his breathing, adjusting to the feeling of being full and flushed all over. When he’s more accustomed to it, he leans forward to plant a messy kiss on Bucky’s lips, their mouths wet and their breaths hot.

And finally, when he’s ready, he shifts backwards and starts moving his hips up and down steadily, and as he continues to move a tad faster, he feels the tip of Bucky’s cock hit the right spot and he flinches a bit in return, his eyebrows knit together and his lower lip trapped between his teeth.

 _Oohhh, that’s it, that’s it_.

Bucky immediately moves his hips up to match Steve’s pace and it’s just what the blond needs. Steve stares down at him, the brunet spread on the bed under him with a delighted look on his face, his micro-dermals bright thanks to the light that’s coming from outside, the metal contrasting with his soft and glistered skin.

“Oh, baby”, Steve moans.

“Shit, you’re so tight”, Bucky sighs breathing through his open mouth.

“You feel amazing, don’t stop”, Steve shakes his head.

“Stevieee”, he whimpers, reaching up to kiss Steve again, placing his hand on the back of Steve’s neck to bring him closer.

Steve is in full bliss, still rocking his hips up and down while Bucky continues to move his, and with every shift he hits that sweet spot that drives him crazy. Bucky reaches down to Steve’s cock and the surprise almost takes him over the edge. Bucky smirks at that and starts stroking Steve slowly, his fist tight around the blond’s shaft, already liking pre-cum into the other man’s belly.

“I can’t believe this is happening”, Bucky chuckles taking a hold of Steve’s ass, squeezing his right buttock.

“Ngghh!!” Steve grunts as he speeds up the pace, “Bucky!” Steve moans louder as he slips down.

Bucky’s hips land on the bed completely; Steve anchors himself on his knees and shakes his hips back and forth a bit faster, “shit, like that”, Bucky hisses.

“Fuck, that feels great”, he says between breaths, “I should’ve started this way”, he moans, resting his hands on the center of Bucky’s chest, his palms spread wide open as he continues to move his hips.

_Still this isn’t enough, there has to be a faster way…_

***

“Steve, you look gorgeous”, Bucky whispers.

Bucky can sense the whole bed moving under them as Steve rolls his hips, the man is biting his lower lip and he’s red from chest to forehead, his blond hair all over the place, droplets of sweat falling down his skin.

_Like a work of art._

He lifts himself up into a sitting position and Steve slows down a bit, he manages to untangle his legs gasping into the air of his room, the blond’s dick wet against Bucky’s stomach. _That’s right, his room with Steve fucking Rogers_.

Steve’s head is a bit taller than Bucky’s but he leans down to kiss him, the blond fiddles with Bucky’s piercing and pulls it a bit with his teeth and the brunet moans in return, they share a wet and hungry kiss for a few seconds, their tongues swirling inside their mouths until they finally part gasping for air, Bucky starts kissing down Steve’s neck while his dick is still stretching the blond’s tight hole.

Steve is moaning clearly and Bucky loves every second of it, it’s like music to his ears and he doesn’t want him to stop anytime soon. Bucky has come to realize that Steve’s more verbal and the guy just grunts and gasps once in a while because he’s clearly more in control of his body, but right now, it’s a whole new experience. Steve is one hell of a power-bottom and Bucky could have seen that coming, _pun intended_ , but listening to him moan and asking Bucky to go in deeper feels like a dream.

One of Steve’s hands is on Bucky’s shoulder and the other one on his head, his fingers carding his brown hair. Steve is rocking his hips against Bucky, the pace is so slow but it feels so _damn_ good, so _fucking_ amazing and Bucky almost forgot about that sensation. He hasn’t done this in what it feels like an eternity and being able to do something like this with Steve, that he feels comfortable enough to share with Bucky such thing makes it even better.

_This is so fucking hot, I’m melting._

“Bucky…” he whispers, “I need you…” the blond gasps, “I need you to…” Steve says stopping all together, standing up a bit to get off.

Bucky gulps, he lifts his head up to look at Steve, “ you need me too?” Bucky frowns his eyebrows in question.

“Fuck me”, Steve whispers pushing himself back.

He’s sure he needs to hear it one more time to make sure he isn’t imagining things, “Steve, say that again”, he asks as the blond turns around, his knees on the bed and his ass up in the air in display.

“Fuck me”, Steve demands.

The brunet positions himself behind Steve, he takes a hold of his hips and guides his cock into that ring of muscles between Steve’s ass-cheeks, he places the red tip of his cock against it and pushes in painfully slow, he stares down looking as it disappears inside the blond, Steve’s hole stretching around Bucky’s hard cock.

“Oh Stevie, you’re so tight”, Bucky says moving in.

“You feel so good, baby”, Steve moans, “fuck me”, the blond whimpers.

Bucky gasps as he starts moving his hips, his dick going in and out of Steve, the blond moves his hips up, panting a bit faster and Bucky knows he’s hitting Steve’s prostate with every push. He was going to give Steve a pillow and push him forward, but instead, Steve stands up and as he does, he pushes back his ass driving Bucky deeper inside, he grabs Steve’s neck, his chest slick against Steve’s back and starts pumping rapidly into Steve, just like the blond did to him the night before.

Steve moves his hand back and holds himself by Bucky’s head, “Oh, baby!” he says, “I’ve wanted this for the longest time, you feel so good”, Steve moans.

“Yeah? You like that?” Bucky says reaching to grab Steve’s dick, stroking slowly with one hand, still holding Steve’s neck with the other as he gasps into the blond’s ear.

“Bucky”, Steve breathes, “don’t stop”, he says.

***

Steve feels like heaven, he doesn’t know what to do next, what to say, what he’s saying, and it feels fantastic; everything is hot and wet, and Bucky is all he wants. He tries to turn his head to kiss Bucky, it’s a sloppy kiss, open mouth and stickier than usual, but Steve couldn’t care any less and apparently Bucky either as he gasps into his mouth.

The blond knows he’s getting there every time that Bucky pumps into him, his hole stretched around his cock, “baby, I’m close”, Steve says. Bucky pushes his chest down and holds himself by Steve’s hips and starts moving in and out faster and impossibly deeper, “Bucky!” Steve is moaning loudly now, _maybe even louder than ever_ , Steve is sure he’s going to come fast.

Bucky pulls out all the sudden and Steve misses him already. The brunet taps Steve’s hip and he understands right away, he turns and rests his back against the mattress, spreading his legs to let Bucky position himself between them. Bucky clasps his arms around Steve’s knees to lift them up, he drives into him faster, his hips pressed against the back of Steve’s thighs as he moves forward, pumping in and out looking down at him. Steve runs his hand through his face and up to his hair, pushing it away from his sweaty forehead.

“You’re so perfect”, Bucky says, and Steve feels even redder now thanks to Bucky’s comment, “Stevie, touch yourself, I’m almost there”, Bucky pleads.

Steve lowers one hand and closes his fist around his own hard erection, pulling at the same rhythm that Bucky is pushing into him. He reaches up to kiss him just as he feels himself close, their faces hot and flushed. All the sudden, Bucky shudders while he comes inside, Steve closes the distance between their mouths with his free hand, placing it on the back of Bucky’s neck.

“Shit, Steve”, the brunet hisses, “I’m… coming”, he grunts into Steve’s ear.

“I got you, baby”, Steve whispers back.

Bucky lifts himself up a bit, holding his body weight with his hands placed on each side of Steve’s head. Steve strokes himself faster and returns to kiss Bucky, he gasps against the man’s lips, and in no time, he feels as if the air gets punched out of him, he closes his eyes tightly while he comes in long strips over his chest.

He holds Bucky with both arms against himself as he finishes, his lips still on the brunet’s. When the both of them finish, their chest rising up and down fast, they lay there entangled for a couple of minutes until their high comes to an end and their breathings even out. Shortly, Bucky pulls out slowly and Steve winces a bit, the brunet stands up taking off the condom and throwing it at the trashcan, turning on the light on the nightstand on his way there.

 _He’s so beautiful_.

Steve stares at him as the brunet walks back, tan and sweaty like the first time he saw him. Steve gulps lifting himself up into a sitting position and Bucky sits next to him, he leans forward and with the flat of his tongue he traces a bead of sweat that’s falling down on Bucky’s chest up to his neck, the brunet grunts in return.

“Does that bother you?” Steve questions.

“Not at all”, he shakes his head, “it’s just…you’re unbelievable, you’re amazing”, Bucky comments. Steve smiles shyly before he moves forward and kisses Bucky slowly, eyes closed, noses brushing, lips soft and tongues wet.

He bites down on his lower lip when he leans back into the headrest of Bucky’s bed, the brunet’s eyes on him, “that felt so good”, Steve whispers.

“Yeah, we should do it again”, Bucky replies with a chuckle.

“Sooner rather than later”, Steve winks at him.

Bucky smiles before he hunches down to the floor and grabs what appears to be a shirt and places it against Steve’s chest, helping him clean the uncomfortable drying cum on his skin, Steve giggles while Bucky looks concentrated tracing the muscles on his abdomen until he’s satisfied.

“I’m going to the kitchen, Imma get us some water, okay?” Bucky informs and Steve nods, “don’t go anywhere”, the brunet demands pointing his index finger at him.

“I won’t”, Steve chuckles shaking his head.

Steve looks at Bucky again as he walks to grab a pair of clean boxers from one of the drawers, the mess of hair on the top of his head, the scars behind his shoulder where the ink of his tattoo ends and the color of his skin begins, down his naked back, the curve of his ass, his _rock-hard_ and round ass-cheeks, his toned thighs and muscular calves, all of him, everything.

_Be mine, please._

***

“You’re staring again”, Bucky says putting on his underwear.

“I know”, Steve hums.

“Why?” Bucky wonders.

“Because I can”, Steve announces and Bucky smiles wide at him.

And now it’s his time to stare, Steve spread on his bed looks like a vision, something out of his best, sweet, intimate and _wet_ dreams. The blond resting his back against the headboard, his hair pointing into every direction in the cutest way possible, his face peaceful and his eyes blue as the ocean, the tattoo chest piece looking brighter than ever against his pale skin, his nipples barely there with the lightest shade of pink, his right hand over his abdomen and the left one on the bed, his dick going soft on his pelvic area, the left leg folded up at the knee and the right one spread on the mattress, and the few tattoos on his legs inviting Bucky to traced them with him fingers.

“Bucky”, Steve whispers bringing him back to reality.

“Yes?” he questions, his eyes still going up and down Steve’s body.

“The water?” the blond wonders.

“Right”, Bucky chuckles, “be right back”, he nods and turns around to head to the kitchen.

He walks laughing to himself, shaking his head while he moves his legs towards the counter where they keep the glasses. He pulls out a couple and drinks two full glasses before he fills them again, he manages to maneuver the glasses with one arm to turn off the lights with the other, he checks the front door and then walks back to his room.

When he enters, he notices that Steve is still sitting up but he’s already inside the covers, the man is browsing something on his phone but he puts it away as Bucky moves to take his place next to him. Bucky hands him a glass and places the other on the nightstand on his side of the bed, when Bucky folds the blankets to get under them he notices that Steve isn’t naked anymore.

“Buuuhhh, you’re wearing clothes!” Bucky chuckles.

“I had to try on like three pair of pants until I found one that didn’t cut my circulation”, Steve laughs before he drinks the whole glass of water in three big gulps.

“That’s why you should’ve stayed naked”, Bucky suggests shrugging his shoulders casually.

“How convenient”, Steve giggles lowering himself on the bed after he turns off the lamp.

Bucky does the same fixing the blankets over them; Steve lays on his right side facing him but the brunet shakes his head, “my turn to be the big spoon”, Bucky says.

“Oh, c’mon!” Steve exclaims, “but I’m bigger”, he comments.

“No buts, turn around”, Bucky demands

“Fine”, Steve huffs but does as told.

Bucky scoots closer to him and places his arm around Steve’s tiny waist, he hums happily giggling his body to get more comfortable. They lay in silence for a couple of minutes but Bucky can tell that Steve isn’t asleep yet and he confirms it when the blond sighs deeply.

“Bucky?” Steve whispers.

“Yeah?” Bucky says.

“Do you really think your parents are gonna like me?” Steve questions.

“Yes”, he announces.

“How can you be so sure? You don’t know that”, Steve sighs again.

“I know them, don’t worry about it”, Bucky says placing soft little kisses on the back of Steve’s neck.

“But what happens if they don’t like me?” Steve worries.

“I don’t care, I like you”, Bucky moves closer to Steve’s back, “is all that matters, nothing happens”, he tightens his grip around the blond’s waist.

“You promise?” Steve questions.

“I promise”, he answers.

Bucky does care about what his parents think, he loves them, but he wants to be with Steve so much and no matter what, he’s determined to ignore what they have to say if they don’t approve Steve, _like that’s gonna happen_. Steve is one of the best things that has ever happen to him, if not the best ( _don’t tell Nat I said that_ ) and he won’t let anybody ruin that, although he knows deep in his gut that his parents are going to love this man, but not as much as he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a gift from me to ya', hope you like it <3
> 
> As I mentioned before, my birthday is on Sunday and the upcoming week is probably going to be a bit busy, and I won't be posting anything until next year (sounds so dramatic, I know). I wish you get to spend New Year's Eve with the ones you love, have lots fun but be safe, and go get that New Years Eve kiss you deserve, doesn't matter if it's from your significant other, parents, siblings or even pets, a kiss is a kiss, right? :D
> 
> Like always, thank you so much for your kuddos, your lovely comments and all, I really appreciate it. You know I love hearing from you so don't be shy and come say hi or something, I'm always around to answer :*
> 
> HAPPY 2016 (in advance)!!!


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, don't hate me, I love you <3

“Steve…” there’s a soft knock on the door, “Tony is here”, Darcy says.

Steve looks over to the door, he’s sitting on his chair where he was zooned out into his sketchbook, “I’ll be right there”, he nods.

Today he’s going to continue with Tony’s tattoo, the outline is already done and now it’s time for coloring, Tony handled the pain really well the last time he was here, but either way it’s probably going to be a 3 sessions tattoo. He puts away his sketchbook and takes his phone on his way out; he notices he has a new text message from Bucky.

 **Bucky** : Tony is going your way; don’t believe anything he tells you unless is something nice I said c:

 **Steve** : Hahaha, okay. He just got here, we’ll see how it goes :d

 **Bucky** : Good luck :D

 **Steve** : Thanks :)

“Hey Tony, how are you?” Steve offers his hand as soon as he enters the lobby.

Tony shakes his hand and nods his head once, “Damn, Rogers, there wasn’t a smaller shirt, right?” he says, “texting your boy-toy?” the man points at Steve’s phone on his other hand.

“He’s not a toy”, Steve states angrily, narrowing his eyes at Tony.

He was going to comment something about the shirt not being his but he changed his mind. It’s not like he wants to explain he had an awesome time with Bucky the previous night at his apartment and he didn’t went home to change.

“Whatever”, Tony shrugs his shoulders.

“Are you ready?” Steve asks plainly.

“I was born ready”, Tony smirks, “Pepper sent you this”, he extends his left hand and hands him some papers.

“Thanks”, Steve grabs the offered envelopes.

“Let’s get this done”, Tony starts walking, “always a pleasure”, he says to Darcy with a wink, the girl huffs accompanied with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, “I’m going to say hi to the Vikings first”, the man adds trotting away.

Tony moves to the back to say hello to Thor and Loki who are on their respective working stations. Steve walks towards the counter and opens the envelope that has his name written on what seems to be cursive handwriting and not just scribbles.

_Stark Industries Annual Fundraising Auction & Gala_

_Mr. Steven G. Rogers_

_Our company is proud to announce you as one of the guests of honor of the evening; it would be a great pleasure to have your presence on this special date. As you might know, this is one of the most expected events of the year, we recommend you to RSVP as soon as possible._

_Happy Holidays!_

_Greetings,_

_Howard Stark._

_P.S._

_There will be fondue, you can’t say no to that!_

Steve chuckles a bit after he finishes reading _. Like father, like son._

The note is from Mr. Stark himself meant only for Steve; but there are also 3 actual invitations for the event with the reception for two people each. Steve sighs before he blows a low whistle, he puts the note back on the envelope, “holy shit”, he whispers.

“Is everything all right?” Darcy questions with frowned eyebrows.

“Yeah, it’s just…” Steve sighs again, “this is big”, he says handing her the envelope.

Darcy opens it and Steve stares at her as she traces the letters with her eyes, mouthing the words as she reads, “Steve, this is amazing”, she smirks.

“Pepper invited me some time ago and I said yes, now I’m not so sure”, he chuckles awkwardly.

“Why?” She wonders.

“She requested some art pieces for the expo that I can put on sale and a couple of others for the auction, she explained to me that some percentage is for the fundraiser and the other is for me, doesn’t seem fair”, Steve shakes his head.

“Steve, I know this is for a good cause, but please don’t give away your hard work, you deserve some merit too,” she smiles kindly.

“It feels like I’m just getting paid, fundraising doesn’t work like that”, he sighs.

“Just think about it as this: you’re contributing with your art and it’s gonna end up in some rich guy’s house, the same guy that is going to be paying you, the same guy that has probably a wife and three lovers and goes to The Hamptons every weekend”, Darcy jokes.

“Isn’t that like Robin Hood?” He says.

“Steve, you’re not stealing anything! Besides, do you know what that would do for the shop? It’s not just for you, but also for the people that work here, people like me for example, or everyone that supports you and believes in you”, Darcy explains.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, she also wants to action a few tattoo pieces, not just my work”, Steve gives her a little smile, “there’s 3 invitations, one’s for me and the others for Thor and Loki, I guess you’re going too”, he shrugs a shoulder.

“Niceeeee”, she wiggles her eyebrows, “it also means you get to see your man in a tux”, she said and the blond laughs along with her.

_Maybe this isn’t a bad idea after all._

“Well, got things to do”, he says over his shoulder as he starts walking to the back trying to ignore what picturing Bucky in a well tailored suit does to a particular area of his lower body.

“Hey, I’m done flirting with Loki, you’re next, Rogers!” Tony yells.

“Leave my man alone!” Darcy demands, “also, leave Steve alone, he’s taken!” she adds happily.

 _This is going to be a looong day_.

The first and half hour Tony just talk about a new project he’s working on with Bruce, or at least what he can talk about, while Steve continues to look at the man’s back as his hand works with the tattoo machine, adding colors, mixing and filling with different shadings.

The man hasn’t mention Bucky once and Steve’s glad for it, this is between the two of them and Tony tends to do snarky comments about everything, Steve is not sure if he has enough patience for that. Tony mentions the Fundraiser and Steve says politely that he’s happy to be a part of if.

“You’re bringing Bucky, I assume”, Tony says.

_Here it goes._

“Well, yeah, probably”, Steve answers. _If he wants to go, of course_.

“He’s winning Steve, this is not fair!” Tony comments looking back over his shoulder.

“Hey, stay still”, Steve’s demands, “winning?” He wonders.

_What is he talking about?_

“You, he’s winning you, I thought he had no chance”, Tony shakes his head.

“I’m not following”, Steve comments confused.

“With you, why him, why not me?” Tony chuckles.

“Do you really want me to tell you?” Steve returns with a huff.

“Good thing I’m not jealous, I hope Bucky isn’t either”, the man shrugs.

“Do you actually say things like that to people?” Steve wonders.

“Apparently”, he chuckles again.

“C’mon, Tony”, Steve sighs taking off his latex gloves, “we need a break”, he says standing up.

“Thank god!” Tony exclaims.

“We’ve talked about his, remember?” Steve says walking towards the back of the shop with a shirtless Tony behind him.

“Yeah, I just like to mess with you”, Tony shrugs a shoulder, “I’m way hotter, your loss”, he comments.

“Well, I beg to differ”, Steve smiles teasingly, “besides, we’re not compatible, it wouldn’t have ended well”, he adds.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, you’re really uptight for my taste”, Tony serves himself a glass of water.

And they have talked about it, when Steve recently met Tony he always liked to hit on him, no insinuations or subtle things, just plain ‘wanna fuck?’, ‘nice ass’, ‘let’s do a quickie’ and that sort of comments; the worst part is that Tony didn’t knew that Steve is bisexual and also, the man was already dating Pepper.

The first time that Steve met Pepper and Tony continued making those suggestions in front of her, Steve noticed that he acts like that with almost everyone; she just rolled her eyes and smacked Tony in the back of the head, and eventually Steve just learned to ignore Tony’s _tasteless_ comments.

“I didn’t knew you were afraid of commitment, though”, Tony smirks.

“Who said that?” Steve asks defensive.

“Since you’re just fucking Bucky”, Tony lifts an eyebrow, “I thought you were a ‘virgin till marriage’ type of guy”, he jokes.

“Tony, if you really think that I’m with Bucky just for sex, you really don’t know me at all”, Steve shakes his head.

“Everybody keeps saying that!” Tony laughs.

“Because it’s true”, Steve chuckles too.

“Then why aren’t you guys official?” he wonders.

“I don’t know, it’s…” Steve whispers looking down at his hands.

“Don’t say it’s complicated because it’s not, that man is fucking gone for you”, Tony smiles.

“You really think so?” he asks hopeful, “I wasn’t going to say complicated, though, more like not that easy”, Steve bites down his bottom lip.

“It’s easy, Bucky wasn’t always like this, he used to date a different dude every week, no strings attached and all, but suddenly there was this new guy he was interested in and he seemed more gleeful, it was like his brain melted”, Tony explains, “later on, I found out that it was you”, he adds with a shrug.

“Well, I really like him too”, Steve nods.

“You’re not kidding anyone, Rogers, you love him”, Tony laughs.

“I… I uh…” Steve mumbles.

“At least it’s good to hear you guys are on the same channel”, he says and starts to walk back towards Steve’s working station, “let’s get this over with”, Tony demands, Steve just stands there frozen on his feet with his eyes wide open staring at the man’s back.

_We are?_

***

Tony stopped by in the morning and informed him he was going to the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop, and he was kind enough to ask Bucky if he wanted to join, _sadly_ , he had to say no.

Not because he didn’t want to, but he figured it wouldn’t do any good for Steve, or him for that matter, they’ve been all over each other for the past three days and Bucky loves it, _but what if Steve doesn’t?_ Besides, he’s getting off early from work today to pack his things for the upcoming trip, where Steve and him are going to be together, _all day and all night_. And right now, he needs to complete as much as he can from his assignments so he won’t be set back on his work.

At the moment, he’s returning from a restroom break when his phone goes off inside the pocket of his jeans, he looks at the caller and smirks.

“Hey, Dum Dum”, Bucky answers cheerfully.

“Sup, man, I’m here with Gabe”, the man says, “yo, Buckyyyyyy!” he hears Gabe on the background.

“How are you guys doing? What are you up to?” He says taking his place behind the desk and puts the call on speaker.

“Not much, about to eat some lunch”, Dum Dum comments.

“Sorry, I haven’t call you but I’ve been kinda busy”, Bucky sighs.

“We figured!” Gabe laughs along with Dum Dum, “how’s your man?” he adds.

_My man._

“He’s fine, it was just an accident, that’s all”, Bucky informs leaning back on his chair.

“It’s good to hear that”, Dum Dum hums, “And as the Good Samaritan you are, you’ve been taking care of him, right?” he adds chuckling.

“Well, of course!” Bucky giggles.

“And, how are you?” The ginger man wonders.

“I’m…” _wonderful_ , “well…” _better than ever_ , “I’m okay”, Bucky settles to say.

“Dude, I can literally see your stupid grin from here”, Gabe says over a mouthful of his food.

“Yeah, you caught me”, Bucky chuckles, “I’m more than okay”, he nods even though his friends can’t see him.

“So, are you taken now?” Gabe asks.

“Yes and no”, Bucky answers sadly.

“What is that suppose to mean?” Dum Dum says confused.

“We are not official yet, but we kinda are… I don’t now”, Bucky sighs resting his chin on the heel of his hand.

“What do mean you don’t know? Is he your boyfriend or not?” Gabe questions.

“We haven’t had that talk yet, but it feels like he is, I just don’t want to assume anything, what if I’m wrong?” Bucky frowns his lips.

“Steve’s in for the long run, believe me”, Dum Dum comments, “actually is kinda weird that he hasn’t said anything about it”, he hums.

“Oh wow, that’s comforting!” Bucky laughs bitterly.

“Maybe he’s just thinking the same way you are, maybe he doesn’t know how to ask”, Gabe says.

“Yeah, maybe”, he sighs sadly, “but hey, he’s going with me to D.C. for Thanksgiving”, Bucky adds proudly.

“Oh, that’s a big deal, with your folks and all”, Gabe says.

“Yes, I don’t know what to think about it actually”, Bucky frowns his lips.

“About what?” Dum Dum questions.

“You know how I’ve never introduced any boyfriends to my parents? At least not officially, the few serious relationships I had didn’t lasted too long”, he explains, “and I just couldn’t go to my parents’ house with some random dude and say ‘hey guys, this is the man I’ve been having sex with’, I don’t think so”, he jokes shaking his head.

“Yeah, I get what you mean, but this is Steve Rogers we’re talking about, the same guy that helps old ladies with their groceries, waters their lawns and shit, he’s different”, Gabe laughs.

“Exactly! And not just because Steve’s the guy that all parents want for their daughter or son”, he chuckles, “my family is a big deal for me, you know that, I’ve always imagined that if I ever introduced my parents to someone it would be somebody that’s really worth it” Bucky explains.

“Well, I guess Steve fits the profile”, Gabe says kindly.

“Seems like it”, he agrees cheerfully, “I think it’ll go pretty well”, Bucky smiles to himself.

“And you’re going to be sleeping in the couch or what?” Dum Dum laughs.

“Why would I do that?” Bucky asks confused.

“Waking up with a boner everyday can’t be that cute”, Gabe jokes.

“I’m sure he’ll be able to handled that”, Bucky chuckles.

“You guys already had sex, didn’t you? I don’t mean lousy hand-jobs like before, I mean like the real deal”, Dum Dum wonders.

“There’s nothing lousy about his hand-jobs, I assure you that”, Bucky mumbles between his teeth, “and yes, real deal and all”, he says.

 _And oh yes, we did_.

Memories from the previous days stored on the back of his mind, making his insides bubble and the pit of his stomach warm as his heart throbs faster inside his ribcage. Steve inside of him, him inside of Steve; the sweet taste of those precious pink lips, the stare of his sky blue eyes under those long eyelashes, his warm and long fingers, the tenderness of his touch, the way that Steve’s hair looks all over the place in the morning or even the way he drools into the pillow, the look on his face and the frown on his eyebrows when he’s confused, or the way he blushes when he’s embarrassed.

_Steve, all of Steve._

“Bucky, you still there?” someone asks.

_Oh, right, I’m on the phone._

“Sorry, what was that?” Bucky says.

“Oh forget it, just let us know when’s the wedding”, Dum Dum jokes and Gabe laughs out loud.

_Holy shit, imagine that._

_Getting married? To Steve?_

Bucky shakes his head to prevent his thoughts from drifting off into a thousand and one scenarios of how that could work out for them; _we’re not even official yet, for Christ sake!_

“Laugh all you want”, Bucky chuckles, “don’t you have jobs to attend?” he adds quickly.

“Don’t you?” Gabe sasses back.

“Hey, talking about jobs, you don’t plan on piercing again?” Dum Dum wonders all the sudden.

“I miss it actually, I would love to do it again but I haven’t had the time to search for a proper place for it”, he comments.

“Isn’t Steve looking for a piercer?” Gabe says.

“I’ve heard something about it, but I don’t know, don’t you think it would be weird?” He frowns his eyebrows.

“Not at all, I think it’d be cool”, Dum Dum comments.

Working in Steve’s shop, that’s something that’s been on Bucky’s mind since the moment he listened Darcy talking about how much work Loki has been handling, _that would be a dream come true_ , not just because he would get to see Steve more often but because the Star-Spangled Tattoo Shop has a lot of prestige not only with the people on the underground and alternative scene in the city, but all over the country.

Bucky has heard stories about how booked the place is and how difficult is to get an appointment, and working in a place like that, where they appreciate the hard work and encourage people to express themselves by putting art on their bodies? _It would be amazing_ , that’s the main reason why Bucky even learned how to pierce in the first place, besides the peacefulness that takes over his body every time he’s doing it.

“I don’t know, we’ll see about that”, he says.

“Well, not everybody works for a rich guy, we gotta get going”, Gabe comments sadly.

“Hey, before I forget, do you have any plans for the next weekend? After Thanksgiving and all that jazz”, Dum Dum asks.

“Not that I know of”, Bucky hums.

“Coulson offered us a show on Saturday night, I know it’s short noticed, Modern Life Is War is playing, are you in?” Dum Dum wonders.

“Holy shit, are you kidding? Heck yes!” Bucky cheers.

“It’s settled then”, Gabe says, “take care, man”, he adds.

“Hey, green goes well with my skin tone, remember that for when you pick the groomsmen’s outfits”, Dum Dum jokes and Gabe burst out in laughter along with the redhead.

“Oh, fuck off!” Bucky chuckles.

“Later, Bucky”, Dum Dum says between laughs before he hangs up.

_We haven’t even been dating for a month and they’re already talking about a wedding?_

_Not even a month._

_It feels way more than that._

_Doesn’t it?_

Bucky sighs running his hand through his hair, he returns his attention back to work, nerves and excitement creeping under his skin as he tries to concentrate on his current project.

***

“Hey Bucky, what are we?”

“Buck, is this a relationship?”

“Bucky, do you want to… you know, be my guy or something?”

_My guy? Seriously?_

_Why can’t you just say it? Boyfriend, boyfriend!_

_Jesus fucking Christ, Rogers, you’re pathetic._

Steve sighs staring at himself in the reflection of the restroom mirror of the shop, he leans forward to gather some water on his hands and splash it on his face, he breathes through his mouth after he dries his face and hands, he eyes himself in the mirror once more before he goes out. He enters his working station one last time for the day and checks that everything is back into place; he grabs one of his sketchbooks at random and walks towards the lobby after he turns off the light.

“Are you sure you’ve got everything covered?” Steve asks.

“Yes, boss, I already told you”, Darcy rolls her eyes.

“I don’t have an appointment, right? Just walk-ins?” He says.

“Noup and I already informed the costumers of the next days that their appointments have been moved, everyone’s rebooked and happy”, she informs with a nod.

“Okay, thanks a lot, Darce”, Steve smiles.

“No, problem”, she grins back, “you’re leaving already?” Darcy wonders.

“Yeah, I gotta go pick up the car”, he comments.

“Oh, that’s right, you’re driving”, the girl comments, ”we’re gonna miss you around here”, she frowns her lips.

“It’s only for a few days”, Steve shrugs, “remember to close early tomorrow”, he says.

“Yes, Steve”, she responds standing up from her chair.

“Steven, my friend, have a safe trip!” Thor walks inside the store along with Loki carrying their bags of food.

“We’re dinning at Foster-Odinsons’ tomorrow, and Thor is cooking”, Darcy grins wide.

“I am positive that it would be quiet the spectacle, I am looking forward to see your wife’s reaction after she finds your kitchen incinerated”, Loki smirks teasingly.

“I would like to enlighten you with the fact that I do know how to cook a proper meal, brother”, Thor crosses his arms over his chest.

“Either way, I’ll be there to film everything!” Darcy laughs.

“Well, I wish you the best of lucks then”, Steve chuckles, “have a Happy Thanksgiving guys, I’ll see you next week”, Steve says before he shakes Thor and Loki’s hands and receives a tight hug from Darcy.

He waves them goodbye over his shoulder as he walks outside of the shop and towards his bike. Steve called in the morning when he arrived at the shop to rent the car he wanted and luckily they said he could pick it up any time during the day. Since it’s still early in the afternoon, he decides to drive his motorcycle to his house and prepare some food before he heads to pick up the vehicle.

As soon as he arrives home, he walks to the kitchen to make some fettuccine Alfredo with chicken; while he waits the water for the pasta to boil he washes the lettuce and slices a tomato to put together a salad, he lets everything cook properly on the stove before he moves to the upstairs floor. He begins to pick the clothes he’s going to pack and grabs one of his largest duffle bags from the top shelf of the closet to throw everything in there, he manages to fit all neatly into one bag and luckily he still has some space for shoes and shower supplies.

He stomps downstairs quickly to go and fix his food, he takes his time eating properly; Captain isn’t home and he can’t help to feel a little lonely eating around his dinner table, he hasn’t felt like this since he’s been around Bucky this past three days, it’s nice to have someone to share his spare time with, but it also feels good to have a time of his own to think about everything that’s been going on.

Their bond has become more strong in just a few days, more than Steve could have imagined, and now he’s going to meet Bucky’s parents, which is a huge deal for the both of them. Now that the nerves have started to kick in, Steve’s trying to keep his cool, and Bucky’s family is really important to him and he wants to make a good impression.

Just after he finishes eating and washing the dishes he used, he goes back into the living room and sits at the edge of the sofa with his phone pressed against his ear, waiting for the person on the other line to pick up, it rings a few times before someone finally answers.

“Hey, Steve, what a surprise!” She says cheerfully.

“Hi, Becky, how are you?” Steve asks politely.

“I’m good…” Becky responds giggling, “dude, wait a fucking second, can’t you see I’m one the phone!” she yells.

“Are you busy? If this is a bad time I can call you later”, he adds quickly.

“No, it’s fine, just this moron that’s trying to tickle me”, Becky laughs, “Anyway, what’s up? Are you guys ready for tomorrow?” she wonders.

“Yeah, about that, I wanted to ask you something, I don’t wanna go empty handed but I don’t know what should I take, any suggestions?” Steve says.

“Did you ask my brother?” She hums.

“Not really, but I know that if I ask him he’s going to say that I don’t need to bring anything”, he comments.

“Well, there’s your answer”, Becky chuckles.

“Oh, c’mon!” Steve huffs.

“Okay, if you really want to bring something, Bucky’s always talking about the pies you bake, how about one of those?” She says.

“He does?” Steve questions.

“He does what?” Becky sounds confused.

“Talk about my pies”, he clarifies.

“Dude, every time we talk he only speaks of you, Steve this… Steve that… it’s so cute”, she chuckles and Steve can’t help the blush that’s spreading across his face and neck, all warm and bright, “really, you’re a guest, you don’t have to bring anything, but if you need a peace of mind, a pie would do, my dad’s a sweet tooth just like Bucky”, Becky comments.

“Perfect! Thanks for the Intel”, Steve laughs.

“Sure, Steve, anytime”, she says.

“Hey, I received your message with the picture of the tattoo all healed, looks great”, Steve smiles.

“Yeah, I fucking love it, I’ve got so many compliments on it, I’m already thinking on what I want to get next”, she chuckles.

“That’s nice”, he hums.

“I want you to do it, I should book my appointment since now, I’ll probably get it around the summer, right?” Becky laughs.

“Becky, you don’t even have to book, just walk into the shop and I’ll make room for you”, Steve assures.

“Really? I knew that my brother dating you would be good”, she snickers, “no, but seriously though, thanks”, Becky says kindly.

“No problem”, he smirks, “well, I gotta go, but it was nice talking to you”, Steve comments.

“Yeah, same here, I’ll see you guys tomorrow, have a safe trip!” Becky cheers.

“Thanks, bye”, he says before hanging up.

***

“Here are your slices of pizza, enjoy!” The girl behind the counter says handing him his food.

“Thanks”, he smiles before he walks away, he moves to the tables in the back to take a seat but he turns around on his heel when he hears a familiar voice calling for him.

“Hey, Bucky!” the man says.

“Hi!” he greets back, “Imma take a seat in the back, come and join me!” Bucky points with his free hand to the back of the place.

“Right away”, the other guy nods.

Bucky takes a place on one of the booths; he pulls out his phone to check for new messages, _none_ , he drinks a sip from his water bottle before he sends a quick message to Steve as he waits for his friend to join him.

 **Bucky:** Hi  <3

 **Steve** **♥** **:** Hello, how are you? (:

 **Bucky:** I’m fine, about to eat some pizza, yummmm :D

 **Steve** **♥** **:** Uuuh nice, I just got out of the house, I’m on my way to pick up the car (*thumbs up*)

 **Bucky:** Oh, cool, and you’re heading home after that?

 **Steve** **♥** **:** Yeah, probably, I might go to the grocery store first

 **Bucky:** Okay, I still gotta pack :c I haven’t even unpacked from last week haha :p

 **Steve** **♥** **:** Eeww those clothes are probably rotten by now x)

 **Bucky:** Hey, I don’t stink that much!

 **Bucky:** Well, sometimes D:

 **Steve** **♥** **:** Nah, you don’t stink c:

 **Bucky:** Yayyy! Well, Imma go back to eat, call me later?

 **Steve** **♥** **:** Sure, text me when you get home

 **Bucky:** Okaaaaay *3*

He locks his phone right on time when the man comes back to join him, he takes a seat in front of Bucky and smirks at him with those pearly white teeth of his, “man, this place makes me miss my other half”, the man comments sadly.

“By other half you mean Clint, right?” Bucky laughs.

“Of course, who else do you know that eats cold pizza for breakfast with a pot of coffee”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, he’s quite something, good thing Natasha doesn’t mind cooking”, Bucky giggles.

“That woman is a gem, how Clint managed to get her interested still amazes me”, the man laughs, “ how are you anyway?” he asks.

“I’m fine, and you? How are you, Sam?” Bucky answers back.

“I’m okay, I just got out from the VA and decided to eat something before I head home, Thanksgiving and all”, Sam shrugs a shoulder before he takes a big bite of his slice of pizza.

“Nice”, Bucky nods, “me too, but I haven’t even packed yet”, he chuckles.

“Hey, I never got to ask you, how did you managed to convince Steve to go with you?” he wonders.

“It wasn’t that hard actually, I asked first but Steve being him said he didn’t wanted to intrude, and I just said it wasn’t an option, that he was going and that was it”, Bucky smirks.

“It usually works like that, the first time I invited him to my parent’s house he said no at the beginning too, but then Clint and I convinced him, we didn’t want him to be alone”, Sam nods.

“Yeah, I wish I could’ve been there for him”, Bucky says sadly looking down at his almost empty plate of food.

“Don’t beat yourself about it, man”, the other guy says, “Steve’s the bravest man I know, you should’ve seen him when his mother died, everyone walked up to him to give their condolences and he just kept smiling back because that what’s his mother told him to”, Sam comments with a small smile, “but hey, if you guys didn’t reunited before must have been for some reason, maybe this was the right time”, he shrugs a shoulder casually.

“I guess so”, Bucky sighs, “I have a question”, he informs after he eats his last piece of pizza.

“Shoot”, Sam nods once.

“I’ve been wanting to ask Steve to be my boyfriend, I don’t want this to be a ‘we are dating’ thing, whatever the fuck that means”, he chuckles along with Sam, “but, do you think I should wait for him to ask me?” Bucky wonders.

“I understand that this hasn’t been easy for you guys, but I know Steve, and I assure that he wants you, he really, like really, really likes you, he’s probably taking his time to ask you, I know he wants to, but maybe he doesn’t know how”, he nods, “but if you want to say it, do it, just talk to him, I can tell you he wants the same thing, you just gotta communicate”, Sam says.

“Yeah, that’s kinda my fault, I’m not so good with that”, he chuckles bitterly.

“You’ll be fine, I was actually surprised when Steve told us that he talked to you about his incident on Friday, how did that happened?” the man asks.

“I explained to him how I felt being away for a week, how much I missed him, and that I don’t feel pity and that I don’t care how he looks, or that he has health issues and that those don’t change the way I feel about him”, Bucky explains.

“I see, you assured him you’ll be there for him and that’s why he felt comfortable enough talking to you, and that’s the only thing you need to do, explain to him how you feel, he can’t read your mind”, Sam laughs.

“You’re so smart, you know that?” Bucky chuckles.

“Yeah, Sharon says it’s only for my own good”, Sam winks.

“How is she, by the way? How are you guys doin’?” Bucky wonders.

“She’s fine, we’re great”, his friend nods, “I’m telling you, she’s a good one, man”, he smirks, “I’m happy, she’s fun and loving, she laughs at my jokes but she doesn’t takes my shit either, she’s bossy and funny, I have to thank you, though”, Sam raises an eyebrow at him.

“Me? How come?” Bucky asks knitting his eyebrows together before he takes a sip of his bottle of water.

“When I recently started talking to her she was interested in Steve, but a little after that you came in and Steve just had eyes for you so I stepped in”, Sam wiggles his eyebrows teasingly.

“Really?” Bucky says and Sam nods, “Then, I’m glad it worked out for us”, he shrugs.

“Indeed”, Sam nods with a smile on his face.

“Well, I better get going, I still got things to do”, Bucky informs.

“Yeah, me too”, Sam says standing up, “it was nice seeing you”, he smirks taking their empty plates to put them on the trash can.

“Same here, take care, Sam”, Bucky smiles back, Sam waves him goodbye before he turns around.

_Talk to him, exactly what Natasha said too._

_Why is talking about feelings so goddamn hard?_

Bucky hangs his messenger bag and walks out of the place towards the nearest subway station, he needs to get everything ready before tomorrow morning when Steve picks him up. He puts on his earphones and replays Sam’s words on his mind.

What if Bucky kept thinking that Steve was Brock’s friend, and he decided he didn’t want to have anything to do with him? What if he never found out that Steve was the same Steven on his best childhood memories? Would Steve be dating Sharon now instead of him?

_Steve, my Steve?_

_No, hell no, fuck no!_

By the time that Bucky is arriving to his _empty and lonely_ apartment he has decided that he won’t let this weekend pass without talking to Steve about their relationship, and if Steve doesn’t ask him to be his boyfriend soon, _I will_.

***

Good thing that Steve decided to go and pick the car early because they made him sign a lot of paperwork, insurance policy, background check, driver license and all that. It defiantly took more time than he expected but at least he still has a few hours to go to the grocery store to pick up the ingredients he’s missing for the pie, then go back to his house and bake it.

When they finally release the car to him, he hops in and fixes the rearview mirror, he notices he has a text message from Bucky from almost an hour ago saying that he had arrived at his place safe and sound, Steve smiles to himself but for some reason he starts to feel a little sad, they had agreed in the morning that Steve would pick up Bucky at his apartment the next day because they both need to pack their things and take care of a few other things, but right now, thinking of going back to his place and sleep alone on his bed, doesn’t sound like a good idea.

Steve starts the engine and accustoms the seat properly, he turns on the lights since it’s getting a bit dark already, the blond connects his phone on the deck of the car and proceeds to drive towards the grocery store, but after a couple minutes on the road, it’s like Bucky is reading his mind because his phone rings.

“Hello!” Steve answers.

“Hi, handsome, where are you?” Bucky asks.

“I’m driving, I’m heading to the grocery store”, he informs.

“You’re on the phone and driving? Such a rebel!” Bucky laughs.

“No, dummy, this is one of those new cars that you can plug your phone on the deck and has a little button on the wheel to answer or play music and stuff”, Steve says.

“Uuuuuh, fancy!” He exclaims.

“Yeah, what’s up? What are you doing?” Steve wonders.

“I just finished doing laundry, I already packed my things”, Bucky answers, “listen Steve, I know we agreed that you would pick me up in the morning, and I promise you that this isn’t about sex, we don’t have to do anything…” he clears his throat before he continues, “but uuuh… I don’t want to sleep alone in here, do you think I…” Bucky sighs, “just forget about it, it’s silly”, he says.

_Is he being serious?_

“I’m on my way”, Steve announces turning around the wheel to change his direction to go towards Bucky’s apartment.

“What?” Bucky asks confused.

“I’m gonna pick you up, okay?” Steve clarifies.

“You are?” he says surprised, “it’s more than okay”, he chuckles.

“Okay, baby, I’ll call you when I get there, I’m not far”, he comments.

“Yayyyyy!” Bucky cheers, “see ya’ then”, he says before he makes kissy noises and hangs up, Steve chuckles warmly.

 _Oh man_ , if that isn’t exactly what Steve wants, sleeping next to Bucky again, because it’s like he said, it’s not about sex, is about being on each other’s presence, holding hands under the blankets, hearing his breathing slowing down as he falls asleep, and seeing his ball of hair in the morning while he stretches his arms over his head. When Steve saw Bucky sleeping for the first time when they fell asleep on his couch all those weeks ago, seeing him so calm and peaceful, seeing him as he is, gorgeous and beautiful, Steve knew that’s what he wants to see every time he wakes up.

When Steve finally arrives at Bucky’s building, anxious and happy at the same time, he presses the redial button and waits for Bucky to answer, which he does after the second tone.

“I’ll be right there”, Bucky says right away.

“Okay, I’ll wait”, Steve hums, drumming his fingers on the wheel impatiently.

He zones out staring at the street in front of him with his chin resting over the back of his hand on the wheel: the smallest hint of fog from a cold night ahead, people passing by, the dim lights on the sidewalk, tall buildings, small buildings, empty buildings, crowded buildings, cars coming and going, traffic noises. When he finally decides to look to his right, he turns his head completely as he leans back into his seat; Bucky is coming out of the building with a huge smile on his face, he’s wearing something more casual than his usual attire, a beanie over his head, a hoodie and a coat over it, sweatpants and Converse tennis shoes, a backpack on his shoulder and a duffle bag in hand.

Steve leans to the side and reaches the door handle to push out and open it for Bucky, the brunet smile grows wider as he walks towards the car, and Steve is sure that his smile is equally big, _or even wider_.

“When you said a car I thought you meant like a small car, not a pick up truck”, Bucky says after he opens the back door and tosses his things inside.

“I thought about it, since it’s probably more convenient, but I told you I want to buy a car like this one so I figure I should give it a try first”, Steve shrugs, “besides, I’m not a small man, and Captain is going with us, I think this is more appropriate and comfortable”, he comments.

“Oh no, you are not a small man, if you know what I mean”, Bucky murmurs between his teeth and Steve’s cheeks blush pink, _as always_.

“Anywayyyyyy, I still gotta go to the grocery store first”, Steve informs.

“That’s okay”, Bucky takes a seat next to Steve and closes the door behind him, “Hi”, the brunet smirks taking off his beanie.

“Hello there”, Steve smiles.

Bucky leans to the side into Steve’s space and pecks his cheek; Steve passes his right hand through Bucky’s soft hair and brings their lips together, one small kiss and they both part smiling wide at each other until Bucky’s smile turns more into a teasing smirk and bats his long eyelashes at Steve, “one more”, he pleads with his index finger up in the air and _way too close_ to Steve’s face.

And of course, Steve does as Bucky asks placing his hand on the back of Bucky’s neck, but this time the kiss is deeper, and it grows more passionate as the seconds pass slowly, their lips wet and soft parted against each other’s, Bucky’s breath is minty and fresh, and Steve can’t help to chuckle into the kiss when the brunet moans against his mouth when Steve sucks his lower lip, just like he always does.

“I missed you”, Bucky whispers against Steve’s lips with his eyes still closed.

“I missed you too”, Steve hums happily before he kisses Bucky’s nose and leans back to start the engine again.

“Why are we going to the grocery store?” the brunet wonders.

“I need to buy a few things, I’m baking a pie”, Steve informs.

“A pie? Right now? It’s like 7, not that I mind eating pie whenever”, he says.

“It’s not for tonight, it’s for tomorrow”, Steve nods.

“Tomorrow? Steve, you don’t have to take anything, you’re a guest”, Bucky insists.

“That’s exactly what your sister told me”, Steve lifts an eyebrow at him.

“You talked to my sister?” Bucky asks surprised.

“Yeah, I knew that if I told you were gonna say that, and she commented that you’ve talked about my pies and that your dad has a sweet tooth like you, so I told her I would bake one, I insisted actually”, he explains.

“C’mon, you don’t have to, really” Bucky huffs.

“I know, baby”, Steve says grabbing Bucky’s hand and kisses the brunet’s knuckles before he let him go again, “but I want to”, he says.

“Fineeeee”, Bucky whines, “hey, I ran into Sam today”, he comments.

“Really? How is he?” Steve wonders.

“He’s fine, we chatted for a bit”, he comments.

“Yeah? About what?” Steve asks.

“You know, there’s this guy I like, he’s hella handsome and hot, adorable and cute, funny and fucking hot, did I mentioned he’s hot, like ‘damn, I wanna climb that tree’ hot”, Bucky nods chuckling.

“Wow! He seems like a nice guy, it almost makes me feel a bit jealous”, he jokes and Bucky starts to laugh out loud, Steve just glances at him on the corner of his eye trying to keep concentrated on the road.

_That sweet and warm laugh of his._

“You’re the best, you know”, Bucky sighs after he calms down.

“No, you’re the best”, Steve exchanges a quick smile with Bucky before he finally pulls inside the parking lot of the grocery store.

***

“Steeeeeeeeeve”, Bucky whines, “just one more, pleeeeeease, pretty please! Just one”, he insists.

“You said that like two apples ago”, Steve chuckles.

When they entered the grocery store, Steve walked straight to the fruits and vegetables section to grab a bunch of apples, after that, he just needed to buy some flour, but at the end, they browsed through the halls in case that Steve forgot something and Bucky started putting random things into the cart: macaroni & cheese, candies, chocolates, pudding, potato chips and all sorts of things, and Steve just kept putting them back, Bucky whined and frowned his lips every time while the blond gave him and an apologetic little smile saying they didn’t need those things. Bucky wondered for a second, _if we ever get married_ , that’s how it would feel like going grocery shopping as a couple.

They’re currently at Steve’s kitchen, when they arrived Captain was already there and Bucky went to pick up a movie with the dog behind him, _Interview With A Vampire_ , Steve moved straight to the kitchen to begin the baking. Bucky repeated the dialogues softly and Steve talked about a few fun facts about the movie, and as the brunet pointed how _fucking hot_ Brad Pitt looks as a vampire, Steve just laughed from inside the kitchen.

By the middle of the movie, when Louis meets Armand, Bucky goes into the kitchen and walks towards Steve to see how he’s doing and asks if he needs any help, the blond just says that he has everything under control as Bucky steals a slice of apple. The movie is playing in the background and Bucky is sitting on top of the counter next to where Steve is cutting the apples; they talk about their day, _I did for the most part_ , how exited Bucky is to see his family and for Steve to meet them and the upcoming show at SHIELD. Steve listens and smiles at him every time he caught Bucky staring at him, and Bucky keeps eating the apples he’s cutting, Steve trying to slap his hand away every time, but for some reason, he’s _awfully_ quiet.

“What’s bugging you?” Bucky wonders when he finally stops trying to eat the sliced apples, but Steve doesn’t answer, he’s zooned out mixing all the ingredients for the filling but he has a pensive expression on his face, “Steve”, Bucky speaks again.

“What is it?” Steve asks finally looking up at Bucky.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky says standing back on the floor.

“Nothing, why?” the blond shakes his head.

“C’mon, sweetheart, I know there’s something on your mind”, Bucky insists hugging Steve from the back placing his arms around the man’s waist.

“Well, it’s just…” Steve sighs deeply.

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” he wonders.

“Uuumm… maybe, yeah… I don’t know”, Steve mumbles.

“Hey, look at me…” Bucky demands leaning back, Steve turns to face Bucky, the brunet places his hands on each side of Steve’s neck right away to make him look up at his face, “it’s okay to be nervous, I’m not going to tell you not to, I’m nervous too you know”, Bucky nods.

“Why? I mean, I’m the one meeting your parents”, Steve says.

“Yeah, and I like you therefore I know they’re gonna like you too, I swear”, he insists.

Steve sighs silently, like that is exactly what he needed to hear, “then why are you nervous?” he wonders.

“Because… what if you don’t like them?” Bucky whispers shyly.

“Of course I’m gonna like them, Buck”, Steve says placing his hands on Bucky’s hips to bring him closer to him, “they raised you, if something, I have to thank them, right?” Steve winks teasingly.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

“Hooooow, how do you do it? Tell me!” Bucky yells.

“Do what?” Steve asks confused.

“You’re so goddamn perfect! How are you even real?” he chuckles.

“I’m not”, Steve shakes his head again.

“You’re not real?!” Bucky asks trying to sound surprised, “I knew it! No wonder why you’re so dreamy”, he smiles wide.

“HA-HA! Really funny”, Steve giggles.

“I’m hilarious, I know”, he shrugs, “kiss me?” Bucky gives Steve a cheeky smile.

Steve moves his hands up from where they are on Bucky’s hips, passing them slowly along Bucky’s back, his fingertips applying the slightest pressure making him shiver with goosebumps, he puts both of his hands on the brunet’s nape while Bucky’s are placed against Steve’s chest. Bucky leans forward a bit and Steve meets him halfway doing the same, they start with a few small pecks as they always do, until Bucky parts his mouth a bit to invite the other man inside, the taste is sweet on their warm tongues and their lips wet.

_I need to stop._

Bucky doesn’t want to, but he has to, because he needs to keep his word, he said this isn’t about sex, and he wants to show that to Steve, he’s here to stay, he won’t walk away, _he’s not just a guy I’m dating_. The thing is, every time that Steve fiddles with Bucky’s piercing sucking his lower lip into his mouth, or when he gives him playful little licks passing his tongue over his, or when he bites Bucky’s lip and hums against his mouth while he tilts his head taking control over the kiss…

_Stop, stop, stop!_

“Stevie”, Bucky whispers against the man’s mouth, _kiss_ , “don’t you…” he says, _kiss_ , “have a pie”, he continues, _kiss_ , “to bake”, he sighs, _kiss_.

The blond chuckles, a low _and sexy_ rumble on the back on his throat, and runs his hands through Bucky’s hair, probably to smooth it out, and smiles wide at Bucky, his lips red and puffy _and gorgeous_ , “well, you’re right”, Steve says and kisses Bucky’s forehead before he turns around to continue what he was doing.

He kisses the back of Steve’s neck and proceeds to the living room where Captain is starting to get up from his bed, Bucky walks towards the couch to sit down and finish watching the rest of the movie, “come here”, Bucky says to the dog patting a spot next to him.

As soon as the dog hops on the couch, Bucky begins to scratch the back of his ears as Captain wiggles his tail happily, “you’re meeting my parents too, aren’t you excited?” He asks with a wide smile plaster on his face, Captain responds by licking the side of his face, Bucky starts giggling while the dog continues to give him kisses.

_Oh man, what a life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back at it again, I've missed you so much, I hope you had an amazing time during the holidays and I wish your 2016 is as good as you expect it to be if not better <3
> 
> Remember that I'm always around to answer all your questions, I love reading your comments and suggestions, don't be shy and say hi c:
> 
> P.S. Next chapter is Thanksgiving, be ready for lots of sweetness :D


	54. Chapter 54

“Stevie, sweetheart, you have to get up”, Bucky whispers sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him, Steve is laying on his chest.

“But I don’t wanna”, the blond mumbles into the pillow.

“C’mon, lazy ass, you still gotta shower”, Bucky leans forward and places a soft kiss between Steve’s shoulder blades.

Steve manages to turn around in place, whispering something to himself, his voice groggy and low from sleep and his eyes clear as water behind hooded eyelids, “I’m not lazy, I just didn’t sleep all my hours”, he says rubbing his eyes.

“I know, but if I can recall, someone insisted on baking a pie late at night”, Bucky runs his hand through Steve’s hair looking down at him.

“Yeah, and I don’t regret that”, Steve sighs, he sits down and supports his weight on his hands to move back and rest his back against the headboard, “I have to shave, I didn’t had any time to go to the barber shop”, he says.

“Shave? You don’t have anything to shave, you don’t have a single hair on your body, what are you talking about? Lucky you!” Bucky chuckles.

“I do grow hair but it takes more time, not so lucky, what if I wanted to grow a beard and look manly, or get a fancy moustache or something?” Steve laughs.

“You look pretty manly to me”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder before he leans forward placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder for support and brings their lips together, just a small kiss of which they part smiling at each other, as they always do.

“Ok, I better get in the shower then, I don’t want us to run late”, Steve says.

“You go ahead and I’ll fix something for breakfast”, Bucky comments standing up.

Steve pulls his t-shirt over his head and tosses it into the laundry basket on the corner of the room, Bucky goes to his side of the bed to grab his phone from the nightstand and puts it inside the pocket of his jeans before he walks towards the door and down the stairs.

“Captain, today is the day!” Bucky cheers with his arms wide open as soon as he steps on the first floor where the dog is sitting on his bed, Captain barks loudly at him before he stands up and trots towards Bucky, the brunet kneels to pet him for a couple of minutes.

The night before, Bucky kept his word and they didn’t had sex at all, after the blond finished with the pie, they moved up to Steve’s bedroom, but Bucky was restless and Steve didn’t seemed so sleepy either, they got inside the covers and talked about everything and nothing while they cuddled against each other, but that didn’t kept them from exchanging a few kisses here and there, and it took all of Bucky to stop himself before the kisses grew into something more intense. After their long make out and cuddling session, Bucky insisted it was his time to be the big spoon again, and with his hands buried into Steve’s hair, they finally managed to fall asleep.

Bucky woke up at six o’clock sharp as soon as the alarm went off, he stood up quickly, his body filled with excitement and trill, he hasn’t seen his parents since the summer and today they’re meeting Steve. He thought about suggesting to Steve to share a shower but that would have been torture for him, having Steve naked and try to keep his hands to himself, he has will of strength, _but maybe not that much_ , instead, he decided to call shotgun on the shower although Steve didn’t seem to care as he whined into the pillow that he wanted to sleep some more.

“Hey, buddy, did you pack your bag?” Bucky asks Captain after he puts on ‘Floral Green’ by Title Fight under the needle and moves into the kitchen.

Captain just gives him a look tilting his head to the side, like he understands what Bucky is saying to him, _I swear, if Steve was a dog_. Bucky shakes his head chuckling to himself, he walks to the fridge and pulls out some of the ingredients he needs to make French toast, and then he moves to grab the rest of the things, already too familiar where Steve keeps everything.

He sings softly along with the music, banging his head up and down at the rhythm of the bass and continues to cook their breakfast, Captain resting on the floor by his feet chewing on some toy. Bucky stacks the French toast in a plate while he keeps thinking on what he wants to show Steve the next weekend, maybe go for a walk along the river, show him the neighborhood, go visit the places that Bucky used to like, or take Becky’s invitation for once and go out with her friends, and now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t even know if Steve has been to D.C. before.

“Smells nice in here, do you need any help?” Steve comes into the kitchen just in time when Bucky is pilling up the last slice of toast.

“It’s all done, let me just set the table”, Bucky nods.

“Okay, I’ll make your coffee”, Steve says walking towards the counter.

“Hey, I don’t know why I never asked you before, have you been to D.C.?” Bucky wonders as he puts down the plate of food on the middle of the table.

“Yeah, I have, I went there with my ma’ a couple of times, the first time we went to a tour on the White House, then other few occasions to the museums and stuff”, Steve says placing the cup of coffee on the table along with a glass of milk for himself, “after that, I was invited to the D.C. Tattoo Expo, and I’ve been to a few shows on The Black Cat”, he adds.

“Oh, that’s nice”, Bucky hums, _wait, what?_ , “hold on a second”, he blinks a few times, “you’re telling me you’ve been to shows at The Black Cat and I’ve never seen you before? How?” he asks.

“Well, I don’t know, I was younger and I didn’t looked the way I do now, maybe you did saw me and you just don’t remember”, Steve shrugs taking his place around the table.

“No, I would have noticed you, believe me”, Bucky says sitting down next to the other man.

_Right? I would have, how couldn’t I?_

And now Bucky feels like an asshole. What if he did saw Steve a few years ago and he didn’t noticed him? _No way in hell._ He didn’t recognized Steve at the beginning but that was acceptable, twenty years is a long time, but ten? Or five? He’s sure _as fuck_ he would’ve remember that face, those beautiful sky-blue eyes and pink lips, that golden hair and crooked nose, his chiseled chin and strong jaw. What if he was so occupied with his selfcenterness that he didn’t even bother to pay attention to his surroundings and he missed his opportunity to meet Steve sooner?

“It doesn’t matter, you’re here now”, Steve smiles placing a hand over Bucky’s. And it’s like Steve can read his mind and just say exactly what Bucky wants to hear, always the right words, perfect words.

_I love you._

_I love you so fucking much._

“I know, and I’m glad, I’m not going anywhere”, Bucky smirks back.

Steve takes Bucky’s hand and kisses the brunet’s knuckles before he let it go to start eating his breakfast, “did you know that Ian MacKaye formed Dischord Records there in D.C., back in the 80’s?” he comments.

“I know, nerd”, he chuckles, “I grew up in that scene, it’s the only thing all the straight edge kids talk about there, forget that, it’s the only thing that everybody talk about in that scene”, Bucky says.

“Dude, Minor Threat”, Steve smirks.

“Dude, Fugazi”, Bucky laughs.

“I knew you were gonna say that”, the blond chuckles before he fills his mouth with a big piece of French toast.

***

“Are you sure you’re not forgetting anything? Do you have your inhaler?” Bucky asks after he closes the door behind him.

“Nope, all set, and yes, it’s in my bag”, Steve says palming his back pocket for his wallet and the front one for his phone. He already packed everything, both of their bags and backpacks on the floor behind their seats and a few things for Captain in another small bag.

They cleaned their plates after food was done and moved back upstairs to do the bed and grab their things, Steve checked his mental list to make sure he had everything he needed before he went over to the Morales’ to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving. He exchanged quick hugs with Mrs. Morales and Miles after they said they’d check on his house once a day and water the plats on the porch, Steve obviously insisted he didn’t want to bother, the family said it was no trouble.

“Hey, Cap, let’s go”, Bucky says holding open one of the passenger doors; the dog hops on the car immediately.

They get inside the car, Steve behind the wheel and Bucky by his side, the brunet has a book in hand and the pie over his legs, they don’t want to risk it by putting it on the back and getting it all squashed by Captain. Steve connects his phone on the deck as the previous night and Bucky types the address on the GPS, even though he insists he knows the right directions.

Steve started the engine a few minutes before they hopped in to get it heated properly, Bucky turns on the air conditioning as soon as he gets inside and takes off his gloves after the temperature is more comfortable inside. Steve isn’t wearing a jacket, just a sweater over a shirt, jeans and tennis shoes, Bucky has his trademark ripped jeans, boots and a hoodie, his coat tossed over the backrest of his seat; they’re dressing on something a bit more presentable for tonight’s dinner but for now something casual will do.

“So, here we go”, Steve sighs.

“Kiss me”, Bucky demands.

Steve chuckles before he leans to the side and into Bucky’s space, his hands tight on the wheel; Steve kisses Bucky’s lips softly while the brunet cups his face with his hands, their warm breaths against their mouths, eyes closed as Bucky hums happily on the back of his throat. They break the kiss not by choice, Captain starts barking at them like he knows what’s happening, it only takes Steve to narrow his eyes for him to shut up.

“Thank you, dog”, Steve huffs.

“Aaaww, poor thing”, Bucky stretches his hand to the left to try to reach Captain’s head to pet him, “I don't know what I would do if I asked you for a kiss and your answer was no”, he says looking back at Captain.

“I wouldn’t”, Steve answers finally putting the car on drive to start their journey.

“You wouldn’t what?” Buck asks leaning against his backrest again to buckle his seatbelt.

“Say no, ever”, he says looking at the road. _How could I?_

“Well, even if you did, I’ll probably just steal it from you”, Bucky chuckles.

“And I wouldn’t even be mad”, Steve smirks.

“You’re too cute, you know that?” Bucky sighs.

“So they say”, Steve shrugs his shoulders. Bucky leans forward towards the deck to grab Steve’s phone, the blond just looks him on the corner of his eye.

“Do you have any good music in here?” he asks when he holds it on his hand.

“Of course I do”, he nods, “but sorry, baby, driver picks the music”, Steve announces.

“Shotgun shuts his cakehole, I know”, Bucky says and Steve giggles, “but pleeeeeeeease”, the brunet frowns his lips and opens his eyes wide.

“Don’t give me those Bambi eyes”, Steve chuckles shaking his head, “put the first playlist, you’re gonna like it, I promise”, he smiles.

“Okaaaaay”, Bucky whines looking down at the phone screen, going through the playlist and probably browsing the rest of the music, “yeah, you’re right, it’s not that bad”, he says before he puts the phone back into the deck.

“Not that bad? It’s Pearl Jam, of course it’s not that bad”, Steve laughs.

“I’m just kidding, you know I like them”, Bucky chuckles, “Eddie Vedder has such a sexy voice, like those type of voices you want to have sex with”, he says.

“Yeah, like yours”, Steve comments right away, _seriously? Calm down, Rogers!_ “You know, I like you’re voice”, he adds awkwardly, his cheeks and neck flushed, good thing he isn’t looking at Bucky since he’s trying to concentrate on the road ahead, but he can feel Bucky’s eyes on him.

“I’m telling you, the cutest”, Bucky leans to the side and kisses Steve’s cheek, his blush is probably deeper by now, “but you really think so? I mean, I practically bark with the Howling and the shower doesn’t count”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, I know, but you do sing sometimes”, Steve nods.

“I do?” Bucky wonders.

“Yes, you hum a lot and you sing from time to time, it’s only on a soft and quiet voice, not like you’re yelling or anything”, he comments, “sometimes you do it while we’re in the kitchen, or when I’m drawing on the couch and you’re going through your phone, or when you’re waiting for something, you probably don’t even notice you’re doing it”, Steve says.

“Really? I don’t… I didn’t realized I did”, Bucky sighs, “does it bother you?” he asks.

Steve isn’t sure if Bucky is being serious about it, like he really thinks Steve finds it annoying, _quite the contrary_ , he turns his head quickly to take a peek at Bucky, he isn’t looking at Steve but he notices the brunet is fiddling with his lips piercing like he always does when he gets nervous, “not at all, I think it’s adorable”, Steve says.

“Oh, shut up! I’m not adorable”, Bucky giggles, he sounds pleased with Steve’s comment, even a bit shy, “I’m a badass, tough, mean looking, hot and sexy guy, not adorable”, he laughs.

“Yeah, those too”, Steve smiles.

_Shit, Steve, you’re such sap._

And as Steve said, as soon as Bucky opens his book over his lap trying not to crush the pie, he starts to sing along with the music, a quiet and hushed mumble, Steve smiles to himself peeking at Bucky on the corner of his eye before he puts back his concentration on the road.

“Hey, I think I should give you some inside about my family, I hope they’re not too much to handle, if you need a time out just tell me”, Bucky says looking down at his lap closing the book again.

“I don’t think I’ll need time, but it’s ok, you haven’t met the Wilsons”, Steve chuckles.

“Yeah, I’ve heard they’re quite the spectacle”, Bucky says.

“Kinda”, Steve nods.

“Okay, there’s us, my mom is pretty sweet unless you piss her off, my dad looks like a serious guy, for being in the army and all that, but in reality he’s really goofy, just like my sister, which you’ve met before, so far so good?” Bucky wonders. 

“Good”, Steve smiles.

“My dad has one sister, she’s a single mother, one girl”, Buck says, “and then my mom has two sisters with their respective families: Melissa is married to Billy and they have three boys, well not exactly boys, one’s a teenager, and Crystal is married to Peter, they have a teenage girl”, he sighs.

“Woah! I didn’t knew you had such a big family”, Steve comments.

“Yeah, it’s like a circus, I love them but it can get a bit crazy, it’s a lot of people to be in the same place at the same time”, Bucky huffs.

“I understand why you say that, how should I know, right? If it was just my mom and I”, he sighs, “don’t worry, I don’t mind being around people”, Steve shrugs.

“Hey”, Bucky whispers, he reaches for Steve’s hand on the arm rest in the middle of the car and squeezes his fingers, “I didn’t mean it like that, and I know you don’t mind, I just want you to be comfortable”, he says.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be defensive, it’s just…” Steve looks to the side to see that Bucky is biting his lower lip, but he doesn’t stare for too long because he’s driving, “I always wanted a big family, but it wasn’t possible, so yeah…” he comments.

“You’ll have it one day”, Bucky leans to the side and kisses Steve’s cheek, it sounds more like a promise that something you say just because. _Don’t get me started, having a family with Bucky? That would be…_

“Your parents didn’t have any siblings?” Bucky asks interrupting Steve’s train of thoughts.

“No, my mother was adopted and my dad was an only child, my mom always wanted another kid but it was really difficult for her, she said I was like a miracle”, Steve chuckles.

“Oh, yes, you are”, Bucky mumbles, “but don’t worry, my family will be all over you from now on, be ready for that”, he laughs.

“Okay”, Steve nods.

They continue chatting for a bit longer, Bucky does for the most part, he sounds happy and excited, telling everything he can about his family, that they see each other only during the Holidays and that he misses them a lot. Bucky turns around a few times to the back seat to check up on Captain who’s happily sleeping. When Bucky is out of things to talk about his family, he puts his attention back to his book and they fall into comfortable silence, Bucky reading and humming with the music and Steve’s concentration on the freeway in front of him, until…

“Steveeeeeeeee…” Bucky whines, “I need to pee”, he says.

“Didn’t you go before we left?” Steve questions.

“Well, yeah, I did, but I want to again!” Bucky complains.

“Fine”, Steve chuckles, “in case that Captain has to do the same, I’ll pull over on the next exit, you’re like a child”, he says.

“Yes, I am, a twenty six year old child”, Bucky says proudly and Steve just laughs some more.

***

Bucky stretches his arms over his head and tilts his neck side to side, he yawns as he opens his eyes, staring outside the window to take in his surroundings; new and old buildings, modern and vintage places, unknown and familiar streets, “we’re here already?” Bucky asks.

“Well, you weren’t watching the road”, Steve chuckles.

Indeed he wasn’t, after they pulled into a gas station, Steve got out of the car along with Captain while Bucky found his way to the restroom, when he was done with that, he bought a bunch of candies to eat the rest of the road, _all pumpkin flavored_ , he offered some to Steve but he just chuckled shaking his head at Bucky, “more for me”, the brunet shrugged his shoulders.

When he was finally satisfied with the amount of sugar he had consumed, Bucky started dosing off on his seat, the background music and the movement of the car making his eyelids feel heavy, after ten minutes of fighting to stay awake, he failed.

“We’re almost there, yay!” he cheers with his fists up in the air.

They’re like ten minutes away and Bucky shifts and stares with wide eyes outside of the window, nerves and excitement all over his body, he’s always happy every time he gets a chance to visit his family, and Natasha’s been with him most of those times, but this is different, she’s away with Clint now, but Bucky isn’t alone, he’s with Steve, _Steve fucking Rogers, oh god!_

“Take your next right”, Bucky says after he turns off the GPS.

Bucky starts cheering as they get closer to his house, it’s a bit past noon, if it wasn’t because it’s Thanksgiving his parents wouldn’t be home, but since they take holidays pretty serious, and with the dinner and all that, they probably asked the day off from work, so they’re going to be there.

“That’s it, that’s the one”, Bucky points at his house as soon as they enter the street.

“You’re telling that’s the house you grew up in? Are you kidding me? It’s huge!” Steve says with wide eyes.

“Well, my parents have good jobs”, Bucky chuckles.

“Pretty damn good, I must say”, Steve says.

They pull into the driveway and he sees both of his parents’ cars but Becky’s isn’t there, _she’s probably out_ , Bucky instructs Steve to park in front of the house and he gets out the car as soon as he manages without dropping the pie on the floor.

“C’mon, let’s go!” Bucky demands opening the back door to let Captain out, Bucky’s teeth clacking with the cold, “we’re here buddy, aren’t you excited?” Bucky kneels down to pet him and the dog starts wiggling his tail quickly. Steve comes around the car with his duffle bag and backpack in hand, “do you need me to put this on him?” he asks raising the leash on his hand.

“No, it’s okay, we’re okay, right?” Bucky smiles down at Captain, he gets a bark in return. He reaches inside the car for his things and closes the door behind him, Steve puts the alarm on the car and after Bucky hands him the pie, he practically runs towards the front door with Captain behind him.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks looking next to Steve, the man nods, “you’ll be fine, don’t worry”, he moves to the side to face Steve, with his back to the door. He places his right hand on the side of Steve’s neck, he leans forward and brings their lips together, he just pecks Steve’s lips a few times, his lips are puffy and red from the cold weather and he smiles against the blond’s lips when Captain starts to lick his right hand, “would you wait a second? I’m kissing my man here”, Bucky says looking down at the dog while Steve laughs.

“You good?” Bucky wonders.

“Yes”, Steve assures with a nod.

Bucky pulls out the keys from his backpack, as soon as he reaches the keyhole the front door flies open to reveal his mother standing there with her hands placed gracefully over her hips, she’s wearing her normal lounging clothes, a shirt with a cardigan over it, jeans and flats, her hair up in a bun, everything topped with an apron, “I thought that was you”, she smiles kindly.

“Hi, ma’!” he says embracing her into a hug.

“Oh my boy, look at you”, she sighs cupping his face in her hands.

“So, mom…” Bucky says opening his eyes at wide her.

“Right!” she exclaims letting go of his face, “so, whom do we have here?” she wonders.

“Mom, this is Steve, and this is Captain”, he says taking a couple of steps back to stand between them.

“Jimmy! You didn’t told me your Steve from now was your same Steve from back then”, she smiles wide.

“What the fuck? How did you even noticed? It took me like a fucking month to realize that!” he exclaims.

“Steve Rogers, nice to meet you, ma’am”, Steve stretches out his right hand.

“Oh, sweetie”, she whispers and takes a step forward, but instead of taking Steve’s hand, she embraces him into a hug just like she did with Bucky, wrapping her arms around Steve’s neck, the blond returns the hug awkwardly with one arm and looks at Bucky under his eyelashes, Bucky nods smiling, “but no ma’am, okay? I’m not that old, call me Winnie”, she says.

“Okay, sorry ma’… I mean, Winnie”, Steve smiles, “we brought this”, he offers the pie he’s holding with his left hand.

“I know that by we you mean you, Jimmy never brings anything”, she chuckles taking the pie from Steve’s hand.

“Heeeey!” he yammers, “what about that time that I brought you one of those buckets with popcorn for Christmas”, he says.

“Jimmy, you ate half of it before you even got here”, she laughs.

“I was hungry! Anyway, he baked it, it’s amazing, my dad needs to try it”, Bucky nods.

“You didn’t have to do this, Steve, but thank you, I’ll put this in some place out of sight of the children”, she narrows her eyes at Bucky and Steve laughs, “but guys, c’mon in, I don’t want you freezing out here”, she turns around and steps inside holding the door open for them, “you know, it’s good to meet Jimmy’s famous boyfriend, I was wondering if you were real”, she chuckles.

_Shit._

Bucky didn’t talk about it with his mother, _but what was I going to say?_ That he was dating Steve? _It sounds so stupid_ , besides, he didn’t had time to explain that to her, they’re not boyfriends yet but it’s more than just dating _._

_Why is talking about feelings so goddamn complicated?!_

“Uhhh, I’m not…” Steve scratches the back of his neck looking down at the floor, _there it is, I’m not his boyfriend, say it_ , “I don’t think I’m famous”, he chuckles awkwardly.

_Are you kidding me?_

“That you know of”, his mother winks, “Cosmo sleeps inside but since the sun’s been out he’s playing in the back yard, why don’t you take this guy to meet him?” she smiles looking down at Captain.

“Sure, is dad home? And my sister?” Bucky asks.

“Yes, he’s helping me with dinner but he needed to send an email so he went up to the office, and your sister is working but she’ll be home early”, she explains.

“Okay, see you in a bit”, he says and turns to smile at Steve, the blond grins back, “hey, buddy, let’s go”, he scratches Captain’s head, “that wasn’t that bad, right?” Bucky asks as soon as he starts walking towards the living room.

“No, it wasn’t”, Steve hums.

Bucky slides open the glass door that leads to the back yard and sees Cosmo, their black German Sheppard, who’s running from side to side with a ball on his mouth, “I’m homeeeeee!” Bucky yells as soon as he steps outside. The dog starts running towards him after dropping the ball, his tongue hanging out and ears standing up proudly. He almost stumbles with the dog but he manages to stay on his feet, he kneels down and the dog starts licking his face right away, “I missed you too, I missed you so much!” he hugs the dog.

Bucky turns around to see that Steve is still standing inside with Captain by his side, the blond has one of those big smiles that make Bucky feel like he’s dreaming, Captain is wiggling his tail all over the place, “so, this is Cosmo?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, come outside”, Bucky waves his hand at Steve, “he’s been with us since he was a puppy, Cosmo became a service dog after my father was diagnosed with PTSD when he came back from his last tour, and his therapist suggested a dog, but since he’s fine now, Cosmo’s retired”, Bucky explains scratching the dog behind his ears, “I don’t think that would be a problem”, he shrugs a shoulder before he stands up.

“You should have said that before, when I adopted Captain I wanted him to be helpful in case my mom needed something if I wasn’t there, so I trained him as a service dog”, Steve smiles.

“No wonder why you’re so well behaved”, Bucky says to the golden retriever, “okay, Captain, this Cosmo”, he announces, “Cosmo this is Steve and Captain”, Bucky introduces.

Cosmo walks towards them slowly, he approaches Steve first and smells the hand he’s offering to him, and after he sniffs it he gives him his lick of approval, Steve kneels down to pet him just like Bucky was doing a few seconds before. Bucky thought for a second that Captain might get jealous but he just stands there like he’s waiting for his turn impatiently, Steve turns around a bit and waves at Captain to go towards him, “come here, buddy”, he says smiling.

_Oh god, I could watch this forever._

If Bucky pulled out his phone from his pocket and snapped a picture nobody was there to notice.

***

“Well, that worked out pretty well”, Steve sighs with his hands placed on his hips looking outside to the couple of dogs that are running all over each other.

“You workout pretty well”, Bucky says walking to stand in front of him after he slides the door shut, “hi”, he smiles wide.

“Hello”, Steve smirks.

“Shall we move on? Lets go find my dad and I’ll give you the tour”, he announces before he leans forward and pecks Steve’s lips, Bucky grabs Steve’s hand and starts walking across the living room.

The brunet begins to explain everything about the house, how it was when they moved in and the memories he has from every room, he drags Steve by the hand into the spare room downstairs and kisses him, into the laundry room and kisses him, the garage and kisses him, the dinning room and another kiss, the kitchen and…

“Hey, mom, my dad hasn’t come down yet?” Bucky asks her.

“No, I was about to go upstairs to see what he’s up to”, she smiles from where she’s mixing something inside a bowl.

“Okay, lets go”, Bucky nods.

“Do you need any help with that?” Steve offers.

“No, honey, thank you, this is almost done, you guys should rest before dinner, I know the road can be exhausting”, Winnie says. 

“Yes, yes, it is, c’mon”, Bucky answers right away and Steve chuckles softly.

They walk through the hall and up the stairs, like Steve said before, the place is huge, a two stories house that looks even bigger on the inside, the overall decoration is straight out of an IKEA catalog, but more homey, _like real people live here_. They have photo frames everywhere, Bucky’s parents, a few other family members, Bucky and his sister, the whole family including Cosmo and many more along with framed posters and art prints. Bucky’s been really happy since the moment he woke up in the car and realized they were close to his house, his face lit up with a huge smile spread across his face making the outer corner of his eyes wrinkle.

_Be my boyfriend, be my boyfriend, please, be my boyfriend._

“Hey, Mister Barnes!” Bucky yells.

“In here”, the man answers back.

They walk towards a room on the far left corner that has the door open. Steve can see a bookshelf inside and he guesses that might be the office. _Indeed, the office_. It’s a big room for an office; instead of just one desk there are two, probably one for each of Bucky’s parents, they have a lot of books in there, some history posters that caught Steve’s attention, and papers all over the place. Bucky’s dad is sitting on the chair behind one of the desks with a phone pressed against his ear and his feet up on the flat surface, Bucky and him stand by the door while Winnie walks towards him and pats his leg.

“George, put your feet down”, Winnie demands, the man sticks his tongue out at her like a child but does as told anyway.

“Dillon, you son of a bitch”, the man laughs, “hey man, I gotta go, duty calls, we’re still on for next week?” he asks, “be ready to loose all your money, you prick”, he chuckles, “thanks, you too, say hi to the fam”, he says before he puts down his phone.

“Georgie, your son’s here with his boyfriend”, she wiggles her eyebrows at him and Steve feels his face on fire, like his skin is going to melt down from his skull, a deep blush that covers all his face and neck.

Bucky squeezes Steve’s hand as soon as those words come out of his mother’s mouth, Steve has to talk about this with him, he won’t let this day pass, _mark my words_. Bucky steps further into the room and pulls Steve by the arm.

“First of all, tell me you don’t have any more holes in you”, the man points a finger at Bucky.

“Well, I’ve been wanting to get my septum done, but not yet”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder and his dad shakes his head, “sup, old man”, Bucky smiles.

“You fucking brat, come here”, the man smirks and opens his arms wide to embrace Bucky into a hug.

“Now you see where Bucky got that mouth of his”, Winnie whispers to him and Steve chuckles a bit under his breath.

Actually, Bucky got more than just the mouth from his father. He does look like his mother a bit, Bucky has her eyes, nose and mouth, everything else is his father’s, he has brown eyes instead of blue, but the eyebrows, lips, the hair, body type; he’s a bit taller than Bucky, just about Steve’s size. Steve can’t help to wonder if that’s how Bucky will look like when he gets older, a bit of gray hair on the sides of his head, wrinkles on his forehead and under his eyes.

_Bucky will be a handsome old man one day._

Steve hopes he’s there to see him.

“Dad, this is Steve”, Bucky says.

“Nice to meet you, sir, Steve Rogers”, he offers his hand to the man.

“George Barnes”, he shakes Steve’s hand firmly, “you have a strong grip, I like that, says a lot about a man”, he nods but doesn’t let go of Steve’s hand, instead he turns it a bit to see the tattoos on Steve’s knuckles, “Brooklyn boy, huh?” he says before he finally frees his hand.

“Yes, sir”, Steve nods.

“So, you were the one that put the ink on my daughter’s arm?” he lifts an eyebrow at him in question.

“Yes, sir”, he nods again.

“You did a good job”, the man says.

“Thank you, sir”, Steve answers.

“You know, you would have been a good acquirement for the army”, he comments.

“I wanted to join but they just wouldn’t take me, health issues”, Steve responds plainly.

“Don’t listed to him, he’s just teasing you”, Bucky interferes, “what do you mean they wouldn’t take you? You actually applied?” he panics.

“Of course I did”, Steve smiles.

“No, no, no, no, I can’t listen to this”, Bucky shakes his head.

“George, stop being such a pain in the ass”, Winnie says.

Steve figured he was being teased, Bucky mentioned that his dad likes to do jokes, and Steve knows how to play along, it’s not like he’s lying so he doesn’t have a problem answering. He feels his body more relaxed after this, Bucky’s parents are great, just like he imagine.

“Hey, we were just having a conversation, somebody has to be the responsible parent here”, George shrugs.

“Are you implying that I’m not responsible?” She asks in outrage with her hands placed on her hips, she looks really intimidating for a person with such small figure.

 _Kinda like Natasha_.

“No, Freddie, you’re the best parent”, he shakes his head, “better than me”, he adds quickly.

“That’s right, and don’t Freddie me”, she says and he smiles wide.

“Anyway, I’m just messing with you, just call me George”, he grins at Steve, “hey, wasn’t he your little Stevie?” he narrows his eyes at Bucky but he points a finger towards Steve.

“Uugh, yes, he is!” Bucky huffs and Steve chuckles at his frustration, he doesn’t blame him thought, he had his suspicions about Bucky in the beginning but never said anything about it. It’s funny how much they seem to know about him, _I’ll have to ask Bucky about it later._

“Hey, I don’t mean to interrupt but… is that a Weimer Pursell?” Steve asks pointing at one of the posters.

“Yes, it is, legit and everything, she gave it to me on our 20th anniversary”, George says proudly squeezing his wife’s shoulders.

“It’s a good poster”, Steve smirks.

“Yeah, it cracks me up”, the man chuckles.

“Remembered I told you my dad is into World War II memorabilia, American History and stuff?” Bucky says.

“Yeah, you mentioned it, I noticed the Norman Rockwell’s on the stairs, they’re awesome”, he nods.

“Are you into history?” George wonders.

“Yeah, a bit, I went to Art School, I did a study once on the posters and propaganda of that period of time, that’s why I know a few things”, Steve explains.

“Basically, what he’s saying is that he’s a big nerd”, Bucky smiles at him.

“Well, Steve Rogers, I like you”, George nods.

“Hey! Get your own, I saw him first”, Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s torso trapping him in place; the blond blushes a bit while Bucky’s parents chuckle.

“Steve’s gonna sleep in my room, right? Aunt Ida is coming”, Bucky asks.

“Yes, even if she wasn’t, you’re not teenagers anymore”, Bucky’s mother laughs, “besides, it’s not like you can get pregnant, if you know what I mean”, George mutters between his teeth and Bucky giggles, Steve’s blush deepens.

“But if you could, you’re big boys now, you’re responsible enough to handle that situation, right? I’d like to have grandchildren someday”, the woman smiles teasingly bating her eyelashes, a look Steve recognizes in Bucky. Steve’s face is a dark shade of red by now.

“Okay, this is getting weird, we’ll see you guys in a bit”, Bucky sighs before he pulls Steve by the arm.

“Nice to meet you”, Steve says with a small wave before he’s dragged out of the room.

“You too!” Winnie yells behind them.

“Sorry about that”, he says, “I’ll show you around before we get to my room, okay?” Bucky smiles.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, I see where you get your sense of humor, you’re parents are great”, Steve kisses Bucky’s forehead.

Bucky looks at Steve with his head slightly tilted to the side, like his brain is having trouble processing Steve’s words, he even looks a bit puzzled for a moment until he smiles wide at Steve, as if something clicked inside his mind, he gives him a little kiss on the corner of his mouth and turns around on his heel to continue with the tour.

They walk on the upper floor, Bucky shows him the master bedroom, Becky’s bedroom, and another spare room, the hall has an Americana vibe going on with the red and blue colors all over, with more posters and pictures adorning the place. And last but not least, Bucky’s room; it’s the one on the far away right with a small lounge area outside and a bathroom in front of it.

Bucky opens the door and steps inside, Steve’s right behind him, the room has Bucky’s presence all over, it isn’t as neat as the bedroom on his apartment, but he understands perfectly, this is more like a teenager room than anything: a stereo on the side with a small desk next to it, posters all over the walls, a small bookshelf, a flat screen TV on the wall and the bed in the middle of it. The room doesn’t have the industrial feel that Bucky’s current room has, but it isn’t so bright either, it’s more neutral, with blue and grey colors, dark mahogany on the furniture and the flooring. Steve can totally see teen Bucky spending most of his time inside this room.

“This is nice”, Steve smiles.

“You’re nice”, Bucky smirks.

And before Steve even has a chance to reply anything, Bucky slams the door shut and pushes Steve back towards the wall, his hands go up to cup Steve’s face to keep it in place, he leans forward and brings their lips together. The kiss is eager and hungry, Bucky is practically fucking Steve’s mouth with his tongue and Steve finds himself breathing deeply through his nose as he digs his fingers into the brunet’s hipbones.

“I’m so glad you’re here”, Bucky whispers between breaths.

“I’m glad I’m here”, Steve chuckles.

The kiss _luckily_ ends with a few softer pecks to their lips, Steve was getting hot pretty quick, Bucky launches his arms at Steve’s neck and wraps them around him, Steve does the same with Bucky’s waist, they hold each other for a few minutes, even though it feels more than that, Steve is sure he could stay like that forever.

“I’m kinda sleepy”, Bucky whispers against his neck.

“You’re always sleepy”, Steve giggles.

“C’mon, just lie down with me for a bit”, Bucky says turning around and pulls Steve towards the bed.

Bucky takes the right side of the bed, just like he always does, and grabs the blanket that is folded on the edge of the mattress, they take off their shoes and hop on the bed. Steve lies down next to Bucky, and the brunet immediately situates himself against Steve’s chest so he’s the smaller spoon, he grabs the blanket and pulls it towards his face to cover both of them. Bucky cuddles his body against Steve’s and the blond places his arm around the man’s waist to keep him right there.

Steve takes a few deep breaths in sync with Bucky’s, his chest growing in and out as the oxygen runs through his body, cheerful thoughts on the back of his mind, he remembers Bucky’s parents, and how nice they are, and how happy he feels that they support and accept Bucky as he is. He’s still a bit nervous about meeting the rest of his family, but at least the people that matter the most to him seem to like Steve, and he feels ten times better about agreeing with Bucky about coming here. But there’s still one thing…

They know Steve as Bucky’s boyfriend, _is that what I am._

_I’m not even sure…_

“Steve?” Bucky whispers.

“Yes?” He responds.

“Can I ask you something?” The brunet says.

“Sure, I wanna ask you something too”, Steve answers.

“Okay”, the brunet sighs deeply, “do you mind about what my parents said? About you being my boyfriend?” He questions.

“What do you mean?” Steve frowns his eyebrows in confusion.

“I’m sorry about that, I should’ve talk to them about it”, Bucky says.

Steve is trying not to feel disappointed about it, maybe Bucky and him are not on the same channel as he thought they were, maybe Bucky doesn’t want the same thing he does, maybe this is not a relationship as he thought it was, maybe he’s been getting all of this wrong, maybe…

“Steve, what are you thinking?” Bucky whispers again.

He takes a couple of deep breaths to try and calm himself before he’s able to speak, “You’re sorry?” he wonders.

“Maybe not sorry”, the brunet releases a desperate huff before he wiggles his body and turns around to face Steve, the blond places his arm under Bucky’s head for him to use as a pillow while his other hand brushes the brunet’s hair away from his face, “I’m not sorry, not that, I know it probably took you by surprise, the thing is, we haven’t exactly talked about this”, he explains without looking into Steve’s eyes, even though they’re face to face now.

“I know, that’s probably my fault”, Steve says.

“No, no, it isn’t”, Bucky shakes his head and he finally looks up, his eyes icy blue and wide open staring back at Steve’s, their faces are so close that Steve can feel the brunet’s warm breath against his mouth, “I haven’t make things easier, I suck at talking about my feelings, but I…” he sighs, “I like you, a lot, and I want you to know that, I wanna be with you, I really do”, he nods.

_Oh god, just say it for fuck sakes!_

“Me too, baby, I want you too”, Steve brushes Bucky’s cheek with his thumb. Bucky lowers his gaze again with an unreadable expression on his face, Steve thinks for a moment he’s disappointed, or even a little sad, he hates that look on Bucky’s face, and if he can do something to change that, at least he has to try.

“Bucky”, he says in a quiet voice, the brunet looks up with something that seems like hope plastered all over his face, his eyes shiny and bright, “would you be mine? Would you my boyfriend?” Steve finally asks.

“Stevie, I’m yours, I’ll always be yours, even when you don’t want me”, Bucky answers, his eyes are a bit glassy, but he isn’t crying, just a tiny tear falls from the corner of his eye and Steve brushes it away with his thumb.

“Oh, baby, I want to you, always, I swear”, Steve assures before he brings their lips together, just a small kiss that lasts a few seconds until he pulls back, “was that a yes?” he chuckles.

“Fuck yes!” Bucky laughs, “one thing though”, he sniffs.

“What is it?” Steve wonders.

“You’re gonna have to make a Facebook page”, he nods.

“What? Why?” he asks.

“Because I want all of our friends to know, I want everybody to know that you’re mine, just mine, and I’d like to see my Facebook with the ‘In a relationship with Steve Rogers’, it’s gonna look lame if it just says ‘In a relationship’, don’t you think?” He smiles wide.

“You’re serious about this?” Steve chuckles.

“Of course I am, boyfriend”, Bucky winks.

“I don’t knoooooow”, Steve hums pretending to think about it.

“C’mon, boyfriend!” Bucky insists poking Steve’s chest.

“Okay, just because you’re asking me”, he gives in, “but with one condition”, Steve places his index finger against his lips.

“Anything”, Bucky nods with a smile.

“Keep calling me boyfriend?” Steve says.

“Okay”, Bucky sighs, “as many times as you want, boyfriend”, he hums happily before he kisses the tip of Steve’s nose.

In a relationship with Bucky Barnes.

_It does have a ring to it, doesn’t it?_

***

Bucky wakes up feeling over a cloud, he stretches his arm to the right but his eyes fly wide open when he realizes he’s alone in the bed. _Did I just imagine everything?_ He looks around and takes in his surroundings; he’s in his parents’ house, _so that wasn’t a dream_ , but Steve isn’t there. He tries to clear his view by blinking a few times, he takes a couple of deep breaths before he decides to stand up, he feels his insides relaxing when he notices the two duffle bags that are on top of the chair he has by the desk, _Steve’s here_.

Bucky smiles to himself as he puts on his socks but he doesn’t bother with shoes, he stares at himself on the full body mirror on the closet door, he soothes his hair back into place and fixes his shirt before he walks outside of the room to head downstairs to meet his family and boyfriend.

 _Steve Rogers,_ _my boyfriend, mine_.

He trots his way down the stairs quickly; Bucky hears the ruckus coming from the kitchen and proceeds to move in that direction, he can listen his mother’s voice as he approaches the room. Bucky feels overwhelmed with joy when he enters the kitchen, his mother is near the stove mixing something in a bowl, Steve has his back towards him and he appears to be washing the dishes and his sister is standing on the corner leaning against the counter while she munches on a cookie. He pinches himself internally; he’s still not quite sure this isn’t a dream.

“Finally, he’s alive!” Becky laughs.

“I missed you too”, he says walking towards her, he embraces her into a side hug before he takes away her cookie and puts it on his mouth, she whines before she turns around to grab another from the jar. Bucky moves to where Steve is by the sink and kisses the back of his neck, the blond offers him a little smile, “hi”, he mouths.

“How come he’s washing the dishes and you’re not doing anything?” Bucky asks his sister.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t that much tired, I just rested my eyes for a bit, but then I felt like I needed to make myself useful”, Steve explains.

“Hey, you should learn something Buck-o, besides, I just got here from work”, Becky shrugs.

“I just got here from work”, he mocks her with an exaggerated whiny voice and she pushes him with her shoulder, “where’s dad?” he wonders.

“I forgot to buy extra sour cream, after that he’s picking up your aunt”, his mother informs, “I made a tuna salad if you want to eat something light right now since dinner won’t be happening until nine”, she says.

“Sounds good”, he nods.

Steve finishes washing the dishes and dries his hands with a cloth before he moves to where Bucky is standing, that sweet smile of his spread across his face, the brunet grins back at him.

“Do you saps finally got your shit together or what? Are you in a relationship or you’re just wasting time?” Becky asks.

“Rebecca, don’t be rude!” his mother demands.

“Chill, it’s just a question”, she chuckles holding her hands up defensively.

“Behave, Steve’s our guest”, his mother points a finger at her, “I’m going upstairs to take a shower and get ready, I’ll see you guys in a bit”, she says, “Steve, don’t let this two mistreat you”, she winks.

“I won’t”, he shakes his head, the older woman smiles at them before she walks out of the room.

“Well, for your information, yes, Steve’s my boyfriend”, Bucky places his hands on his hips. Becky narrows her eyes at him, like she doesn’t believe what he’s saying, and then she looks up to Steve at the blond nods with a smirk on his face.

“In that case, you should post it on Facebook, or at least somewhere on the internet”, Becky chuckles.

“Is really that important? I mean, do we have to post it online to make it official?” Steve wonders.

“He doesn’t know, right?” Becky asks, Bucky shakes his head, “noup”, he says.

“Oh my god! I need to go get my computer”, she exclaims giggling before she runs towards the door.

“Know what?” Steve frowns his eyebrows in confusion.

“You’ll see”, Bucky smirks; he takes a few steps to the side to face Steve, the blond is pressed against the kitchen counter when Bucky leans forward and places his hands on each side of the blond’s neck, Bucky is about to kiss Steve when his stomach growls at him, Steve starts laughing out loud.

“We should eat something” the blond says, “that salad that your mom made looks really good”, Steve nods.

“Go sit there and I’ll get us some plates”, Bucky says pointing at the table on the corner of the kitchen.

They fix the table and wait for Becky to come down to start eating, they’re talking about Bucky’s plans for the next couple of days, where he wants to take Steve, the places he wants to visit with him and food he wants him to try while Becky turns on her computer as she shoves a cracker on her mouth.

“So, do you know what Tumblr is?” she asks looking at Steve.

“Umm, yeah? I don’t have one or anything but I’m aware of it”, the blond says.

_Here we go._

The reason Bucky hasn’t talked about this with Steve is because he knows how the man reacts when he’s getting too much attention, and let’s just say that after Natasha published the new Red Room’s campaign that Peter made for her, Steve became quite the Internet sensation. At first it was for his appearance, _obviously_ , the way he looks on the promotional trailer and pictures, _it should be illegal_ , but then, someone did their research and linked Steve’s work to him, and since he’s really, _really, stupidly_ good and talented, Steve has ten times more fans and apparently nobody has said anything to him about it.

“You’re what they say Tumblr famous”, Becky comments, “you have a really solid fan base actually”, she giggles.

“Uuhh, what?” Steve questions, “but how’s that even…” he shakes his head.

“You know that Darcy runs a blog for your shop, right? Along with Instagram and Twitter”, she says and Steve nods, “she has a personal Tumblr, Peter has one too, for his work and personal”, Becky comments.

“Yeah, but I don’t understand what that has to do with me”, Steve huffs.

“Bucky here has a fair amount of fans too, I keep asking myself why”, she jokes, “the thing is, you’re amazing in what you do, you’re a nice guy and not mention you’re fucking hot and your friends support you, people online go crazy for that combo”, she shrugs her shoulders.

“Stop calling my boyfriend hot, my boyfriend, mine!” Bucky demands.

“Hey, I’m just saying it how it is, I’m not interested though, no offense”, Bucky winks at Steve.

“Non taken”, Steve whispers.

Bucky can see that there are a thousand and one thoughts going through Steve’s mind right now, he knew this wouldn’t be such a good idea, but it’s something that he doesn’t want to hide from Steve either, he’s actually surprised that nobody has mention it to him before. Bucky wants to keep chatting with his sister, but he’s glad when his mom calls her from upstairs because he wants to ask Steve what he thinks about all of this. Becky stands up and washes her plate before she goes to see what their mother needs. Steve is staring down at his plate when Bucky places his hand over the blond’s to draw his attention.

“Talk to me”, Bucky says.

“Why would people get invested in what everybody else is doing? I mean, am I really that interesting?” Steve whispers still not looking up at Bucky.

_He has no idea._

It breaks Bucky’s heart every time he sees that look on Steve’s face, when he’s feeling unsure with himself, Bucky knows it pretty well, he used to be like that as he grew up, with his arm, after he figured out his sexuality, when Brock happened, but years of therapy and the help from his family is what got him through the worst. Bucky has made a promise to himself that he would be there for Steve from now on, even if he says he doesn’t have to, even if he cries and tells him to go away, even if he doesn’t believe it; Bucky will be there to tell him he’s the best, that he’s amazing, that he’s talented, that he’s his.

_I wont go away again._

“Yes, you are, maybe they don’t know you, but they can see how awesome you are, I know that”, he says, “actually, I’m pretty sure I’m your number one fan”, Bucky shrugs casually and that make Steve chuckle, _finally_ , a beautiful sound on the back of his throat and a small smile on his lips, “hey, laugh all you want, I might run a fan-blog or two and you don’t even know it”, he wiggles his eyebrows.

“That’s why you want me to join Facebook?” Steve wonders with a grin on his face.

“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, but remember when you told me you want to show me off, that you want to tell people about me, that you want to be with me?” Bucky reminds and the blond nods staring at Bucky’s eyes, “that’s what I want too, you’re my boyfriend, just like I’m yours, the more people understand that the better, that way I won’t have to fight anyone”, Bucky laughs and Steve smirks.

“So, how do we do this?” Steve says pointing at the laptop, Bucky beams at his boyfriend before he types on the computer.

Bucky explains the overall of the page to Steve, but apparently he has logged in more than once on the shop’s account that he knows how the majority of the things work, he just explains to him a few tips and tricks about uploading photos and information, updating his status and sharing things. By the time that they finish with the personal info, Steve has already 60 friend requests and 30 pending tags. The profile has been up for 5 minutes and still has no picture, Steve’s popular, _whether he likes it or not_.

_Steve G. Rogers_

_Also lives in Brooklyn, New York_

_Also from Brooklyn, New York_

_Tattoo Artist at Star Spangled Tattoo Shop_

_In a Relationship with Bucky Barnes_

“Umm… I don’t know which profile picture I should post”, Steve hums.

“Oh, I have one perfect for that”, Bucky cheers before he pulls out his phone from his pocket.

“You do?” Steve wonders.

_Oh boy, do I?_

Bucky has a _shitload_ of pictures of Steve, he’s always taking photos of a lot of things, he’s one of those people that upload pictures of his food on Instagram, he updates his status every once in a while on where he is and with who, _for good memories_. The first time he took a picture of Steve they weren’t even friends, _who can blame me? Steve’s handsome_. Bucky realized that the blond didn’t noticed, after that he just kept snapping a few pictures in some special occasions, and as his suspicions, Steve is oblivious about it, he’s only aware of the ones they take together, just a handful of pictures that Bucky stares at night once in a while.

“Here”, Bucky passes his phone to Steve as soon as he finds the picture he was looking for.

“That one’s good”, Steve nods.

“Of course it is”, Bucky smiles.

In the picture, Steve is sitting on the middle of the couch of his living room, Captain is laying on his left and Steve’s hand is resting on top of him, he’s drawing something on the sketchbook he has on his lap, Bucky doesn’t know what it was since he never asks, but it must have been something of his interest because he’s smiling down at the page. It’s one of Bucky’s favorite pictures of him, it shows Steve, all of him, what he is, what he likes, what he enjoys, it’s sweet, nice and calm, _like Steve_.

“I guess I’m gonna download the app on my phone”, Steve chuckles.

“What were you drawing? In the picture”, Bucky wonders.

“I don’t know”, he shakes his head, “probably you”, he adds.

“Me?” Bucky questions.

“Yes, I… I draw you a lot”, Steve says shyly, “I hope you don’t mind”, he blushes.

“No, I don’t mind, but… why?” Bucky squeezes Steve’s hand.

“Because I like you, you take pictures, I draw”, he smirks.

_I love you. I love you. I love you!_

“I keep asking myself how are you even real?” Bucky says.

Bucky wants to be the rest of his life with this man, _I do_. He wonders for a second if it would be too fast to get down on one knee and propose to him right then and there, which it probably is, _right?_ So he doesn’t, he has to settle with a kiss for now. He leans to the side and cups his boyfriend’s face with his right hand as he puts his lips on Steve’s; they share a sweet kiss for a few seconds until they part laughing because Bucky and Steve’s phone start vibrating on top of the table at the same time.

 **Natasha:** Is Steve on Facebook?

 **Natasha:** Is he really your boyfriend? Is that a joke?

 **Bucky:** YES AND YES!  <3<3

 **Natasha:** Yes, it’s a joke? I knew it!

 **Bucky:** No, retard! Yes, he’s mine :D

 **Natasha:** holy shit, finally!

“It’s Nat”, Bucky says showing his phone to Steve.

“It’s Clint”, Steve chuckles and does the same.

 **Clint Barton:** Hey grandpa, do u have a Facebook now?

 **Steve Rogers:** Grandpa? I think you have the wrong number, Clint :p

 **Clint Barton:** HA-HA! I’ll take that as a yes. Did u grow a pair and asked Bucky?

 **Steve Rogers:** Grow a pair of what? Lemons? I don’t think they grow in pairs.

 **Clint Barton:** Clever, really clever! Good 4 u idiots. Go and make some lemonade then ;)

 **Steve Rogers:** Thanks Clint, say hi to Nat and everyone for me. Happy Thanksgiving!

“I’m telling you, this two”, Bucky laughs.

“I know!” Steve says.

“Your dad is on his way with your aunt”, Bucky’s mom comes through the door, she’s dressed with a beautiful sweetheart leaf green dress and her dark hair up in a loose bun, black pumps on her feet.

“Uh la la, mon chéri!” Bucky exclaims.

“You look really nice Mis’ess Barnes”, Steve nods.

“Thank you”, she gives them a small reverence.

“I told her that my dad’s gonna jeez his pants”, Becky shrugs her shoulders leaning on the doorframe behind their mother, Bucky and Steve chuckle at her comment, _we are really related, no doubt_.

“Becky, make yourself useful and get the dogs, it’s getting colder outside”, his mother demands.

“Dogs, as in plural?” she asks.

“Well yes, Steve’s dog is here too”, she smiles kindly.

“He is? Why didn’t you told me before? I wanna meet him!” Becky says before she turns around and starts running towards the back.

“We better get ready too”, Bucky says, “c’mon, boyfriend”, he grabs Steve’s hand and the blond smiles wide at him.

“Excuse us”, Steve says to Bucky’s mom.

“You don’t have to excuse yourself, honey”, she shakes her head, “this is your house too”, she pats Steve’s shoulder before she walks further into the kitchen.

Bucky knew that his parents were going to like Steve, he’s a good guy, _he’s likeable_ , but he can’t help but feel there’s something more to it, _they’re being way too nice_ , not that they’re not nice on a daily basis, but his dad is behaving a lot with his comments and his mother calling Steve honey is weird, _nice, but weird_.

He loves his parents, he really does.

***

“Don’t you think it’s a bit wrinkled?” Steve asks more to himself than Bucky as he buttons up his shirt.

“Not at all, it looks like you just pressed it”, Bucky nods as he approaches him, “you look great”, he says patting Steve’s shoulder.

“Thank you, so do you”, Steve says leaning forward and kisses Bucky’s cheek, the brunet smiles wide.

Steve doesn’t know if he looks great or not, he hasn’t even checked himself in the mirror, but he feels amazing, for the first occasion in a long time he doesn’t feel self conscious about himself, it’s that weird feeling of confidence when you accomplish something, it might be silly for some people, but for him, it’s big. Being in a relationship with someone involves commitment, sharing and trusting the other person, and the fact that Bucky agreed on being with him makes him feel joyful, and every time he calls him boyfriend with a huge grin on his face makes his heart skip a beat.

Bucky looks amazing, _as always_ , he’s wearing a gray V-neck sweater under a black light coat, black jeans and his trademark boots, his hair is pushed back but a few rebel strands are falling onto his face. It’s crazy how different they are but at the same time they fit together perfectly, it’s contrasting but yet matching. Steve’s outfit is also pretty casual, but at least he feels presentable with his light blue button down long sleeve shirt, dark jeans and brown boots.

Steve hums against Bucky’s forehead bringing their bodies closer with his arms tight around the brunet’s shoulders. Bucky starts kissing Steve’s jaw and barely brushing his lips against the skin of his neck, it makes Steve giggle and Bucky is apparently pleased with himself when he starts digging his fingers under his armpits and poking his ribs, Steve just continues laughing at the torture while he tries to get away from him grip.

“Stop, stop, please!” Steve begs trying to scoot to the side.

“Oh Stevie, I love your laugh”, Bucky sighs trying to reach him.

“I can laugh, okay? But no tickling, mercy, please!” He puts his arms up in defense as a shield to his body.

“Okay, okay”, Bucky huffs; Steve takes a step forward but stops when Bucky claws his hands to tease him.

“I’m being serious, or I’m gonna tickle you”, Steve points a finger at him.

“No, no, no need for threats, pinky promise”, Bucky holds his pinky in the air.

“Fine”, Steve says hooking his pinky with Bucky’s, the brunet smiles when Steve kisses his nose before he moves to pull out the comb and hair wax from his bag, “I gotta go to the bathroom and fix my hair”, Steve comments.

“I have hair stuff in there if you need anything”, Bucky says.

“Hair stuff? I thought you didn’t own any, do you even know what a comb is?” Steve teases.

“Heeeeeeey!” Bucky exclaims.

He chuckles to himself as he gets out of the room and across the hall to the bathroom, he checks himself in the reflection on the mirror, he does look good for a change, his cheeks are a bit rosy from laughing so much and they hurt because he’s been smiling like an idiot since he got here, but it’s a great feeling. He brushes his hair away from his face after he applies some product, when he’s finally satisfied with the neat look of his hair, he washes his hands and gets out of the bathroom to go and meet Bucky before they go downstairs.

“Oh my… who are you?” a lady asks from across the hallway, she starts walking towards where he is standing looking up and down at him.

“Uumm… hello? I’m Ste…” he starts but gets interrupted by Bucky who bats his hand away and stands up in front of him.

“No, get away, go away, don’t look at him”, Bucky says her.

“Excuse my nephew, I know he’s a bit rough around the edges”, she smiles teasingly.

_Ah, the aunt!_

She’s a petite woman with a quirky personality, she’s probably mid to late thirties, Becky looks a lot like her, her shoulder-length dark brown hair and small eyes are definitely a trademark from the Barnes, she’s dressed with dark wash jeans, a white blouse and a red cardigan over it with impressively high nude pumps on her feet.

“Rough around the edges my ass, you’re always asking me to introduce you to the people I date, I know you’re intensions are not good”, Bucky shakes his head but he has a huge smile on his face.

“You’re telling me you, Bucky Barnes, my loser nephew is dating this man?” she says pointing between the two of them.

“Auntie, this is my boyfriend Steve”, Bucky introduces turning around to make room for him.

“Hi, nice to meet you”, Steve offers his right hand.

“Uuuhh and he’s polite, call me Ida”, the woman says, “Bucky, where did you found him?” she shakes Steve’s hand and wiggles her eyebrows at Bucky, Steve blushes a bit but offers a shy smile, “good thing I brought you gifts”, she winks.

“You did?” he asks excited.

“Your mother told me we were having a special guest, I figured you’ll bring someone, although I must confess I’m a little offended you didn’t told me before”, she pats Bucky’s shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry about that, it’s been a bit hectic lately”, Bucky nods.

“Don’t worry kiddo, you know I love you”, she embraces him into a hug, “let me bring you the box”, she says.

“Okay, where’s Connie by the way?” Bucky wonders.

“Everybody’s downstairs”, she says over her shoulder.

“Everybody, everybody?” he yells, “you’re gonna love her gifts”, Bucky whispers to Steve.

“How come?” Steve wonders.

“The first person I came out to was my sister, then aunt Ida, then my parents”, Bucky says, “my parents didn’t knew how the sex talk was going to be, so aunt Ida offered to do it since she’s a Sexologist, she gave me my first box of condoms, she made it tradition to give me stuff like that since then”, he chuckles.

“I see, so I take you have a really good relationship with her”, Steve comments.

“That’s right”, Bucky kisses Steve’s cheek.

Bucky’s aunt comes back from one of the spare bedrooms upstairs with a white cardboard box that has a red lace around it, she stretches her arms towards Bucky for him to take it, “no peeking until later”, Ida points her index finder at him.

“Fineeee”, Bucky whines, “let me put this some place safe”, he turns around and goes back to his room.

“I think I’ve see you somewhere”, she narrows her eyes at Steve, “where did you guys meet?” she asks.

“Through a mutual friend”, Steve answers firmly.

“Natasha?” she raises an eyebrow and Steve nods, “fierce lady, right?” Ida chuckles.

“Indeed”, he nods.

“Do Bucky and you have a lot of sex?” she asks all the sudden, "who does who?" the woman adds.

Steve starts coughing because he’s shocking with his own saliva, he wasn’t expecting that question at all, not coming from Bucky’s aunt anyway, he opens his eyes wide at her, “excuse me?” he says.

“Nothing, your blush just answered me”, she chuckles and Steve just keeps coughing.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Do you need your inhaler?” Bucky walks to stand next to him quickly and puts a hand over his shoulder.

“No, I’m fine”, Steve answers trying to calm himself.

“Are you sure?” Bucky questions running a hand up and down Steve’s back.

“Yeah, it’s okay”, he assures.

“Awww, you’re so cute”, Bucky’s aunt sighs, “c’mon, they’re waiting for you downstairs”, she adds.

“Okay, we’ll be right there”, Bucky says.

“No quickies!” she winks at them before she walks away.

Bucky chuckles at his aunt’s comment and puts his hands on each side of Steve’s neck, “I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you about her”, he whispers.

“Don’t worry, it just took me by surprise, that’s all, I don’t mind”, he shakes his head.

“Yeah, she means good, just ignore her, I’ll deal with her”, Bucky chuckles.

Steve places his hand on Bucky’s nape to hold the brunet’s head in place, he moves a step forward and closes the little distance between them as he puts his lips against Bucky’s, a chaste and sweet kiss for the occasion, Steve can’t risk to shove his tongue down Bucky’s throat standing there on the hallway, anybody can come up in any second and that’s not the first impression he wants to give to the rest of his boyfriend’s family.

“Lets go”, Bucky holds Steve’s right hand with his left as they move to the lower floor.

The first thing that Steve notices is the noise, the house is ten times more alive with all the chatting and screaming going on, there are candles lit all over the place and the sweet smell combined with the food is amazing. On the back of the dinning hall there’s a small bar where three men are gather around it, Bucky’s dad, and Bucky’s uncles, or at least that’s what Steve assumes.

“Hey, Bucky, do you guys want a drink?” George asks. They walk towards them, Steve behind Bucky; the brunet grabs the glass that’s offered to him, “what do you want?” Bucky’s dad nods his head towards Steve.

“Dad, Steve doesn’t drink alcohol”, Bucky comments and turns to the side to smile at Steve.

“Is that so?” George wonders lifting his eyebrows.

“Yes, sir”, Steve answers.

“Guys, this is my boyfriend Steve”, Bucky introduces.

“Steve Rogers, nice to meet you”, he offers his right hand.

Billy, lean and tall man, gray-blue eyes, brown hair with a buzz cut, tanned skin, big nose, strong jaw, dress pants and shirt all in navy blue. Peter, shorter guy, also lean body, pale white skin, blue eyes, short white hair even though he doesn’t look that old, gray sweater and black jeans.

After that, Bucky drags him back to the kitchen, where all the ladies are supervising the food, drinking wine and chitchatting. They make a lot of noise when they come to sight, screams and cheers, Steve can’t help but wonder what all the fuzz is about.

“Calm down, I know”, Bucky soothes, “this is Steve”, he says.

Steve waves at them, the four ladies wave back with smiles and whispers between them, Bucky just chuckles shaking his head. There is Ida, who is George’s sister; Winnie, Melissa and Crystal, are sisters but Winnie, Bucky’s mother, doesn’t look anything like them. Melissa, redhead with long, long hair, green eyes, rosy skin, curvy and tall, pink and purple dress. Crystal, shoulder length blonde hair, small complexion, yellow blouse and black pencil skirt.

They hug them and smile before the couple decides to move along to the living room, where the kids are gathered. Steve notices the two teenagers sitting next to Becky on the couch, a male and a female, the girl looks quite entertained with the conversation they’re having, but the boy not so much; Max, fourteen years old and Luna, thirteen years old. They’re walking in that direction when Bucky is almost tackled by a tiny girl; she’s wearing a baby-blue dress with royal blue tights on her legs, purple rain boots on her feet, her wavy caramel hair all over the place and her blue eyes wide open.

“Buckyyyyyy!” she yells running towards Bucky with her little arms open wide.

“Princess, is that you? You’re so big now!” Bucky kneels down in front of her to pick her up on his arms, she launches her small hands at Bucky’s neck and kisses his cheek, she starts giggling trying to cover Bucky’s mouth with her hands when the man does the same, placing kisses all over her face, _and Steve died_.

_Dead. Gone. Finito._

_Too cute. I can’t with this._

“Of course I’m big, I’m 6 now”, she nods as Bucky balances her on his arms, “and I’m not a princess anymore”, the girl announces.

“What do you mean? It doesn’t matter how old you are, you will always be a princess”, Bucky says poking her tummy, she giggles some more in return.

“I’m not!” she yells in frustration but she doesn’t seem sad.

“But why?” Bucky asks trying to fix her dress. She stares at Bucky like she’s trying to put words together to explain him something but she appears to be having trouble with what she’s trying to say, Bucky stares at her patiently and Steve decides to give it a try.

“Maybe she says she’s not a princess anymore because she’s now a queen”, Steve comments, “queens are better, don’t you think?” he asks her.

Bucky gives him one of his million dollar smiles, amusement plastered all over his face and Steve just shrugs at him and returns the smile, “yes, yes, yes, that! I’m a queen!” the little girl yells in success.

“I see, that makes sense, so can I be your king?” Bucky questions her.

“I don’t need a king”, she answers as a matter of fact.

“Like Elsa”, Steve comments.

“Yes, like Elsa! Do you know Elsa, Bucky?” she asks in excitement.

“I’ve heard about her”, he says.

“Is that why your dress is blue? Like Elsa’s?” Steve wonders.

“Yes”, she moves her little head up and down fast, “who are you?” she opens her eyes wide.

“Pardon me, queen Connie, allow me to introduce you, this is my knight, Steve”, Bucky puts a hand over Steve’s shoulder as he holds her tight against his chest with his other arm, Steve chuckles at his boyfriend’s comment.

“Pleasure to meet you, your highness”, Steve vows his head at her.

“You’re a knight?” she asks in surprise, “can you be my knight?” Connie wonders opening her arms wide towards Steve for him to hold her, Bucky looks at him to search for an answer; Steve nods with a smile and takes a step forward to reach for her. She places her arms on Steve’s shoulders, and then she moves her tiny right hand and tries to squeeze his bicep, “you’re so strong”, she whispers.

“And what about me? Did you forgot about me already?” Bucky asks her.

“No! You’re my favorite person in the whole wide world”, Connie puts her arms up in the air and moves them around to form a big circle, “you’re funny, you can be like Olaf”, she decides.

“I wanna be Olaf!” A boy comes running towards them.

“NO! I’m Olaf!” The bigger boy behind him shouts.

Mackenzie, 9 years old and Matthew, 7 years old. Max, Mac and Mat, _clever, right?_

“Hey, everybody can be Olaf, but you have to sing first”, Bucky gets down in one knee and hugs each of the boys with his arms.

“Sing? How?” the smaller boy asks.

“Like this”, Bucky clears his throat, “In summeeeeeeerrrrrrr!” he sings, Steve cracks a laugh at Bucky’s impersonation of Olaf, the three kids begin laughing when Bucky continues singing in a mocking voice, “what were you doing before?” the brunet asks the children.

“We were drawing”, Matt says, “I was playing with the dogs”, Mac adds.

“Okay, lets go then”, Bucky says standing up, he looks back over his shoulder to Steve and smirks at him, a cute little smile that makes Steve feel over the moon.

“Do you wanna go with them?” Steve asks the girl on his arms and she nods, Steve kneels to put her down and fixes the back of her dress.

“You’re coming too, right?” she asks.

“Sure”, Steve says standing up, he brushes his legs before he starts walking, he feels someone approaching him from the side, the same someone that places a hand on his shoulder.

“He has always liked children”, it’s Becky, he turns his head to the right to see her and she nods her head once towards Bucky, “cute, huh?” she chuckles before she walks away. _The cutest_. Steve smiles to himself looking over to where Bucky is sitting on the floor across the living room, but Steve gets interrupted by the little girl in front of him that’s pulling his index finger, he smiles down at her and holds the little hand she’s offering, he begins walking slowly to let her lead the way.

***

“I didn’t knew you had another dog”, Mac says petting Captain’s head softly with his little had.

“We don’t, Captain is Steve’s dog”, Bucky comments.

They’re sitting on the floor with a bunch of coloring books, sheets of paper and crayons around them, his mother always keeps those in hand for every time the kids come around. Connie is lying over her chest next to Steve; Matt is invested on his coloring book while Matt just keeps playing with Cosmo and Captain.

“Well, I like to think about him more like my best friend than just my dog”, Steve says looking down at the coloring book in front of him.

“I thought Bucky was your best friend”, Connie looks up to meet Steve’s eyes.

“Well, he is too, you can have more than one best friend”, Steve nods at her.

“But Steve’s not only my best friend, he’s my boyfriend”, Bucky adds, Steve turns his head to the left to see Bucky’s face, the brunet offers him a smile and his boyfriend is happy to do the same.

“He is?” Matt questions.

“Yes, does that bother you?” Bucky asks kindly, by this time he has the attention of the three children that are looking at him with puzzled looks, he has never talked about this with a kid, but he knows it won’t be that difficult to make them understand, none of their parents mind about Bucky being gay, if something, they’ve encourage him to be himself and nothing else.

“No, it doesn’t, I think it’s cool”, Matt shrugs his shoulders casually.

“But he’s a boy like you!” Connie giggles.

“Yes, you’ll see, they teach you that girls like boys and boys like girls, right?” Bucky asks and the three of them nod, “sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls, and there’s nothing wrong with that”, he explains.

“There’s a kid in my class that has two moms”, Mac comments.

“And you think that’s bad?” Bucky questions.

“No, because they love each other, duh!” Mac says and his brother chuckles.

“And you hold hands?” Connie asks with her face cup in her hands and her head supported on her tiny elbows.

“Yes, we do”, Steve smiles at her.

“And we kiss too, like this”, Bucky leans to the side and kisses Steve’s cheek, he starts making kissy noises against his boyfriend’s neck and he chuckles trying to get away from his grip, that makes they kids laugh out loud and giggle, Bucky feels joyful and content.

Bucky’s mind drifts off to the beginning of last year, when he was still with Brock, he tried to mention one or twice his family, perhaps even considered introducing that man to them, but every time he said something about relatives, Brock shut down and ignored him, saying it was a waste of his precious time. It makes Bucky sick to think he was after a man like that, someone that will never care about anyone other than himself, he will never treat his little cousins they way that Steve does, or try to help in the kitchen because that’s _“where bitches belong”_ , or even agree to come and meet them for that matter.

The man wasn’t always like that, or maybe he was but Bucky didn’t notice at the beginning, but gladly, he’s not there anymore, he’s here with his family, he has old and new friends that care about him and let’s not forget about Steve.

_Oh, Steve Rogers._

They continue coloring on the books while Bucky just stares between the people in front of him, not putting much attention to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles coloring book in front of him.

“I give up, I can’t even draw stick figures”, Bucky drops the red crayon he has on his hand, “but Steve here can draw anything you want”, he says, Steve turns his head and raises his eyebrows, Bucky just winks at him.

“Like a pony, or a kitty, or how about turtle?” Connie asks in excitement.

“Anything!” Bucky cheers.

“Really?” Matt questions.

“I can try”, Steve shrugs. The kids gather around Steve when he starts drawing something on a sheet, the three of them with wide and alert eyes looking down at the pencil moving across the paper.

_This, forever, please._

“Uuggh, I’m bored, this fucking sucks”, Max huffs dropping himself in the couch next to them.

Bucky checks that the kids aren’t paying attention to what Max said, they’re luckily too invested in the little drawing lessons that Steve is giving them that they didn’t hear anything. He turns around to narrow his eyes at Max, “language”, he demands to the teenager.

“You’re the last person that should be saying that, besides, you’re not my father”, Max crosses his arms over his chest defensively.

“Don’t you think I know that? At least not in front of the kids, I’m not trying to be your father, but I believe that I deserve some respect”, Bucky says in a firm voice.

“Yeah, whatever”, Max shrugs his shoulders before he stands up again and walks away.

Steve must have notice his frustration after he huffed because the man places a hand over Bucky’s knee and gives him a worried look, “is everything okay?” his boyfriend whispers.

“Yes, it’s just…” he sighs, “I understand he’s in a difficult age but we haven’t been in good terms lately, he’s always defensive towards me and I don’t even know why and when I try to talk to him he gets like this”, Bucky says.

“Hey, I don’t think he has something against you, maybe in time he’ll realize he’s wrong”, Steve runs his hand through Bucky’s hair brushing it away from his face.

“I hope”, Bucky says, “kids I get”, he points towards the children that keep their attention on their sheets of paper, “teenagers, not so much”, he chuckles.

“Don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine, he’ll be fine, you’re family after all”, Steve nods.

“What would I do without you?” Bucky leans forward and kisses Steve’s forehead.

“Strangle him, probably”, he jokes and Bucky laughs along with him.

“Guys, dinner’s ready”, Winnie informs all the sudden.

Their dinning table is big enough to fit all the adults but they have to arrange a little table on the side for the kids, the teenagers are forced to sit with them to help them eat, Luna doesn’t say anything but Max whines as always. Bucky’s dad is sitting on the head of the table, with Bucky in one side and his mother in the other, next to his mom is Becky, and she’s sitting across from Steve who’s next to Bucky. They normally take turns with giving thanks, someone different each year, Bucky feels lucky that it’s his dad’s turn and not his, _because I suck with words_ , and having Steve smiling next to him wasn’t going to help at all.

The speech is beautiful and simple; they’ve never been too religious so his dad concentrates in thanking things like will of strength, supportive friends and families, good company, kind and understanding people, and to his father sense of humor, poker and beer, he wins a smack in the back of the head from Bucky’s mom for that. They cheer and clap when he’s done and they finally dived into the food, everything looks amazing and tastes even better, and apparently, Steve loves turkey.

_Like, A LOT!_

The couple’s knees are rubbing against each other’s every time that Bucky leans to the side and tries to steal something from Steve’s plate, even though he can simply serve himself some more but Steve doesn’t mind at all, and if they exchange too many smiles nobody says anything about it, or when they squeeze their hands under the table, no one is there to notice.

When the dinner is done it’s time for dessert, he’s waiting to have a piece of the pie that Steve baked but apparently his dad hover all of it for himself, Bucky has to settle for pumpkin pie and vanilla cake, and since it isn’t enough sugar for him, he serves himself a cup of coffee with a _shitload_ of pumpkin flavored creamer and plain black coffee for Steve.

Everybody is chatting about nothing and everything, aunt Ida embraces Steve into a conversation about his work and Becky joins them, Bucky is talking with his parents about Natasha and his work at Stark Industries, their uncles arguing about genetics and embryos _or some shit like that_. Bucky stands up from his chair when he notices that Connie is practically falling asleep over her plate, he informs aunt Ida that he’s going to tuck her in bed.

“I’ll be right back”, he whispers to Steve, his boyfriend nods smiling.

He walks to the children’s table and pokes Connie’s shoulder to draw her attention, “baby, lets go to bed”, Bucky says when she looks up with hooded eyelids.

“I’m no baby”, she mumbles sleepily.

“Okay, tiny adult, lets go”, he chuckles. She stands up from her chair and he leans forward to carry her on his arms, she wraps her arms around Bucky’s neck surprisingly tight and her little head resting on Bucky’s shoulder as he supports her on his right arm.

She isn’t that heavy but she’s growing so fast and Bucky can’t help to feel proud, he loves all of his cousins, he really does, but she’s really special to him. When aunt Ida informed them she was pregnant it was a surprise to everyone because she thought she couldn’t conceive children, she had always wanted kids but since time was passing by it was harder for her to get pregnant, she considered adopting but she still had no couple and the process was really excruciating. When she was finally giving up on the idea of having kids of her own, _a wild night of sex and too many shots of tequila_ , according to aunt Ida, she found out she was pregnant, apparently the guy is a friend of hers but he wasn’t interested in having kids, he gave up the rights of being the father and aunt Ida was more than trilled about having this lovely girl all to herself.

They get into the room and Bucky helps her get into her Frozen pajamas, _of course_ , instructs her to wash her teeth even though she whined during the whole process, he brushes her hair and cleans her cake covered face before he puts her down on the middle of the huge bed, “did you had fun today?” Bucky asks as soon as he places the blankets over her body.

“Yes”, she whispers.

“I’m glad you did”, he brushes her hair away from her face, “now is time to sleep, okay?” Bucky says form where he’s sitting on the edge of the bed.

She sighs happily after she nods, she closes her eyes and for a moment Bucky thinks she’s already asleep until she speaks again, she opens her blue eyes a little to look up at him, “Steve’s handsome, he’s nice, like a prince”, she yawns.

“He is, isn’t he?” Bucky chuckles softly.

“Are you in love with him?” she wonders.

_Love is a big word for a child of her age, isn’t it?_

“Yes, I am”, he nods looking down at her.

“Are you going to marry him?” Connie asks.

“Maybe, someday”, Bucky smiles.

_I hope._

“Can I be the flowers girl?” she questions looking hopeful with a tiny smirk on her lips.

“Of course you can, and I bet you will look beautiful, you are beautiful”, he says.

“I don’t have a dad”, Connie shakes her head with her eyes close, “but if I could choose, I want you and Steve to be my dads so I can have two”, she mumbles.

 _Shit, don’t cry, Bucky_.

Bucky swallows the lump on his throat and tries not too blink to prevent the tears that are gathering on his eyes to fall down his cheeks. Bucky grew up sharing things and memories with his little sister, they have both of their parents and their family is great, his aunt Ida is always spoiling and supporting them. But getting to experience this, with this tiny child saying things like that and him being a _grown ass_ man now, is a whole different experience; he wants to give this child the moon and if he can’t have children of his own some day, he has her.

“Well, and I assure you we’ll be honored to be your dads”, Bucky leans forward and kisses the girl’s forehead, “sweet dreams, princess”, he whispers.

“Good night, Bucky”, she mumbles.

Bucky lies down in the bed next to her to see how her little chest grows in and out slowly with every breath, when he notices she finally falls asleep, he stands back up and turns off the light on the nightstand, he moves around the bed quietly and closes the door behind him when he gets out of the room. He sighs to himself moving through the hall and into his room; he pulls out his old acoustic guitar from the closet and goes back downstairs to meet his family.

***

“Hey, what is that for?” Steve asks Bucky when he arrives on the living room with a guitar in hand.

“He asked me if I can teach him”, he nods towards Mac who’s sitting patiently on the couch across from them, “this guy gave up?” Bucky chuckles.

“Yeah, he was really tired”, Steve says looking down at Matt sleeping next to him on the couch. Both of the kids dragged Steve back to the living room after Bucky went to put Connie to bed even though Steve wanted to stay behind and help cleaning up the kitchen, they asked him to draw tattoo designs for them to keep and maybe when they got older, Steve could do them for real, Mac asked for a car and the smaller kid wanted a dog, “big and happy, like Captain”, the kid had said.

Mac took a seat on the couch, looking down at the drawing on his legs as he waited patiently for Bucky and by the time that Steve finished the other sketch, Matt was already asleep with his thumb sucked into his mouth. Steve took off the little kid’s shoes and put a cushion under his head, he noticed a blanket on the armrest of the couch and wrapped the child with it.

“I better go to him before we get a tantrum”, Bucky laughs.

“Okay”, Steve nods; Bucky leans forward and kisses the top of his head before he turns around.

Steve considered going with him for a moment until he turns to his right and notices the couple of annoyed teenagers sitting on the chairs a few meters from him. He remembers what Bucky said about Max earlier and that gives him an idea, he just wants to talk to the kid and maybe see if he can help him with something, he’s had experiences like this with teenagers, when they act defensively and like the world is against them but they just need someone to listen. He stands up and runs his hands through his thighs a couple of times and sighs before he begins walking towards Luna and Max.

“I would have never took you for a gay guy, you don’t seem gay”, Max says as soon as Steve sits down on the free chair between him and Luna.

“How does one seem gay exactly?” Steve wonders.

“Well, I don’t know, you can tell sometimes, and others are just deceitful”, he huffs.

“Nobody is trying to deceit you, don’t you think you’re being a bit pre-judgmental? I mean, you don’t know me”, Steve shakes his head.

“I don’t even know my friends”, Max mutters.

_Where is this coming from?_

“Dude, what the hell is your problem?” Luna asks but Max doesn’t answer.

“I’m not gay by the way”, Steve comments.

“You’re not? But you’re Bucky’s boyfriend, aren’t you?” Max frowns his eyebrows.

“Yes, but I’m bisexual, not gay”, Steve says.

“Does that mean you settle for whatever?” Max asks.

“First, I don’t settle and second, it means I don’t care if the person I’m interested in is a woman or a man, if they have a penis or a vagina, is much more than that”, he explains.

“You really like Bucky, don’t you?” Luna wonders.

“Yes, I do”, he smiles at Bucky who gives him a little wave from across the living room.

“Hey, Becky told me you’re a tattoo artist, how come you don’t have any?” she asks, “other than those”, she points at his hands.

“Well, it’s not a requirement, I do have a lot of tattoos though, just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there”, Steve shrugs.

“Like being gay”, Max comments.

“Exactly, it’s my body, my sexuality, my life, it’s nobody’s business but mine”, he says.

“I think you’re pretty awesome”, Luna smiles, “maybe you can do my first tattoo someday”, she adds.

“Thank you”, he nods, “and sure, when you’re old enough”, the blond chuckles.

Steve can see that Max is still struggling with himself, he’s having a hundred thoughts going through his mind, his face looks confused and frustrated and Steve wants to know why.

“Do you mind that Bucky is gay?” Steve asks him.

“I don’t mind about him”, he answers plainly.

“But you mind that other people are?” Steve frowns his eyebrows, “because if you do, I think we’re gonna have a problem, I believe that people have a right to be themselves”, he comments trying not to sound too defensive.

“No, no, no”, Max shakes his head, “it’s not that”, he says, “the thing is…” he huffs, “a few months ago my best friend confessed to me that he’s gay”, the teenager says all the sudden.

_There it is._

“I see, and what’s the problem?” Steve asks.

“I thought I would’ve noticed something like that but I didn’t”, he shakes his head, “and what if he likes me?” Max adds.

“I don’t think he does, you’re ugly”, Luna laughs and Max flips his finger but he’s smiling at her.

“It’s unfortunate but it’s something you can’t control”, Steve says, “has he done something for you to believe that?” he asks.

“Not at all, I don’t care he’s gay”, Max says more to himself, “actually that’s the thing, he talks to me about guys he finds attractive or that he likes and it’s weird, I don’t know what to say”, he explains looking down at his hands.

“You like girls, right?” Steve questions.

“Duh, yes”, Max chuckles.

“How do you think he feels when you talk about a girl with him, him being gay obviously doesn’t know what you’re talking about, he probably feels weird too”, Steve nods.

“I never saw it that way”, Max says.

“There you have it”, Steve smiles, “I can’t tell you what to do, but if you really care about this friend of yours I think you should talk to him, tell him how you feel about all of this, be there to support him and listen to him, it’s the least you can do”, he comments.

“Yeah, I’m gonna try that”, Max smirks.

“Look at Bucky for example, you don’t know if it was hard for him or not when he realized about his sexuality, it’s not easy for everyone and fortunately he has the support of his family and friends”, he sighs deeply, “perhaps your friend doesn’t count with that but at least you can be there for him, to accept him as he is”, Steve says, “maybe you can even ask Bucky for some tips, he’s your cousin, I’m sure he’ll be happy to help”, he smiles.

“Yeah, you’re right”, he grins, “I think there’s something I need to do”, he stands up and walks away but stops a couple of steps away, “um, thank you, Steve”, he says over his shoulder.

“There’s nothing to thank for”, Steve says.

“You’re really smart, you know”, Luna nods.

“Thanks, I try”, he laughs.

“I’m gonna go get a drink, do you want something?” she asks standing up.

“I’m fine, thank you”, he hums.

Steve remains on his chair looking at Bucky, he sees how Max walks towards him, he stands in front of him looking down at his feet, balancing his weight on his heels awkwardly, he says something to Bucky, his boyfriend places the guitar on the couch behind him and turns around to hug Max, they hug for a few seconds while Bucky whispers something into the teenager’s ear before they part smiling at each other. Max points at the guitar behind Bucky and he takes a step to the side to let him take his place, Bucky says something to the bothers and they laugh with him, his boyfriend pats Max’s shoulder, after that he proceeds to walk towards Steve.

“Hi there” Steve says when Bucky is closer.

“Hi”, he smiles taking the seat to his left where Max was previously sitting, “what did you said to him?” he wonders.

“We just talked, why?” Steve says.

“He apologized to me, he said he was sorry for being an asshole and that he thinks I’m awesome”, Bucky chuckles.

“You are awesome”, he nods with a smile on his lips, “as it turns out, Max found out that his best friend is gay and it took him by surprise, it didn’t had anything to do with you, he was confused, that’s all”, Steve explains.

“I don’t get it, how do you do it?” Bucky shakes his head.

“Well, we were teenagers once, you just gotta put yourself on his place”, Steve shrugs.

“Shut up and kiss me”, Bucky demands.

_Hell yeah!_

Yes, Thanksgiving is one of Steve’s favorite holidays, _hands down_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY ARE OFFICIAL, I REPEAT, WE'RE OFFICIAL!
> 
> These idiots are finally talking, wooh! We're getting somewhere, boyfriends, yayyy <3
> 
> I threw a few quotes from different things here and there, if you spotted them, 10 points for your house! :D
> 
> I'm sorry about the delay of this chapter, I was planning to upload it this past Friday but things happened and couldn't find the time, but better late than never, right? I hope you like how I portrayed Bucky's family, I just want him to have good things in life, both of them, really c:
> 
> Anyway, as always, thank you very much for everything, I love reading your feedback, comments, opinions and all, let me know what you think, I'm always around. Have a lovely week! :)


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to upload this until tomorrow morning because my past week was a bit chaotic with school, exams and all but today has been really gloomy, it hasn't stop raining, so I decided to go ahead and put this up now, you guys make me feel happy c:
> 
> *Spoilers* Sweetness overload ahead, you've been warned <3.<3

“Hey baby”, Steve whispers placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Mmmmm”, Bucky grunts into the pillow, barely giving signs of life.

“I’m gonna go for a run, okay?” Steve informs.

“Mmmhm”, the brunet hums, then he mumbles like he’s trying to say something but the words don’t fully form because he’s drifting in and out of his dream, Steve chuckles looking down at his sleepy boyfriend on the bed. Steve leans forward and kisses the mess of brown hair before he stands up and walks towards the door silently to try not to disturb him.

Thanksgiving dinner went extremely well the previous night, and Steve couldn’t feel happier about it, after his talk with Max everything calmed down, Bucky’s uncles left late at night, just Ida and Connie stayed behind since they’re spending the weekend here too, the kitchen was clean in no time and everybody went up to their rooms.

By the time both of them got into their pajamas, Steve trying not to look over his shoulder to Bucky’s naked back when he got rid of his clothes, they got under the covers on the bed and Bucky automatically launched his hands at Steve’s body. Their little make out session ended up being not so little and when Steve forced himself to back out, he was half hard under his sweatpants and panting for air, his hair was probably all over the place, he felt thankful he was lying on the bed because his knees felt weak and his head dizzy just by looking at Bucky, who looked gorgeous under the dim street lights that came through the curtains.

Steve wanted to have sex with Bucky so bad, and the brunet too, he practically begged Steve to take off his clothes when his hands slid down his shirt and his fingers were playing with the piercings on the brunet’s nipples, Steve loves all of his boyfriend’s piercings, but the ones on his nipples are hands down the ones he loves the most, the way that the metal contrast against the pink sensitive skin and when Bucky trembles every time that Steve touches them with his fingertips is his favorite thing about them.

Bucky continued pulling the blond’s hair and Steve’s skin was on fire, the both of them kissing and touching everywhere they could reach, moving and turning on the bed, but Steve had to stop, he needed to stop, Bucky was starting to moan a bit louder with every touch and he was sure that someone was going to hear them, Steve imagined having to face Bucky’s parents the night after or Bucky’s sister and aunt teasing them, Steve would die of embarrassment. It took a lot of strength and will power to stop thrusting his aching cock against Bucky’s but he managed to do it, his boyfriend huffed and complained and after they calmed down they managed to fall asleep.

Today, he woke up early after spending the night next to his boyfriend Bucky Barnes, _how surreal is that?_ He felt energized from the moment he opened his eyes and saw the sunlight peeking through the fabric on the windows, he hasn’t exercised since his incident a week ago and his body is begging him for some activity, so he stood up carefully trying to not wake up Bucky and put on some pants and a hoodie.

“An early riser, good morning! I bet Bucky’s pretty out right now”, Winnie says from the moment that Steve puts a foot inside the kitchen.

“Hello, morning, and yes, he is”, Steve nods smiling.

“As usual, I hope you slept well, do you want some breakfast?” she asks.

“Yes, I did, and no thank you, maybe just some water”, he says, “I’m going out for a run and I was planning on taking Captain, do you mind if I take Cosmo too?” Steve questions.

“Serve yourself whatever you want, and not at all, he’s gonna love you for that, we normally take him for walks a couple of times a week but we’ve been really busy lately”, she comments.

“Okay, thank you”, Steve says as he opens the fridge to get a bottle of water.

“Listen, I want to talk to you”, Winnie sighs, Steve doesn’t say anything, he isn’t sure what this is about, if he should feel anxious or nervous, he just follows her with his eyes when she stands from the chair she was sitting in and moves to put her plate on the sink, “this is not going to be a ‘if you hurt my son, I’ll hurt you’ type of conversation, I think I don’t need to tell you that”, she says after she turns around to face him.

“No ma’am, I understand”, Steve nods leaning on the counter behind him a few steps away from her.

“I know how much my son means to you, I can tell by the way you look at him, and I haven’t seen Jimmy this happy in so long and you have a lot to do with that”, Winnie offers him a small compassionate smile.

“Well, he makes me happy too”, he smirks back.

“When my Becca came back after her trip to Brooklyn she told me a bit about you and I called Natasha to ask her, she said to me that you mean well”, the woman nods, “I don’t like to get into my son’s business but I worry sometimes, he tends to bottle a lot of things and that’s not good for him”, she says, “did you know you’re the first boyfriend that Jimmy brings home? First ever”, she comments.

“Really?” Steve wonders in surprise.

“I know he has dated a few people as you youngsters call it, or even more than a few and we don’t like to push him to talk about it”, she shakes her head looking down at her hands, “I used to think it was because he had resentment towards us for the childhood he had, he was so little when the accident happened and he suffered so much”, Winnie sniffs, Steve can see she’s trying really hard not to cry, her eyes are glassy and she had to clear her throat a few times.

He takes a few steps to the side and places his hand over her shoulder, a bit shy at the beginning but he feels more sure about it when she puts her hand over his and gives it a small squeeze, “but he’s okay now and that’s thanks to you, you guys mean the world to him, he wouldn’t be where he is if it wasn’t for you”, Steve says to her.

“He was crying the first time he woke up on the hospital, he was in a lot of pain but the first thing he said was that he needed to go back to his friend Stevie because you where gonna be worried for him, because you told him not to get up on that tree”, she sniffs again but this time a couple of tears did manage to escape her eyes, “they told us he was going to lose his arm but that he had a chance if we tried a new treatment here and then George got transferred so it was perfect, he cried so much when we told him we were going to move and I’m sorry he never got to see you again after that”, Winnie shakes her head.

“I remember I cried too, but I didn’t blame anyone, you did what was best for him and that’s all that matters”, he nods.

“That’s exactly what your mother said”, she chuckles cleaning her cheeks with her fingertips, “I was so damn glad when I saw you standing on our footstep and I realized who you were, I think it’s amazing that you found each other, I thought the name was just a coincidence”, Winnie laughs.

“I’m glad too”, Steve smiles wide, “I didn’t know you met my mother”, he says.

“Well, the first time that my 5 year old son came back from summer camp and the only think he talked about was his new best friend Stevie I needed to know what was going on”, she laughs, “the next day I went to the reception and asked around just in time when your mother was dropping you off, you were this cute little thing and look at you now”, Winnie smiles fondly.

“Yeah, I get that a lot”, he chuckles scratching the back of his neck; she turns around to grab a coffee mug from the top counter and places it the coffee machine.

“I noticed right away she was a nurse, not because of her purple scrubs but because she looked so tired with bags under her eyes, her blonde hair up in a bun and her wrinkled hands but with such determination in her face, always willing to help people”, she says as she sets up her coffee, “we remained in contact while you boys were in summer camp, we even went for a coffee a few times, I called her to inform her about Jimmy and that we were moving, she was really upset and worried, she wished us the best and told us to call her if we ever needed anything even though she didn’t have much to offer”, Winnie sniffs again.

“Yeah, she was nice like that”, he smiles.

“She always mentioned how sick you were, she was terrified you were going to stop breathing any moment but she wanted you to have a normal childhood so bad, she worked so hard for you, you were everything to her”, she says kindly.

“And she was everything to me”, he answers.

“It was so unfortunate what happened to her but I’m sure she fought until the very end”, Winnie nods and now Steve wants to cry, and he might because his throat has been filling with tears since the moment that she said that Bucky suffered after the accident and he couldn’t be there for him.

“Yeah, she did”, he nods biting down his bottom lip.

Is something about people talking about his mother and witnessing the impression she caused in everyone around her it makes his heart ache, he misses her so much, but in some way she’s still here with him; everything that Steve is, everything he believes and what he stands for is what his mother taught him, to do the right thing, to be kind, to try to see the good in everybody, to stay true to who he is, all that he is it’s thanks to his mother and that’s why he feels like she’s not entirely gone.

“You remind me so much of her”, she leans to the side to swipe away the tear that’s falling down Steve’s cheek, “I don’t know how this relationship is gonna go for you guys but I hope you keep being friends no matter what, and as long as that happens this will always be your home”, Winnie squeezes his shoulder.

“I appreciate that, you have a lovely family and for you to open up your doors to me like that it means a lot, thank you”, Steve says.

“Oh honey, you’re mother would be so proud of you”, she cups Steve’s face on her hands and he smiles down at her looking into her blue eyes that remind him so much of Bucky’s, “but enough sentimentalism, right? I got a work to attend”, she smirks patting Steve’s chest, he chuckles a bit before she moves back to the coffee machine to grab her mug, “you’ll find Cosmo’s leash on the laundry room”, she informs.

“Perfect, thanks”, he smirks.

“Oh no, thank you”, she winks, “I’ll see you boys later”, Winnie says over her shoulder walking away towards the door, her heels clacking against the floor. Steve has to take a few deep breaths and drink a couple of glasses of water before he’s able to move to get the dogs ready for their exercise.

_Quite the talk, right?_

***

Bucky wakes up on an empty bed, but he remembers Steve talking to him a few hours ago, _something about exercise_ , he stands after the fifth time of trying to get up, grabs clean underwear and moves to the bathroom. Right when he finishes rinsing his hair, he’s thinking about masturbating, he needs it _so badly_. The previous night Steve stopped him dry and he almost lost it, but he guessed his boyfriend was right, although he wasn’t going to lie that having sex on his parents house like teenagers, trying not to make noise so they wouldn’t get caught was turning him on even more. He’s looking around the bottles of shampoo, conditioners and shower gels he has there to see what can work best when there’s a sudden hard knock on the door.

_Give me a break!_

“What’s up?” He yells from inside the shower.

“Don’t use all the hot water, I need to shower before I go to school!” Becky says banging the door.

“Oh, c’mon, I just got in!” he huffs.

“Bullshit, hurry up!” she shouts.

And there goes his chance to touch himself thinking about that gorgeous boyfriend of his, Steve’s mouth nipping and his teeth biting, those strong hands squeezing his ass and pulling his hair, their legs tangled and bodies pressed against each other’s. Bucky shakes his head to clear his mind and puts the water spray on a colder setting before he’s finally done cleaning.

There’s a lot of things he wants do to with Steve this weekend but he’s aware that they don’t have enough time, he doesn’t know exactly what Steve would like to do and he’ll ask him as soon as he comes back. They’ll probably go to the American Art Museum, the National History or the American History since his boyfriend is into those things, Bucky likes the Air and Space Museum and the Zoo on Woodley Park, _the Zoo sounds like a good idea_ , maybe they can just walk around the river and wonder around the monuments, he really doesn’t care what they do, the only thing that matters is that Steve is here with him.

Bucky walks back to his room after he dries himself and puts on his boxers, and just when he’s picking a shirt to wear, Steve enters the room looking like the _fucking_ sun. Bucky opens his eyes wide to take in everything he can, Steve just staring back at him with his hand still on the door handle. Bucky looks up and down admiring every inch of his boyfriend’s body just because he can, Steve is wearing the tightest gray shirt damp with sweat and the tattoos on his arms out on display, navy blue pants, just the right amount of tightness to make his ass look great, _although his ass always looks great_ , his blond hair is sticking to his forehead and his cheeks pink, the smile on his face so bright that Bucky wonders if he could go blind; Steve’s handsome, by far the most handsome man that Bucky’s ever laid eyes on.

“Umm…hello”, Steve is the first one to talk, scratching the back of his neck as the blush on his cheeks deepens.

“Tell me you didn’t go out running like that, it’s freezing outside, you can catch a cold or something”, Bucky settles to say, he figures that saying the first thing that comes to mind was probably a bit obscene, _just a bit_.

“No mom, I wore a hoodie”, Steve chuckles lifting the piece of clothing on his hand, “you don’t seem cold, I hope you’re not planning on going out like that, your nipples are gonna get harder, if you know what I mean”, he wiggles his eyebrows teasingly.

Bucky looks down at himself and realizes he hasn’t put on his clothes yet, “I was about to change, smartass”, he chuckles taking a few steps forward to go and meet his boyfriend by the door, Steve stands there staring back at him while trying to close the door behind him without looking away. Bucky places his hands on Steve’s hips as soon as he’s in reach and leans forward so his face is close to the blond’s, “hi, boyfriend”, Bucky smirks against his lips, he breathes through his mouth to make Steve feel his breath.

Steve traces his hands along Bucky’s back, the slightest pressure with his fingertips that makes Bucky weak on the knees, his hands stop on the back of his neck and pulls his head towards his, clashing their lips together. Steve’s lips are soft as always, their mouths barely open and just the tip of their tongues touching, Bucky can feel that Steve is holding back, just like he is to avoid getting too deep into the kiss, they peck their lips a few times, small little kisses before Steve leans backwards, “I have to shower, what’s today’s plan?” Steve asks.

“I’m not sure yet, do you want to visit somewhere specific?” he wonders.

“Not really, wherever you want to go it’s fine”, Steve shrugs.

“Okay, I’ll think of something”, he nods before he moves back to his duffle bag to grab his clothes, he’s going through the mess of his bag looking for a pair of socks when he finds a couple of condoms he packed, then he remembers her aunt’s gift, “right, the box!” he cheers.

“What?” Steve frowns his eyebrows from where he’s retrieving his clothes from his own bag.

“Ida’s gift”, Bucky puts on his shoulder brace quickly, then his jeans and a t-shirt before he walks to the closet to reach for the box. He places it on top of the bed as calm as he manages and unties the bow, trying not to look too eager in the process. He completes such important task and removes the cardboard lid, he looks down to see what’s in the box and he wasn’t prepared at all for what’s in it, he feels like he’s going to have a heart attack, he isn’t sure on which direction his blood is running, if up to his head or down to his dick, _but it feels like both_.

“We won the lottery”, Bucky whispers.

“What was that?” Steve wonders, Bucky feels his boyfriend walking towards him and stops behind him to take a peek over Bucky’s shoulder, “holy shit, that is a lot of stuff”, he says when he looks down to the box, “hey, I’ve always wanted one of these”, Steve says holding what draw his attention.

_Cock rings, seriously?_

“Oh no, you don’t need it, believe me”, he shakes his head with his eyes open wide.

“It’s suppose to make you last longer”, Steve comments excitedly.

“Exactly”, Bucky says.

“Anyway, see you in a bit”, Steve kisses Bucky’s temple before he walks away out of the room.

The first thing that catches his attention are a pair of leather handcuffs, he’s had his hands tied once before but it wasn’t such a pleasant experience since the guy that did it was a complete asshole, not caring if he hurt his arm or what Bucky wanted at all, and his name was Brock Rumlow, _of course_. He never did it again even though he wanted to try it and Brock was always complaining about Bucky being a _whinny annoying little bitch_ about the whole thing, he didn’t trust him to do it properly, but thinking about letting himself go with Steve, his boyfriend taking care of him is a whole different thing, his dick twitches in excitement inside his jeans just to think about it, but knowing Steve they’re going to have a long chat before anything like that happens.

Bucky has to stop himself before he starts browsing the things in the box, he puts back the handcuffs and covers the box with the lid before he moves it back to the closet. He looks at himself in the mirror and runs his hands through his still wet hair; he slides on some socks but doesn’t bother with shoes and walks outside and towards the stairs.

“Good morning”, he says to his aunt who’s going inside the guest room.

“Someone is happy today”, Ida smirks, “did you use anything from the box?” she wiggles her eyebrows.

“No, I just opened it actually”, he chuckles, “you didn’t spend your money on it, right?” Bucky wonders.

“Of course not, you know companies send me things for my classes and to do reviews about them, when I see something that looks interesting for gay men I keep them for you”, she nods.

“You’ve mentioned that before, thanks, it’s just there’s a lot of things in there”, Bucky says.

“And that’s not all, I have a lot of stuff in the office, I kinda know what you’re in to but I don’t know about your boyfriend, I might have an idea now”, his aunt winks.

“Don’t be so sure about that”, Bucky laughs.

“He’s one of those guys that blushes with a compliment because he’s genuinely nice but he’s crazy good when it comes to sex, right?” she comments.

_What?_

“How did you know that?” he asks in surprise.

“I have a job that I actually like, it’s easy for me to know those type of things”, Ida answers.

“Riiiight”, he narrows his eyes at her, “hey, where’s Connie, is she asleep?” he asks changing the subject.

“She’s downstairs having breakfast with your sister”, she informs, “I came here to grab my purse”, Ida points to the room.

“Where are you going?” Bucky wonders.

“It’s Black Friday, we’re going shopping”, she shrugs her shoulders.

“Oh, that’s right, and you’re taking her? It’s gonna be torture”, he chuckles.

“I know, but your sister has school and your parents are working”, she says.

“She can come with us”, Bucky offers.

“No, Bucky, your boyfriend’s here, go out and have a good time with him”, Ida smiles.

“We don’t know what we’re going yet, Connie can joins us, maybe we could go to the zoo, I’ll ask Steve first, but I’m sure he won’t mind”, he explains.

“Okay, ask him and then we’ll see, you’ll have to be careful with her though, I think you have some competition”, his aunt chuckles.

“What are you talking about?” he asks.

“I think she has develop a crush on your boyfriend”, Ida says.

“Who hasn’t?” he shakes his head laughing before he moves to the stairs and down to the first floor.

_Is true, isn’t it? Who doesn’t like Steve Rogers?_

Bucky sighs deeply while he walks towards the kitchen where there’s a small ruckus going on, laughs and cheers that make his heart joyful and his smile almost splits his face in two.

“Buckyyyyyyy!” The little girl cheers from her seat when he enters the kitchen.

“Hey, beautiful”, he smirks.

“Aww, thank you, you’re so sweet”, his sister teases.

“Eeww, not you”, Bucky scrunches his nose at her.

“Buckeeeet, don’t be mean, all girls are beautiful”, Connie nods her head.

“You’re right, I apologize”, Bucky says, “you’re so smart”, he leans forward and kisses the top of her head.

“Not so smart, she doesn’t want to eat the vegetables on her sandwich”, Becky informs.

“Princess, why?” he asks taking the seat next to her.

“They taste funny”, she giggles.

“You remember Steve, right?” Bucky questions.

“Yes”, she smiles with her eyes wide.

“What about me?” Steve comes into the kitchen, Bucky turns his head to see him over his shoulder, the blond looks great as always with that private little smile that keeps only Bucky, the brunet winks at him with a smile of his own.

“See my boyfriend over there?” Bucky says after he turns around to face the girl, “he’s all big and handsome, don’t you think?” he asks the girl and she nods, “well, that’s because he eats fruits and vegetables all the time”, he comments, “right, Stevie?” he turns his head again to smirk at his boyfriend.

“Of course, vegetables and fruits help you grow healthy and strong”, the blond says walking towards them, “they have benefits to make your skin shiny, and your nails strong so you can paint them with cute colors, and they also help your hair grow like Rapunzel’s”, he smiles.

_Oh god, I love you!_

“I wanna grow my hair like Rapunzel!” Connie cheers and the couple laughs.

“I can’t believe it, you’re both saps”, Becky laughs before she gives her sandwich a big bite.

“What’s a sap?” Connie asks and Steve chuckles.

“It means silly, don’t listen to her”, Bucky sticks out his tongue at his sister and the little girl giggles.

Bucky stands up and walks towards the counter, “what do you say about turkey sandwiches?” he asks Steve.

***

“I say that’s a great idea, I’ll help you”, he says walking behind Bucky.

Everything they need for the sandwiches is already on top of the counter since that’s what everybody had for breakfast, each of them making their own food, Bucky humming as he normally does and Steve just sharing side smiles with him.

“So, I want to ask you something, and you can say no, it’s okay”, Bucky says looking over his shoulder back to the table, “I was thinking we could go to the Zoo in Woodley Park, is a bit upstate but we can drive”, he shrugs his shoulder.

“And why would I say no to that?” Steve frowns his eyebrows.

“Not that, sweetheart”, Bucky smiles, “the thing is that my aunt Ida wants to go shopping since it’s Black Friday but she was gonna take Connie with her, for a kid it’s not going to be that awesome, so I was thinking she could come with us instead”, he explains.

“Black Friday? Is that still a thing?” Steve says.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” Bucky chuckles.

“I did but I don’t understand where’s the question”, he laughs.

“Connie”, he whispers, “is it a problem if she joins us?” his boyfriend asks.

“I don’t see how that’s a problem”, Steve shakes his head.

“Is that a yes?” Bucky gives him a cheeky smile showing all his teeth.

“Of course”, Steve nods, “you don’t even have to ask, baby”, he smile back.

“You’re too nice”, Bucky says before he kisses Steve’s cheek.

“Hey losers, I’m out”, Becky comes to stand next to them, “by the way, my friends are getting together tomorrow night, you guys should join us if you don’t have any plans”, she says.

“We’ll see”, Bucky shrugs.

“Later”, she gives them a peace sign before she walks away.

“Hey, where are your fruits and vegetables, you don’t want to grow your hair like Rapunzel’s?” Steve asks teasingly pointing at Bucky’s sandwich.

“It has tomato, besides, you’re eating them for me”, Bucky chuckles pointing at Steve’s sandwich, “how do you plan to get that into your mouth?” Bucky wonders.

“There’s a lot of things that fit in this mouth, you’ll be surprise”, Steve smiles innocently.

“Forget what I said, you’re not nice, stop teasing me”, Bucky whispers.

“Oh c’mon, you like it”, Steve laughs.

“Steeeeeb”, a high-pitched voice says behind them. He turns around to see that Connie is looking over her shoulder from where she’s sitting; Steve leans to the side and kisses Bucky’s cheek before he starts walking towards the girl with his sandwich in hand.

“What is it, little lady?” he asks the kid taking a seat next to her left.

“Look, I finished all my food”, Connie says excitedly trying to lift her empty plate.

“I see, that’s great”, he smiles wide.

“Hey, do you like animals, Connie?” Bucky asks as he hands a glass of juice to Steve before he sits down to the girl’s right.

“Yes, I do”, she nods, “I like kitties, and doggies, and pandas, and monkeys”, Connie says moving all over her chair.

“Hey, take it easy, sit down”, Bucky points his index finger at the girl and she takes her place right away, “how much do you like them?” he asks.

“This much”, she opens her arms wide to the sides.

“How much?” he questions again teasingly before he takes a bite of his sandwich.

“This muuuuuuuuuch!” she cheers with her little arms stretched over her head.

“Wow, that’s a lot”, Steve chuckles after he swallows his mouthful of food.

“Steve and I are going out today, do you want to come with us?” Bucky asks.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Connie wonders with her eyes open wide looking between the two of them.

“Sure”, Steve nods.

“Yaayyyyyyy!” she stands up from her chair starts jumping, her wavy hair bouncing up and down happily.

“What’s happening here?” Ida comes into the kitchen.

“Steve and Bucky want me to go out with them today, me, me, me!” the girl points at her chest with her little index finger like she can’t believe what’s happening, “can I go mommy, pleeeeeease?” Connie runs towards her mother.

“And where are you going?” Ida asks the girl.

“I don’t know”, she frowns, “where are we going?” Connie asks them.

“It’s a surprise”, Bucky nods standing up, he takes his empty plate and Steve’s with him back to the sink when they’re done with their food, Steve smiles sweetly looking up at him.

“Then we have to go upstairs and change you into something more warm, maybe some other shoes?” Ida asks the girl.

“Another sweater okay, but I like my boots, can I keep them?” the girl asks hopeful.

“Okay, go sit with Steve for a second while I talk with Bucky”, Ida says pointing at his boyfriend where he’s washing the dishes on the sink.

“Steve, do you like my boots?” Connie asks as soon as she’s closer.

“Of course, purple it’s a pretty color”, Steve smiles. The girl is wearing a light pink Minnie Mouse long sleeve shirt, gray fleece pants on her legs and the same rain boots as the previous day, “and you’re pants have polka dots, they look cute”, he says reaching for the girl to sit her on his leg.

“I picked them myself”, she informs proudly.

“Whoa! You’re such a grown up, picking your own clothes”, he comments.

“C’mon, Connie, let’s put on something else”, Ida says.

“I’m going, mom”, the girl says getting down from Steve’s leg, she starts walking towards her mother but stops in the middle, “wait for me right here, okay?” the girl demands.

“Okay”, he nods smiling, “hey”, Steve says when he feels his boyfriend’s hand on his shoulder. Bucky comes around so he’s facing him and sits down on Steve’s leg, right where Connie was sitting a few second ago, Bucky is looking at Steve’s damp hair and runs his fingers through it, “you’re not exactly a six year old”, Steve chuckles, but he puts his right arm around Bucky’s waist to bring him closer.

The brunet places his hands on each side of Steve’s neck and stares at the blond’s eyes, then his gaze moves from Steve’s eyes to his mouth, he looks so concentrated on what he’s thinking but Steve doesn’t dare to ask anything about it, he just stares back at him breathing calmly through his nose, their faces are so close that he can feel the ghost of Bucky’s breath against his mouth. His boyfriend moves his right hand a bit and begins to trace Steve’s lips with his thumb, “Steve, I…” Bucky sighs and takes a deep breath, “I’m so glad you’re here”, he smirks but he still looks a little sad; the blond sees how his boyfriend’s Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows the big lump on his throat.

Steve knows, he feels it deep in his gut that’s not what Bucky wanted to say in the first place, but whatever it was, Bucky wasn’t comfortable enough to put it in to words, it seemed like something important but Steve has no idea what could it be.

_There’s no way in hell he was trying to say…_

_Not that…_

_Right?_

He kisses Bucky’s thumb that’s still over his mouth and smiles against it, the brunet leans forward and places his lips against Steve’s, he opens his mouth right away to let Steve inside, Bucky places his left arm around Steve’s neck tightly to keep him in place, like if for some reason Steve will disappear any second, like he had decided to walk away and leave him there, like this is the last time they’re going to see each other; Steve just tightens his grip around his boyfriend’s waist to bring him impossibly closer as they kissed desperately.

Steve doesn’t exactly believe in love at first sight, him more than anyone knows that you can’t judge a book by its cover, but he’s sure he felt attracted towards Bucky since the moment he saw him playing at HYDRA, and how come it had to be that day in that exact moment, it might be just a coincidence, as the coincidence that Bucky turned out to be his long lost childhood friend, or call it destiny, it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t care. Everything has happened so fast that he’s overwhelmed about his strong feelings towards Bucky; because he has no doubt that he’s stupidly, crazily and deeply in love with this man in front of him.

_All in good time._

His mother always said.

***

“Are you ready?” Bucky says from the passenger seat on the front.

“Where are we going?” Connie asks from the back seat.

“I told you, it’s a surprise”, he nods.

“Do we have everything?” Steve questions before he hops inside the car.

Bucky looks behind over his shoulder to see if everything is in place, Ida put together a small backpack for Connie with the basic necessities and extra clothes in case she needs some, after Bucky instructed Steve where everything was in the kitchen, his boyfriend packed a few snacks and water bottles for their trip, they thought about making something for lunch but they agreed on buying something there instead, Bucky installed the booster seat for Connie and went back inside to grab their jackets and locked the house behind him.

“Yeah, I was thinking about going back for the stroller but if she gets tired we can just rent one there instead”, Bucky comments.

“Okay, seat-belts everyone?” Steve asks buckling his own.

“Yes, Steve!” Connie cheers. 

“Yes, Steeeeeeeeve”, Bucky singsongs mockingly, and leans to the side to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek with an exaggerated ‘muah’ sound just for Connie’s amusement.

“Eeeeeewwww!” Connie giggles.

“Wait until we get there, I’ll give you lots of wet kisses”, Bucky threatens.

“Where to?” the blond wonders.

“I’ll tell you, we don’t want the GPS spoiling our surprise, right?” Bucky smiles.

Steve turns on the radio and tunes in a child-appropriate station before he puts the car on drive and follows Bucky’s instructions while Connie hums on the back seat to whatever song is coming from the speakers, Bucky doesn’t know the exact words but he recognizes it from the movie Brave, Steve is actually into the song since he seems quite happy with the melody and it makes Bucky feel even more joyful, he’s been smiling so much that his cheeks are starting to hurt and probably he has grown new expression marks on his eyes.

He almost spill it back in the kitchen, he had it on the tip of his tongue, he was half an inch away from confessing his love to Steve, but luckily he gave it a second thought and didn’t said anything, they’ve been official for less then a day and already talking love? _Not such a good idea_ , he doesn’t want to scare Steve away. His boyfriend’s been perfect with Bucky’s family, everything is going better than he imagined and Steve hasn’t showed any discontent, _on the contrary_ , it seems like he’s really enjoying himself and Bucky couldn’t have chosen someone more appropriate to introduce to his parents.

By the time they pull into the parking lot, his insides start to bubble in excitement, he hasn’t been here in ages and the first memory he has from this place is a good one, it was back when he was twelve and Rebecca was seven, his father was on lease from the army, so the four of them attended, everything was perfect and now, he gets to be here with two of his favorite people in the world.

“Is this a park?” Connie asks excitedly when she starts to notice the trees around them.

“Yes, it is, but not a normal park, you’ll see”, he nods.

They find an empty space near the main entrance since it’s barely past noon and most people are probably working or sleeping late after the Black Friday madness and not to mention that is really cold outside even though it’s a sunny day.

“We have arrived”, Steve sighs turning off the engine.

Bucky gets out of the car and opens the back door to reach for his coat and undoes Connie’s seatbelt, “lets put this on”, he says to the girl as he grabs the purple beanie from her backpack.

“But it’s going to mess my hair”, Connie places her hands over her head.

“No, it’s not, besides, we don’t want to get sick, right?” he wonders, “look, I’m wearing one too”, Bucky shows her his black beanie.

“Okaaaay”, Connie gives in with a whine.

Steve comes around the car with the backpack already on his shoulder, Bucky helps the girl get out of the car and she puts on her little Frozen backpack right away when he hands it to her, “are you excited?” Steve smiles down at Connie.

“Yes, hurry up, Bucky!” the girl demands while he finishes doing the buttons on his coat.

“Jeez, wait a second”, he chuckles, “c’mon”, Bucky offers his left hand to her before they cross the street and head towards the main entrance, they could just go through the path in front of them that leads to the zebras but it’s better if Connie can see everything from the start. The place looks just like Bucky remembers it, lots of cheerful trees and kids on school field trips running around everywhere, “hey, your mom told me you’re getting good with letters, can you tell me what does it say there?” Bucky asks pointing to the big stone letters at the entrance.

Connie begins to mouth the letters to try to form the sounds to read the word, “zoo”, she whispers, “it says zoo”, she says more clearly, “is this the zoo?” she asks with her eyes open wide in surprise.

“Yes, it is”, he nods.

“I can’t believe it!” she smiles wide, “Steve, do you like the zoo?” she questions.

“Well, I like the one back where we live, I’ve never been to this one but I’m sure I’m going to like it”, his boyfriend says.

“Okay, Connie, you have to be by my side or Steve’s the whole time”, he kneels in front of the girl to fix her jacket, “you can’t wonder off alone, and what do you do if you get lost?” Bucky asks.

“I stop and look around for you, no talking to strangers and wait till’ you come find me”, she recites.

“Yeah, I will always come and get you, but there’s a lot of police officers here, you can ask them for help if you need to, okay?” Bucky says, “in this card is our information in case you need it”, he informs putting the piece of paper inside the zippered pocket of her jacket, “you know your mom’s phone and mine, right?” he asks pulling down her beanie in place.

“Yes, by memory”, she nods once before she places her little index finger over her temple.

“Perfect, now kiss”, he demands and Connie leans forward to give him a peck on the cheek. Bucky stands back up and turns around to see that Steve is staring at him smirking, “what?” Bucky asks.

“Nothing”, the blond shakes his head, “hey, hand me your phone and get over there”, he says pointing back towards the letters. Bucky gives him a puzzled look but does as told and holds Connie’s hand to take her with him, “okay, look over here, say cheeeeeeeese”, he instructs. Bucky laughs a bit but opens his arms wide and smiles while Connie starts giggling next to him and offers a peace sign, “there, perfect”, Steve chuckles.

Bucky and Connie walks back to Steve and the blond hands him his phone when he’s in reach, “what was that about?” Bucky wonders.

“In case if she gets lost, you know, for ID”, he says.

“Hmmm”, he hums, “that’s actually really smart, you’re really smart”, Bucky smiles, his boyfriend just shrugs his shoulders, “Okay, now everybody in the picture!” Bucky cheers.

***

“Hey Connie, can you read that?” Bucky whispers into the girl’s ear pointing at the index card for the animal.

“This is a Panda, stay quiet”, the girl demands shushing him with her little finger over his mouth.

Bucky’s been teasing Connie since they started walking through the halls, asking her to read the scientific names of some of the animals, she whined in frustration, “don’t be sad, he can’t read them either”, Steve patted Connie’s shoulder.

The day’s really cold but luckily they packed enough outwear for the day, _it’s colder in Brooklyn_ , Connie hasn’t complained about it since she’s been running and practically dragging them from one place to the other, apart from the weather, the day’s been great. They got there and Bucky instructed the girl where the Visitors Center is while Steve went to get a couple of maps; the first exhibit they saw was the Asian Trail where they have sloths, fishing cats, red pandas, otters, giant salamanders, and of course, Pandas. Connie was really excited because apparently she has never been to a zoo before, she awe and giggled the whole time while Steve told her a few fun facts here and there.

After the Pandas, which so far are Connie’s favorite, they walk to the Bird House which has a lot of different types of birds, indoors like the peacock and wood ducks, and outdoors, a flamingo pool. Bucky laughs out loud when Steve and Connie try to stand on one foot like the pink birds do, on the other side of that street they can see the big elephants on their trek. Then, Bucky says it’s time to move, they go back to the main street and into the Conservation Station where you can see the cheetahs, zebras, hornbills and vultures. The little girl didn’t like the vultures so much because they look scary and she remembered them being mean to Snow White, Bucky agrees with her that they do look evil.

It’s time for a snack break and they sit near the American Bison Exhibit with their bottles of water and a soft pretzel, Connie shoves hers impressively quick to try to hurry them before they start walking again towards the Small Mammal House, they’re halfway there when Bucky stops on his tracks.

“Hey, there’s a family restroom there, let’s go”, Bucky says.

“But I don’t want to”, Connie whines.

“You’re saying that now but you just drank a bottle of water and you’re going to want to go in a couple of minutes, I know you”, Bucky points his index finger at the girl.

“Oooookay”, the girl sighs.

Steve chuckles as he walks behind them; he stops outside and sits down on a bench by the restrooms. He takes a few deep breaths looking up at the sky, the day’s been cold but the sun’s shinning above them and it feels great, he looks back to his life a month ago, even a week ago and he can’t believe how much has happened. Since the first moment that Bucky walked into Steve’s life all those years ago, he changed it for the better; young Steve had faith that there was good people out there, that not everybody are bullies and mean, he had to believe that, and out of nowhere Bucky showed up and he was right; and then, 20 years later, he keeps changing it, but he hopes with all his heart that this time Bucky won’t go anywhere.

“Steve, c’mooooon!’ a high pitch voice calls for him from behind, “we’re going to see vampires!” she yells.

“To see what?” he frowns his eyebrows.

“Vampires!” Connie nods.

“Not vampires, sugar, bats, I said bats”, Bucky chuckles.

“But there almost the same, they feed on blood too”, she says.

Steve tilts his head to the side and gives Bucky a questioning look, “she didn’t heard that from me”, his boyfriend laughs.

“Well, there’s actually a species called vampire bats, it makes sense”, Steve shrugs casually after he stands up.

“Nerd”, Bucky whispers.

“Bucky, how come you’re not smart like Steve?” Connie giggles.

“Heeeey!” the brunet whines, “I’ll make you pay for that, I’m gonna tickle you until you have to pee again”, he warns.

“No, no, please, no!” she says before she starts running away.

Bucky turns around and kisses Steve’s cheek before he goes to catch up with Connie, Steve smiles placing his hand over the spot that his boyfriend kissed, his phone starts ringing inside the pocket of his jeans as he begins walking after Bucky and Connie, he smiles at the screen when he sees the picture of his friend on the caller ID.

“Hey, Sam”, Steve answers.

“Don’t ‘hey Sam’ me”, he huffs.

“What did I do now?” he wonders.

“You sent me a text saying Happy Thanksgiving and that was nice”, he reminds, “but it didn’t occur to you to tell me that you have a boyfriend now?” Sam questions, “you even told Clint!” he yells.

“Clint asked, you didn’t”, Steve chuckles.

“Oh, that is just bullshit”, Sam laughs, “but it’s a good thing you man up and you didn’t let me down, I told Bucky you were gonna ask him soon enough”, he says.

“You did?” Steve wonders.

“Yeah, or did he asked you?” his friend asks.

“No, I did, but is really that important?” he clears.

“Not really, he likes you Steve, he really does”, the man adds, “I’m happy for you”, Sam comments.

“Thank you, Sam”, he sighs.

Steve enters the Small Mammals area and goes to stand a few meters behind Bucky and Connie when he spots them, his boyfriend is holding her up to help her see better the meerkats. Bucky turns his head around and waves over his shoulder, he waves back with his free hand.

“Steve, come see Timon!” Connie smiles.

“I’ll be right there”, Steve nods.

“You got yourself a boyfriend and made a Facebook page, what else happened in a day, you had a child?” Sam chuckles.

“No, that’s Connie, she’s Bucky’s little cousin, we’re at the zoo”, Steve explains.

“Damn, you’re full-on domestic now”, Sam chuckles.

“Whatever, Sam”, he laughs, “anyway, I’m gonna get going, say hi to everyone for me”, Steve says.

“Sure, greetings to the boyfriend, bye Steve”, Sam returns. 

“Later, Sam”, Steve smiles even though his friend can’t see him. He hangs up and puts his phone back inside his pocket as he walks towards Bucky, who receives him with a huge smile, “it was Sam, he said hi”, he nods, “hey, did you know that the first thing that meerkats do when they wake up in the morning is take a sun bath?” Steve turns his head to look at Connie.

“How come you know so much stuff?” Bucky chuckles.

***

As everything that goes up it has to go down eventually, but for their luck it doesn’t go too deep down. Connie’s never been an annoying kid, she’s a bit bratty when she wants to be, she never causes trouble and her mother has taught her good manners, which Bucky is hugely thankful for.

When they arrive at the Great Apes area there are a lot of kids running from one exhibit to the other, teachers yelling and annoyed tour guiders with angry expression on their faces. The three of them try to walk around a sea of children that are gathered by the orangutans to try to take a better look.

Steve and Bucky stand a couple of feet behind the rail and Connie walks forward to take a closer look when the ruckus happens, a kid starts crying out loud and other bigger kid, probably the brother, is trying to calm him down. Steve and him turn to see for just a second and when they return their view towards Connie, she isn’t there anymore; everything happens so fast that Bucky feels like he’s going to pass out.

“Where is she?” He whispers.

He starts looking around for her but he can’t see her anywhere, all the noises around him are muffled, Steve is saying something to him but it’s like Bucky’s tongue isn’t working properly and doesn’t answer, he just turns and looks for her, staring at the kids in front of them to try to spot her.

_What was his aunt going to say? What if someone took Connie? What is she tried to climb inside the fence? What if this was the last time they saw her?_

“Buck”, someone whispers.

“Bucky”, a bit louder.

He was going to start running or go ask if someone saw her, he feels like he can’t breathe, “Bucky”, the person places a hand on his right shoulder and squeezes, he turns around to see that it’s Steve who’s calling his name, but he doesn’t look scared or surprised, his boyfriend’s face is calm and open.

_He doesn’t care or what?_

“Steve, I don’t…” she shakes his head.

“Baby, she’s right there”, Steve says pointing with his thumb over his shoulder.

Connie is sitting alone on a bench a few meters away from them with her head hunched staring down at the floor but Bucky notices that she’s crying, the brunet takes a deep breath before he starts walking towards her. As soon as he’s closer to her he can see the big tears falling down her cheeks, he kneels down in front of her, “what happened?” he asks.

“Nothing”, she answers plainly, her bottom lip quivering a bit.

“Then why did you run? I told you not to leave our side”, he whispers placing a hand over her knee, “why are you crying?” Bucky asks.

“Because I’m a baby”, Connie cries some more.

“I thought you said you weren’t a baby anymore”, he reminds.

“I’m a baby because I’m little and I can’t reach to see anything”, she sniffs.

“Where is this coming from?” Bucky wonders.

“A kid was pushing me because he said I was in his way but if I moved I wasn’t going to see the funny monkeys”, the little girl sobs.

“And what did you said?” he asks.

“That I was there first”, she yells before she rubs her eyes with her fists.

“Honey, don’t yell”, he says, “you know you have to share, you could have move a little and make some room for the kid, baby”, Bucky pats Connie’s shoulder.

“Don’t call me baby!” she demands.

“Uuggh, Connie”, he grunts, “why don’t we go and see something else, maybe there’s not too many people by the gorillas”, he smiles.

“No! I want to see the orangegutans!” she whines.

“Don’t you mean the orangutans?” he laughs.

“You’re being mean, you’re dumb!” she starts crying again.

“C’mon!” he sighs after he stands up.

Bucky feels a hand over his shoulder and turns to his right to see Steve standing behind him, he offers a small smile, “can I try?” Steve whispers pointing with his head towards Connie who keeps sobbing. Bucky nods and grabs the backpack when Steve takes it off to sit next to the little girl, “I have some paper in there”, Steve points at the bag, his boyfriend takes a seat on the girl’s left and Bucky on her right. 

“When I was younger, I was really little, even smaller than you”, Steve starts as the girl continues sniffing, “kids were always pushing me around and making fun of me”, he says looking down at his hands.

“And what did you do?” Connie asks between breaths.

“I stood back up but I never made fun of anyone, it’s not okay to be bad to someone just because they’re bad to you, it’s not okay to be bad to anyone, but it’s okay to stand up for yourself if it’s necessary”, he nods.

“I don’t like mean kids”, she shakes her head.

“Nobody does, don’t be one, you’re better than that”, Steve says, “did you know that the first kid that wasn’t mean to me was Bucky?” he questions

“Really?” Connie opens her eyes wide after she hiccups, no more tears are falling down and Bucky sighs in release.

“Yeah”, he nods, “a much older kid was laughing at me because he said my nose was too big and he punched me so hard I fell, Bucky helped me stand up and told the kid to back off, do you remember that?” Steve asks looking at him over Connie’s head.

“How couldn’t I?” Bucky chuckles.

“Also, when a love one calls you baby doesn’t mean they’re making fun of you, on the contrary, I call Bucky baby sometimes, he doesn’t look like a baby, right?” He questions.

“No, he’s old, like twenty”, she sniffs again.

“That’s right”, he smirks, “well, we care about babies, they make you smile, you want to hug them and they’re cute”, the blond shrugs, “you’re cute”, Steve smiles looking down at the girl.

“I’m sorry I called you mean, I don’t think you’re dumb either”, Connie says to Bucky.

Bucky pulls her towards him and carries her to sit her on his lap, he takes off her beanie and brushes her hair away from her face, a few strands damped with tears, “it’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it”, he assures.

“I love you, Bucky”, the girl whispers.

“I love you too”, he nods before he places a kiss on the top of her head, the girl stands up on the bench and places her little arms around Bucky’s neck, and he puts his arm around her small body and returns the hug. He looks over Connie’s shoulder and up to Steve who’s staring at them, “thank you”, Bucky mouths, his boyfriend smiles wide nodding.

“Can we keep seeing the animals?” Connie asks.

“Of course, but first, blow”, he says raising a piece of paper to clean her nose.

“Hey, what do you say if I carry you in my shoulders so you can be taller than anyone?” Steve asks the girl.

“Can you do that?” she wonders with a smile on her face, “Bucky can’t do that because he has an auchie here”, Connie frowns her lips and points with her index finger at her shoulder.

“I know, but I’m sure he would do it if he could”, his boyfriend says standing up.

“Can I take off my gloves for a little bit?” Connie shakes her hands.

“Yes, put them in your backpack”, Bucky indicates.

The girl takes off her gloves and kneels on the concrete to do as Bucky said, Steve stands back up and smiles at Bucky like he always does, the brunet sighs, “thanks”, he whispers.

“Any time”, Steve leans forward and kisses his forehead. Bucky wants more than a kiss on the forehead, but making out with your boyfriend at the zoo, surrounded by children it’s not exactly a good idea.

_Right?_

“Hey, what do you wanna eat?” Bucky asks them.

“You’re hungry already?” Steve questions.

“I’m always hungry”, he winks at Steve and he receives a cute blush on the cheeks from him, Bucky chuckles a bit, “how about hot dogs?” he wonders.

“YES!” Connie yells, “with lots of ketchup”, she cheers with her fists up in the air.

“I see that fascination for ketchup runs in the family”, Steve chuckles.

“She knows what’s good”, Bucky shrugs.

“Shall we continue?” Steve asks looking down at Connie, he positions himself behind her and hooks his arms under her armpits to bring her up to his shoulders like she weighted nothing, the girl sits down with her little legs around his neck, Steve grabs her legs to keep her in place, “ready?” He asks.

“Look, Bucky, I’m so tall!” she giggles.

“I can see that”, he nods looking up at her.

He puts on the backpack that Steve was carrying previously and looks after them as they go towards the exhibit, Connie bouncing happily on Steve’s shoulders, Bucky is sure he hasn’t felt this happy in his whole life.

They walk around the Great Apes and then into the Reptile Discovery Center, after Connie’s small crisis everything goes smoothly. They eat hotdogs as Bucky suggested and the girl covered her face in ketchup, they move into the Think Tank and Steve is the most excited for this specific area and to see how complex and smart the animals are.

Afterwards, is time for the big cats exhibit and Connie is even more excited than when they saw the pandas, she exclaims happily that the tigers are her favorite animals _in the whole wide world_.

“Did you know that tigers are the biggest species of the cat family? They’re also great swimmers”, Steve says to the girl.

“Wooooow! I like to swim” she sighs.

“And you call me Buckypedia”, the brunet whispers between his teeth and Steve chuckles warmly.

***

“Look! Can we go there?” Connie says pointing at the carousel on the far left.

“Oh, I can’t go up there, I’m still full”, Bucky shakes his head.

“Pleeeeeeeeease”, she smiles wide.

“I can ride with her”, Steve nods.

“Yayyyy!” she says before she starts running in that direction.

And Steve does ride with her like he said, the girl and him get into the carousel and she chooses a colorful cheetah and he stands by her side to prevent the girl from falling, both of them waving every time they see Bucky as the ride spins, the brunet waves back with a wide smile that makes the corner of his eyes wrinkle, that smile that Steve loves so much.

“Did you see us?!” Connie yells running towards the brunet almost tripping with her own feet when they get out of the carousel.

“Yes, I did”, he nods before he kneels in front of her, “what do you say if we put this on again?” he asks when he reaches for her beanie on the little backpack.

“But I don’t want to”, she whines.

“It’s getting colder, c’mon”, he says putting the beanie on her head before he stands back up and reaches for her hand, “let’s go see the lemurs”, Bucky nods down looking at the girl.

“What’s a lemur?” she wonders.

“Like those funny animals with big eyes in the movie Madagascar, the ones that dance and sing”, Steve comments.

“I like those”, she smiles wide reaching for Steve’s right hand.

“Oh, what a lovely family you are”, someone says, the three of them look around to notice the elder woman that’s talking to them, with a gentleman by her side, the lady is short and her back a bit hunched, the man is about Bucky’s height, both with graying hair and an impressive sense of style, with colorful yet classic clothes.

Steve doesn’t dare to say anything, he claps his lips tightly together and looks at Bucky on the corner of his eye, he notices that Bucky is blushing a bit and he opens his mouth only to close it again, probably struggling to give the woman a proper answer.

“We uuh…” Bucky mumbles.

“Thank you!” Connie smiles wide, the elder couple smiles back and the lady offers them a small wave, Bucky waves in response before they walk away. The both of them look down at Connie to see that she’s giving them a teasing smile like she knows exactly what just happened, she pulls her arms downwards and her smile grows even wider, “kiss”, she says.

“You want a kiss?” Bucky questions.

“No, dummy, you kiss”, she nods. Bucky looks up to meet Steve’s eyes and offers an apologetic smile, Steve leans forward and kisses the corner of Bucky’s mouth softly, “okay, lets go”, she says pulling them forward, sounding pleased with her act.

They walk towards the Lemur Island and then all the way to the Kid’s Farm, the little girl is really happy, saying that she couldn’t believe they let you feed the animals, Steve sits down on a bench and pulls out the sketchbook he put on the backpack and draws his boyfriend and the girl when they’re offering some food to an Alpaca while Connie giggles euphorically.

It’s finally getting dark, just a bit past five o’clock when they get out of the area, they walk to the Amazonia Exhibit, everything is peaceful and quiet in there with all the dim lights and the different species of fish swimming in their tanks and the frogs jumping on rocks. Steve can notice that Connie is starting to get a bit tired since she isn’t jumping all over the place anymore but she does awe in surprise when they see the seals clapping. Steve carries her on his arms as they walk to the last area they haven’t seen: The American Trail; bald eagles, ravens, gray wolves and many more species.

“Connie, lets go to the restroom again”, Bucky says when they come across the same area close to the elephants. Steve puts her down and she walks with the brunet to the family restroom and he moves to the men’s.

They gather outside again a few minutes later, they wait around the area to watch the special event of the LED lights that’s playing around the entire park, it goes along with cheerful music giving them a sense of winter and holidays, Steve loves it, but not anymore than the way that the shadows on Bucky’s face make him look, the metal of his piercings and micro-dermals sparkling. Connie is enjoying it too moving her tiny body from side to side on Steve’s arms, his boyfriend looking around the place taking a few pictures with his phone.

They go to the gift shop on the Panda Plaza and Connie goes straight to the plushies, Bucky tells her she can choose one and she decides to go with the white Bengal tiger. By the time they walk back to the car Connie is already falling asleep on Steve’s shoulder, holding her brand new plush close to her chest. Bucky opens the door for him after he reaches for the keys inside Steve’s pocket; he places her carefully inside and puts the seatbelt on.

“Did you have fun?” Bucky asks when Steve gets inside of the car.

“Of course”, he nods, “you?” Steve questions.

“You’re not…” Bucky sighs looking down at his hands over his lap, fiddling with his lip piercing, “you’re not saying that just ‘cause?” he wonders.

Steve turns his head to the right and peeks over his shoulder to the back seat to see that the little girl has fallen deeply asleep, her head tilted to the back and her mouth slightly open. Steve leans to the side and places his right hand on Bucky’s neck and brings their lips together, his boyfriend’s piercing is cold against his tongue as he gives Bucky’s lip a playful lick, the brunet opens his mouth and shoves his tongue inside, all wet against the roof of Steve’s mouth, Bucky lets out the tiniest moan and Steve chuckles softly brushing his boyfriend’s jaw with his thumb.

“Drive before I rip your clothes off”, Bucky whispers against his mouth.

“Okay”, Steve laughs, “I did had a good time, I’m serious”, he nods.

“I did too”, Bucky smiles.

The drive back to the house is fast while they listen to a local rock radio station that is playing Nirvana unplugged, Bucky humming the lyrics on the back of his throat as he looks outside the window. When they arrive, Steve opens the back door and carries the girl in his arms carefully trying not to wake her up; Bucky closes the car properly and hurries to open the house for him. Cosmo and Captain greet them when they come inside but Bucky holds them back for a second to prevent them from running off or jumping at Steve.

“Oh, my baby”, Ida awes when she notices Connie sleeping on Steve’s arms.

Steve smiles at her and keeps walking to the stairs after Bucky and into the guest bedroom to put her on the bed, Bucky takes off her boots and jacket as she mumbles something, Steve pulls the blankets before his boyfriend instructs her to get on the bed, a couple of minutes later they’re standing by the door looking at her sleeping with her arm wrapped around her new plush.

***

“She wasn’t too much trouble?” his aunt asks as soon as they walk downstairs and into the kitchen.

“No, not at all”, Steve answers.

“It was fun”, he nods, “where’s everybody?” Bucky wonders.

“Your mom should be here any second, your dad went to buy Chinese and I think your sister is working”, she says.

“Okay, how was shopping?” he wonders as he goes to serve themselves a glass of water.

“Chaotic but I did find some good stuff, luckily I didn’t had to fight anyone for them”, Ida chuckles.

“Thank you”, his boyfriend takes the glass that he’s offering, “I think I’ve never shop on a Black Friday”, Steve comments.

“Don’t, it’s not such a big deal”, his aunt shakes her head.

“Hello family!” His mother comes into the kitchen.

“Hi ma’, how was your day?” he says.

“It was okay, guys at the firm can be a bunch of useless morons sometimes but other than that it was fine”, she laughs.

“Good thing they have you, right?” Bucky chuckles.

“What did you guys ended up doing?” She wonders.

“We went to the zoo”, Steve answers with a grin.

“They took Connie with them”, Ida comments.

“Really? How was it?” his mom raises an eyebrow.

“It was great, she was beat by the time we got here, she’s sleeping now”, Bucky informs.

“Aww, I bet she had an awesome time”, she says, “I’m gonna go change into something more comfortable before your father gets here with dinner, I’ll be right back”, his mother adds.

They concentrate to set the table while they talk about their day at the zoo, Connie’s new fascination with tigers, her little tantrum and how they managed to handle it. This isn’t what Bucky had in mind when he imagined coming home with a boyfriend, but he doesn’t mind at all, Steve said he had a great time and Bucky knows he’s telling the truth.

It’s weird, doing grown up things, Bucky is aware that he can be childish sometimes, _even immature_ , but having Steve by his side makes him wonder about the future, which it’s something he doesn’t do quite often, thinking about a family or getting married, _I didn’t even knew I want those things_. The thing is, maybe he just wants them because he pictures himself with Steve, this beautiful human being that is now with him and no one else.

Maybe it’s stupid and really overwhelming, how this whole situation has turned out, they’ve only really known each other for a few months, without counting their childhood, and it feels like a lifetime. Bucky used to regret a lot of things he’s done in his life, or that he didn’t do, but now that he thinks about it, if it wasn’t for everything he’s been through he wouldn’t be here, he could have stayed in Russia, or never joined a band or acquired a good job at Stark Industries, say no to that show at HYDRA, maybe he would have never met Steve.

 _Steve Rogers_.

How was Bucky’s life before Steve Rogers?

He doesn’t remember, he doesn’t care.

“Hey Bucky, how do you think it would look if I get a tattoo on my boobs?” Ida asks and Steve laughs out loud.

“WHAT?!” He asks in outrage.

“Yeah, like flowers or something”, she nods.

“You mean in your chest area or in your actual breasts?” Bucky wonders with frowned eyebrows, Ida and Steve start laughing even louder and Bucky is completely missing the joke.

“Don’t worry Buck, she doesn’t want a tattoo on her breasts, she’s just teasing you because you weren’t paying attention”, Steve pats his shoulder.

“Wow, you guys are hilarious”, he says sarcastically.

“We know”, Ida chuckles.

“Hi everybody!” His father walks inside with the bags of food in hand.

They put the boxes of takeout on the middle of the table and serve themselves something to drink. Bucky’s mom returns by the time they’re settling down on their chairs, everybody chatting about their day and their upcoming plans for the weekend since any of them are working. When Bucky and his sister weren’t kids anymore, their parents started a tradition where they try to take time for themselves at least once a week, and it’s something that’s still going, they enjoy a movie together, maybe some dinner, go out dancing or anything that just involves the two of them, that day is mostly on Saturdays.

“Hey, where’s Becky?” he asks.

“She texted me that she was going out with that boy of hers after work, she’s probably gonna be late”, his mother informs.

“Have you met this guy?” Bucky wonders.

“Yes, he’s an idiot”, his father answers.

“I gotta meet him, is he really that bad?” he asks his mother before he shoves some food on his mouth.

“Not really, I trust your sister”, she answers.

“Well, Becky said something about joining her and her friends tomorrow, maybe he’s gonna be there”, Steve reminds with a shrug on his shoulders.

“Yeah, you’re right, I’ll ask”, Bucky nods.

When they finally finish their dinner, his parents and Ida go to the living room after Steve and Bucky offer to clean the kitchen and make some coffee before they join them to watch a movie. Steve is drying the dishes by the sink when Bucky finishes setting the coffee machine; he walks towards him and hugs him from behind, tightening his arms around his boyfriend waist resting the side of his face between his shoulder blades.

“Thank you”, Bucky sighs with his eyes shut.

“What for?” Steve asks.

“I’ve told you before”, he says, “for existing, for being you”, Bucky kisses the back of Steve’s neck.

Steve chuckles a bit before he turns around to face him and places his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, “well, I don’t know how to be anybody else”, he says.

“Which I’m glad”, Bucky smiles, he was about to lean forward and peck his boyfriend’s lips when the _cockblocker_ coffee maker beeps, informing them that the liquid is completely brewed.

***

After everyone’s cups of coffee are served, they sit down on the couch to watch a movie, The Godfather is George’s choice, they’re sitting on the larger couch against the far away left wall, Bucky’s parents on the couch in the middle of the living room and Ida on the loveseat to the right with her ankles up on the armrest, the couple of dogs down by her side.

By the middle of the movie, and right after Bucky finishes his cup of coffee, he says he’s going upstairs to change into his pajamas because he was getting cold, Steve smiles at him and stays on his place with his cup in hand while he puts his concentration back to the TV.

He isn’t exactly counting the time since Bucky left but the movie lets him know that it’s been a while and his boyfriend hasn’t returned, _about forty minutes or so_ , Bucky’s parents and Ida are concentrated on the movie and don’t say anything but Steve is starting to think that Bucky could have fallen sleep, but he wouldn’t have gone to bed without telling Steve about it, _right?_  

The blond takes out his phone and checks his emails since he didn’t went to work today, he has Thanksgiving messages from a few friends, Facebook notifications, newsletters from a few stores and the regular check-in from Darcy telling him that everything is going good at the shop. By the time he finishes going through his inbox, Bucky decides to show up back into the living room.

“Hi”, the brunet whispers.

“Hello”, he says back.

Steve stretches his left arm over the backrest to place it around Bucky, his boyfriend is wearing black pants and a dark grey long sleeve shirt, and he has a blanket in his hand, he extends the fabric and sits down next to him covering them with the blanket. The whole thing is a bit weird, like something is off, Bucky has a frown on his face, he sits down slowly and he’s really cautious about covering their legs with the blanket, Steve stares at him while he does it but doesn’t say anything. Bucky leans back and cuddles next to Steve, shifting carefully so he’s as close as possible, the brunet rests his head over Steve’s chest and places his left arm across Steve’s abdomen to keep him in place before he lets out a deep sigh.

“You’re hair is wet”, Steve notices.

“I showered”, Bucky whispers.

“I see”, he says looking down at his boyfriend, “you smell nice”, Steve places a kiss on the top of Bucky’s head.

“Thanks”, the brunet answers plainly.

“Buck, is everything okay?” Steve wonders.

“Mmhhm”, Bucky hums.

The brunet looks up under his thick eyelashes and stares into Steve’s eyes, he still has a little frown on his forehead and something is weird about his eyes, his pupils are dilated making his eyes look dark. Bucky bites down his bottom lip sucking his piercing inside his mouth while he nods, Steve swallows loudly the big lump of saliva that’s pooling inside his mouth.

“Are you still cold?” Steve questions.

“A little”, he says.

Steve places his arm around Bucky’s shoulders to keep him close, sure Bucky’s hair is a bit damp but the atmosphere isn’t cold at all, either way, it’s not like Steve minds having his boyfriend next to him. Bucky moves his gaze to the TV and Steve looks at Bucky’s parents and aunt, they haven’t moved or said anything since the beginning of the movie, it’s like they didn’t even noticed he was gone or that they exchanged a few words seconds ago.

Just when Steve is trying to concentrate back to the movie everything starts to complicate, _at least for me_. Bucky begins to motion his fingers in little circles rubbing Steve’s belly, first over his shirt and then under it, his hand is a tad cold but soft against Steve’s abdomen as he circles the blond’s navel. Then, Bucky decides to travel down south, moving his hand slowly up and down Steve’s leg and over his jeans, the brunet’s fingers barely brushing his crotch that’s beginning to feel surprisingly hot.

Bucky squeezes his leg a few times before he moves his hand and places it right over Steve’s dick, he looks down to see that Bucky is staring at him with a devilish smile on his face, “baby…” Steve shakes his head.

His boyfriend gives him a small and innocent kiss on the lips and turns around to see the movie again like nothing is happening under the blanket, maybe this is what it’s all about, why Bucky seemed suspicions about something, Steve is sure he definitely planed this, _cold my ass_.

The thing is, Steve can, _or at least should_ , say something, put his hand over his boyfriend’s and stop him, and maybe they can wait until they’re up in the bed, alone in Bucky’s room. Steve behaved the night before because he felt a bit weird having sex on the same house where Bucky’s parents live, _but this?_ This is even worst; they aren’t just under the same roof but also in the room, Bucky’s family is right in front of them and this is so, so wrong, but it feels so, so good, and Steve just can’t bring himself to say anything.

Bucky is rubbing Steve’s cock with the right amount of pressure, his touch warm and steady as his hand moves up and down his shaft massaging him over the fabric of his jeans, and he just wishes his pants could magically disappear. Steve moves his leg to give Bucky more space, the brunet takes his chance and squeezes all of Steve crotch and he has to purse his lips together to prevent an embarrassing sound to come out.

His boyfriend digs the heel of his hand and moves it over Steve’s dick while the blond concentrates to breathe deeply in and out through his nose instead of his mouth, fisting his right hand on the blanket, he has to move his left arm back to the backrest since he doesn’t want to squeeze Bucky’s shoulder. Lucky for him, the movie is about to finish, Steve needs to get out of there and fast, his pants are felling way too tight and he’s beginning to sweat, not to mention that his neck and face are probably flushed tomato red.

“Do you want to go upstairs?” Bucky whispers into his ear, Steve nods because he doesn’t trust his voice at the moment. Bucky stands back up slowly and Steve is happy that he left the blanket over him so he can cover the bulge inside his jeans.

“Where are you going? We’re about to put on the second movie”, Winnie says.

“I know mom but I think we’re gonna call it quits for today, we’re a bit tired”, he nods.

“Okay honey, good night”, Bucky’s mother says.

“Nite, guys”, George adds.

Steve stands up with the blanket on his hand trying to cover himself without looking too suspicious and waves at them with his free hand before he turns around and starts walking after Bucky.

“Be safe!” he hears Ida yelling behind them.

When they reach the stairs, Steve wants to run up and into Bucky’s room, but for some reason the brunet stops at the bottom and takes a couple of deep breaths before he begins to take step by step slowly, “are you alright?” Steve questions.

“Yeah, just give me a second”, he nods.

His cock aches as he walks to Bucky’s bedroom and all he wants to do is get rid of his jeans, Bucky doesn’t even wait until they’re inside the room to take off his shirt and Steve notices he isn’t wearing the shoulder brace anymore, the brunet tosses the shirt on the floor as soon as he opens the door, and Steve finds himself pressed against the wall after his boyfriend locks the door.

“What was that about?” Steve questions.

“I want you, I want you so bad”, Bucky whispers as he reaches for the hem of Steve’s shirt and pulls upwards to help him take it off.

He turns them around so it’s Bucky against the wall now and places his left leg between Bucky’s and begins to rub his thigh against Bucky’s dick while his own cock is pushed over his boyfriend’s leg, “why do you do this to me? I could have had an asthma attack down there, try explaining that to your parents”, Steve chuckles.

“I’m sorry, boyfriend”, Bucky whispers, “kiss me”, he pleads.

Steve unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down along with his underwear to free his erection; he takes off his tennis shoes without untying them and then his jeans, not loosing eye contact with Bucky in the whole process. He moves forward to his previous position and looks at Bucky straight in the eyes, “when we get back home I promise I’ll let you scream all you want but right now, if we’re gonna do this, you gotta try to stay quiet for me”, Steve says.

“Okay”, Bucky nods quickly.

“Good”, he says. He grabs Bucky’s right hand and holds it against his face, he opens his mouth wide and with the flat of his tongue licks a long wet strip on the inside of his boyfriend’s hand, the best part is to look at Bucky’s face and see how his mouth falls open, “is this what you want?” Steve questions when he moves the brunet’s hand down to his cock.

“You’re so fucking hot”, Bucky sighs deeply closing his hand around Steve’s dick and begins to stroke it.

The blond’s leg is still trapped between Bucky’s, moving up and down as he fucks his boyfriend’s fist and finally brings their lips together, holding Bucky’s head with both of his hands while he shoves his tongue inside the brunet’s mouth. Bucky moans softly into his mouth every time that Steve pulls his lip piercing with his teeth, his hands travel down to play with his boyfriend’s nipples while he keeps nipping and biting his lips, Bucky hisses when Steve’s circles his thumbs around the sensitive area and the blond knits his eyebrows together when Bucky starts to stroke his dick faster.

Just when he thought that Bucky couldn’t be any more amazing, he realizes he was wrong.

He moves his hands to the side of Bucky’s body, to his lower back and under his pants, he brunet isn’t wearing any underwear but that isn’t exactly a surprise, then he reaches Bucky’s ass and squeezes his buttocks, the brunet moans a bit louder when Steve sucks the skin on his collarbone leaving a mark on the spot and Steve chuckles to himself. The surprise comes when his right hand travels down his tailbone, to the crack of Bucky’s ass and to _…wait._

“What is it?” Steve asks as his fingers trace the hard surface that’s right in Bucky’s hole.

Bucky looks at him with wide eyes but doesn’t answer anything, he even looks a bit embarrassed by the situation, he lets out a sigh and his hand goes still on Steve’s dick while he keeps the other over the blond’s hipbone, “I wanted to be ready for you”, he whispers shyly.

_Are you fucking kidding me with this man?_

***

Having a butt plug up your ass for half an hour while you try to sit in front of your parents like nothing is happening as you stroke your boyfriend’s dick under a blanket is not an easy task.

Bucky didn’t exactly planned it, he went upstairs to change, saw the box with his aunt’s gifts and thought about taking a shower and masturbating, but _why masturbate all by myself when my boyfriend is here, right?_ He saw the butt plug and _what the hell_ , he went for it.

His boyfriend kisses him eagerly, invading his mouth with his tongue while he keeps his head in place with a hand on the back of the brunet’s neck, Bucky finds himself doing the same and his hand begins to move, stroking Steve’s cock again. Bucky has never been a big fan of foreplay, or his past partners weren’t, he’s not sure which one it is, but since the first time Steve kissed him it felt like something exploded inside of him, it wasn’t the actual fireworks that were going off around them, it was so intense that it got deep under his skin and he was sure he could have come just by kissing Steve.

 _I could do it all day_.

Steve lowers his hand slowly down Bucky’s chest and back to touch his ass under his pants again while the other hand is steady on the back of his neck, his leg still rubbing Bucky’s dick. He starts kissing his way down his neck as his hand moves to Bucky’s hole; Steve’s fingers are tracing the outer part of the plug that’s buried deep inside his ass and it feel amazing and so overwhelming that Bucky starts panting through his mouth. But when his boyfriend gives the plug a small push Bucky has to move his hands to put them over his mouth quickly or he’s sure he would have screamed, the tip of the plug is hitting the right spot every time he moves a bit, and Steve rubbing his leg against his dick is too much.

“You’re gorgeous”, Steve chuckles before he kisses his cheek, “let me see it”, he demands in a soft voice.

He turns around and rests his palm on the wall, Steve kneels behind him and pulls down his pants, Bucky moves his feet to help him get rid of them completely and he kicks them out of the way, “that’s why I took so long, I’m sorry”, Bucky says looking back over his shoulder.

“It’s okay, lean forward for me”, Steve says, Bucky does as told and places the right side of his face on the wall and his hands on each side of his head, that way his ass is more exposed but he still can look back, his dick is hard between his legs standing up proudly against his belly, “is it too big?” his boyfriend questions.

“A bit, yeah”, he sighs.

Steve moves forward and begins to place soft kisses on Bucky’s ass-cheeks, his mouth slightly open and his breath warm on his skin, every time he gets closer to his hole it makes Bucky’s dick ache with excitement, he moves his hand down his chest and right when he’s about to grab his cock Steve squeezes his right buttock, “I’ll do it, open your ass for me”, the blond whispers.

Bucky supports his upper body with the side of his head and neck against the wall and reaches to his ass with both of his hands to open his cheeks for Steve, his boyfriend starts with little pecks around his opening until he begins to lick him around the base of the plug, at the beginning, just flicks around the area but when he decides to reach for Bucky’s dick and stroke it with his hand while he does full circles with his tongue around his hole, Bucky has to shut his eyes tight and press his lips together because he could’ve scream right there, again, he’s losing himself, _and fast_.

It’s so unfair how good his boyfriend is with his mouth, _no_ , it’s unfair how perfect his boyfriend is in general and Bucky just can’t get enough of him. Steve always concentrates on pleasing Bucky like his life depends on it and the only thing he wants it’s to do the same. Steve continues licking everything in sight while Bucky mumbles nonsense and tries to muffle his whining on the back of his throat even though a few noises are a bit too loud, _I said I was gonna try_.

“Baby, turn around”, Steve whispers. He stands back up straightening himself and does as told, his boyfriend is still on his knees in front of him with a huge smile on his face, “put your back against the wall and open your legs”, the blond instructs.

He hates doing what he’s told, because let’s face it, Bucky is what his parents call a rebel without a cause, when someone says jump he docks, if it’s white he chooses black, in or out, right or wrong, it’s a part of his nature, _but this?_ He loves this; he’s crazy about this, he will do everything that Steve tells him to in the blink of an eye without a question.

_But, why?_

After the stupid relationship he was in a while ago, _if you can call it relationship_ , Bucky was terrified in contradicting Brock, it didn’t matter if the man was the one making mistakes, it was always on Bucky. When he finally gained back the control over his life it was like a train without brakes and nobody could stop him, and with Steve it’s so different because he’s not trying to hold him back, on the contrary, he’s on board with him. He trusts Steve, Bucky is sure he’s not going to hurt him and that he’s there for him and that’s why he can let himself go again and not have to worry if he’s going to wake up with a black eye in who knows where.

“Bucky”, Steve says, “do you want me to stop?” he asks looking up at him.

“No, no”, he shakes his head, “I got lost for a second, but I’m okay”, Bucky assures.

And just like that, without saying anything, Steve moves forward and puts his hand around Bucky’s dick and sucks the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, Bucky’s hands fly up to cover his moans again as the back of his head hits the wall behind him. The blond moves one hand back to Bucky’s ass and holds the base of the plug with his fingertips and turns it slowly, pulling it out a little while his mouth is still sucking Bucky’s dick. Bucky is sure he’s going to cry.

Steve pulls out Bucky’s dick from his mouth but continues stroking with his hand while the other works to move the plug still buried inside his ass, “tell me how you did this”, the blond says pushing the plug even deeper.

“Shiiit”, Bucky hisses, “fuck, fuck”, he says with his hands pulling at his hair, “I… I cleaned myself in the shower”, he sighs, “then, I… oh my god”, he moans when his boyfriend puts everything of Bucky’s cock inside his mouth and down his throat, Bucky knows by now that this man doesn’t even have a gag reflex.

“Then what?” Steve asks.

“Uuggh, c’mon”, he huffs, “Are you seriously going to make me tell you?” Bucky questions in frustration.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, sorry I asked”, the blond whispers as he continues stroking Bucky’s cock with his hand, but something isn’t quite the same, Steve is holding back, where he use to move fast and sure on what he was doing, now is slow and uncomfortable. And as usual, Bucky has killed the mood.

 _Fanfuckingtastic_.

“No, Steve…” he shakes his head, the blond retrieves his hand and closes it into a fist against his chest and his lips pressed into a line like he realized he was doing something wrong, but it’s far from wrong, “listen… don’t be sorry, I didn’t mean it like that”, the brunet says.

“I told you it’s fine, I can still suck you if that’s what you want”, Steve nods but he’s looking down at the floor, his body supported over his knees.

“Hey handsome, look at me”, Bucky places two fingers under his boyfriend’s chin to make him look up to meet his eyes, “I would kneel down but I have this thing inside and it’s killing me”, he chuckles and Steve smiles a little, “this is not just about me, I want to tell you, I really do but you make it so hard to think straight when your mouth it’s on me, it’s like my brain stops working”, he laughs.

“Are you being serious?” Steve questions looking up at Bucky’s face.

“Yeah”, he nods cupping his boyfriend’s face with his hands, “do you trust me?” Bucky asks.

“Yes”, the blonde answers.

“Then believe me when I say that if you ever do something that I don’t want you to do I will tell you”, he assures.

“Okay”, Steve says and Bucky leans forward carefully and places a kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead.

“I know you’re just teasing me, and I like it too”, Bucky passes his hand through Steve’s golden hair and pushes it away from his face.

“I just like to hear you voice, it’s funny when you mumble, I think it’s cute”, Steve smiles wide, a pink blush spreading across his cheeks and down his neck and Bucky just wants to confess how much he loves him.

“I’ll try to talk, but I won’t promise any coherent sentences”, Bucky chuckles.

***

“May I continue with my job then?” he wiggles his eyebrows.

“By all means”, Bucky places a kiss on his forehead again before he leans back, “where was I?” the brunet hums, “right, I finished showering and Jesus fucking Christ…” he hisses when Steve puts his cock back inside his mouth, it only takes a couple of licks to make him even harder.

And as Bucky said, he’s struggling to make full sentences, cursing and muffling his cries with his hands while Steve bobs his head slurping on his boyfriend’s cock while one hand works on massaging his balls and the other pushing and twisting the plug inside his ass.

Because, _fuck_ , it that isn’t one of the hottest things that Steve has ever seen.

“I… I squeezed lube in my fingers and fuck, fuuuuck…” the brunet tries to keep his voice down as much as he can, his hands fisted on his sides, “I put two inside to stretch myself”, he pants deeply.

Steve puts extra attention to the swollen head of the brunet’s dick while his hand pulls the plug outwards, the tiniest amount to stretch Bucky’s hole and then pushes it back in.

“Steve, fuck, Steve”, he whispers, “After I was a bit loose… I pushed the plug thinking…” he takes a deep breath when Steve begins to move his head down to put all of the man’s dick inside his mouth, pursing his lips tightly around the shaft as he hums on the back of his throat, “I wished it was you inside of me instead… oh shit…” he chuckles.

The blonde continues on like this for a few minutes, sucking and licking while he pulls in and out the plug a bit more every time and Bucky is fighting to stay up on his feet, supporting his weight against the wall behind him, “I was going to masturbate and take it off but…” Steve lets Bucky’s dick still inside his mouth and deep in his throat, holding his breath for a few seconds while he pulls out the plug off completely out of Bucky’s ass and then back inside quickly, “fuck, Steve…I-I’m gonna…” he mumbles.

Steve can feel how his boyfriend’s body begins to shiver all over while he cries and moans into his hands, his breathing shallow and unsteady, Bucky is coming, he senses it on the hand he has under the brunet’s testicles, his skin tightening and his legs trembling, fighting to stay straight. He gives a light squeeze at his boyfriend’s balls and a last push to the butt plug before Bucky is finally coming inside his mouth and directly down his throat with a muffled cry, Steve coughs a little after he swallows everything, the brunet winces when Steve finally pulls out the plug completely and leaves it over Bucky’s shirt on the floor.

He stands back up slowly, _my knees are going to kill me tomorrow_ , and Bucky is looking at him behind heavy eyelids while he places his hands over his knees to support his upper body, “I’m sorry”, Bucky murmurs between breaths.

Steve cleans the corner of his mouth with his thumb where a few drops of Bucky’s cum had fallen and licks his finger with the flat of his tongue, “what for?” he wonders.

“I didn’t meant to come so fast and inside your mouth”, the man whispers.

“Well, I’m not sorry, for neither of those”, Steve shakes his head. He turns around and is about to begin walking towards his duffle bag to grab his pajamas when Bucky stops him, placing his hand around Steve’s wrist, he turns to face his boyfriend again, “I was just going to grab some clothes to go to the bathroom and watch my hands”, he says, “Do you need help getting to the bed?” Steve questions.

“No, wait…” Bucky sighs, “I want you, I still want you inside of me”, he says standing straighter.

“Buck, you don’t have to”, Steve shakes his head, “I don’t do this because I expect something in return, this will go away”, he laughs looking down at his forgotten erection.

“Steve, I’m twenty six, not ninety, I can do this”, he chuckles, “I’m being honest when I’m saying I want my boyfriend to fuck me, I don’t feel obligated”, he says taking a step forward, “and I don’t want this to go away”, Bucky places his hand over Steve’s dick and closes his fingers around it, the sudden touch makes him feel goosebumps all over his body, the brunet hands are warm now, one stroking Steve’s cock and the other up on the back of Steve’s neck, Bucky leans forward and kisses him, the material of his piercing warm and slick against his lips.

While Bucky keeps kissing him, his tongue wet and hot against Steve’s, his hand is down stroking his cock fast and steady, Steve puts both of his hands on each side of Bucky’s ribcage and rubs his thumbs in circles over Bucky’s nipples, his boyfriend moans softly against his mouth, Steve starts panting as quiet as he can.

Bucky kisses Steve’s jaw and neck, then down to the curve of his neck, he stays there and the blond flinches when Bucky latches his teeth on his skin, Steve closes his eyes tightly and his mouth hangs open as his boyfriend sucks that particular area, he never stops rubbing Steve’s dick with his hand. The pain from the bite and the warmness from Bucky’s hand on his cock feels amazing, sending shivers all over his body, Steve almost let a moan escape until he remembers they’re not in Brooklyn.

“Mine, all mine”, Bucky whispers against his skin after he pecks a couple of times the same spot where he left his mark. Steve moves his hands to Bucky’s back and down to his hips.

“I hope my shirt… fuuuuuck…” he sighs when Bucky moves to his collarbone and does the same, right above his chest tattoo, another love bite that makes him squeeze his eyes shut and his dick twitches on Bucky’s hand, “I hope my shirt covers that”, he chuckles when Bucky releases him.

His boyfriend proceeds to do the same to the other side before he kneels down in front of him and leans forward to place open mouth kisses right under Steve’s navel, the ghost of his breath against his skin warm and comforting, the man leaves some other hickeys there, marking the skin on his hipbones and Steve gasps in return as the brunet continues to work his hand with slow strokes pulling at Steve’s dick.

When Bucky finally puts his tongue on Steve’s dick he has to support his weight by placing a hand on the wall behind Bucky, trying not to push himself further inside the brunet’s mouth and choke him, the fingers of his other hand combing his boyfriend’s hair away from his face smoothly while he concentrates to keep his breathing steady and silent.

Bucky places his hand around the root of Steve’s cock as he pulls his head backwards slowly; Steve makes the mistake to look down just in time when the brunet opens his mouth wide and sticks his tongue out, he rubs the head of Steve’s dick against it, from left to right and around his lips looking _so fucking_ hot and staring up at Steve under his dark eyelashes, Steve accidently closes his fist on Bucky’s hair and yanks it a bit, he let go right away and soothes his hair back again, “sorry”, he whispers and Bucky just gives him a wicked smile before he puts back Steve’s shaft inside his mouth.

Steve keeps staring down between his boyfriend’s mouth and eyes while he bobs his head down slowly, putting all of Steve’s cock inside and then back up without using his hands at all, he does this a couple of times looking straight into Steve’s eyes, his lips stretching as the blond’s dick goes deep inside to the back of his throat gagging slightly. Bucky moves his right hand over his head and places it over Steve’s and pushes his head forward, he catches right away what Bucky is trying to say, “are you sure? You want me to push inside?” he whispers, the brunet nods with Steve’s dick inside his mouth looking way more innocent than he should with his lips closed around a penis, “you’re too good to me, you know?” Steve praises.

His boyfriend puts down his hand and Steve notices the brunet is already hard again between his legs, both of his hands playing with his own erection. Steve begins to rock his hips back and forward to push his dick inside and fuck his boyfriend’s mouth, carefully trying not to choke him, he fails miserably a few times and Bucky does gag once or twice but apparently doesn’t care since he pushes himself forward trying to get every inch of Steve’s dick even deeper. Steve grunts and bites down his bottom lip trying to muffle his noises every time that the brunet’s purses his lips around his dick or when he moans, the vibrations on the back of his throat are making Steve lose control, one hand still supporting his weight against the wall and the other on the back of Bucky’s head.

But he still wants to do something before he comes, _I have to do it_ , he’s a gentleman and he will take care of his boyfriend’s needs even if that means making him stop sucking, “baby…” he sighs, “you gotta stop”, he says between breaths.

Bucky releases Steve’s cock with an obscene pop sound and looks up again fiddling with his lip piercing, “why?” he asks.

“I’m not done yet”, he winks, “c’mon, stand up”, Steve says offering his right hand to his boyfriend.

***

“Kindness will take you far, Steve Rogers”, he chuckles taking his boyfriend’s hand to put himself back on his feet.

He doesn’t know why but he loves when Steve fucks his mouth, _or perhaps I do know why_ , maybe is the way he looks so concentrated trying to keep his breathing steady and his golden hair sticks to his forehead, or Steve’s praises when he tells him he loves the way Bucky looks with his cock inside his mouth, the way his hands touch Bucky’s face and hair gently and carefully or even when he struggles to stay quiet and under control trying not to disturb anybody in the house.

Because, _that’s right_ , they’re on his parents’ house.

_How crazy and hot is that?_

And yet, he’s glad that he’s not sixteen anymore, and that Steve is with him now and not just some random guy he met at a party whose name he doesn’t even remember.

Steve takes a step forward to close the distance between them, their erections rubbing against each other’s, Bucky places his hands on Steve’s shoulders and leans in to kiss him as his boyfriend’s strong arms are tight around his waist keeping him there, then Steve’s hands move to Bucky’s lower back while the brunet bites Steve’s bottom lip playfully receiving a tiny whimper in return. Bucky yelps silently when he feels a particular roaming hand going down and squeezes his right buttock, Steve moves that same hand between his ass-cheeks and places a finger over his entrance, rubbing and pressing his fingertip over and around his hole causing him to gasp against his boyfriend’s mouth.

“You still want me inside of you?” Steve whispers against Bucky’s jaw, before he kisses him on the cheek, nose, lips, chin and down his neck while he keeps teasing Bucky with two fingers circling them around his opening until he puts one inside, then a second one with no problem. Bucky is a bit loose from having the plug inside for too long but not so much that he wouldn’t feel anything, when his boyfriend introduces a third finger and curves them inside of him, stretching his tight ring of muscles even more, he tilts his head backwards and opens his mouth wide as a silent moan escapes his throat, Steve begins to give him little pecks on his exposed neck, “Bucky?” he wonders.

Bucky digs his nails into the blond’s shoulders because Steve’s fingers moving inside of him and their cocks rubbing is making him feel ecstatic all over again, “yes, fuck me”, he nods quickly.

“Do you have any condoms? I didn’t expect to have sex in your parents’ house”, Steve chuckles taking a step back.

“It doesn’t matter, c’mon, I want to feel you, all of you”, Bucky leans forward and places kisses on Steve’s chest desperately, his hands running up and down his sides.

“Baby, listen…” Steve whispers, Bucky looks up to meet his boyfriend’s eyes, the blond passes his hand through Bucky’s hair and locks a rebel strand behind his ear, “I know you’re clean, I’m clean too but I want us to be safe, okay? Maybe when we get back home we’ll talk about it, yes?” Steve says.

“Fine”, he sighs, “I have condoms in my bag, I’ll get it”, he nods.

“Lube?” Steve questions.

Bucky shakes his head in amusement while he walks to grab a condom from his duffle bag, “I let mine in the bathroom but I think there’s some in the box Ida gave me, in the closet”, he points back over his shoulder.

When he finally finds what he’s looking for, he goes back to his previous spot, the space against the wall in between the door and a bookshelf, Bucky is glad that he forgot to turn off the lamp on the nightstand before he went downstairs or they would have been doing all of this in the dark, he doesn’t want to miss anything that Steve does or the way the shadows on his face look, his eyes alert and open wide and almost black with the tinniest hint of color around his pupils.

“Hey, these are flavored”, Steve says looking down at his hand as he walks towards Bucky, “they’re also water based”, he smiles wide, “did you know that water based lubes are…” Steve gasps when Bucky puts his hand over his dick and strokes him a couple of times before he rolls the condom on quickly, “someone’s desperate”, the blond chuckles.

“Yeah, do me already!” Bucky says.

“If that’s what you want”, Steve laughs.

“Pleaseeeeee”, he whines.

“Turn around”, his boyfriend demands with a more stern voice and with a serious expression that makes Bucky’s insides feel on fire and his skin hot with desire. Bucky does as told and fans both of his hands against the wall leaning forward with his ass out on display, his head turned to the side over his shoulder.

Steve squeezes some lube into his fingertip and brings it up to his mouth, “hmm, it does taste like vanilla”, he hums happily.

“Oh, c’mon!” Bucky huffs hopelessly, “are you gonna…oh shiiiiiit”, he hisses. Steve puts two fingers inside Bucky without warning and scissors them to open up his hole again to add a third finger, Bucky parts his legs to give his boyfriend more space, he almost cries out loud when he feels Steve’s fingers twisting inside of him, barely brushing his prostate, he has to bite down his lower lip instead.

“Were you saying?” Steve whispers, his breath warm and lips wet against Bucky’s ear. He’s about to whine when he suddenly feels a loss of touch as Steve pulls his fingers out, but then his boyfriend teases his hole with the tip of his cock, moving it up and down before he settles his left hand on Bucky’s hip and finally begins to push inside, “fuck, you’re so tight, baby”, Steve says.

Bucky breathes through his mouth taking all of his boyfriend’s cock inside, every inch stretching his hole as he pushes further slowly, his hand steady on Bucky’s skin. Bucky is doing a pretty good job being quiet but when he finally senses Steve’s hipbones against his ass-cheeks and his thighs rubbing his own, he lets out the moan that’s been stranded on the back of his throat, “shit, Stevie, you feel so good”, he cries.

“You gotta be quiet for me, Buck”, Steve leans forward and kisses the back of his shoulder, where his tattoo ends and his skin starts, right over one of the biggest scars he has.

“Move, boyfriend, I’m ready”, Bucky pleads.

One thing is having a butt plug inside his ass, restless and stretching him every time he makes a move, then with his boyfriend pulling it in and out it’s something else but _nothing_ , nothing compares to having Steve’s cock inside of him, it’s like the blond can read his mind and guess exactly what and how he wants it, hitting the right spot with every thrust, his movements sure and his breathing heavy.

Steve holds to Bucky’s hips and pulls back a little, then pushes forward and then back again until he picks up a steady pace and begins to roll his hips up and down instead of just slamming himself against Bucky, probably because he doesn’t want to make too much noise since they’re next to the door, _good thing my room is the last one in the hall_.

It’s when Bucky tiptoes and moves his hips downwards that he moans a bit louder, the angle causes the tip of Steve’s dick to hit his prostate, Steve is thrusting faster and impossibly deeper, practically fucking him against the wall, grunting against Bucky’s ear, biting the back of his neck and kissing him between his shoulder blades while Bucky’s hands are trapped between the wall and his chest.

“You feel amazing around me, baby”, Steve says, “Oh, Buck, you’re amazing”, he murmurs, the brunet’s blush deepens at Steve’s praises.

“Stevie, don’t stop, please”, he begs.

And of course that his boyfriend is happy to oblige, moving in and out faster, his hands pulling Bucky’s hips so tightly that are probably going to leave a mark, _not like I care_. Steve moves his right hand up to Bucky’s head and yanks him back by the hairs just a bit; the nerves on his scalp and Steve stretching his hole with every push are beginning to make his knees weak and he just cries and moans, his boyfriend’s moves are strong and under control while he grunts and whispers into Bucky’s ear.

_How does he do it?_

“Hey gorgeous, I don’t wanna stop but you gotta be quiet”, Steve says between breaths.

“I can’t, I can’t”, Bucky cries shaking his head desperately.

“Okay”, the blonde chuckles.

Bucky thinks for a second that his boyfriend is going to slow down or even pull out since Bucky is having trouble staying quiet, and as the thoughtful person Steve is, he doesn’t want to disturb Bucky’s family, but to his surprise, Steve doesn’t stop, on the contrary, he begins to push himself deeper and faster but he puts his hand over Bucky’s mouth to muffle his screams, Bucky places the inside of his left forearm over the wall and reaches with his other hand to stroke himself between his legs while Steve keeps fucking him restlessly against the wall, panting hot breath on the side of his neck.

***

Steve begins to slow down a bit because having sex standing up against a wall is not precisely comfortable but he has to admit it’s _pretty hot_ , his boyfriend was having trouble being silent and Steve helped him a little until Bucky got a hold of himself and tried to stay quiet again, Steve noticed that the brunet was biting down on his bottom lip so hard that he thought he was going to draw out some blood, his eyebrows knit together all the time and he almost hit the wall in front of him once but Steve managed to stop him closing his hand around the brunet’s.

“Kiss me”, Bucky demands.

He pushes himself in and out again a couple of times before he pulls out completely, Bucky sighs turning around on his feet and cups Steve’s face with his hands and leans forward for a kiss, his lips red and puffy for sucking and biting on them so much. They share a deep and hungry kiss for a few seconds until Bucky moves back again, “I know you’re an athlete and all but I’m not, I’m gonna get cramps on my legs”, he chuckles.

“You ride a bike, isn’t that enough exercise?” Steve asks, his lips warm against Bucky’s neck.

“The only exercise I’ve done in weeks is with you”, he laughs some more, Steve would have blush at that comment but he’s probably already flushed a deep shade of red by now.

“Bed?” Steve questions.

“No, I don’t wanna change the sheets”, he whines.

“You’re so lazy”, Steve chuckles.

“There, lets go to the chair”, Bucky says walking past Steve and pulling him by the wrist.

“I don’t think that chair is gonna hold us”, Steve says looking down at the wooden chair next to the book shelf, Bucky dumps his duffle bag to the floor and pushes Steve down by the shoulders, making him fall ass naked in the chair.

“Just watch”, the brunet winks. Bucky steps forward and opens his legs to trap Steve in the middle of them, he lowers himself a bit and leans in to give Steve a tiny kiss on the lips, “hold it up for me”, Bucky says against his lips.

Steve does as his boyfriend requests and closes his fingers around the root of his hard cock, the tip barely brushing the brunet’s ass, Bucky positions himself against it and places his hands on each buttock to part his ass-cheeks and opens himself to sink down on Steve’s dick, Bucky tilts his head back biting his bottom lip as he takes inch by inch all of Steve’s shaft, the blond keeps breathing through his open mouth staring down to see how his cock disappears inside of his boyfriend.

When Bucky is almost all the way down, Steve removes his hand letting Bucky sit down completely, once the brunet’s ass is against Steve’s thighs, Steve rests his back on the chair and Bucky places his hands on Steve’s neck, the blond’s hands on his boyfriends hips, rubbing his thumbs in circle motions over his soft and glistered skin. Bucky kisses Steve’s neck and what he’s able to reach of his chest without moving his lower body just yet and Steve stands still trying not to move his hips upwards.

“I’m not saying this just because… shit…” Steve sighs when Bucky makes an experimental move and leans forward a bit, “because I’m inside of you but…fuuuuuck…” he whispers when the brunet begins to move up a little, “I do think you’re gorgeous”, Steve nods.

Bucky moans on the back of his throat when he tries to stand up but not all the way, just enough to pull out Steve’s dick out and sit back down on it, he cups Steve’s face on his hands and brings their lips together, a soft kiss with their lips closed, “and I do think you’re handsome”, he says before he swallows loudly, “you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen”, Bucky frowns his eyebrows.

The blond pushes his head up to reach Bucky’s lips and kisses him again, he feels breathless when Bucky finally starts moving his hips from front to back, supporting his weight on his feet and his hands back on Steve’s shoulders, Steve leaves his hands on Bucky’s hips and his heels well anchored on the hardwood floor, “you feel amazing, baby”, the blond turns his head to peck the inside of Bucky’s inked forearm.

His boyfriend responds with a cry as he continues to rock his hips fucking himself with Steve’s cock, in and out of his tight hole and Steve tries to breathe calmly through his nose.

“Tell me more…” Bucky moans, “what do you like about me?” he says before he stars panting.

“I- I like… the wrinkles on the corner of your eyes when you smile…” Steve grunts while Bucky keeps moving on top of him, pushing himself up and back down around Steve, his cock leaking pre-cum between their bellies, “and the scowl on your forehead”, he frowns his eyebrows.

Steve is feeling so lazy because he’s just sitting there while his boyfriend does all the job, his hips going back and forth and he fights to stay quiet, watching the man above him and swallows his own whines, “I like it when your jaw flinches and…oh shit…” he pants when Bucky starts moving faster, his ring of muscles stretching around Steve’s cock, “also the crack on your chin”, Steve moves his hands up an rubs his thumbs over and around his boyfriend’s pierced nipples and Bucky moans a bit louder.

“Don’t stop, I like that”, Bucky nods with his eyes tightly closed, he puts a hand over his mouth to muffle his cries as he continues shifting up and down while the chair creaks under them.

“I didn’t knew I was into piercings until…” he says, “oh fuck”, he whispers, “until I saw yours”, Steve leans a bit forward and sits properly to kiss Bucky collarbones and down his chest to his nipples, flicking his tongue and sucking them between his lips and into his mouth, taking his time with each one.

“Steve…shit, Steve”, Bucky hisses tilting his head backwards holding himself on Steve’s shoulder while he rocks his pelvic area to fuck himself with Steve’s dick.

The blond moves his hands from Bucky’s hips to his lower back to bring him a little closer, “I love the scars on your shoulder”, he says.

“Oh god…” Bucky chuckles desperately, “hold me, please”, he whimpers.

And that’s exactly what Steve does, he places his arms with his hands wide open on Bucky’s back and holds him right there at the same time helping Bucky push himself up and down on Steve’s shaft, the blond places the side of his head in the middle of Bucky’s chest, the brunet’s heart beating fast inside his ribcage, throbbing against Steve’s ear, Bucky has his hands buried into Steve’s hair and his arms around his head while he moans on the back of his throat.

A few seconds after that, Steve notices that Bucky is close when his movements start to become uneven, sometimes slow and sometimes fast as he forces himself to stay quiet and Steve grunts moving his hips to push up into Bucky, droplets of sweat running down his temples and back.

Steve _needs_ Bucky to be close, he doesn’t know how much he’s going to last, he can push himself and hold for a while but his testicles were starting to resent it since the moment that Bucky begun to pant into Steve’s right ear.

“Bucky… baby, are you close?” Steve questions.

“Yes”, Bucky says quickly.

His boyfriend’s pace is fast and desperate, Steve moves his right hand down to Bucky’s crotch and curls his fingers around the brunet’s erection, Bucky yelps in surprise when the blonde starts stroking him fast and steady, twisting his wrist pulling up.

When Bucky finally comes, he hunches his back and puts his forehead on Steve’s shoulder, both of his hands covering his mouth to shut his screams, his body shaking and his hole tightening and flinching around Steve’s dick, Steve doesn’t stop pumping his boyfriend’s dick until he feels the last drop of cum is out while his left arm is placed around Bucky’s waist for support.

Right when Steve thinks Bucky is going to stop moving after his climax, the brunet starts shifting again, his hole tight around Steve’s cock as he continues to ride him, Steve moves his left hand down again to Bucky’s hipbone, the other one still on his boyfriend’s dick. Bucky grabs Steve’s right wrists and brings it up to his mouth to lick his fingers, Steve stares at him with wide eyes while his dick goes in and out of Bucky.

***

He’s tired, _so, so tired_ , but he already came twice tonight and Steve not even once, _it’s not fair_ , even though he feels the pit of his stomach on fire and his skin clammy he’s going to make Steve come, he can do this.

Bucky licks his boyfriend’s fingers clean, tasting his own semen while he just continues rolling his hips for Steve, who’s breathing fast through his mouth, “I want you to come inside of me”, Bucky whispers.

“Oh, Buck”, Steve groans when Bucky sucks the blond’s thumb into his mouth, playing with his tongue and pursing his lips around it when he pulls it out and back in at the same time he keeps riding his boyfriend’s cock.

Steve frowns his eyebrows and closes his eyes tightly, that’s how Bucky notices he’s about to have his own orgasm, _finally,_ Bucky pushes himself to move faster placing his hands on Steve’s shoulders again, his legs wide open and tiptoeing to make room to move his hips even more and sink down on Steve’s dick until the blond starts jerking under him, holding Bucky’s body against his, whispering Bucky’s name over and over again.

When his body is finally calm from his high and the spasms stop, the blond concentrates to breath through his nose, Bucky leans back a bit to see his boyfriend’s face who’s smiling up to him with tired eyes, the brunet tilts his head down and kisses Steve’s forehead before he starts chuckling, “I haven’t come this hard in soooo long”, he sighs before he rests his forehead on Steve’s shoulder again.

“I’m glad I was able to help with that”, Steve laughs.

“I told you about the cock ring, you don’t need one”, he says, “better than riding a bike but I can’t stand up, I can’t walk”, he shakes his head, “help me, I need a wheelchair, somebody!” Bucky whines, “better call Clint”, he jokes.

“C’mon!” Steve chuckles.

Bucky pushes himself up and winces as he feels Steve’s dick sliding out of his hole, he’s definitely going to be sore in the morning, Steve stands up and places his arms around Bucky to carry him to the bed, the brunet wraps his legs around his waist with the last of strength he manages to gather and feels relieved as soon as Steve lowers him on the bed. The blond stands next to the bed and slips the condom out to toss it in the garbage can after he does a little knot on it.

“Tissues”, Bucky mutters pointing at nightstand to the side.

Steve cleans himself and then Bucky, the brunet would have done it himself if it wasn’t because he’s _too damn_ tired, his boyfriend puts on some pants and practically puts on Bucky his own pajamas after he whines and complains _like the mature adult_ he is that he doesn’t like pants.

A few minutes after that, they’re just laying on bed in silence under the blankets and all the lights off, Bucky cuddled next to Steve, his arm tossed across his boyfriend’s broad chest and his head resting on his shoulder, the blond’s heartbeats loud against Bucky’s ear.

“Steve?” Bucky whispers.

“Yeah?” Steve sighs.

“Is it true? The things you said you like about me?” He questions.

“Yes, it’s the truth”, his boyfriend answers firmly.

“Even my scars?” Bucky asks unsure.

“Specially those”, Steve places a kiss on Bucky’s forehead.

“You know…” he takes a deep breath and looks up to meet Steve’s eyes who are staring down at him, “sometimes, I don’t feel like myself anymore”, Bucky says.

“How come?” Steve wonders.

“It’s hard to put into words, maybe it’s not that, perhaps it’s more like I’m myself again? I don’t know, I feel more awake”, he sighs, “you make me want to be a better person, is that weird?” Bucky chuckles.

His boyfriend doesn’t say anything, he just stares down at Bucky’s face, looking at him straight in the eyes, it’s a bit dark and Bucky can’t see the color of his cheeks or his big blue eyes but he’s sure that a thousand and one different thoughts are going through his boyfriend’s mind, and maybe not all good since he frowns his eyebrows a bit.

“I don’t deserve you”, Steve whispers shaking his head.

“Don’t…” Bucky says, _oh god_ , if that doesn’t break Bucky’s heart; Steve’s words are so sincere because he really has no clue about how amazing he is and Bucky just whishes he could do something about it, “don’t say that, okay?” Bucky turns around so he’s now lying on his belly, his weight supported on his elbows and his face right in front of Steve’s, “you have no idea how happy you make me, I haven’t been like this in forever and you have a lot to do with that, you’re so much more that I could ever ask for, you’re everything I want, just stay with me, please”, Bucky runs his left hand through Steve’s hair and leaves it on the side of the blond’s neck.

“I’ll stay for as long as you want me”, Steve nods.

“Promise me you won’t say again you don’t deserve me, ever again, don’t even think about it”, Bucky says.

“Okay”, Steve whispers.

“Promise me”, Bucky pleads.

“I promise”, Steve assures with a tiny smile on his face.

Bucky lowers his head and puts his lips against his boyfriend’s, Steve places his right hand on the back of Bucky’s head to keep him in place as they open their mouth to share a slow and passionate kiss before they finally settle back to sleep, Bucky’s arm around Steve’s torso holding him tight, never wanting to let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter, I think it's even longer than the last one, sorry (?), but yeah, I just love kid fics and I wanted to give these guys a break from work and their usual scenarios :) (aside from the last part that was just for fun) ;)
> 
> As usual, thank you so much for your encouraging words, lovely comments and feedback, I love hearing from you, don't be a stranger and come say hello <3
> 
> Have a lovely week! :D


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! :D
> 
> I was planning on uploading this at midnight but I feel asleep, don't hate me :( I just got back from school right now, I have lots of homework but first things first ;)
> 
> Either way, here it is, better late than never, right?
> 
> Enjoy :*

Bucky wakes up first, _strangely_ , Steve is laying on his stomach next to him, drooling into the pillow in the cutest way possible, Bucky has noticed that he only sleeps like that when he’s really tired, the same as Bucky with his snoring. Bucky tries to turn to his left without disturbing his boyfriend’s arm that is tossed haphazardly over his waist but Steve must have sense it since he wakes up right away, he smiles at Bucky with his eyes closed and Bucky kisses his forehead sweetly.

He remembers what Steve said the previous night, about not deserving Bucky, _if that isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard_ , but good thing that his boyfriend seems to be in a good mood today. The blond stands up quickly and goes to grab clean clothes and then straight to the bathroom, Bucky just stays in bed with his body spread on the mattress looking up at the ceiling with a big smile on his face.

When the blond is done, it’s Bucky’s turn to shower, when he stands up he realizes right away that he _indeed_ is sore, but he isn’t complaining about it, _it’s a good type of sore_ , he whines and throws a little tantrum as he always does when it’s time for a shower, but despite his immature act, Steve chuckles and kisses him on the cheek before he goes downstairs.

Bucky showers as quick as he manages and then moves to the lower floor, everybody is on the living room watching TV since they just had breakfast, Steve is talking to his mother in the kitchen, waiting for him to have _a late_ breakfast like his boyfriend said, _but eleven a.m. is not that late, right?_

They eat sitting across each other on the table at the corner of the kitchen while his mother washes the dishes by the sink, when they’re done, they clean after themselves, then Bucky goes to the bathroom and by the time he comes back, his mother, Becky and Connie are crowding Steve around the stove.

“Please, Steve, pleaseeeeeeee, I want pie!” Connie demands jumping from side to side on her trademark rain purple boots.

“Hey Connie, take it easy”, Becky chuckles.

“I think we have everything you need”, his mother nods.

“Can I help? Please, can I?” Connie bats her eyelashes at the blond.

“Well, the recipe is super secret but since I believe you’re special, you can help us”, Steve smiles looking down at the girl.

“Yeeeeeeeees!” the little girl cheers with a fist up in the air, “I promise I’ll keep the secret”, she says with her eyes open wide.

“Perfect”, the blond beams at her.

“Somebody said pie?” Bucky asks from where he’s leaning against the doorframe.

“Buuuucket!” Connie comes running towards him, he moves forward and ducks to carry her on his arms, “Steve said that I can help him with the pie”, she smiles at him as he bounces her on his arms.

“Is that so?” he wonders, “What happened to the other pie?” he questions looking at his mother.

“You’re father ate it, obviously”, she chuckles.

“All of it?!” he asks in surprise.

“Your sister helped”, his mother nods her head towards Becky.

“I just had a tiny piece, okay? My dad won’t even let me look at it!” she laughs.

“So we’re making another one”, Steve announces.

“Can Bucky help us?” Connie asks looking at Steve with hopeful eyes.

“Of course”, his boyfriend smiles.

“Oh no, you have enough hands, I’ll help eat it”, he says putting the girl back on the floor.

“Good, or we would have ended up with a pie with only two apples in it”, Steve chuckles and Bucky sticks his tongue out at him.

“Classic!” Becky yells and his mother giggles along with her.

***

“My brother said you’re coming with me tonight”, Becky says as she _murders_ an apple with the knife, _her ability to slice things is astonishing_ , Steve was going to ask where she learned how to do it when he remembered she’s actually attending Culinary Art School, _duh!_

“Yeah, I think so”, Steve nods.

“That’s nice, Peter is dee-jaying tonight, just like a mash-up thing”, she comments.

“Oh, that’s cool, I think Bucky really wants to meet him”, Steve smirks looking down at the bowl on his hands.

“I know, I’m sure he’ll try to pull a big brother attitude on him, I hope he doesn’t get annoyed”, she shrugs her shoulders.

“Bucky or your guy?” Steve wonders.

“Oh, not Peter, Bucky definitely, Peter’s a handful, you’ll see”, she laughs, “although I know you’ll be there to help”, Becky says.

“I’ll try”, Steve blushes.

Steve feels a little pull on his left leg, he looks down to notice the little girl smiling up at him shaking her hands in the air, “I’m ready, my hands are clean, can I help now?” the little girl asks.

“Yes!” he nods.

They arrange a chair next to them so Connie can reach the counter; Steve gives her a big spoon for her to mix the ingredients even though the blending is almost done. They concentrate to do everything they need for the pie as they chitchat about their previous day at the zoo, because apparently, on the little girl’s words, it was one of the best days of her life and she wouldn’t stop talking about how amazing the animals are, the awesomeness of her cousin Bucky and how smart Steve is.

“Steve, who taught you how to make apple pie?” the girl asks balancing on the chair while they wait for the dessert to be ready.

“My mom did”, he smiles proudly.

“And where is she?” she wonders.

“Well…” he starts but Winnie interferes from where she’s sitting behind her laptop on a stool next to the counter, “Connie, don’t pry”, she says.

“It’s okay”, he nods at her before he turns around to face the girl again, “my mom passed away a few years ago”, Steve says.

“I’m sorry”, she whispers, “my mommy says that when someone you love dies they don’t leave you, they stay right here so you can remember them forever”, Connie says poking her chest with her index finger.

“Your mommy is right, I feel like my ma’ is always with me”, he smiles warmly.

“How old are you again?” Becky chuckles looking at the girl.

“Hey Steve, would you like to see pictures of Bucky when he was younger?” Winnie asks all the sudden.

“If there are photos of me in there, no!” Becky yells.

“Yes, please”, Steve laughs.

“Perfect, I’ll get the albums”, Winnie cheers standing up after she closes her laptop.

“Don’t laugh when you see me”, Becky warns pointing a daring finger at him, “I used to look like a boy, I had the greatest idea that I wanted my hair short and my parents let me, worst decision ever, it didn’t look like I thought it would”, she chuckles.

“I don’t think you look like a boy, Becky, you’re pretty”, Connie says, “boys are not cute”, she scrunches her nose.

“Thank you, and you’re beauuuuutiful”, Becky smiles wide at the girl.

***

Bucky notices his father and aunt in the backyard playing with the dogs, he goes to the closet next to the door and grabs a jacket not even bothering to see to whom it belongs to, he pulls up the zipper all the way and slides open the glass door to go and join them.

“Hey”, he smiles, “you guys aren’t cold or what?” he says crossing his arms over his shoulders and rubbing his arms trying to put some extra warmth on his body.

“Not really… here”, his father says before he throws a chewed up ball at him, Cosmo and Captain run towards him euphorically with their tongues hanging out of their mouths, Bucky kneels in front of them and scratches them, with one hand each, he stands back up and throws the ball to the back of the garden and the dogs go after it immediately, “listen...” his father sighs, “I’m not going to lecture you, we’re both too old for that anyway”, the man chuckles, “I know your aunt here has taught you well and I’m sure you’re responsible enough to be safe”, he nods.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky wonders in confusion with his eyebrows knit together.

“Bucky, we weren’t born yesterday, I could see your teeth on your boyfriend’s neck from a mile apart even though he tried to cover them, besides you’re not exactly quiet”, Ida laughs.

Bucky blushes a bit but he isn’t embarrassed at all, he did had sex with his boyfriend, _so what?_ Safe, pleasurable, unbelievable and hot sex with his boyfriend Steve Rogers, “sorry?” he gives them an apologetic smile.

“I’m just going to say I’m happy for you, Steve seems like a nice guy and you deserve the best”, his father nods.

“Dad, you’re gonna make me cry”, he sniffs playfully.

“Fuck off, I’m trying to be a good parent here!” The man laughs.

“I know, and you are”, Bucky smiles.

The relationship that Bucky has with his father is a bit different to most, maybe odd like some people call it, acting like they are buddies instead of father-son, but George has always made sure that Bucky can count on him as a friend too and not just someone that provides a roof over his head and food on his plate; Bucky looks up to his dad since he can remember, his father the soldier, the war hero, the bravest man that Bucky has ever met. All the sacrifices he did for his family and his country mean the world to Bucky and when his dad came from his last tour, the man fell into a dark and dreadful place, but his mother stood beside him every step of the way and helped to bring him back.

George had a tough childhood with a beating and drunk father, and when he had children of his own he made a promise to himself to never be like that with his family. He became the spoiling parent even though he looks like a stern and serious man on the outside, he’s loving and sweet with his children, _on his own way of course_ , teaching them to be thankful, to built relationships out of trust, respect and loyalty.

“I joked with Steve about the thing on his neck and his face turned so red that I thought his head was going to explode”, Ida chuckles.

“Yeah, he’s cute like that”, Bucky laughs.

 _The cutest, actually_.

“You’re such a pillow bitter though”, his aunt giggles.

“You have no idea, I was still spitting feathers in the morning”, Bucky jokes laughing out loud.

“What the fuck, seriously? In front of me? C’mon!” George whines.

“That’s why the mouth gag, you dummy”, Ida says.

“You’re still giving him toys? Stop perverting my children, you demon!” his father demands, but not sounding serious at all.

“Children, as in plural?” Bucky asks with his nose scrunched pretending to be disgusted.

“Yes, I gave you your first sex toy when you turned eighteen, same to your sister”, Ida nods.

“Eeeewww, I did not want to know that!” Bucky whines.

“Help, somebody! Why can’t we be a normal family?” His father yells at the sky with his eyes wide open and his arms up.

“Normal is overrated”, Ida shrugs her shoulders, “remember that thing I gave you on your past anniversary? You want your son to find out what it was?” she wonders wiggling his eyebrows at him, George pretends to zip his lips and throws away the imaginary key, before he puts his palms up offering surrender.

“Oh God, please no, I’m outta here!” Bucky turns on his heel and walks back towards the door.

“Hey, wait!” his father yells, Bucky turns around to face him, “You’re going out with your sister tonight, right?” George asks.

“Yeah, why?” Bucky wonders.

“I understand that you’re meeting Peter”, he sighs, “listen, I’m not sure how the whole dating thing goes and your sister tells me he’s not her boyfriend, I just want to know if she’s not in too deep”, he explains.

“I’m sure it’s the other way around, dad, she knows what she’s doing”, Bucky says.

“I don’t want her to get hurt”, George shakes his head.

“You told me once that’s a part of growing up, remember? But it gets better, and it does, she’s fine”, Bucky nods.

“When did you get so smart? It’s from your mother’s side obviously”, the older man chuckles.

“Aunt Ida, my dad just called you dumb!” Bucky yells back at her where she’s petting the dogs.

“Whaaaaaaaaat?!” Bucky hears her asking when he starts running back inside.

“BUCKYYYYY, COME BACK HERE!” his father shouts, Bucky giggles closing the door behind him.

***

“Baby, you were the cutest kid ever, don’t be mad”, Steve chuckles after he puts his shirt over his head.

Bucky turns to see over his shoulder when he finishes fixing his hair in front of the mirror, “as a kid, whatever, but teenager, I looked like shit, I don’t even know who the fuck convinced me to dye a part of my hair red, my mom just showed you the pictures to make me mad”, Bucky huffs.

Steve chuckles a bit as he walks to his boyfriend and wraps his arms around his waist from behind; he places a few open mouth kisses on the side of his neck, “you did not looked like shit, you looked hot,” Steve whispers against his boyfriend’s skin.

“Yeah, like my head was on fire”, Bucky says.

“Yes, that too”, Steve jokes with a giggle.

“Asshole”, Bucky murmurs but he’s trying to bite down a smile.

The blond laughs on the back of his throat and continues to peck his boyfriend’s soft skin, all around his neck, the back of his ears and the red tip of them while he keeps his arms around the brunet, Bucky’s back close to his chest, taking his time between every kiss. Bucky tilts his head back and rests it on Steve’s shoulder before he lets out a deep and long and shaky sigh.

“You looked hot, you are hot”, Steve whispers moving his head to the side and reaches for Bucky’s jaw, placing soft kisses along his neck and up to his ear.

“Sweetheart”, hisses between his teeth, his hands squeezing Steve’s forearms.

“Mmhm?” Steve hums.

“Stevie, I love this, I do, but you gotta stop”, Bucky says but still not making an effort to move, “or we’ll never leave this place”, he chuckles.

“Okay”, he nods after he places one last kiss to the brunet’s jaw.

He takes a step back and Bucky turns around to face him, he runs a hand through Steve’s hair, probably to soothe it back in place, “ you know, it reminds me of my ma’ when you call me sweetheart, she used to call me that”, Steve comments.

“Does it bother you that I call you that?” Bucky questions.

“Not at all, I like it”, Steve nods smiling.

“You’re amazing, you know?” Bucky says leaning forward and kisses Steve’s lips.

Steve checks inside his pockets to make sure he has his phone and wallet before they go downstairs to meet Becky since they agreed they’re going on her car, Steve offered to be the designated driver because he doesn’t even drink in the first place, in case she wanted to drink, she said she drank the day before and she doesn’t want to be hangover on Sunday because she has a lot of homework to do.

“Looking good”, Becky whistles at them as soon as they put a foot on the lower floor.

Steve is wearing a royal blue Henley with a grey zip up hoodie and a black and navy blue bomber jacket over it, dark wash jeans and brown boots on his feet, just a casual and comfortable attire for a cold night. His boyfriend’s outfit is all dark as usual, a Black Flag shirt that has seen better days, dark gray cardigan, black leather jacket, black jeans ripped at the knees and black combat boots.

“We always look good”, Bucky winks at her.

“You also look great”, Steve offers a smile.

“I know”, she smirks and Steve chuckles. She’s also wearing something casual, a thick burgundy knit sweater under a brown coat and a purple scarf wrapped around her neck, blue jeans and tan booties.

They’re going to the Black Cat tonight, there’s a small show with local bands only and after that, Peter, Becky’s guy is taking over the speakers to put on a playlist to set the mood for the evening, the bar has an alternative vibe to it and nobody dresses up for events there, everyone wears band merchandising, jeans and tennis shoes. Steve’s a bit nervous since he has heard stories about Bucky’s teenage years, his boyfriend is popular around here and Steve is probably going to meet new people tonight and he doesn’t know what to expect about it.

“To the car everyone!” Becky cheers.

When they finally arrive at the place it’s just like Steve remembers it, the black sign right on top of the entrance with the cutoff letters in the middle, the surrounding places look packed even though it’s freezing, _Saturday night after all_ , a cold night with the a dark sky full of stars above them. Becky finds a spot to park not too far away from the bar, as soon as they get out, Bucky holds Steve’s hand interlacing their fingers together, Steve stares down to their hands for a couple of seconds and when he meets Bucky’s face again the guy is smiling wide at him, the brunet leans forward and places a soft kiss on Steve’s lips, the tip of his nose cold as the piercing against his skin. His boyfriend turns on his heels and begins walking after his sister with the blond in tow.

There’s a large crowd in the line outside, Steve would have stand at the end of it but the siblings keep walking straight to the entrance and Steve remains silent when they meet the guard at the door.

“Heeeeeey, I was hoping you worked today!” Becky says to the man. It’s a gentleman on his late thirties, about Bucky’s height, pale skin and black hair slicked back, round glasses and a stern look on his face, wearing an all black attire.

The guy opens his arms wide and gives her a smile followed by a tight, “I imagined you’ll come today, keep Peter away from the bar, please”, the guy chuckles.

“I’ll try, I won’t make any promises though”, she shakes her head, “do you remember my brother?” Becky asks taking a step to the side.

“Bucky, is that you?” the man questions.

Bucky releases Steve’s hand and takes a step forward and smirks at the man, “I don’t have any other brother that I know of”, he shrugs a shoulder, “of course it’s me, you idiot!” Bucky chuckles.

“Come here”, the older man says embracing Bucky into a side hug while Steve stands there _awkwardly_.

“Damn it, Jerry, you look so old, you’re like a fossil here”, his boyfriend laughs.

“Always the charming, why can’t you be nice like your sister?” the guy says.

***

“I’m always nice”, Bucky winks, “hey, I want you to meet somebody”, he nods and waves his hand at Steve to come closer, “this is my boyfriend Steve”, Bucky smiles wide at the blond.

“Steve Rogers”, his boyfriend says offering his right hand at him.

“Jerry Carstairs”, the man shakes the blond’s hand along with a nod, “I can’t believe you finally settled”, he laughs, “wait, I’m sorry”, he says to Steve, “he settled, because you are one ugly bastard”, he points at the blond then at Bucky.

“You’re just jealous cause’ you already have gray hair”, he jokes.

“It was nice seeing you, say hi to your dad for me”, Jerry nods, “now go have fun, let me do my job”, he adds with a smirk.

Bucky says his goodbyes and holds Steve’s hand again to start walking inside after Becky who’s leading them to the side of the place where the bar is located, “that was Jerry, he has been working in this place since I started coming to shows, he broke a lot of my fights”, Bucky says to Steve, “he’s a nice guy, vet, he loves my dad”, Bucky chuckles.

“I see”, Steve nods.

“C’mon guys, my friends are by the bar”, Becky waves at them to move after her.

It’s around nine thirty when they finally get inside the place, there’s some _experimental weird ass_ music playing on the background while a band is setting up on the stage, when they reach the bar Bucky spots Emma, Illyana and Kitty from afar.

“Okay, before you say anything, here’s how it is”, she says to the stopping in the middle of the way.

“You remember Emma?” she wonders and Bucky nods, “her boyfriend just broke up with her, she cheated on him with Namor”, Becky nods.

“I knew it! He didn’t want to tell me”, Bucky chuckles.

“Yeah, that happened” she says, “also, Kitty, it’s not much of a saint as she looks, she has a boyfriend, Bobby, but I believe she has feelings for Peter and never told me”, Becky frowns her nose.

“Your Peter?” Bucky questions.

“Yes, he’s not my Peter though, we just have sex”, she shrugs her shoulder, “I’m ending it soon though, I’m done with that”, the girl laughs.

“Becky!” Bucky shakes his head.

“You’re nobody to say anything”, she narrows her eyes at him, “where was I?... Right! Illyiana…” she trails waving her hand.

“Rasputina, The Russian?” Bucky remembers, “didn’t Kitty dated her brother, and the guy tattooed her name on his chest or something?” Bucky chuckles.

“Oh, boy”, Steve sighs.

“Exactly”, Becky shakes her head smiling.

“Hey, is her brother named Peter Rasputin?” Steve wonders, the brothers turn their heads to look at him.

“Yes, why?” Becky questions.

“Is he a painter? Because if he is, I know him”, Steve comments.

“I believe so, he uses an alias though”, Becky tilts her head to the side with a thoughtful expression on her face.

“Colossus, right?” Steve says.

“Yeah, that’s the one”, Becky nods.

“You know everybody!” Bucky huffs throwing a hand at the air.

“Anywayyyyyyy, Illy is single”, Becky says with a nod and turns around.

“It’s like a soap opera”, Steve whispers.

“So much drama”, Bucky shakes his head, “they’re good girls, they’re Becky’s high school friends, I know she doesn’t hang out with them as much as she used to, so yeah”, Bucky says before he starts walking again with Steve behind him, their hands still glued together.

“Hey, bimbos!” Becky yells, the three girls turn their heads and his sister receives a flip of the finger, a whine and a ‘loser’ but all of them are laughing and giggling with their drinks in hand, Becky gives them a quick hug to each of them before she turns to the couple, “remember my brother, Bucky? And this is his boyfriend Steve”, his sister says.

“What’s up?” he says, Bucky gives them a peace sign and Steve does a little wave with his free hand, “hello”, Steve smiles shyly.

The three of them mutter something between their teeth but Bucky doesn’t catch anything since the band is beginning to do sound check and a lot of noise is going on around them, but he notices how Becky elbows Emma’s arm and they burst out in giggles again. Bucky rolls his eyes when the girls turn around to order something else from the bar, he moves a little to face Steve and looks up to see that his boyfriend is smiling wide at him.

“Hi”, Steve says, “Do you come here often?” Steve asks wiggling his eyebrows trying to sound casual and failing.

Bucky starts laughing out loud at the bad pick-up line, “no, but I might start if you’re around”, the brunet winks and now it’s time for Steve to laugh, tilting his head backwards chuckling sweetly into the air, and the only thing that Bucky wants to do is lean forward and kiss his throat.

“Hey lovebirds, do you want anything?” Becky questions.

“Beer, you?” Bucky asks his boyfriend.

“I’m okay, thank you”, the blond shakes his head.

“I haven’t been here in ages”, Bucky looks around the room before he takes a step forward and wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and tucks his head under his chin, the side of his face on the middle of Steve’s chest, the blond puts his arms around Bucky’s torso rubbing a hand on his back, “I like this”, Bucky hums happily.

“What?” Steve wonders.

“You, here with me”, Bucky says.

“Well, I like being with you too, I don’t care where”, Steve kisses the top of Bucky’s head.

_I love you. I love you. I love you_

***

Bucky might say that Steve knows everyone, and he does know a lot of people, from his time as a student, from concerts and shows and from his work, but his boyfriend is not too far behind and Steve’s not surprised at all. Bucky waved hello a few people on their way in after their little chat with the guy at the door, Jerry, then Becky’s friends and then a whole bunch of other people, a lot of waving, fist bumping, tight hugs, side hugs, small hugs, smiles, winks, jokes, laughter, greetings and wide eyes.

_Oh, so charming!_

Steve is amused to see the brunet so happy, that big smile that makes the outer corners of his gray-blue eyes wrinkle, Steve was a bit intimidated at the beginning, he isn’t going to lie, a different city with unfamiliar people, sure he’s been here before but that was ages ago and with his friends that didn’t knew a lot of people from around here either, and right now he feels on the spotlight, right next to Bucky Barnes of course.

A few minutes after their arrival, Steve has already met so much people that it’s hard to remember all the names, but everyone is really welcoming and friendly. Steve feels his nerves washing away as the night progresses, he’s feeling like he’s floating, Bucky is holding his hand at all times and his beer on the other; every time he says hi to someone new the first thing he does is introduce Steve before he dives into the conversation, always including him, talking about what his life has been in the past few years and what not.

Two bands of different genres played already and thankfully the music isn’t too loud that you can talk without having to yell, even though it takes Steve a couple of seconds to join the conversation and come back to reality every time he hears Bucky say ‘This is my boyfriend Steve’, everything feels like a dream. Steve is having a great time and he even feels a little proud of himself when some people recognize him or ask about his work, wondering if he’s ‘The Steve Rogers’, he exchanges a few business cards here and there, smiling and thanking those who point that his art is amazing.

The couple walks towards Becky when his boyfriend finally spots her standing next to a table full of people, laughing and chatting with a soda in hand, “where have you been?” she wonders as they get closer.

“You know, socializing”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder and leaves his third empty bottle of beer on the table.

“I heard a couple of girls fangirling about the both of you”, Becky chuckles.

“What?” Steve questions.

“Yeah, something like…” she says before he clears her throat and places her soda on Bucky’s hand, “I can’t believe Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are dating”, she mocks in a high pitch voice waving her hands in the air, “and then a squeal that almost left me deaf”, Becky laughs.

Bucky and him chuckle but don’t say anything, then his boyfriend calls for a waiter to order another beer and Steve asks for a bottle of water this time. They join the conversation that Becky is having until a guy comes towards them shouting with his arms wide open.

“Becca, Becky, babe!” he yells.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? I’m not your babe”, she rolls her eyes.

“Oh, c’mon! You are a babe”, he sighs, “you’re so hot and sexy and…” the man says, Steve turns to the side to see that Bucky has his arms crossed over his chest narrowing his eyes at the guy, a deep scold on his forehead.

“Peter, shut up”, she mutters between her teeth.

“And those curves”, he whistles making circular gestures with his hands towards Becky’s body.

“Peter!” Becky yells, “I want you to meet my brother”, she opens her eyes wide at him, “and his boyfriend”, she adds.

“Oooooohhhh, right!” the guy, Peter, adds nodding his head, “it’s great to finally meet you”, he says.

“Bucky, Steve, this is Peter Quill”, Becky introduces.

So, this is the man that Becky has been dating, he’s perhaps a couple of years younger than them, dark blond short hair, not exactly styled in any particular way, green eyes, scruff and what’s beginning to look like a moustache, he’s well built and somewhat handsome; red leather jacket, blue shirt, dark blue jeans and brown boots.

“Babeeee! Star-lord, remember?” Peter huffs.

“I’m not calling you by that stupid nickname”, she shakes her head frantically.

“Wait a second, you’re Star-lord? Didn’t you had a band that always ended up fighting with each other on stage?” Bucky frowns his eyebrows.

“I like to call it technical difficulties”, Peter chuckles awkwardly.

“How did you guys called themselves, Guardians of the Universe or some shit like that?” Bucky says.

“Of the Galaxy, you remember?” Peter questions with his eyes open wide, “oh man, The Howling Commandos, you guys are awesome”, he says, “and you Steve, I want to get a tattoo of The Milano, please, can you do it, please?” he places his hands together, the tip of his index fingers against his lips.

“The Milano?” Steve wonders.

“My pride and joy, my car, of course”, Peter nods enthusiastically.

“Oh, I see”, Steve chuckles, “sure thing, call the store and make appointment”, he says politely after he reaches inside his wallet for his business card.

“Awesome!” Peter smiles looking down at the card.

***

Peter Quill, he’s not a bad guy, but his father is right, he’s a bit of an idiot but he’s not stupid either, and Bucky is right too, he doesn’t have to worry about his sister, _Peter has to worry about my sister,_ Becky is a fierce lady.

Bucky remembers him from when he used to hang out around here, Peter’s friends are an odd bunch, those people that you know who they are but didn’t had friends in common so you’ve never been introduced, that until now. And speaking of wish, Bucky spots Peter’s friends walking towards them.

“Hey guys, this is my super great band of friends”, Peter smiles.

“I’m not your friend”, the little guy says.

“I am your friend, Quill”, the bald, huge, mean looking dude nods.

“The man on the dee-jay booth said your turn is coming”, the woman adds.

“Okay so, we have Rocket and Groot right there”, Peter points.

“I am Groot!” the tall man smiles.

Bucky and Steve smile back but they exchange a side look between them, the couple, _or at least they seem a couple_ , look a bit weird, Rocket is a short and tiny hairy man, with a hat over his mid-length brunet hair with a few blond streaks, he’s wearing orange skinny jeans with one of those fake animal tails hanging from one of the loops, a black t-shirt with a black jacket over it. Groot on the other hand, is tall, _like ‘he was a giraffe or a tree on his other life’ tall_ , he has brown spikey hair, swarthy skin and really thin, wearing simple jeans, leaf green shirt and a brown jacket. Bucky can’t help to notice that he doesn’t speak too much, he just leans down and whispers things into Rocket’s ear, the little guy is practically talking for him, and if Steve notices it too, he doesn’t say anything either.

“That’s Drax”, Peter refers to the bald guy. The man has impressive musculature, _like a body builder type of thing_ , no hair on his head, a scowl on his face with piercing blue eyes, tattoos all over his arms and up to his neck; his pale blue shirt and leather pants are extremely tight.

“And that’s Gamora”, he introduces the girl. She has beautiful dark skin, deep and brown eyes that pop   under the eye-shadow on her eyelids that matches with her outfit perfectly, her hair is dyed purple fading into pink, she’s wearing a green shirt with black leather pants and jacket.

The couple smiles at them as they introduce themselves, Gamora and Drax are invested in what it looks like a heated conversation but Peter assures that everything is fine and Rocket and Groot just remain inside their little world.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Peter exclaims after he pats his pockets, “I think I left my iPod in The Milano, I hope it’s there, that thing is my life!” he panics.

“That thing is not your life, you’re an imbecil”, Drax laughs.

“Metaphors go over his head”, Peter chuckles pointing with his thumb at Drax.

“Nothing goes over my head, my reflexes are too fast”, the man says proudly.

“You are both idiots!” Gamora yells.

“Shut up, woman!” Drax says.

“Oh, you must stop”, she warns with a daring finger.

“Okay, I gotta go to my car, who’s with me?” Peter questions.

“Your car is filthy, I am not going near that thing”, Gamora shakes her head.

“I agree with her”, Becky adds with a chuckle.

“C’mon jackasses, let’s move”, Rocket says to his friends.

“You guys are staying to hear my Awesome Mix. Vol. 1, right?” Peter asks Bucky and Steve.

“I guess”, Bucky shrugs casually and Steve offers a small smile.

With that, the bunch walk away after Peter but Becky stays behind, “well, that was something”, Steve chuckles.

“They’re weird”, Bucky laughs, “What’s their story anyway?” he wonders.

“I don’t know much, but Rocket and Groot have always been like that, they’ve been together since forever, Groot has a problem speaking past his name and Rocket talks for him, I think he’s the only one that understands him”, Becky says, “Drax has anger issues and Gamora is a bit more complex, she does martial arts and she’s pretty badass, Peter and her used to have a thing, she had a really tough childhood, something about an evil step-father”, she explains.

“You have such strange friends”, Bucky laughs.

“And you haven’t met the ones from school”, she giggles.

“Those aren’t their real names, right?” Steve chuckles.

“I don’t even know their real names”, his sister says.

“Don’t you think that Drax looks a bit like Batista?” Bucky jokes and his boyfriend and Becky burst out in laughter.

“Yeah, a lot actually”, Steve nods.

“A bald Batista”, Becky chuckles.

“Becky, why do you go out with Peter?” Bucky asks.

“He’s funny”, she shrugs.

“That’s just bullshit!” he insists.

“You want the truth?” she questions and he nods, “we have good sex”, she smirks.

“Oh, c’mon!” he whines.

“Baby, you did asked for the truth”, Steve chuckles.

“I changed my mind, lie to me”, he pretends to cry leaning on his boyfriend’s shoulder for support.

“It’s just a physical thing, okay? We’re friends with benefits if you need to put a label on it”, she says.

“Listen, I just want you to be careful, don’t get too invested”, Bucky shakes his head.

“I know and I won’t, I have a lot of things going on, school and work, I’m not interested in a relationship right now, but I have needs too”, she explains, “you from all people should know that and because I respect Steve I won’t say anything”, Becky looks between him and his boyfriend, “or do you want me to remind you?” she crosses her arms over her chest defensively.

“No, Becky, I understand what you mean, I’m not judging you here, I know you take care of yourself and you know what you’re going, but I’m your brother, I want you to be safe, kiddo, that’s all”, he shakes his head and smiles softly.

“Are you being serious?” she wonders narrowing her eyes.

“Of course I am”, he nods.

“Okay”, Becky whispers looking down at her hands.

“Are we good?” he questions and she nods, her sister takes a step forward to place her arms around his waist, he puts his right arm on her back to return the hug.

“Thanks”, the girl smiles.

“Anytime”, Bucky smirks back.

***

“I’m sorry”, Bucky says as soon as Becky leaves when a few people are calling for her near the stage, right after the last band finishes their set, the soft music playing on the speakers again until it’s time for ‘Star-lord’ to take over.

“What for?” Steve wonders.

“You know, for what she said”, Bucky sighs, “I did a lot of things before, or people better said”, he laughs awkwardly.

“Bucky, I might be clueless about some stuff but I’m not stupid, I can tell about one or two things”, Steve says.

“I don’t think you’re stupid or clueless”, Bucky shakes his head looking down at the floor until he tilts his head up to look at Steve, his teeth fiddling with his lip piercing, “but aren’t you mad or I don’t know… worried?” he wonders.

“Should I?” he asks.

“No, not at all”, Bucky shakes his head again, “those are things that happened in the past, a long time ago, I swear”, he nods placing his hands on Steve’s hips.

“And that’s what makes you who you are, this is how I met you, I’m not going to be mad at you for being yourself, they happened before we met and even if they didn’t that’s fine too”, Steve says rubbing his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“Yeah but I don’t want you think that I’m gonna go looking for someone else, or that you’re not enough, you’re so much more that I could ever ask for, I’ve told you before”, Bucky leans forward and places a small kiss on the corner of Steve’s mouth.

 _Great_ , now he wants to cry, in the middle of a _fucking_ bar.

This is all Steve’s fault really, all this time that he’s been a friend with Bucky his insecurities have been crawling under his skin even more than usual but he has been trying to keep them in check. They don’t have anything to do with Bucky, _or maybe a little_ , it’s because he doesn’t want to lose him, Steve doesn’t want to be away from him, but Bucky also has helped him a lot with that. Steve knows and believes he’s really there for him, the brunet has done so many good things, even more than he could think of and Steve wants to be good for him too, actually, he doesn’t know how not to. Everything has become overwhelming in such a short period of time, but he’s learning how to deal with things.

Of course that Bucky has noticed that Steve has a few issues and he’s put up with them since the beginning, supporting Steve and assuring him that it’s okay to feel the way he does, he’s been nothing but patient and understanding and Steve wants to be good not only for his boyfriend but also for himself, just like Bucky said the night before, he makes him want to be a better person.

“Baby, it’s okay”, Steve cups his boyfriend’s face with his hands, “I’m okay”, he assures looking into Bucky’s eyes.

“You’re my boyfriend, just mine, like I’m just yours”, Bucky says.

“Yes”, Steve nods smiling.

“Say it”, Bucky demands squeezing Steve’s hips.

“You’re mine and I’m yours”, Steve kisses the tip of his boyfriend’s nose before he embraces him into a tight hug.

From there, everything goes on smoothly for a few minutes, a lot of people cheer when Peter’s voice sounds on the speakers announcing his famous Awesome Mix. Vol. 1 playlist, like the guy calls it. The set list is actually really enjoyable, fun and danceable, not too loud so you can still talk. For a minute Steve thought that Bucky was going to start dancing since he’s moving a little on his place, with another beer on his hand, _I already lost track_ , but they keep chatting with a few people that Bucky runs into.

Then, Steve turns to the bar and spots Becky who’s laughing along with some friends; Steve takes a deep breath when he sees a peculiar face near her. Slick and shiny short black hair, pointy ears, sharp eyebrows and strong jaw with a mischievous smile on his lips, wide shoulders, dressed in all black.

“Bucky, isn’t that your friend?” Steve tilts to the side and whispers into his boyfriend’s ear with a nod towards the bar.

“Who?” Bucky questions.

“There, close to your sister”, Steve nods again.

Bucky narrows his eyes as he tiptoes to take a better look, “oh, yes!” he says before he starts walking past Steve. The blond stands there awkwardly and looks after his boyfriend, Bucky turns around after a couple of steps when he must have noticed that Steve wasn’t walking after him, “c’mon, boyfriend!” Bucky smiles and grabs Steve’s wrist to drag him through the room, Steve chuckles a bit as he continues to move his feet.

“Hey, fish!” Bucky yells when they get closer.

“Namor does not speak to peasants”, the man crosses his arms over his chest.

_Who the hell speaks about themselves in third person?_

“Well, tell Namor he’s an idiot”, Bucky chuckles, “why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be in town?” he questions.

“Namor does as he pleases”, the guy laughs.

“No, you don’t, your parents made you”, Bucky giggles.

“Uuugh, yes”, he huffs, “how are you, Bucky?” the man questions.

“I’m great”, he nods, “this is my boyfriend, St-…” Bucky starts but the man interferes with a hand on the air.

“The famous Steve Rogers, finally”, the guy offers his hand. Steve takes it and shakes it once, both of them with a strong grip, “Namor McKenzie”, he adds.

“Nice to meet you”, Steve says.

“My comrade here won’t shush his mouth about you”, Namor teases, Steve looks to the side and smirks at Bucky, Steve notices the brunet’s cheeks are a little rosy even though the light is really dim inside, his micro-dermals shinning against his skin.

“Anywayyyyyyyy, how’s it going?” Bucky asks.

“Fantastic, I’m traveling with my team next year”, he nods.

“That’s great”, Bucky says, “he does Water Polo professionally”, his boyfriend explains.

“Oh, that’s cool, Bucky mentioned you’re a swimmer”, Steve comments.

“That is correct”, Namor takes the last zip of his colorful drink before he calls for the bartender, “fancy a drink?” he questions.

“No, thank you”, Steve shakes his head.

“If you insist”, Bucky shrugs casually and Steve chuckles when the brunet winks at him.

***

“Have you ever done a tattoo on the genital region?” Namor questions.

“No actually, I can’t say I have”, Steve laughs warmly.

The night has been going better than Bucky ever imagined, he didn’t expected to see his friend here but it turned out to be great, he wanted Steve to know him, to see that Namor has nothing on him, _not even close_.

They end up taking a table on a corner and Bucky sits on a stool next to Steve and Namor across from him, his friend has been ordering drinks for the both of them while Steve devours the nachos that are suppose to be for everyone, not like they care anyway. And now Bucky’s on his way of getting drunk, surrounded by empty bottles of beer and shot glasses while his boyfriend talks to Namor about weird tattoo requests after Bucky mentioned he did a piercing on a guy’s penis and the man wouldn’t stop crying, _priceless_.

“Okay but… would you do it? Isn’t it weird?” Bucky wonders.

“I guess I would, normally I won’t object on the position the customer wants to put the tattoo unless it interferes with the design”, Steve says, “but I do try to persuade them if they want something on their face or hands, somewhere too visible, you know?” he adds.

“How come? Interferes with the design?” Namor questions leaning back on his seat and placing his arm across the empty space next to him.

“Okay, you like to swim, the ocean and what not, right?” Steve says and Namor nods before he takes a long sip of his drink, “let’s say you come to me to get a tattoo of something that symbolizes water, something abstract and you want to get it on your abdomen”, the blond suggests, “for me, as an artist, the correct thing to do would be try to talk to you into doing something more concrete in that area or put it somewhere else in your body that won’t change so much during the years so you won’t end up with just a stain of ink on your stomach when you’re older”, Steve explains.

“I see, that makes sense”, Namor hums.

“And when do you say no to a tattoo?” Bucky asks.

“I try not to judge people requests because each of them have their own meaning but I won’t do a swastika on your forehead, something that relates you to the KKK or that sort of symbolism, also I won’t do a design doesn’t makes sense”, Steve shakes his head.

“What do you mean?” he questions.

“Tattoos are a form of expression, right? That’s what makes them art, I might not put my signature on it but my name is also at stake every time I put ink on a person’s body and I want them to look at their piece and feel proud of it, it’s going to be there forever and that’s why they have to choose wisely and if I can help, I’m happy to do it”, Steve offers a tiny smile.

 _The sweetest smile,_ and Bucky is losing his mind but Steve looks even more handsome than ever, it can be the dim lights and the way they make his eyes sparkle and his cheeks blush, or the alcohol.

_It might be the alcohol._

Or the fact that he is so in love with this man.

“And an example of a bad design?” Namor asks.

“Continuing with the same subject, if you ask me to do an anchor”, Steve shrugs a shoulder, “now that they’re trendy”, he adds with a giggle, “but you want it with a banner underneath that’s gonna say ‘Never Sink’, I won’t do that”, his boyfriend shakes his head.

“Why?” Bucky wonders.

“Because anchors are heavy for a reason, they are meant to sink, to hold you in place”, he says, “I’ll do it with a different phrase, or if you care more about the words then another design, or maybe you’re trying to be sarcastic which I won’t encourage either”, the blond chuckles.

“You’re really smart”, Bucky smiles _idiotically_.

“It’s not rocket science but it’s my job to think about that sort of things”, he giggles, a sound that makes Bucky feel like he’s dreaming, _maybe I am_.

“I knew I would like you”, Namor nods at his boyfriend.

“I like you too, did I ever told you I think you’re really handsome?” Bucky smirks at Steve.

“Bucky”, Steve whispers and Namor chuckles.

“No really, you’re so fucking hot that ugghhhh”, he grunts, “I just want to eat you”, Bucky says.

“Buckyyyyy!” Steve whines.

“And that is my call”, Namor says standing up.

“That’s right”, Bucky giggles, “wait, don’t go, you’re so cool”, he adds trying not to sound sarcastic at all. _Not!_

“It was nice to finally meet you, Steve Rogers”, Namor offers his hand.

“You’re really leaving?” Steve questions but shakes the man’s hand anyway.

“I am joining that woman over there that caught my attention a while ago”, his friend points towards the center of the room.

“Always the ladies man, go already!” Bucky chuckles.

“Bucky, don’t be rude”, Steve says.

“That means you are leading with a drunk tonight, I feel for you”, Namor smirks.

“I’m not drunk!” Bucky yells at the same time he leans forward and moves the table causing a few bottles to stumble, thankfully any of them fall, “maybe a little”, he giggles.

“Here, have my card, you are a good man, Steve Rogers”, Namor comments, Steve reaches for his wallet and exchanges his card as well.

“Thank you”, Steve nods.

“Good night, Bucky”, his friend says.

“Good night, Namor. Goodbye, Namor!” Bucky laughs.

His friend waves one last time before he walks away and Bucky is left alone with his boyfriend again, _my boyfriend, Steve Rogers_. Bucky sighs once before he takes the one last sip of his beer, when he finally swallows the liquid he hiccups and starts giggling again.

“Are you okay there?” Steve questions.

“I want another one”, he shakes the empty bottle in the air against Steve’s face.

“Noup, no more alcohol for you tonight, you want water?” Steve holds Bucky’s wrist gently to put down the empty bottle back on the table.

“No water”, he shakes his head quickly, _big mistake_ , “you know want I want?” Bucky wiggles his eyebrows.

***

“What?” Steve asks.

Bucky leans to the side and kisses Steve’s neck, right under his ear, “I want you”, he whispers, “I want you so bad”, he places a hand on Steve’s thigh and squeezes.

_Oh boy! Did I really had to ask?_

“Bucky, are you sure you don’t want to drink some water?” Steve asks awkwardly, trying to change the subject. He places his hand over Bucky’s when he feels his boyfriend is starting to move it towards a particular area that Steve doesn’t want to be touched right now. Steve pushes his water bottle towards the brunet’s hand, “c’mon, drink up, baby”, Steve says.

“I don’t like water”, Bucky huffs while he struggles trying to open the bottle.

Steve chuckles at his boyfriend’s clumsiness and takes the bottle from him to open it, he places it on his hand again when he gets rid of the little plastic lid, “that’s a bummer, you really need water to live”, Steve smirks.

“Hey, are you guys…ooohhhh”, Becky laughs, “he’s drunk”, she giggles, “I was coming here to see if you were ready to leave, I guess you are”, she shrugs a shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave, I want to hang out with my boyfrieeeeeeend!” Bucky yells.

“We can hang out anytime you want, but I’m a bit tired”, Steve tells him, “let’s go, please”, Steve nods with his eyes wide open and Becky laughs some more.

When they finally manage to drag Bucky out of the bar, after he was trying to say goodbye to half of the people in the place, Steve walks besides him with the brunet leaning on his side, Steve’s hand wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist to prevent him from tripping with his own feet. Getting him into the car isn’t so bad although Bucky whined he wanted to ride in the front seat with the window down, Becky asks him to stay in the back since she wants to have a more coherent co-pilot and not freeze to death with the cold wind of the night.

Bucky stays quiet for most of the ride and Steve just checks back over his shoulder, asking him to drink more water, the brunet complains but takes the bottle anyway and giggles a few times when he spills some water over himself every time that Becky stops on a traffic light. Steve helps Bucky out of the car since he’s complaining that he doesn’t want to walk, Becky opens the door for them and from the moment they get inside Bucky kneels with his arms wide open.

“Doggies!” he yells at Captain and Cosmo, the dogs run towards him and he holds them against his body.

“Baby, don’t yell, everybody is sleeping”, Steve whispers.

“Guys, I’m going to bed, I’m beat”, Becky says.

“Okay, have a good night”, he nods.

“Sweet dreams, Becks!” Bucky yells again.

“Bucky, be easy on him”, she demands to his brother, “and you, good luck”, she pats Steve’s shoulder before she walks away.

His boyfriend wants to take the dogs upstairs to sleep with them in case they get cold, and Steve doesn’t mind but he imagines that it isn’t such a great idea since the both of them barely fit in Bucky’s bed. Going to the upper floor isn’t that hard since Steve practically carries Bucky upstairs and straight to the bathroom, Bucky says he needs to go but he can’t even unbuckle his belt, Steve helps with that too, he makes Bucky wash his hands and teeth before they finally make it to the bedroom, the brunet giggling when Steve asks him not to be so loud or try to keep his hands to himself.

After Steve closes the door behind him and turns on the light, he moves around to face his boyfriend, Bucky launches his arms at Steve’s waist, one hand down his ass and the brunet’s mouth on his neck.

“Bucky, we gotta go to sleep”, Steve says.

“I want sex, you’re hot”, Bucky whispers against his skin.

Steve sighs and tries to concentrate in something to say instead on Bucky’s right hand squeezing his ass-cheek while he nibbles Steve’s earlobe, “we had sex yesterday”, Steve reminds.

“Again!” Bucky demands, “fuck me”, he adds as he continues to grope Steve’s ass.

“Buck, please”, Steve places his hands on Bucky’s shoulders and tries to push him gently, at least to make him stop sucking Steve’s neck, “I normally won’t deny sex to you but we’re not doing this while you’re drunk”, he says.

“Whyyyyy?” Bucky huffs crossing his hands over his chest, pouting dramatically.

“Because I want you to be aware of what’s happening, I want you to remember”, Steve rubs his hands against his boyfriend’s arms, “it would be like taking advantage of you, it’s rude and disrespectful”, he comments.

Bucky sighs when he realizes he isn’t going to get what he wants, Steve isn’t going to give in to something like this, _it’s not right_ , Bucky gets rid of his jacket and shirt and tosses on the bed as he struggles to take off his shoulder brace, “I’m not tired”, he huffs.

“C’mon, let’s get you comfortable”, Steve says reaching for the button and fly of his boyfriend’s jeans one last time, he takes off his boots and then his pants with no struggle, “do you want pj’s?” he questions.

“No, pants shouldn’t exists”, he grunts, “wait, what if I get cold?” Bucky reconsiders.

“I’ll hug you”, Steve shrugs, “now get inside the covers”, Steve instructs, he turns on the light on the nightstand next to Bucky and then turns off the main light before he goes to put Bucky’s clothes away and change into his pajamas.

“I was drunk the first time I had sex with Brock”, Bucky comments all the sudden.

Steve stops what he’s doing and leaves Bucky’s jeans on top of his duffle bag before he turns around and looks over to the bed to see that Bucky is already buried inside the blankets as Steve told him, “he was drunk too?” The blond wonders.

“I don’t know, I don’t think so”, he says, “I don’t remember much, but I do know it it hurt a lot”, Bucky nods looking down at his hands that are playing with a loose tread on the edge of the blanket, “you don’t want to hurt me, right?” Bucky asks.

He’s trying really hard to keep his breath under control, but how can he? He wants to punch Brock all over again, to smash his face against the hard concrete, and if there’s ever a next time, he won’t hold back even if that means spending the rest of his life in jail. Steve wants to make him pay for everything he made Bucky suffer, _it’s not fair_ , taking advantage of someone in any way, trying to bend them until they break, just to think about it makes Steve’s insides feel on fire, _not a good one_ , “no, I don’t”, Steve answers angrily, “I’ll be right back”, he says walking to the door.

“Kiss me”, Bucky demands.

“I’m going to the bathroom”, he answers plainly.

Steve goes across the hall after he finishes changing his clothes, he washes his teeth and splatters some water over his face, he rubs his eyes with the heel of his hands and blinks a few times until his vision is clear of white spots, Steve looks at himself in the mirror for a few seconds and takes a few deep breaths trying to calm his temper, or he’s probably going to end up smashing his fist on the wall or door. He spends more than a few minutes inside the bathroom, taking deep breaths while he sits on the closed lid of the toilet, his head resting on the heals of his hands.

The blond soothes his anger trying to replace it with good thoughts, he’s here with Bucky, his boyfriend, who’s safe in the other room, he has a family and friends that love him, he can count on Steve if he wants help, Steve is there for anything he needs him.

“You think I’m disgusting and that’s why you don’t want to kiss me”, Bucky huffs as soon as Steve enters the room.

“What?!” Steve asks in surprise.

“Yeah, you’re straight edge and I’m just here wasted and trashed”, he sighs sadly.

“No”, Steve shakes his head; he walks towards the bed and sits down next to Bucky, looking down at him, “You could be puking your insides out in the bathroom floor and I still wouldn’t think you’re disgusting”, he says locking a strand of Bucky’s hair behind his ear.

***

_Idiot!_

Bucky is not so drunk anymore, at least he can form full sentences, and he shouldn’t have said anything about Brock, just by the mention of the guy’s name his boyfriend flinched, could be disappointment or dislike, Bucky’s not sure, but when he told Steve to kiss him, the blond just flew out of the room with rage on his eyes and his hands tightly closed with knuckles white. Bucky is not sure how much time has passed but it helped a lot. When Steve came back, he looked more like himself and Bucky just asked the first thing that came to his mind. He knew he shouldn’t have drank that much, beer doesn’t do much to him but it was those shots that Namor kept handing him, _the bastard,_ and after all, this is the first time that Steve has to deal with him being drunk.

“Really?” Bucky wonders in surprise looking up at his boyfriend.

But the blond doesn’t answer, instead, he places a hand on the side of his neck and leans forward to put his lips against Bucky’s, pressing the brunet’s head against the pillow under him, Bucky opens his mouth right away to let Steve linger inside, he sucks Bucky’s lower lip into his mouth and fiddles with his piercing.

Bucky moans against is boyfriend’s hot and wet mouth as the blond takes over the kiss possessively, Steve turns his head from side to side and Bucky just lies there returning the kiss with his fists closed on the fabric of the duvet. He’s glad he isn’t standing up or his knees would have given up seconds ago when Steve grabbed Bucky’s head with both of his hands while he kept fucking his mouth with his tongue, biting his lip and humming on the back of his throat.

When they finally part gasping for air, Bucky chuckles at the thought of Steve Rogers making him hard just by kissing him, _who would have thought?_ He sighs happily when Steve leans again and plants a small kiss on his lips and smiles at him.

“Do you need another kiss or did I made myself clear?” Steve smirks.

“No, I don’t want a boner right now”, Bucky laughs.

“Alright”, Steve stands up proudly and Bucky follows him with his eyes as the blond goes to the other side of the bed to take his place next to him, “how are you feeling?” he asks as he settles down.

“Drunk, but no so much”, Bucky chuckles.

“That’s good”, the blond says before he gets into a more comfortable position, “now sleep”, he hums.

“Fineeee”, Bucky huffs but he leans to the side to turn off the light anyway.

Bucky is laying on his back staring up at the ceiling trying to accustom his eyes to the darkness of the room and Steve is on his side with his back to him, he smiles _idiotically_ placing two fingers over his mouth where he can still feel the ghost of Steve’s lips against his.

He stays like that for what it seems to be an eternity, he can hear Steve’s breathing but it isn’t as loud or deep like it is when he’s asleep and Bucky is felling restless. His mouth doesn’t taste so bad but he can still feel the alcohol on the back of his throat and the happy events of the evening replaying on his mind.

“Steve”, he whispers with his head turn to the side to see if his boyfriend reacts.

“What is it?” he questions looking back over his shoulder.

“I’m not tired”, he giggles.

“Just try to get some sleep”, Steve says.

“But I can’t”, Bucky huffs.

Steve let out a tired and long sigh but he doesn’t say anything, it makes Bucky wonder if he’s being too annoying. If this was Brock, Bucky would be down on the couch with a new bruise on his arm, or outside on the street with his ass freezing in the middle of the night on his way back home, but this isn’t Brock, this is Steve, his Steve.

“Turn around”, Steve shifts on his place until he’s no lying on his other side, this time facing Bucky.

“Why?” Bucky wonders in curiosity.

“C’mon baby, just do it”, Steve offers a small smile, “face down”, he instructs.

Bucky doesn’t ask again and does as told, turning around facing the other way, his left arm spread on the middle of the bed between them and the right one fold over his head, the pillow forgotten somewhere on the floor, “Now what?” Bucky asks.

“Take deep breaths, in from your nose and out from your mouth”, the blond says.

Steve moves the blankets down to his waist and Bucky feels a bit cold since he isn’t wearing anything but his boxer briefs, the blond places his hand in the middle of Bucky’s back and he shivers, feeling goosebumps from the skin to skin contact, Steve’s hand strong and warm against him. His boyfriend begins to move his hand up and down, rubbing it from his lower back to his neck, his smooth and gentle touch sending Bucky to a state of calmness at last.

“Does it feel good?” Steve questions.

“Mmhm”, Bucky hums nodding.

“My mom used to do this when I was sick”, Steve comments.

“That’s why you sleep with your chest down”, Bucky mutters.

“I guess”, Steve says.

He concentrates to breathe as Steve told him until he feels more relaxed, and he starts making noises on the back of his throat while Steve alternates his movements, long strokes with his palms, a bit more pressure with his fingertips and soft scratches with his nails and Bucky continues to melt under his boyfriend’s touch, his eyelids heavy and his body lax.

“Are you humming ‘Once Upon a Dream’?” Steve asks.

“Maybe”, he smirks with his eyes closed, more to himself since Steve can’t see his face.

“I’ve never been to Disney World, or Disneyland for that matter”, his boyfriend says.

“I’ll take you one day, I promise”, Bucky announces.

Bucky smiles again when he senses Steve kissing the back of his left shoulder, right over his scars like he always does, “are you cold?” Steve whispers.

“A little”, he sighs.

Steve shifts a bit so he’s closer to Bucky and moves the blanket over his back again, the last thing Bucky remembers before falling asleep is his boyfriend’s arm wrapped around his waist like he said he would hug him if he got cold, the blond’s breath warm and soothing against the back of Bucky’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to all of you who remain patient with the story and my weird uploading schedule, I haven't abandon you, I promise, I love you! :D
> 
> I hope you liked the cameos and all, one more chapter and our boys will be back in Brooklyn c:
> 
> Remember, I love hearing from you, I enjoy reading your comments and suggestions, don't be shy ;) Thanks to everyone that has been wishing me to do well with my classes and exams, it means a lot. Have a nice week! 
> 
> xxoo


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to upload this first thing Monday morning but it just wasn't a good day, sorry about that, but as they say, better late than never, so here it is :D

Steve wakes up with Bucky’s hair tickling his nose, they are in the same position they fell asleep, Steve spooning Bucky with his right arm tight around him. He smiles before he loosens his grip around his boyfriend, carefully trying not to wake him up, but that isn’t a problem since Bucky is deep asleep.

He stands up and checks the time on his phone, it reads it’s seven fifteen and he also notices he has a couple of unread messages along with a few Facebook notifications, he puts his phone on the pocket of his pants and heads downstairs to drink some water. As he gets down, he hears soft noises coming from the kitchen, Becky is already sitting around the table with her face buried on her computer screen and Bucky’s mother is cooking something over by the stove.

“Good morning”, he greets.

“Hey there”, Winnie smiles.

“You survived a night with drunken Bucky”, Becky chuckles.

“Yeah, it wasn’t that bad”, he smirks.

“Hey mom, I didn’t told you, Namor was there last night”, she says.

“Oh really? How is he?” the older woman questions looking back over her shoulder.

“Still a douche bag”, she laughs, “but yeah, he said hi”, Becky adds, “his parents live here again, he gave me his mother’s number for you to call her”, she comments.

“Okay, I will”, she nods.

“Have you met him before?” Becky questions him.

“No, just in pictures”, Steve shakes his head.

“And what did you thought about him?” she questions as she types on the keyboard without looking.

“Um, I don’t know, he speaks funny”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, he thinks he’s high society or some bullshit”, she laughs.

“Well, he’s not so bad”, Steve shrugs a shoulder.

“At the beginning, Bucky and him weren’t good friends, they kinda grew on each other I suppose, he’s a whore”, Becky laughs.

“Rebecca, don’t use that word”, Winnie says.

“C’mon mom, it’s the truth!” she chuckles, “he tried to hit on me the first time I met him”, Becky whines before she begins to do noises like she’s going to throw up.

“Well, you’re beautiful”, Bucky’s mother says with a chuckle.

“Ma’, I was thirteen for fuck sakes, he tried to hit on you too!” Becky says.

“Really?” Steve questions.

“Yeah, he doesn’t have a filter”, Winnie shakes her head, “but he’s been a good friend to your brother”, she says kindly.

“Bucky was always the black sheep along his friends, Namor was of course really popular and never judged Bucky, it helped a lot because he hung out with the cool people, you know how high school years are”, Becky chuckles.

“I noticed he has a weird sense of humor but that’s okay, I didn’t know what to expect at the beginning”, he shakes his head.

“He’s a handful for sure”, the girl nods, “but you should meet Toro and Jim, they’re also Bucky’s friends from that time, high school sweethearts and they’re married now, they’re really nice, nothing to do with Namor”, she giggles.

“How are they by the way?” Winnie wonders.

“Fine, I think they’re planning to adopt”, Becky says.

“Oh, that’s amazing”, Bucky’s mother nods.

“Yeah, and you Steve, when are you planning to propose?” Becky smirks teasingly.

Steve can’t help but turn red, his cheeks hot and his neck flushed at Becky’s suggestion, he doesn’t even have a week being Bucky’s boyfriend and there are mentions of marriage coming from his family, Steve hasn’t even told Bucky he loves him, he’s too scared to do it, he’s even terrified to say it out loud to himself. Everything has happened so fast and he’s now sitting next to Bucky’s sister talking about weddings and family. He wants to duck under the table and hide his blush although he knows he can’t lie about his feelings for Bucky.

“Rebeccaaaaaaa”, Winnie singsongs.

“Jeez, I’m just kidding”, she says, “but I hope you want children, cause’ my brother does”, Becky winks at him.

***

Bucky stretches his arms over his head as soon as he opens his eyes, he stands up and runs to the bathroom and returns to the bed quickly, he isn’t too hung over since he didn’t drank so much heavy alcohol and it was mostly beer, also thankfully Steve made him drink a lot of water before he went to bed the night before.

He has a mild headache but a big smile on his face, the one that grows impossibly wider as soon as he sees his _gorgeous_ boyfriend entering the room with a tray on his hands.

“Morning, how are you feeling?” Steve smiles wide.

_Oh God, let me have him forever._

“Hi, I’m not so bad”, he says.

“I brought you this”, the blond shrugs a shoulder.

Bucky moves to sit down, his body propped on the heels of his hands as he leans backward to rest against the headboard, placing a pillow between his skin and the cold surface. Steve walks towards him and sits down facing Bucky, placing the tray over his legs, the brunet looks down at it and smiles, there’s two slices of toast on the plate with _a ton_ of jelly spread on it just like he loves it, a glass of water, another glass with milk and two white pills over a napkin.

“Your mom is cooking breakfast and she said it might take a while so I figured this would help a bit, also aspirins”, Steve nods towards the tray.

“Have I ever told you that you’re amazing? Because you are”, Bucky leans forward a kisses Steve’s cheek before he puts the pills in his mouth and swallows them with a big gulp of water, the blond’s face blushes a bit at the compliment.

“I try”, Steve smiles shyly scratching the back of his head.

“That’s the thing, sweetheart, you don’t even have to try”, Bucky says before another kiss, he takes a big bite of the toast and waits until he swallows everything to speak again, “is everyone up?” he questions.

“I just saw your sister and mother”, he nods, “hey, is it true that Namor tried to hit on them?” Steve chuckles.

“Oh yes, he’s awful like that, Becky mentioned it, right?” he says, “What else did she told you?” he questions as he continues to devour the piece of bread.

“Not much, that aside from that he’s a good friend, also something about two other friends of yours”, Steve comments.

“Must have been Toro and Jim”, Bucky says before he takes a sip of milk.

“Yeah, them”, he nods.

“You’ve met Jim, you did a phoenix tattoo on him”, Bucky says.

“I do remember a Jim with a phoenix tattoo, his parents live in Brooklyn, right? Isn’t his husband’s name Thomas?” Steve questions.

“Yeah, we call him Toro”, Bucky shrugs a shoulder as he bites the last piece of his toast.

“What a small world”, Steve hums.

“Yes”, Bucky smirks, “listen, I want to apologize about last night”, he sighs.

“What for?” Steve asks.

“I shouldn’t have drank so much”, Bucky says.

“It’s okay, baby, I don’t mind, you were having fun and that’s okay”, he smiles.

“Yeah but I tend to over-share a lot when I’m drunk”, Bucky places the tray next to him on the bed and looks down at his hands over his lap, “I also shouldn’t have mentioned that thing about Brock”, he bites down his lower lip nervously.

“Bucky, look at me”, Steve places a hand over his, Bucky does as his boyfriend asks and looks up at his face, “I don’t think it was over-sharing, if you want to talk about these things you can tell me, I’m here for you, just like you listen to me”, he grabs Bucky’s right hand and places a soft kiss on the brunet’s knuckles.

“Okay”, he whispers, “can I ask you something?” he wonders.

“Sure”, Steve nods.

“What happened between you and Brock?” he questions, “I instantly put two and two together when I saw you and remembered that Sam said Brock was in the hospital after a fight but we never talked about it”, he adds.

“It’s not important, what matters is that he’s not around anymore”, Steve shakes his head.

“It is important to me, Stevie, please”, Bucky says.

“I found him fighting with a teenager in an alley, I wasn’t going to fight him, you told me back at Coney that it wasn’t worth it, but you are worth it to me, baby”, he sighs and Bucky squeezes Steve’s hand but lets him continue, “I turned around and he begun to say really bad things about you, then he mocked me and said everybody pushed me around, that I’m too good to do something about it and that I’m pathetic”, Steve huffs.

“You are not pathetic, you’re not”, Bucky shakes his head.

“Then he said this awful thing and he pushed me from the back, that’s when all went down, I wasn’t going to walk away, I was so angry and frustrated, it wasn’t because I was trying to defend your honor or anything, I know you don’t need to be saved, you told me, but I’ve had enough”, Steve explains, Bucky sees a lonely tear falling down Steve’s cheek and leans forward to wipe it away with his thumb before he kisses the corner of Steve’s mouth.

***

“I know, sweetie, I know”, Bucky nods, “what did he said exactly?” Bucky wonders.

“Do you really wanna know?” Steve questions and Bucky nods slowly.

Steve remembers those words like it was yesterday; he hasn’t talked the details about his fight with Brock with anyone, even though Steve doesn’t want him to know what Brock said, Bucky deserves an explanation.

After he takes a couple of deep breaths and sighs deeply, he opens his mouth again, “he was yelling me to fight him, he called me a pussy behind my back”, Steve is breathing in and out of his nose loudly trying to keep his temper under control, “he also said that since I didn’t had the balls to do anything he was going to…” Steve sighs again and Bucky rubs his hand against his forearm soothingly, “that he was going to fuck you so hard that you weren’t going to be able to sit for a week and that he was going to make you scream my name while he did it”, Steve looks down at his lap, Bucky’s hand goes still over his arm but then he squeezes again, a tiny gesture reassuring him that he’s fine.

“He pushed me from the back against the wall, the coward, then he choked me and I just lost it”, Steve shakes his head.

“Steve”, Bucky whispers, the blond looks up to see the softness on Bucky’s face, his eyes watery and wide open, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry you had to hear those things but I want you to know that I’m thankful to have you in my life and I’m glad he won’t be bothering anymore or at least he’ll think about it twice”, the brunet nods placing his hand over Steve’s.

Steve smiles at him and leans forward to hold Bucky in his arms, he kisses the top of his boyfriend’s head as he sniffs into his shirt, the blond rubbing his hand across his back, Bucky’s arms wrapped around Steve’s body tightly, “are you okay?” Steve questions.

“Never been better”, Bucky smirks whipping away a few tears from his face with the back of his forearm, “one thing though”, he says.

“Anything”, Steve nods.

“You gotta stop fighting my fights”, Bucky laughs.

“You used to do it for me back in the day for me, remember? I figured it was my turn”, Steve smiles wide.

“You’re such a punk, you know that?” Bucky chuckles warmly.

“Jerk”, Steve kisses the tip of Bucky’s nose and the brunet giggles.

***

“Now it’s my turn”, Bucky whispers.

“Your turn?” Steve wonders in confusion.

“You can ask me anything, about Brock and me, what we had”, he says, “or didn’t had”, the brunet adds bitterly.

“Hey, I didn’t told you because I expected something in return”, Steve shakes his head.

“I know, Stevie, but if we’re gonna do this you have a right to know what happened, I wanna tell you everything”, Bucky nods, “just like I want to know everything about you, what you want to tell me, of course”, he adds.

“Well, you pretty much know all there is about me”, Steve chuckles looking down at his hands.

“That is so not true”, Bucky squeezes one of Steve’s hands, the blond looks up and Bucky offers a smile, “so, ask away”, he encourages.

“About last night, you said, umm…” Steve sighs deeply, “did Rumlow ever…” he swallows loudly before he continues, “did he ever forced you to do something you didn’t want to?” his boyfriend asks, all seriousness in his voice and a frown on his forehead.

“I… I can’t say he did, not exactly”, Bucky shakes his head, “you must think I’m so stupid for getting involve with someone like him”, he huffs heavily.

“If you really believe that’s what I think of you, then you don’t know me at all”, Steve smirks, he leans forward and runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair, “I’ll never think you’re stupid, no matter what”, he whispers before he pecks Bucky’s forehead.

The brunet smiles before he continues, “at the beginning we just fooled around, it was mostly physical, he was charming and smooth, it was fun and I liked the attention, he made me feel wanted, I was reckless and impulsive, I still am, but…” Bucky takes a deep breath and Steve rubs his forearm to encourage him to keep going and so he does after a long sigh, “I started having feelings for him and everything changed, he didn’t want anything serious and then he completely ignored me but at the same time he’ll get possessive and wouldn’t let me see anyone else, not even my friends or family”, Bucky shakes his head, his mouth feeling dry all the sudden. Steve stays there without saying a word looking at him closely, he has his hand on top of Bucky’s, a reassurance that he’s listening.

“He’s a scumbag, a manipulative and abusive asshole that only thinks about himself”, he huffs, Bucky can feel the tears gathering inside his throat, his eyes are watery again and tongue heavy in his mouth, “he always got mad for no reason and blamed it on me, he hit me a few times and I was so invested in what we had that I was too dumb to even react”, Bucky can feel tears falling down his cheeks, he sniffs a few times and looks up when Steve rubs his thumb against his skin, drying away those tears, “I’ve always known he’s mean, he’s bad and hurtful but a deep part inside of me didn’t want to leave, I was tired of feeling alone”, he sniffs one more time before more tears start to fall, Steve moves closer to him, dragging Bucky towards him to hold him until he’s practically sitting on his lap.

“Baby, you don’t have to justify anything”, Steve kisses Bucky’s cheek sweetly and he melts into the warm touch while Steve holds him tightly, “everything he said, all the things he did to you, any of it, it isn’t your fault, you know that, right?” Steve says and Bucky nods.

***

If Steve ever felt bad for sending Brock to the hospital, this moment, right here, is exactly what he needed to know he made the right decision, in fact he wants to do it over and over again, Brock Rumlow has to pay for all the pain he’s caused. Seeing and hearing Bucky crying likes this, listening to his words trying to explain what that man did to him makes Steve’s heart ache, his blood is boiling and his insides turning, he feels impotent and mad, he wants to go back in time and do something about it but he can’t. What he can do is push those feelings aside and hold his boyfriend, support him and love him like he deserves, listen and be there for him.

_That’s exactly what I plan to do._

“Ironically, I’ve never been more alone than when I was with him, he drove me to the point where I couldn’t even feel safe talking to people on the street, thinking he might be watching me and get angry for no reason”, Bucky says, the sadness gone from his voice only to be replaced with anger, his body tense on top of Steve’s.

“I ignored calls from my parents, I missed band practices, I worked from home, I was basically a hermit, he made me feel weak for wearing a brace, like I couldn’t do anything, that he cared about me and that was the reason to keep me close”, his boyfriend continues to explains while Steve is trying really hard not to lose his temper and smash his fist into a wall, window or door.

“He got so deep inside my head that I nearly lost myself, but thankfully Natasha didn’t allow it, she called my sister and they pulled me out of my misery”, he chuckles bitterly, “it was really hard at the beginning even though we were together for only a few months, I got used to his presence, him mistreating me, the physical contact, everything”, he sighs deeply, “he begged me to comeback several times and a part of me wanted to, so badly, but on the other hand I remember how much I missed going to shows and hanging out with friends, my parents on the phone, not having to look over my shoulder or being scared all the time”, Bucky says and Steve holds him even tighter.

“It took me a while but eventually I started enjoying the little things in life again, going out and having fun, went to shows and parties, made new friends”, he smirks and Steve can feel Bucky’s body relaxing against him, “the only good thing out of it was that he gave me a lot of material to write about”, the brunet giggles and Steve rolls his eyes at him, a smile of his own on spreading on his lips, “the Howling Commandos started doing good playing more shows than ever and then I saw you”, his boyfriend grins goofily.

Steve clears his throat and sits a bit straighter, keeping Bucky close to him, the brunet looking up under those long and dark eyelashes of his, “I have no idea what it feels like to go through something like that but I know it must have been really difficult and I’m…” he clears his throat again, a few tears falling down his face, Bucky reaches up to swipe them away with his fingers, “I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help but I’m really proud of you, you’re so much stronger than you think you are, not everybody can do what you did”, he nods before he kisses the top of his boyfriend’s head.

“Thank you”, Bucky sighs happily, “and it’s just like you said, you’re here now, none of that matters anymore, I’m happy again, so so happy”, the brunet adds and cuddles against Steve.

“I’m happy too”, the blond hums.

“So yeah, if you ever want to ask something else, anything, you can”, Bucky nods.

“Thanks for trusting me, I’m sure this is not easy”, Steve says and ducks his head to put his lips on Bucky’s, just one chaste and sweet kiss.

“You are very welcome, you make it easy”, Bucky smiles wide, “lets change the subject for now, yeah?” his boyfriend suggests after one last sniff.

“Okay”, Steve giggles.

“What’s today’s plan?” he asks, “what time are we leaving?” Bucky says.

“Well, first I thought we didn’t have to leave so early but then it occur to me that I could take advantage of the car and buy a Christmas tree, pick it up myself instead of have it delivered”, the blond comments.

“That sounds good, I don’t mind if we leave early, we can start packing after breakfast”, Bucky nods.

“Okay, you can come with me to pick the tree if you want to”, Steve smiles.

“Sure”, the brunet smirks back.

“That’s settled then”, he says.

Steve holds his boyfriend close to his chest for a few moments, hearing his deep and calm respiration in sink with his, that until there’s a soft knock on the door and it reminds them they aren’t alone in the house, Bucky looks up to meet his eyes as a little smile spreads on his lips.

“Did you locked the door?” he questions and Steve shakes his head, “it’s open”, the brunet says a bit louder while he moves back a bit and down from Steve’s lap.

The door opens slowly and a little head with soft curls peeks inside the room, “hi”, she whispers holding the tiger plushy close to her body.

“Hey there”, Bucky smiles wide, “come here”, he waves his hand.

Bucky leans back against the headboard again as the girl walks closer to them, when she’s in reach, Steve hooks his hands under her armpits and lifts her to put her on the bed between the two of them, her little feet swinging by the edge of the mattress.

“Good morning”, Steve says, “did you sleep well?” he asks.

“Yes, I did”, she nods bouncing on the bed, “my mommy says I snore, I don’t think I snore”, Connie shakes her head.

“Well, Bucky snores too”, Steve smirks.

“Really?” she wonders looking up at Bucky with wide eyes and the brunet shrugs his shoulder playfully, Connie giggles sweetly covering her mouth with her tiny hand.

“Where is everybody?” Bucky questions.

“My auntie Winnie says that breakfast is ready”, Connie announces.

And with that, they finally get out of bed, they don’t want to leave everybody waiting for them to start eating breakfast, besides Bucky practically runs downstairs because apparently, _and I quote_ , he feels like he hasn’t ate in ages. Steve chuckles behind him walking slowly, taking step by step on the stairs with the little girl holding his hand; her fingers making Steve’s hand look bigger than normal.

When they arrive at the kitchen, Becky cheers for them not because she misses them but because that means she can start eating, and like her brother, she is also starving.

***

Bucky takes a deep breath before and looks around his room and finally closes the door behind him, his duffle bag in hand and his boyfriend waiting for him by the stairs.

This past few days have been more wonderful than Bucky ever expected, it’s sad to know that he has to go back to reality and even though he misses Natasha, his bike and his house, he’s leaving his family behind. The good thing is that he’s not alone anymore, Bucky is going back home with Steve by his side, his _brand new_ boyfriend. Bucky’s never been this excited to shout out to the skies and for everybody to know that he’s in a relationship, but now he wants to tell every living thing on this planet that Steve Rogers chose to be with him, and Bucky can’t stop smiling about it.

“You ready?” Steve questions as they walk down the stairs.

“Yeah, I’m probably forgetting something, I always do”, Bucky laughs.

“Don’t worry, you guys will be back in less than a month”, his mother says shifting towards them when they reach the living room.

“We will?” Steve questions with frowned eyebrows.

“Of course, Christmas time”, she nods.

“Oh, okay, I guess?” the blond hums.

“Steve, you don’t need an invitation, you’re always welcome here from now on”, she smirks.

“What she means is that it’s not a choice, there’s no room for debate, she decided for us that we are coming for Christmas”, Bucky explains.

“Exactly”, Winnie crosses her arms over her chest.

“Perfect!” Steve cheers and Bucky leans to the side to place a little kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek before he moves around the couch to say goodbye to his father.

His father hugs him and shakes Steve’s hand before he embraces him into a hug too; Becky hugs the both of them with each of her arms before she goes back to her computer. His aunt tells him to be safe as usual and asks Steve to take care of his loving nephew, Bucky rolls his eyes but Steve answers with a sincere ‘I will’ before he turns his head and smiles at Bucky, the brunet just melts on the floor. Connie doesn’t want to let him go and she almost makes him cry when she says that Steve is her new favorite person in the world, right next to Bucky, _of course_ , he hugs her tightly and promises to bring her a big present for Christmas. 

He says goodbye to Cosmo after they manage to pull him away from Captain, _dogs are too smart for their own good_ , and his four-legged friend licks his face and hands while he hugs him. Half an hour later after the proper farewells they’re driving away from his house, Steve behind the wheel and Captain sadly whimpering in the back seat until the poor dog falls asleep already missing his new friend.

They stop for gas once before they hit the road on their way back to Brooklyn, and like the first time, Bucky buys a crazy amount of candies just for himself, he also makes Steve stop at a coffee shop to order his last cup of Pumpkin Spice Latte of the year. He doesn’t fall asleep this time, but he does hum and sings to Steve’s Alice in Chains playlist while the blond chuckles every time Bucky gets excited over a song he hasn’t heard in years.

In the middle of the ride back, Bucky needs to go to the restroom after he drank the biggest cup of coffee they had in store, his boyfriend laughs as he drives into the nearest rest stop on the road.

***

The other half of the road is smooth after they stop to use the restroom and stretch their legs, and Captain isn’t so sad anymore when Steve lets him out of the car. Steve waits for his boyfriend by the car while he watches the dog sniffing around the place until the brunet comes back and they continue their way back home.

Steve is singing in the back of his mind a Rage Against The Machine song until it’s interrupted by an upcoming call on his phone. He takes a peek on the caller ID and hums in surprise when he notices the name and area code on the screen.

He pushes the answer button on the steering wheel to take the call on the speakers, not bothering that his old friend is going to say something about his boyfriend; Steve doesn’t think they even know each other, he looks to the side and his boyfriend just offers a small smile.

“Hello?” Steve answers.

“Rogers?” the voice questions.

“Yes”, he says.

“Sweet, I didn’t knew if you had the same number, it’s Morita”, the man comments, “How are you man?” he adds.

“I’m great, it’s nice to hear from you, how’ve you been?” Steve wonders.

“Good, working non stop”, he chuckles, “did you read my email? I also sent you the invitation via Facebook but I know you’re knew to the thing”, Jim says.

“Yeah, I haven’t get used to it but I did saw it”, Steve laughs.

“So, are you interested? What’s your price?” they guy questions.

“Of course I’m interested, you know it’s not about the money, I can’t confirm you yet because I’m not in town but I’ll get back at you tomorrow, do you know the exact dates?” Steve asks.

“Yes, it’s at the beginning of April, 3rd to 5th I believe”, Jim explains.

“Okay, it’s like a weekend thing, I already have booked until March so I think you might be on time”, Steve chuckles.

“Cool, let me know as soon as possible so I can start promoting you, I hope you can make it, people are gonna flip”, Morita chuckles.

“Yeah, me too, it’d be nice”, Steve says.

“Awesome, I’ll be waiting for you then, it’s nice to hear from you, Steve”, the man hums.

“Same here, take care”, he returns.

“Later”, Morita says before he hangs up.

Steve sighs as soon as he hangs up and runs a hand through his hair, holding the wheel tightly with the other. Jim Morita, a fellow tattoo artist, also a vet, Steve met him through Dum Dum in one of the man’s travels upstate to another convention where Steve attended. He contacted Steve a few days ago to invite him to a convention he’s organizing along with a Tattoo Magazine of high prestige on the United States where Steve’s work has been featured several times.

The guy wants to add Steve to the long list of artist to be presenting their artwork and also do a few appointments on the three days that the event will last, Steve loves expos and conventions, not because he’ll be on the spotlight, _not that_ , but because of all the interesting people you get to meet from around the world, and on this place specially, all across from where Steve is, the all intimidating California.

Travel thousands and thousands of miles, Steve’s not so sure about that.

***

“Business?” Bucky questions in curiosity.

“Yeah”, Steve smiles, “Jim’s also a tattoo artist, he’s organizing an expo and he invited me”, he explains.

“Oh, that’s cool”, Bucky hums.

“Yes”, the blond nods.

“But something’s bothering you”, Bucky notices.

“Maybe, I don’t know if I’m going to do it”, Steve shakes his head.

“Why?” he wonders.

“I know it can get crowded, I’ve been to conventions before but that’s not it”, Steve sighs, “but this one is across the country, in Anaheim, as in California”, his boyfriend chuckles awkwardly.

“Wow, that’s big, I think you should do it”, Bucky smiles.

“I’ll think about it”, Steve shrugs a shoulder.

“Yeah, you do that”, he squeezes his boyfriend’s forearm. A couple of seconds pass and Bucky stares outside the window, looking at the passing cars and the road ahead until Steve speaks again.

“Bucky?” Steve whispers.

“Yeah?” Bucky says.

“If I decide to attend”, he starts, “to the convention, I mean”, he clears, “would you go with me?” Steve questions.

Bucky has to blink a few times to clear his mind and ears, he isn’t sure if he heard right, “you want me to go with you, to California?” Bucky asks just to be sure he isn’t dreaming.

“Only if you want to, it’s okay if you say no”, the blond says.

“Are you kidding? Of course I want to”, Bucky leans to the side and pecks his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Really?” Steve wonders in surprise, like he was expecting a no for an answer.

_How could I say no to this man?_

“Sure, I’ve never been to California, and you’re going to be there, maybe we could have sex on the beach”, Bucky smiles wickedly nodding his head up and down.

“Buckyyyy!” Steve whines as his cheeks blushed.

“We are totally having sex on the beach”, he chuckles pleased with himself.

***

Steve asked, out of the blue, without even thinking and thankfully, Bucky said yes and Steve can’t feel anymore trilled about it. Apparently, and if all works out, they’re spending some time in California, _how crazy is that?_

Everything’s moving so fast that it’s difficult to keep track of all the things that have been happening, but Steve is certain that he’s never been this happy in his whole life, or at least after his mother died. Sure he had a relationship that lasted quite some time, and Steve is grateful for the moments he shared with Peggy, but at the end they parted ways because they both had different plans in life. She wanted to continue her studies and move back to England and that was perfectly fine, but Steve Rogers, living far away from his good ol’ Brooklyn? _I don’t think so_. A long distance relationship wasn’t going to work out either, and sometimes it was hard for Peggy to keep track with Steve’s crazy schedule, not to mention that the girl had also a lot going on, but thankfully, they remained friends.

The drive back to their hometown is fast since it’s a Sunday and there isn’t so much traffic. Bucky keeps chatting of all the things he would like to do if they do go to California, he also starts mentioning about all the places he would like to visit in the United States, while Steve shares a couple of travels he has made for conventions or music festivals, but always on the upper East Side of the country. Steve can’t deny he’s excited about this, maybe because it will be a complete different place or because his boyfriend said he would like to go with him, _or both_.

When they finally start noticing familiar places, Steve feels relived to be back home but also a little sad because it means he has to go back to normal life the day after. But he’s also really happy because his favorite season of the year is beginning: _Christmas time!_

“What do you say if we go straight to buy the tree and then we pick up your bike before I drop you at your place?” Steve suggests.

“I could drive my bike from your house to mine”, Bucky says.

“Yeah but you also have your backpack and duffle bag”, he reminds.

“Riiiiight, I forgot”, Bucky chuckles.

“It’s no trouble, really”, Steve nods.

“Okay, you do like this car, don’t you?” Bucky questions.

“Yes, I want one”, he smirks, “I love my bike but this is more convenient sometimes”, Steve says.

“You should give it to yourself as a Christmas present”, Bucky smirks.

“You know what? Maybe I will”, he laughs.

Steve drives up to the place where his mother and him used to go buy the tree every year, after she died he has only picked the tree by himself once, other years he has bring Sam and Clint along with him but this time it’s different.

“Are you looking for something specific?” Bucky questions as they get out of the car.

“Yes, I like the tree to be in certain shape and I check the branches to see if it’s not too dry, I don’t want a brown and sad tree by the time Christmas is here, also I like natural green looking trees not fake snowy ones”, Steve explains.

“Jeez, you know your stuff”, Bucky chuckles, “and why not get a fake one that you can assemble yourself?” he questions.

“Well, this trees are already down, besides, this company plants 3 other trees for each one they cut, I could go cut and plant some myself but I don’t have the time”, the blond shakes his head, “and also, nothing beats the smell of fresh pine”, he chuckles.

“Sure buddy”, Bucky laughs warmly.

***

And as Bucky expected, it’s a hard task going Christmas Tree shopping with Steve, they’ve been circling around the place for more then an hour and Steve has seen a few trees he likes but he’s not sure of which one to choose. After _I don’t even know how many_ laps, Bucky and Captain sit defeated near the taller trees waiting for his boyfriend to stop sniffing and touching the branches and pick a _goddamn_ tree.

“I know which one!” Steve yells with a smile plastered on his face.

Bucky huffs and whines when he notices the tree that the blond chooses is one of the first ones they saw, a tall and bushy green pine that his boyfriend said it had the perfect branch at the top for the star. For Bucky, all the trees look the same, just some taller than others but apparently Steve is very picky selecting his.

Minutes later after Steve pays, they’re finally driving back to Steve’s house to leave the tree, Bucky doesn’t know if he should ask to stay and help him to decorate it or not, they’ve been spending so much time together that he doesn’t want to be all over Steve and smother him.

“Hey, I have the upcoming fundraising thing at Stark Industries and I think I’m going to be really busy these couple of weeks getting everything together so I might not be able to go out that much”, Steve says as they arrive at his house.

“Yeah, I know, that’s fine”, Bucky sighs sadly.

“I’m just saying because I don’t want you to think I don’t wanna go out or something, I just have a lot to do”, Steve nods unbuckling his seatbelt, “maybe you can come around and we could hang out here but I probably won’t be that much fun”, the blond chuckles.

“You’re always fun”, Bucky winks, “but don’t worry, I understand, I have to be home too, Natasha has been taking care of everything lately, she might need a break too”, he comments.

“Okay, so lets get this thing inside and I’ll drive you”, Steve smiles.

“Sure, boyfriend”, Bucky smirks teasingly and Steve leans to the side to kiss his cheek before he goes out.

A half an hour later they’re driving to Bucky’s place after they managed to put all of Steve’s belongings inside the house, along with the tree and Captain.

Bucky looks outside the window and stares up and down at his apartment building, he feels like he hasn’t been there in forever, and he does miss it, everything that’s inside, Natasha and him have been working really hard during the past few years to put a nice home together for the two of them but he can’t help but feel like he’s going to an empty house, even thought his best friend is probably waiting inside.

“So, I guess this is me”, Bucky sighs as Steve turns off the engine.

“Yeah, I think so”, Steve chuckles, “lets go, I’ll walk you”, the blond says reaching for the door handle.

Bucky is faster and leans in before Steve opens the door and holds his right wrist, “no, wait…” he says. Steve turns his head around and stares at him with his eyebrows frowned, “if you go out there with me, I’m not gonna let you go, and both of us have things to do”, Bucky explains.

“Okay”, he hums.

“I really had a great time, thanks for going with me, thanks for everything”, Bucky says still not letting go of the blond’s arm, rubbing circles on the inside of his wrist with his thumb.

“Me too, thanks for inviting me”, Steve nods with a beautiful smile on his face.

***

Steve frees himself from Bucky’s grip and places his right hand on the back of his boyfriend’s neck to bring him forward, he leans closer to meet him halfway and places his lips against the brunet’s. Bucky responds right away by opening his mouth and Steve sucks his boyfriend’s lower lip playfully, Bucky hums in return as he moves his fingers through Steve’s hair.

The time passes and the kiss grows hotter as they breathe into each other’s mouths, moaning and panting while their heads turn from one side to another, until they part gasping for air and laugh as soon as they see one another’s messy hairs, their lips puffy and red.

“Seriously though, I’ll drag you up if you don’t go now”, Bucky says.

“Okay, okay”, Steve giggles.

The brunet gets out of the car and opens the back door to retrieve his bags and bike; he puts on his backpack while he hangs the duffle bag on the handle of his bicycle, “text me later, I wanna see that tree!” Bucky demands.

“Sure thing, say hi to Nat for me”, he nods.

“Yes”, Bucky hisses, the brunet leans forward and inside the car to place one last kiss on Steve’s lips before he finally closes the door behind him.

Steve stays there watching as Bucky walks away towards the building, he turns to wave goodbye over his shoulder, Bucky’s cheeks are rosy and his nose red from the cold weather but the sun is shinning above them, the brunet’s skin looks golden and his piercings bright, but Steve’s favorite thing, _hands down_ , is his smile and the wrinkles on the corner of his eyes, his fingers ache for his sketchbook every time he sees those.

He puts his hand up and waves in return, he waits until Bucky is inside the building and disappears into the hall that leads to the elevator, he finally drives away until his boyfriend is no longer in sight, a smile spreading across his face as he turns on the corner and heads home.

Captain is asleep on his usual spot and the house is silent as he closes the door behind him, he grabs his duffle bag and walks to the laundry room to put his dirty clothes on the washing machine. When that is out of his way, he goes back to the front door and outside to walk over to the Morales’ to let them know that he is back; it’s Miles who opens the door.

“Hey Steve, how was your weekend?” the teenager smiles.

“It was great, and yours?” he wonders.

“Awesome, I ate a lot, I almost puked”, Miles chuckles, “so, how’s your guy? I mean, Bucky, your friend”, he sighs, “you know what I mean”, the guy laughs awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Bucky… he’s my boyfriend”, Steve smirks, but his cheeks can’t help but turn pink at the confession, because finally saying it out loud to someone else makes it even more real.

“Really?” Miles asks with his eyes open wide and Steve nods proudly, “cool”, the kid says.

“Yeah, I just dropped him at his apartment”, he comments.

“Miles, what’s taking you so…oh Steve!” Rio says as she comes to stand next to her son, “where are your manners young man? Leaving him standing outside in the cold”, she says to Miles.

“Sorry?” the guy says with an apologetic smile.

“Steve, would you like to come in?” she questions politely.

“Oh no, Misses Morales, thank you so much, I just wanted to let you know that I’m back”, he nods.

“Perfect, did you find everything alright?” the older lady questions.

“Yes, thank you for keeping an eye on the house”, Steve says politely.

“You’re welcome honey, anytime”, Rio hums.

“Well, I’ll let you go back to your day, I have a tree to decorate”, he chuckles.

“Great, take care, mijo”, she says to him placing a hand over her son’s shoulder.

“I will”, Steve nods before he walks away towards his house and waves at them before they close the door behind him.

***

Bucky notices Clint’s bike when he locks his on the rack inside the lobby, he really hopes he’s not going to interrupt anything, or at least that they’re in her room. When he finally manages to fish his keys from inside his backpack, he knocks at the same time he opens the door.

“Is everyone decent?” he asks with one eye closed as he walks inside.

“Define decent”, a shirtless Clint says from where he’s sitting down on the couch, his arm spread on the backrest and his legs crossed at the ankles over the coffee table in the middle of the living room.

“Excuse me, who are you?” Natasha questions with a hand resting on her hip, and pointing at Bucky with a kitchen knife with the other, “do I know you?” she jokes.

“Hi, Natalia, I knew you’ll miss me”, he winks walking towards her, Bucky opens his arms wide to embrace her into a hug but he waits until she makes a move too. She rolls her eyes but places the knife on the table before she puts her arms around his waist, Bucky returns the hug and squeezes her small figure tightly.

“So, were you having sex or what?” Bucky questions after he reaches for a plate of baby carrots that’s over by the counter and walks back to take a seat next to Clint.

“You could say that”, Clint wiggles his eyebrows at Bucky.

“Here?” Bucky asks trying to sound disgusted by the idea of being there.

“No, in your room”, Natasha answers, “payback, you know”, she shrugs a shoulder casually.

“Seriously?!” he yells looking between the couple, Clint puts his arms up in defense and Natasha smirks pleased with herself, “that was one time, I said I was sorry, I bought you new sheets!” Bucky adds.

“You really had sex in Tasha’s bed? How are you alive?” Clint chuckles.

“It was an accident, I was too drunk to realize what I was doing”, Bucky says.

“Been there”, Clint whispers between his teeth.

“And to remember the guy’s name”, Natasha chuckles, “don’t worry, James, we did not had sex in your bed”, she says before she turns around on her heel, “not yet anyway”, she comments over her shoulder walking back to the kitchen.

“Jeez”, Bucky sighs resting his back on the couch.

“So, how’s the big guy?” Clint questions.

“He’s okay”, Bucky nods, “we went to buy a Christmas tree, I didn’t knew if I should help him decorate it or not, so I didn’t asked anything”, he shrugs.

“I’m glad you didn’t asked, it’s a nightmare!” Clint shakes his head.

“How come?” Bucky wonders.

“Steve’s really picky with that sort of thing”, Natasha adds as she comes back from the kitchen with a sandwich on her plate, she sits down on the single sofa chair next to the TV, “he likes it done in some way specifically and he appreciates the help but he ends up taking down everything and putting it up himself”, she explains.

“Yeah, he’s nice like ‘oh thank you, but why don’t we move it here, it might look better, don’t you think?’” Clint says in a mocking voice and Bucky giggles because he totally hear Steve saying something like that, “I tried helping once, I gave up right away, Sam also helped, or at least he says he did, I know Steve did everything”, Clint chuckles.

“I asked once if he needed my help and since he said no I didn’t pushed”, Natasha shakes her head.

“But why?” Bucky wonders.

“It’s something he used to do with his mother, he gets a bit emotional about it, we just let him be”, Clint says, “so if he ever gets weird around the Holidays now you know why”, his friend adds with a shrug.

Bucky thinks back to a younger Steve, back to those years when he laughed along with his mother, smiling down at her as he stands up into a chair to put up the star at the top of the tree, or as she hands him a cup of hot cocoa when they were done with the decorations and they sat back on the couch to appreciate everything. But now, Steve’s alone in his house, and Bucky knows that sometimes you need some time with your own thoughts, _but what if Steve doesn’t want to be by himself right now?_ Steve doesn’t ask for help, even though he needs it sometimes.

_Maybe I should have asked._

“He’s fine, James, don’t worry about it”, Natasha’s voice draws Bucky’s attention back. _I’m telling you, she reads minds_.

“I know”, Bucky sighs deeply, “so, how was the Hamptons?” he asks trying to change the subject.

“Great”, Clint says, “they want to kick me out of the family and adopt Tasha’ instead”, the man chuckles.

“Really?” Bucky asks and Natasha, the always charming, shrugs a shoulder with a tiny smile on her lips.

“By the way, my cousin Kate thinks you’re hot”, Clint comments.

“How does she know how I look like?” Bucky questions.

“We were talking about Steve, she has met him before, then the Facebook thing happened and she asked about you and yeah”, Clint laughs, “she said it was a shame that you’re gay but that she ships you and Steve, whatever the hell that means”, and the man chuckles some more.

“Well…” Bucky says standing up, “thanks, I guess?” he shrugs a shoulder, “I’m hungry, what are we eating?” he adds walking towards his bedroom.

“Pizzaaaaaaa!” Clint cheers.

“Hell no!” he hears Natasha yell behind him.

“Wake me up when dinner’s ready!” he shouts over his shoulder.

“Lazy ass!” the couple yells at the same time and Bucky giggles to himself.

_Match made in heaven._

_Or hell._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our poor Bucky! Our poor Stevie!
> 
> :cccccccc
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and let me know what you guys think about it, I love hearing from you!
> 
> On that note, a lot of you have been asking to know more about Steve's past, I promise there's something about it in future chapters but please be patient, Steve's character is too precious for me (both of them, really) and I get too emotional writing about him, but you'll get his backstory soon enough.
> 
> As usual, I hope you have a nice day/week/month and all, and even though I'm a bit busy at the moment, I can always make time to answer your comments and questions, to be honest, they make my day, so yeah, don't be shy and say hello or something!
> 
> xxoo


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi c:

 

Steve woke up early feeling a bit sore from his run the previous night, but a good type of sore since he has missed exercising on a daily basis. Sunday afternoon passed in a blur when he dedicated the rest of the day to decorate the house, listening to music as he undusted every ornament, and like every Holiday since his mother passed away, everything made him remember her and the good times they used to spend together, but this time he tried not to get too worked up about it, and the fact that Bucky kept texting him funny pictures and videos of dogs and cats during the whole process helped a lot. 

Monday came and he woke up early to check out the pieces he has on the studio, trying to sort out the things he needs to finish, what needs some touch ups and what’s ready to send to Pepper. That night he went to the Red Room as he used to do and everybody gave him a warm welcome, including Natasha, and he dived into his workout right away, when he was done he went back home, ate some dinner, shower and then bed. 

Tuesday was almost the same, except that he didn’t went to the Red Room and decided to stay home and finish some art pieces that he had left forgotten over the past few months, but then he needed to clear his mind and went out for a run.

He hasn’t seen Bucky since the day he left him at his apartment, which was only two days ago, _and it feels like an eternity_ , but they have been communicating by texts and at least a couple of phone calls a day, but that’s still not enough, Steve misses him like crazy.

Steve was going to send Bucky a good morning text but changed his mind about it since it’s really early, and he knows well how much his boyfriend appreciates those extra 5 minutes of sleep.

He didn’t had breakfast today since he has his regular appointment with his doctor, Mister Erskine, where he is currently at, on the waiting room at the hospital expecting to be called to go in. He’s checking his inbox for new emails when his phone vibrates once as he receives a new text from Bucky.

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : It should be illegal to be this early at the office, I’m sleepy! :’c

The blond chuckles warmly when he notices Bucky’s name on his contact list, his boyfriend is always messing with Steve’s phone, putting nicknames to his friends, taking pictures of whatever is in front of him, changing his ringtone, setting his selfies as a home and lock screen background, he doesn’t even know when in the past weekend he had the time to change his name again.

 **Steve Rogers** : Good Morning! :D

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : Hello handsome, what are you wearing? >;)

 **Steve Rogers:** Jeans and like 3 jackets

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : That’s boring!

 **Steve Rogers:** Sorry to disappoint :p

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : Kill me, this meeting is sooooooooooooooo boring x.x

 **Steve Rogers** : You’re not even paying attention x)

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : Wait a second, your check-in isn’t until 10 and it’s 7, shouldn’t you be naked and sexy in bed right now?

 **Steve Rogers:** I had to come to the hospital, besides you know I don’t sleep naked :p

***

Bucky’s eyes fly wide open as soon as he reads the message, he excuses himself, not even waiting to hear the reply from the people in the room, they told Bucky he needed to be there in case his assistance was required but he has been falling asleep since he hasn’t do much but scribble gibberish on his notebook, but now, he feels like all his blood was drained from his head and went down to his stomach.

He presses the call button while he walks outside the room, he almost stumbles into a trash can because he didn’t noticed where he was going, he holds his phone with a shaky hand as he waits for the person in the other end to answer.

“Didn’t you say you were in a meeting?” The blond says.

“Steve? Where, which one?” he questions.

“Which what?” his boyfriend asks sounding confused.

“Hospital!” Bucky exclaims earning a few looks from the people around the hall but he doesn’t pay them too much attention.

“Oh no, I just had my regular appointment and vitamin shots, it’s nothing really”, Steve says.

“Steven, the last time you ended up in the hospital you didn’t told me anything, how I’m a supposed to…” Bucky sighs heavily in frustration.

“Bucky, it’s the truth, I swear”, Steve insists.

“Yeah, I know”, he sighs deeply, “you’re a shitty liar”, Bucky chuckles running a hand through his face.

“I can’t believe you called me Steven”, the other man laughs.

“So, are you sure you’re okay?” he questions just to confirm.

“Yes”, he says and Bucky can almost see him nodding, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you, go back to your meeting, stop wasting your time”, Steve whispers.

“Stevie, I’m not wasting my time, I couldn’t care if the goddamn President of the United States was in that room, I could be across the sea in fucking Russia and I would take the first plane here if you tell me something’s bad, you can’t fight me out of it”, Bucky lets out a deep breath, “this is important, you’re important to me, do you understand that?” he says, not exactly sounding like a question.

“I uuuhh…” Steve mumbles.

“Tell me about these things, okay? You scared me”, Bucky rests his back against a wall passing a hand through his hair, a few rebel strands falling over his forehead. 

“Okay”, Steve whispers, “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to startle you”, he says.

“It’s fine, just be safe”, Bucky nods even though his boyfriend can’t see him, “I’ll call you later, yes?” he adds.

“Perfect, I’m sorry again”, Steve says before he hangs up.

Bucky takes a deep and long breath before he goes to the coffee table to pour himself a cup and returns to the _boring and endless_ meeting thinking about his boyfriend getting shots and exams in a cold hospital room.

***

“Hey Darce, what time is my next appointment?” Steve questions after he walks outside his previous customer.

“Until 4 o’clock, I believe”, the girl says without looking away from the computer screen.

“Good, I told Pepper I was going to stop by to talk about some formalities of the Fundraiser, Imma go right now since I have the time”, Steve informs.

“Okay, boss”, she answers.

“I might take a while, you got this, alright?” he asks.

“Okay, boss”, Darcy responds, still zoomed out on the computer. 

Steve stares at her while she types away on the keyboard frantically, Steve is well aware that if it wasn’t for Darcy this place wouldn’t be the same and he is definitely grateful for his co-workers, they are what holds everything together, Steve’s glad that vacation time is right around the corner, he might even give the girl a raise, _she deserves it_.

“You know I am paying attention, right?” Darcy questions when she must have felt Steve’s gaze on her.

“Yeah, I know”, Steve chuckles, “just… thanks for everything, Darce”, he smiles.

“You’re welcome”, she nods once after she finally looks at Steve with a smirk.

He walks back to his station to turn off the lights and grab some paperwork that Pepper asked him to bring, he puts on his coat and right when he’s at the door, he remembers something and turns around, “Darcy…” he says.

“Yes, boss?” she answers.

“Remember Morita?” the blond questions fixing the collar of his coat.

“The guy from the Anaheim Convention?” Darcy questions.

“Yes”, he nods, “he’s going to send an email asking for some info of the place and whatnot, just so you know”, the man says.

“Got it”, she nods once.

Steve walks outside into the cold yet sunny day and gets into his motorcycle, heading to go grab something to eat first before he goes to the Stark Tower. On his way to the dinner, he decides to buy something for Bucky too, he didn’t told his boyfriend he was coming over, but since what happened in the morning he needs to apologize, and maybe food can help, _perhaps some pastries_.

He should have know better about the text, he didn’t even thought about it that way, and by no means he had intentions to worry his boyfriend, the thing is that he’s not accustomed of having someone that cares so much and yet so new to all of this. His friends already know about it and he might have told Bucky something about the matter once or twice but it never occur to him that he should have clear that out.

Minutes later, he arrives at Stark Industries with a bag of food in one hand and an envelope with the paperwork that Pepper asked him to fill in the other, he walks straight to the lobby where they tell him he’s expected, they hand him a visitor badge and send him up.

“Long time no see, Mr. Rogers”, the voice with a British accent on the speaker says.

“Hello, Jarvis”, he whispers on the empty elevator, “I’ll ask how are you but I think that’ll be kinda weird”, the blond chuckles.

“You are not wrong, sir”, Jarvis says, “how are you this evening?” he asks.

“I’m okay, I’m here to see Pepper”, he informs.

“Splendid”, the AI comments, “I believe Miss Potts is expecting you in her office”, he says.

“Oh, great”, he hums as the elevator stops on the destined floor.

“If you allow me, sir, I’ll lead the way”, Jarvis echoes.

“Sure, after you, I guess”, Steve chuckles and steps out of the elevator.

Steve walks his way through the halls, glass surrounding the place, cold stone walls, heals clacking against the floor, people going in and out of offices, a few staring and some other not paying attention. He stops when he arrives at the last office on the floor, a more welcoming area with warmer colors and a soft carpet under his feet.

A secretary behind a big desk greets him; he’s told he can go right in since Pepper is already waiting for him. Everything about this place has always seemed a bit too secretive to Steve’s taste, but he tries to keep his nose out of people’s business.

“Come in”, a soft woman’s voice says when he knocks the door.

“Hey there”, he smiles when he peeks inside.

“Steve, I’m so glad you were finally able to come”, Pepper says standing up from her chair.

“Oh please, don’t stand up”, he walks closer to her, he gives Pepper a kiss in the cheek and a small hug, “but yeah, I’ve been pretty busy”, he says.

“I know, and this was so last minute, I’m sorry about that”, she says pointing at the chair in front of her for Steve to take.

“Don’t worry about it, I understand”, he nods, “here’s what you asked me to sign”, Steve says handing her the envelope as he sits down.

“Great”, she looks down to open it and pull out the content to spread the sheets of paper on the impeccable desk, “this won’t be too long, I’m sure you want to go and see your boyfriend for a bit”, she smirks.

The blond’s cheeks turn pink, _as usual_ , it’s something that probably will never change, “actually, I didn’t told him I was coming here”, he says, “but yeah”, Steve confesses.

“A surprise”, she lifts her perfectly shaped eyebrow, “you’re the sweetest”, the woman chuckles warmly.

“How did you know that he… you know, that we…” Steve shrugs his shoulder shyly.

“That he’s your boyfriend?” the lady questions and he nods, “you know that Tony has a weird fixation over you, besides he gossips more than the ladies in the P.R. department”, she giggles.

“I see, news travel fast”, he laughs.

“You could say that”, she says standing up, “you want something to drink?” she questions pointing at the mini bar on the corner of the office.

“No, thank you”, he says, “or maybe just some water, please”, he reconsiders.

“Great, let’s get this over with”, Pepper nods with a smirk.

***

Bucky’s not going to lie; this day hasn’t been a good one. First he had to wake up at _ass in the morning_ to come to the office to a meeting he wasn’t even needed, then he gets a call in the middle of it, Steve was at the hospital, he had a mild heart attack when he read that, _or maybe not a heart attack_ , but at the second his brain processed it he thought about the worst, which ended up being not that bad, but still, his nerves were on edge the rest of the morning.

Right now, he’s pretty sure his ass-cheeks are joint one with the other since he has spent the whole day glued to the chair behind his desk translating some manuals that Tony handed him, they’re in Russian and that’s not a problem, but the subject is _hella boring_ and he barely even understands what he’s reading, not because of the language, Russian comes like a second nature to him, but he’s hardly paying attention to the content, and let’s not forget, _I’m also starving!_

He’s getting some notes done while he debates on the back of his mind what to get for lunch when there’s a sudden knock but he doesn’t look up, then again, three bumps on the door.

“Tony, how many times do I have to say you don’t have to knock? The door it’s not even clo…” that’s when he looks up.

_Oh._

_Not Tony._

Bucky tilts his head to the side and blinks a couple of times to clear his mind, _and noup, not dreaming_ , there’s that gorgeous boyfriend of his standing by the door with a tiny smile on his face giving him a little wave with his hand.

“Hi”, the blond whispers.

He stands up and walks over to the other man without making eye contact with him, Bucky launches his arms around Steve’s neck as soon as he’s in reach and the blond places his around Bucky’s frame, for a few second they stand there breathing into each other’s necks.

“You didn’t told me you were coming”, Bucky says when he let go.

“Surprise, I guess”, Steve chuckles awkwardly, “also, I brought food”, he lifts a plastic bag he’s carrying in his hand that Bucky didn’t even notice before.

“Oh, this keeps getting better”, Bucky sighs and takes the bag from his boyfriend’s hand, “so, what do I owe the pleasure?” he lifts his eyebrow in question.

“Well, I want to apologize for earlier, you know… I should’ve told you about it”, Steve says.

“It’s fine, I worry, that’s all, next time a little heads up would be nice”, he leans forward and places a kiss on the corner of the blond’s mouth before he turns around to put the bag over the desk.

Bucky can feel Steve’s gaze on him as he walks forward, the man is still standing by the door, probably just staring since Bucky did put an effort on his outfit today because of the meeting and all.

“Do you see something you like, Mr. Rogers?” Bucky questions as he turns around.

“Maybe”, Steve says closing the door behind him, pushing it with his body weight slowly and his hand working on the lock, his eyes on Bucky’s then up and down along his body, “you look nice”, he whispers, his voice low and husky, no trace of the shy Steve anymore.

And _holy shit_ , that look on Steve’s face makes Bucky’s blood boil inside his veins and the pit of his stomach hollow, _and it had nothing to do with the fact I’m hungry_. It’s not even fair how his boyfriend can look so innocent and calm one second and hot and sexy the other.

_No fair._

The brunet walks back towards Steve slowly, his boyfriend reaches to the side to close the blinds on the window in the front of his office, now he’s _damn_ glad he didn’t chose an office surrounded by glass walls.

“I didn’t knew where your office was, Pepper told me”, Steve says.

“How nice of her”, Bucky comments.

“It’s bigger than I expected”, the blond looks around.

“That’s what he said”, he smirks teasingly.

Bucky is closer to Steve now, but it seems like it isn’t enough since his boyfriend pulls him towards him by one of the loops of his jeans almost making him stumble into his broad chest, Steve places a hand on Bucky’s lower back for support and finally crashes their mouths together. The brunet puts his hands on each side of Steve’s neck, and the kiss grows hotter with every second, Bucky even yelps in surprise when Steve’s other hand goes down his back and squeezes his ass, the blond chuckles at Bucky’s reaction at the same time he takes a step forward making him take on step back and so on until Bucky’s back is against the wall, right next to the door.

It seems like they have a thing for making out against the wall right next to the door, _third time now_ , not like Bucky cares, _nobody’s complaining_. Steve’s hands are on Bucky’s ass-cheeks while Bucky rubs his crotch against his boyfriend’s, their mouths wet as their tongues exploring inside, panting for air heavily.

Steve moves his hands from where he has them, up and slowly touching every inch of Bucky’s torso to his neck, the brunet is about move his hands down to Steve’s hips when his boyfriend grabs him by the wrists and pins his arms over his head against the wall, making his shirt go up exposing a strip of skin from his stomach.

His boyfriend takes over the kiss, shoving his tongue hungrily inside Bucky’s mouth; the brunet has nowhere to go, not like he’s planning to leave any time soon, he loves every second of this.

***

“Your desk looks nice”, Steve says, “I want to fuck you on top of it”, he whispers into Bucky’s ear.

“Oh, shit…” Bucky knits his eyebrows together, his voice shaky.

Bucky gasps into Steve’s mouth when the blond decides to move his right leg between his boyfriend’s and rubs it up and down against the growing bulge inside his pants. Steve manages to hold both of Bucky’s wrists with his left hand and he lowers his right hand, moving it all over the brunet’s chest. His boyfriend pants every time that Steve rubs his fingertips over his nipples, the fabric of his black button-up soft but his piercings hard under it.

He kisses his way down to Bucky’s exposed neck when he tilts his head backwards thumping with the wall, the brunet’s hands still trapped under Steve’s as he nips his boyfriend’s earlobe between his lips, earning a cute stranded moan from him in return.

Steve had decided by the time he got to Bucky’s office, that he was going to give his boyfriend a blowjob, he knew Bucky wasn’t going to say no and it was the least he could do to apologize, _right?_

Everything is going as expected, all great, hot and peachy, until...

“Hey Buckynator, are you in there?” someone yells along with loud knocks on the door.

“Shit, it’s Tony”, Bucky hisses and Steve sighs in frustration, “I don’t wanna end this”, he whispers.

“What do you suggest then?” he questions letting go of Bucky’s hands.

“Hide”, Bucky says.

“What?” Steve asks confused.

“Hide”, he says again, “there, under the desk”, Bucky points to it.

“Are you serious? Why?” Steve whispers with a giggle.

“Because I don’t want him to see you here, I have boner in my pants”, Bucky points with his hands at the situation on his lower body and Steve tries not to laugh out loud.

“Buckyyyyyyyy! I just need you to sign this, my boss-lady sent me!” Tony shouts again.

“Go, I’ll deal with this”, Bucky nods his head towards the desk.

Steve moves to the back and tries to duck under the piece of furniture, it’s surprisingly big that they can actually fit the both of them under it, he gets into position and waits until he hears Bucky is trying to open the door.

“I’m going, jeez”, Bucky sighs.

Steve listens the door fly open and then Bucky appears in front of him to take his place on the chair, probably trying to cover his crotch with the surface, Bucky moves the chair closer to Steve, the blond just has to lean forward and his face would be right on Bucky’s crotch.

“What took you so long?” Tony asks, and then a noise, like he has taken a seat in one of the chairs.

“I actually work, unlike you”, Bucky says. _Work, yeah right_. Steve covers his mouth with his hand to prevent a giggle to come out.

“Yeah, yeah”, Tony sighs.

“So, what do you need me to sign?” Bucky questions.

His boyfriend leans a bit closer on the chair and opens his legs wider, it’s impossible for Steve not to stare, because what he’s aiming for is right there, he tries to scoot closer without making any noise, besides he needs something to concentrate in to prevent from bursting out laughing. He places his hands on Bucky’s knees and squeezes a bit, Bucky doesn’t react to that so he guesses it’s okay for him to carry on.

“Are you in a hurry or something?” Tony chuckles, “hey, I heard that our golden boy was around”, he says.

“Mine”, Bucky clears, “and I don’t know, haven’t seen him”, he hums.

Steve can’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s determination, to make Tony know that even though he makes jokes about Steve, Bucky is not going to let him have it his way. As an appreciation to that, Steve moves his hands up and down Bucky’s thighs slowly, digging his tattooed knuckles on those muscled legs.

“C’mon, the whole building knows he’s finally your boyfriend, but sharing is caring”, Tony laughs.

“I don’t care, not sharing, my Steve, mine”, Bucky says.

“Pff, whatever, you’re both equality boring”, the man huffs.

And Steve almost chuckles to that. _Boring? Tony doesn’t know what he’s talking about_. Steve isn’t trying to prove anyone wrong since nobody can see him, but Bucky can feel him, all right. He moves even closer and Steve puts his right hand further up his boyfriend’s leg, “you have no…” Bucky starts but he yelps a little when Steve puts hand over his crotch, felling his half hard erection inside his jeans, “you have no idea, Tony”, Bucky chuckles awkwardly.

“Are you okay?” Tony questions. Steve knows Bucky is probably struggling with himself not only not to do any indecent noise but also not to frown his face since he’s getting his dick touched.

“Yeah”, Bucky sighs, “Tony, the papers”, he insists.

“Do you have somewhere to be, do you want me to go?” Tony wonders.

“No, it’s just…” Bucky says and then stops, trying to cover a moan with a fake cough. Steve begins to trace the form of Bucky’s dick with his fingers, the right amount of pressure that the man can feel it over all those layers of clothing.

***

“Are you sure you’re okay?” the man asks in concern.

“Yeah”, Bucky’s says with a shaky breath, “I have a little headache, it must be because…” and then coughs again, “I’m hungry”, he sighs.

“Whatever you say”, Tony frowns his eyebrows.

 _Holy fucking shit_.

Bucky hates this.

But, Bucky also loves it.

It’s torture, it’s the worst thing he has ever experienced, yet is the hottest and most arousing thing he’s done, _and here I was thinking this things just happen in porn movies_.

Those long fingers stroking his hard dick over his jeans are making difficult to think straight, one thing is having to stay quiet, but not even able to make a face is making Bucky lose his mind. His cock pressing against the fabric of his boxers, his hands holding the edge of the desk tightly and his teeth pressed together while Tony _fucking_ Stark is trying to make Bucky sign some papers.

“Just at the bottom of those two pages, over the line”, the man instructs handing him the sheets.

Bucky opens and closes his hand twice to try to prevent it from shaking; he grabs the paper and signs it as accurately possible without even bothering to read what it is, “is that all?” he rushes.

“Yes, I’ll let you go eat, grumpy cat”, Tony chuckles as he stands up.

“Always a pleasure, Tony”, Bucky yells behind him, as soon as he can’t see Tony in the hall anymore he releases a long sigh and moves his chair back.

“Steve Rogers, are you trying to kill me?” Bucky whispers looking down at his boyfriend; Steve has Cheshire cat like smile, apparently too pleased with himself.

“You could get fired, aren’t you worried about that?” Steve asks, “besides, it was payback, you did the same in your parent’s house”, he says.

“I won’t get fired”, Bucky shakes his head, “we’re even then”, Bucky warns, “wait here”, he points a finger at Steve.

He stands up quickly, feeling sore from having his dick hard inside his jeans, he closes and locks the door again and goes back to the chair behind the desk, Steve is waiting right there where he left him, even though he doesn’t have to hide anymore.

“Where were we?” Steve smirks teasingly.

His boyfriend gets closer to Bucky and launches his hands at the brunet’s belt enthusiastically, he undoes the buckle, the button and then the fly, he pulls down Bucky’s pants to his ankles along with his boxers, Bucky lets out a long sigh as he feels his aching dick released from the pressure, goosebumps all over his skin while Steve scratches the side of his legs.

When Steve finally puts his fingers around Bucky’s shaft, the brunet chuckles between breaths, “it’s happening, this is actually happening”, he says trying to move forward, his back not touching the chair at all.

Steve moves up and places his lips on Bucky’s, a soft kiss for a few seconds until Bucky opens his mouth and takes a deep breath when his boyfriend starts to move his hand up and down slowly, “just sit back, and relax”, Steve winks as he pushes Bucky back with his free hand, now the brunet resting on the chair completely.

Bucky holds tightly to the armrest when he feels his boyfriend giving him a few licks to the swollen tip of his hard cock, one hand holding it at the base and the other right under Bucky’s belly pinning him in place. He breathes in and out through his nose deeply and stares right into his boyfriend’s dilated pupils while he keeps circling his tongue around the opening.

But then, Steve sucks the entire red tip inside his mouth and begins to move his head down slowly, his cheeks hollow and his lips stretched by Bucky’s shaft, he stares in amusement as his cock disappears into Steve’s mouth, everything goes in and Bucky is losing it, making stranded noises and his respiration fast, but when the tip of his dick hits the back of Steve’s throat it’s just too much that he has to moan a bit louder.

“Holy shit”, Bucky hisses.

The blond isn’t helping, he chuckles at that and the vibrations on his throat make it even worst, _or better_ , Bucky frowns his eyebrows and closes his eyes tightly while his body shakes all over when Steve starts bobbing his head up and down slowly, then stopping for a few seconds to nuzzle his nose against the trimmed hairs on the root of Bucky’s cock, then back up and releases the brunet’s dick with an obscene pop but he doesn’t stop moving his hand, stroking him a bit faster.

“People are gonna hear you”, he says and shushes him, placing the index finger of his free hand against his lips, “keep quiet”, the blond whispers.

_And he even looks hot doing that._

_How?!_

***

People will never use bold as a part of the description of the Steve Rogers’ persona, they say he has a grandpa’ personality, that he’s too old school for wanting a serious relationship and a family, he’s old-fashioned and maybe outdated, there’s no more to him but a Saint, boring and virgin till’ marriage.

_People can be so wrong sometimes._

Steve continues to suck everything of his boyfriend’s shaft into his mouth, one hand gently playing with Bucky’s testicles or going up and down and with the other he manages to finally pull out his own hard erection and stroke himself, slick pre-come all over his fingers as he continues to bob his head and swallow down his boyfriend.

“Fuck, just like that…” Bucky whispers.

“You know”, Steve says stroking his boyfriend’s shaft, “I like”, then kiss, “when you say”, lick, “I’m yours”, kiss.

“Yes”, he nods, “yes, Stevie”, Bucky sighs, “fuuuuck”, he chuckles, “you’re mine, all mine”, Bucky says.

Bucky is having trouble staying quiet, _as usual_ , the brunet’s hips go up a few times when Steve moves his head down but he just pins him back on the chair again, _and thank goodness for no gag reflex_. Steve can feel his boyfriend is getting really close when he desperately starts to brush the blond’s hair away from his face, Steve moans on the back of his throat, not only because he’s enjoying sucking his boyfriend’s dick but because he’s really close too, stroking himself faster in sync as he continues to suck.

“Oh, shit…” Bucky sighs, “fuck, Steve”, he hisses, “I’m close…” he breathes deeply, “don’t stop”, the brunet shakes his head quickly, “oh, fuuuuck”, he moans.

The blond does as told and continues to alternate from sucking to stroking and licking while he works on himself with his other hand. He’s the one to come first, Bucky pulling his hair as he goes down sucking and his fast pace pulling his dick makes it for him. He shuts his eyes as he feels the jolt of electricity running through his body, his eyebrows frowned and his mouth hung open while his hands continues to move around both of their dicks, until his right hand is covered by his own cum.

When his high comes to an end, he puts his mouth around Bucky’s shaft again and swallows him whole, making noises in the back of his throat to help his boyfriend finish faster, and it does seem to work since his Bucky begins to shiver in no time, sending all of his seed down Steve’s throat while he moans softly into the quiet office.

He gulps everything down and releases his boyfriend’s dick from his mouth and lets out a sigh of success, he looks up at Bucky to see he’s staring down at him with hooded eyes and a tired smile on his face.

“So, do you forgive me about the hospital thing?” Steve questions with a chuckle.

“Give me your hand”, he whispers.

Steve stares down to his right hand that is rested on Bucky’s bare knee and looks up again with a confused look on his face, “the other”, Bucky says.

“But…” Steve frowns his eyebrows but moves his hand up anyway, the one that still has his semen all over.

“C’mon”, Bucky insists leaning forward and holds Steve’s arm by the wrist and brings the hand closer to his face. The brunet opens his mouth and places Steve’s index finger inside, the piercing on his lip slick and warm against his skin, he licks the finger clean with his tongue, the letter ‘O’ disappearing inside his mouth, and then he goes on to do the same with all of the fingers, the ‘O’, the ‘R and then the ‘B’, every last drop until he’s satisfied. Steve just stares with wide eyes while his boyfriend licks his cum from his hand; the blond swears he could have gotten another boner just by looking at his boyfriend doing so.

“Was that a yes?” he questions with a giggle and the brunet nods smiling, “what time is it?” Steve asks as soon as Bucky let go of his hand.

The brunet lifts his head and looks at the computer screen, “two thirty two”, he says.

“I guess the fucking on the desk will have to be in some other occasion”, Steve laughs.

“I’ll take your word on that”, Bucky chuckles, “the food is real, or what’s in the bag?” he questions.

“It is”, Steve giggles zipping up his jeans while Bucky stands up and pulls up his pants, “it’s probably cold by now”, the blond comments.

“We can go to the dinning area and heat it up”, Bucky says, “there’s also a bathroom in case you need to use it”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, I need to wash my hands”, Steve smirks.

Bucky takes a step forward and places his hands on each side of Steve’s neck and pecks the blond’s lips a few times, “you keep amazing me, you know, and that’s not easy”, Bucky says.

“Well, I have my tricks”, Steve shrugs a shoulder casually.

“Damn right you do”, Bucky chuckles.

***

“Hey, I thought you said he wasn’t here”, Tony frowns his eyebrows as he walks closer to their table.

“I said I hadn’t seen him”, Bucky smirks.

“Hi, Tony”, Steve waves at the man with the goatee.

“Aww, how cute, he brought you food”, Tony puts his hand over his chest and sighs mockingly.

“You’re just jealous because he brings me food and not you”, Bucky says proudly.

“Whatever”, Tony chuckles, “enjoy your meal, saps”, the man says before he walks further into the dinning area.

“Always the charming”, Steve giggles.

“Yeah, so how are your pieces coming along?” Bucky questions.

“I still have some things to do, but I’m getting there”, the blond nods.

“I don’t get why you don’t want me to see anything”, Bucky shakes his head.

“I do want you to see them but all in time, you’ve seen my tattoos and such but this is different”, Steve says, “you’ll see them that night”, he nods.

“Fine”, Bucky huffs before he puts a piece of cookie inside his mouth.

“Hey, I realized this morning that I haven’t properly ask you”, Steve looks down at his hands on the table, “would you go to the Fundraising Gala with me?” his boyfriend whispers shyly.

“Uughh, you’re the cutest”, Bucky places a hand over Steve’s and leans in to place a tiny kiss on his blushed cheek, “of course I’ll go with you, you don’t even have to ask, although it’s nice”, he smirks. 

“Yeah, I just didn’t want to assume anything”, he shrugs a shoulder.

“It’s a date then”, Bucky winks at him.

“Perfect”, the blond nods once, “I have to get going”, Steve sighs standing up.

“Okay, text me when…” Bucky starts but gets interrupted by someone.

“Steve Rogers, is that you?” a man’s voice questions from across the room.

Both of them turn around to see Rhodey and Bruce walking towards them with smiles on their faces, Steve takes a couple of steps in their direction and Bucky stands up to follow him.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” Steve shakes the men’s hands.

“Life’s great”, Rhodey answers.

“It’s good to see you here, it’s been a while”, Bruce says.

“Yeah, I know, it’s nice to see you too”, Steve nods.

“Same here”, Rodhey says, “at least now you have a reason to be around here”, he winks at Bucky, the brunet giggles and Steve’s cheeks turn that cute shade of pink that Bucky loves so much.

“Pepper told me you’re on for the Fundraiser, that’s amazing, Steve”, Bruce says.

“Thanks”, Steve whispers shyly, “you know, anything I can do”, he shrugs.

“Rogers, always a pleasure”, Rhodey bows his head, “we better go before Tony burns our coffee”, Bruce chuckles.

“Take care guys”, Steve smiles.

“Later”, Bucky says to them and receives two nods in return.

“Well, I better go, this time for real”, Steve chuckles.

“Yeah, I’ll walk you out”, Bucky takes a step forward and closes the distance between them, he takes Steve’s hand and interlaces their fingers together, he places a soft kiss on the corner of his boyfriend’s mouth, “c’mon”, he smiles.

***

The rest of the day goes by in a blur, he arrives at the shop right on time for his next appointment and Darcy won’t stop teasing him about the look on his face, she knows it’s because he saw Bucky that afternoon, but she doesn’t know all the details, _she has no idea_. Steve chuckles walking back to his station to get ready and goes on with his day.

Darcy and him close the shop at eight o’clock and he drives straight to the Red Room, he was a bit bummed about his appointment with the doctor not only because he managed to get Bucky upset about it and by no means that was his intention, but also because the doctor told him he has lost a bit of weight since his last check-up.

Steve got mad when he heard this, he’s healthy and he has nothing to worry about, but still, he’s fought so hard to get where he is, to be able to go out on a chilly night without having to look like an astronaut, to run a mile without coughing his insides out, to enjoy a spring day without his allergies bothering his nose. The one responsible for his well-being is nobody but him, and just to think about the two weeks prior, it all has been like a rollercoaster, or even worst, and he has nobody to blame but himself.

It’s stupid now that he thinks about it, getting sad because of something he speculated, now that Bucky has made him clear he wants nobody but Steve, Bucky makes sure he knows that and Steve is grateful for it, to make him feel wanted, that he deserves him, and what’s even crazier is that Steve’s starting to believe that.

The Sunday afternoon when they came back, as he put on the ornaments on the tree, thinking about how he never lets anybody help him with such silly yet so important task, it made him realize he has everything to be fully happy and the only one stopping him is himself. So, he decided that the self-pity party stopped right there.

Feeling sad once in a while is okay, it’s normal, also having insecurities, but he also feels really proud about other things, his accomplishments in life, things that not a lot of people don’t get to fulfill, and that is what keeps him going. But now it’s different, he has Bucky; he hasn’t been in a serious relationship in years and he wants to make the best of it, he really wants to make this work for both of them.

_Love yourself and you will be loved, right?_

“Hey Rogers, are you here?” the woman’s voice is what brings him back to reality.

“Uuhh… yeah”, he chuckles, “just…” he cleans the sweat on is forehead with the back of his arm.

“Daydreaming?” she lifts an eyebrow, “let’s take five”, she nods towards the bench.

The both of them walk back to take a seat, Steve is really thankful for it since he feels really tired but also glad he’s getting back on track, “you know Nat, I really appreciate your friendship”, he hums.

“I know”, she smirks at the same time she bumps her shoulder into his arm, “so, how’s work? Bucky mentioned something about the Fundraiser by Stark Industries”, she says.

“Yeah, I still have some pieces to finish but it’s coming along”, Steve comments.

“And how do you feel about it?” she asks before taking a sip of her water bottle.

“I’m a bit nervous, but also excited”, he smiles.

“Has Bucky seen any of the pieces?” Natasha questions.

“Noup”, he shakes his head, “not the ones for the art show, I hope he likes them”, Steve sighs.

“He will, don’t worry about it”, the redhead says.

“Yeah but there’s a specific series that…” he stops when Natasha puts her palm up.

“Steve, relax, he hasn’t seen them, I haven’t seen them and we know they’re great”, Natasha nods.

Steve sighs and smiles at her, “you always know what to say”, he chuckles.

“I don’t know everything, I just act like I do”, she says, “c’mon, back at it”, she demands, “sex is not the only way to keep yourself in shape”, she laughs standing up.

_Have I told you how much I love my friends?_

***

“It’s settled then”, Dum Dum nods as he fixes a screw from the pedals on his drum set, “we’re writing music for a new record starting the New Year”, he nods.

“Sounds good, I have a few ideas already”, Bucky says fixing the strap of the guitar.

“Yeah, man, we need new material”, Gabe says while he plugs in his bass guitar.

“Hey, who else is playing this Saturday?” Bucky questions.

“Luke told me about this all-girl pop punk band that’s playing before us, other than that, I don’t know”, Dum Dum comments.

“Luke? Pop punk?” Gabe chuckles.

“Yeah, I mean, he’s not so much into the genre but they’re friends”, Dum Dum shrugs a shoulder.

“How come they’re in the line-up?” Monty wonders.

“I think the girls know Coulson”, Dum Dum says.

“You know how that guy is, he likes to have variety on his shows, I think it’s cool”, Bucky hums.

“Same here”, Gabe chuckles, “are the girls hot?” he wiggles his eyebrows at Dum Dum.

“I hope so”, Monty whispers between his teeth.

“I don’t know, but Luke told me they’re badass and I believe him, so I think we’re in for a treat”, Dum Dum cheers.

“Shut up, pigs!” Bucky yells.

“It’s not our fault you like dick”, Gabe giggles.

“A very specific one”, Monty chuckles.

“Exactly, not just any, my boyfriend’s”, Bucky says proudly.

“Does it feel weird?” Dum Dum wonders.

“What? Steve’s dick?” Bucky frowns his eyebrows, “it feels so damn good, you have no idea”, he says in a joking tone.

“Eeew, no!” Dum Dum wrinkles his nose as he shakes his head, “having a boyfriend, you moron!” the man in the bowler hat clears.

“Ooooohhhh!” Bucky laughs, “Uumm, not weird, just different”, Bucky nods.

“How come?” Monty wonders.

“Well, I was after a scumbag for so long that I forgot what it felt like to be with someone that cares, I mean, at first I thought nobody could be that good, you know, but he is and he makes me so fucking happy”, Bucky smiles.

“Hell, that’s deep”, Dum Dum whistles.

“That’s what she said”, Gabe whispers.

And the emotional moment is over, the four men burst out in laughter, chuckling at their friend’s comment. Dum Dum almost falls from his chair and Monty has to sit on the ratty old couch because he couldn’t stop laughing, Gabe leans into his amp for support while Bucky wipes away a few tears from his eyes.

“You guys are assholes”, Bucky giggles.

“That’s why you hang out with us, isn’t it?” Gabe says.

“Touché”, Bucky points his index finger at his friend.

“No but seriously though, we’re happy for you”, Dum Dum nods.

“Thanks”, Bucky smiles, “lets get this practice started”, he cheers as he turns on his amp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, forgive me, I am so sorry for the delay, I promise I haven't abandoned you, school and work are taking a lot of my time and energy, but I assure you you're always on my mind. Second, I hope you liked this chapter, a bit of sexy time there (sorry about the typos and stuff). And last but not least, I love you lots, this is hell week for me since I have finals but I really wanted to upload this because I really appreciate you, and miss you.
> 
> I wish you guys nothing but the best and remember to be kind to one another, I promise I won't take so long to upload the next chapter. Your comments and suggestions are always welcome, come and say hi :D
> 
> xxoo
> 
> P.S. I needed to clear my mind from this story to help with writers block, so I started to write a one-shot after watching Daredevil's Season 2, it's basically a double date between Steve/Bucky and Matt/Frank, it's not the same universe as this but you don't need much back story to understand it, the writing style is the same as this one with Steve and Bucky being the main characters, if any of you are even interested in reading it, let me now and I'll happily upload it as soon as I finish it.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D

It’s barely noon and Bucky is done with work for the day: translations, edits, revisions and what not. He looks out the window, the rain is coming down steady now, he wonders if this will affect his date night with Steve. His arm aches a bit because he’s standing too close to the window, it doesn’t matter that the Stark Tower has a perfect heating system, the cold still cracks through the glass and into the core of his weak shoulder. He needs to walk around; he clears his desk completely and decides to go ask if anybody else needs any assistance. 

He uses the elevator to Tony’s office to ask if he wants some help, “hey, Tony”, he says walking in.

“Sup, Bucko”, Tony answers not looking up from what he’s doing.

“Not much, you?” Bucky asks not actually paying him much attention; instead he mingles with a couple of pointy things that are lying near the desk.

“I’m trying to figure this out, what about you? How’s everything?” Tony questions glancing slightly at Bucky as he places his tablet down on the light desk.

“Well, I’m done for the day, I was wondering if you needed help with anything”, Bucky shrugs as he separates two sharp things and then places them back on the desk pretending he didn’t touch them.

“Uum, not me… go to Bruce, maybe he needs some help, or perhaps my dad?” Tony suggests, “Did you just… broke something?” Tony asks pointing with a stylus pen at Bucky.

“Ok, see you later!” Bucky hurries walking out of the office giggling.

“Tell our boyfriend I healed pretty well, that I’ll send him pictures of my naked body later”, Tony yells after him.

“My boyfriend! ” Bucky says loudly making sure Tony would hear.

He remembers having more days like this before, when he still had his other job as a piercer, or when he worked from home, actually, it had been a while since he does a freelance translation because he has been dedicating more of his time to this when he started working regularly at Stark Industries.

He walks over to Bruce’s office that is located in the same floor as Tony’s, “GODDAMN IT! AGGHHH!” He hears Bruce shouting before hearing a loud crash.

Bucky decides maybe Bruce doesn’t really need his help. _Noup_. He has heard around the place that nobody should get into Bruce’s way when his angry or distressed since the man has quite the temper, instead, he goes back to his office.

The brunet sits down in his chair throwing a ball at the wall, at some point he doesn’t catch it and lands in the crevice between the wall and the edge of his desk. He thinks between retrieving it, or perhaps he should find an excuse to leave the building.

He picks up his cellphone and figures he can text Steve.

 **Bucky:** Hey handsome, what you doing?

 **♥Stevie** **♥:** I’m making a transfer for a back piece, I’m applying it later today. What about you? (:

 **Bucky:** I’m just here in my office doing nothing. Have you had lunch yet?

 **♥Stevie** **♥:** Not yet, I was hoping to have it in like 15 min.

 **Bucky:** Don’t! I’m going over, I’ll bring you food :D

***

Steve puts his cellphone down smiling, having lunch with Bucky sounds like a great idea, he thinks about the last time he had lunch with Bucky, but they can’t really do what they did at Bucky’s office here, _unfortunately._

Thor interrupts Steve’s daydreaming as he knocks on the doorframe “Steven, we are on our way to get some sustenance, do you have any requests?” Thor asks with a toothy smile on his face.

Steve turns to the side to face him after he places the pencil at the edge of the desk, “No, thanks”, Steve shakes his head, “Bucky is on his way with some lunch for both of us”, he comments.

“Fantastic! We’ll all have lunch together then!” Thor cheers, “I will tell everyone we are bringing the food here and eat in the backroom”, the man decides, “you should tidy up for all of us while we get the amenities”, Thor says before he walks away.

Steve sighs and stands up, he stretches his back and arms before he goes to the back, the junctions of his bones and muscles popping back into place, _I guess it can’t be that bad_.

He was very wrong, there are several dishes left to wash, old coffee, stains over the table and smudges on the floor, he isn’t going to tidy up, he’s going to _deep clean_. Steve’s not pissed off about it since he knows they have been pretty busy lately, but he might have to talk to them about it, he can’t stand things being messy, but this is also a proof that he really needs to hire more people to make the situation better for all of them. But for the moment, he concentrates in scrubbing, rubbing and cleaning around, at least enough that he doesn’t feel like he’s living in a frat house.

Time passes and he hears someone knocking on the glass door up front as he finishes up cleaning, he walks out to find Bucky peeking in through the glass, his hands blocking the light from his eyes to see inside. He smiles when he sees Steve moving towards the door, lifting up the bag of take out in his hand.

Steve does a little happy dance as he walks over to open the door, he knows he probably looks dumb and silly but it’s all worth when he sees Bucky giggling, a full body laughter coming out of him.

“Hello, gorgeous”, Steve says pulling him inside. Steve cups his boyfriend’s face on his hands as he leans forward to place a soft kiss on Bucky’s dry lips, the metal of his piercing cold against the blond’s skin.

“Hey”, Bucky sighs happily when they part, “where’s everyone?” he questions looking around.

“They went to get some food, but they’ll be eating here with us”, Steve responds leading him towards the back.

“So…. we’re alone?” Bucky wonders wiggling his eyebrows but before Steve gets to respond, Thor comes inside the shop.

“We have arrived!” the man yells.

***

Eating with Steve’s gang is awesome, just spending more time with Steve feels great, _like a family_ , like he belongs in a way, it feels right being around this place, this is a part of Steve, all the years the blond had to fight for what he wanted against what people told him he could or couldn’t do. Bucky knows that his mother being sick made Steve want to quit school, and he almost abandoned his dreams and hopes, but gladly he was strong enough to keep fighting for what he wanted and do what felt right for him.

Bucky wishes Steve’s mother was still alive, he would’ve gotten down on his knees and thank her for putting him on this earth, for raising him and making him the man he is now. It’s sad to know he’ll never be able to do that, he hopes she can hear him from wherever she is. He isn’t sure about a lot of things in his life but what he has with Steve feels more than right, and for as long as Steve lets him, he plans to stay right here.

He takes a long sip of his glass of water to try to keep his mind clear and come back to reality, he sighs deeply and leans to the side to press a kiss on Steve’s temple, “how come there’s no traffic right now?” Bucky asks as he dunks his sushi in the soy sauce.

“We close the shop from 1 to 2:30-ish in the afternoon, usually to grab some air and eat, so I try not to book anything that will exceed them going over their lunch, before or after, in case they need to tidy up, do sketches or if they need time for something else”, Darcy explains.

“Yeah, Darcy is the best at what she does, she knows exactly what each of us is doing on our clients, she manages the costs for the tattoos, all of the health questionnaires, portfolios, event calendars and social media”, Steve says standing up to throw away the empty packaging.

“I’m just doing my job”, Darcy says shyly.

“I think it goes without saying that we all agree that you go above and beyond what your job description is”, Thor remarks with a smile.

“Thank you guys, you know I really enjoy this job”, Darcy says before she gives her hamburger a big bite.

“You have a really awesome work dynamic, the guys at the shop I used to work at where bums”, Bucky says dunking another sushi roll and accidentally letting it slip off the chopsticks only to part it in half as he attempts to retrieve it, he frowns his lips sadly.

“But I bet you miss it” Darcy says, “Loki is dedicating more of his time to tattooing but he can’t just stop piercing”, she comments and the man beside her nods.

“Yes, I actually miss it, a lot”, Bucky sighs, “I mean, I love my job, but you know, it was really fun”, he says.

“Are you interested in doing it once again?” Loki questions.

“Absolutely!” Bucky nods.

“Guys…” Steve whispers under his breath.

“You want to do it today?” Darcy asks happily.

“Guys…” Steve is starting to say but Bucky interrupts him.

“Are you kidding me? I would love to!” he exclaims with a smile on his face, “I was boring myself to death at the office today, you guys have no idea”, he chuckles.

***

Steve isn’t upset about Darcy’s suggestion, he loves the idea of having Bucky around, but they’ve just started a more serious relationship, and he’s scared that being so much time together Bucky might get bored, maybe he’d see Steve as bossy or think he’s being controlling, they need a new piercer since Loki is starting to tattoo a lot of people because the shop has been getting more clientele than ever.

He has seen some of Bucky’s work, his boyfriend keeps a portfolio gallery on his Facebook for the none explicit works and he is really talented in what he does, even though Bucky only has a few piercings and micro-dermals on him, he’s very good doing all kinds of piercings.

As he expected from the beginning, he’s having a hard time finding anyone with a full skill set and experience like Bucky, or Loki’s for that matter, and someone that would be able to fulfil all the needs and requirements of the shop, but he’s terrified, he really doesn’t want to ruin what’s between them and specially not over something so _stupid_ as a job.

Right now though, he figures he’ll have to let this pass, they need all the help they can get today. A bachelorette party of six had scheduled to get belly button piercings as a commemoration to the wedding, unfortunately, at the very last minute, they had informed they were probably going to be eight instead of six. Darcy had tried to persuade them to re-schedule or stick to the original number but that didn’t work since the girl is a close friend of Jane and Darcy’s, but the woman begged them to do it today and even offered to pay double for the problem, Steve had told them that wasn’t necessary since he also knows the woman and her fiancé. Loki had said he would have to cancel his other appointments for the day, Steve is sure that both of them had seized the opportunity when they saw Bucky. 

But Steve knows well they aren’t suggesting he stayed for one day only.

As they finish their meals, everyone returns to their stations, he walks towards Bucky slowly, he doesn’t want to make his boyfriend feel like he doesn’t want him there, but he needs to tell him that if he wants to back out he can do so.

“Hey…” Steve says hugging Bucky’s body.

“Steve, I know you want me here…” Bucky smiles, putting his hands behind Steve’s n.eck

“How did y…” he frowns his eyebrows in confusion.

“Shh…” Bucky leans forward and gives him a quick kiss, his piercing now warm between their lips, “you’re scared, don’t worry about it,” he shakes his head, “you don’t have to make me an offer until you’re sure about this”, Bucky smiles kindly, “I just want you to know that if this is ever on the table again, I won’t say no”, he smirks before he gives him another tiny kiss, “by the way, this is just today”, Bucky nods.

“You really know how to read me”, Steve whispers.

“I’m learning, baby steps, Rogers”, he winks at him and Steve sighs deeply.

_I love this man._

***

Loki guides him to the other side of the tattoo shop opposite end to Steve’s working station; _talk about far away so close_. It’s okay though, as soon as they finished eating and tidy up the kitchen again, one of Steve’s clients arrived earlier and his boyfriend went back to work on the back piece. Loki takes a kit from under his own and preps up another seat next to his and gives Bucky all the tools he will needs.

“I am going to treat you as an apprentice for all the legal and legislative measures if we ever get sued by any of these ladies”, Loki says walking back to take his seat.

“My permit is active anyway, don’t worry about it”, Bucky assures, “I hope they’re not drunk, I mean, you said it’s a bachelorette’s party?” Bucky asks walking behind him and Loki nods.

“I have a policy to not tattoo or pierce anyone under the influence of alcohol or any other substance, actually all of us have that policy, courtesy of your boyfriend” Loki comments. Bucky feels amazing every time anyone calls Steve his boyfriend and he puffs up proudly about Steve’s iron will.

Bucky leans over on Darcy’s desk while he waits for the girls to arrive, “soooo…” he sighs leaning over to take a peek of what Darcy is typing and gets very disappointed when he sees an Excel page with lots of numbers.

“Heeeey, what’s up, how’s it going?” she says not looking away from the computer screen, “how’s the L. O. V. E. life?” Darcy asks this time glancing up at him.

“Fantastic, I’m very very veryyyyy happy”, he smiles wide, his chin resting up on the heel of his hands, “what about you?” he questions, well aware that Loki is around.

“Steamy”, she winks at him, “also amazing”, she nods.

“Steamy, huh? Is that so? He does look the type”, Bucky mumbles looking back at Loki.

“Are you aware that I can listen to you?” Loki questions, “stop gossiping about me like I wasn’t present”, he remarks blushing a bit.

“You’re the best, cupcake”, Darcy bats her eyelashes behind her glasses teasingly and her boyfriend huffs in response. Bucky and Darcy start giggling as a large group of women begin gathering outside the shop, before they slowly go inside.

“Hello!” a lean short girl greets them. She has dark brown hair, cut in a short bob, clear blue eyes, she’s dressed in all black except for the thick yellow scarf around her neck, “I’m Hope, the bride”, she says cheerfully, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my friends really insisted, if it’s too much trouble we can come some other day”, she says to Bucky with an apologetic smile.

“Don’t worry, girl”, Darcy waves a hand in dismissal, Bucky thinks for a second that they might know each other, “today we’ve got Bucky, he will be helping Loki with your piercings”, Darcy walks around the front desk and hugs the other woman.

“Fantastic, let’s get started!” Hope cheers, “hey, you’re Bucky as in Steve’s Bucky?” she questions.

“I…umm, yeah”, he mumbles quirking an eyebrow at her.

“Don’t worry, I’m not a spy or anything”, she chuckles, “my fiancé is a friend of Sam’s, and then we met Steve, he mentioned you once or twice, Bucky is not a common name”, the woman comments.

“Oh, I see”, he nods, a smirk growing on his lips.

“Bucky is Steve’s boyfrieeeeend”, Darcy says in a teasing tone.

“That’s what Scott meant with Steve Rogers being off the market!” Hope giggles and Bucky blushes a bit but smiles wide.

After that, both men walk towards the back to the piercing station after the girls choose what piece of jewelry they want. They’re going to work on the girl’s piercings one by one while Darcy tries to keep the rest of the women quiet in the lobby. Bucky sits on the side of the room that Loki assigned for him and gets comfortable on the chair, Bucky cracks his finger’s against his palms before he puts on the latex gloves and starts pulling the utensils he’s going to use, it feels great to do this again, he wasn’t lying when he said he misses it. Bucky takes a deep breath before he puts all his concentration on his work.

*** 

Steve is finally clearing out his working station after the long day; there had been quite a commotion outside with the bridal party that was getting piercings, despite of Darcy’s efforts to keep them under control. He even had a few free minutes to say hello to Hope and talk about the wedding preparations, which on her words, _“Scott hasn’t done shit”_. The few glances he had made in Bucky’s way, the man seemed tired, but still, his face looked concentrated and his eyes focused on what he was doing, steady hands and a strong pose. He didn’t looked uncomfortable or annoyed which Steve had been worrying about, everything was fine and he’s awfully glad that they’re going to spend some time just the two of them after that.

Then, there’s a sudden knock on the door, he tosses the damp piece of paper he’s holding in his hand towards the trashcan, and just as he turns around, he smiles at his boyfriend that is standing by the entrance of the room looking down at his boots.

“What’s wrong?” Steve frowns his eyebrows.

“I always have trouble putting these on and I don’t remember having trouble with them today”, Bucky comments, “I’m surprised I’m wearing them, that’s all”, Bucky responds casually smiling up at Steve.

“How can you not remember what boots you put on?” Steve chuckles.

“I was thinking about other stuff in the morning”, he smirks placing both hands on Steve’s neck, “Ready for our date night, boyfriend?” Bucky asks.

“Yup, just let me get my jacket”, Steve responds giving him a tiny kiss before lowering Bucky’s arms.

He walks towards his desk and grabs his coat from the backrest of the chair, he takes a hold of Bucky’s hand and turns off the lights behind them before they walk out into the lobby where Darcy is already shutting down the computer and grabbing her stuff.

“You guys are going out tonight?” she wonders.

“Yeah, we’re going to the movies”, Bucky says leaning on the counter.

“Are you guys going to see Mockingjay?” Darcy asks cheerfully.

“Uum… nah”, the blond shakes his head, “we’re going to the IFC”, Steve answers as he puts on his jacket.

“I thought we were going to the Nitehawk”, Bucky pouts slightly.

“Didn’t you want to see A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night?” Steve questions.

“Yeah, but it’s X-MAS Chopping at the Nitehawk and they’re playing Black Christmas, we can have some dinner during the movie”, Bucky suggests with a toothy smile.

“Ok, then the Nitehawk it is”, Steve gives in without effort.

“Yayyyy!” his boyfriend cheers. Steve can’t deny Bucky anything, if he wants the moon he’ll give it to him, _or at least I’ll try_.

“C’mon, let’s get going”, Steve says signaling both of them to walk.

He closes the shop behind them, and both of them accompanied Darcy to her car. It’s a cold December night, dark puffy clouds over their heads and the upcoming rain barely drizzling over them.

“Loki never stays back with you?” Bucky asks looking around; Darcy points her index finger inside the car to show a sleeping Loki on the passenger seat.

“He thinks that if he comes outside before me I won’t take too long to finish closing, sucker”, she giggles and Bucky lets out a big laugh, waking Loki up in the process.

“Are we leaving, darling?” he wonders poking his head out of the window.

“Yes, we are”, Darcy answers giving him a sweet kiss after she leans over.

“See you later, guys!” Bucky waves at them over his shoulder as Steve and him turn around to walk back towards Steve’s motorcycle. “I’m so glad it isn’t raining that much anymore”, Bucky remarks while he puts on the helmet that Steve handed him.

Steve looks at the motorcycle for a moment and then looks back at Bucky, the brunet stares at him with a puzzled expression,“Do you want to ride it?” Steve asks shyly.

“Well, that’s how we’re getting to the Nitehawk, right?” Bucky asks, clearly confused.

“What I mean is, if you want to drive?” Steve smirks.

***

Bucky can’t believe his eyes, ears and senses that he’s going to drive Steve’s motorcycle, he has ridden and driven several motorcycles before but Steve trusting him with his own is incredible. He takes care of it like it’s his baby and Bucky knows that this is something he shouldn’t take for granted.

He sits down carefully; he closes his palms around the handlebars tightly and waits for Steve to sit down behind him. His boyfriend grabs onto his waist, his chest pressed against Bucky’s back warmly and it all seems surreal.

The air is cold against his face but his hands are a bit warmer since Steve let him use his gloves, the pavement is wet under their feet, which seems to be a little more dangerous than what he feels comfortable with, and he tries to keep the speeding under control but Steve seems okay with it and that gives him courage to drive a bit faster.

Sadly, the ride is short, the Nitehawk is only a few blocks away from the shop and the dream is short-lived, although quite enjoyable, Bucky can’t wipe off the smile on his face. Steve gets off the motorcycle but immediately takes off Bucky’s helmet off and gives him a wet and cold sloppy kiss.

The blond smiles sweetly at him after it, “that was really nice, you’re a very smooth rider”, Steve nods.

Bucky blushes, feeling coyness for the first time in his life, _I think._

“C’mon, I wonder what the menu is tonight”, he says grabbing Steve’s hand and pulling him into the theatre.

The place is packed despite the weather, as always, it’s a Friday night after all. Bucky knows this is one of Steve’s favorite places, they screen up-coming movies along with all-time classics, cult movies mostly, and both of them enjoy them but Steve is a nerd about them and Bucky finds it fascinating. They spend some time talking by the bar since the night is barely starting at the place, Steve asks for a Gorilla Café, _whatever the fuck that was_ , and for Bucky, a beer.

By the time they go inside the screening room, Bucky’s stomach is growling at him, they get in earlier to catch the reels they play before each presentation, they order a full meal each of them and sit back to enjoy the movie and dinner, if they share a quick kiss or hold hands from time to time, nobody notices in the darkness of the room, or even if they do, it doesn’t really matter.

It’s very late when the movie ends, it being a twelve o’clock screening and all, but Bucky is very happy, it had been an amazing day overall, this kind of nights is what makes his relationship with Steve even better, they can share time together just being themselves, maybe not even say a word and spend comfortable silence on each other’s presence, enjoying the good company, they could be doing nothing, just sitting in a couch while Steve draws and Bucky reads and still will be one of Bucky’s favorite moments.

They walk to the front door and as they go out, they notice it’s raining steadily, the sky is dark and the air cold, the drops of water big and coming down fast crashing into the floor and buildings.

“Maybe you should stay at my house”, Bucky suggests as they walk outside fixing their jackets.

“I can’t today, I have to wake up really early”, Steve closes the distance between their bodies. Bucky looks up at him under his damp eyelashes, he brushes Steve’s hair back a little and Steve leans forward, giving him tiny little open mouth kisses. He finishes up with 3 loud sounding kisses on Bucky’s forehead, “c’mon, let’s go before it rains harder”, Steve pulls him by the arm while they walk towards the motorcycle.

Thankfully, the ride to Bucky’s apartment is fast, Bucky gets off quickly since it started raining more on their way there, Steve kisses him goodbye and waits there to see that Bucky gets inside the building before he leaves.

_What is he doing?_

Bucky turns around when he reaches the door, his fingers curled around the handle, “GET OFF THAT DAMN MOTORCYCLE!” he yells at his boyfriend.

“But I gotta do my thing tomorrow!” Steve replies as the rain comes down pouring.

“I’m not saying we should have sex, Rogers!” Bucky shouts, “I’m not going to let you drive back home in this rain!” Bucky announces, “c’mon, it’s freezing!” he huffs.

“Okay, okay!” Steve chuckles, finally getting off the motorcycle and taking the cover from a bag on the side of it to put it on. His boyfriend skips over quickly to where Bucky is standing, a wide smile spread on his lips, “no sex, right? I really gotta wake up early”, Steve asks giggling.

“No sex”, Bucky says leaning in to give him a kiss as he tries to open the door.

***

They walk up the stairs holding hands and occasionally giving each other kisses, they had agreed not to have sex at the door but that doesn’t mean that Steve can’t kiss his boyfriend. When they reach Bucky’s floor, Steve places his hands around Bucky’s waist and leans forward, placing wet kisses on the side of the brunet’s neck, his skin is damp because of the rain but he’s warm either way.

Steve alternates from sucking the tender and sensitive skin to kissing that same spot, he licks Bucky’s neck and nibbles his earlobe while the brunet is trying to insert the key into the keyhole, his hands shaking every time that Steve grip gets tighter around his waist.

“St… Steve”, Bucky gasps, “let me open the door”, he moans.

Steve lowers his hands and looks down, he steps back a bit to let Bucky open the apartment, “yeah, yeah”, he chuckles.

Bucky hurries up and the both of them walk inside, his boyfriend walks towards his room after he tosses the keys into a bowl on top of a coffee table, “c’mon, big boy, let’s take a shower”, he says while he takes off his clothes along with his shoulder brace and Steve just stares amused, “we have to hurry up though, the hot water doesn’t last very long”, Bucky sighs.

The couple walk into the small bathroom with nothing but boxers, then they get rid of those and step in the shower, it’s impossible for Steve not to stare at his boyfriend’s body but Bucky mentioned the hot water doesn’t last, he knows that Bucky wouldn’t have minded about steamy shower sex but he doesn’t plan to freeze to death, so that’s a no.

He washes Bucky’s hair, his fingertips massaging his scalp in circular motions and Bucky takes the opportunity to scrub Steve’s chest and abdomen, a concentrated look on his face while he bites down his lower lip. Steve pushes Bucky back to rinse his hair and leans in to kiss him under the water, the brunet’s eyes tightly close.

“Soap”, Steve frowns his nose when he tastes the substance in his mouth.

“HA!” Bucky exclaims, “who thought about kissing me when you’re rinsing my hair”, his boyfriend giggles. Steve finishes passing his hands through Bucky’s hair, washing the shampoo off completely.

“Turn around”, Bucky says, he starts rubbing Steve’s back softly, Steve tries to keep his breath under control while he moans silently, Bucky’s fingers soft against his skin. Steve turns back around to face him while Bucky rubs his own chest and the blond washes his hair.

“You’re gorgeous”, Steve whispers, looking at him up and down biting his lip, the brunet is standing close to the water spray, the droplets going down his skin fast, washing away the soap from his fair skin and Steve has to fight the urge to put his tongue over his pierced nipples or kiss the spot where the ink from his tattoo ends and the skin starts. Bucky smiles at him blushing a bit, _it’s amazing how the tables can turn_ , “scoot over, I need to get this off”, Steve giggles.

They abandon the bathroom in a tangle, they put on boxers and pajama pants because of their previous agreement, Bucky had assured him this isn’t about sex and Steve is okay with that, the blond is glad about it since he’s really tired because of the long day, but now after the much needed shower, not so much, and now he’s starting to change his mind about it.

Steve cups his boyfriend’s face tenderly, the warmness of his skin against his calloused palms, his micro-dermals above Steve’s thumb and his piercing slick against Steve’s lips. He walks backwards while Bucky guides the both of them towards his room, the blond giggles when his back bumps against the door, one of Bucky’s hands on his waist and the other trying to get a hold of the doorknob. When Bucky manages to succeed such important task without parting their mouths in the process, Steve pulls Bucky inside the room and towards the bed; the brunet pushes the door close with his foot.

He sits down on the mattress bringing Bucky down with him, pulling him upwards until his head is over the pillows, his boyfriend on top of him, each of his knees by the side of Steve’s hips and his ass right over his crotch. Steve lowers his hands slowly until he meets his boyfriend’s round ass-cheeks, Bucky squeals inside his mouth in surprise when Steve squeezes the tender skin and the blond chuckles softly.

“I thought you said no sex”, Bucky whispers against his neck, Steve can feel the smile spread on his boyfriend’s lips.

“Yeah, I though so too”, Steve says before a moan escapes his mouth, his eyebrows knit together when Bucky sucks a love bite on the crook of his neck, then he chuckles on the back of his throat and moves down to do the same to him.

Bucky lowers his legs and places one of them between Steve’s, Bucky is grinding his hips up against Steve’s, the blond can’t help but do the same as he feels the blood rush to his cock.

***

This, this right here, Bucky just can’t get enough of it, enjoying every second that he’s with Steve, his hands touching him with such care that make Bucky swell with feelings. Having Steve under him whimpering every time that Bucky places his fingers over his nipples or when he moves his leg up and down against his dick is making Bucky’s own dick twitch.

But then, there’s a sudden knock at the door.

“James, I need help!” Natasha yells from outside.

“Ughh”, Bucky grunts between kisses, “maybe if we don’t do any noise she might think I’m not here”, he whispers.

“C’mon, I know you are there!” she knocks the door louder.

“She’s a spy, I swear”, Bucky chuckles, “coming!” he says back with a huff. Steve giggles and gives him a last kiss before he let him go, “I won’t take long”, he shakes his head before he walks towards the door.

“Okay”, Steve smiles, leaning his head on one of his arms.

Bucky takes a deep breath when he’s by the door after he puts on some pants he found on the floor on his way there, his penis was starting to react to Steve’s silent moans and touches but luckily it isn’t hard yet and at least Natasha isn’t going to tease him about it.

“What’s so important, Natalia?” he asks bitterly when he opens the door, but he frowns his eyebrows when he notices that Natasha isn’t standing outside his door anymore.

Bucky walks to the end of the hall towards Natasha’s room and goes in right away, not bothering to knock the door, the girl is standing by her closet putting away the highest heels that Bucky has ever seen.

“So?” he asks annoyed.

“Unzip my dress”, she demands.

“Natalia, you know I think you’re beautiful and we did tried once, but how many times do I have to tell you I don’t swing that way?” Bucky chuckles.

“Shut up, asshole, help me!” she orders and he giggles some more.

“Why are you dressed up so fancy anyway?” Bucky questions walking over to her.

“I had a date with Clint”, she says.

“Clint? Does that guy even know what shampoo is?” Bucky laughs.

“You’ll be surprised”, Natasha answers with a tiny smirk on her lips.

He lied, Natasha needed help taking off _that stupid_ dress and it was impossible, every time he tried to pull the zipper down it got stuck with the fabric on its sides and he had to close it back up, he just wanted to run to the kitchen and get a pair of scissors to cut it off every time he remembered his hot boyfriend spread on the bed.

“Why are you in such a hurry? Calm down”, Natasha chuckles as he finally manages to nudge the zipper down a bit more.

“There’s a hunky blond waiting in my room”, Bucky whispers between his teeth.

“I know, Steve won’t mind you being late”, she says.

“That’s why I’m trying to hurry up!” He exclaims nudging the zipper down, “And how do you know?” Bucky wonders.

“By the look of your hair and that fresh thing on your neck”, Natasha comments and he giggles, “also his bike is downstairs, dummy”, she says.

When he finally manages to get the zipper down, Natasha thanks him and Bucky just leans forward and gives her a hurried kiss on her temple before he trots back to his room.

As he opens the room, he’s ready to jump back on the bed but he finds Steve already under the covers, he thinks he was faking it at first but when he inspects his breathing and face, he knows the blond is fast asleep.

Bucky unfolds the blankets on his side of the bed and takes a second to appreciate his calm and sleeping boyfriend, Steve is resting on his right side, his left arm spread across the mattress inviting him in, he looks peaceful but tired, his mouth slightly open and almost drooling on the pillow.

He gets under the covers next to him, his head over Steve’s arm using it as a pillow and a hand over the blond’s waist. _No sex after all_. Bucky leans forward and places a little kiss on Steve’s nose and hums happily cuddling next to him, Morpheus taking care of the rest of the night not so long after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy, I haven't forgotten about you <3
> 
> I've been in such a weird mood lately that I haven't been able to write at all, but don't worry, I still have a few chapters left until you catch up with me. As always, thank you for your kind and encouraging words, I love reading from you guys.
> 
> Have a lovely week and be safe!
> 
> P.S. I already watched Captain America: Civil War, let me know what you guys think of it :D


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi c:

Steve wakes up early in the morning and asks Bucky if he wants some breakfast, he just grunts in response, _or at least that’s what I remember_ , then he goes out of the room and Bucky thinks he hears him talking with Natasha on their kitchen, and about half an hour later, his boyfriend comes back into the room and Bucky is finally awake, _kinda_. 

“Hey, sleepyhead”, Steve smiles sitting down on the bed next to him.

“What time is it?” Bucky questions before a yawn escapes his mouth.

“Almost eight”, the blond informs.

“Uuughh”, Bucky grunts, “come back to bed”, he says stretching his arms towards Steve.

“As much as I’d like to, and it does sound temping”, Steve places his hands over Bucky’s, resting them on the brunet’s chest, “I have to be early at the shop today”, he leans forward and kisses Bucky’s forehead.

“Okaaaay”, Bucky frowns his lips.

“So, I better get changed”, Steve says, he kisses Bucky again, this time on his nose before he stands back up and walks towards the closet.

Bucky lays there in bed but he follows his boyfriend with his eyes, Steve is wearing the loosest pair of black sweatpants that Bucky owns along with an old Subhumans black t-shirt, _or at least it used to be black_. The guy strips off of those clothes painfully slow and Bucky is sure he’s teasing him; Steve is now standing wearing nothing but boxers as he browses through Bucky’s closet.

“You know, I love it when you wear my clothes”, Bucky says fixing the blankets over him.

“Why? Because they don’t fit?” Steve chuckles as he puts a shirt over his head, “see?” he says lifting his hands in the air.

He put on a grey Henley that it’s a bit too tight on him but he doesn’t look bad at all, _not like he can look bad, ever_. The blond walks to the other side of the room to grab his jeans from where he left them the previous night and puts them on, then he moves to his side of the bed and looks around for his phone.

“You don’t look bad at all, if something, I want you in my clothes to take them off”, Bucky giggles.

“Really funny”, Steve chuckles, “I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back”, he says.

While his boyfriend is away, the only thing that Bucky does is lay there on his bed with his arms crossed under his head using them as a pillow while he looks up at the celling, thinking about everything and nothing, it’s incredible how they’ve been officially a couple for only a week and Bucky can’t remember a time where Steve wasn’t by his side, or maybe he can but doesn’t want to go back.

“Bucky?” Steve questions.

He blinks a couple of times to clear his mind and turns his head around to see Steve standing by the left side of the bed again, his face freshly washed and his hair perfectly combed, “did you say something?” Bucky asks.

“I though you fell asleep again”, Steve chuckles, “I’m going to my house after work but I’ll see you at the show tonight, alright?” the blond says.

“You remembered”, Bucky smiles.

“Of course”, Steve nods sitting down on the bed again, “you told me before we went to D.C.”, he smirks passing a hand through Bucky’s hair, pushing it away from his face.

“That’s right but since I didn’t say anything about it again”, he shrugs a shoulder, “I think I’m eating with Nat before the show”, he informs.

“She mentioned something about it, have a good time”, Steve smiles, “now I better get going”, he nods.

Steve leans forward one more time and puts his lips on Bucky’s, the brunet closes his eyes right away and hums happily into the kiss but it’s over way too soon, “wait”, Bucky whispers against the blond’s lips.

Bucky puts his hands on the back of his boyfriend’s neck, carefully trying to not disturb his neatly combed hair, Steve chuckles on the back on his throat, he seems to be happy to oblige and gives in. They part their lips to share a deeper kiss; Bucky’s piercing slick against Steve’s mouth, Bucky knows he probably tastes like dirt where Steve tastes fresh and minty, but the blond doesn’t seem to mind, he just keeps kissing Bucky as he breathes through his nose.

“Bucky”, Steve whispers, _kiss_ , “we have”, he says, _kiss_ , “to stop”, he chuckles, _kiss_.

They keep turning their heads as the kiss grows into something hotter, Bucky trying to keep Steve in place with his hands while the blond has his hands planted on the mattress on each side of Bucky’s head, supporting his body weight on the heels of his hands.

“Babe…” Steve murmurs.

“Mmhm?” Bucky hums.

“I really gotta go”, he says.

“Fineeee”, the brunet grunts.

His boyfriend stands up again and checks for his things one more time before he leaves with a promise that he’ll call later and that he’s definitely going to SHIELD that night. Bucky follows him to the door, they share a quick kiss and the brunet manages to keep his hands to himself, he waves him goodbye and closes the door behind him, _and as the lazy ass that I am_ , Bucky turns around and decides to sleep the rest of the morning.

***

Steve arrives at the shop earlier than his usual hours but not as early as he expected, but he’s not complaining, making out for a few minutes with his boyfriend is something he will never get tired of. He still has some time before Darcy arrives so he can get to work on the art pieces he left on the shop to finish. Luckily, those pieces are almost done so he can send them to Pepper’s way in no time.

But on the other hand, the ones he has home, they’re still missing more than a few things but he’s proud of how they’re turning out and he feels confident about his timing. Creativity and imagination have never been an issue for Steve, that’s why he has made a name for himself around artists all over the world. When Steve was little and he couldn’t go out pass five in the afternoon because of the weather, he would spend his days drawing everything he could: at the hospital waiting for his mom to finish her shift or for some weird infection he caught, he would draw people interacting with each other, empty halls, the school playground, the guy sleeping under a tree at the park, anything and anywhere, whenever he could get his hands on a piece of paper and a pencil.

The most important thing, and that’s what has help him to keep growing as a an artist and also as a person, _like my ma’ always said_ , is to stay humble and be thankful no matter what, to keep trying to be better, but not better than other people, but to better than the guy he was the day before.

He walks back to the lobby to set the music player to listen something to get in the mood, he chooses to play ‘Big Kiss Goodnight’ by Trapped Under Ice, he bangs his head as the riff of the song starts while he moves to his working station, he uncovers the canvases on the corner of the room and starts his day. His hand moving across the artwork, brush between his fingers smudging paint all over as the minutes pass in a blur.

“Steve?” a girl’s voice says after the bell on the door goes off.

_Is it ten already?_

He looks up to the clock on the wall, Darcy has arrived, two hours felt like twenty minutes for him, but when he stares down at the canvas he’s working on he smiles at it, gladly it’s almost done.

“I’m back here”, he yells.

“Hey, did you notice that the place next door just cleared?” Darcy says when she comes inside his working station.

“Really? I thought they were just doing some renovations”, Steve comments.

“I don’t think so, it’s completely empty now”, the girl shrugs.

“Oh, I see”, Steve frowns his eyebrows.

“Weren’t you interested on it at the beginning of the year? I mean, since this place is getting really crowded”, she lifts an eyebrow behind her thick-rimmed glasses.

“Yeah, I should get into it”, Steve sighs.

“I’ll get you the number”, she smiles wide and he nods.

The girl walks over to where he’s sitting and takes a peek over his shoulder, looking down at the piece of art in front of him, “Wooooaah, Steve, that is…” she lets out a low whistle.

“What? Too much?” he questions in concern.

“Not at all, it’s amazing”, she opens her eyes wide.

“Thank you”, he says kindly.

“So, before we start the day, I wanted to talk to you about something”, she whispers.

_Please don’t quit, please don’t quit!_

“Of course”, he nods, “have a seat”, Steve points towards the couch on the corner. He stands up to put away the canvas, covering it along with the other pieces, he grabs his bottle of water and takes a sip before he returns to his chair and scoots closer to Darcy, “what’s up? Is everything alright?” he asks.

“Everything’s great, that’s the deal”, she says and he gives her a questioning look, the girl sighs before she continues, “listen, I don’t want you to think I’m getting into your business but I believe that I’m a part of the team and I’ve made a few observations”, she says.

“Of course you are, and if you feel like you need to smack me in the head for something you’re free to do so”, Steve chuckles.

“I’ll take that in mind, but not now”, the brunette giggles, “this is about yesterday”, she clears.

“Okay, I’m all ears”, he smiles.

“I know that Loki is too proud to say it but he’s been having a lot of work lately, you know that”, she says and he nods, “even more that he can handle but he won’t say anything about it”, Darcy sighs.

“Yeah, I’ve come to notice that”, he says, “I need to start looking for a new piercer ASAP so he can dedicate all of his time to tattooing”, Steve comments.

“About that, you saw how Bucky helped a lot yesterday, haven’t you considered him? I mean, he’s really good at it and I think he would be a good addition to the team”, she shrugs.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know if he would want to, you know that can get a bit weird sometimes”, he says.

“I understand”, she nods sadly.

“This place has been growing so fast, we need to expand in general, and you’ve help me a lot with that”, he smiles at her, “I’ll tell you what, Imma talk to Thor and Loki when they get here and see what they think about it”, he says and Darcy smiles, “but…” he points his index finger at her and she opens her eyes wide, “this is not just on me, and if they don’t agree I won’t push them”, Steve shakes his head.

“But what if they do?” she asks hopefully.

“Well”, Steve sighs, “I’ll ask Bucky”, he nods slowly.

“Yeeesss!” She cheers in success.

Darcy stands up and walks towards the door, “I better get to work, I’ll find you the number from the guy next door”, she smirks back at him over her shoulder.

“Thanks Darcy”, he smiles.

_This is gonna be a long day._

***

“C’mon Natalia, I’m starving!” Bucky demands while he plays with the chair, going up and down and doing full circles on it.

“Stop that James, you’re going to mess up my chair!” she demands from where she’s standing putting away some papers, “I know I said you should come here more often but I’ve changed my mind”, Natasha chuckles.

“I know you can’t live without me”, Bucky gives her a cheeky smile.

“You always talk nonsense when you’re hungry”, she turns around to face him, “let’s go”, Natasha nods her head towards the door of her office.

“Yayyyy!” he cheers standing up, “what are we eating?” Bucky questions.

“I want noodles”, she announces.

“Sounds good”, he hums, “you’re not coming back today, right?” the man questions.

“Noup”, she shakes her head, “I wanna go to the show”, Natasha shrugs a shoulder casually.

“Aaaww, thanks”, he smiles sarcastically.

“Not for you, I’m seeing Clint there”, she smirks.

“That’s why you look so put together”, he lifts an eyebrow at her, “you’re hurting my feelings”, Bucky frowns his lips.

“Yeah, right”, she whispers, “like you pay much attention when Steve is around”, Natasha comments, “besides, I always look put together”, she says casually.

“Touché”, he giggles.

They get out of Natasha’s office and say goodbye to some people before they walk out towards the subway, Bucky didn’t brought his bike since Natasha is coming along with him, and also because he’s hopeful about going to Steve’s place after the show.

_Can you blame me?_

Half an hour later they sit across from each other at Nat’s favorite Japanese restaurant, both with a huge bowl of Ramen and a glass of tea, chatting about their week, catching up on their lives and sharing a moment for old times’ sake.

“So yesterday”, Natasha starts, “how did you feel about it?” she asks.

“About helping at Steve’s shop?” he questions and she nods, “it was good, I missed it, the piercing, keeps me grounded, it’s fun”, he says before he puts a mouthful of food in his mouth.

“I know, that’s how I met you”, she smiles kindly, “you could help there more often”, Natasha suggests.

“I would love to but I don’t want to impose”, Bucky comments.

“But what if Steve asked you to work there, what would you say?” his friend wonders after a long sip of her glass of tea.

“Fuck yes”, he chuckles, “no but seriously though, it would be great”, Bucky nods.

“Does it has to do with the fact that you’ll be all over him twenty-four seven?” Natasha smirks teasingly.

“Obviously”, Bucky giggles, “also because that place is amazing, everyone is drama-free, they work like a team doing what they love”, he shrugs a shoulder, “sign me up”, he smiles.

Natasha continues to eat her bowl of ramen while Bucky keeps explaining how great it would be to work in a place like the Star Spangled Tattoo Shop, he hasn’t dedicated much time to look for a place since he stopped doing it, with his work at the Star Tower, translating other things as a freelancer, the band and tour, it’s all been too much lately, but not because he hasn’t found another shop means he doesn’t think about it.

By the time they’re done with their food, they head on their way to SHIELD for the show. The friends walk side by side and close to each other on the cold December evening, Natasha with her arm hooked around Bucky’s, dragging him around the streets towards the subway, the day has been really cold and the clouds look packed over their heads, warning them for an upcoming rainy night, just like the previous day. They rush into the subway and just by the time they take their seats, Bucky’s phone buzzes inside the pocket of his jeans.

 **Dum Dum:** Do u plan to get early to da show?

 **Bucky:** Yeah, I’m on my way.

 **Dum Dum:** Great, so u can help me unload our shit.

 **Bucky:** Sure, I’ll be there in a few.

***

Steve goes straight to his house as soon as he finishes his shift at the shop, they had a lot of customers as usual and the hours passed quickly. He arrives home, cooks himself a proper meal and plays with Captain for a while before he moves to the studio to continue working on the other art pieces. He sets an alarm on his phone to let him know what time to leave the house, when he gets to work and feels inspired he tends to lose track of time but tonight he wants to get early to SHIELD to see his boyfriend’s band.

He didn’t talked to Bucky about what they’re doing after the show, and he has no problem with him coming over after, since it was time for Steve to stay at Bucky’s the day before, but whatever they do is okay with him. By the time the alarm goes off, he stands up and goes to his room to grab a ticker coat since it looks like it’s going to be another rainy night. He directs himself downstairs and fills Captain’s plates with food and water before he leaves.

“Hey buddy, I’ll be back in no time”, he kneels to pet the dog behind his ears, his four legged friend responds by licking a long strip on the side of his head, “sure thing, Cap”, he giggles, “I’ll miss you too”, Steve smiles before he stands back up.

It’s drizzling when Steve arrives at SHIELD, he gets off his motorcycle quickly and trots his way to the door and says hello to the people there as he pays for his ticket. Coulson has always insisted he doesn’t have to buy his entrance since he’s considered on the guest list, Steve likes to support the local scene and the touring bands in any way he can, so by no means he ever gets in without paying.

The show is about to start and he has no idea who’s playing first, he makes a B-line to the bar and he’s greeted by Sharon, who tells him that his friends and boyfriend are inside the stage room already, Logan also says hello, or at least that’s what Steve thinks the nod of his head means. He walks to the back of the place and spots his friends looking as the girls on stage are doing their last sound check to start playing.

“There he is!” Sam yells first.

“Hi, guys”, Steve smiles, he leans forward and shakes Sam’s hand along with a small hug, and next does the same with Clint.

“You’re wet, and not the good kind”, Clint points out.

“Tasteless”, Nat smacks Clint on the back of his head, the man mouths ‘sorry?’ along with a cheeky smile.

“It started raining on my way here”, Steve comments.

“We thought you weren’t gonna make it”, Natasha says.

“I got carried away with work and also the rain”, he shrugs before he gives her a kiss on the cheek.

He loves his friends, he truly does, and he enjoys spending as much time as he can with them, they care about him, they’re fun and they always make him feel welcome, and even though he likes to go to shows, lets face it, he didn’t exactly went to SHIELD for them or any band in particular, although the show seems promising.

“Hey there”, Steve whispers taking a couple of steps to the right.

“Hi, boyfriend”, Bucky smiles wide.

Steve smiles back, he’s sure he looks like an idiot with his lovey-dovey eyes but this time he can’t care any less, he just can’t get enough of this man in front of him. The piercings on his face looking brighter than ever, his hair messy and pushed away from his face, black and distressed DESCENDENTS t-shirt, black ripped jeans, two belts that do nothing to hold his pants in place and black Dr. Martens boots on his feet with yellow laces on them.

The brunet places his right hand up in Steve’s head and runs his fingers through his damp hair, he rests it on the back of his neck while he leans forward and places a tiny kiss on Steve’s lips, “I didn’t missed you guys, right?” Steve questions.

“No, we’re up after them”, Bucky points towards the stage.

“Oh, great”, Steve nods, he places his hands on Bucky’s shoulders and rubs his palms against the bare skin of his boyfriend’s arms, “aren’t you cold?” he asks.

“Not really, I had a lot of clothes on but I got suffocated in here”, he says taking a step forward, he puts his hands on Steve’s hips and closes his arms around it, Steve embraces him into the hug as Bucky rests the side of his face on his chest, right under Steve’s chin, “although, you’re welcome to warm me up”, Bucky giggles and the blond chuckles and blushes at the same time.

***

“I’m ready, just let me know when you are”, Bucky yells at Dum Dum.

A few minutes later, when Dum Dum manages to fix the double pedal on his drum set, the band starts with Bucky’s usual, “we are The Howling Commandos, support your scene and the touring bands, thanks for being here, go crazy!” he says on the microphone.

When Bucky is playing he normally doesn’t pay attention to the people on his surroundings, he does get exited when he sees people singing along with him, and even lets them take a hold of the microphone if someone feels like doing so, he concentrates on playing his guitar, as dirty and loud as possible. He has been told before that he’s a good front-man, he interacts with people when he wants to, but even when he doesn’t, their fans don’t feel excluded from the show, he never stands still, he goes to one side of the stage to the other, to putting a foot over Dum Dum’s drums, he jumps around, lifts his guitar, kneels, yells, screams or whatever he feels like doing.

Their set-list is short, fast and loud, with no stops between songs, but sometimes it gets a bit hectic that they need a couple of seconds to fix any technical difficulties. By the fourth song, they have to take some time off because one of the strings on Monty’s guitar broke; the guy rips it off and continues without it.

Bucky takes the small window of time and removes his guitar and rests it against one of the amps, he folds his right arm behind his head and pulls the collar of his shirt to take it off, a few people whistle and yell but he doesn’t pay much attention, he just chuckles and tosses it towards the back of the stage. He leaves his shoulder brace on this time; he fixes the strap on his guitar after he puts it on, and then moves the microphone stand closer to him before he looks up. His friends are standing on the right side of the stage, close to the front, he can’t see much because of the bright lights above the stage pointing at them, but he knows they are there. He puts his hand over his forehead to see more clearly, he spots his boyfriend right away, his golden blond hair standing out from the rest, he smirks behind the microphone and winks at Steve, right before he strums the thick strings of his guitar.

The set is over in no time, the four of them tired and sweaty but with smiles on their faces, they unplug their stuff and carry them to the back of the stage to let the next band set up their things. The girls from ‘Heroes For Hire’, the band that just played, are still hanging out there along with Luke, putting away their instruments. Bucky is not a big fan of the pop-punk genre but he does enjoy a good energetic show, and these girls put on quite the set.

“You fucking killed it as usual”, Luke says to them.

“Thanks”, Bucky shakes his hand.

“Hey, lemme introduce you guys”, the bald man clasps his hands, “the fine man in the bowler hat is Dum Dum”, he says and the redhead lifts his hat, “then the Royal European blood is Monty”, Luke chuckles.

“Ladies”, he does a small bow.

“The other beautiful chocolate man, aside from myself, is Gabe”, he points, “and this hot shirtless guy is Bucky”, he taps Bucky’s right shoulder, “but sorry girls, he’s gay, and taken”, Luke laughs.

“Maybe in another life”, the brunet shrugs.

Then it’s time for their introductions; a five girl pop-punk band is even better than it sounds, they look badass and like they can take down anybody on their way, all of them beautiful and talented, even Bucky can tell that. First, the front-woman, Jennifer, tall and muscular, she looks like she can crush anybody, her long hair dyed a deep shade of green that matches her eyes perfectly, fair skin and a thick New York accent; drummer, Ava, a Latina raised in Los Angeles, black hair and brown eyes, petite figure with strong arms; main guitar, Elektra, _that’s her real name_ , Greek girl with a small frame, deep blue eyes and long black hair, tanned skin; bass, Colleen, fierce Asian girl, auburn hair and blue eyes; and lastly, second guitar, Felicia, platinum blonde hair, green-blue eyes and a _bitch_ face expression.

“Nice to meet you all”, Colleen nods before she walks away with her bass case in hand.

“You wanna put that back on the car?” Elektra asks her and she nods.

“Anyway, I got better things to do, or people”, Felicia chuckles, “I saw a hot blond guy among the crowd”, she tosses her hair behind her shoulder, “later”, she makes a peace sign.

_That better not be Steve._

“Stop being such a puta, Licia”, Ava yells to her.

“Bite me!” the girl says back.

“You need a leash”, Ava chuckles and the girl flips her finger over her shoulder as she walks away, Jennifer shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

“So, guys, Luke told me all about your tour a while ago”, Jennifer says, “we’re planning on doing a 2 weeks tour around March next year, would you like to join us?” she questions.

“Whoa, that would be great”, Dum Dum nods and Bucky sighs.

_Shit._

Bucky would to love, he would have said yes right away if somebody asked him a month ago, but he was away for a week and the tour was great but Steve wasn’t, and this would be double the time, he has no idea what to do.

“Imma be their roadie”, Luke comments proudly, “you don’t have to answer now, talk to Gabe and Monty, you have time, I’ll send you the details”, the man says before he walks out of the room followed by the girls.

“You’re not so sure about it”, Dum Dum notices.

“I’ll love to go, but…” Bucky shakes his head, “I don’t know”, he looks down at his hands.

“Is this about Steve?” the man in the bowler hat wonders.

“Maybe”, Bucky whispers.

“I’m sure he’d be okay with it, talk to him and let me know what’s up and I’ll tell Gabe and Monty”, Dum Dum pats his naked shoulder before he leaves the room.

Bucky sighs one more time before he finally goes to put his guitar inside the case to go back and enjoy the rest of the show, even though that the only thing he’s thinking right now is how is this going to play out for him, he knows that Steve is going to say that he should go for it, but he doesn’t want another incident like before, and also because he said he was going with Steve to California, if the tour dates interfere with that, the answer is no, no place for debate.

***

Steve is waiting on the side of the stage for his boyfriend to come out, he saw everyone return, even said hello to the girls from ‘Heroes For Hire’ that Luke introduced to him, and also the Howling Commandos, everyone went back to the lobby, everyone but his boyfriend.

“Bucky?” Steve wonders as he enters the backstage area.

“In here!” the brunet yells.

“I was wondering where you were”, he says walking towards him.

Bucky is kneeling putting away his guitar inside the case and nobody else is there; Steve kneels next to him and helps with the chords and pedals, “this is always a pain in the ass”, Bucky comments, “I need new gear, the chords are old and twisted and this fucking case is coming apart”, he chuckles bitterly standing back up.

He follows and brushes off the dirt from his knees before he straightens his back, “is that all?” Steve questions.

“Yep”, he nods, “so, how was it?” Bucky asks, “did you like the set?” he questions.

“Yes, you guys sounded great”, Steve smirks, “you looked good”, he says.

“Just good?” Bucky lifts his eyebrow at him.

“Well, not just good”, Steve says taking a couple of steps forward and Bucky takes the same steps back until he bumps into the wall behind him.

“What else?” Bucky asks slowly, looking right into Steve’s eyes.

Steve places his right hand around his boyfriend’s neck, squeezing with a tiny amount of strength, his index finger and thumb holding his jaw in place, Steve stares down at Bucky with a predatory look on his face, his arm firm and his feet planted on the floor, his legs slightly open trapping Bucky’s feet between his. He notices that Bucky is loving every second of it, his eyes almost black under the dim light of the room.

He leans forward so his mouth is right next to Bucky’s right ear and Steve feels under his palm when the brunet’s Adam’s apple bobs swallowing a big lump of saliva.

“You’re so hot”, Steve sighs, “all I could think of was that I wanted to rip the rest of your clothes off”, he whispers, “and fuck you senseless, right there on the stage”, he says before nibbling Bucky’s earlobe between his teeth.

“Oh, shiiiiit”, Bucky moans in the back of his throat as he let his head fall back and hits the wall.

He means that, every word. The first time he saw Bucky, just like today, all those days ago, he blew Steve’s mind, the guy is talented and gorgeous, and then he got to know him and he turned out to be the man that Steve wants to spend the rest of his life with. He knows every inch of Bucky’s body now, he recognizes his little noises and pleads, mannerisms and gestures, what turns him on and what makes him angry. And for Steve, being aware that Bucky knows those things about him too, and that he’s able to put his hand around his throat and he won’t get scare or run away, he trusts him, he wants him and sometimes Steve still can’t believe how in the world he got so lucky.

_So I do this because I can._

Bucky winking at him while he looks sweaty and half naked made Steve’s knees go weak, so he guesses the only thing he can do is return the favor.

“But I guess that will have to wait”, Steve smirks leaning back.

“Aww c’mon!” Bucky whines, “I shouldn’t have asked”, he shakes his head, “you’re such a teaser, Rogers”, Bucky chuckles.

“You’re not wrong”, he giggles, “the next band is about to start”, Steve comments.

“Okay, let’s go, I’ll take this to Dum Dum’s car later”, Bucky said as he puts on his shirt over his head, he walks pass Steve and grabs him by the hand, dragging him out of the room.

The next band that’s playing is called ‘Birds in Row’, Steve has never seen them live but he has heard about them before, and as soon as they start playing, Bucky begins to tap his foot against the floor at the rhythm of the music while he bangs his head and whispers the lyrics. The brunet stays standing there next to Steve on the side of the room, where his usual spot is, the room is dark around them, just lit up by the lights on the stage; the people are jumping, moving and dancing as the music plays fast and loud. The genre is not exactly a favorite of Steve’s, it’s more Bucky’s style but he does appreciate good music when he listens to it.

Bucky is holding Steve’s hand, he brushes his thumb against his boyfriend’s hand from time to time, and he smiles to himself every time that he notices that Bucky gets exited over a song. The set comes to an end faster than he expected but it’s a good performance overall, Sam is nowhere to be seen, probably spending time with Sharon over at the bar, Clint doing his thing at the mosh-pit area as usual and Natasha going hard and singing along at the front of the stage.

“Imma go and pick up my stuff”, Bucky informs.

“Okay, I’ll be at the lobby”, Steve nods.

Bucky leans forward and gives Steve a small kiss on the cheek and trots his way to the backstage area, he notices that he stops at the stairs on the side of the stage, chatting and shaking hands with the guys of the band that just played. _Bucky, always the charming_. Steve smirks shaking his head before he turns around and walks his way out towards the lobby.

“Hey Steve, how’s it going?” Coulson asks him when he gets to the bar area.

“Good, how are you, Phil?” He questions politely.

“I’m okay, have you been enjoying the show?” the older man questions.

“Yes, a lot of people came”, Steve comments looking around the room.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure about that since the weather has been a bit off and also the different genres on the lineup and such”, he shrugs a shoulder.

“I think it’s great, that way people get some variety”, he chuckles.

“Oh, there’s someone I want you to meet”, Coulson smiles, “Maria!” he yells.

A brunette girl with blue highlights, her hair tied in a loose low bun, bangs on the side of her forehead, fierce looking, _like she could kick anybody’s ass_ , deep blue eyes, small and petite frame; she’s wearing a navy blue utility jacket, tight blue jeans and black combat boots. Steve knows who this woman is.

“Steve Rogers”, the girl nods once offering her hand for him to shake.

“You’re Maria Hill, right?” Steve smirks.

“Do you guys know each other?” Coulson asks in surprise.

“Not really, but she’s good”, Steve smiles kindly.

“Thanks, so are you”, Maria says.

“Steve, as you know she’s a tattoo artist too, she just moved here and I was planning to give her the city tour this upcoming week”, Coulson comments.

“Oh, welcome!” Steve smirks, “do you have a chair now? For work, I mean”, he wonders.

“I’ve got some offers but nothing interesting so far”, the woman shrugs, “do you have any insight?” she giggles.

“I might”, he nods, “you should bring her to the shop sometime”, Steve says to Coulson as he hands her his business card after he pulls it out of his wallet.

“Sure thing, Steve”, Coulson smiles.

“Thanks”, Maria says lifting the piece of paper.

“Hey, remember that the Annual Toy Drive is next weekend”, Coulson comments.

“Next weekend already?” Steve says and Coulson nods with a small smile spread on his lips, “damn, time flies fast”, he chuckles.

“Are you going to be here?” Coulson asks.

“Yes, sir”, Steve answers.

“Great”, Coulson taps his shoulder before walking away.

***

When Bucky gets his things inside Dum Dum’s car, he goes back inside and finds Steve talking enthusiastically with a brunette girl over by the bar and he can’t help to stare, they’re both laughing out loud and chatting, she has her arms crossed over her chest and Steve has his hands inside the pockets of his jeans, rocking himself back and forth on his heels, the cutest smile spread on his lips.

Bucky isn’t the jealous type, aside form the _shit_ that happened with Brock, he’s a confident man, he doesn’t think he’s above anyone but he’s aware of his charms and he’s not afraid to use them on his behalf, but he knows what he has, _Steve’s mine_ , but on the other hand, it’s impossible not to like Steve Rogers, so maybe, he’s a bit jealous.

Steve has the ability to be charming, with every _fucking_ one, he always sees the good in people and sometimes he’s too naïve to tell when someone is interested in him, which happens a lot. Also, these days, not too many people is polite and grateful like Steve is and they might confuse that with flirting or wanting to cause a good impression, although his boyfriend doesn’t see it that way, he’s just _too damn_ nice.

Bucky doesn’t know this girl and he’s trying not to assume she is legitimately interested in Steve, _but let’s say she is_ , that is not Steve’s fault, Bucky knows that, but right now he just wants to give him shit about it.

_Because, I’m mean, just a little payback for the teasing backstage._

He walks his way towards them, the girl falls silent and gives him an overall look from head to toe and back up, she even looks a bit hostile with her eyebrow arched in question, Bucky guesses it’s a shielding mechanisms since he does the same to her as he walked there, Steve doesn’t even look at him until Bucky clears his throat, the blond turns to the side and smirks at him.

“There you are”, Steve says.

“Am I interrupting something?” Bucky questions trying to look casual and irritated at the same time.

“Not at all”, Steve frowns his eyebrows, the blond looks concerned and Bucky thinks for a fraction of a second in dropping his act but he has to stay strong. Steve looks down at the floor and then scratches the back of his neck awkwardly before he clears his throat, “Maria”, he turns his head to face the girl, “this is my Bucky”, Steve smiles wide placing a hand on Bucky’s lower back, and Bucky smirks back, _and I melt right there_.

_How can I even stay angry with him when he does things like that?_

His boyfriend has done it again and Bucky just can’t believe how wrapped up around Steve’s finger he is, but he doesn’t have any _fucks_ to give. He will bow down to his feet and kiss them if he asked him to, but knowing Steve, he’ll do it first to Bucky’s before even asking. Now, Bucky feels like a complete idiot by wanting to make him feel bad about him being nice, he’ll have to find a way to make it up to him, even though Steve doesn’t even know about it.

“Ah!” the girl exclaims, her entire expression changing from harsh to friendly in a second, “the boyfriend”, a teasing smirk plastered on her face, “Maria Hill”, she introduces herself.

“Bucky Barnes”, he shakes the girl’s hand, she has a strong grip, _just like Natasha’s, and noup,_ she isn’t interested in Steve, at least not like that.

“Hey, I got the chance to catch you playing, you guys did an awesome set”, she comments.

“Thank you”, Bucky smiles kindly.

“She just moved here, she’s also a tattoo artist, she’s staying at Coulson’s right now”, Steve explains.

“Ooh, sweet”, he nods.

“Yeah, but I’m probably gonna move in with Sharon”, Maria shrugs a shoulder, “hey, you guys seem like you work out, do you happen to know a place where I can work out without getting hit on by steroided douchebags?” she questions.

Bucky and Steve burst out laughing at her snarky comment, “I don’t know about the hit on part since I believe you’re a beautiful woman, but about the free steroided douchebag zone, we might know a place”, Bucky giggles.

“I don’t know you and I like you already”, she smirks.

“Have you heard about the Red Room?” Steve questions.

“Everyone saw the promos, Steve”, Maria teases, Steve blushes and Bucky smiles at him.

“My best friend, who happens to be my roommate, owns the place”, Bucky informs proudly.

“Nice, is he around?” she wonders.

“It’s a she”, Bucky smirks, “Natasha Romanoff, that redhead over there”, he nods his head towards the end of the bar where Natasha is standing with Clint and Sam.

“Hell yeah, girl power!” she cheers.

“Just tell her I sent you, she’ll give you a good deal”, Bucky shrugs.

“This keeps getting better, you guys are my new best friends”, Maria chuckles, “this one’s a keeper, Steve”, she pats the blond’s shoulder before she leaves giggling.

“She actually reminded me of Natasha a bit”, Steve comments.

“Yeah, me too, I’m sure they’ll get along just fine”, Bucky says.

Bucky takes a step forward to lean on the edge of the bar and Logan comes walking towards him with Bucky’s choice of beer already in hand, Bucky hands him a bill and says thanks, he tells him to keep the change and Logan nods thank you in return.

“If I didn’t know you, I’ll say you were flirting with her”, Steve whispers when Bucky turns around to face him.

“I’m nice, too bad I don’t swing that way”, Bucky says casually, “didn’t you hear? I’m a keeper”, Bucky gives his boyfriend a cheeky smile.

“I don’t intent to let you go anytime soon”, Steve says.

It’s the serious tone on his boyfriend’s voice that makes Bucky look up at him, the determined look on Steve’s face sends a shiver through Bucky’s body. A couple of weeks ago, Steve wouldn’t feel confident doing such comments, but now he feels comfortable enough to do it and Bucky couldn’t be more proud of him. Their friends were right, _as usual_ , all it took Bucky to do was talk about his feelings, _as difficult as it might be_ , listen to Steve and be there for him, to be patient and understanding.

Steve Rogers is simple when it comes to certain things but yet so complex in others, and that’s one of the things that Bucky likes the most about him. His boyfriend manages to surprise him no matter what, and Bucky won’t change that for anything, because this right here is what has been missing from his life and he didn’t even knew.

Bucky swallows the sip of beer he still has inside his mouth and blinks a few times to clear his mind, “I’m not going anywhere”, he murmurs.

“I know”, Steve smiles wide running his hand through Bucky’s hair, the brunet puts the bottle against his lips and leaves it there while he fiddles with his piercing to prevent any words from coming out.

_I love you._

***

When the last band starts playing, everyone gathers around on the stage room, the place is packed and hot, it’s time for ‘Modern Life Is War’ and Steve knows that band is one of Bucky’s favorites, and as he expected, the brunet takes off his shirt again and tosses it at Steve along with his phone and keys and runs to the front of the room.

Steve stands there with Sam and Sharon watching as the people go crazy over the music, everybody is a having a blast and enjoying themselves. Steve sees his boyfriend diving off the stage, jumping up and down a few times, singing along and yelling when the guy doing vocals shares the microphone with the crowd. Steve cringes a few times when he thinks that Bucky is going to land with his face down on the floor, Sam chuckles at him and tells him he’s fine, Steve tries not to worry and continues to pay attention to the music.

When the band is over playing, Bucky stays back for a few seconds to shake the guys’ hands and congratulate them on a great show, Steve waits for him until he comes back and they go out to the lobby straight to the table with the merchandising and as they’re debating what to get, Clint comes yelling towards them.

“Hey, saps!” the man shouts.

“Clint, you don’t need to yell, we’re right here”, Steve chuckles.

“I’m not yelling!” Clint says, _he’s definitely yelling_.

“Turn up your hearing aids”, Natasha says walking towards them.

“WHAT?!” He shouts again.

“Turn up your hearing aids”, Steve signs with his hands as he mouths the words slowly for Clint to read.

“Oh, right!” Clint chuckles while taking off his hearing aid, fixes it and puts it back on, “silly me”, he giggles, “so, everyone’s going to the diner, wanna join us?” he asks.

“Do you want to go?” Steve questions Bucky.

“I could eat”, the brunet shrugs.

“Okay”, he nods, “we’re in”, he tells Clint.

“See you there then”, Natasha nods pulling Clint by the sleeve of his hoodie.

After they finally decide what to buy, they walk towards the bar, say their goodbyes to Logan, Coulson and Maria and head out of the place, the weather is colder than when Steve got there and is drizzling at the moment, but the streets look like it had been raining all night. Steve hands Bucky the extra helmet for him to wear, he hops on his motorcycle while he fixes his own helmet, Bucky hops on next and places his hands around Steve’s waist tightly making himself comfortable against his back as the motor purrs to life.

When they arrive at the diner, their friends are sitting on the back of the place on their usual table, and they get there just in time when the waiter is putting on their order, Steve just asks for a large vanilla milkshake and small fries since he had a big lunch before he got to the show, but Bucky goes with a breakfast meal even though it’s past midnight, eggs, bacon and everything.

It’s great how their lives have come together, what’s crazy is that Steve is not sure how this didn’t happened before, he has been in contact with Natasha for a few years now and he never heard her mention Bucky, not even once. Although he doesn’t blame her, she’s reserved when it comes to her personal life just like he is, and perhaps it wouldn’t have been the right time. But there’s no room to think about the past, because in that moment, right there, he has everything he wants, and even more.

“Stevie, you here?” Bucky’s voice is what brings him back to reality.

“Yeah”, he chuckles.

“Such a daydreamer”, Clint giggles.

“Technically, is not day anymore, Barton”, Steve points out.

“Smart ass”, Clint whispers and Sam laughs out loud while Natasha and Sharon are talking about who knows what.

When their food comes by, they devour it so fast that it seems like they haven’t ate in ages, they laugh, chat, eat and talk some more until their plates are squeaky clean. They split the tab and walk towards the door after they leave a tip for the waiter; all of them fix their coats and jackets when the rain starts pouring faster just when they’re about to leave.

“So…um”, Steve hums, “do you wanna come to my house?” Steve asks his boyfriend.

“Sure”, Bucky smiles while he leans forward and helps Steve fix the collar of his jacket, “just let me check with Nat, I don’t want her to go by herself”, he comments.

“Of course”, he nods.

“Nataliaaaaaa!” Bucky singsongs.

“What do you want?” she says zipping up her windbreaker.

“So I was wondering…” he smiles wide.

“Yeah, you can go, Clint is coming with me”, Natasha says and Bucky chuckles.

“I’m coming with her, get it?” Clint wiggles his eyebrows.

“No, if you don’t shut up, you won’t”, Natasha teases.

“Oh, snap!” Sam yells laughing out loud.

“Wilson!” Sharon warns and Sam pretends to zip his lips close.

“You guys are the best”, Steve laughs.

“Lets go”, Bucky demands after he puts on his beanie.

“Someone’s in a hurry”, Sam whispers between his teeth.

“Damn right I am, Samuel”, Bucky winks at him.

***

The _stupid_ rain is falling fast over them while Steve drives carefully towards his house, and Bucky tightens his grip around his boyfriend’s waist even though he doesn’t has to, but by the time they arrive, it starts slowing down. The couple gets off the motorcycle quickly and run towards the house giggling and snickering as Steve tries to unlock the door. They clean their shoes on the ‘WELCOME’ mat before they get rid of their wet coats and hang them on the back of the door, then his boyfriend moves to turn on the heating system of the house.

“I think Imma have to shower, I’m all wet”, Steve comments trying to remove his damp hoodie.

“Yeah, me too, not to mention I probably stink”, Bucky chuckles.

Captain comes running towards them and Bucky kneels to pet him but the dog goes back to the kitchen and scratches the floor by the backyard door, “I think he has to go”, Steve sighs.

“I’ll get it, you shower first”, Bucky suggests.

“It’s okay, I can do it”, Steve nods.

“If you don’t shower now you’re gonna get sick, with your asthma and stuff”, Bucky says.

“Yeah, but…” Steve starts but Bucky walks closer and plants a kiss on his lips to shut him up.

“No buts, Rogers”, he shakes his head, “shower, now!” Bucky demands.

“Okay, mooooooom”, Steve whines but goes upstairs anyway.

Bucky puts on his jacket again before he opens the back door to let the dog out and do his necessities, he stays up on the edge of the little step to try to cover himself even though it isn’t raining at the moment, but the clouds above him seem like they aren’t done just yet.

“Come on, dude, do your thing”, Bucky hugs himself to put some heat around his body. The dog takes his time sniffing the plants and the fence around the small backyard until he finds the spot he’s looking for, “bare with me, Cap, I’m freezing here”, Bucky chuckles, clouds of cold breath coming out of his mouth into the dark night sky.

He goes back to the kitchen to grab a bag where he knows Steve keeps them, he walks outside quickly and runs his hand through Captain’s cold fur before he gets closer to clean the dog’s mess.

“The things I do for love, right?” Bucky chuckles, “c’mon, buddy”, he pats the side of his leg when he’s by the door and the dog comes running towards him.

Captain moves straight to his bed; he does a couple of circles on it until he settles down to sleep. The house is getting warm by now and Bucky is glad about it since the cold weather makes his shoulder hurt a bit. He rubs the side of his left arm after he removes his coat again, then he walks into the kitchen to heat some water and make a coup of tea for his boyfriend and him.

When the water on the stove is boiling, he pours it on a couple of cups where the small bags of chamomile tea are already set up, he places a small amount of honey on Steve’s and a _shit load_ of sugar on his. He maneuvers both cups in one hand, trying not to burn his hand off or make a mess on the floor, and then he turns off the lights before heading upstairs.

Bucky places Steve’s cup on his side of the bed and takes a seat on the single chair sofa close to the bathroom door, where his boyfriend still keeps the _dumb_ teddy bear that Bucky won at Coney Island, he smiles at it placing it over his leg while he sips on his tea and almost scorches off his tongue in the process.

***

Steve feels drifting away under the water spray, it has been a really long day for him, he cleans himself as quick as possible, it would have been nice to shower with his boyfriend, he did thought about it, but then Captain came into picture and Steve didn’t suggest anything, instead he just went straight upstairs, grabbed a pair of clean underwear and pants and continued to take a bath, not bothering to find a clean shirt.

He closes the water tap and slides open the shower door, the mirror is covered in steam and he goes ahead and draws a big heart with a banner that spells ‘Bucky’ on it, surrounded by smaller perfect shaped hearts, something like Bucky did a while back, and he’s sure his boyfriend is going to laugh at it.

“All yours”, Steve says with his arms wide open when he steps out of the bathroom.

“You mean you, or the shower?” Bucky arches his eyebrow walking towards him. He isn’t wearing anything but boxers and he has a piece of clothing on his left hand.

“Um…” Steve hums, “both?” he smiles.

“I’m telling you”, Bucky shakes his head, “you’re something else”, he smirks.

Bucky scoots closer and puts his hand on Steve’s nape, scratching his wet short hairs with his fingers, he leans forward and places a soft kiss on Steve’s lips, he tastes warm and sweet and just Bucky, and he finds himself sighing when his boyfriend leans back, then the brunet moves forward again and places another kiss on Steve’s nose, that makes him giggle.

“I’ll be out in no time”, the brunet says, “I made you tea, I hope it’s not cold”, he nods towards the nightstand.

“Thank you”, he smiles wide and steps aside to let Bucky get inside the bathroom.

Just when Steve is walking towards the bed, Bucky moves to take his shower, the brunet hasn’t even closed the door, and then, “Aaaawwwe, you’re the best!” Bucky exclaims.

Steve frowns, he’s about to ask what Bucky is talking about when he remembers the hearts he drew on the steamed mirror, he chuckles and finally sits down on the bed to rest, his back against the headrest, a sketchbook on his lap, a pencil in one hand and the cup of tea on the other.

A few minutes on his sketchbook, just when he finishes the tea, he’s feeling his eyelids heavy, but he doesn’t want to fall asleep yet, not at least until Bucky is there next to him. He puts away his things over the nightstand and gets down on the bed, resting the side of his face on the pillow while he browses on Facebook and Instagram on his phone.

When Steve hears that Bucky closes the water tap, he locks his phone and puts it away, he rests back on the bed and closes his eyes tightly, pretending to be asleep, pursing his lips into a thin line to prevent from laughing.

“All clean”, Bucky says enthusiastically walking out of the bathroom and Steve tries to deceive him, “Steve?” his boyfriend questions.

He lays there quiet, his body rigid as a log, he feels a sudden shift on the surface of the bed, he thinks for a second about taking a peek over his shoulder to see if Bucky bought his little act, but then he jumps in surprise when he feels a cold spot on his right shoulder.

“I know you’re not asleep”, Bucky whispers against his skin, he kissed Steve’s shoulder, the cold spot he felt was his boyfriend’s piercing, Steve has no other option but to giggle.

“I was trying to sleep”, he says, turning his body to the side to face Bucky, the brunet is next to him with his knees planted on the bed and his upper body weight supported by his arms and wearing nothing but underwear that Steve thinks it’s probably his, Bucky’s hair is wet like he didn’t even bother to towel it, droplets of water falling down his neck and into the bed and his gray-blue eyes open wide.

Bucky crawls slowly closer to him and moves to the side to be on top of Steve, his legs wide open and his knees on each side of Steve’s hips, his hands on the mattress above the blond’s shoulders. Bucky docks his head and starts giving him soft kisses with his mouth slightly open, pecks around his neck, his clavicles and over the tattoo on his chest. Steve has his hands over Bucky’s thighs and softly rubbing his fingertips against his boyfriend’s warm skin, he sighs deeply a few times and closes his eyes for a while and lets himself lose in the moment. He’s beginning to fall sleep, he even begins to breathe through his mouth, but Bucky’s body weight keeps him grounded.

“So, what’s next?” Bucky whispers against his skin.

“Mmm?” Steve hums.

“Do you wanna do this?” Bucky wonders, “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t”, his boyfriend says between kisses.

Steve opens his eyes slowly; Bucky is staring down at him with nothing but sincerity on his face and a small smile on his lips, “actually, I kinda wanted you to…” he sighs, “but I’m a bit tired”, Steve says.

“I have an idea”, Bucky smirks, “if you’d let me”, his boyfriend kisses the tip of his nose, “you don’t even have to move”, he shakes his head.

“Baby, you don’t have to, it’s not fair for you to do all the work”, Steve chuckles.

“C’mon, Stevie”, Bucky insists, “you always take care of me”, the brunet places his hand on Steve’s face, rubbing his thumb against his cheek, “it’s my turn, let me do this for you, please”, he says against Steve’s lips.

“Okay”, he agrees.

“Yes?” Bucky questions before he gives him a tiny kiss.

“Mmhhm”, Steve nods with a lazy smile on his face.

***

“I still don’t understand why we need an extra sheet”, Steve mumbles into the pillow.

“You’ll see”, Bucky smirks over his shoulder.

After he managed to convince Steve to let him take the lead tonight, he stood up and walked towards the closet, he grabbed a clean sheet from where Steve keeps them and tossed it towards the bed, he instructed his boyfriend to put it over the covers while he kept searching for something inside the box with the things that Ida gave him that Bucky had decided to leave at Steve’s house.

“Hey, we still haven’t use these”, Bucky lifts the handcuffs from the box, a wicked grin spread on his lips.

“Some other time”, Steve chuckles looking up at the ceiling.

“Soon though, right?” Bucky asks hopeful, the pit of his stomach warm at the idea.

“Sure”, Steve hums lazily.

Bucky returns the handcuffs to the box and keeps looking around, the bottle he’s searching for is at the bottom of the box, _body oil_ , that’s the thing, his aunt always gives him a few bottles every time they land on her office, there’s nothing special about it, it’s not magic or anything but Bucky finds it relaxing and he _fucking_ loves the coconut smell of it, he was sure there had to be a new bottle on the box, he cheers when he sees it, grabs one of the flavored lubes at random and puts the box back in the closet.

“Turn around”, Bucky says.

“What?” Steve lifts his head from the pillow.

“Face down”, Bucky instructs.

“Face down, ass up?” Steve giggles, “how convenient”, he chuckles.

“Not yet”, Bucky wiggles his eyebrows, “talking about ass, take all of your clothes off”, he points at he blond’s pants.

“No candles and kisses? No foreplay? Nothing?” Steve tsks his tongue shaking his head as he stands up from the bed.

“You want candles, I’ll go and find you some to burn your ass with them”, Bucky arches his eyebrow in suggestion.

“Noup, just kidding”, Steve lifts his hands defensively, his body shaking from the giggles on the back of his throat. The blond ducks down and removes his gray sweatpants, he leaves his boxers on and rests on the bed with his belly against the mattress like Bucky instructed.

Bucky places the bottle of oil along with the lube at the corner of the bed and crawls his way up to Steve, his boyfriend’s legs between his, the brunet hooks two fingers from each hand on the elastic band of Steve’s boxers, he sucks his lower lip into his mouth, fiddling with his piercing to warm it with his tongue before he leans forward so his mouth is over Steve’s lower back.

“I said all of it”, Bucky whispers.

“I’m a bit cold”, Steve shivers when Bucky begins to pull down his boxers slowly.

Bucky puts his lips on his boyfriend, his pale skin soft against Bucky’s wet lips, he smells like Bucky’s favorite smells, clean and musky, manly and sweet at the same time, _just Steve_. The brunet breathes through his nose, kissing his way down Steve’s back as he pulls the blond’s underwear, his boyfriend hums warmly under his touch, Bucky stops kissing him when he reaches the upper part of his ass-cheeks. He tilts backwards again, moving his knees while he pulls off Steve’s boxers completely, he takes a second to admire the view in front of him: his boyfriend spread on the bed all naked, his arms folded being used as a pillow under his head, the arch on his back making his perfect round ass stick up from the bed.

He sighs deeply, exhaling hot air through his mouth before he proceeds with what he has in mind. Bucky is still wearing his underwear, _or better said_ , Steve’s underwear, but he isn’t going to need to remove them right now. He grabs the bottle of oil and pours some of the clear liquid into his hand, “relax, okay?” Bucky pleads.

“What are you doing?” Steve wonders, moving his head back and peeking over his right shoulder.

“Just… trust me”, he nods.

“Okay”, Steve whispers before he rests his head over his arms again.

Bucky kneels on the bed with his buttocks resting on his heels, he puts his hands together and rubs them against each other to warm up the oil before he takes one of Steve’s feet and begins to rub it between his hands, putting extra attention to the heel, digging the fingertip of his thumbs at the sole from up and down, then the ankles moving the foot in circle motions, Steve just giggles a couple of times between hums before Bucky moves to do the same to the other foot.

***

If Bucky was trying to keep him up he shouldn’t have started touching him like this, Steve isn’t asleep but he’s fighting himself to stay awake, his boyfriend has magic fingers, he already knew that, but this is different, it isn’t completely sexual but he does feel aroused, it’s intimate and extremely relaxing and Steve has to swallow down a few _embarrassing_ moans.

When Bucky seems satisfied with the work on his feet, he parts Steve’s legs a bit and positions himself between them, the blond hears when Bucky opens the oil bottle again and squeezes some liquid out of it. He begins to rub his leg from down his calves up to the back of his thighs, those strong and slender fingers of his working to untie the knots on the muscles of his legs, rubbing the slick substance on his skin, his body hot and flushed while Bucky keeps pressing his fingertips with enough amount of strength that make Steve shiver and his hairs stand with goosebumps.

For some reason, this is a whole new sensation to him, he has obviously been touched before but it’s his boyfriend’s initiative, intention and determination that makes him feel overwhelmed. He doesn’t like being taking care of, _like Bucky said_ , and that’s the way that Steve has always been and he doesn’t mind; those sort of actions remind him of his sick childhood and when he couldn’t go to the store to buy a carton of milk without having to stop three times because of his failing lungs. Some people offered to help but Steve always thought it was out of pity and not a genuine feeling of wanting to do good for him, so he learned if he wanted things done he was going to manage by himself, but then he understood there are amazing people out there that really care about him and his well being, people like his mother, his friends and now Bucky.

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice sounds in the background, his hands go still over the back of Steve’s knees.

“Sorry, what was that?” Steve asks.

“I thought you fell asleep”, he says, “I, um…” he mumbles, “I’m sorry”, Bucky sighs, “do you want me to stop?” he questions.

Steve looks back over his shoulder; Bucky is staring up at him, his teeth biting his lower lip nervously and his eyes open wide, “no, do you wanna stop?” Steve wonders.

“No, it’s just… I asked you something but you didn’t say anything, so…” Bucky shrugs.

“I’m sorry, baby, what was it?” he says, “I got a bit carried away”, Steve chuckles.

Bucky’s expression softens and leans forward to kiss the back of Steve’s shoulder, “I just asked if it felt good”, Bucky says against his skin.

“Yes, yes, it does”, Steve nods.

“Okay, lay down again then”, Bucky instructs and Steve takes back his previous position.

For a moment there, Steve thinks that Bucky is going to continue with his course and go up and maybe work on Steve’s ass-cheeks, but instead, he moves up and places himself with his legs open and his crotch right over Steve’s ass, the blond can feel his boyfriend’s shaft through the fabric of his boxer briefs, the brunet’s body weight heavy yet comfortable over him.

Bucky places his palms against his shoulder blades, more of the warm and slippery substance between their skins, his boyfriend claws his hands and digs his fingertips against his upper back and Steve winces a bit, Bucky goes forward and presses deeper.

“Aaauuhh!” Steve whines.

“You have a lot of knots, don’t complain”, Bucky chuckles.

“But it hurts”, he cries.

“Relax, Rogers”, Bucky says.

“I am relaxed”, the blond whines some more.

“Okay, stretch your arms”, his boyfriend whispers.

“Why?” he asks.

“C’mon, stretch your arms”, Bucky demands. Steve does as told and unfolds his arms, spreading them to his sides over the mattress, the fabric of the clean sheets soft against his skin. Bucky puts his open hands over the center of Steve’s back with a tiny amount of pressure, “now breathe”, the brunet says.

Steve exhales in and out like his boyfriend asks him to, oxygen filling his lungs slowly, “again, sweetheart”, Bucky hums. The blond takes another breath, deeper this time, feeling how his body relaxes while his boyfriend’s hands begin to move smoothly over his skin, “just one more time”, Bucky places a soft kiss on his shoulder and Steve does as told.

***

After Bucky manages to make Steve feel more comfortable, he does notice a difference on his body, his muscles unwinding and contracting under his hands, Bucky’s palms moving from the blond’s lower back across his wide shoulders up to his neck, his thumbs working on his strong arms, rubbing his sides over his ribcage to the small of his waist, then to the center of his back again.

The tattoos on Steve’s pale skin look brighter than ever thanks to the oil shinning on his soft skin, his boyfriend has his head turned to the side and his mouth slightly open, he hums on the back of his mouth when Bucky puts extra pressure on the knots on his neck and he lets out the cutest moans when he goes a bit down south and rubs with his knuckles in circular motions above his buttocks.

“You know, I’ve been wanting to do this since I saw Natasha rubbing oil on you for the photo-shoot, I wanted to help”, Bucky confesses.

“Hhmm?” Steve hums, “why didn’t you?” he wonders.

“I didn’t wanted to make you uncomfortable”, Bucky says.

“I’m glad you didn’t, you would’ve given me a boner”, Steve chuckles warmly and Bucky can’t help to smile.

“Ditto”, Bucky giggles, “but I’m glad I waited so I get to have you all to myself now”, he whispers.

“I’m glad too”, Steve sighs deeply.

Bucky can feel the bulge inside his underwear grow every time he hears Steve make those beautiful noises or when he rocks back and forth and his dick rubs against his boyfriend’s ass, the soft cotton of his boxers stretching as his dick gets harder. He places a few kisses on his boyfriend’s back from time to time, not bothering to get the oil on his lips since the thing doesn’t exactly tastes like anything. The brunet works, works and works on his boyfriend’s wide back and when he feels his muscles had loosen enough, it’s time to move to his ass since he decided to leave the best for last.

He scoots down again and squeezes more oil into his hands to begin massaging Steve’s beautiful ass-cheeks, he starts first with the hips, his hands working on each side and down, pulling his hands pressing his fingertips at Steve’s skin, this is definitely making him feel more flushed since his boyfriend starts to moan a bit louder every time Bucky’s thumbs get closer to his opening.

Bucky’s hands move inwards Steve’s sweet spot and the brunet feels his mouth water every time he parts those perfect round ass-cheeks, exposing that pink spot he wants to taste so badly. His dick isn’t taking it anymore, it’s more than half hard inside his underwear and he needs to let it breathe so he gets up fast and takes off his clothes quickly, Steve even turns over his shoulder to see what he’s doing, staring down at Bucky’s cock with nothing but desire in his eyes, his pupils dilated almost making his eyes completely black. Bucky takes back his position, he closes his fist around his shaft, his eyes flutter closed at the sensation of the excess of oil on his hand against his aching cock.

He pushes down his cock in between Steve’s ass-cheeks, rocking his hips back and forth for friction against his boyfriend’s body, the skin of those round buttocks feels like heaven and he moans as a jolt of pleasure takes over his body, his hands squeezing Steve’s hips for support. Steve moves his ass up and down while Bucky leans forward, his chest resting against Steve’s lubricated back, he rubs his body over him, his hands on the blond’s arms.

“You’re beautiful”, Bucky whispers to Steve’s right ear after he kisses the side of his neck.

“I want you inside of me”, Steve gasps.

“Yeah?” Bucky moans as he shuts his eyes, Steve’s body hot under him, slippery with the oil.

“Fuck me”, Steve demands.

Bucky sighs one more time before he leans back and moves his body near Steve’s feet, he lowers himself on the bed between his boyfriend’s legs after he reaches for the lube on the corner of the mattress and places it closer to him, he positions himself with his chest down, the gentle fabric of the sheets against his achingly hard cock. He rubs the palm of his hands in gentle circle motions over Steve’s ass-cheeks before he places his thumbs on his crack and squeezes, exposing exactly what he wants to see.

He pecks Steve’s ass a few times, open mouth kisses around that tight ring of muscles while he puts his thumb over it, pushing in experimentally with the tip of his finger and the blond shivers under him in response. Bucky sticks out his tongue and with the flat part of it, he licks from his boyfriend’s perineum to his tight hole and Steve moans on the back of his throat.

“Shit”, Steve hisses and Bucky chuckles.

The brunet puts his attention on that pink and clasp little hole, circling his tongue around it, flicking it and sucking everything he can reach, the body oil doesn’t have any flavor to it and Steve just tastes like soap. Steve is gasping, grunting and cursing while Bucky continues to loosen up his entrance with his mouth, he isn’t using his fingers at all; he just keeps fucking his boyfriend with his tongue.

“Bucky”, Steve whispers, “fuck, just like that”, he moans.

Bucky grabs the bottle of lube and squeezes some of the liquid into two of his fingers and circles them around Steve’s asshole, he puts his tongue back on him, _strawberry_ , that’s the lube’s flavor, it tastes synthetic and way too sweet even for him, but not like he’s going to complain while he’s eating out his boyfriend.

“Baby”, the blond gasps, “I need you, please”, he turns his head, peeking back over his right shoulder.

He leans back up and kneels again, when he’s about to put more lube into his hands, he notices on the corner of his eye that Steve shakes his head, “what is it?” he wonders, his eyebrows knit together.

“Forget that, just put it in”, Steve pleads.

“Sweetheart, I was going to use my fingers first”, Bucky wiggles the fingers of his right hand into the air, and his left hand massaging Steve’s oily lower back from up and down smoothly, “you’re not properly stretched yet”, he shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about it, you’ll stretch me”, Steve says.

“Steve, I don’t wanna hurt you”, Bucky sighs.

“You won’t, please”, his boyfriend insists.

“But you’ll tell me if you need me to stop”, Bucky points his index finger at him and the blond nods enthusiastically.

***

After Steve convinces Bucky to move on without having to open him up, his boyfriend leans to the side and out of the bed to reach for the nightstand, he opens the drawer and retrieves a condom from the box that Steve keeps there, but he shakes his head right away.

“What?” Bucky questions.

“No condom”, he says.

“But…” the brunet opens his eyes wide, “are you sure?” he asks.

“I do monthly tests, job requirements, and I trust you”, Steve smiles.

“Well, my last test was over a month ago but you’re the only one I’ve had sex in months”, Bucky comments.

“I know”, Steve smirks, “I want to feel you, all of you”, he says looking right into Bucky’s eyes, his head turned to the left this time.

Bucky lets out a cute moan on the back of his throat before he swallows loudly, “okay”, he nods quickly.

“Besides”, he whispers, “I’ve never had sex without a condom before and I want it to be with you”, Steve’s cheeks blushed pink at the confession.

His boyfriend tilts his head to the side, his eyes focused on Steve’s face, staring at him with wide eyes while he processes the words that Steve just spilled out, the blond’s blush gets deeper while he waits for Bucky’s reaction.

_Maybe this was a bad idea._

“Unless, you don’t want to, I understand”, he nods, his upper body weight supported on his elbows.

“Steve, I…” Bucky sighs.

“Yeah?” Steve wonders.

“I want to”, he smiles wide, Steve can tell that isn’t what he was trying to say, the untold words written on the tip of his tongue but the blond doesn’t push, “I’ve never had sex without a condom either, so let’s do this”, he smirks teasingly and Steve smiles back.

The brunet leans forward and plants a soft kiss on Steve’s lips, trapping the blond’s lower lip between his, then he moves back to the bed to take his position behind him. Steve turns his head to the right and wiggles his body from side to side, “c’moooon!” he hurries eagerly.

“Didn’t you say you were tired?” Bucky chuckles looking down around the bed; he leans to the side and grabs the bottle of lube, “okay, you’ll tell me if it hurts, right?” Bucky asks squeezing some of the substance into his palm.

“Yes”, Steve says with a nod.

Steve stares at his boyfriend, looking closely as the brunet puts his fist around his erected penis, Steve feels his mouth hang open and the pit of his stomach hot, he doesn’t know what he wants more: to close his lips around his boyfriend’s dick, suck him off until he’s moaning loudly and shivering inside his mouth, shooting his seed down Steve’s throat or to get fucked by Bucky’s gorgeous cock, take his boyfriend inch by inch and grunt while his tight hole gets stretched as he pushes inside him, the latter seems more appropriate at the moment.

“See something you like?” Bucky arches an eyebrow in question; a wicked smirk spread on his lips.

“Maybe”, Steve giggles.

Steve closes his eyes tightly while he bites down his bottom lip, letting his head fall into the pillow when Bucky begins to tease his hole with the tip of his cock, going up and down, the smooth and sleek shaft against his opening, the brunet squeezes more lube into Steve’s ass and spreads it with his dick before he finally rests the tip of it against his tight entrance.

His boyfriend places his hands on Steve’s shoulder blades and drags them down slowly, his firm hands on the blond’s muscles, working the tension on his back and Steve just feels his body weak under Bucky’s touch while he concentrates to breathe deeply, the constant ache of his spine no longer there, he thinks it’s been ages since someone touched him like this, and he’s so _damn_ glad that right now, that someone is Bucky.

***

Bucky had to take a moment to process Steve’s words when he told him he wanted to share something so personal with him, having sex without a condom must be a huge deal for Steve, even more than it is for Bucky.

He has had a lot of sexual partners which none of them had been exclusive, so having unprotected sex was out of the picture, it didn’t matter how much they begged or whined, or even when Brock tried to wash his brain and convince him to do it, Bucky had said no, and the only time he asked to do it without a condom was last week to Steve, but he had said no at the moment. And for Steve, this was also a first time, but Bucky had come to realize that it was somewhat different for him, he’s serious about this sort of things and Bucky could see on his eyes that this means a lot to him, and give himself to Bucky like that was not something out of the blue, he probably had been thinking and overthinking it.

So, he almost did it again, Bucky almost spill out his feelings for Steve, he nearly said that specific four letter word, but he swallowed it back once more, he has no doubt how he feels about this man, and he doesn’t even care if the feeling isn’t mutual, he just wants to find the right moment to say it, and not while they’re having sex because his boyfriend might think this is just something physical, and Bucky is more than sure he wants nobody else but Steve for the rest of his life. But for now he has something to do…

_Focus, Bucky, focus!_

Bucky rubs his boyfriend’s back up and down for a couple of seconds before he puts his hand on his dick again, moaning at the much needed friction, he grabs it and guides the head inside Steve’s tiny pink hole, he begins to push inside slowly, his penis already leaking pre-cum and the tip flushed as he thrusts his way in. His boyfriend’s legs are trapped in between his, his perfect and perky ass in display.

The contact from skin on skin is unbelievable, Steve is really tight around him, his muscles pressing Bucky’s dick make him feel dizzy and he just wants to shove his whole cock inside, but he doesn’t want to hurt him so he has to be patient; he dares to look down while he continues to move painfully slow, the picture is so obscene that he could’ve come right there, it’s a lot to process, the feeling’s amazing but this, seeing Steve’s ass stretched by his own dick, no rubber in between, the raw sensation and the moment when they become one, Bucky just wants to whisper to Steve’s ear how much he loves him, how he never wants to let him go, but he doesn’t, he can’t, not yet anyway.

His boyfriend grunts and moans silently on the back of his throat as Bucky continues to stretch him, the blond tries to keep his breathing even, in through his nose and out through his mouth, Bucky can see he has his eyes closed and his arms folded under his head, but then there’s a sudden change on his respiration and Bucky notices when his boyfriend winces, making a stranded noise that he recognizes as pain.

“Steve?” Bucky worries when his boyfriend doesn’t answer, “sweetheart?” he leans forward, trying not to push his dick deeper inside although it’s almost all the way in, he kisses the back of Steve’s right shoulder passing his right hand through his hair.

“Mmmm?” Steve hums in question, his eyes still closed.

“Stevie, are you all right?” he asks, “I should’ve…” he starts but Steve shakes his head right away.

“I’m fine”, he answers blinks a few times, “don’t stop”, he says.

“Are you sure?” Bucky questions.

“Yes, baby”, he hisses, “keep going”, Steve nods.

“Okay, okay”, Bucky whispers.

Bucky places soft kisses on Steve’s back, not caring about getting the oily liquid on his lips again, he pecks his shoulders, then the back of his neck and all across the tattoo piece and to the other side. Then he leans back up and takes a deep breath before he continues where he left off, he puts his hands on his boyfriend’s small waist, his fingers spread wide for support, and his thumbs placed meticulously on the sexy dimples on his lower back, they look like they’re meant for Bucky’s hands, the perfect distance between them, he digs his fingertips and rubs his fingers up and down, massaging the area as he begins to push inside again.

“Oh, Stevie, you’re so tight”, Bucky moans.

“You feel so good”, Steve gasps.

When the brunet’s thighs are finally against Steve’s ass-cheeks, his testicles brushing his boyfriend’s skin, Bucky sighs deeply, he’s completely inside and he has to fight himself not to begin pulling out right away. Steve is so tight, more than the last time Bucky was inside of him, almost virgin tight and Bucky is losing his mind, his penis is rock hard being pressed by the muscles of Steve’s clasped hole and he needs some sort of friction, _soon_.

“Hey, handsome, how are we?” Bucky sighs with his eyes shut.

“Just give me a second”, Steve says.

“Any time, I’m just checking”, Bucky bites down his lower lip, his right hand goes up Steve’s back rubbing it smoothly, his pale skin beginning to absorb the oil.

“Okay, can you…” Steve moves his body a bit, pushing his hips up towards Bucky, the brunet moans at the sudden movement, his left hand squeezes Steve’s hip.

“What is it?” Bucky asks trying to keep his mind under control.

“Move, move, please”, his boyfriend moans.

Bucky takes a deep breath, both of his hands return to Steve’s waist and holds himself before he starts to pull out slowly, the feeling is glorious, making the pit of his stomach hot and his knees shake. He stops when a couple of inches are out and then pushes back inside slowly, then out again and so on until his hard cock begins to slide in and out more easily. Bucky moans during the whole process while Steve gasps and grunts under him, encouraging him to go in deeper and to start thrusting faster.

***

“Baby, shit…” Steve moans, “fuck me, harder”, the blond demands.

Steve is sure he’s going to be in pain the next day, but he doesn’t regret any second of it, Bucky was right when he said that Steve was really tight, and the blond did thought for a second about telling him to go back and open him up with his fingers. Steve winced in pain as his gorgeous boyfriend begun to push his cock inside his hole, but he was being really thoughtful and did it painfully slow. For a second, he almost demanded him to go all the way in, to take everything of him fast, but he figured it was going to be worse since he doesn’t bottom that much often, so he decided to wait and had to take a second to adjust, Bucky waited patiently and Steve was awfully glad for it.

Now, the pain is beginning to fade, being replaced by the pure and raw pleasure of his boyfriend dick inside of him, nothing but him, pushing in and out of him with such determination that Steve has to close his eyes when his vision starts to blur with white spots, Bucky’s dick hitting the right place as he pushes in and out of him, at Steve’s demands to go faster.

He is indeed exhausted and this is barely starting but he’s sure he isn’t going to last with the way his boyfriend is fucking him so passionately, the previous massage made his body even more receptive and relaxed, and having sex after that is amazing, but even though he’s just laying there, Bucky still does as Steve tells him to, going deep when he asks for it, thrusting faster when Steve pleads.

Bucky’s hands are still working magic on his back, rubbing his fingertips with what’s left of the oil while he fucks Steve into the mattress, giving him a few kisses on sorted spots from time to time when he leans to whisper sweet things into Steve’s ear, the blond keeps panting and moaning softly, his hands go from supporting his head to closing into fists on the soft fabric of the sheets.

“Stevie”, Bucky whispers, “holy shit, Steve”, he hisses.

“Kiss me”, Steve demands.

The blond tries to twist his body so he’s now lying on his left side, his right leg folded and the other one in between his boyfriend’s, his dick never goes out of him completely as they maneuver to get comfortable for the new position, Bucky still on his knees behind him. Bucky pulls his dick all the way out and then back inside a few times, the dirty sound of skin to skin all across the bedroom, Steve tilts his head back exposing his throat, the side of his face rested against the pillow and Bucky leans forward to place a soft kiss to Steve’s cheek.

Steve turns his head a bit, his torso twisted to the side, and his aching hard cock leaking pre-cum between his legs, he places his hand behind his boyfriend’s neck, the hairs on his nape wet but not longer by the water from his shower but from the sweat of his hard work, Steve pulls down and brings his boyfriend closer to him, planting a hungry kiss on his lips, both of them panting and moaning into each other’s mouths.

Bucky is always a vision to behold when he’s flushed from head to toe, his longer strands of hair falling over his forehead while his mouth hangs open as he moans deeply into the air, his cheeks red contrasting with the metal of the piercings on his face, the same as his perky nipples, droplets of hot sweat falling down his chest, the art on his left arm oily, looking as if it’s real metal instead of ink on his skin, his strong hands rubbing Steve’s body like his skin it’s covered by velvet.

His boyfriend alters his pace from passionately slow to hard and fast, the muscles on his abdomen more prominent as he rocks his hips back and forth, then he begins to slow down again, his eyes shut and his eyebrows knit together.

“Baby?” Steve wonders.

“Get on your back, I wanna touch you”, Bucky sighs leaning forward a bit.

Steve does as Bucky tells him and turns his body around again, this time lying on his back completely, a comfortable pillow under his head and his arms to the sides, his legs folded at the knees and open, inviting his boyfriend to come back and take his place.

When Bucky positions himself in between Steve, fitting perfectly in the middle of his legs, it seems the space is made exactly for him, like the one between Bucky’s legs is made for him. Steve hums warmly while he waits for his boyfriend to go back inside of him. Bucky is on his knees again and he has the bottle of lube in one hand and the body oil in the other, he squeezes a fair amount of the lube over the red tip of his dick and tosses the bottle to the side, he closes his fist around the root of it and guides it to Steve’s entrance, rubbing the head around Steve’s hole teasingly before he puts the whole thing back inside without warning.

_Holy fucking shit!_

Steve almost cries, not because it hurts, quiet the contrary, his eyes roll to the back of his skull and his mouth hangs open as a silent moan escapes his throat, his head sinking further into the pillow and his back arches against the mattress, the blond’s dick twitches where it’s standing erect over his belly and his toes curled against the sheets. Bucky has hit the right spot, going in impossibly deeper, making the pit of Steve’s stomach hot as he stimulates his prostate with the tip of his cock.

“Are you okay?” Bucky whispers.

He nods quickly and keeps is eyes closed, “do that again”, he pleads.

His boyfriend pulls out and does the same thing again, making Steve moan loudly this time, his hands fisted on his hair, pulling at it slightly, then Bucky does it again and again, and Steve is sure he’s going to pass out. But then something changes, the pace slows down until Bucky’s dick goes still inside of him.

The blond opens his eyes slowly, the corners of his vision blurry while he tries to blink a few times, Bucky has pour some of the oil into his hands and he’s rubbing it meticulously, palm against palm to warm up the liquid. Bucky leans forward and places his hands over Steve’s clavicles, digging his thumbs under the sharp bones, the brunet kisses Steve’s neck, then down his throat, living a trail of kisses, saliva and love bites while Steve tries to even out his breath.

Bucky tilts back up and drags his hand around Steve’s chest, rubbing the oil over his tattoos, neck, shoulders and down Steve’s pectorals, he gently puts his thumbs over Steve’s sensitive nipples and moves them in circle motions before he ducks his head and blows his hot breath over them, Steve bites down his bottom lip gasping inside his mouth. Bucky concentrates to cover Steve’s upper body with the oil, when he reaches his abdomen, he starts tracing his muscles with the tip of his fingers gently, then to the side of his ribcage and down his hipbones.

When the brunet is over Steve’s pelvic bone, he starts moving again, his cock going in and out of Steve slowly, the delicious feeling of being stretched comes back but this time it’s different, his boyfriend rubbing his skin smoothly combined with being fucked is driving him to the edge and fast.

Steve moans while his boyfriend begins to thrust deeper, picking up a faster pace that makes the tip of his cock brush Steve’s prostate again. Bucky leans forward to kiss him, his hands working on his pelvic area by the root of his cock, the one that’s still untouched, Steve places both of his hands on the back of his boyfriend’s neck to keep him there. He pants into his mouth, Steve bites down Bucky’s bottom lip and pulls his piercing playfully, causing him to moan into his mouth.

Then his boyfriend does the thing again, he pulls out completely and rams his cock back inside a few times and impossibly faster, causing Steve to moan and cry louder, again his back arches under Bucky while he grunts for air, but this time, Steve knows he’s far gone, the jolt of electricity running through his body when the brunet _fucking finally_ puts his hands around Steve’s wet cock, Bucky’s palm is slippery from the oil and it feels like glory on his skin.

Bucky looks so concentrated, and Steve can feel he’s definitely determined to make him feel great, Steve just wants to shout at him how much he loves him, he wants to stay in this moment forever, not with Bucky’s cock inside of him necessarily, just having Bucky next to him, to be around him, Steve hasn’t been more happy in his life.

***

“Buck”, Steve pants, breathing rapidly, “I’m close, baby”, he moans.

“Let go, sweetie”, Bucky nods, “I’m here”, he says.

The brunet sighs at the words because _thank fucking god_ , Bucky’s dick and balls are screaming at him since he could’ve come minutes ago, when he pushed himself fast inside Steve and his boyfriend reacted in a way that Bucky did not expected, just by looking at him made Bucky’s body feel on fire, but he forced himself to wait, he wanted to pleasure his boyfriend until the very last second so he pushed himself to hold it in.

Bucky begins to pull Steve’s beautiful cock, twisting his wrist when he reaches the tip, his thrusts matching his pace to make it more pleasurable for his boyfriend, and Bucky can feel himself slipping too, the muscles of his asshole contracting and clenching around Bucky’s dick are driving him crazy.

Steve is spread under him, his gorgeous body in display, with his hands over his head holding himself to the headboard, the bed rocking under them as Bucky fucks his way in and out with his last bit of strength.

“Fuck, fuck”, Steve shakes his head, his body flushed a deep shade of red, “baby, shiiiiit”, he hisses, “I’m coming”, the blond moans, “don’t stop”, he says.

And Bucky doesn’t, he doesn’t stop for anything, Steve arches his back against the mattress and shuts his eyes tightly one more time, his head tilted backwards exposing his long and pale neck which Bucky wants to put his teeth in, to mark him and let everybody know that Steve is his. His boyfriend comes right there, his body going tense under Bucky’s touch, a deep moan escapes his mouth as his white seed spreads across his chest and all the way up to his chin and over Bucky’s right hand, his chest rising fast when he reaches his climax.

He follows in tow, the sight is one thing, but in that moment, when Steve gives himself to Bucky, skin with skin, their sweats mixed together while Bucky pushes inside Steve, the idea is enough to set Bucky’s orgasm, but he still has enough of sense in him to speak.

“Steve”, he whispers, Steve’s body going lax in front of him, his eyes half focused and tired, “I’m gonna come, lemme…” he sighs.

Bucky places his left hand over Steve’s hip gently, he’s about to pull his dick out of the blond to finish off with his hand when he feels the man’s hand around his forearm.

“No”, Steve shakes his head.

“Hey, I’m right here”, Bucky assures.

“No”, he says again, “I want you to come inside of me”, he nods.

“But, Steve…” he opens his eyes wide in surprise.

“Please”, he whispers.

“Okay”, Bucky swallows hard.

He starts thrusting inside of him, picking up where he was; it isn’t going to take too much to set his orgasm, just at the idea of filling his boyfriend with his own cum was driving him mad, he didn’t want to do it without permission, so he guessed he would just pull out before, but then Steve asked him to do it.

_Who am I to say no?_

Bucky frowns his eyebrows when he feels the pit of his stomach hot once more and his testicles contracting to let him know he’s right there, Steve must have noticed since he places his hands on the back of Bucky’s neck and pulls him down against his chest, his legs wrapped around Bucky’s body.

Steve kisses him hungrily while Bucky keeps fucking him, Steve is still moaning against Bucky’s ear, probably for the brunet’s own amusement, he’s thankful for it because Bucky is pumping his semen inside his boyfriend’s tight ass in no time, Steve holds him right there with his hands scratching Bucky’s nape, playing with his hair and pulling at it while Bucky moans into the crook of the blond’s neck.

He loses track of time after that, he drifts off to that warm place where he normally goes when he’s with Steve, a place where there is no one but them, he’s not sure for how long he lays there, but when he finally comes down from his high, he’s still on top of his boyfriend and his dick inside of him, Steve is rubbing Bucky’s back soothingly and the brunet hums when his boyfriend kisses his temple.

“Hey”, Steve smiles.

“Hi”, Bucky whispers, “I’m probably suffocating you”, he chuckles.

“No, not really”, he hums, “this is nice”, he says.

“You’re nice”, Bucky looks up at him from under his thick eyelashes, the blush on Steve’s cheeks deepens, “My dick is still inside of you and I can’t believe you blush over a compliment”, he giggles, nuzzling against Steve’s chest.

“Sex is different, if I’m old enough to have it, I should be mature enough to talk about it”, he brushes Bucky’s rebel hair away from his face, “compliments are other thing”, Steve shrugs.

“I guess you’re right”, Bucky nods.

They lay there for a few more seconds until Bucky begins to feel cold as their sweat starts to dry, he supports his weight on his hands and props himself up, pulling out of Steve slowly, he doesn’t dare to look down, seeing as his semen drips down his boyfriend’s ass would probably make his cock hard again and he’s too exhausted to even try.

He notices when Steve winces at the sudden loss of contact, after that, he supports his upper body on his elbows, “Lemme get…” Steve says, almost lifting himself off the bed but Bucky cuts in.

“No, wait here”, Bucky hums as he stands up.

“But I have to…” Steve nods.

“I’ll get it”, Bucky winks at him before he walks away from the bed.

***

Steve would have been embarrassed about this whole thing if this was someone else and not Bucky. When his boyfriend pulled his dick out of him, Steve’s hole clenched around it, it was hot to think about the fact that Bucky’s seed was inside of him, just the idea of it makes the pool of his stomach burn, but the feeling of it dripping down his perineum is different, not bad or disgusting, just different, and it’s Bucky’s, he doesn’t mind.

He’s really glad the brunet offered to help to clean himself because he’s sure he was going to pass out on his way to the bathroom, his limbs feel like jelly and his body heavy, he’s really exhausted and sleepy. He stares at his boyfriend’s naked body as he walks away into the bathroom and back with a damp towel. Bucky helps Steve clean himself, swatting away Steve’s hand when he tries to do it, the brunet tells him again to stay back and relax.

By the time Bucky is done with that, he instructs Steve to move out of the bed and get inside the covers, Steve ducks to put on his sweatpants back on and then he smirks when he sees the extra sheet over the bed, a stain of oil and sweat and _who knows what other body fluids_ in the middle of it where they were a few seconds ago, he’s trilled that Bucky thought about that since cleaning the oil from the duvet would’ve been a _pain in the ass, and not a good one._

Steve lies in bed, and Bucky pulls the covers over his head completely before he walks away to put the dirty sheet on the laundry basket, he giggles at that as he gets himself comfortable in the bed. A few seconds later, Bucky comes back to join him in bed, Steve notices that his boyfriend had put his boxers back on, he’s thankful for it since having him naked next to him is a big temptation. They get cozy next to each other, Steve’s eyelids feel heavy making his eyes close, he yawns a couple of times opening his mouth wide, he hums happily when Bucky shifts closer to him.

He doesn’t know if it’s a matter of instinct or what but, instead of turning towards the center of the bed and cuddle his boyfriend like he normally does, he turns to the other side and his boyfriend puts his arm around him immediately, Steve doesn’t even complain this time. He likes to wrap Bucky in his arms whenever they’re sleeping, to make him feel secure and protected, and he normally doesn’t let himself be in that place because he used to think that he didn’t need to, but now, that Bucky asked Steve to let him take care of him, it’s probably one of the best decisions he has ever made.

They say you learn something new every day, Steve is sure of that, and today he has come to realize that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help, that not because he lets someone lift him up when he falls means he’s not capable, seeking comfort and support doesn’t make him weak, and that’s why he will let his boyfriend hug him while he falls asleep.

“So…” Bucky whispers.

“Hhmm?” Steve hums half asleep with his eyes closed.

“Was it good?” Bucky questions.

“You have no idea”, the blond chuckles.

“So good that you’ll let me do it again?” his boyfriend wonders.

“As many times as you want to”, he smiles.

“Yayyyy!” the brunet cheers before he starts kissing the back of Steve’s neck, nuzzling his nose against his hair, “you’re the best, you know that?” Bucky says.

“Back at ya’”, Steve whispers.

“Hey, not waking up early, okay?” his boyfriend asks.

“But I have things to do”, Steve mumbles, his tongue heavy inside his mouth.

“For me, pretty pleaseeee?” Bucky hugs him tightly.

“Okay, baby”, he hums.

“Sweet dreams, Stevie”, his boyfriend pecks his shoulder on last time.

“Good night, Buck”, he sighs before he finally lets himself fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I could give you a thousand and one reason why I haven't updated in such a long time but I feel like they're just a bunch of excuses. I just wanna say sorry for taking too damn long, I'll try to do better.
> 
> Don't hate me :c
> 
> I hope the sexy time in this chapter was worth the wait, lemme know what you think. I hope your weekend was good, and your upcoming days even better, stay safe and take care <3


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy c:

Wednesday afternoon and Steve is already exhausted, he has been working nonstop since Sunday afternoon when Bucky left his house, from sketching to painting, to the shop to the Red Room, to laundry and tidy up the house and then back at it all over again.

Bucky and him have been texting during the day and a call for good night at the end of the day and that’s it. Steve is currently tossing the pieces of paper he used to clean up the tattoo piece he just did on a man’s calf when his phone starts ringing on top of the desk behind him. He frowns when he sees the caller but he feels a big smile spreading on his lips.

“Hey”, he answers.

“Steve, Steve, Steve!” Bucky exclaims.

He can’t recognise if his boyfriend is excited or troubled, “is everything okay?” Steve worries.

“Yeah”, Bucky sighs, “I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry, are you busy?” his boyfriend questions.

“Uumm, not really”, Steve hums.

“Okay, go to the lobby and look outside”, Bucky says.

“What? Why?” Steve wonders.

“Just do it”, Bucky pleads.

“Okay”, Steve huffs, holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder to take off the latex gloves, he tosses them at the trash can before he walks out of his working station like his boyfriend asked, he offers Darcy a small smile when she notices him there and then she returns her gaze to the computer.

“Are you there yet?” Bucky asks impatiently.

“Almost”, Steve chuckles, “heeeeey!” he cheers, “it’s snowing!” Steve looks around the sky through the glass from inside the store.

“Yes!” Bucky yells, “that’s what I wanted you to see, I know you like it, it made me think of you”, the brunet says.

“Aaawww!” Steve blushes.

“Although I think about you all the time”, Bucky mumbles, “shit”, Bucky huffs, “forget I said that”, Bucky giggles awkwardly.

“You’re so cute”, Steve chuckles, his eyes focused on the tiny pieces of white ice disappearing on the floor, “I think about you too”, he whispers.

“Yayyyy!” Bucky shouts, “so, why do you like the snow anyway?” he wonders, “it’s slushy, cold and hard”, he huffs. Steve isn’t there to see Bucky’s face but he’s sure his boyfriend is scrunching his nose in that adorable way he does.

“Well, I could never play in it”, Steve comments, taking in sight the passing cars and hurried walkers outside the shop, “for me, it’s not winter if it’s not cold and just like summer is hot”, he shrugs his shoulder, “the thing is that you’ll never find two snowflakes alike but when they reach the floor, they get together and become one thing, when the cold weather starts to fade so does the snow, and then it’s gone, it comes back separately afterwards and so on”, Steve explains, “you know the circle”, he chuckles shyly.

“Hhmm”, Bucky hums and then a long pause, if it wasn’t because Steve can hear his breathing through the phone he would have thought Bucky was gone.

“Bucky?” Steve questions.

“You’re such a nerd”, Bucky giggles.

“Whatever, jerk”, Steve laughs.

“Shut up, punk”, Bucky says, “listen, I gotta go, work and shit, but text me later, okay?” his boyfriend asks.

“Sure thing”, he nods, he hangs up with a big smile on his lips and returns to his duties for the rest of the day.

***

Bucky stands up from his chair behind the desk and stretches his back, his stomach is growling in desperate need for food, at first, he thinks about going to the Deli around the corner and buy something there, but since it started snowing a couple of hours ago he changes his mind, he decides to buy something in the cafeteria inside the Stark Tower.

He goes with a regular club sandwich, and just as he’s drowning his French-fries with ketchup, Tony and Bruce come walking into the dinning area discussing about something.

“Hey, Buckynator!” Tony yells.

“Hi, guys”, he waves at them.

“Hey, you’re gay, can you please tell my Brucey here that he looks wonderful in green?” Tony takes the seat in front of him and Bruce by his side.

“Fuck off, Tony!” he huffs, “not because I’m gay means I’m a fashonista, you asshole”, Bucky chuckles.

“You’re so rude, Tony”, Bruce shakes his head, “How are you, Bucky? You seem cheerful”, the man smiles.

“Uumm, yeah”, Bucky smirks shyly, “I’m okay, thank you, what about you?” he asks after he takes a sip of his drink.

“Of course he’s fine! He has a brand new boyfriend, they’re on the honeymoon stage”, Tony chuckles leaning forward to steal a French fry from Bucky’s plate.

“I’m fine, thanks”, Bruce answers kindly, ignoring Tony’s comment, “how’s your boyfriend?” he says.

“He’s okay, he’s been working a lot lately, and also he has things to put together for the Fundraiser”, Bucky nods.

“Yeah, I heard, it’s great what he’s doing”, Bruce hums, “I’m going to get a cup of coffee, do you want anything?” he asks Bucky.

“No, thank you”, Bucky smiles.

“Something sweet, thanks, honey”, Tony says and Bruce rolls his eyes before he walks away.

“Soooooo”, Tony hums, “how’s life, have you gotten tired of Steve yet?” he teases.

“No, Tony”, Bucky answers plainly with a mouthful, “speaking of which”, Bucky says before he swallows down his food, “I’m going to D.C. for Christmas, then I might go on tour on February, I’m not sure yet and at the end of March to California”, he says.

“What? Who said you could?” Tony arches an eyebrow in question.

“I did, your father and Pepper know already, I’m just being polite enough to let you know”, he chuckles.

“And what about Steve?” Tony wonders.

“What about him?” Bucky adds.

“Does he know about all this escapades you’re having? I can take care of him while you’re gone,” the man with the goatee wiggles his eyebrows at Bucky.

“Steve can take care of himself, thank you very much”, Bucky rolls his eyes, “but yeah, he knows, he’s going with me”, he says proudly.

_Lies._

Steve doesn’t know about the tour, Bucky hasn’t even confirmed yet, he wants to talk to Steve about it before he does, he just hasn’t find the right time to say it, but Bucky means it when he says that Steve can take care of himself, his boyfriend is not a child, but he can deny the fact that he worries about him, _a lot_.

“Damn, how do you do it? Do you have flavored nipples?” Tony chuckles.

“Tony, stop harassing him, please”, Bruce says as he takes back his seat, he hands Tony what it seems to be a bag of blueberries and Tony winks at him in return.

“Thank you, Bruce”, Bucky smiles kindly, “and I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tony”, he shakes his head.

“Did you drop the L word already?” Tony questions.

“I, uuhh…umm”, he mumbles, “no”, he sighs.

“You haven’t find the right time?” the man lifts his eyebrow, “I’ll hurry if I was you”, Tony says before he stands up and walks away from them, leaving Bucky with a frown on his face and his brain confused, “coming, Brucey?” Tony yells over his shoulder.

“I know he’s a bonehead most of the time and he likes to get in people’s business but he means well”, Bruce comments as he stands up, “he’s right, if you have such feelings for your guy, you should talk about it, I’m sure Steve will appreciate it”, he taps Bucky’s shoulder before he leaves to join Tony.

_What the fuck just happened? Am I really that easy to read?_

Bucky doesn’t know if it’s the smile on his lips every time he talks about Steve, or the _stupid_ glee in his eyes or perhaps just the way his face lights up and his body buzzes, but apparently, everyone knows he’s desperately and madly in love with Steve, everyone but Steve.

***

“It’s sad to know that the only way we can get to talk to you is if we bring food”, Sam chuckles placing the bag of takeout on top of the table.

“C’mon, Sam, you know that’s not true, I’ve been really busy lately”, Steve says as he takes a seat.

“Food or Bucky”, Clint giggles, “anyway, you can thank us later for being such good friends”, the guy walks towards the sink to wash his hands.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to eat since he’s been busy all day after Bucky called, doing walk-ins non stop, but then they texted him that they were on their way with food, and they saved Steve’s day, _working with an empty stomach is not too pleasant._  

Steve is grateful, that’s for sure, not because their friends brought him food to the tattoo shop, but because Sam and Clint are right, he’s been so worked up with the art pieces for the Fundraiser that his only free time has been dedicated to Bucky, he knows his friends don’t mind, he has seen them around but they haven’t talked as much as they used to, but what they have is good. They can spend days, even weeks, without talking to each other and things won’t get weird or awkward between them, he knows he can count on them no matter what and vice versa.

“Anyway, how’s everything?” Sam questions while hands him his tuna sub.

“Thanks”, Steve says lifting his food before he places it on the table and starts unwrapping it, “I’m okay, lots of things happening around here, then the Fundraiser, but all is good”, Steve smiles, “how about you?” he wonders.

“The business at The Nest is going great, the VA has more people than ever, and Sharon it’s meeting the family this Christmas, I’m excited”, Sam smirks.

“That’s awesome, you seem happy, I’m glad for you”, Steve hums warmly, “Clint, how are things for you?” he asks before he gives his sub a big bite

“Well, surprisingly, Tasha keeps putting up with my shit”, Clint chuckles, “and I’ve been teaching long distance shots at the shooting range instead of safety issues which is awesome”, he nods.

“That’s great, what are your plans for the holidays?” Steve questions.

“You know, the usual, family and stuff”, he shrugs a shoulder casually, “you’re going to D.C. with Bucky again, right?” Clint adds.

“Yeah, but just for Christmas”, Steve says, “actually, do you have plans for New Year’s?” he wonders.

“Not really, do you have something in mind?” Sam questions.

“You know that Tony always invites us to their parties but that can get pretty crazy”, Steve says, “I was thinking of doing something more chill at the house, just food, movies and such, you can tell your girlfriends if you’ll like, you can stay the night or something”, Steve smiles.

“Sounds like a party”, Sam nods, “I’m sure that Sharon will like that, I know she doesn’t want to do anything big, count us in”, the man says.

“I love grown up sleep overs”, Clint smirks, “”if you know what I mean”, he whispers between his teeth and Sam elbows him on the ribs, “are we having an orgy?” he chuckles.

“No” Steve answers plainly.

“Aaww, c’mon!” Clint giggles.

“You’re not invited anymore, but Nat is, I’ll tell her later when I see her at the Red Room”, Steve smirks.

“Ppff, you’re no fun”, Clint pouts crossing his arms over his chest resting his back on the chair, “but yeah, we’re in too”, the man smiles.

“You can tell someone else if you want”, Steve offers.

“Nah, I think we’re cool”, Sam shrugs his shoulders, “maybe we can exchange Christmas gifts, do like a couples thing”, his friend suggests.

“Aaww, Samuel, you’re the cutest”, Clint smiles teasingly before he puts a potato chip in his mouth.

“Shut up, Barton!” Sam points his index finger at the guy.

“You’re getting nothing but coal, Nat is gonna get all the good stuff”, Steve chuckles.

“Noooouuuu!” Clint pretends to cry, “but yeah, tell her when you see her, I’ll call her later”, he nods.

“Great, either way, talk to them and just sent me a text to confirm or something, so I know how much to cook”, Steve smiles kindly as he continues to eat his sub.

***

“Yo, Bucky, don’t you think you should buy a new case for your guitar?” Dum Dum chuckles handing him the case.

“I know, this thing is awful”, Bucky whines, placing it on the floor to open it and pull out his guitar, “also if we’re gonna start writing new stuff I want to update my pedal board”, he sighs, “soon, I hope”, Bucky says.

Today is a rehearsal night, Bucky is excited about the new things they’re coming up with, is their trademark sound, fast, dirty and heavy as they usually like it but fresh and new at the same time. He takes care of his guitars properly, cleaning them often, changing the strings when they’re becoming old and tuning them when needed, his amp and head are the latest upgrades he did to his gear but that was at the beginning of the year. On the other hand, he needs new pedals since the ones he has are on the verge of getting burnt, the chords are so old that he always has problems untwisting them and the _stupid_ case is so beaten up that the ancient thing is hardly doing its job of keeping his guitar safe.

“So, what about the tour?” Gabe asks as he plugs in his amp.

“What about it?” Monty questions.

“Are we going or nah?” the man wonders.

“I believe we’re all up for it”, Dum Dum nods, “Bucky?” he asks.

“I, uum…” he mumbles, “yeah, I do want to go, it’s just…” Bucky sighs deeply.

_Steve._

“Look, we won’t be mad at you if you can’t, I just gotta know to confirm the girls because if we don’t go, they need to ask someone else in time”, the man in the bowler hat says.

“Do you have the exact dates?” Bucky wonders.

Dum Dum stands up from his stool behind the drum set and pulls out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, he browses through until he finds what he’s looking for, “February 20rd to March 6th”, the redhead says before he locks the screen of his phone and puts it on top of a shelf next to him.

“See? Super convenient”, Gabe smirks teasingly, “right after Valentine’s and you’ll be back in time for your birthday gift”, he chuckles, “c’mon, Bucky!” Gabe insists.

“Convenient indeed”, Buck giggles, “just give me a few days, I’ll confirm you at the end of the week”, he nods.

“Sounds good”, Dum Dum says.

Everyone is plugging in their instruments and getting ready for a night of jamming and writing new things, Bucky has a lot of new ideas and he feels confident about it. He said to Dum Dum that he’ll confirm later on, he needs to tell Steve but he wants to discuss it in person, to see his boyfriend’s face, for Bucky’s own sake, that if Steve says he’s okay with it he means it.

Bucky is sure that Steve is going to say that he should do it, but he can’t deny he’s scared, Steve is a grown man and he knows what he’s doing, on the side, Bucky feels confident that the incident on the previous tour was just an accident as his boyfriend said, and things are different, they’re in a relationship now and it’s serious, and Bucky is a hundredth _and ten_ percent sure that he’s in love with him.

“Hey, guys?” Bucky asks.

“What’s up?” Dum Dum answers from where he’s adjusting the pedals of his drum set.

“You know Steve for a while now, how was his relationship with Peggy?” he wonders all the sudden.

“They had good chemistry, while it lasted”, Gabe shrugs a shoulder casually.

“At first, I seriously thought they were going to last forever”, Monty chuckles, “but then, they just seemed like friends and not girlfriend-boyfriend”, he shakes his head.

“Peggy and him became good friends before they started a relationship, I think that’s why they remained in contact after they broke up”, Dum Dum says, “the thing is that they grew up and they were no longer on each other’s plans, not because they didn’t care about one another, they just wanted different things”, he explains.

“Why are you asking?” Gabe asks.

“I don’t know”, he shrugs a shoulder looking down at the floor while he kicks the edge of the rug under Dum Dum’s drum set, “I was just wondering, I guess”, he sighs.

_What if the same thing happens with me?_

“Don’t do this to yourself, Bucky, don’t worry about it”, Gabe pats Bucky’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna be honest for a second”, Dum Dum starts as he places one of the cymbals on it’s stand, “at the beginning, I though you only liked Steve because he’s a good looking guy, even I can recognized that…”

“Everybody can”, Monty chuckles.

“No, but seriously… maybe you can’t tell but you’ve changed, luckily for good”, Dum Dum nods, “you’re more like when we first met ya’ or even better, you’re not angry all the time”, he chuckles and Bucky hums at the last part, a small smile spreading on his lips, “and Steve? He doesn’t seem so wrapped up on himself anymore and I think you’ve helped with that”, Dum Dum comments.

“Awww, l’amour!” Monty says with perfect French accent, “we know you love him”, he adds.

“Really? Do you really can tell?” Bucky chuckles scratching the back of his neck, the tip of his ears and the apple’s of his cheeks rosy. The trio of men exchange side looks until the three of them return their gaze to Bucky; he’s starting to believe that he’s really see-through about this whole thing and not as discrete as he thought he was.

“Is that a rhetorical question?” Monty frowns his eyebrows in question.

“We’re not blind”, Gabe laughs.

“I hope that the new lyrics you write are not all about Steve, we have a reputation to uphold”, Dum Dum chuckles.

“Oh, fuck off!” Bucky yells but there isn’t any hint of anger in his voice, “thanks guys”, he whispers with a smirk on his face.

“Let’s get this started then!” Gabe strums a string of his bass loudly.

***

“Please, mercy!” Steve begs tapping the fingertips of one of his hand against the palm of the other for time out, “stop, I can’t!” he shakes his head rapidly.

“You’re so whiny”, Natasha chuckles offering a hand to him.

Steve arrived at the Red Room almost two hours ago and started his workout right away, doing his regular warm ups, stretching and running before his training of the night. About forty minutes ago, Natasha walked towards him and suggested they trained like the old days, doing fast and heavy combat training, and Steve has been staying fit and doing exercise almost daily but this is _madness!_

He takes Natasha’s hand politely and stands back up as she pulls him with an incredible amount of force for someone of her size, he’s panting heavily but his breath is under control, nothing like when he has an asthma attack, this feels good and comforting in a way, but now it’s time to get some rest.

The both of them walk towards one of the benches outside the lockers area, Steve opens his water bottle and takes a long sip, Natasha sits next to him cleaning her sweaty forehead with a small towel.

“Hey, I talked to Clint and Sam about the Holidays”, Steve says, “and I suggested we could spend New Year’s at my house, all of us”, he smiles.

“Sounds good with me”, she shrugs a shoulder.

“Sam suggested we exchanged Christmas gifts that day, like a couples thing”, Steve comments.

“Ooh yes! I know what I’m getting you”, she smirks teasingly.

“I don’t know if that’s good or bad”, Steve chuckles.

“You’ll see”, she nods.

“Okay”, he laughs.

“Hey, I met Maria Hill, she said you sent her to me, she’s been coming here in the morning with Coulson”, Natasha comments.

“Oh, yeah”, Steve nods, “she wanted to exercise in a place where nobody bother her, so we guessed…” he shrugs a shoulder.

“She’s really good, she’s had some training before”, she says, “I think we’re gonna have fun together, seems like we have some things in common”, Natasha adds.

“That’s good”, he smiles, “I’ve seen some of her work, she’s really talented”, he nods.

“And what are you waiting for?” she asks.

“I’m sorry?” Steve frowns his eyebrows, cleaning the droplets of sweat falling down his temples with the back of his hand.

“I know you, you want her to work at the shop, to be a part of your team”, Natasha lifts an eyebrow.

“You know, Bucky’s always saying you’re a spy, I’m starting to believe that”, he giggles.

“One of my many talents”, she winks.

“But you’re right, I need more people at the shop, I’m thinking about expanding for extra space since I might be able to get a good deal on the place next to ours, therefore more job”, Steve says.

“And Bucky?” she asks and Steve frowns again in question, “he can be the new piercer, you and I know that he’s really good at it”, Natasha stands up and grabs Steve’s bottle of water from his hands to take a sip.

“I know”, he sighs, “I do want to ask him but I want to sort some things out first, logistics and all”, Steve comments.

“I get it, I’m not pushing, but I heard somewhere that he might be interested”, she pats Steve’s shoulder.

With that, Steve says his goodbyes and goes back to the locker room to grab his stuff and head home, he covers himself properly to prevent getting sick since the days have been colder, today started snowing a bit and the sky is dark and chillier than usual.

When he arrives, he smiles to himself staring at all the lights of the neighbourhood, Christmas decorations and families on their houses having dinner, kids starting their vacations and parents getting ready for the next day. He gets home to a very hungry and cheerful dog, he kneels down and pets his four legged friend for a few minutes until he stands back up and goes to the kitchen to serve Captain some food, he plugs in the lights of the Christmas tree before he walks upstairs to take a much needed shower.

Steve is fresh and wearing clean clothes in no time, the house is warm and cozy since he remembered to turn on the heating system, he takes his laptop from the desk inside the studio where he has been working the pass few nights, but since today was a tiring day, he decides to take a break and have a late night snack, put on a movie on the living room while he browses on his computer.

He chooses Gremlins to continue with the Christmas spirit, he leaves the computer on the sofa and moves to the kitchen to fix himself some dinner, it’s past ten and he probably shouldn’t have such a big meal so late but he’s feeling hungry as usual and chooses to cook a piece of grilled chicken to eat with a salad, the noises of the movie playing in the background and the living room happily lit up by the Christmas decorations.

***

He has small chit-chat with his band mates, Bucky isn’t entirely sure why he asked about Peggy, he doesn’t feel jealous or disappointed to hear that she means a lot to Steve, maybe he even loved her, and knowing his boyfriend, he probably still does. He’s sure that Steve wants him and where Bucky is emotionally, he can only hope that someday Steve can love him too.

When he gets out of Dum Dum’s house the sun is down and the sky dark and cold, he unlocks his bike and decides to drive around his neighborhood for a while and clear his mind; his back is aching for being glued to a chair all day and his ass-cheeks sore and almost joint together, then he was cramped inside Dum Dum’s garage for almost two hours and it made him feel suffocated. He fixes his jacket, the zipper of his leather jacket all the way up, a beanie over his head, the laces of his boots tight around his ankles and his bag resting across his back.

He hops on the bicycle and checks his phone, he has a new text from his boyfriend saying he was at the Red Room, Bucky responds he’s going out for a ride to which Steve tells him to be careful and text him when he gets home, the brunet smiles as he puts on his earphones to start his ride. He browses through his phone and plays Tigers Jaw discography on shuffle, their music being emotional and melodic, and perhaps way more emo than pop-punk for Bucky’s ear, but it’s calming and enjoyable, _perfect for today’s weather._

He rides and rides and rides, his feet planted on the pedals and his legs pushing down while his hands turn the wheel, cold air against his face but peaceful thoughts on the back of his mind, his shoulder isn’t aching so much since his body feels on fire from all the exercise. He has always been a physical person but not necessarily a sporty one, he likes to stay fit and healthy but that’s about it, he’s aware that the past few days he has ridden his bike less and less, and the only full body exercise he has been doing is with his boyfriend, _perhaps I should do this more often_.

The brunet arrives home late at night; his clothes are damp and sticky against his warm skin, his muscles aching and his legs shaking as he climbs the three flies of stairs but it’s a good feeling overall.

“Honey, I’m home”, he yells as soon as he enters the apartment, Natasha’s coat is hanging from the rack behind the door but she is nowhere to be seen, “Nat?” he questions as he gets rid of his outwear, tossing his backpack over the couch.

“In here!” she yells from inside the kitchen.

“I said ‘honey, I’m home’, didn’t you hear me?” he remarks.

“Yeah, but I’m nobody’s honey”, she arches an eyebrow at him.

“Well, at least not mine”, he giggles, “What are you making?” he asks when he notices the pans on the stove, leaning in to take a peek over her shoulder.

“Our dinner, what happened to you?” she asks swatting away Bucky’s hand when he tries to lift the lid of the pot.

“I went out for a ride”, he says, “I have to shower again”, he pouts.

“Please”, she smirks teasingly, “the food will be ready when you’re out”, Natasha informs.

“Thanks”, he says over his shoulder.

He walks to his room, grabs clean clothes and heads towards the bathroom, twenty minutes later he’s sitting around the table eating beside his friend and chatting about their days, she even tells him that Steve is doing great at the Red Room again, exercising and keeping his health under control which makes Bucky feel proud, he has to fight the urge to imagine his sweaty boyfriend grunting and panting.

Bucky is currently spread on his bed with his laptop on the side playing some music and a book on his hand, and then he remembers he was supposed to text his boyfriend to let him know he was home, he sends him a text but he doesn’t get a reply right away, he checks on the computer for the time and the clock reads fifteen minutes past eleven, Steve could be working or sleeping, right when he’s about to text him goodnight he gets a respond.

 **Boyfriend*3*** : Hi c:

 **Bucky** : Are you busy? :D

 **Boyfriend*3*** : Not really, I was washing some dishes :d

 **Bucky** : Let’s Skype, I wanna see you *3*

 **Boyfriend** ***3*** : Okay, wait a second, let me open it.

Waiting impatiently, Bucky sits himself a bit straighter, his back resting on the headboard of his bed, and in a few minutes he sees when the little message on the corner of the computer screen pops up, notifying him that his boyfriend is now online. He clicks the message right away to call Steve; he doesn’t care if it makes him look too eager, he just wants to see Steve’s face before going to sleep.

“Steve?” Bucky questions, the computer seems to be on the coffee table in the living room, pointing straight at the couch where Steve normally sits but he’s not there, which is weird since he did answer the call.

“Sorry”, Steve giggles as he comes into frame, “I was looking for the remote to turn down the volume”, he explains sitting down with Captain right next to him, _and my heart melts._ Steve’s hair looks damp, like he showered no long ago, he’s wearing a white plain t-shirt that stretches across his chest tightly, paired with loose navy-blue sweatpants, his eyes seem sleepy and tired, he just looks so adorable that Bucky lets out a long and embarrassing sigh, “Bucky?” his boyfriend asks.

“Oh, yeah”, he laughs when he realizes he had been staring, “hi, I missed you”, he smiles.

“I missed you too”, Steve nods with a wide smile of his own, “how was your day?” he questions.

“It was good, I’m tired”, Bucky comments, “and yours? What are you watching?” he wonders.

“Same, I’m watching Gremlins”, he chuckles, his hand rested over Captain’s body.

“You’re such a dork”, he says, “my dork, though”, Bucky places a hand over his chest and smirks at Steve, his boyfriend blushes a bit and he smiles wide.

“Hey, I already bought your Christmas gifts”, Steve cheers.

“Steeeeeve”, Bucky singsongs, “I thought we agreed we weren’t going to buy each other anything”, he reminds.

“We said something small”, he says, “it’s small”, Steve smirks.

“Fine”, Bucky sighs, “I already bought your gift too”, he chuckles.

“See? We’re even”, the blonde nods.

“Yeah”, Bucky yawns before he stretches his arms over his head, “Nat said you invited them over for New Year’s, I’m glad we’re doing something chill, I don’t want to be in a crowded place where I can’t hear my own thoughts”, he chuckles, almost dragging his tongue, his eyelids heavy with sleep.

“I agree”, Steve says, “baby, I think you should go to sleep”, his boyfriend whispers.

“Mmhhm”, Bucky hums, “but only if you go to sleep too”, he mumbles.

“Deal”, he nods, “good nigh, Buck”, Steve smiles.

“Good nighty, Stevie”, he waves at the computer making kissy noises leaning into the camera, the last thing he hears is Steve’s adorable giggles right before he closes his laptop to put it away and finally puts his mind at rest for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few things:
> 
> 1\. I'm aware this chapter was more on the shorter side (sorry?), but don't you worry, I think you're really gonna enjoy what's next, and I'll be updating in a few days, be patient! :D
> 
> 2\. I hope you like where the story is going (I love reading your suggestions and answering everything I can without spoiling anything), some of you have been asking to know about Steve's backstory (at least in this fic) and I think you'll be happy to know I'm working on that. There's a lot in store for these two lovebirds, we're gonna explore more into their relationship and how the two of them work around each other and their friends (I just love domestic Stucky, can you blame me?)
> 
> 3\. Also, some of you have been commenting a lot of positive things and I just want you to know that it really means a lot to me, it's exactly what I need to cheer me up and keep writing. To the ones who have been here since the beginning of the story and to all of the newer readers, thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> 4\. Last but not least, I can't stress this enough, be safe. There's a lot of bad things happening all over the world, and we can make a difference, but we gotta start with ourselves, be kind to one another, life can be tough and everyone has their own battle to fight, sometimes all we need is someone to be there for us and listen, you can be that someone.
> 
> Thanks again!  
> XXOO  
> Celina a.k.a. bitter_eyes
> 
> P.S. Feels weird to sign with my name, but we've been here for quiet a while, it's time to take this relationship to the next level, right? x)


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look, new chapter! :D

“Steve, I can’t believe you did it again”, Coulson says to him as soon as Steve walks through the doors. 

“Did what?” Steve frowns in confusion.

“I told you last year, you don’t need to buy so many things”, Coulson shakes his head.

“Well, there are a lot of kids out there that don’t have anything”, he shrugs, “it’s the least I can do”, he nods.

“You outdid yourself, but thank you so much”, Coulson says warmly.

“You’re welcome”, he bows his head at him before the man walks away with a box of toys.

Steve doesn’t have a lot of time to go and buy the toys and clothes personally or a way to transport the stuff, so he orders online and has them delivered at SHIELD, at the beginning, he just bough gift cards and let Coulson go and buy everything since the man has been doing a Toy Drive for ten years, putting local bands together to play for a good cause, all the profits from the show go to the things for the kids or instead of paying the admission, people can get inside with an unwrapped brand new toy or a piece of clothing.

He has a lot of respect for the man since it’s something he does out of the goodness of his heart, not expecting anything in return, not everybody can or wants to do that.

“Hi, boyfriend”, Bucky’s voice whispers against his ear.

“Hello”, he smiles wide, Bucky places his arms around his waist and hugs him from behind, he runs his fingertips over the fabric of the brunet’s jacket feeling the warmness of his skin through the piece of clothing.

Bucky gives him a soft kiss on the back of his neck before he walks around him to stand in front of him with a cute smirk on his lips, that smile that Steve has missed so much since the last Sunday he saw him, “I missed you”, Bucky says first.

“Me too”, Steve nods, “how are you?” he asks.

“I’m okay, I got here a while ago with Nat and Clint”, Bucky comments, “I was helping Coulson retrieving the toys”, he shrugs a shoulder, “how was your day?” he questions.

“That’s nice, my day was fine, you know work and work”, Steve chuckles.

“I know”, Bucky sighs.

Their friends walk towards them to greet him, they move to the bar and say hello to the rest of the people in the place. The show has a lot of bands in the lineup, all of them different genres and a mixture of people that Steve finds fascinating they can get along fine even though they’re so different, after all, it’s all for a good cause so they better leave their beefs at the door.

The band that’s currently playing is the third one of the day, Steve has already seen all of them before, they’re really good but right now he’s not too interested to go back and spend his time inside the stage room, he prefers to stay outside and help Coulson with everything he can. They’re currently sitting on the stools by the bar, Sam to his left side and Bucky on the right.

“Hey, Steve”, Sam whispers leaning into his personal space, “don’t turn around but Rumlow’s here”, he says.

Steve tries not to roll his eyes, he notices that Bucky tenses a bit as soon as Sam mentions the man’s name, Steve places his hand over Bucky’s and squeezes a bit, “are you okay?” Steve asks in a hushed voice.

“Yeah”, his boyfriend offers him a small smile.

A few minutes after that, he tries to be discrete and he stretches his back to take a peek over his shoulder to look Rumlow’s way. The man seems thinner than usual, making his cheekbones more prominent over his stubble, a cut wound on his left cheek that’s starting to look like it’s going to leave a scar, he has his trademark scowl on his forehead, his jaw flinching, his hair short and dressed in all black, he’s accompanied by Jack and two other guys that he doesn’t know but he has seen around.

Steve puts back his attention on his boyfriend and friends, he’s there to have a good time, not to look for a fight where there isn’t one anymore. He knows that the man makes Bucky uncomfortable and he really wants to lay back and relax and hang out with his friends, but if the man by any means tries to give him a bad time, Steve’s not going to tolerate it.

***

Bucky notices that the pile of toys is getting bigger at the entrance of the place, Steve is helping Coulson to sort out the items into themes: action toys, dolls, cars, board games and such. He grabs one of the biggest but lightest boxes to help clear out the space.

As he walks to the back of the bar towards the stock room, right next to the backstage area, he notices on the corner of his eye that someone is following him, at the beginning he thinks is his boyfriend but as he gets inside, he notices it’s _definitely_ not Steve.

He leans forward to place down the box along with the rest of toys that are already there, he swallows a big lump of saliva and stretches back up, “you’re after the toys now?” he wonders when he turns around to face the other man.

“One specifically”, the guy says and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“What do you want, Brock?” he asks defensively.

“Why do you have to be like that?” the man shakes his head, “you look good”, he nods his head and points with his finger up and down towards Bucky.

“I know”, he shrugs his shoulder.

“You haven’t been at HYDRA in a while”, Brock comments.

“I’m not going back to that place, not to be lectured by Mr. Pierce”, Bucky huffs.

“You’re so ungrateful, James”, the man sighs deeply as he pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger.

“Are you done?” Bucky bursts before he starts walking towards the door.

“Wait!” Brock leans to the side and grabs Bucky’s arm, his grip isn’t so tight and Bucky can easily get away from him if he tries, “I talked to him for you, he’s not gonna bother you if you’re with me”, Brock smirks.

_Is this asshole for real?_

Bucky knows Brock’s patterns by now, he does as he pleases for his own well being, for him and no one else, he still hasn’t paid for what he did and told Steve and two can play this game. He’s not having anything coming from this _piece of shit_ , Bucky is not going to fight him, he’s realistic and he’s aware he can put one or two hits on him but he’s not going to win like that, but he knows a way to get into Brock’s brain, the man is not too complex and if Bucky can give him a hard time, he’s going to go for it.

He straightens his back, his shoulders tossed backwards, his chin up high and his hips loose, he turns around and takes a step forward so he’s now standing in Brock’s personal space, “you did?” Bucky asks in a sweet voice and his eyes open wide in surprise, placing a hand over Brock’s strong chest, he can feel the heat coming from the man’s body through the various layers of clothing.

“I’ll even take you back if you ask nicely”, Brock arches an eyebrow teasingly.

“Oh, Brock, I don’t deserve you”, Bucky says in awe, trying to sound as serious as possible, even though he’s laughing his ass off on the inside, “you really would?” he asks hopeful.

“Your stupid boyfriend beat me up good, I’m not gonna lie”, he shakes his head as he moves his hands and places them over Bucky’s hips, “but if you let me fuck that pretty ass of yours, I might call it even”, the older man shrugs casually.

Bucky wasn’t wrong, this man will never change, good thing he walked away from him before it was too late, Brock’s attitude it’s not like a flu that will go away after a few days. On the good side, he learned what bothers him the most, if something, Bucky can make him feel so high and entangled in the moment, and that’s what he plans to do, only to push him from up high that he won’t be able to stand back up, _just like he tried to do to me_.

“I’ll have to admit, it does sound tempting”, Bucky smirks, bating his long eyelashes at him before he pushes Brock back making him fall into the couch behind him.

***

A lot of people had brought toys and Steve feels thrilled about it, the stock room is beginning to fill with toys, the same with the lobby area. Bucky took a box to the back a while ago and he still hasn’t come back. He notices that Coulson is trying to lift a box from the floor and Steve gets closer to him to help.

“I’ll take it”, Steve offers, stretching his arms towards him.

“Are you sure?” Coulson asks.

“Yeah, no problem”, he nods taking the box from the other man’s hands.

He holds the box close to his body while he walks to the back, just when he’s a few steps away from the room, he notices the door is slightly open and he can hear his boyfriend’s voice coming from inside, he stops dead on his tracks and places the box on the floor carefully. Bucky isn’t alone, there’s a another husky voice in the room, is Rumlow’s, a few weeks ago he would’ve jumped right in and see if Bucky needed any help in case the man was trying to hurt him, but in that moment he feels like the floor under him is shaking.

It isn’t the fact that Bucky is in the same room as Rumlow, is what he hears, and worst, he dares to take a peek through the half open door and he has to lean back and place his hand against the wall for support. Steve realizes the floor isn’t shaking, he is, he feels like he just received a fast punch on the stomach, perhaps there’s an asthma attack coming, his throat is dry and his eyes burning from the tears that start gathering on the corners.

He shouldn’t have stayed there, he wants to run fast and away from there, to hide and disappear, but he can’t, his knees feel weak and he’s sure he’s going to pass out any moment if he tries to move. The blond stands there frozen against the wall of the dark hallway with a hand over his mouth to try to muffle his cries when the tears begin to fall down his cheeks.

Bucky is sitting on Rumlow’s lap, he has his legs spread open resting on each side of the other man’s thighs, Rumlow is groping Bucky’s ass while the younger man’s hands are placed on each side of Rumlow’s neck.

“I can’t believe I lasted so long without your hands on me”, Bucky whispers.

“Wait till’ you have my dick inside of you”, Brock growls.

“Did you miss me?” Bucky asks, “tell me more, what did you miss the most about me?” he says.

“I missed those lips of yours around my dick, your wet mouth, your voice screaming at me, your tight ass stretched around me”, the man grunts.

“Yeah?” Bucky moans.

“You’re such a whore, I love it”, Brock says.

Steve feels his chest grow tighter as the words come out of Bucky’s mouth, he’s overall bothered by Rumlow’s presence but that’s not the only problem now, hearing his boyfriend say such things, encouraging him to keep saying them, asking for Rumlow’s touch, it makes Steve feel like he has been living a lie.

Bucky telling him how much he means to him, Steve is his and he is Steve’s, that he wants nobody but him, he makes him feel like nobody else, Steve’s the best thing that ever happened to him, he misses him when he’s not around, he goes to bed smiling and he wakes up even happier, he cares about him, takes care of him, supports him.

_Was it all lies?_

“I’m so glad you missed me”, Bucky purrs, “cause’ I didn’t”, he says.

The blond has to blink a few times, he isn’t sure if he heard right or if he’s hearing what he desperately wants to, more tears falling down his face as his sobs begin to cease, he takes a few deep breaths to try to clear his mind, he lowers his hand and passes his tongue over his lips before he tries to swallow some saliva and moisturize his dry and aching throat.

“What?” Brock shouts, apparently Steve isn’t dreaming, the tone on the older man’s voice lets him know he isn’t the only one surprised.

***

Luckily, Bucky managed to put his arms on Brock’s shoulders and pinned him back against the couch, the man did kiss his neck but Bucky didn’t want those disgusting lips any near his mouth. Brock has been groping his ass and moving his hips upwards to try to rub his dick against Bucky’s behind and he desperately tries to hold back his vomit. He had to go on with his plan to make his point, to let Brock know that he’s not afraid anymore, and there’s nothing he can do now to bring him down, Bucky won’t let him take this happiness away from him.

“I didn’t miss you, not even a little”, Bucky says proudly, “and all those things you want from me”, Bucky rubs Brock’s shoulder teasingly, “my lips, my mouth”, he places two fingers against his wet lips, “my ass”, he moves his hips back and forth rubbing his crotch against Brock, “there are not yours anymore”, he announces plainly.

Brock looks up at him with a frown on his face, like the circuits of his brain are starting to overheat processing Bucky’s words, he looks more than irritated, he looks pissed and deceived, and maybe a little disappointed and Bucky couldn’t feel more pleased with himself.

“I know, you’re someone else’s bitch now”, Brock says when he comes to his senses, _not all of them_.

“I’m nobody’s bitch”, he shakes his head, “Steve’s nothing like you”, Bucky keeps rubbing Brock’s chest from side to side, the man’s hands go still on his sides while he looks at Bucky with his eyes open wide.

“You’re both pathetic, he probably doesn’t fuck you right”, Brock mumbles between his teeth. Bucky notices that the man is having a hard time believing that tables have turned, the guy is running out of comebacks and Bucky is enjoying himself making him cringe with anger.

“This has nothing to do with sex, but believe me, he does”, Bucky smiles wide, “I just don’t need to brag about it like some people do”, he pats Brock’s shoulder.

Bucky leans back and untangles his legs to stand up, Brock stays there sitting on the couch looking up at Bucky with a surprised expression on his face, “you’re full of shit”, Brock whispers.

“I can’t believe you almost ruined this for me and I’m fucking happy you didn’t”, Bucky says brushing off the dust from his knees, “at this point, everyone knows what a scumbag you are”, Bucky smiles at him with his chin up high.

Bucky isn’t exactly sure why Brock doesn’t throws himself at him, he can easily beat the shit out of him, a few punches and he would’ve passed out on that dark room, he could’ve walked away and let him there and nobody will know, but he doesn’t, so maybe he’s following Steve’s advice to not lay finger on him, Bucky isn’t sure. He does feel proud about the fact that Brock still looks like he can’t believe what’s happening, or perhaps he’s even hopeful and hasn’t punched Bucky because he wants to let him think this through, perhaps he really does want Bucky back.

_But, guess what?_

_I don’t._

As harsh as it sounds, Brock could die and Bucky wouldn’t even care, he has made him suffer so much to the point of making him push away the people he loves the most, to leave him broken and alone for Brock to pick up just whenever he wanted, Bucky has had enough suffering for a lifetime and now that he finally has someone that’s worth more than all the good things in life, he won’t let that go so easily.

“You don’t actually believe that”, Brock shakes his head.

“I do”, Bucky nods, “I think I always have, you just can’t control me anymore”, he says casually.

The older man turns around and moves towards the door, Bucky feels like he has won, and perhaps he did, Brock is actually walking away without another word, but Bucky isn’t going to let him, he still has one thing he wants to say to him.

“You know?” Bucky adds, the man stops by the door and turns his head around, a deep scowl on his face and his eyes filled with rage, the edge of his jaw clenching as he presses his teeth together, “what I think bothers you the most is not that I’m not yours anymore”, Bucky shakes his head, “is the fact that you will never be able to compete with Steve”, he says it with nothing but pride and sincerity in his voice, “you’re nothing next to him”, he looks back right into Brock’s eyes, the man looks legitimately hurt by Bucky’s words.

“I should’ve guessed you’re still the same dumb brat you’ve always been”, Brock whispers.

“Sure, I had an awesome time”, Bucky says sarcastically, “it was great seeing you”, he chuckles while he waves a hand after Brock walks away.

Bucky moves to see that the boxes are in place, he doesn’t know how long it has been but he’s sure that his boyfriend must be wondering where he is. Right before he turns around, he hears someone clearing their throat by the door, he rolls his eyes thinking that maybe Brock hasn’t had enough of his words, he turns and just when he’s about to say another snarky comment he tilts his head up, he presses his lips together as soon he sees who it is, his piercing trapped between his teeth.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

His boyfriend is standing there awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other, his eyes are red and puffy and his cheeks flushed, Bucky wants to run towards him and hug him but he doesn’t know if he should, Steve has clearly been crying and Bucky is sure that it’s because he saw him with Brock.

“Steve…” he whispers, “this is isn’t what it looks like”, he shakes his head frantically.

***

Maybe Steve shouldn’t have been listening to this conversation in the first place, he wasn’t suppose to be there, but as unfortunate as it was at the beginning, he panicked to the point he almost had an asthma attack, and just when he thought his heart was going to give up, the unexpected happen, and Steve felt joyful he stayed behind. First, Steve was sure everything was over between them, as much as he loves Bucky, he’s not sure he can stand to be with someone that’s willing to put their relationship aside for a guy like Brock, a man that has hurt him so much, but then, Bucky did it again, and proved Steve he really wants nobody but him, and Steve has another reason to fall head over heels for him.

First it was all an act and it felt so real that even Brock bought it, then he got so mad that Steve thought the man was going to snap any second, he has been a witness of that temper before, Steve was willing to jump at him if he tried to hurt his boyfriend, but the other guy was so shocked that he tried to mumble lame comebacks when Bucky just kept saying all those words that made Steve want to jump due to happiness.

Bucky says goodbye to Brock and Steve stands still in the dark against the wall, Brock passes right next to him and he doesn’t even notice him, then he goes inside the room and as soon as Bucky sees him he opens his eyes wide, he obviously can tell that Steve was crying and he tries to explain right away, even though he doesn’t have to.

Steve doesn’t say anything in response to Bucky’s words, the brunet stands there looking down at the floor with a sad expression on his face, fiddling with his piercing like he normally does when he’s nervous. He walks there and grabs Bucky’s chin between his thumb and index finger and lifts his head, his boyfriend’s gray-blue eyes are glassy but they look brighter than ever.

“I know”, Steve whispers moving both of his hands to each side of Bucky’s neck, but Bucky ducks his head again.

“I’m sorry, I swear, I didn’t…” he shakes his head.

“Hey, look at me”, Steve demands, trying to keep his voice low and soft, his boyfriend looks back up, his bottom lip swollen for being chewed on so much, “I know”, Steve says again nodding his head, “maybe I shouldn’t have but I heard what you told him”, he brushes his thumbs against Bucky’s jawline.

“You did?” Bucky asks in surprise.

“I’m so proud of you”, Steve smiles wide and Bucky launches himself at him, he places his arms around the blond’s waist tightly, Steve returns the hug, bringing Bucky closer to him.

“I want you, just you”, Bucky whispers against the crook of his neck, his body shivering against him.

Steve cups Bucky’s face on his hands again; he kisses his temple, then his forehead, down to his nose, cheeks, then his mouth, a few close-mouthed pecks, sweet and slow, until Bucky parts his mouth desperately. Bucky sucks Steve’s lower lip inside his mouth hungrily as he moves his hands up, rubbing his palms against Steve’s chest softly, the blond lowers his hands and places them on Bucky’s ass to lift him off the floor. Bucky wraps his legs around Steve’s waist right away, his hands still around his neck; the blond takes a few steps forward until they bump into the wall next to the couch.

The couple keeps kissing and touching, Bucky is making the tiniest moans and hums on the back of his throat, it drives Steve crazy. In no time, as their kisses get hotter, their lips wet sucking at every inch of skin they can reach, Bucky’s back is pinned against the wall by Steve’s body weight, the brunet is moving his hips up and down, rubbing his crotch with Steve’s, the blond licks Bucky’s neck and nibbles his earlobes between his teeth, from one to the other, from kissing to sucking.

“Steve”, Bucky moans, “oh, shit”, he sighs tilting his head backwards.

“Buck, baby”, he gasps against his boyfriend, “what do you say…” he starts before Bucky covers his mouth again, his puffy and red lips taking over the kiss while he holds for dear life with his arms around Steve’s neck, “if we leave?” Steve finishes.

“Right now?” he questions, hot breath against Steve’s jawline.

“Yeah”, he nods with his eyes shut.

“Mine or yours?” Bucky asks and Steve giggles.

“Yours is closer”, Steve sighs, loosening his grip around Bucky’s waist to put him down.

They fix their clothes and messy hairs, they laugh and try to calm a bit before they walk out towards the bar, the couple look around for their friends on the lobby but they’re nowhere to be seen, Steve thinks for a second about going back inside the stage room to let them know they’re leaving but he figures he can just send them a text, or perhaps they’re outside.

***

“Where are you guys going? The show is only half way through”, Clint announces as they make their way out the bar and Steve smiles at them and waves goodbye over his shoulder.

“We’re going to the apartment”, Bucky says winking at him and Natasha, “see you guys later”, he adds.

“More like tomorrow, have fun”, Natasha says smirking.

“Thank you!”, the brunet yells and hurries after his boyfriend.

The sky is dark and cloudy but luckily it isn’t raining like the previous days, the streets are lonely and cold, Steve is already outside leaning on his motorcycle looking good with his tight jeans, brown boots, a white plain shirt and black wool letterman jacket over it. Bucky scoots over to him putting on his leather jacket slowly.

“Hey”, Bucky says walking up to him.

Steve grabs Bucky from his belt loops and pulls him between his legs. _This is some greaser kink right here_. Bucky leans over to kiss him and Steve’s right hand travels up to Bucky’s neck, his left hand going down Bucky’s ass. He feels Steve biting down tenderly on his lip piercing and squeezes his ass lightly. It’s something so out of character, and even thought there’s no much people around, PDA is not their style, which only makes Bucky’s blood boil, it makes him know how much Steve really wants him, the feeling is only mutual.

“Whoa!” Bucky gasps, “Okay, okay, let’s go”, he pushes Steve back.

“Sorry, I got carried away”, Steve he giggles, he runs a hand through his hair before leans to the side, he grabs the extra helmet and gives it to Bucky.

They get on the motorcycle and Steve seems fired up, it’s like he’s buzzing, the warmth from his skin radiating through his clothes. His cheeks slightly flushed as the frozen air touches them. Bucky presses close to his back hugging him tightly. He caresses Steve’s chest during the drive lowering his grip slowly, trying not to distract him from driving.

***

Steve is in a hurry, Bucky had left him really hot and flustered at the show and he’s more than half hard under his jeans. His boyfriend is rubbing his chest and it sends goosebumps all over his body, he can barely pay attention to the road, then Bucky lowers his grip and Steve shudders with anticipation, he really needs to get to Bucky’s apartment quick.

Bucky seems to notice Steve’s erection as soon as his hands reach down his belt and he starts rubbing him slowly over the thick fabric of his jeans. Steve is glad that they’re only a street away and there’s nobody around to witness how his boyfriend is groping him, but he grabs Bucky’s hand at the red light either way.

“Stop it, Buck”, Steve pleads, “you can do this when we get there”, he can’t help but bite his lip as he says it. Steve feels Bucky’s body heat behind him, the brunet’s hands on him, everything just makes him feel even more aroused.

“I’m sorry, I’m the same”, Bucky whispers pressing his crotch against Steve, the blonde gulps loudly and revs up the engine.

As they turn the corner and arrive at the building, Bucky runs to the front door quickly after he gets down and puts the helmet over the bike, “c’mon, hurry up!” he urges while Steve is covering the motorcycle.

Steve, who is also in a hurry, tries to do it as quick as possible and runs to meet Bucky in the stairs. The blond kisses his boyfriend roughly when he’s in reach, Bucky puts his arms around Steve’s neck, the kiss is hurried and awkward, but _who cares, right?_ Steve lifts Bucky’s legs over his hips; the brunet wraps them around him immediately while Steve holds him close as he climbs the stairs. He stops in the first rest and pushes Bucky against the wall, kissing his neck messily, his wet lips sucking at the tender skin.

“C’mon, Rogers”, Bucky giggles, “two more flights of stairs”, the brunet chuckles between moans, Steve gulps and kisses Bucky’s lips again, still lifting him the same way, but now taking two steps at a time.

He lowers Bucky down just a fleet of stairs away from the apartment. Bucky throws himself at him pushing him on the stairs, straddling his hips, “Bucky”, Steve gasps when Bucky reaches between them to unzip Steve’s jeans. The blond places his hands under the hem of Bucky’s shirt caressing the warm skin underneath, “hey”, Steve whispers, “we’re not inside the apartment yet”, he says between kisses, Bucky looks at him, his eyes dark and full of lust, then he gulps and nods, his boyfriend stands up quickly and skips the last few steps up fumbling with his keys.

Steve turns around and rushes up to meet Bucky but instead of waiting back, he pushes himself against him, pinning the other man to the door and reaches down his jeans, the brunet moans in return and pushes his ass back against Steve’s crotch, moving against him.

“I want you so bad”, Steve grunts tightening his grip on Bucky’s dick stroking slowly over his clothes. Bucky’s cheek against the door, his right hand struggling to grab the correct key.

“You want me? How do you want me?” Bucky gasps when Steve bites his ear tenderly, nibbling his earlobe carefully with his teeth.

“I want you on top of me so I can watch you, fuck you until you come all over me”, Steve whispers into his ear.

“Holy shit”, Bucky moans trying to find the key, ­“what else?” he wonders.

“I want you opening that door so I can fuck you on the other side of it”, Steve chuckles warmly, Bucky hurries up then, struggling with the key so he can open the door as his boyfriend requested.

As soon as they’re on the other side, Steve pushes Bucky against the door like he said he would, kissing him passionately, their lips wet and tongues hot while he tries to push down his now unbuttoned jeans.

***

Bucky palms Steve’s penis over his jeans, and when he starts moaning against Bucky’s ear, that’s when the brunet pulls his boyfriend’s dick out of his pants hurriedly, Bucky struggles to take off his own shoes and leaves his jeans on the floor.

Finally, when they are naked from the waist down, he kicks their clothes to the side, Steve takes a step forward and places one of his legs between Bucky’s, the brunet grabs both of their dicks and strokes them together, slow and slick, flinching a bit at the sudden contact.

“Lube”, Bucky gasps between kisses.

“Where is it?” Steve asks before he attacks Bucky’s neck with his mouth while he tries to get rid of his jacket, after that, he plants his hands on the door behind Bucky, holding his body weight with his arms.

“In my jacket, the little pocket in the front”, the brunet answers.

Steve smirks and then laughs looking back at Bucky with his face flushed bright red, he bites his lower lip as he reaches the front pocket of Bucky’s jacket and pulls the little bottle of lube, he holds it up to Bucky’s mouth who bites the tip as he turns the tube.

“Why do you have… oh, shit”, he hisses when Bucky starts stroking faster.

“Focus, Rogers!” Bucky demands.

“Okay, okay”, Steve chuckles nodding.

His boyfriend pours some of the liquid on his right hand in front of Bucky, and warms it up between his fingertips. He places his left arm around Bucky’s waist to pull him closer as he reaches down the brunet’s ass with his other hand. Steve scoopes under him to prep him up, two slick fingers circling around his opening and Bucky gasps in return while he continues to stroke their dicks steadily.

For a couple of minutes, Steve kisses him, from his mouth, to ears down his neck and then back up, his fingers stimulating Bucky’s entrance, not even pushing inside, just circling them around his opening. Bucky tries to concentrate in stroking their dicks, moving his hips back and forth to get more of his boyfriend’s touch. They moan and gasp into each other’s mouth, and Bucky’s knees go weak every time Steve takes over the kiss possessively.

“That’s it, almost there”, Bucky grunts licking his lips. He pushes his hips downwards fucking himself with his boyfriend’s fingers now, guiding Steve deeper into him, the blond circles his wrist a bit so he can reach deeper, which is exactly what Bucky wants. _I need this now_. He frowns his eyebrows when he feels a third finger pushing inside of him, “I’m ready... please”, Bucky gasps.

“Are you sure?” Steve wonders, his voice soft and quiet against Bucky’s lips, almost like a whisper.

“Yes, yes”, he nods quickly, “c’mon, hurry”, he demands.

Steve lifts Bucky’s legs as if he didn’t weight a bit, placing them around his waist for Bucky to hold on to, the brunet reaches down and guides Steve’s hard dick into his hole, barely brushing against him.

“Relax, okay?” Steve whispers against his lips.

“Yeah, c’mon, Stevie”, Bucky encourages with a moan when Steve pushes the swollen tip into him slowly, stretching him around his shaft.

“Okay, hold on”, Steve says and Bucky puts his arms on Steve’s shoulders for support as his boyfriend pushes all of himself inside slowly, Bucky’s entrance welcoming him, taking inch by inch. Bucky moves his hips a bit while Steve holds him close.

“Fuck me, Steve”, Bucky pleads, and Steve starts moving in and out of him picking up a steadier pace. Bucky can feel him hitting his sweet spot when he pushes deep inside of him and he starts moaning loudly, his back banging on the door as they move.

Steve is grunting and licking Bucky’s neck as he slams his hips against Bucky’s ass, the sound of their skin slapping so vulgar, “Fuck, baby, you’re gorgeous”, Steve whispers.

“You feel so good, Steve”, Bucky says between moans, “shit, that’s it, there, right there!” he yells and Steve kisses him deeply muffling down Bucky’s cries with his lips, “oh, this is… amazing”, Bucky gasps breathing into Steve’s mouth.

“Buck, we gotta move from the door”, Steve suggests but he doesn’t seem to want to stop or make an effort to move.

“Yeah, yeah”, he nods, “let’s go to the couch”, Bucky says, Steve lifts him up a bit more, making Bucky wince as the blond’s dick slides out of his stretched hole. When his boyfriend turns around, he almost stumbles down the floor, he manages to slowly lower himself on his knees placing Bucky carefully down on the floor.

“Fuck”, he hisses, “guess that wasn’t such a good idea”, the man chuckles.

Bucky notices that Steve still has his shirt on and his jeans are half way down his legs, “just do me here!” Bucky whines in desperation, lifting his hips towards Steve, his legs wide open and folded at the knees.

Steve closes his fist around his shaft and guides it back to Bucky’s clasped entrance, “baby, you’re so tight”, his boyfriend hisses, thrusting into him deeper.

“You fill me up so good, Stevie, please, faster”, Bucky moans, Steve complies and jerks his hips quickly into him, his cock going in and out of Bucky with determination and the brunet keeps moaning in return.

***

Steve keeps fucking his way inside his boyfriend with a fast pace like Bucky requested, and Steve is losing his mind quick, the brunet stretches around him and the skin to skin contact is more than Steve can bare. Last week Bucky had make Steve feel so good, touching him softly and passionately and he ended up coming inside of him, filling Steve with his seed and that was Steve’s new favorite thing, but now it seems like it’s his turn. He feels his chest tight and his body heavy over his boyfriend’s while he keeps thrusting inside, his thighs hitting Bucky’s buttock’s against the floor.

“Aaah, Bucky, I’m gonna…” Steve knits his eyebrows together and closes his eyes tightly as the jolt of electricity runs through his body, from his head straight to his cock, Bucky reaches up to him and pulls him down to kiss him, his lips open as he shoves his tongue inside, his piercing against Steve’s mouth while he licks the roof of his mouth, “come”, Steve whispers between kisses before his whole body starts trembling, a silent moan coming from his mouth breathing into Bucky’s mouth. Steve tries to keep his body weight over his elbows that are planted on Bucky’s sides while he continues to fill Bucky’s ass with his semen, the brunet’s hole clenching around him while he rubs Steve’s back soothingly, the fabric of his shirt damp with their sweat.

He takes a couple of deep breaths before he opens his eyes, blinking away the white spots on his vision, he looks down to notice that Bucky is still achingly hard and unattended, Steve has come by himself and Bucky just looks downright pornographic. Steve leans backwards a bit and grunts as he pulls out of Bucky, the brunet gulps loudly under him.

The blond runs his hands down over Bucky’s chest and when he reaches the hem of his shirt, he pushes the piece of clothing all the way up to Bucky’s chin, “I’ve never”, Steve whispers as he lowers himself, he starts kissing Bucky’s chest on his way down, putting extra attention to his nipples, “come”, he says before he sucks one pink nipple inside his mouth, tasting the metal of the piercing on his tongue, “so fast”, he blows his hot breath against the swollen nipple when he lets it go and Bucky shivers under him, “before”, he hums warmly sucking the other nipple in his mouth, “like, ever”, he smiles against Bucky’s skin.

“You’re welcome”, Bucky chuckles.

He continues his way down, dragging his tongue slowly over Bucky’s stomach, he leans forward and licks his lips when he sees Bucky’s erect cock leaking pre-come into his lower abdomen, Steve grabs his shaft with his hand and begins to pull it slowly, he leans forward again and alternates from kissing him and circling his tongue around his boyfriend’s navel and just as Bucky starts to moan a bit louder, he moves back down and lifts Bucky’s knees over his shoulders, he rests himself with his stomach down on the floor.

Bucky’s skin is glowing and glistering from his own sweat, his body spread in display in front of Steve, the blond starts flicking his tongue at the swollen tip of his boyfriend’s cock, Bucky whines every time that Steve teases him with his fingers, moving them around his opening, to his perineum and over his testicles. But then, Steve takes Bucky’s length completely into his mouth, deep inside until it reaches the back of his throat, moving his tongue from side to side under his hard cock, he passes his right hand under Bucky to explore inside of him, carefully circling his fingertips around his opening and pushes inside, stretching him with two fingers until he finds his prostrate.

“Steve!” Bucky shouts.

He hums sweetly on the back of his throat, he bobs his head up and down, pursing his lips around his boyfriend’s cock while he pushes his fingers deeper inside of Bucky, twisting his wrist to reach the right angle. Bucky jerks his hips at the sensation but Steve pins him down with his free hand, the brunet reaches down to Steve’s hair, caressing and pulling occasionally.

“Oh, Stevie!” Bucky moans and trembles; he has his head tossed backwards and his back arched against the floor.

 _He looks so fucking hot_.

And Steve feels as the blood rushes back to his own dick. He lowers the angle of his face and slides his tongue between his fingers, he can taste his own semen in his tongue but he tries not to think about it, not like it matters anyway, he pulls his fingers out and starts fucking his boyfriend with his tongue and begins stroking Bucky’s dick fast.

“Steve, I’m so close, holy shit!” Bucky screams shivering, pulling at Steve’s hair.

The blond lifts his head up to suck at the tip of Bucky’s penis, he puts his fingers back inside of him, pushing as far as he can go while he licks a long strip with the flat of his tongue on Bucky’s dick. He gets closer to the edge of his boyfriend’s shaft but just as he’s leaning in to place his lips around the red tip, Bucky comes in long strips over his face. Steve keeps stroking Bucky’s dick fast with one hand as he covers him with his seed, his other hand working inside his stretched hole.

Bucky is shuddering under him, arching his back against the wooden floor, holding on to Steve’s hair as he finishes shouting through his orgasm, he slowly lets his limbs fall down tiredly but he lifts his head to look at Steve.

“OH MY GOD!” he pants deeply, “I’m so sorry!” He says biting his lower lip, not really looking sorry, a teasing grin on his face.

“I’m not”, Steve winks at him with a huge smile of his own.

Steve sits back on his knees, lifting off his shirt with his arms crossed at the front pulling at the hem, he looks down and notices that his dick is fully erect again, standing proudly against his belly. He stands up and takes off his jeans, untangling it from his ankles; he’s about to walk further into the living room when Bucky holds his legs between his.

“C’mon, Rogers, sit back down”, Bucky demands, Steve looks at him with a puzzled expression but does as his boyfriend says, as soon as he’s back on the floor, his ass flat over the surface, Bucky lifts himself and crawls on top of him. “I’m still kinda sensitive but wait for me a second”, Bucky hums taking his shirt off while he straddles Steve’s hips, when the piece of clothing is finally tossed across from them, Bucky places his hands on each side of Steve’s neck and starts kissing him deeply.

“I guess we’re not done yet”, Steve chuckles between kisses.

“We’re barely starting”, Bucky rubs his chest against Steve’s, “you can’t keep up, big guy?” he whispers against Steve’s ear.

“Oh, I can, I was just making sure, baby”, Steve giggles. He places his hands on Bucky’s lower back and moves them up slowly, applying a small amount of pressure with his fingertips, he stops when he reaches the brunet’s shoulder and starts ripping the Velcro from Bucky’s brace, “can I take it off?” He asks.

He knows that Bucky’s shoulder aches with the cold weather but it’s warm inside the apartment and he’s sure that Bucky will be more comfortable having sex without it on, but he wants to ask anyway.

“Yes, please”, Bucky replies pulling his arm to the side.

As the brace comes off, Steve kisses his neck sweetly, licking and then biting slightly, putting his lips over the scar tissue and that beautiful spot he loves so much where the coloring of his tattoo ends and his skin starts. Steve keeps his hand on his boyfriend’s lower back, Bucky pants but he draws Steve closer, he lifts Steve’s face and kisses him passionately, running his tongue over Steve’s lip playfully. Steve can feel Bucky’s building erection growing between them; he smiles into the kiss and gives a little squeeze at Bucky’s left nipple.

***

Bucky gasps and chuckles a bit, “hey” he whispers, making a bite attempt at Steve’s mouth and then nipping at his lower lip, “you still got jizz all over your face”, he says licking Steve’s cheek, slightly moving to his right ear and kissing it tenderly as he tastes himself on his tongue, Steve shudders and moans silently and the brunet chuckles, pleased with himself.

Steve looks right into Bucky’s eyes, the brunet really wants to say what he’s thinking. _I love you, I love you, I love you_. Bucky knows it’s not the right time so he has to swallow back the words as he usually does, Steve looks like he wants to say something too, the brunet can see the unspoken words on Steve’s glowing eyes, and in a way, Bucky hopes that it’s the same thing he’s thinking.

Bucky licks his lips and reaches up to kiss Steve deeply; he lowers his hand between them and strokes their cocks together for a few seconds, their body fluids mixing together. He lifts himself up, and positions himself to guide Steve’s dick back to his opening.

“Wait... lube”, Steve interjects squeezing Bucky’s waist.

“I’m okay”, Bucky assures with a nod and a sly smile, sliding Steve’s dick in with no struggle at all, pushing himself down slowly, he winces a bit as his boyfriend’s cock enters, stretching him whole again, the feeling is overwhelming, it makes the pit of his stomach hot and his knees weak.

Bucky is sitting on Steve’s dick, he’s still a bit over sensitized but his cock is fully erect once more, already leaking pre-come, letting him know that he’s ready to finish again, he figures if he takes it slow there won’t be that much of a problem.

He starts moving up and down against his boyfriend’s chest, Steve’s hands holding him in place while his dick stretches Bucky’s asshole even more, but as soon as Steve’s dick hits his sweet spot, his toes curl up, and he realizes he isn’t over sensitized, he needs to come again, _right the fuck now_. The brunet places his hands on Steve’s shoulders and pushes him back against the floor, his boyfriend laughs and lets himself be handled, he starts moving his hips front and back over Steve, the blond moves against him as well, trying to sit back up to kiss him.

“No, wait!” Bucky shakes his head between giggles, “ I want to look at you”, he says.

“The floor is cold!” Steve laughs some more.

“You’ll warm it up”, Bucky insists pushing him back down.

Steve hisses a bit but complies as Bucky moves his ass up and down, Bucky places one hand on the center of his boyfriend’s chest, right under his the tattoo piece, he tilts his head up a bit and rocks his hips back and forth, Steve’s dick going in and out of him smoothly.

“You’ve been taking dancing lessons, baby?” Steve asks with a chuckle when he sees Bucky moving over him.

“You know these skills are natural”, Bucky says winking.

Bucky grabs on to Steve’s belly and moves his hips over him, his knees planted on the floor and his head tossed backwards, his mouth open wide while the moans escape his throat. Steve reaches down to grab Bucky’s dick, stroking it lazily with his fingers curled around it, but still filling up Bucky with pleasure. He feels like he’s coming undone quickly, his whole body is buzzing and flushed, droplets of sweat falling down his temples and his back.

Steve looks fantastic, sweaty and blushed from his chest up to his face, his pupils are blown out and wild, strands of hair sticking to his forehead as he grunts and gasps under Bucky.

“Buck, baby, I’m about to…” he moans.

“Wait, I’m there, almost there... fuck!” Bucky yells when he feels his orgasm building.

***

Steve tightens his grip around Bucky’s cock, stroking him faster while he pushes impossibly deeper inside his boyfriend and as he does, Bucky’s tight ring of muscle clasps around him and his cock twitches on Steve’s hand as he comes all over Steve’s chest, shooting his white seed all the way up to Steve’s chin. Steve leans forward and places his free hand over Bucky’s nape to bring him down over him, the brunet moans inside Steve’s mouth, and in to time, Steve is coming too, filling Bucky’s ass one more time while they breathe into each other’s mouths panting and gasping loudly.

The blond kisses Bucky languidly when they both come down from the high of each other, their chest growing in and out fast seeking for air. Bucky grimaces as he turns around to lie down next to him, sweat dripping from his chest and temples, Steve turns to the side to stare at him under lazy eyelids.

He can’t help but keep touching his boyfriend; he leans to the side to reach him and pushes Bucky’s hair back and kisses him again sweetly, Bucky grasps Steve’s neck and pulls him closer, their bodies sweaty and sticky, but right now, there’s no room to worry about that. Bucky turns so he’s lying on his side facing Steve and places his arm across Steve’s waist haphazardly, the blond caresses Bucky’s lower back and his boyfriend shivers against him.

“Goosebumps”, he whispers into Steve’s mouth as they kiss again.

Steve feels more gleeful than ever, he’s basking in the afterglow of a couple of great orgasms sure, but he’s positive he could stay in this moment forever next to Bucky on the floor. Steve kisses Bucky’s neck and as he starts to move his hand down to Bucky’s ass, the brunet chuckles.

“Wait”, Bucky says gulping, “I need some water, you want some?” Bucky asks not really making an effort to move away.

“Yes, please”, Steve murmurs shyly, letting go of Bucky.

With that, Bucky stands up and walks to the kitchen slowly, Steve sighs and sits down slowly, trying to prevent his head from spinning. He doesn’t even want to look at their mess on the floor, but he searches around for his pants to put on his boxers, he finds them not that far away from him and walks over to the kitchen after he puts them on.

Steve finds the kitchen empty when he walks inside but Bucky is moving towards him in no time, “hey, you should have waited for me there”, he hears him yell behind him.

“Oh, I just wanted to help”, Steve says turning around.

Bucky smiles and walks pass him, “had to clean up”, he winks back at him, “although, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to get dirty again”, Bucky adds as he pours water in a couple of glasses, “you should tidy up a bit too, Stevie”, he chuckles looking down at Steve’s abdomen that is smeared with Bucky’s cum.

Steve reaches down and cleans some of it with his thumb; he moves his hand up and licks it slowly with the flat of his tongue looking at Bucky straight in the eyes teasingly, “yeah, I guess you’re right”, he shrugs a shoulder before he walks away.

“Fuck!” he hears Bucky spitting water all over the floor after he starts coughing and Steve giggles at his little act.

***

“Staying hydrated is important”, Steve says between smirks as he takes his glass of water from Bucky’s hands after he returns from the bathroom.

Bucky drinks from his own glass and stares at him. He wants to say a lot of things right now, things like you’re perfect, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life like this but it isn’t the right time yet, he’s not even sure why anymore, Steve might think his words are not sincere since they just had sex, _I’ll find the right time, eventually_. He finishes his glass of water along with his words with one more gulp and leaves the glass over the counter.

“So…” Bucky hums, “want to chill for a bit?” he asks and Steve nods.

His boyfriend follows him back into the living room; Bucky turns on the TV and starts channel surfing when Steve sits next to him. His boyfriend leans in and kisses his earlobe tenderly, he travels lower and bites his neck, and as he sucks at the soft skin, Bucky hisses and leaves the remote on the coffee table to look at Steve, he licks his lips and stares from Steve’s focused eyes to his mouth and leans in to kiss him hungrily. Bucky loves Steve like this, like he can’t have enough of Bucky, and he makes him feel so good too.

Steve’s mouth is cool from the cold water and it feels good against his tongue, the blond is pushing him down into the sofa, climbing up over him. Bucky opens his legs to let him rest between them and his hands are slowly kneading at Steve’s scalp, his boyfriend’s hands move down to Bucky’s chest teasing his nipples, and the brunet moans in return. He can’t believe he’s getting so worked up again and so fast, but he isn’t so embarrassed when he takes a peek over Steve’s crotch and notices that his boyfriend is responding the same way, he’s already hard, his dick stretching the fabric of his underwear.

Their kisses are sweet and lazy, but everything is heating up again with their bodies tangled closer, Bucky rubbing his feet up and down Steve’s calves and the blond rubbing his body against him. Steve hooks two fingers onto the elastic band of Bucky’s boxers and pulls them down to let Bucky’s hardening cock out. As soon as he does the same to his boxers and frees his beautiful penis, he grips both of their shafts together and strokes steadily.

Bucky squirms and gasps, “Steve”, he whispers looking at his face with frowned eyebrows. Steve looks disheveled with his hair sticking in every direction, his lips red and moist and his face flushed, his eyebrows knit together and his mouth slightly open. Bucky caresses his brow with his thumb while Steve strokes faster, his other hand placed on the back of Steve’s neck, “oh, sweetie, this feels so good”, Bucky moans looking straight at Steve’s eyes, not letting go of his head.

Steve moves his hand up and down faster biting his lower lip and a concentrated look on his face, Bucky’s mouth hangs open and moans loudly, “baby, you’re gorgeous”, Steve leans forward and kisses Bucky’s cheek.

He starts yelling loudly when he feels the pleasure surging from between them, his boyfriend’s cock slick and wet against his as Steve’s hand continues to pull them, twisting his wrist when he reaches the tip, passing his thumb in circles over the slit while he supports his weight with his other hand, trying not to crash Bucky, “Stevie, Steve, don’t…”, he shakes his head, “don’t stop, I’m so close”, Bucky moans between them and Steve reaches forward to kiss him once more, their mouths open and their tongues swirling against each other’s.

“Come with me, baby”, Steve grunts.

Bucky grips Steve’s scalp hard, yanking him back a bit, feeling the air being pulled out of him with his orgasm, Steve bites down on his lip and Bucky senses as his boyfriend stiffens on top of him at the same time, the couple finishing together, their bodies shivering and lungs gasping for air. They both lay there for a few minutes, panting, their nerves electric and skin clammy with their sweats mixed together.

Bucky licks his lips and smiles up at Steve, “ready for round four?” he smirks lazily.

“Ready as I’ll ever be”, Steve chuckles leaning in to kiss Bucky.

“To the bedroom!” the brunet announces cheerfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo, so, sorry for the delay of this chapter. I had to deal with life and school, and then I was out of town for a while, but I'm trying to pick my routine back up.
> 
> I hope you're still with me, thank you for your comments, kuddos and everything, they mean a lot to me <3
> 
> I'll try to be around more often, this chapter was on the longer side (I think?), and the next few chapters are quite long too, so I hope you enjoy that. I was planning on splitting this one into two since a lot of you asked for angst, but I'm not that mean (or am I?) so I decided to keep it as one.
> 
> Let me know if you liked it :D
> 
> As always, take care, stay safe!
> 
> xxoo


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy! c:

Bucky feels a sudden shift on the right side of the bed, he grunts softly when the cold air clashes against his body, he turns around to notice that his boyfriend is fixing the covers over him, like he had just come back to bed, he closes his eyes again and hums as Steve scoots closer and he passes his fingers through Bucky’s hair, combing it away from his face.

“Where were you?” Bucky wonders with his eyes still shut and his tongue heavy inside his mouth, he moves his body forward and places his hand on Steve’s waist to hug him.

“I was cleaning”, Steve answers, “did you sleep well?” he questions.

“Cleaning?” Bucky opens his eyes slowly.

“I know Nat wakes up early and I didn’t want her to arrive and see our mess, or did you forget about last night?” Steve smirks looking brighter than the _fucking_ sun and Bucky chuckles awkwardly.

_Fuck, who looks that good in the morning?_

_But yeah, how could I forget about last night?_

His boyfriend’s sweaty body against Bucky’s, shaky limbs, their breaths hot and their mouths panting for air, blurry vision, lazy eyelids and pupils blown wide. Wet kisses, messy kisses, sweet kisses, and caring kisses, just kisses.

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice interrupts Bucky’s lustful thoughts.

“Yeah”, he smiles wide, “last night”, he giggles.

The brunet turns his body a bit and Steve does the same until he’s lying on his back, Bucky places the right side of his face on Steve’s broad chest and stretches his arm across his stomach, the blond puts his left arm around Bucky to bring him closer.

A few minutes later after the heated and crazy sex they had in the living room the previous night, they ended up on Bucky’s bed with their legs entangled and their mouths kissing everything they could reach, but that didn’t seemed enough that they ended up having a few more orgasms each. Bucky is sure he hasn’t had so many in one night, _like ever_ , they got to the point where he passed out and didn’t even noticed when he got inside the covers, but apparently he did.

Right now, he’s still naked but his boyfriend isn’t anymore since he already got up, besides, Bucky has come to notice that Steve doesn’t like to sleep naked, which is fine, he can still get away with putting his cold bony fingers under his shirt and Steve won’t complain. He hums happily against Steve’s body, nuzzling over the soft fabric of his shirt and his arm tight around his waist, all the sudden Bucky’s stomach starts to growl violently at him and he grunts in return.

“Someone’s hungry”, Steve chuckles.

“Yesssssss”, he says dragging the ‘s’, “but I don’t wanna get up”, he pouts.

“I’m not in a hurry”, Steve smiles at him, rubbing Bucky’s back with his palm.

“Yayyy!” Bucky cheers.

“Actually, I was thinking about going to the mall, wanna come with me?” the blond wonders.

“Sure”, Bucky nods, “what are you looking for?” he questions.

“I haven’t bought anything for your family, I can’t just go to their house empty handed”, Steve sighs.

“Steeeeeeve”, Bucky singsongs.

“Please, Buck”, Steve says, “let me do this”, he pleads.

“I’ll make you a deal”, Bucky offers, “we buy them gifts together, it’s easier”, he shrugs a shoulder casually.

“You haven’t bought anything?” Steve chuckles.

“My parents are always telling me not to get them anything, but if I see something I like for them I buy it, that’s why I don’t have to hurry”, he explains.

“Good, because I have no idea what to choose”, Steve says.

***

After they decided that they’re going to the mall later on that day, they fall into comfortable silence for a couple minutes, laying in bed close to each other, Steve has his arm tight around Bucky, he’s just looking up at the ceiling while his boyfriend traces invisible patterns over his chest with his fingertips.

“Steve?” Bucky whispers.

“Mmmm?” he hums.

“Did you really listen to everything I said last night?” he wonders, “to Brock, I mean”, he added.

“Yeah, I’m sorry”, he nods looking down at Bucky.

“It’s okay”, he sighs, “did you really mean what you said?” he asks and Steve frowns his eyebrows in question, he doesn’t remembered saying much after they started making out in that dark room and then the ride there and well...

Steve does a recap from what happened last night and tries not to think about his boyfriend whispering to Brock’s ear and the older man’s hands on Bucky’s ass. The brunet shifts a bit so he’s lying on his stomach but still facing him, Steve’s arm under him and Bucky’s hands on his chest, “that I’m proud of you?” he questions.

“Umm, yeah…” Bucky nods slowly, his teeth fidgeting with his lip piercing, “I thought you were mad at first”, he says.

“I wasn’t mad”, he shakes his head, “maybe a little sad until I realized what was actually happening”, Steve sighs, “it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself like you did, specially against someone that you cared about once but also hurt you so much, it’s not easy”, he says, “so yes, I’m proud of you, I’ve told you before and I’ll keep saying it”, he smiles kindly and Bucky smirks back, his lower lip trapped between his teeth, his cheeks rosy and the corners of his eyes wrinkled.

Bucky tilts his head forward and put his lips over Steve’s, the brunet’s lips are a bit dry on his but it’s not like he’s complaining, he places his hand on the side of Bucky’s face and rubs his thumb against his cheek, right under his micro-dermals as he parts his mouth slowly to give his boyfriend more space. Steve whimpers a bit on the back of his throat when Bucky sucks his lower lip into his mouth, running his wet tongue over it and their teeth clacking together.

He lowers his hands to Bucky’s waist to pull him over him, his boyfriend entangles his legs with his, Bucky is still naked and his crotch is right above Steve’s, he just has to move his hips a bit to rub himself against him. Bucky’s hairs are falling down into Steve’s face, he giggles a few times until he brushes those rebel strands away with his fingers.

Steve has one hand down on Bucky’s lower back and the other over his nape as they turn their heads while their lips suck and their mouths lick down their necks, their touches start to grow hotter and their kisses deeper. He feels his skin on fire and his respiration fast, his heart throbbing quick inside his chest as he starts to pant for air.

“Bucky, wait”, he whispers.

The brunet stops right away and leans back a bit, he opens his eyes wide his chest also growing in and out like Steve’s, “what is it?” he worries.

“I’m okay, I just need some air”, Steve says.

“Are you sure?” Bucky questions and Steve nods, “here, lemme just…” he tries to move away but Steve places his hands on his hips and turns them around, his boyfriend immediately opens his legs to let him take his place. He puts his hands on Bucky’s chest while the brunet puts his around Steve’s neck, his feet planted on the mattress on each side of the blond’s body and the covers over them, “better?” Bucky asks.

“Better”, Steve sighs happily.

“I can’t believe you’re spending Christmas with us”, Bucky scratches the back of Steve’s head, carding his fingers at the golden hair.

“I can’t believe you invited me”, Steve smirks.

“Steve, I…” Bucky says looking right into Steve’s eyes, Bucky’s are open wide and they look brighter than ever, the metal of his piercing contrasting with his skin, “I, um… thank you”, he mumbles.

“For what?” he frowns his eyebrows.

“For being you”, Bucky offers a small smile.

“Again, I don’t know how to be anybody else, so you’re welcome, I guess”, Steve chuckles awkwardly.

***

_Coward, fucking coward. Just tell him already!_

Bucky sighs lamely and puts on his best smirk, “I’m glad”, he said.

“So, I’ve been talking to Morita about the Expo next year, I insisted to pay for your plane ticket since he knows you’re going but he assured he had it covered”, Steve comments.

“Really?” Bucky wonders.

“Yeah, something about making his guests happy”, Steve giggles.

“That’s nice of him”, Bucky hums, “I’m excited about it”, he smiles.

“Me too”, his boyfriend smiles wide before he leans forward and places his lips on Bucky’s, three small pecks before Bucky opens his mouth and Steve pulls the brunet’s piercing between his teeth playfully and Bucky winces in return.

Steve runs his hands up and down the sides of Bucky’s bare torso, his fingers tracing the bones of his ribcage, then his hands stop by his nipples and he circles his thumbs around them, his fingertips warm making Bucky shiver under his touch. Bucky tries not to move his lower body, although he’s in desperate need of friction, he could move a bit and his cock would be rubbing against Steve’s, but he has other thing on the back of his mind.

_At least tell him about the tour._

“Steve”, Bucky moans, he tilts his head backwards further into the pillow, “hey”, he says.

“Yeah?” Steve says against the skin of his neck before he puts his warm and wet lips over his Adam’s apple.

He has to take a hold of himself to try to focus on what he wants to say but Steve is making it really difficult, Bucky feels his body melting and shivering as Steve touches and kisses him while he whimpers softly, Bucky just lays there comfortably under Steve’s ministrations.

“Sweetheart”, he whispers, “I… I have something”, he moans again, “I need to tell you something”, Bucky adds quickly placing his hands on Steve’s broad shoulders.

Steve clears his throat and Bucky tries to compose himself, his boyfriend moves back a bit to give Bucky some space but he stays right there between his legs, “what is it?” Steve asks.

“It’s nothing bad, I think”, Bucky looks to the sides to avoid Steve’s stare, “it’s just…” he sighs heavily.

“Hey, it’s okay”, Steve nods running his hand through Bucky’s hair.

“Umm… the girls from Heroes for Hire invited us to go on tour with them”, he lets out a long and shaky breath.

“That’s not bad… it’s great, Buck”, Steve smirks down at him.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know if I’m going”, he says sadly.

“Why? Is it because of the Expo?” the blond asks.

“Not really,” Bucky shakes his head.

“Then?” Steve frowns his eyebrows and looks down at him with confusion written all over his face, until he open his eyes wide like a lightning has struck him, “this… it isn’t because of me, is it?” he wonders. Bucky falls silent for a few seconds, he can feel Steve’s eyes on him, he tries to look away from Steve’s face while he chews on his lower lip nervously.

_Yes._

“Steve, I…” he whispers.

“Oh, c’mon”, Steve huffs, “you’re kidding, right?” he questions, his tone of voice a bit louder, Bucky doesn’t answer at all, the least he wants to do is make Steve feel upset about this, but he doesn’t know what to say, “right?” Steve asks desperately, and yet no answer from Bucky.

_Idiot._

It’s true, Bucky is naked under the covers and never felt uncomfortable around Steve until now, perhaps he shouldn’t have said anything, maybe it was easier if he just said no to Dum Dum right away and not mention it to Steve, but he’s sure that would’ve made things worst in the long run, he has never been a liar and he’s not about to start.

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice is agitated but he’s still on top of Bucky, he has a frown on his forehead and a confused look on his face and Bucky just wants it to go away, “the last thing I want is to be a burden, you should know that, I don’t mean to hold you down, okay? I’m sorry”, Steve says, his voice cracking at the last words as he tries to move, making Bucky feel cold and lonely.

Steve stands up before Bucky can do anything, the blond reaches for his tennis shoes and puts them on quickly, he goes to stand by the door and rests his hand on the handle, leaving it there for a couple of seconds. Bucky follows him with his eyes but doesn’t say a single word, he wants to say something, _anything_ , but nothing comes out, he’s not sure what he should say or do.

The other man looks over his shoulder, his boyfriend’s eyes are teary and sad and Bucky hates that look on Steve’s face, “I’ll bring your pants later”, Steve says. He’s crying, Bucky is sure Steve is crying, he wants to take back everything he said to change the blond’s mood, but it’s too late for that, he needs to fix this.

His boyfriend walks out of the room and closes the door behind him, that’s when Bucky reacts and stands up quickly, he’s completely naked so he frantically searches around the floor for a piece of clothing to cover his crotch, _at least_ , he finds some boxers and puts them on quickly, not bothering to see if they’re clean or not, and goes after Steve. Bucky can’t leave the situation like this, he wasn’t trying to upset the other man but he managed to do it, Steve’s health is a delicate issue and he’s aware of it, _I should’ve know better_.

***

“Steve!” he hears someone yelling when he reaches the first floor, “Stop, please”, the voice says.

The one calling after him is Bucky, his boyfriend, the man he loves so much. It breaks Steve’s heart, he knew this day will come, the day when Bucky finally realized Steve’s health is a burden, his issues are a burden, Steve’s a burden. To be honest, it was only a matter of time, Steve wasn’t expecting it to be this soon though. Bucky didn’t exactly say those words but he didn’t have to, Steve knows pity when he sees it.

He’s walking fast towards his bike, the day is cold, really, really cold and cloudy, luckily he managed to snatch his jacket on his way out. Steve is crying, salty tears falling down his cheeks and more gathering inside his throat, his head is staring to ache and his chest feels tight, he tries to calm himself before he reaches his motorcycle, the least he needs right now it’s an asthma attack, _how pathetic will that be?_

“Ste…Steve, please!” Bucky shouts, “I’m sorry”, he says behind him.

Steve turns around and kicks himself internally, his boyfriend is standing there by the door of the building wearing nothing but boxer briefs, his arms wrapped around his shivering body, all because of him. He knows he’s acting poorly, Steve shouldn’t walk away from his problems, he normally doesn’t, but he’s not sure if he can stand listening to Bucky saying how Steve’s health is becoming a problem.

“What are you doing? Go back inside, Buck”, he demands.

“N…no!” he shakes his head, his teeth clacking from the cold.

“You’re gonna get sick, baby”, Steve insists, “please”, he says. He starts to walk back towards the building when he recognizes the look on Bucky’s face, he’s out to get something and won’t take no for an answer.

“I d-don’t care”, Bucky continues to shiver, he puts a foot on the first step experimentally, and _Jesus fucking Christ_ , Bucky’s not even wearing shoes.

“Stop, stop, stop”, Steve shakes his head, he’s already taking off his jacket, he puts in around Bucky’s shoulder as soon as he’s in arms reach.

“I w-won’t go b-back unless you come w-with me”, Bucky says looking up at him under his dark and damp eyelashes, he won’t stop shaking and Steve feels guilty for it.

The blond embraces Bucky into a hug and his boyfriend nuzzles against him, Steve is cold but Bucky is freezing, “okay, okay, let’s go”, he says. He lowers his hands and cups Bucky’s ass to carry him up, the brunet wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and his legs on his waist and lets himself be handled.

Steve keeps Bucky close to his body and carries him all the way up to Bucky’s apartment, he manages to open the door without lowering his boyfriend since it wasn’t even locked, then shuts it behind them. He doesn’t put down Bucky until they’re back in his room, he places him on the bed a wraps all the blankets around them, he positions himself behind Bucky and hugs him tightly, the brunet’s back pressed against Steve’s chest, he doesn’t say anything until Bucky stops shivering. Steve pulls his boyfriend back and Bucky turns around positioning himself between Steve’s legs, the blond keeps rubbing Bucky’s back up and down softly.

“I will not forgive myself if you don’t go because of me”, Steve whispers finally, “I know is something you enjoy doing”, he says sadly.

“Steve, just listen to me”, Bucky pleads.

“Bucky, I’m not…” Steve starts but Bucky shushes him placing two fingers over his mouth.

“Let me explain”, his boyfriend says, “then you can tell me whatever you want”, he nods, “you can tell me to fuck off, I’ll understand”, Bucky chuckles bitterly.

“Don’t say that, I will never tell you to fuck off”, Steve whispers.

“Okay”, Bucky swallows, “I know you can take care of yourself, I know”, he assures, “but last time, when Nat told me what happened, you scare the shit out of me and I know that wasn’t your intention”, he sighs.

“I told you it was an accident, you don’t believe me?” Steve insists.

Bucky puts his hands on both sides of Steve’s face to look right into his eyes, there’s nothing but sincerity and worries, “I do believe you”, he nods quickly, “Stevie, I…” he sniffs, “I can’t lose you, I can’t, I don’t know what I’ll do”, Bucky’s words get caught up on his throat as a few tears start to fall down his temples, “you’re not a burden, I will never think of you like that, not now or ever, we could be 90 years old and in a wheel chair and still you wouldn’t be a burden, you hear me?” Bucky says.

“Yes”, Steve answers shyly, rubbing one thumb to dry off the brunet’s tears.

“Say it like you mean it”, Bucky demands.

“Baby, I…” Steve shakes his head.

“Please, I want to hear you say it”, Bucky cups Steve’s face on his hands.

Steve swallows loudly his own tears, it’s a lot to process in so little time, by no means he wanted to make his boyfriend feel bad about this situation, it was never his intention. Steve loves this man so much that sometimes he just can’t wrap his finger around the fact that Bucky truly worries about him and it’s not just out of pity like he often believes.

“I’m not a burden”, he says.

“That’s right”, Bucky pulls Steve’s face down and places his lips on the blond’s, a sweet close-mouthed kiss before he starts talking again, “the only reason I didn’t told you sooner about this is because I was thinking about it, I know distance can do things to relationships, the tour is not for long but I wanted to make sure it was okay”, Bucky explains.

“Of course it’s okay, if you want to go, then go”, Steve kisses Bucky’s forehead.

The brunet moves his hands up and Steve hooks his arms under Bucky’s armpits to embrace him into a hug and puts his legs around his waist, crossed at the ankles. He’s impossibly closer to him and the brunet puts the side of his face on the center of Steve’s chest. He kisses the top of Bucky’s head rubbing his back with his palms, going up and down slowly, the brunet’s body finally warm again.

They stay there for a couple of minutes until he turns to the side, they’re lying next to each other to give themselves some space, his boyfriend lifts his head right away to use Steve’s arm like a pillow, his left arm across from the blond’s chest.

“I’m sorry for walking away like that, I shouldn’t have”, he shakes his head.

“It’s rubbing on you”, Bucky giggles and Steve rolls his eyes, “I know this subject is not easy for you, I just want you to know I’m here whenever you wanna talk about it”, Bucky says.

“Yeah, it’s hard, but… I’ll try to do better”, Steve assures with a nod.

“I know you will, don’t worry”, he smiles, “as for tour, I do wanna go, I think it will be fun”, Bucky nuzzles against Steve’s chest, the blond is grateful that his boyfriend changed the subject.

“When is this tour?” Steve wonders.

“A few days after Valentine’s, for two weeks so I’ll be back in time for my birthday”, Bucky smirks.

Thinking about not seeing Bucky for two weeks makes Steve miss him already, but he’s sure his boyfriend will have a great time, and it’s going to be okay, this time is different, they’re in a committed relationship and Bucky has done everything in his power to make Steve feel like he matters, he wont feel so insecure like last time, “that’s perfect”, Steve smiles.

“Yeah, I’m glad I have that out of my head”, Bucky chuckles, “so, we’re okay, right?” he questions hopeful.

“Of course”, he nods, “you’re going on tour and we’re going to be okay, and I’ll be right here waiting for you”, Steve assures.

“You promise?” Bucky wonders.

“I promise”, Steve says.

His boyfriend lets out a long sigh before he tilts his head back to look up at Steve, their faces are a couple of inches apart and Steve can feel Bucky’s warm breath against his lips, the brunet moves his stare all around Steve’s face while he does the same.

“What did I do to deserve you?” the blond asks.

“You have no idea, Steve Rogers”, Bucky smiles, “I ask myself the same thing”, the brunet sighs.

***

“You know”, Natasha hums, “even though your boyfriend here did a pretty good job cleaning up this place”, she says nodding her head towards Steve were he’s standing against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed over his chest, “it still reeks like sex in here”, she lifts her eyebrow at him.

“Well, we did have a lot of that”, Bucky chuckles after he winks at his boyfriend, the blond’s cheeks turn a bit pink, he shakes his head rolling his eyes but he also giggles softly.

“I bet”, Natasha mutters between her teeth, “and why are you all dressed up?” she wonders.

“We’re going to the mall”, Bucky answers.

“Wanna join us?” Steve adds.

“As much as I know you guys are the most fun couple ever”, she says sarcastically, a tiny smirk on the corner of her lips, “today is my lazy day”, she shrugs a shoulder.

“You sure?” Steve questions.

“Yup”, she says plainly.

“I’ll be back later then”, Bucky leans to the side and kisses her temple, before he starts walking out of the kitchen with Steve in tow, “ if you want something just text me”, he says.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” she yells behind them.

“That leaves room for a lot of things”, Bucky shouts over his shoulder.

“Exactly!” Bucky hears Natasha giggling inside the kitchen right before he closes the door.

They walk downstairs side by side until they reach the lobby, Steve opens the door for him as the gentleman he is and Bucky winks at him when he walks pass him. The couple decide to ride Steve’s motorcycle instead of the public transportation like last time, the day is colder than before and they don’t want to have to wait too long for the bus since it’s Saturday. The blond sends a quick message to see if Miles is available to go check up on Captain, which the kid responds with a “sure, no probs :p”, Steve smiles warmly at the teenager’s answer.

His boyfriend lets him ride his motorcycle again and it feels unbelievable, Bucky can’t get enough of it and Steve seems to enjoy it too, his arms tight around the brunet’s waist and his chest pressed against his back making him feel warm and safe. They arrive in no time and Bucky finds a parking spot close to the main entrance, they take off the helmets before they move towards the building, Bucky ruffles his hair on his way there before he puts on a black beanie over his head. The place is lit up by the Holidays decorations, lights, ornaments and all the Christmas spirit around them.

Bucky walks through the hall with no specific direction, just looking at the stores and browsing around hoping he might get an idea on what to buy for his parents, Steve is behind him also wondering while he hums happily the Christmas carols playing on the background.

On their way out of another store and still empty handed, Bucky has an idea, _finally_ , he grabs Steve’s arm and pulls him towards the back of the mall, the blond chuckles but follows him right away.

“Where are we going?” Steve questions.

“You’ll see”, Bucky smirks, “I know what to get for my mom”, he announces.

“I was beginning to worry”, the blond giggles.

“My dad is cool with whatever, although I must confess that I don’t know what to get for my sister”, Bucky shakes his head.

“Hhmm”, Steve hums, “I might have an idea for that”, Steve smiles.

“Yeah? And what is that?” Bucky lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Well, I could…” Steve starts but someone behind them interrupts.

“Hey, lovebirds!” somebody yells with a mocking tone.

Steve turns around first, Bucky isn’t sure if it’s someone trying to make fun of them or if it’s a friend of theirs, he really hopes it isn’t a person looking for trouble, he doesn’t want to get into fight in the middle of the mall surrounded by people, or try to hold Steve for that matter.

“Oh, hi”, Steve says.

Bucky lets out a small sigh after that, it’s Wade followed by Peter a few steps behind, the man launches himself at them, embracing them into a hug at the same time, both of his arms spread to the sides.

“I’m sorry, I was trying to convince him not to yell”, Peter offers an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, don’t worry”, Steve waves a hand at them.

“I could have jumped you, you know”, Bucky crosses his arms over his chest.

“By all means”, Peter says and Steve giggles.

“Jeez, easy there, tiger!” Wade puts up his hands up defensively.

“How’ve you been?” Steve asks them.

“I’m okay, I’m here looking for a gift for Gwen”, Peter comments and Steve smiles nodding his head, “so late, I’m such a bad boyfriend, I know”, he chuckles awkwardly.

“Don’t say that, you’re so fucking cute, honey”, Wade says mockingly, “I’m searching a gift for this guy”, he points at Peter with his thumb, “don’t tell him”, he winks. Peter rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything, he’s probably far used to Wade making comments like that, Bucky chuckles and Steve smirks at them.

***

“Hey, Steve”, Peter says shyly, “do you think, um, I wanted to…” he mumbles, “I want to get another tattoo, I was hoping you could do it”, he offers a small smile, “if you’re okay with it, of course”, he added quickly.

“Sure”, Steve nods, “give Darcy a call to check on the available dates, but yeah, definitely”, he smiles.

“Thank you so much, we’ll let you continue on with your day”, Peter offers his hand for Steve to shake.

“This could be a double date!” Wade says cheerfully.

“I don’t think so, let’s go”, Peter huffs.

As soon as they say their goodbyes, they start walking again and Bucky leans to the side and plants a small and quick kiss on Steve’s cheek, the blond moves his hand up and places two fingers on the same spot his boyfriend pecked and smiles, his piercing felt cold against Steve’s skin.

“What was that for?” Steve questions looking at him.

“Just because”, he shrugs a shoulder casually.

Steve sighs softly and leans to the side to do the same that Bucky just did, Bucky’s cheeks turn a tiny hint of pink and his smile grows wider, probably matching Steve’s. For him, it’s hard to believe sometimes this is his life now, that he does this because he can, because Bucky wants him to, just because, like Bucky said.

_I love you._

“So, I was thinking about buying my mom a necklace or something like that”, Bucky comments.

“Jewelry?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, she likes those tiny gold pieces”, he says.

“Sounds good”, Steve smiles.

They walk into the jewelry store and browse around for a few minutes, Steve is expecting to receive weird stares or maybe some comments but all of the people in the store are really kind and if they have something to say, they keep it to themselves. Luckily, they find what they’re looking for when they reach the smaller necklaces; there are a lot of different options that it’s really hard to decide, tons of pieces, shiny and bold, for stacking and layering, tiny arrangements for decorations and so many other things.

Bucky chooses the tiniest gold necklace and Steve suggests they buy a pendant to go with it; they select Winnie’s birthstone since Bucky said she already has another necklace with her name on it. The piece is delicate and dainty and Steve is sure it’s going to look great on Bucky’s mother, the brunet seems excited about the whole thing and he puts his credit card on the counter right away without bothering to look at the final price.

“I’m paying half of it, let them charge it on mine”, Steve says reaching for his wallet inside the back pocket of his jeans.

“Noup”, Bucky shakes his head.

“C’mon, Buck, we talked about this”, he insists while the man behind the counter wraps the piece of jewelry.

“I know, what do you say if you pay for my dad’s?” Bucky questions.

“Okay”, he nods, “hey, now that we’re here, why don’t we pick something for your aunt?” Steve suggests.

“You know what? You’re awfully smart”, Bucky winks before he leans forward to look around for something else on the lighted counter in front of him.

“Who else is gonna be there?” Steve wonders.

“Where?” Bucky frowns his eyebrows looking back at him over his shoulder.

“Your family, on Christmas day”, he says.

“Oh, it’s just us, Ida and Connie”, Bucky informs, “my aunts are going to be spending the day with their husband’s family respectively”, his boyfriend comments.

“Okay, I just don’t want to show up with presents for only a few people”, Steve sighs.

“Don’t worry so much, Stevie”, Bucky pats his shoulder as he passes next to him.

***

“Earrings, perfect!” Bucky cheers when they finally pick something for his aunt, they’re small rose gold starts and they _scream_ Ida all over.

Bucky signs the papers for the guarantee, the receipts and all without looking at the amount of money he had spent, he will probably have to steal Natasha’s food for a month, or perhaps he just will steal Steve’s. His boyfriend is carrying the shopping bags as usual, Bucky has also bought a pair of new jeans because apparently, his jeans won’t cooperate and they always get ripped every time he plays with the Howling Commandos or sometimes get caught on the chain of his bike which is annoying and dangerous all together.

It’s around three o’clock already and Bucky is feeling hungry, they decide to walk over to Panera Bread and eat there again, just like last time. It feels like forever ago since they were here, before Thanksgiving, before tour, before everything, they were barely dating and Bucky doesn’t want to go back to that, _ever_. The couple eat chatting about their day and the things they want to buy next, it’s crazy how they’re doing a lot of things together, _grown up things_ , and they make Bucky think about days to come and what he wants in the future, perhaps it’s not crazy, maybe it’s just different and weird, _but good weird_.

“So, for your sister”, Steve hums before he takes a sip on his iced tea, “I was thinking we could give her a tattoo”, he shrugs a shoulder.

“A tattoo?” Bucky frowns his eyebrows looking down at his plate of pasta.

“Yeah, mid-size, like a three to four hour session, we could write her a voucher for it”, Steve explains, “it doesn’t even have to be mine, it could be Thor’s or Loki’s, that way she has more options to choose from”, he says.

“Why didn’t I think about that?” Bucky shakes his head, “of course she’s gonna want one from you, she already mention something”, Bucky chuckles.

“I remember”, Steve nods, “is that a yes?” he asks.

“You will do that for her? For me, I mean?” Bucky wonders.

“Of course”, Steve smiles kindly, he stretches his hand over the table and grabs Bucky’s, he lifts it and brings it up to his lips and places a soft kiss on his knuckles and the brunet sighs happily.

“Okay, we’ll do that”, Bucky cheers.

“It’s settled then”, Steve hums, “Imma go to the restroom, I’ll be right back”, Steve says standing up and Bucky nods smiling up at him.

His plate of food is half way done but he takes advantage that his boyfriend is away and reaches for his cellphone, he browses through his contacts list until he finds the number he’s looking for and presses the little phone icon, his friend answers on the second tone.

“Yo, Bucko!” the man says.

“Hey, Dum Dum”, Bucky answers back, his phone against his ear holding it with his left hand while he plays around with his food with a fork.

“What’s up, how’s it going?” his friend wonders.

“So, about tour”, Bucky sighs.

“Yeah?” Dum Dum questions.

“I talked to Steve, he basically said I can’t go”, Bucky tries to sound as serious as possible, he has to chew on his lip to prevent laughing out loud, “he got really mad at me”, he says.

“What?!” the redhead asks in outrage.

“Yeah, I don’t know what to do, I think we’re done”, Bucky lies; he leaves the fork over the plate and covers his mouth with his hand to shut his giggles.

“We’re talking about golden boy Steve Rogers here?” Dum Dum sounds genuinely surprised and Bucky can’t hold it any longer that he starts laughing so hard that he almost falls from his chair, a few people around him give him dirty looks and he just doesn’t cared.

“Oh my god”, the brunet sighs, whipping away a few tears with his forearm.

“Bucky?” Dum Dum asks.

“I’m just fucking with you”, he chuckles some more.

“I wasn’t sure if you were laughing or crying”, Dum Dum lets out a long sigh, “shit, that was awkward, you asshole”, the man laughs.

“You should’ve listen to yourself”, Bucky says over a mouthful of food.

“Moron! I just couldn’t believe it”, Dum Dum exclaims.

“Yeah, my Stevie wouldn’t do that”, he smiles looking down at the table, “anyway, I’m going, let’s party!” Bucky cheers.

“Hell yeah!” his friend hums.

***

Steve gets out of the restroom after he washes his hands and walks back to their table, he can see his boyfriend from afar, he has his phone pressed against his ear and a big smile spread on his lips, Steve sighs deeply as he moves towards him, he just can’t get enough of this, seeing Bucky so happy and by his side, it all feels like a dream and he prays to whomever is listening that they won’t take this away from him.

“Definitely, tell the guys this thing is on”, Bucky says, the brunet looks up at Steve and offers a small smile, he smirks back as he takes his seat, “yeah, everything is alright”, he nods.

He continues to eat what’s left of his salad in silence while Bucky is still on the phone, “yes, I’m sure, he’s here with me”, Bucky hums, “it’s Dum Dum, he says hello”, Bucky says to him.

“Oh, tell him hi”, Steve smiles.

“He says hi back”, Bucky smirks, “anyway, I gotta go, man”, he nods, “but tell the others”, he says, “I’ll talk to you later”, his boyfriend hangs up.

The couple finishes their food and stay there for a few more minutes just chatting about random things. Bucky is excited about Christmas and Steve is thrilled about the upcoming vacations but he’s also really nervous about the fundraiser next week, he’s not sure what makes him more unsettled: the fact that this is his work that people is going to be buying or that Bucky is going to be there to see it. His pieces are almost done and he has to send all of them to Pepper during next week, everything is close to finished, some things are just missing final touches but he feels proud of how everything is coming out.

Also, Natasha is leaving to visit Clint’s family again and Bucky is probably going to be spending more time at Steve’s, he doesn’t have any objection about the matter, they also need to plan what they’re going to buy for their friends and all the other preparations to receive the New Year.

“Where to now?” Steve questions when they walked out of the place, “whom are we missing?” he asks.

“Something for my dad, I know exactly what, lets go”, Bucky demands.

“We’re are we going?” Steve wonders.

“I want to buy him a briefcase, he likes those vintage looking things, something like Indiana Jones would wear”, he chuckles, “I saw something like that around here”, the brunet comments.

“They sell that sort of things at that store, Fossil, I think it’s called”, Steve giggles.

“That’s right!” Bucky cheers, “a fossil, like my dad”, the brunet jokes and Steve chuckles shaking his head.

They walks over to the store that Steve mentioned, even thought they don’t make it there without stopping on another place every time that Bucky sees something that caught his attention on the display, dragging Steve inside without saying anything. Apparently, Bucky loves shopping, his boyfriend lifts pieces of clothing in the air and places them against Steve’s body, the blond just rolls his eyes and says that he doesn’t need those things, but Bucky doesn’t seem to care, if his boyfriend sees something he likes, he buys it.

Steve is glad that Bucky brought his backpack because he wasn’t sure where they would carry all the shopping bags in a motorcycle. Bucky continues to move towards their final stop, Steve behind him, but then the blond stops all the sudden when he feels a strong hand over his shoulder, he turns around slowly to see the mountain of a man in front of him.

“Fancy seeing you here”, his friend says.

“Hey guys”, Steve smiles kindly. Bucky must have noticed that Steve wasn’t following him but he appears by his side in no time.

“Hello”, Bucky smiles before he leans forward and gives Jane a small hug after he shakes Thor’s hand, “how are you?” he wonders.

“Fantastic!” Thor says enthusiastically.

“Christmas shopping?” Jane wonders pointing at the bags that Steve is carrying.

“You could say that”, Steve turns to his left to share a small smile with Bucky and then nods at Jane.

“Wonderful, we are here on the hunt for presents too, also because my dear Jean doesn’t fit on her clothes properly”, Thor smirks wide.

“Thor, I’m sure you’re not suppose to say that”, Steve says between his teeth and Bucky chuckles.

“You do not understand, my dear friends”, Thor opens his arms wide, Steve and Bucky exchange confused looks between them, they are definitely missing something and have no idea what.

Jane giggles for a few seconds when she notices the expression on their faces and then pats Thor’s forearm softly, “I’m pregnant”, she says.

“Really?” Steve questions in surprise, “that’s wonderful”, he opens his eyes wide.

“Congratulations!” Bucky exclaims.

“Thank you”, she smiles.

“Can you believe it? We are having a child”, Thor sighs, “what do you think about Thrud, for a girl?” he asks Jane.

“Lets not think about that now, besides you don’t even know if it’s a girl or a boy”, Jane chuckles.

“Of course she is, she’s daddy’s princess!” Thor announces proudly with a fist up in the air.

“But what if it’s a boy? Or if she doesn’t want to be a princess?” Jane lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Hhmm”, Thor hums rubbing his chin with his index finger and thumb, “daddy’s warrior then”, he nods and Jane shakes her head at him, Steve and Bucky stand there staring at the married couple in amusement.

***

“Are you guys excited about the holidays?” Jane questions.

“Of course”, Bucky answers right away and Steve hums happily nodding his head.

“I was going to invite you for our get together on New Year’s but you’re not going to be in town, right?” Steve adds.

“That is correct, we are spending time with my parents”, Thor comments.

“Thanks for the invite though”, Jane smiles.

“You’re welcome”, his boyfriend says.

The four of them chat for a few minutes more until they part ways after the proper goodbyes, Steve congratulates them one more time and says he’s happy for them, _because he’s nice like that_ , while Bucky just fantasizes how it would be like to have a family with Steve. Those dreams he always had about sharing his life with someone, then Brock came into picture and smashed Bucky’s hopes into the ground, only to be picked up again and glued together by this amazing man that Bucky call his boyfriend.

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice caught Bucky’s attention again, they’re outside the store where Bucky is hoping they can find his father’s gift.

“Um, yes?” Bucky says, “sorry, I was daydreaming”, he giggles.

“Oh, yeah?” Steve frowns his eyebrows, “everything alright?” he wonders.

“I…” Bucky sighs, then he nods and smiles at Steve, “I’d kiss you but I don’t want to make everyone in here jealous”, Bucky winks.

“Okay”, the blond chuckles before he steps inside the store.

Bucky walks to the back of the store and he’s lucky to find exactly what he’s looking for, and with Steve’s help they choose a beautiful leather briefcase that is perfect for his dad, _the price wasn’t so beautiful_ , but Bucky knows his dad deserves it. His boyfriend doesn’t say anything and just takes the briefcase and walks to the front counter, Bucky has to stand back and let him pay like he said he would.

The only presents missing are the ones for Connie but he already placed an order online, he’s just waiting for the package to arrive, Steve mentioned he also bought something for the little girl and Bucky’s body swells with emotions, not because of the gifts, those are just material things, but the intention is what matters. Steve is the nicest guy that Bucky has ever met and he still can’t believe how in the world he managed to get him.

“Nothing else?” Steve asks.

“Noup, all done”, he nods.

“Your place, then?” Steve questions.

“Yup”, Bucky says.

They walk towards the parking lot in calm, Bucky feels happy for their successful day and he’s also glad he got a weight lifted off his shoulders, he told Steve about tour and now they have the presents covered, he has a hunch on the back of his mind that this is going to be the best Christmas season ever.

Steve folds every item of clothing that Bucky bought and places them meticulously in Bucky’s backpack, the brunet puts it on and sits on the back of the motorcycle to let Steve drive this time. The day has gotten awfully cold by now and he can feel it creeping through the layers of clothing he’s wearing but having his chest pressed against Steve’s back is suiting, the sky is getting darker but the streets are still busy even though it’s a Saturday night.

The ride comes to an end in a few minutes and Steve walks Bucky to the entrance of the building, Bucky gets out his keys and puts his hands around the doorknob, without opening yet he turns around to face his boyfriend, the one that is conveniently close and looking down at him under those long eyelashes that fan out over his pink cheeks.

“Do you wanna come up?” Bucky wonders wiggling his eyebrows at him.

“You know I’ll love to, but Captain has been alone all day”, Steve reminds.

“You’re right”, Bucky nods, “maybe some other time”, he smirks.

“Some other time”, Steve repeats and takes a step forward slowly, closing the distance between them, he leans forward a bit and Bucky can feel Steve’s hot breath against his mouth.

“I… Steve, I…” Bucky mumbles, “I had a really good time today”, he whispers looking up and staring right into Steve’s baby-blue eyes.

The blond moves his hands up quickly and cups Bucky’s face, he closes his eyes slowly while Steve put his lips on his, they’re soft despite the weather but his nose is cold against Bucky’s skin, his hands are strangely warm as he brushes his thumbs on the brunet’s cheeks and he rubs his other fingertips at the brunet’s hairline behind his ears. Bucky parts his lips slightly, and his boyfriend peeks his tongue inside his mouth, barely brushing against his, it makes Bucky feel weak on the knees that he has to hold tightly on the doorknob, his other hand is fisted on the collar of Steve’s jacket as his boyfriend concentrates in kissing him passionately.

Bucky is awfully glad when Steve leans back a bit, not because he doesn’t want to kiss him but if he continues on Bucky is going to have an uncomfortable pressure inside his jeans. Steve lowers his hand to each side of Bucky’s neck and tilts forward again to place a tiny yet sweet kiss on the brunet’s forehead, Bucky lets out a long sigh before he moves his head forward and tucks his head under Steve’s chin, and finally letting go of the doorknob, he put his hands around the blond’s waist.

Steve does the same and returns the hug, his body is warm against Bucky’s cold frame, the body heat running down his spine making him shiver, “yeah, I had a good time too”, Steve chuckles, his chest rumbling soothingly, “get upstairs, you’re freezing”, his boyfriend demands rubbing his strong hands up and down Bucky’s back.

“Okay”, Bucky puckers his lips sadly, looking up at him.

“Have a good night, okay?” Steve says before he gives Bucky a peck on the nose, “thanks for everything, I mean it” the blond offers a shy smile.

Bucky grins and nods in return, “you too, text me when you get home?” he adds.

“Sure thing”, Steve says before he let go.

He feels a cold breeze over his body immediately and places his arms around himself to gather some heat, Bucky shifts from one foot to the other as he watches his boyfriend walk back towards his bike.

_I hate to see him go but I love to watch him leave, am I right?_

Steve sits on the motorcycle and puts on his helmet after he turns on his bike, the loud noise of the motor purring back to life in the cold December night, he turns around and waves over his shoulder, Bucky waves back and when Steve is finally out of sight, he gets inside the building and trots his way up the stairs quickly hoping that Natasha decides to make some hot cocoa that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was more on the shorter side but I promise I will make it up to you soon enough.
> 
> I can't thank you enough for the lovely comments and all the kudos, to be honest, that's what keeps me motivated to continue with this.
> 
> As always, I love hearing from you, I'm always around, don't be shy. Thank you for being patient with me, I'm sorry for making you wait so long, don't hate me xc


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> n3n

Friday morning and the first thing that Bucky does when he wakes up is send a text message to his boyfriend, like he has been doing the past few days. He’s aware that it’s probably lame and needy but he misses him, he just can’t help it, Steve doesn’t mind either, or if he does, he hasn’t said anything about it. They haven’t seen each other since Sunday afternoon when Steve dropped Bucky off at his apartment after their evening at the mall, and for the brunet, that is a very long time. 

He has been doing a lot of things during the week to keep his mind occupied: working extra hours at the office, riding his bike in the afternoon until the muscles of his legs ache and he’s drenched with sweat, band practice and writing new material, reading and watching nonsense on TV, cuddling with Natasha on the couch late at night while they eat crappy takeout, and unfortunately, doing laundry since they’re leaving next week.

_Holidays with Steve and my family. Crazy, huh?_

Bucky told Steve about tour and it almost got out of hand, like he expected it will, but he managed to express himself and explain to his boyfriend how much he means to him. It was the perfect moment, the opportunity he has been waiting for to say those three words and he just swallowed them back down again and he has been regretting it ever since.

_Idiot._

He should’ve said it, _I love you_ , just like that, but it’s not as easy as it sounds, he wants to tell him, he really does, _but how can I do it without sounding stupid? One of these days, I promise._

 **Bucky** : Morning, handsome! I just woke up, I gotta shower :(

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : Yes, please :D

 **Bucky** : Yes what?

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : Shower :B

 **Bucky** : HA-HA-HA! I didn’t know you were a comedian.

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : Lucky you, right? c:

 **Bucky** : Sure thing :) Are you busy?

 **Boyfriend** **♥** : Not really, I’m waiting for a client right now.

Bucky smirks at the phone and instead of continue on with texting, he decides to call his boyfriend, listen to his voice and tell him how much he wants to see him, he presses the call button and Steve answers right away.

“Hi, baby!” His boyfriend says happily, his voice husky but sweet.

_Fuck, I love you!_

The brunet smiles to himself as he rolls over the bed until he’s laying with his belly down, the blankets twisted around his body and his head supported with one arm while he imagines what it’ll be like to wake up next to Steve every morning.

“Buck?” Steve asks.

“I’m here”, he giggles, “hello”, Bucky adds.

“It’s almost noon, you didn’t have work today?” his boyfriend asks.

“I do gotta stop by the office but I’m not in a hurry”, he explains.

Since they’re leaving Monday morning for their little Holiday vacation, Bucky managed to finish all of his recent tasks during the week, that way he doesn’t have to worry about work and spend some quality time with his family. He just needs to go and sign some papers that Pepper requested, and after that he’s free for two whole weeks, lucky for him, his boyfriend is really generous and he closes the shop around this season, which means that Steve is also free.

“That’s convenient for you”, Steve comments.

“We’re still on for tonight?” Bucky wonders.

“If you want to”, Steve hums.

“What’s that suppose to mean? Of course I want to”, the brunet says.

“I might not be so fun tonight”, his boyfriend chuckles awkwardly.

***

“Sweetheart, we’ve talked about this”, Bucky says warmly.

“I know, but…” Steve sighs.

Tomorrow night is the fundraiser and saying that Steve is nervous is an understatement, and as the over-thinker that he is, he’s having second thoughts about the whole situation. When he was still a student, he always got weird around finals, he felt like he was going to pass out, getting jumpy and scared, even afraid that he was going to let down the people that care about him, and right now, those feelings are back again.

_What if they don’t like my paintings? What if is not enough? What if it isn’t what they expected? What if Bucky thinks they’re horrible? What if he doesn’t like the…_

“No buts, I’m going to your place later”, Bucky demands.

“I might puke, Buck”, Steve giggles, “it’s going to be disgusting”, he huffs.

“If you puke I’ll rub your back and it’s not going to be disgusting, stop worrying”, the brunet says, “I haven’t seen anything you did and I know it’s going to be incredible”, he adds, “relax, Rogers”, Bucky hums.

Steve lets out a long breath and feels the top of his cheeks blush, hearing his boyfriend say exactly what he needs makes him want to scream how much he loves him, but saying it over the phone for the first time is not such a good idea, “Thank you”, Steve sighs.

“What would you do without me?” Bucky teases giggling.

“Probably have an asthma attack”, Steve whispers between his teeth.

“No, no, no, we don’t want those”, Bucky mumbles, “I know you have everything under control, I’m just here to remind you”, his boyfriend says.

Steve can’t help but to feel proud about himself, is something he’s not used to yet, it’s one of the many things that Bucky has taught him and he is grateful for it, feeling good about that sort of thing doesn’t mean he’s being self-centered and he had to learn that the hard way.

“Well, thanks for that anyway”, Steve chuckles.

“You’re very welcome”, Bucky adds cheerfully, “hey, I might run a bit late this afternoon, just so you know”, he says, “I have to pick up my suit at the drycleaners but after that I’ll go straight to your place”, he explains.

“Oh, that’s okay”, the blond says, “I actually was planning to go to the barber shop tomorrow but I can to that today after work”, Steve nods.

“You’re getting handsome-er?” Bucky asks, “if that’s even possible”, he murmurs loud enough so Steve could hear.

He blushes again as he usually does when someone compliments his looks but he doesn’t said anything about it, he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “I just need a trim, my hair is getting to the point where I can’t fix it properly because it’s too long”, he chuckles.

“Your hair is fine, you’re damn fine actually”, his boyfriend giggles, “but if you think you need it that’s okay too”, he adds, “I’ll see you later then?” Bucky asks.

“Sure thing”, Steve smiles, “I gotta get going, my client will be here any second”, he sighs.

“Okay, Stevie, have a good day”, Bucky says.

“You too, Buck”, Steve nods as he hangs up, a wide smile spreading on his lips before he turns on his heal and heads out to the lobby.

***

“So, let me get this straight, or gay, whatever”, Tony waves a hand at him, “Saint Steve Rogers groped you up the stairs to your apartment and then you came how many times?” Tony asks pointing at Bucky with a stylus pen.

“Tonyyyy”, Bruce sing-songs, still not looking up from where he’s hunched over the light table on the corner of the lab.

“I didn’t say I came multiple times, I just said I was really tired after, and the groping thing slipped, okay? It’s non of your business”, Bucky shakes his head, his legs slightly open and his hands rested on his hips.

“You started this, you finish it!” Tony yells.

“I’m afraid he’s got a point, Bucky”, Bruce smirks.

“Damn right I do”, the man nods once, “thanks, Brucey”, Tony winks at his friend.

“You’re worst than a bunch of teenagers”, Bucky chuckles shaking his head.

“Who would’ve thought that our sweet golden boy is such a sex maniac”, Tony giggles.

“First of all, he’s not ours, he’s mine” he points out, “second, he’s not a sex maniac”, he says, “like you”, Bucky whispers.

“You’re a bad influence, Barnes”, the man with the goatee says.

“Or a good one”, Bruce shrugs a shoulder casually.

“Thanks”, Bucky smirks, “can we stop talking about my sex life, please?” he adds.

“Technically, we’re talking about his, not yours”, Tony points out.

“Hey, I saw some of Steve’s pieces for tomorrow, they’re amazing”, Bruce nods; Bucky is awfully glad that at least one of his friends complied and did like he requested and changed the subject.

“I bet”, Bucky says bitterly.

“You bet? You haven’t seen them?” Bruce frowns his eyebrows and Bucky shakes his head.

“That sucks, even I saw them”, Tony teases.

“I insisted but he said he wants them to be a surprise”, Bucky explains.

“Uuuuhhh, I know why!” Tony wiggles his eyebrows, “do you want me to tell you?” he asks.

“Don’t”, Bruce says right away, “if Steve wants to give you a surprise we’re gonna let him”, he nods once, “right, Tony?” he asks but it sounds more like a treat, he takes off his glasses and cleans them with his shirt and puts them back on.

“You’re no fun”, Tony huffs.

“Thanks Bruce, I think Steve will appreciate that”, Bucky smirks kindly.

“Hey, what did you get him for Christmas?” Tony wonders.

“Something”, Bucky answers plainly.

“Oh, c’mon!” Tony insists.

“If I tell you, you’re gonna tell him tomorrow”, Bucky says, “you’re horrible like that”, he chuckles.

“Good one”, Bruce giggles, “don’t trust him”, he shakes his head.

“You guys are hurting my feelings”, Tony whines.

“What feelings?” Pepper asks as she comes into the room looking as pristine as ever, Bruce starts laughing so hard that he has to lean against a table for balance and Bucky’s abdomen begins to hurt because of his giggles.

***

“So, you’re spending Christmas time with the Barnes, huh?” Darcy giggles her eyebrows.

“Yup”, Steve smirks before he looks down to browse around Darcy’s notes of the week.

Everything is in order and the day has been passing by a bit slow, but fortunately, he’s currently waiting for his last appointment before their Holiday break, then two weeks of doing nothing but drinking hot cocoa and watching television, this time not only with his friends but also his boyfriend, which it’s probably the main reason he’s excited about having some free time, any second he can spend with Bucky he’s going to try to make the best of it.

“Oh, Steve”, Darcy sighs, “it makes me so happy to see you like this”, she says.

“Like what?” Steve raises an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean”, she smirks, “you deserve it”, the girl nods.

“I…”, he takes a deep breath. Steve’s instinct is telling him to say no or to ask what she’s talking about; to be honest, he’s in such a good mood, feeling like he’s at the top of the world that he isn’t going to let anybody bring him down, not even himself, “thank you”, he smiles and the brunette grins back.

“I am awfully sorry to interrupt”, Loki comes walking towards them, if it wasn’t because the man talked Steve would’ve completely missed his silent steps, “I don’t mean to bother you but can you inform me at what time it’s my next appointment?” they guy asks.

“Sure, cupcake”, Darcy smirks teasingly and Loki rolls his eyes, the girl types away a few keynotes while she hums thoughtfully, “in about twenty minutes”, she informs.

“Marvelous”, he smiles, “thank you, darling”, he turns around and walks away, Darcy’s face lights up at the pet name as her lips grow into a big smile while she stares into the computer screen.

“Well, I’m not the only one that deserves to be happy”, Steve comments.

“Yeah”, she sighs, “it was unexpected”, Darcy giggles.

“Tell me about it”, the blond chuckles.

“Sooooooo…” she hums dragging the ‘o’, “tomorrow, huh?” she smirks.

“Yes”, Steve sighs heavily.

“Don’t be so nervous, I’m sure everything’s going to turn out amazing”, Darcy stretches her arm and pats Steve’s shoulder softly, “I have much bigger problems, I don’t even know what I’m going to wear!” Darcy shakes her head.

“Oh my…” Steve giggles.

“I know, the struggle is real”, she laughs.

“I’m sure that whatever you decide to wear is gonna look great”, he smiles kindly.

“Oh, stop it”, she waves a hand at him, “you’re too nice”, she says.

“I try”, Steve shrugs a shoulder before he lowers his eyes and looks around the notebook again.

“Do you have your suit ready?” Darcy questions.

“Yeah, I just need to get a haircut”, he says passing his hand through his long hair locks, “later perhaps, but everything else seems to be under control”, he nods, “Pepper sent me a picture of the exhibit, everything looks…” he sighs, “well, it looks okay”, he says.

“Can I see?” she asks with her eyes wide open and her smile big and bright. Steve pulls out his cellphone from inside the pocket of his jeans and browses the photo gallery until he finds what he’s looking for and hands her the phone. Darcy turns the phone around and zooms in a bit to take a better look, “Steve, this is incredible”, she nods.

“Thanks”, he blushes.

“I can’t wait to see the finished product tomorrow”, Darcy hands back his cellphone.

“Me too, I guess”, he says before the bell in the front door sounds letting him know that his next client has arrived.

***

“Hello, Bucky”, the woman says with a soft voice drawing Bucky’s attention as he walks his way down the hall towards the elevator.

The brunet turns around slowly to face her, “Pepper, hi”, he waves his hand at her before she leans forward and kisses his cheek.

“We didn’t get to talk much earlier, you know Tony”, the blonde giggles, “how are you?” She questions.

“I’m good, what about you?” he says.

“I’m wonderful”, she cheers, “the holidays put me in such a good mood”, Pepper comments.

“Yeah, me too”, he chuckles.

“Are you ready for your vacations?” the blonde asks.

“More than ready, can’t wait to see the family”, he nods, “are you doing something special?” he wonders.

“I’m taking Tony to the family farm, we’ll see how that goes”, she lifts her eyebrows.

“A farm? I wish you the best of lucks”, Bucky chuckles.

“Thanks”, she smiles, “are you heading down?” she questions pointing at the elevator.

“Oh, yeah”, he says and turns around to follow her inside, she clicks a couple of numbers on the panel before the doors close in front of them.

“I’m heading to the exhibit hall to check on the last details for tomorrow”, she comments.

“Oh, I see”, he nods.

“I’ll be happy to show you around but Steve was specific with the way he wanted his pieces to be handled”, Pepper says.

“Really?” Bucky asks curiously.

“Yes, the only thing I can tell you is that you’ll be amazed”, she smirks, “your boyfriend told me you haven’t seen them”, the woman shakes her head.

“Noup”, he pouts, “I know it’s different from what I’ve seen, like the flash art around the shop or the tattoo styles he normally does”, Bucky comments.

“That’s right, and that’s all I can say”, she points at him with her index finger.

“Okay”, he says sadly.

“Tomorrow, try to be patient”, she nods right when the elevator stops, the doors open and she steps out slowly, “see you later, Bucky”, Pepper says over her shoulder.

“Yeah, goodbye”, he responds with a small sigh, he leans back into the mirrored wall as he waits for the elevator to stop on the lobby floor while he tries not to think about the fact that everyone has seen Steve’s work but him, he knows it must be for a good reason, _right?_

He didn’t brought his bike today since he knew he was going to stay at Steve’s that day, besides, it’s going to be impossible to carry around his suit without getting it all wrinkled again if he drives there, he decides to take the subway and then just grab a cab to his boyfriend’s house.

The day is painfully cold and windy that he had to wear several layers of clothing to be comfortable enough to be outside. He moves as quickly as possible towards the subway, thankfully, it isn’t so crowded for a Friday afternoon that he finds an empty seat on the back of the train.

The brunet puts on his headphones and hums at the rhythm of the music in the intro of ‘Heavier Than Heaven Lonelier Than God’ by Blacklisted, his mind drifts off to his boyfriend right away since the blond really likes that record, he sighs happily and rests his back against the seat. Bucky licks his dry lips and fiddles with his lips piercing, the metal cold and slick against his tongue, he waits patiently as he tries to ignore the not so subtle stares from the girl seating across from him.

Apparently, everyone in Brooklyn had decided to pick up their clothes from the drycleaners at the same time he arrives, it takes way more time that he had expected and he sends a text to his boyfriend, letting him know he’s going to take a bit more time but that he’s definitely going. Luckily, his phone starts to ring, he smiles when he saw Natasha’s picture on the screen, at least his friend can keep him distracted while he waits.

“Hey, Natalia”, he answers, “how are you?” the brunet asks.

“Wait a second”, she demands. If it wasn’t because Bucky can hear Clint in the background he would’ve thought she was yelling at him, “James, where are you?” she questions.

“I’m okay, thanks for asking”, he giggles, “I’m at the drycleaners”, Bucky adds.

“I know you’re okay, if not I would’ve noticed”, she chuckles.

“Touché”, he giggles, “what’s up?” Bucky wonders.

“Clint is staying tonight, just so you know”, she announces.

“Suit yourself, I’m staying at Steve’s, until Sunday actually”, Bucky says.

“Really? Perfect!” she cheers, “hey, but we’re both leaving on Monday”, Natasha comments.

“I know, how about if we spend Sunday just chillin’, you and I?” he suggests.

“Deal! Say hi to Steve for me, be safe”, she hums.

“You too Nat, take care”, he says before he hangs up right on time when the lady on the counter takes the receipt from his hand.

***

Steve takes off his helmet as soon he walks over to the front door, feeling the back of his head cold because of his new short hair, he opens quickly and steps inside immediately. Captain isn’t back home from the Morales’ so he decides to turn on the heating system before he walks over there to get him. He trots up to his room to put on something more comfortable and warm, he settles for some gray sweatpants and a black sweatshirt before he moves back downstairs and turns on the Christmas lights.

Just in time when he’s gulping down the last drops of a glass of water he hears three soft knocks on the doors, he walks there expecting to find Miles along with his four-legged friend, but it isn’t them. His gorgeous boyfriend is standing there with his arms wrapped around himself and his things tossed to the side by his feet, the brunet looks great with a big but lazy smile on his lips, his nose and cheeks red from the weather, his hair covered with a beanie and dressed in all black as usual but his eyes are bright and his piercings shiny.

“Hi”, Steve smiles wide.

“Hello”, the brunet says, his teeth clacking together from the chilly weather. Bucky takes two steps forward a tucks himself under Steve’s chin, the side of his face placed against the blond’s chest, his boyfriend is freezing, his clothes cold and his body shivering.

He puts his arms around Bucky right away and rubs his back slowly, “hey, lets get you inside, yeah?” he says already dragging the brunet along with him, “why don’t you change into something more comfortable?” Steve suggests and Bucky nods; the blond picks up his boyfriend’s things from the floor and places them over the couch after he closes the door behind them.

A few minutes later, Steve is setting two cups to pour the hot cocoa he just made when he feels Bucky’s arms wrapping around his waist, the brunet sighs deeply before Steve turns around slowly.

“I missed you”, Bucky smirks, “where’s Captain?” he questions.

“I missed you too”, Steve nods, “he’s at the Morales’, I was about to go get him”, he explains.

“Oh, okay”, his boyfriend says, “I was really cold”, he chuckles, “this looks nice”, Bucky passes his hand through Steve’s messy yet short hair.

“Thanks”, he says.

Steve moves his hand up to cup his boyfriend’s face, he leans forward and puts his lips against Bucky’s, his piercing is a bit cold but his lips are soft and warm. Bucky has his hands placed on Steve’s waist while the blond buries his fingers on his boyfriend’s long strands of hair; the brunet parts his lips a bit and Steve takes the opportunity to kiss him deeply. He hisses when Bucky moves his hands down the blond’s shirt, his bony fingers are cold and Bucky chuckles against his mouth.

Their little kiss is starting to get more intense as Steve continues to suck his boyfriend’s mouth, nibbling his lower lip and getting a soft moan in return from the brunet while he toys with the elastic band of Steve’s pants. Everything is going great and he isn’t sure if they were going to end up having sex in the middle of the kitchen floor or not, but it doesn’t sound so bad, until there’s a hard knock on the door, the one that brings them back to reality.

Bucky lets out a soft whine on the back of his throat, “I’ll get it”, he pouts.

Steve follows him chuckling to himself, trying to soothe his clothes back in place. Bucky opens the door to reveal Miles standing there with Captain by his side, the kid offers a small wave and a smile.

“Sorry to bring him so late”, he says looking down at Captain, then he returns his view up and opens his eyes wide, “I didn’t interrupted anything, did I?” he stares at Bucky in horror, the dog walks straight to the kitchen not paying any attention to them.

Steve giggles when he notices that his boyfriend’s hair is a mess and that’s why Miles must’ve suspected something, “you have no idea”, Bucky mutters between his teeth.

“OH. MY. GOD!” Miles exclaims, “I’m so sorry”, the kid blushes.

“It’s okay, he’s just kidding”, Steve says.

“Don’t worry, nothing that we can’t pick up where we left”, Bucky giggles and the boy’s eyes open wider.

“Bucky!” it’s Steve’s time to blush.

“Okay, it was nice seeing ya’, see you later, byeeeee!” Miles hurries trotting away from them while Bucky continues to laugh and Steve just rolls his eyes.

***

At the end, they don’t pick up where they left as he said they would, they walk back to the kitchen to drink their hot cup of cocoa while they wait for the pizza that Steve ordered as they chat a bit about their day. After that, they make some popcorn and decide to put on The Shinning on Steve’s request, something about going with the current weather.

Steve hasn’t mentioned the Fundraiser tomorrow but Bucky can tell he’s nervous, the brunet decides to avoid the subject and just concentrate on the movie and the good company.

Minutes later, Bucky is seating closely next to Steve, his legs folded at the knees and up the couch, the bowl of buttery popcorn over his lap and the blond’s arm stretched across the backrest and against Bucky’s shoulder blades, his fingers gently tracing patterns on the back of his neck, sending goosebumps all over his body. The movie is in the part where the kid begins wondering around the hotel riding his tricycle when Steve’s phone starts going off where he left it over the coffee table in the middle of the living room.

He turns his head a bit to see that his boyfriend frowns his eyebrows in confusion, he probably wasn’t expecting a call, or at least not in the middle of a Friday night. The blond leans forward and looks down at his phone and when he picks it up, right in that moment, a huge smile spreads on his lips, his face lights up as he stands up, he clears his throat before he puts his cellphone against his ear and walks away, leaving Bucky alone in the living room. Bucky follows Steve with his eyes when he moves away from him and into the kitchen.

“Hi, Peggy”, Steve says enthusiastically.

Bucky feels like he just received a low blow to his stomach, he takes a deep breath and lets the air out slowly through his mouth, it’s stupid of him to feel jealous about it, he knows better than to think his boyfriend would still be having something with anybody else. _This is Steve Rogers we are talking about, right?_ He can’t hear exactly what the blond is saying from inside the kitchen, just a few words and muffled sounds but the has a cheerful tone and his voice is low and soft.

Trying to put his concentration back to the movie is difficult when Steve is away talking to his ex-girlfriend, it isn’t because Bucky is mad, he doesn’t want to be Peggy or take the place she has in Steve’s heart, but knowing what they had, his friend’s words replaying in the back of his mind when they had a chat about the matter a couple of weeks ago, he can’t help but to feel like perhaps he’s doing something wrong, like Steve doesn’t feel the same way that he does towards him, it’s scary and sad but there’s nothing he can do about it if that’s the case.

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice interrupts his thoughts. The brunet looks up to see that Steve is standing next to him looking down with his head tilted to the side, “interesting movie?” Steve chuckles.

He didn’t realize he had been staring at the TV screen without paying any attention, lost in his own mind and alone with his thoughts. He stares right into Steve’s eyes but he doesn’t say anything, he just offers a weak smile, but it probably isn’t enough since Steve doesn’t seem convinced.

“It was Peggy, she said she’s coming after New Year’s”, Steve cheers nodding.

“That’s nice”, Bucky says plainly.

The blond sits down again and grabs a handful of popcorn to shove them all inside his mouth, Bucky stays there feeling awkward and weird next to Steve, thinking about his boyfriend spending his days with someone else that is not him, cuddled up on this same couch watching movies that she likes, Steve’s fingers combing her hair and not Bucky’s, her delicate hands smooth against Steve’s skin, Steve’s clear blue eyes staring back at her big browns instead of his icy blue ones.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks, probably noticing that Bucky isn’t paying attention.

“Steve…” Bucky whispers.

Steve turns to the side and stares at him with a confused look on his face, he must have sensed that something is off, “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asks.

“You love her”, he says looking down at the half empty bowl of popcorn.

“What?” Steve questions, Bucky can feel his boyfriend’s eyes on him, he moves his stare up to see that Steve is looking at him with a deep frown on his eyebrows and forehead.

“Peggy”, he says, “you love her”, Bucky nods.

“I…”, he shakes his head, “you don’t understand, Buck, she’s…” Steve sighs heavily, he leans forward and puts his elbows over his knees and rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“I do understand”, Bucky says, “it wasn’t a question”, he adds.

He does understand, he has to in order to be able to be with someone with such a big heart like his boyfriend, he needs to accept Steve as he is, and if he still has feelings for someone else he has to respect that even though their relationship ended some time ago, and if he doesn’t love Bucky like he does he’ll have to learn to live with that.

***

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

This is what Steve has been terrified about, he does love Peggy, with all his heart, but not in love with her anymore, apparently Bucky is aware of it now and this is the main reason why he hasn’t told him how much he loves him. Steve’s scare that Bucky might not take him seriously, that he’ll think he’s lying or that he doesn’t feel the way he says, and now it’ll be more difficult to confess himself.

“Where is this coming from?” Steve wonders, the weight of his head supported on his hands, his fingernails scratching his scalp, almost pulling at his freshly cut hairs.

“Does it matter?” Bucky whispers.

“Is it… jealousy?” Steve questions, he turns his head to the side to look back at Bucky over his shoulder, “because I assure you that you don’t need to worry about…” he says but Bucky starts to shake his head and Steve claps his lips together right away, he turns around again so he’s facing his boyfriend and puts his hands over his lap.

“Steve, I…” Bucky sighs, “it’s okay”, he nods and leans forward to put down the bowl of popcorn on the floor before he places his hands over Steve’s, “it’s hard but it’s okay”, he offers a weak smile that the only thing it does is break Steve’s heart even more.

“No, it’s not”, he shakes his head, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”, Steve sniffs looking down at their hands.

“Hey”, Bucky whispers placing his right hand over Steve’s shoulder, “listen to me”, he says moving his hand up to cup Steve’s face, “don’t ever do that”, he stares right into Steve’s eyes, Bucky doesn’t look angry but there’s sadness behind his eyes and Steve can notice it no matter how big the brunet’s smile is, “you don’t have to be sorry for how you feel, ever”, he leans forward and pecks Steve’s lips, the blond has to swallow down the tears that are beginning to gather inside his throat.

“I’m telling you, I don’t deserve you”, Steve says sadly.

“And I’m telling you, don’t say that”, Bucky chuckles, “c’mon here”, he demands leaning back into the couch pulling Steve’s arms, Bucky lays down and opens his arms, Steve is on top of him with his head turned to the side and rested in the middle of his boyfriend’s chest. He just wants to stop that moment, to make everything else disappear and stay with Bucky right there, he knows that’s impossible but he’ll try to enjoy it as much as he can.

“If something”, Bucky says rubbing Steve’s back soothingly, “this makes me appreciate you even more”, he kisses the top of his head.

This time, Steve has to let out a few silent tears, the salty water running down his face and into Bucky’s hoodie, damping the soft fabric against Steve’s face, he sniffles a few times and his boyfriend just keeps running his hands up and down the blond’s back without saying anything.

All of this came out of nowhere but he’s not someone that walks away from situations like this, by no means he wanted to make Bucky feel like he doesn’t want him, he has showed him that he really wants to be with him and Steve needs to make him feel the same way, tell him that he does love Peggy, he cares about her and she’s important to him and that probably will never change. On the other side, Bucky is the one that he wants to spend the rest of his life with; nobody else makes him feel like Bucky does. All that Bucky has done, the way he got into Steve’s life and stole his heart without previous warning, he understands him like no one else, he cares for him like no one else, he makes him feel wanted like no one else, all because Bucky is like no one else.

He has to do it, he has to confess his real feelings to this man, find the courage to tell him and accept whatever comes after it, and if Bucky doesn’t want to be with him after that, it doesn’t matter if he gets his heart broken, he will respect his decision and wish him the best. So, Steve will proclaim his love to him, soon.

_But, how?_

***

Steve got really emotional about the whole situation and Bucky wasn’t expecting any less from him to be honest, he just lays there with Steve’s body weight crushing him down but he doesn’t say anything, he just consoles him and tells him everything is alright. The blond cries for a few minutes while Bucky runs his fingers through his hair trying to concentrate back into the movie that is playing in the background.

When the film comes to an end and the main menu is static in the TV screen, they stay there for even more time, it seems like an eternity, Bucky doesn’t know what time it is and he’s a bit tired for the long day but he feels sleepless, he just wants to cuddle his boyfriend and make him feel better.

The blond lifts his head a bit and stares up at Bucky’s face, his eyes are red and glassy but they’re shinning bright because of the Christmas lights of the tree, Bucky cups the blond’s face and kisses his lips tenderly, it’s a soft kiss even though Steve’s lips are a bit dry and salty from all the popcorn.

“Thank you”, Steve whispers against his mouth, a small and sad smirk spreading on his lips.

“You’re very welcome”, Bucky hums.

His boyfriend clears his throat and leans back to give him some space, “I’m a bit thirsty, do you want anything?” Steve questions almost standing up.

“Yeah, I’ll get it, I need to stand up”, Bucky chuckles as he stretches his legs, “water?” he asks.

“Please”, Steve nods after he sits back.

He stands up and walks towards the kitchen slowly, the funny feeling of his blood running down his numb legs while he moves. Bucky goes straight to grab a water bottle from inside the fridge, he trots back to the living room and hands the plastic container to his boyfriend, “I’m gonna make some coffee, okay?” he questions and Steve nods, “do you want some?” Bucky asks.

“Not really, maybe some tea”, Steve answers looking up at him, “I’ll do it”, he says.

“I can do it”, Bucky leans forward and kisses Steve’s forehead.

“Thank you”, Steve sighs, a small smile spread on his lips.

Bucky walks back to make his single cup of coffee on the Keurig machine and while he waits for that, he pours water into the teapot to fix Steve’s drink as he requested, he places the empty cup next to the stove and moves to the corner to open the little door of the top counter where his boyfriend keeps the teabags and such. He chuckles to himself as soon as he sees everything in front of him, Bucky has seen this cupboard before but it looks different than last time, it’s even more stocked than a regular store, the boxes of teabags organized in a color scheme and types.

“Holy shit, this is crazy!” he laughs.

A few seconds after, he hears a noise coming from the living room followed by some steps, “what was that?” Steve asks, Bucky peeks over his shoulder to notice that his boyfriend is standing by the doorframe.

“This”, he waves his hand at the counter in front of him.

“Oh”, the blond hums, “I was stressed from work, I needed to do something else”, Steve chuckles.

“I fucking love you, you’re so adorable”, Bucky chuckles, “which one do you want?” he questions looking around and reading the tags of the different boxes at the same time the teapot starts beeping over the stove, he leans to the side to turn it off and almost burns his hand in the process.

“What did you say?” Steve asks, he has a surprised tone on his voice, Bucky frowns his eyebrows and turns around to see if something is wrong, the blond is still standing by the door with his eyes wide open staring at Bucky.

“I asked you which one do you want”, Bucky repeats slowly.

“No”, Steve shakes his head and Bucky’s frown deepens, “before that”, the blond says.

Bucky tries to remember what his exact words were, he leans back on the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, “I said that you’re so…” he starts but he claps his lips together right away as soon as he realizes what he really said, his piercing cold trapped between them.

_Did I just…_

_Fuck!_

“Steve…” he opens his eyes wide and stares at his boyfriend, the blond is just standing still looking at him without saying a word, Bucky feels awkward and he just wishes a hole will open down his feet and swallowed him, he moves his stare away from Steve and looks down at his feet.

The words are out there, his tongue has betrayed him and the phrase he has been scared to say left his mouth like air, he spit the words without any warning, there weren’t any candles lit up or a fresh starry night above their heads, a romantic dinner in the backyard or a nice picnic in the park, it’s just them in Steve’s house after an awkward conversation, but it’s too late to back down.

_Now or never._

***

“I said I love you”, Bucky whispers, Steve could barely hear him Bucky’s words and he though he was imagining things, “it’s the truth, I’m in love with you”, the brunet says a bit louder.

_Is he joking?_

Steve is having trouble to form words with his tongue, he can’t believe what’s happening, his head is spinning, it’s a lot to take in on a single night but it’s real, Bucky said it and Steve needs to say it too.

“Buck…” he whispers, his eyes still open wide staring at his boyfriend, the brunet seems uncomfortable looking down at the floor and his hands fiddling with the hem of his hoodie.

“Listen, I don’t want to make this weird or anything”, Bucky says finally looking up at Steve, the blond stays frozen in place trying to make the circuits of his brain function again, “it’s true and perhaps you think it’s too soon and I totally get it but…” Bucky mumbles rapidly.

“Shut up”, Steve interrupts.

“I just hope that one day you can love me like you love Peggy”, Bucky continues, “if not, I understand, I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you and…” he shakes his head.

“I can’t”, Steve says and Bucky shuts his mouth, _finally_.

Steve just wants him to stop talking, to let him think about what he wants to say, to order his thoughts and explain how he feels. He shakes his head before he passes his hand over his face, he lets out a deep sigh and Bucky stands there with his cheeks blushed while he chews off his bottom lip looking sad and disappointed.

The blond manages to make his legs get back to work and walks over to Bucky, he places his hands on the counter top on each side of Bucky’s body and the brunet lowers his eyes right away.

“I can’t love you like a love Peggy”, Steve says.

“I know”, Bucky whispers followed by a sniff.

“I can’t love you like I love Peggy because…” Steve clears his throat, “I love you like I love James Buchanan Barnes”, he says, “I don’t want to do it any other way”, he shakes his head.

“What?” Bucky opens his eyes wide as he moves his head up slowly, a lonely tear falling down his cheek, “I thought you…” the brunet starts and Steve just wants him to stop talking to let him speak, he figures the best way to do that without being rude is to kiss him.

Steve moves his hands up quickly and puts them on each side of Bucky’s face, he leans forward and crashes their lips together, Bucky yelps in surprise but he complies right away, opening his mouth a bit to let their lips interlock with each other’s. The blond lets out a long breath through his nose as he kisses his boyfriend passionately, his eyes close and his heart beating fast inside his ribcage. He feels his body is going to explode, it has been like a rollercoaster but he hasn’t been this happy in his whole life.

Bucky places his hands over Steve’s hips, his thumbs rubbing in circles against the exposed strip of skin between his shirt and pants, Steve just keeps kissing him gently turning his head from side to side to take some air.

“Tell me I’m not dreaming”, Bucky whispers against his mouth with his eyes still closed.

The blond kisses his boyfriend’s mouth one more time with his mouth closed, then down his chin and jaw, his cheeks and nose, “you”, _kiss_ , “are”, _kiss_ , “not”, _kiss_ , “dreaming”, he says, _kiss_. Bucky sighs happily while Steve continues kissing all around his face, his forehead and eyebrows, then the burnet giggles when he pecks his eyelids.

His boyfriend opens his eyes slowly, he looks happy and peaceful and it makes Steve feel like the luckiest man in the world. He leaves his hands placed around Bucky’s neck and looks right into his boyfriend’s eyes for a few seconds, then from his mouth to his long eyelashes, his shiny piercings, his chiseled jaw and the wrinkles on his forehead.

“I love you”, Bucky says.

“Say it again”, Steve pleads.

***

“I love you, Steve Rogers”, Bucky repeats, “and I’ll say it as much as you want me to”, he nods.

If he knew it was going to feel this great to say he loves Steve out loud to someone that isn’t Natasha he would’ve screamed it a long time ago, but the look on Steve’s face was worth every second he waited.

“I love you too”, Steve sighs and Bucky smiles wide, the blond puts his arms around Bucky’s frame and hugs him tightly, he rests his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder with his head turned to the side, smelling the sweet scent of Steve’s skin, he returns the hug humming happily.

“I’m so glad I finally said it”, Bucky chuckles, “it was driving me crazy”, he shakes his head.

“Ditto”, Steve giggles, “listen, Bucky”, he says and Bucky looks up at him, “I love Peggy, she’s important to me, I’m not gonna lie”, the blond nods, “but I’m not in love with her, I care about her like I care about Sam or Clint”, he says, “but you?” he sighs, “baby, you have no idea how much you mean to me”, he kisses Bucky’s forehead.

“If that’s somewhere close to how I feel about you then I do, I know”, the brunet pecks Steve’s lips, “I saw you”, he says followed by another kiss, “I wanted you”, he nods, “I got you”, he smirks, “I love you”, Bucky sighs before Steve leans forward and hugs him again.

“I was probably falling for you even before I got you”, his boyfriend giggles.

“You have me, I swear”, he nods quickly.

“I know, baby”, Steve smiles, the blond places his arms around Bucky again and he immediately tucks his head under his chin and nuzzles against him, “mine”, his boyfriend whispers, Steve kisses the top of Bucky’s head right before the brunet yawns deeply, “what do you say if we go upstairs?” Steve suggests.

“Okay”, Bucky sighs happily.

Steve makes sure that all of the doors are properly locked and Captain’s plates are full while Bucky turns off the TV and blue-ray player, they grab their hot drinks and walk up to the bedroom. Bucky turns on the lamps on each nightstand while Steve goes to the bathroom and by the time he comes back, Bucky is already buried under the covers with a _stupid_ huge smile on his face.

Steve gets inside the blankets as well but he sits down with his back against the headboard, he leans to the side to reach for the sketchbook and pencil he keeps on the table by his side, Bucky snuggles next to him and places his head on Steve’s thigh to use it as a pillow while he seds a text to his friend.

 **Bucky** : OMG Naaaaat! I told him.

He doesn’t get a response right away; he figures Natasha is probably busy so he settles to waist some time watching random posts on Instagram, liking every picture that has a cute animal on it and commenting on things related to his band. Bucky takes a selfie with a silly face while Steve looks concentrated on the background staring down at his sketchbook.

 **Natalia:** Told what to whom?

 **Bucky:** Steve, I finally told him how I feel, like for real  <3333

 **Natalia:** WHAAAAAT?!

 **Bucky:** It kinda slipped actually :B

 **Natalia:** Why am I not surprised? What did he said?

 **Bucky:** He said he loves me back. Steve loves me, woooooohhhh! :D <3:)

 **Natalia:** I told you everything was going to be okay

 **Bucky:** You’re always right, we know x)

 **Natalia:** Can I go back to having sex now? ;)

 **Bucky:** EWWWW!

Bucky chuckles at Natasha’s text when he puts away his phone on the nightstand next to him, he returns to his position and puts his head on Steve’s leg again, the blond reaches to the side and moves the notebook back in place. Steve places his hand on Bucky’s hair, combing the brunet’s long stands with his fingers, Bucky sighs deeply as his eyes closed slowly.

He would have fallen asleep in no time if it wasn’t because Steve speaks again, his voice is soft and quiet, “Bucky?” he says.

“Yeah?” he answers, he puts his hand over his boyfriend’s leg and rubs it gently, his eyes are still closed and his eyelids heavy while Steve continues to play with his hair. Steve doesn’t say anything right away, Bucky frowns his eyebrows in question before opens his eyes to stare up him.

***

Steve clears his throat and looks down at his boyfriend, his expression is clear and open, the blond smiles before he wiggles his body to indicate he’s going to lay down next to Bucky, the brunet moves back to give him some space while he pulls the blankets over him after they turn off the lights on each nightstand. He shifts to the side to face Bucky and cups his face with his hand; the brunet leans into the touch and hums cheerfully, the room is dark around them but he can still see him thanks to the dim light that the moon provides, making Steve’s fingers ache with need to draw the soft shadows on his boyfriend’s face.

“You make me really happy, you know”, Steve leans forward and kisses Bucky’s nose, the brunet giggles and Steve smiles at him.

“Same”, Bucky says, “fuck, I love you so much”, he chuckles.

“I love you too”, Steve nods looking right into Bucky’s eyes.

“What do you think would have happened if I hadn’t fallen from that tree?” the brunet asks, “back then, I though that was worst thing that ever happened to me because I never saw you again”, Bucky sighs.

“But you’re here now, with me, that’s all that matters”, Steve nods, his hand still placed on the side of Bucky’s neck.

“For a long time I felt empty, I know I have my family and some friends, but even though I was in a crowded room still felt lonely”, Bucky says, “but when I’m with you…” he shakes his head, “I can’t even explain it”, the brunet leans into Steve’s personal space and places his lips on his softly.

“It’s like that The Cure song, right?” Steve asks.

“What?” Bucky chuckles.

“Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again”, he says, “I know exactly what you mean”, Steve hums.

“You’re such a dork”, his boyfriend laughs before he launches himself at Steve, making him roll and lay on his back, Bucky lands on top of him, their legs entangled and the blankets all over the place.

Steve puts his hands on Bucky’s waist and starts to kiss the brunet’s jawline, Bucky has his arms folded between their chests, he’s giggling a bit and Steve can feel the vibrations of his throat against his lips when he kisses him down his neck. Bucky moans softly while Steve continues kissing him as his strong hands keep him in place, his fingers applying the tinniest amount on pressure on Bucky’s lower back.

He doesn’t let go of his boyfriend when he turns them around, this time Bucky parts his legs and Steve positions himself between them, the brunet pulls the blankets over them before he hooks his arms under Steve’s armpits to hug him, the blond breathes against the crook of his neck softly and Bucky giggles, Steve smiles and moves his hands up and down Bucky’s sides.

“Tell me again”, Steve says against Bucky’s neck before he kisses him with his lips slightly open.

“I love you”, Bucky whispers, he closes his legs around Steve’s body to bring him closer as he tilts his head back further into the pillow to give Steve more space.

Everything seems like a dream, Steve still isn’t sure if what’s happening is real or not, there’s a part on the back of his mind that keeps telling him that any of it is actually true, but having Bucky right there, his skin smooth and warm under Steve’s fingertips, his hot breath whispering into his ear and his voice low and sweet, makes him start believing it.

Hearing Bucky say that he loves him makes him feel lightheaded and dizzy, butterflies on his stomach and his skin hot. Steve kisses his way up to Bucky’s neck until he meets his lips, “I love you too”, he says against his mouth. Bucky opens his eyes slowly and lets out a shaky breath through his mouth, the corners of his lips tugging up forming that precious smile that Steve loves so much.

They continue to make out for what it seems like an eternity, _not that I’m complaining_ , exchanging kisses and touches under the blankets, everything is calm and mellow and Steve is over the moon. This isn’t about the physical aspect, this isn’t about sex, it’s about showing how much they care about each other, it’s about showing their feelings, it’s about them being in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo... they said it!
> 
> It was driving me crazy and I know you too, so there it was, I hope you like it :D
> 
> In order of certain events of this past week I feel like I need to tell you (as I constantly do, and I won't get tired of saying it), you guys really mean a lot to me, reading your comments, kudos, bookmarks and all make me extremely happy, and that's exactly what I need to keep writing this <3
> 
> I don't care where you come from or where've you been, your beliefs, sexual orientation, gender, ethnicity, political stance or any of that, we are all human beings, we all deserve to be loved. We have obligations but also rights, don't be afraid to speak your mind, be kind to one another, don't let rage and despair blind you, stand together and take care each other.
> 
> XXOO
> 
> P.S. Thanks for keeping up with me and the story, if you wanna come and say or ask whatever's on your mind feel free to do so (I won't spoil you, don't worry).


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiii! :D

Steve is pretty sure that when they fell asleep the previous night he wasn’t the little spoon, but now, Bucky has his arm tossed haphazardly around Steve’s waist and his chest is pressed closely against Steve’s back. The blond doesn’t have any pillows under his head and he’s using his arm for support, which isn’t so unusual but it’s beginning to feel uncomfortable. 

He moves a bit, shifting his body forward trying not to disturb his sleeping boyfriend and fails miserably, Bucky grunts in response but Steve knows he isn’t completely awake yet, he tries to move again and his boyfriend wraps his arm around Steve’s waist tightly, and with that, he can tell that his boyfriend is more awake than he thought, but that’s not the only thing he notices.

Like this, Bucky’s body is completely pressed against his; Steve can feel Bucky’s warm breath on his neck, his chest on Steve’s back, their legs touching and Bucky’s erection rubbing against Steve’s ass.

_Yup, classic morning wood._

It isn’t Steve’s intention, _it totally is_ , but as soon as he shifts, he can feel his boyfriend’s shaft even more despite of all the layers of clothing they’re wearing. Steve starts to move again, this time with more determination, budging his lower body back and forth slowly.

Bucky still has his arm around Steve’s body and he begins to move his fingers as soon as he realizes what’s happening, tracing small circles on Steve’s abdomen under his shirt and around his navel while he concentrates on moving his hips to get some friction, the brunet’s fingers are cold as usual and they make Steve’s breath hitch. Steve’s skin is starting to feel warm, his cheeks blushed and his own dick twitching inside his pants, all thanks to Bucky’s hard cock rubbing against his ass meeting Steve’s movements, and his boyfriend’s lips tenderly kissing the back of his neck.

The moment is beginning to heat up by the second and he can tell that Bucky is feeling more aroused every time he draws out a shaky breath, Steve starts to rub his boyfriend’s arm softly, encouraging him to keep touching him, maybe even go a bit lower and down his pants, that until…

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

Steve huffs as soon as his phone starts to ring, he looks at the alarm clock on the nightstand and informs him it’s barely eight a.m. and his phone is nowhere to be seen, it’s still early on a Saturday morning, perhaps he can let it ring and pretend he was asleep and return the call later, but the phone won’t stop ringing, besides, let’s face it, this is Steve Rogers we’re talking about.

_Maybe it’s someone looking for help, don’t judge me._

He tries to stand up and Bucky holds him tightly, grunting at him without saying a word, he just complains with muffled sounds trying to keep Steve there in bed, “let me just see who it is, baby”, Steve whispers rubbing Bucky’s forearm soothingly, “I’ll get back at you right away, I swear”, he assures.

Bucky doesn’t say anything but he releases Steve’s waist slowly, the blond stands up quickly to search around for his cellphone, he notices the sound comes from the corner of his room where he left the jeans he was wearing the previous day, he finds the _damn_ thing a few seconds after and hurries to pick up when he sees Pepper is the one calling.

“Hi, Pepper”, he greets, “good morning”, Steve says hurriedly.

“Hello, Steve”, she answers, “I didn’t wake you, did I?” the woman worries.

“Oh, no”, he shakes his head even though she can’t see him, “don’t worry about it”, he clears his throat, “What can I do for you?” he wonders.

Steve hears some movement coming from the bed and turns his head over his shoulder to see what’s happening, Bucky’s staring at him under droopy eyelids, his hair is all over the place and he has marks on the side of his head from the pillow. He smiles warmly. Seeing his boyfriend like this, on his bed, is something he will never get tired of, the brunet just narrows his eyes at him grumpily, Steve chuckles covering the phone with his hand, “sorry”, he mouths. Bucky is speechless, he grunts again before he covers his entire head with the blankets, getting away from the outside world.

“Steve, are you there?” Pepper questions.

_Right!_

“Yeah, I’m here, sorry”, he says.

“I was just telling you that everything is ready for tonight”, the blonde informs.

“Perfect”, he hums, “thank you”, Steve adds.

“Oh no, thank you”, Pepper says, “also, I’m sending someone to pick you up, that way you don’t have to drive, where should I send the car?” she asks.

“Don’t worry about that, I can get myself there, call a cab or something”, Steve sighs.

“Nonsense, Steve”, she tsks her tongue, “besides, I wasn’t asking”, she giggles, “your house then?” Pepper wonders.

“Umm, I guess”, he hums.

“Great, the car will be there at eight sharp”, she announces, “Do you need to pick up your companion? I can inform the driver”, Pepper comments.

“That’s really nice of you but no, Bucky will be here by then, thank you”, Steve settles to say. No reason for anyone to know that he’s already there.

_With a boner, on my bed._

“Okay, I won’t keep you any longer”, she says, and for a second there Steve wonders if she has cameras around his house, “I’ll see you later this evening, Steve”, Pepper adds.

“Yeah, thank you again”, and with that Steve hangs up.

The fundraiser, Steve hasn’t forgot about it but having his boyfriend for the night along with the talk they had the day before kept his mind distracted. _Bucky loves me, how did that even happen?_ He wasn’t exactly thinking about the fact that his art is going to be, hopefully, auctioned and sold among the wealthy and rich, which makes his insides turn upside down and his knees go weak when he thinks about it, but right now he won’t let that ruin the moment, after all, he did say to his boyfriend he was going to get back to him.

***

Bucky can say from the bottom of his heart and soul that Steve never ceases to amaze him, and knowing that he’s not the only one trying to get into his boyfriend’s pants every time he can, makes him feel bubbly and blissful, the feeling is mutual.

Although, in that moment he’s trying not to get mad at him because he was the one that started teasing him and then stopped all the sudden, it isn’t Steve’s fault but having blue balls is not comfortable.

He tries to keep calm as he hears his boyfriend talking on the background, he uncovers his head when he starts to feel asphyxiated, he sighs deeply and waits _not so patiently_ for Steve to be back, but it seems like an eternity. Bucky contemplates for a moment about touching himself, get rid of his problem and move on, but Steve said he was coming back and he believes that.

Unfortunately, he’s drifting back to sleep since he didn’t get much rest the night before from all the happiness and excitement, Steve had said that he loves him back and Bucky can’t wrap his head around it.

_I am one lucky son of a bitch, don’t you think?_

Right now though, the bed is like a marshmallow under him, the pillows soft and the blankets keeping the cold away from his body, he puts his right arm over his eyes trying to cover the sunlight that peeks through the curtains. Steve’s voice is beginning to sound far away as his respiration starts to become even, his chest falling and rising slowly, his eyelids feel heavy and his mind at peace.

Then all of the sudden, his body yelps making him more awake than he was before, his skin is on fire and there’s a painful pressure inside his pants, he tries not to panic and thinks that he might be dreaming. He opens his eyes slowly and looks over to where Steve had been standing but he’s no longer there, he moves his eyes back to the bed, “Steve?” he asks right before a tiny moan escapes his mouth. There’s a big bulge inside the covers, Bucky lifts them to see what is happening and feels relieved and also a bit stupid for not noticing before.

_Definitely dreaming._

Steve is right there, his body spread between Bucky’s legs with his stomach against the mattress; he must have crawled back into bed without Bucky noticing, he’s currently kissing the brunet’s belly over his hoodie and nuzzling against the soft fabric, he has his right hand over Bucky’s half-hard erection which explains the pressure and the left one is rubbing his thigh, Bucky just wishes their clothes will disappear immediately.

His boyfriend stares up under his thick and long eyelashes looking more innocent than what he actually is, he has a grin plastered all over his face like he knows exactly what’s going to happen, maybe he even had everything planned out.

Bucky draws out a shaky breath as soon as he feels Steve’s hand moving the brunet’s hoodie up to the middle of his abdomen while he holds the blankets up to see what he’s doing. Steve’s hand is strong and warm against Bucky’s skin, rubbing his fingertips up and down his sides, the feeling on the thin line between tickling and sending goosebumps all over his body.

The covers are getting in the way so he tosses them out of the bed, Steve chuckles warmly and continues, “I did say I was coming back”, the blond whispers against Bucky’s skin. The brunet places one hand under his head to get a better view and the other is carefully located over Steve’s head, playing with his short soft hairs and brushing it away from his face.

He frowns and an embarrassing moan gets away from his throat as soon as Steve begins to give him open mouth kisses and licks all around his navel and down to his pelvic bone, sucking and marking along the sharpness of his hipbones while his hand keeps rubbing his aching erection over his pants.

Steve crawls his way up until he meets Bucky’s mouth, his right hand tracing Bucky’s cock and the left one supporting his weight, he lowers his head and Bucky cups his face between his hands. The blond puts his lips on Bucky’s, then a couple of tiny kisses along his jaw and down his neck, and back to his lips.

“I love you”, Steve whispers against his mouth.

Bucky would have answered, he wants to but as soon as the words leave Steve’s mouth he covers Bucky’s lips with his, a deep kiss in which Bucky starts to moan when his boyfriend’s hand wonders inside his pants, finally feeling the warmness of Steve’s hand on his skin, the pre-come making the contact more arousing and pleasurable.

He closes his eyes tightly and tilts his head back as a grunt escapes his mouth again, Steve lowers himself and kisses the center of Bucky’s abdomen, the brunet places one of his hands on Steve’s shoulder and the other one lays still over the mattress.

“I love you too”, Bucky sighs.

Steve gets his hand out of Bucky’s pants, the brunet whines at the lost of contact and Steve chuckles on the back of his throat. Bucky knows well by now that he loves to tease him, and to be honest, that’s one of the things that Bucky enjoys the most, the idea of not knowing what he’s planning to do next, and even though that patience is a virtue he lacks of, he doesn’t mind waiting for this.

“Take this off”, Steve pulls the hem of Bucky’s hoodie. The brunet gets rid of the _insulting_ piece of clothing as quick as possible and Steve does the same with his sweatshirt, the one that lands on the floor next to his.

His boyfriend moves his left leg between Bucky’s and starts to rub it up and down against his crotch; the brunet tries to shift his hips desperately searching for friction. Steve puts one of his firm hands in the middle of Bucky’s chest and pushes him down slowly but Bucky tries to bring him down with him, olacing his hands around the blond’s neck.

“Just relax, okay?” Steve instructs.

“I can’t”, Bucky shakes his head quickly, “touch me”, he demands.

“Hey, I’m here”, he soothes, “I’m yours, I’m not going anywhere”, he assures shaking his head. Steve pushes Bucky’s hair away from his face and leans forward to kiss his forehead, he looks at Bucky straight in the eyes and stays silent for a few seconds, “I love you”, he finally says.

For some reason, and maybe it’s just in Bucky’s mind but every time he hears those words coming out of Steve’s mouth, that confession he never expected to hear, or at least not any time soon, it keeps getting better, it feels even deeper, with more meaning.

In that moment, Bucky remembers his sister’s words, perhaps it isn’t the right time to think about his younger sister but he can’t help it, everything seems to be falling into place like he hoped it would. Right after Bucky explained to her the situation between Brock and him, she told him that a man like Brock wasn’t worth it, that someday, someone was going to look at him with a light in their eyes he’s never seen before, that they’ll look at him like he’s everything they’ve been looking for their entire lives, that he just needed to wait. At the end, he didn’t have to wait so long, he even feels like an idiot for not noticing before, because the look on Steve’s face, the light on his clear blue eyes, that’s the one Becky was talking about.

“I love you too”, Bucky nods.

***

Steve’s not sure what’s happening inside his boyfriend’s mind, but whatever it is, it feels so intimate and profound, those lazy gray-blue eyes staring right at his soul, like he knows exactly what’s happening inside Steve’s head. Hearing Bucky say that he loves him makes him feel like he’s dreaming, the circuits on his brain processing his boyfriend’s words, trying to make him understand that it’s real, as real as the man in front of him.

The same man that makes him feel full of bliss and joy, he thinks his heart could burst into flames like a firework from all the emotions it holds. Steve thought he knew what love is, to care about a person, to be there for them, to hold them and kiss them… but Bucky? He didn’t only show Steve that there’s more to it than that, he has taught him so much, not only about the world but also about himself.

He wasn’t expecting the situation to get so emotional again but even though they haven’t exchange much words, they’re there. Steve lowers his head and puts his lips on his boyfriend’s, just a chaste yet sweet kiss, not because he wants to feel the softness of his lips or his warm breath against his mouth, he kisses Bucky because he can’t think of any other way to fully express how he makes him feel, how perfect he is, perfect for Steve.

Bucky places his hands on Steve’s back and runs them up and down slowly, his fingernails softly scratching his skin while Steve moves his way down his boyfriend’s neck, kissing and licking every inch of his body. Steve stops by his nipples, flicking one with the tip of his tongue before he blows hot breath at it and then sucks it, the metal of his piercing slick on Steve’s mouth.

The brunet shivers under Steve’s touch, the tiny soft moans coming out of his mouth are like music to Steve’s ears, he concentrates on the other nipple until he’s satisfied, then he moves further south, leaving a long strip of saliva on his way down to Bucky’s navel. He hooks his index finger on the elastic band of Bucky’s pants along with his boxers and pulls down slowly, his mouth lingering right over Bucky’s shaft.

He shifts back a bit to get rid of his boyfriend’s pants and underwear, Bucky lifts his lower body right away to help him, then Steve takes back his place. He puts both of his hands on Bucky’s knees and drags them up until he reaches the base of his cock, he closes his hand around it and tugs it towards him twisting his wrist, Bucky sighs in return and his fist closes around the soft fabric of the sheets.

Steve lowers himself and starts kissing his boyfriend’s pelvic area, the inside of his thighs, around his shaft and everywhere but his dick. He shifts his hand up and down rubbing the brunet’s cock, and then he puts his lips around the tip and sucks it into his mouth. Bucky moans a bit louder and Steve continues with his duty, he licks the brunet’s cock from the base to the tip with the flat of his tongue before he puts it back in his mouth, taking inch by inch slowly and when he looks up he notices that his boyfriend is staring right at him with awe plastered all over his face.

“Oohh, Stevie”, Bucky whispers, “look at you, you’re gorgeous”, he grunts, “but not just because you have my dick in yo… holy shit…” the brunet moans letting his head fall on the pillow when Steve leans forward and shoves Bucky’s cock deeper inside his mouth.

He chuckles in the back of his throat at Bucky’s reaction and the brunet whimpers even more thanks to the vibrations, Steve bobs his head up and then a bit down, then all the way up to the tip and down until his nose is buried in the short hairs on the base of his boyfriend’s dick, he nuzzles against them moving his head from side to side.

Steve can feel Bucky’s hand at the top of his head almost pulling his hair, the brunet pushes his hips up a bit and Steve places one of his hands on Bucky’s belly to pin him down on the mattress, he isn’t shocking exactly since he doesn’t have a gag reflex after all, he just wants to take control of the situation and make his boyfriend feel good, at the moment it doesn’t matter that his pants feel tight with his own erection trapped inside his boxers.

“Shit…Steve”, the brunet hisses, “just like that”, he pleads.

When Steve moves his head up and down again Bucky moans louder, this time he does pull Steve’s hairs but then he tries to sooth them back in place, Steve releases his cock, and with his left hand, he takes Bucky’s wrist and puts it over his abdomen and then the same with the other.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to”, Bucky says.

“Don’t worry about it”, Steve clears his throat, “keep talking”, he adds before he returns to what he’s doing.

He tries to grab both of Bucky’s wrists with one hand keeping them pinned over the brunet’s stomach, Bucky doesn’t try to move or fight him and Steve takes it as a signal to keep pleasuring his boyfriend. Steve cups Bucky’s testicles with his free hand, gently massaging them with the tip of his fingers while he concentrates to suck his swollen cock.

“Fuuuuck”, his boyfriend grunts, “you’re so good at this”, Bucky whispers.

Bucky is getting close to his climax and Steve can feel it every time Bucky’s hard cock twitches inside his mouth, he moves his right hand to Bucky’s dick and closes it around it, alternating with sucking and pulling and then both, pursing his lips around the brunet’s cock and twisting his wrist while he moves his hand up and down picking up a faster pace.

“Steve…oh, fuck”, Bucky whines, “Imma cum… shit”, he moans, “don’t… don’t stop”, the man shakes his head.

It only takes a few more pulls to make his boyfriend reach his climax; his mouth is still around the tip of Bucky’s dick when he starts sending his seed down Steve’s throat. The brunet’s body shivers through his orgasm, his hands closed into fists as he moans loudly into the quiet room, his chest rising and falling rapidly until Steve let go of his cock with and obscene pop.

He frees Bucky’s hands and cleans with his thumb the couple of drops of Bucky’s semen that are falling down the corner of his mouth, then he brings his finger to his mouth and licks it clean with his tongue. He offers a tiny smile at his boyfriend, the one that is trying to come down from his orgasm, his hair is all over the place on the pillow, his eyes are half closed and a lazy but satisfied look on his face.

“You’re unbelievable”, Bucky sighs stretching his arms over his head.

***

“I just sucked you off, so yeah”, Steve shrugs his shoulder before he stands up, he’s clearly hard inside his pants and Bucky needs to do something about it.

“I’m not saying that just 'cause of the sex, it has nothing to do with it”, Bucky shakes his head, “but you do give amazing head”, Bucky giggles rubbing his stomach lazily.

“So romantic”, Steve chuckles, “you’re not so bad yourself”, he says.

“Speaking of which…” Bucky wiggles his eyebrows.

He stretches his right arm to reach for his boyfriend, Steve grabs his hand and brings it to his mouth, he kisses Bucky’s knuckles gently before he let it go, “it’s a good offer”, Steve hums before he pulls his pants down to free his gorgeous hard dick, the one that stands proudly against his belly, “but I have other things in mind”, he says and leans forward to open the little drawer on the nightstand and grabs one of the bottle of lube he keeps there.

“Yeah? Such as…” Bucky wonders.

Steve moves back to the bed and hunches forward to peck Bucky’s lips, “I want you”, he whispers against his mouth, “inside of me”, he adds, his breath hot on Bucky’s lips, just listening to those words makes his dick twitch again with excitement.

“Okay, yeah…” Bucky murmurs, “I can do that”, he nods quickly. Bucky fixes the pillows under his head while Steve positions back on the bed over him, his weight supported over his knees, he’s about to pour some of the clear liquid into his hand when Bucky grabs his hand to stop him, “let me”, he says.

“You sure?” Steve wonders.

“C’mon, Rogers”, he insists, “do you want me to beg?” Bucky lifts an eyebrow curiously.

“Well…” Steve hums; the apples of his cheek slightly blushed, “maybe some other time”, he says opening the lid of the bottle.

Bucky thinks about the idea for a second, begging Steve to let him do something, just picturing himself at Steve’s feet pleading and asking makes his insides burn and his dick completely hard. Steve has never said no to Bucky, what Bucky wants Bucky gets, but making him wait, surprising him with new things, trying stuff that Bucky has been dying to do, that’s a complete new field for them and he can’t wait to share them with this man he loves so much.

He returns from his day dreaming and holds his hand with his palm up for Steve to squeeze the lube in his fingers, the blond does as Bucky requested and then positions on top of him, Bucky is laying in between his legs and all he has to do is reach over his body and move his arm down to place his hand over Steve’s entrance.

The blond ducks down his upper body so his mouth is close to Bucky’s but his lower body is up in the air giving him the perfect opportunity to reach out and please his boyfriend.

“I love you, Steve”, he whispers, “I love you”, he repeats against his lips.

“I love you too, baby”, Steve kisses him, the tip of his tongue peeking inside Bucky’s mouth.

Steve draws out a shaky breath as soon as Bucky starts to circle his index finger around his tight hole, spreading the lube around his entrance to make him more relaxed. His boyfriend leans forward again, his weight supported on his hands, he puts his lips on Bucky’s and kisses him a couple of times with his mouth closed, then he parts his lips and licks Bucky’s bottom lip teasingly, piercing and all, before he shoves his tongue inside the brunet’s mouth.

Bucky places his left hand on the back of Steve’s neck to keep kissing him while his other hand is still working around his boyfriend’s entrance. He applies a small amount of pressure with his finger without pushing it inside just yet and Steve grunts against Bucky’s mouth.

“Do it”, Steve demands.

The brunet smiles at Steve’s determination and then starts to push his finger inside, his boyfriend flinches a bit but he nods his head to encourage him to keep going, Bucky pushes deeper until the second knuckle of his index finder is inside then out only to push back inside again. He adds a second finger in no time; he turns his head to the side and kisses the inside of Steve’s wrist as he stretches his boyfriend’s tight hole, his other hand rubbing the blond’s forearm soothingly.

By the time Bucky has a third finger inside, Steve is shivering over him, barely holding his weight with his hands and knees, his limbs are shaking, his eyes closed and his forehead creased, his teeth digging into his lower lip, breathing in and out of his nose quickly as his chest grows in and out. Steve’s dick is hard between his legs and already licking pre-cum into Bucky’s belly, the brunet just wants to lower his hand and reach for it.

“Stevie?” Bucky questions.

“Mmmm?” he hums quietly.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Bucky whispers.

“Mmhm, yeah”, he nods, “I’m ready”, he says.

“You sure?” Bucky questions.

“Yes”, Steve hisses when he moves forward.

Steve stretches his back and leans back after Bucky slides his fingers out, the brunet lays there and watches as his boyfriend steps back and turns around, he positions himself over Bucky with his legs folded at the knees. He looks back over his shoulder and pours some more lube into his fingers and rubs it around his entrance.

The blond takes Bucky’s hard cock with his hand and the brunet hitches at the warm contact, he guides it towards his hole and starts to move his lower body down, sitting down slowly taking inch by inch all of Bucky’s dick.

Bucky can’t believe what he’s seeing, it still feels surreal every time he has the opportunity to share such an intimate moment with Steve, the rawness of the skin to skin contact, the width of his penis stretching Steve’s entrance, the blond’s broad shoulders straight and the tattoo on his back in display. He frowns his eyebrows and concentrates to take a deep breath as he stares at the lonely drop of sweat that is falling down the middle of his boyfriend’s lower back, he just wants to lean forward and lick it off.

When Steve’s ass-cheeks are brushing Bucky’s pelvic area, the blond turns around and grabs Bucky’s hand to place it on his hip, Steve rubs his arm softly, “hold on”, Steve says with a teasing smile spread on his lips.

***

Steve takes a deep breath and lets out the air through his mouth slowly. Bucky’s dick feels amazing inside of him, it fits perfectly, Steve thinks in that moment that perhaps Bucky is for him and only him. He knows what Steve wants, what he needs, without him even talking, it’s something that still mesmerizes him in many ways.

His boyfriend shifts a bit under him, causing his dick to go in deeper, Steve closes his eyes and grunts on the back of his throat. Bucky’s hands are placed on each side of Steve’s hips holding on as he told him to, he can feel the brunet’s thumbs over the dimples of his lower back, he’s rubbing them in circles applying the perfect amount of pressure that sends goosebumps all over Steve’s body.

He starts to move up slowly, his abdomen tight to keep him balanced, his boyfriend’s dick moving deep inside of him when he sits back down, he puts his hands over Bucky’s and squeezes before he picks up a faster pace, he rolls his hips back and forth while he moans quietly, his lips pursed into a thin line and his heart racing fast inside his chest.

Bucky is moaning under him, Steve takes a peek back over his shoulder to notice that his boyfriend is staring right at his ass with a fascinated look on his face, he has his lip piercing trapped inside his mouth, his hair is disheveled and his chest sweaty.

Steve lets his head fall backwards, a deep and low moan escapes his mouth just in time when the head of his boyfriend’s cock hits his sweet spot, “Shit, just like that”, he nods.

“Oh, Steve”, Bucky whimpers, “you’re so fucking hot”, he hisses.

He chuckles at Bucky’s comment and continues to move a bit faster, this time Bucky pushes his hips upwards meeting Steve half way, it’s exactly what he needs to drive himself over the edge, it isn’t going to take long if he keeps going that way but he wants enjoy the moment for a bit longer, he knows he can if he pushes himself a bit more, even though his dick is already leaking pre-cum, begging him to put his hands around it and finish right then and there.

The blond leans forward and puts his palms in between his boyfriend’s legs, Bucky’s cock slides out of him smoothly and he winces a bit, he moves and turns around to face his boyfriend.

“Steve?” Bucky wonders.

“Sit down”, he says and Bucky frowns his eyebrows in confusion, “I want you close to me”, Steve smiles.

Bucky does as told and rests his back against the headboard of the bed, Steve crawls over him to position himself on top, the brunet reaches over to his cock and guides it towards Steve’s entrance, he starts to sit down to take his boyfriend inside of him again. Steve kisses his boyfriend’s rosy cheek, right under his micro-dermals and Bucky smiles at him sweetly.

“I love you”, he whispers, “I love you so much”, Bucky nods.

“Oh, fuck”, Steve grunts as soon as all of Bucky’s dick is inside, he puts his arms around his boyfriend’s neck for support, “I love you too”, he whispers into his ear.

Wishing that time could pass by slower, Steve sits there for a long minute with Bucky’s dick inside of him without moving, just letting his body accustom to the feeling, Bucky puts his arms around Steve’s torso and the blond holds him back, kissing the side of his neck, nibbling his earlobe and murmuring sweet things at him.

“Steve”, Bucky whimpers, “don’t leave me”, he says, “don’t ever leave me”, Bucky pleads.

He loosens his grip around his boyfriend’s neck and leans back, his eyebrows frown at the movement and a tiny moan escapes his mouth, he blinks a couple of times and stares back at the brunet’s eyes to really listen to him not just his soft and hypnotizing voice, his clear expression, deep eyes and dilated pupils. Steve places his palm over Bucky’s heart, the thumping strong against his hand, the words are sincere, an honest request, he swallows a big lump of saliva before he’s able to answer anything.

“I won’t”, he shakes his head slowly, “I’m here”, he pats Bucky’s chest, he takes Bucky’s right hand and places it over his heart to show Bucky what he’s feeling, “you’re here”, he nods.

Bucky leans forward and kisses him hungrily, Steve shuts his eyes tightly and melts against his boyfriend’s lips before he decides to start moving again, the feeling of being full is overwhelming, it makes him dizzy and he moans into the brunet’s mouth. His boyfriend lowers his hands and places them on Steve’s hips, his wrists moving at the rhythm of the blond’s pace, Steve places his hands on the sides of Bucky’s neck to anchor himself and starts riding his boyfriend’s cock, the one that moves deep inside of him every time he pushes himself up and then down to take it all inside.

Steve kisses the brunet’s sweaty forehead, his temples and his nose as he runs a hand through his damp hair to push it away from his face, he can feel his boyfriend’s eyes on him, he has his eyebrows frowned and Steve knows he’s fighting against himself not to moan loader, he just grunts on the back of his throat and squeezes Steve’s waist when the blond starts giving him kisses behind his ear.

“Baby”, Steve whispers, “you feel so good”, he says.

“Shit, Steve…” Bucky groans, “you’re so tight”, he adds.

Keeping a steady rhythm isn’t easy when his swollen dick is rubbing the skin of their stomachs, Steve feels desperate for touch and he wants to lower his hand and start stroking himself, but he doesn’t want to finish yet, at least not until Bucky is up there with him.

His boyfriend shifts under him and positions himself a bit straighter so that way Steve’s head is inches taller than his, the change of angle feels amazing, the tip of his boyfriend’s dick is hitting right where he needs it every time that Steve rolls his hips back and forth. That isn’t the only thing driving him crazy, the blood is rushing up to his head and down his cock when Bucky starts to kiss his jawline and his neck, licking a long strip in the middle of it and sucks his Adam’s apple gently.

“Hey, gorgeous”, he says, “careful there”, Steve closes his eyes, “I’m wearing a suit tonight”, he moans silently before he lets his head fall backwards, giving Bucky the perfect space to suck the marks that Steve doesn’t want to wear tonight.

“Oh, right”, Bucky giggles, Steve can feel his smile against his throat, he brunet moves along to the side and sucks the blond’s collarbone a bit harder, right above the artwork of his tattoo. _That one’s gonna leave a mark for sure_.

“Hey!” Steve whines.

“White collar, nobody will be able to see it”, Bucky whispers before he licks the spot he just marked and then moves to do the same on the other side, “mine”, he says and Steve nods.

“Yeah”, Steve sighs tiredly, still shifting his lower body up and down slowly.

Bucky looks up at him and moves his hands up Steve’s back sending goosebumps through his skin, he puts one hand over his chest and then flicks one of Steve’s nipples with two of his fingers slowly, the blond winces a bit and leans into the touch, Steve grabs Bucky’s hand and brings it to his mouth, he puts those same two fingers inside his mouth and closes his lips around them, licking them just like if they were his boyfriend’s cock.

The brunet stares at him stupefied, his eyebrows creased and his mouth slightly open, “Steve, I’m…” he chuckles awkwardly, “are you even close?” he grunts.

“Are you?” Steve asks teasingly, “I was just waiting”, he grunts.

“Holy shit, are you kidding?” Bucky huffs, “you have no idea”, he shakes his head rapidly.

“Fuck me”, he whispers to Bucky’s ear, “hard”, he demands.

“Say that again”, Bucky whimpers as Steve rolls his hips a bit faster, his boyfriend’s cock stretching him.

***

“Fuck me, James”, Steve says looking into Bucky’s eyes, they look so deep, his dark and dilated black pupils surrounded by a ring of clear blue, he feels like he can get so easily lost in them. Both of the blond’s hands are planted on each side of Bucky’s neck, the touch anchoring him into that moment.

Bucky sits there frozen looking at his boyfriend with wide eyes, it’s the way that Steve opens his mouth slowly to say Bucky’s name, the brunet swallows hard and lets out a shaky breath through his mouth. He’s sure that Steve has never called him by his first name, or at least not during sex, but for some reason it’s the hottest thing he could’ve said in that precise moment, it’s like he turned on a switch that Bucky didn’t even know he had, not just a request but a command, and he wants so desperately to obey.

“I love you”, Bucky whispers under his breath, almost like he’s talking to himself but he knows that Steve is going to be able to read his lips.

“I love you too”, Steve smiles before he leans forward and pecks the tip of Bucky’s nose.

Steve lifts his lower body slowly until Bucky’s cock is out of him; the blond winces and leans back, crawling backwards to the edge of the mattress, his weight supported on the heel of his hands and feet, he positions himself on the bed with his back flat against the rumpled sheets, his legs folded at the knees and spread open, one arm is placed meticulously under his head using it as a pillow and the other lays haphazardly over his stomach, his chest is rising up and down with air, his short hair disheveled and his forehead sweaty along with his blushed cheeks and neck.

He looks like a dream, something out of Bucky’s deepest desires, and he’s _so fucking_ happy he can call this man his.

_When did this happen?_

“Buck?” Steve wonders.

“Yeah?” he sighs deeply.

“That thing you were gonna do”, he lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Right”, he chuckles before he shakes his head to clear his sappy thoughts.

_Bucky Barnes is a sex god. Bucky Barnes doesn’t cry during sex._

_When the fuck did I become so emotional?_

The answer to all of his questions: the moment he laid eyes on Steve Rogers.

_The dreamy Steve fucking Rogers._

Bucky moves forward and crawls to where his boyfriend is resting, he positions himself between Steve’s legs where he fits perfectly, a spot that seems specially made for him, he puts his arms on each side of Steve’s head and the blond places his on the sides of Bucky’s torso, running them up and down soothingly. Steve’s cock is still hard and swollen between their bellies, rubbing with Bucky’s. He’s not sure how he does it to last so long without begging for mercy.

“I thought I lost you for a second there”, Steve whispers as he kisses the side of Bucky’s neck.

“Lost me? Never”, he shakes his head, “I was just thinking”, he says.

“That’s new”, Steve giggles. Bucky lowers his right hand between their abdomens; he reaches for Steve’s cock and curls his fingers around it to pull it towards him, Steve lets his mouth hang open, “fuuuuuck”, he hisses.

“I’m serious, Rogers”, Bucky places a few wet kisses on the center of Steve’s chest, the ink of his tattoo against his lips and his piercing warm on their skin while he continues to jerk off his boyfriend.

“Yeah, yeah”, he nods before a moan escapes his mouth, his fingernails are digging the back of Bucky’s forearms and the brunet calls it a success, “c’mon, Buck, fuck me”, Steve demands, his will of strength finally cracking a bit, Bucky is more than excited about it since he doesn’t know how much he’s going to last hearing Steve’s moans.

The brunet moves backwards and looks around the bed for the bottle of lube, it’s close to the edge opposite to them, he reaches for it and takes back his place between Steve’s legs. He pours a generous amount of the liquid into his dick and some more on Steve’s, he tosses the bottle to the side and Steve takes both of their cocks with one hand, rubbing them together, pulling up and down and Bucky shivers at the contact.

Bucky lowers his upper body to kiss his boyfriend, his lips are swollen and wet, he puts his right hand around the base of his cock when Steve lets it go, he guides it towards his boyfriend’s entrance and circles it around his hole before he starts to push inside slowly. Steve winces as Bucky’s cock begins to stretch him once more, his arms rested on the sides and his legs folded at the knees.

“Fuck”, the blond whispers under his breath, “keep going”, he nods.

He puts his hand on Steve’s hip and continues to push his penis inside of him, the feeling overwhelming as always, seeing his boyfriend under him, all sweaty and flushed and asking him for more, it’s something that he’ll never get tired to.

When his thighs are hitting the back of Steve’s legs and his dick is completely inside, Bucky takes a deep breath before he starts to pull out again, Steve lets out a soft grunt from the back of his throat and shifts to get more comfortable. Bucky pushes himself back inside slowly only to pull out again, he keeps moving like that for a few seconds to let his boyfriend accustom to the feeling, then he pulls out again and pushes inside a bit harder and faster, his legs slapping Steve’s, the obscene sound loud in the quiet room.

_There it is._

The pit of Bucky’s stomach feels hot as soon as he sees his boyfriend arching his back against the mattress, his eyes squeezed shut and his long eyelashes fanning out at the top of his cheeks, his hands closed into fists and his mouth hangs open letting out a deep silent moan into the warm air of the bedroom. Bucky has found Steve’s sweet spot, he just has to keep going like that for a couple of minutes to make Steve come all over himself, he needs to hold and please his boyfriend like he deserves.

Steve’s pace had been painfully slow before as he sat up and down on Bucky’s penis and the brunet is not sure how he’s lasted so long. His legs are beginning to cramp and his chest is growing in and out fast while his arms threaten to give up, feeling shaky and weak but he needs to last just a bit more, _for Steve_.

Once he finds what he’s looking for, it isn’t hard to keep thrusting towards that spot and luckily Steve’s shell is cracking inch by inch, moaning and grunting softly as he characteristically does. The blond’s exposed neck looks so tempting and Bucky wants to mark him, to let everyone know that this man is his, Bucky’s and nobody else’s, but Steve said earlier that he doesn’t want to sport those marks that night since it’s going to be an important evening for him so Bucky has to settle for kisses or put his teeth somewhere nobody else will be able to see.

He leans forward and puts his lips on his boyfriend’s cheek, “I love you”, he whispers, then he pecks his blushed neck, he kisses him with his mouth slightly open then licks his way down to his clavicles to suck the already bruised skin.

Steve moans in response as Bucky continues to roll his hips to thrust as deep as he can manage, his boyfriend hugs Bucky’s body with his legs and puts one hand on the brunet’s hip while the other is up on Bucky’s head, Steve closes his fist around Bucky’s hair, yanking it backwards slightly, making him toss his head back. The mixture of pleasure and pain is exactly what he needs to keep fucking his boyfriend faster, thrusting deeply as he can physically go, pushing himself over the edge until he can’t hold it any longer.

“Ste… Steve”, he moans, “like that, pull my hair”, Bucky encourages his boyfriend and the man does exactly that.

***

The blond releases Bucky’s damp hair and moves his hand down to Bucky’s back and to his ass, he gently squeezes his round ass-cheek as a deep grunt leaves his throat while his hands move in sink with Bucky’s thrusts and pulls him towards him.

“Shit, Buck”, he cries, “I’m there, I swear”, the blond chuckles desperately, “just…” he grunts.

Bucky leans back again, resting his weight on his heels, rolling his hips to push his cock inside of Steve, the head of his penis hitting exactly where Steve needs; the brunet lowers his hand and starts stroking Steve’s dick fast, pulling at the same time he continues to stretch his hole. Steve’s toes curl and he’s finally coming in seconds, long strips of his own seed shooting up to his chest, his knuckles white and fingernails digging the inside of his hands, his back arched with his head tossed backwards, droplets of sweat running down his temples and neck, his eyes roll to the back of his head while his mouth hangs open letting out a silent moan.

He starts to pant for air as soon as he’s coming down from his high, he opens his eyes slowly right on time when Bucky starts to shiver over him, the blond places his hand on Bucky’s nape and pulls him down, smearing his semen and sweat all over their chests, not like they care in that moment anyway, his boyfriend trembles against him and Steve holds him tightly close to him, the blond’s ass flinching around Bucky’s cock as he comes inside of Steve, he moans loudly into Steve’s ear while Steve tries to blink away the white spots from his vision.

Time passes and they are still in the same position in bed, Steve’s legs are wrapped around Bucky’s body, his hands running up and down his body while the brunet rests the side of his head over Steve’s chest, Steve kisses the top of his boyfriend’s head, “you alive?” Steve wonders.

“No, you killed me”, Bucky sighs.

“Oh, I’m sorry”, Steve says with a giggle.

“I’m not”, he chuckles.

Bucky leans back slowly and then he pulls himself out of Steve, the blond winces but he doesn’t move from his position, his boyfriend just rolls to the side and lands with his back down right next to Steve, he turns his head to the side to stare at him.

“Good morning”, Steve says with a cheeky smile.

“More like wood morning, am I right?” Bucky chuckles, his smile bright and the corners of his eyes wrinkled.

“Yeah”, Steve nods.

The brunet turns to the side and reaches for Steve’s mouth to kiss him softly, Steve melts against his lips cupping his boyfriend’s face with his hand, and apparently Steve’s dick hasn’t finish yet, he feels it twitch as soon as Bucky sucks Steve’s lower lip into his mouth. Steve doesn’t say anything about the matter, his cock just keeps hardening against his stomach again while he continues to make out with his boyfriend for a couple of minutes, their heads turning and tongues swirling around each other’s while Steve cards his fingers through Bucky’s long hair.

Bucky licks his lips and leans back with a hum, “can we just stay here for the rest of the day?” he says.

Steve let out a long sigh and prompts his upper body on his elbows, “yeah, you do that”, he offers a small smile.

Bucky looks tired and zoned out, he isn’t going to insist about another round of sex, Steve figures there’s nothing wrong with letting his boyfriend go back to sleep while he gets into the shower to take care of the problem between his legs. The blond gives Bucky a kiss in the forehead before he decides to stand up, he stands with his back to the bed and takes a deep breath, he places his hands over his lower back and arches his body to pop his muscles back into place, his spine cracking as he shakes his head from side to side.

He almost yelps when he feels Bucky poking one of his ass-cheeks teasingly and he looks back over his shoulder, “where are you going?” Bucky wonders, pouting his lower lip at him.

“Shower”, Steve answers plainly as he starts walking towards the bathroom.

“Steeeeeeeeve!” Bucky whines behind him.

“Go back to sleep, Buck”, he chuckles.

The man doesn’t bother with closing the door, he looks around the shelves for the bottle of lube he keeps in there, he can just jerk off and get over the situation, shower and then go back to his boyfriend, _no big deal_. Steve finds what he’s looking for and places the bottle on the corner of the bathtub before he starts to set the water spray, he moves inside when the temperature is cold enough for him to bare and lets out a tired sigh as the droplets of water begin to run down his body, washing away the mixture of their body fluids.

Steve turns around to face the water spray; he stands there with his head down letting his body accustom to the temperature, he closes his eyes and passes his hands through his wet hair, wishing his erection will just go away quickly so he doesn’t have to deal with it. He’s about to move around to reach for the lube when a sudden cold air rushes into the shower; it’s Bucky who moved the bath curtain to the side to step inside with him.

“Fuuuuck”, he hisses, “the water is fucking cold, are you even human?” Bucky shivers putting his hands around his body for warmth.

“Stay cold, Trapped Under Ice, get it?” Steve wiggles his eyebrows and Bucky narrows his eyes in return, “like the band?” he offers a cheeky smile.

“I get it, Rogers”, he says bitterly, “but no”, Bucky shakes his head trying to sound annoyed but Steve can tell he’s fighting not to laugh.

“Sorry”, Steve gives him an apologetic smile before he fixes the temperature and closes the pressure a bit to be more suitable for his boyfriend.

He puts his arms around Bucky and pulls him towards him and down the water spray; Bucky tucks himself under Steve’s chin to be embraced into the hug, “you left me there”, Bucky whispers, “alone”, he huffs.

“I didn’t left you alone”, he leans back, the water falling down his back as he stares at his boyfriend, he cups Bucky’s face after he locks the wet strands of hair behind his ear, “I was not even ten feet away”, he smirks.

“Yeah, but…” Bucky shifts to the side a couple of inches; his leg is brushing against Steve’s erection and the blond flinches in surprise, his boyfriend looks down and then back up quickly, “Steve”, he narrows his eyes at him.

“Bucky”, he mocks his boyfriend’s tone.

“You’re not done yet”, Bucky sounds a bit angry, the brunet takes a step back to look down at Steve’s hard cock and Steve just wants to crawl down the bathroom rug.

“I’m sorry, don’t be mad, it’s not like I can help it”, Steve shakes his head.

“You’re such an idiot, don’t be sorry”, Bucky chuckles, “I’m not mad, maybe a little because I didn’t notice before”, he says, “Why didn’t you say anything?” Bucky questions leaning down to grab the battle of lube he must have spotted when he stepped into the shower.

“It’s not important, Buck”, Steve hurries, “you looked so tired, I just didn’t wanna bothe…” Steve gets cut off by Bucky’s mouth as soon as the brunet covers Steve’s lips with his, kissing him hungrily under the water spray.

“I might not be eighteen anymore but I’m not ninety either”, Bucky chuckles warmly.

Bucky lowers his hand until he finds Steve’s erection and closes his fingers around it, Steve grunts at the contact and puts both of his hands on each side of Bucky’s neck, massaging the back of his head with his fingertips and his thumbs brushing his jawline.

***

“You don’t have to…” Steve hisses as Bucky continues to stroke him, the water falling down their bodies, “do this, you know?” Steve adds.

How can Steve be so clueless sometimes? Bucky is not sure.

“It’s not fair”, Bucky whispers against his boyfriend’s mouth.

“It’s not about being fair, Buck”, Steve moans silently, his eyebrows frowned and mouth slightly open.

“Stop it, Rogers”, Bucky demands squeezing Steve’s cock with his hand, “would you just enjoy this?” he asks, but it sounds like a command.

“O-okay”, Steve nods, “but the water...” he starts and Bucky narrows his eyes at him again, threatening to stop what he’s doing, the brunet leans to the side and turns off the water spray and Steve claps his lips together right away and stops protesting.

Steve is definitely desperate for pleasure and Bucky knows exactly what to do, something he’s well aware that his boyfriend enjoys more than he likes to admit, a way that will have Steve coming undone and quick.

 _Blowjobs_.

The brunet ducks down until he reaches the floor and kneels in front of his boyfriend, Steve opens his eyes wide like he knows exactly what’s next, he opens his mouth again, probably to whine, but as soon as Bucky leans forward and gives a few wet kisses to the tip of the blond’s cock, his mouth closes.

His boyfriend has his back to the water spray, the brunet takes a better position and rests his body on his folded legs rather than only on his knees, his left hand is going up and down rubbing the side of Steve’s thigh while the other is up on his abdomen circling his fingers around his navel, the leftover water droplets running down smoothly on Steve’s skin.

Bucky pecks the area around Steve’s dick, then sucks one of his testicles inside his mouth and his boyfriend shivers in return, he continues to stroke Steve’s dick with what’s left of the lube on his hand until it feels a bit slicker despite the water that had diluted the substance. He opens the bottle of lube again and pours some more of the liquid into his fingers only to reach back and put them around Steve’s entrance, he’s still a bit lose but Bucky takes his time anyway, not wanting to risk it and hurt his boyfriend.

When a third finger is inside, while he continues to stroke Steve’s cock with his other hand, Steve parts his legs a bit more to give Bucky some space, his boyfriend has been standing with his hands on the sides awkwardly and Bucky can feel his eyes on him. Bucky puts his lips on the base of Steve’s dick and licks a long strip until he reaches the tip and then sucks the head into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and ignoring the synthetic taste of the lube on his tongue.

Steve’s soft moans echo in the bathroom walls until he puts his left hand over his mouth to muffle his cries, Bucky wants to tell him not to do that, that he wants to hear him but his own mouth is currently occupied. Bucky pulls his fingers out of Steve’s ass only to switch hands, putting two of his digits from his left hand and the right one squeezing the blond’s hip.

His mouth sucks more of his boyfriend’s cock, pursing his lips tightly around it, taking inch by inch slowly and then moving his head back up, when his jaw finally feels lose enough and he isn’t struggling to put more of Steve’s cock inside his mouth, he looks up to stare at Steve. His boyfriend’s eyes are open wide staring down at him, one of his hand is still over his mouth and the other rubbing his belly, scrubbing his body with the remains of the warm water.

Bucky is glad that his skin is flushed and that his body feels hot because the last thing he wants is to catch a cold, Steve doesn’t seem to mind being damp either, after all, they can take that shower after they finish. He puts his concentration back into pleasing his boyfriend and opens his mouth wide to take Steve’s cock back, slurping his own saliva as he sucks it deeper inside until the tip reaches the back of his throat carefully trying not to gag.

“Oh, fuuuuck”, Steve grunts, “Bucky”, he hisses.

He looks up at his boyfriend and then bobs his head up and down without losing eye contact with him, the blond’s eyebrows frown together and a deep moan leaves his throat. Bucky twists his left hand a bit, his fingers still working inside his boyfriend’s tight hole and the blond flinches in return, he moves his other hand to the side reaching for Steve’s, he grabs Steve’s wrist and guides his arm towards his head and places his hand on top of it.

Steve brushes away Bucky’s hair, gently running his fingers through the wet strands, Bucky hums as he continues to lick his boyfriend’s cock like his life depends on it, his fingers pushing in and out of his asshole while Steve struggles to stay quiet.

Bucky knows that Steve is holding back, his hand feels stiff on top of Bucky’s head, and even though his knees are a bit shaky, his feet are firmly planted on the bathtub floor, and the only thing that Bucky wants is to make him feel good. Bucky doesn’t know why Steve didn’t mention anything earlier, he just walked away with his aching erection between his legs and got inside the bathroom, the brunet isn’t sure if he did something wrong or what, he was indeed tired but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have done that little favor for his boyfriend, after all, Steve always takes care of him, he always comes first and that’s the way Steve likes to do things, Bucky’s nobody to say no since he enjoys being spoiled but like he said, it’s not fair.

***

Looking at Bucky right in the eyes with Steve’s dick inside his mouth, but not only that, his fingers inside of Steve brushing the spot that drives him crazy, Steve’s sure he’s losing his mind.

He wants to push his dick inside his boyfriend’s mouth like he has done in several occasions before, and even at Bucky’s request, but in that moment, for some reason it feels like he’s taking advantage of him. Bucky looks lost in the moment and concentrated on what he’s doing, but Steve doesn’t want to make him feel bad by giving the impression that he isn’t enjoying it.

Steve shakes his head pushing away his thoughts and tries to pay attention to his boyfriend, he moves his right leg and puts it up on the edge of the tub, the change of angle gives Bucky the room he needs to push his fingers even deeper inside of him.

“Shit, baby”, he hisses, “right there”, Steve says.

The brunet places Steve’s hand over his head and Steve doesn’t want to move it at all, he brushes Bucky’s hair awkwardly as he continues to suck his dick. But then, Bucky puts his hand over Steve’s and pushes down, taking Steve’s cock deep inside his mouth.

“Bucky, babe”, Steve moans, “what are you…” he chokes when Bucky continues to suck his penis, “…doing?” he sighs.

_What kind of question is that, Rogers?_

_He is clearly sucking your dick._

_WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!_

His boyfriend looks up with the head of Steve’s cock still inside his mouth, the width of his dick stretching the brunet’s lips, his eyes are open wide, his micro-dermals bright against his blushed and hollowed cheeks. He pulls his fingers out of Steve’s ass causing him to wince and places both of his hands on the side of Steve’s thighs. Bucky is there staring up at him without saying anything, a hopeful and innocent look on his face, like if he isn’t the one sucking Steve’s cock, but not only that, he’s asking for something.

“Do you want me to…” Steve swallows a big lump of saliva that is gathering inside his mouth, “fuck your mouth?” he wonders.

Bucky nods slowly, the tip of Steve’s cock inside his mouth and the blond just wants to get on his knees and hug him, tell him how much he loves him and never let him go because no, he doesn’t deserve this man.

“Use your words, baby”, Steve says cupping Bucky’s face with one of his hands, “do you want me to fuck your mouth?” he questions again, this time with more certain.

The brunet let go of Steve’s dick, he squeezes Steve’s thighs and nods again, “yes, please”, he softly, just above a whisper.

_Holy shit._

Steve could’ve come right there, it’s something in Bucky’s eyes, he shouldn’t look the way he does, like Steve just asked him if he wants his favorite food, like he needs to suck Steve’s penis. There’s much more meaning behind that simple plead, Bucky wants to make Steve feel good, he’s asking if Steve is going to let him.

_What’s wrong with me?_

_You obviously want this._

_GET. YOUR. SHIT. TOGETHER. ROGERS!_

He needs to get down from his cloud and take back control of the situation; a few minutes ago everything was fine but right now Bucky is there on his knees pleading him. Steve clears his throat and rolls his shoulders backwards to look down at Bucky with purpose and determination.

“What was that?” Steve questions raising his eyebrows.

His boyfriend looks small and innocent, it makes Steve regret his attitude for a second, he would’ve felt bad but the tiny smirk on the corner of Bucky’s mouth makes him realize that his boyfriend is enjoying it too, “can you fuck my mouth, please?” Bucky questions.

“That’s what you want, huh?” he hums teasingly, “open”, Steve demands running his thumb over his boyfriend’s lips, Bucky nods quickly and does as told without hesitation.

Steve curls his fingers around the base of his cock and guides it towards Bucky’s mouth, the brunet closes his mouth around it and waits patiently looking up at Steve. He starts to push himself slowly inside his boyfriend’s mouth while Bucky stays on his knees in front of him, running his hands up and down Steve’s thighs soothingly.

When the tip of Steve’s dick hits the back of his boyfriend’s throat, the brunet flinches a bit almost gagging and Steve is about to pull out when the brunet grabs Steve’s hand and places it over his head again. He takes a deep breath and pulls his dick out of his boyfriend’s wet mouth only to push inside again, this time holding Bucky’s head in place, Bucky moans against Steve’s hard dick and he grunts in return.

Bucky continues to suck Steve’s cock cheerfully while Steve looks down at him amazed and blissful, his skin is on fire and the water from the shower has already mixed with his sweat. Bucky moves his hand back down to Steve’s ass again, he gently squeezes one of his buttocks before he reaches his asshole and pushes two of his fingers inside, stretching him once more, scissoring his digits to open him.

When Bucky decides to twist his fingers and curls them to push them deeper, Steve leans forward and supports his weight with his left hand planted on the cold tile of the wall, the other hand fisted on Bucky’s long hair. The brunet’s mouth is warm and wet and it’s exactly what Steve needs, the blond looks down at his boyfriend and hisses again as soon as he notices that Bucky is stroking himself, moving his hand up and down quickly pulling at his own erection.

“Ohh, baby”, he moans, “you feel so good”, he says, “I…shit”, the blond squeezes his eyes shut, “I love you, I love you so much”, he whispers.

His boyfriend hums, the vibrations feel amazing against Steve’s cock while he continues to slurp on it like he’s sucking on ice cream, he even looks like he’s enjoying every second of it, just like Steve is. Steve begins to feel the pit of his stomach hot and his legs turn to jelly, his blush deepens from his neck all the way up to his damp forehead.

“Bucky, I…”, he shivers, “I’m gonna… come”, he moans deeply, letting his head fall forward, his eyes closed and his mouth open.

He loosens his grip around Bucky’s hair and soothes it back before he tries to pull his cock out of the brunet’s mouth but Bucky doesn’t let him, he stays there with his mouth wide open, his tongue wet and slick against Steve’s penis. The blond ends up shooting his semen inside Bucky’s mouth as he holds himself against the wall, the tip of his boyfriend’s fingers hitting Steve’s prostate at the right time, making him finish hard and fast.

Coming down from his orgasm might have taken longer than he expected, he isn’t sure how much time had passed but his brain is still buzzing when he opens his eyes, the corners of his view are blurry and his chest is growing in and out rapidly panting for air, almost in the verge of wheezing.

_I’m not having an asthma attack now._

He tries to clear his mind while he concentrates to take longer breaths, the cold air going inside his nose and into his lungs and out of his mouth slowly. Bucky has already released Steve’s dick and when he retrieves his fingers out of Steve’s asshole, the blonde winces in return.

Steve looks down at Bucky and feels guilty right away, he had completely forgotten about the fact that his boyfriend is jerking off his own erection, by the look on Bucky’s face, he’s close. He ducks immediately and kneels in front of Bucky, he leans forward and kisses the brunet’s forehead, then his nose and cheek, right there on the bathtub floor, it doesn’t matter that Steve’s skin is clammy and his knees ache, he just wants to hold his boyfriend.

“Hey, handsome”, he purrs.

“Steve, I…” Bucky cries, his hand still working on his dick.

“Here, let me”, Steve says.

The brunet puts his hands on each side of Steve’s neck when the blond fists his erection, Steve working on long strokes twisting his wrist going up and down fast, Bucky puts his lips on Steve’s hungrily and he can taste himself on his boyfriend’s mouth, not like he cares anyway, he just keeps jerking him off quickly.

“Holy shit, like that”, Bucky frowns his eyebrows, “don’t stop, plea… please”, he gasps with a cry.

***

Steve holds him again as Bucky buzzes and shivers while he moans into the blond’s ear, his seed covering his boyfriend’s fingers in seconds, his fingernails digging and scratching Steve’s back, gasping heavily until he’s able to speak again.

“At this pace, you’re gonna leave me dry”, he chuckles into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck.

“Oh, c’mon!” Steve huffs.

“I’m not complaining”, Bucky giggles. His boyfriend stands up and stretches his back, he looks down at him and Bucky gives him a tired smile, “sooooo, was that any good?” Bucky says.

“You have no idea”, Steve laughs, “stand up”, he looks down at Bucky offering his hand.

The brunet takes Steve’s hand but doesn’t make an effort to move, “can’t, I don’t feel my legs”, he whines.

His boyfriend hunches down and hooks his hands under Bucky’s armpits to pull him up to help him stand; Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s neck as the blond holds him closely. The couple manages to get clean and fresh without getting a hard-on again, but making out under the hot water while they rub their bodies with soap isn’t discarded. The bathroom is filled with steam in no time as they scrub their sweaty skin, Bucky is sure he hasn’t felt this relaxed and peaceful in a long time.

Their bath comes to an end way earlier to Bucky’s liking but it doesn’t matter that much since he’s going to be spending the whole day with his boyfriend before they go to the Fundraiser, where he’s going to be ignoring Tony’s shameless innuendoes towards Steve and eating as much free food as he can.

Clean and naked, they walk out of the bathroom, Bucky moves behind Steve staring at his back, he gets closer to him and runs his hand along his broad shoulders, “I’m sorry”, he whispers.

“What? Why?” Steve frowns his eyebrows looking back over his shoulder.

“I think I scratched you way too hard”, he says rubbing Steve’s back with his fingertips gently, the red scrapes from his shoulder blades and down his lower back contrasting with his pale white skin.

“It doesn’t hurt”, he shakes his head, “besides, you know what it means”, the blond giggles his eyebrows.

“What?” Bucky questions curiously.

“It means I did something right”, he winks at him and Bucky starts laughing out loud.

“Yes, I’m so in love with you”, Bucky wipes away the happy tears gathering in the corner of his eyes.

“I love you too”, Steve leans forward and kisses Bucky’s forehead before he turns around and moves towards the dresser.

They put on some cozy clothes to lounge around in; Steve strips the bed from the dirty sheets and picks their abandoned clothes from the floor, “what do you say if you fix the bed and I go down to make us some breakfast”, Steve offers.

“Sure”, Bucky nods before he leans forward and places a kiss on the corner of Steve’s mouth, the blond smiles at him and turns around to walk downstairs with the dirty fabrics in hand.

Bucky is left in the room alone, he grabs some clean sheets from the closet and fixes them over the mattress, he can hear Steve muffled voice downstairs and Bucky looks over the nightstand on Steve’s side to notice that his cellphone is still there, the brunet wonders who is he talking to until he hears a loud bark. A wide smile spreads on his lips as he feels the joy and happiness taking over his body and mind.

_Who would’ve imagined this was going to become my life?_

Bucky trots to the lower floor when he’s finished and is received by a mixture of smells and noises, Captain is by his feet in no time asking for attention and he ducks down to pet him, his golden fur soft against his fingers. Steve has put on a record under the needle, Trapped Under Ice, Bucky recognizes, he giggles when he remembers Steve’s comment when he got inside the shower.

What catches most of Bucky’s attention is the smells, breakfast food is Bucky’s favorite, _hands down_ , and made by Steve is even better, the blond is by the stove pouring something that looks like pancake mix into a pan, he’s humming at the rhythm of the music, shaking his head up and down enthusiastically, Bucky smiles and sighs before he starts walking again.

“I didn’t know what you wanted”, Steve says when he notices Bucky entering the kitchen, “so I made pancakes and eggs and bacon, there’s also toast”, Steve points at the counter where a pile of perfectly stacked pancakes sit over a plate, “and to drink there’s milk, juice, coffee, tea”, he offers, “if you don’t want any of that I can make something else”, he nods quickly.

“Steve, relax”, he says reaching for a strip of bacon, “this is fine”, he puts the greasy food inside his mouth to give it a bite, “more than fine, actually”, he mumbles, “what’s with you? I’ve eaten here several times, you know I like your food”, he chuckles.

“Nothing, I just want to please my boyfriend, can I?” he wonders.

Bucky narrows his eyes at him in question, he stares at Steve for a couple of seconds until the blond breaks eye contact and turns around, Bucky frowns but he doesn’t say anything, he follows Steve and wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s small waist, “of course you can”, Bucky says kissing the back of Steve’s neck, “can we eat now then?” he questions.

“Yeah”, his boyfriend nods.

He reaches to the side and grabs the silverware to set the table, he puts down the plates and then some glasses, Steve moves the food to the middle of the table and sits down on his chair, Bucky serves himself a bit of everything, or perhaps more than a bit, and starts to eat right away and stops all the sudden when he feels his boyfriend’s stare digging holes on the side of his face.

“What?” he asks with his mouth full of food.

“Somebody is hungry”, he lifts an eyebrow at him, “are you even breathing?” Steve chuckles.

“Yeah”, he nods quickly, “I told you, your food is good”, Bucky says.

“Thank you”, he smiles, “but can you swallow before you speak?” Steve giggles.

Bucky chews the rest of his food and does as Steve said, “oh, you know I can swallow”, he winks at him.

“OH MY GOD!” Steve opens his eyes wide before he starts shocking with his own saliva, Bucky smiles proudly when Steve begins to cough, his cheeks blushed a deep shade of red.

“Besides…” Bucky starts before he puts a big piece of pancake on his mouth, “this disgusts you, or what?” he says before he opens his mouth and shows his boyfriend the chewed food inside his mouth.

“Ewww, so classy”, Steve scrunches his nose.

“You love me anyway”, Bucky bats his eyelashes at him.

“Yeah”, the blond sighs, “I love you”, he smiles.

***

Steve’s attitude changed and he doesn’t even know why, the shower and cooking did relax him a bit. He heard Bucky singing upstairs and a feeling of remorse flooded his body, he doesn’t regret anything he said, he does love Bucky with all his heart and he believes the feeling is mutual, maybe is only self-reproach or self-deprecation as usual, the weird thing is he hasn’t felt like that in a long time, or perhaps it’s just the nerves and jitters screaming in the back of his brain, all thanks to the Fundraiser.

Food is over quickly after they served themselves a second plate, dishes are cleaned and the leftovers put away, the record player had stop playing and they decide to put on some jackets to go outside and take a walk.

He doesn’t mention any of his anxiety issues to Bucky but he knows that his boyfriend suspects something, Bucky is the one that suggested the walk and Steve is grateful for it. The houses on Steve’s neighborhood are decorated with Christmas lights and even though the sun is shining above them the day is cold, but everything else seems cheerful: the kids throwing snowballs at each other and playing with their slides, people going on vacations and families enjoying the holiday break. The dog tags along with them and Captain seems happier than ever, but not happier than Steve is while he walks next to his beloved Bucky, his gloved hand grounding Steve into the moment, his smile big and sweet and his eyes open staring back at Steve’s.

When they come back, they’re giggling and chuckling as they walk through the door, Captain wiggles his tail cheerfully trotting towards his bowl of water, the couple get rid of their outwear and hang them on the coat rack behind the door while their rosy cheeks and cold noses accustom to the warm weather. Steve moves to the kitchen to fix a cup of tea while Bucky decides what movie to put on.

“Hey, did I tell you that Pepper is gonna send someone to pick us up?” Steve yells from inside the kitchen.

“Oh, really?” he hears Bucky respond, “that’s cool”, the brunet says, Steve turns around to see him standing by the doorframe.

“Yeah, I mean, I tried to convince her not to but…” Steve shrugs his shoulder.

“Of course you did”, Bucky smirks, “how about this one?” he lifts the blue-ray box.

_Again, Nightmare Before Christmas, obviously._

“Sure”, Steve nods smiling, “let me just finish this”, he says pointing at the cups on top of the counter.

Soon enough, their drinks are finally steaming hot on the table in the middle of the living room along with a plate of cookies, the ones that Bucky has already begun eating before the movie is even on. Bucky is sitting on the couch with his legs folded to the side and his arm stretched over the backrest, Steve leans against him when his back is planted on the cushions, Bucky starts playing with the short hairs on Steve’s nape.

“So, about tonight…” Bucky starts, “how are you feeling?” he wonders.

“I’m a bit anxious, I’m not gonna lie”, he sighs heavily looking down at his hands.

“It’s normal, there’s nothing wrong with that”, Bucky says.

“Yeah, but…” he purses his lips into a thin line, “what if they hate it?” he asks.

“Hate what?” Bucky frowns.

“The pieces… my artwork”, he shrugs his shoulders, “I mean, I think I’m good, but what if it’s not what they expect?” he wonders.

“Well, then they’re idiots”, Bucky says with determination and that makes Steve smirk for a second, “your art is amazing”, he opens his eyes wide extending his left arm and places his hand over Steve’s thigh.

“This is different, you haven’t seen it”, Steve puts his hand over Bucky’s and squeezes it.

“Yeah, either way, I just know it”, he winks.

“Remind me why I’m doing this again?” Steve chuckles.

“Because it’s for a good cause, you’re nice like that”, Bucky leans forward and kisses Steve’s cheek.

“I’m surprised I haven’t puked”, Steve comments, “when I was back in school, I always got sick around finals, and I had at least one asthma attack every semester, fun times”, he laughs bitterly.

“No, not fun”, the brunet shakes his head, “it’s gonna be fine, don’t worry so much”, Bucky moves his hand, gently massaging the back of Steve’s neck.

“Thanks”, Steve smiles melting into de touch.

“No problem”, Bucky smirks, “I mean, I’ve heard your pieces are amazing”, the brunet comments.

“You have?” Steve asks in surprise.

“It’s all they talk about at the office”, Bucky chuckles.

“Really? Because I specifically told them to…” Steve frowns but Bucky shakes his head.

“Pepper mentioned something about you wanting them to be a surprise”, he nods, “I don’t know anything other than that”, he chuckles.

“Aren’t you saying that just ‘cause?” Steve whispers feeling more nervous than he was before, perhaps Bucky had already seen Steve’s pieces and here he is sounding like an idiot.

“No, cross my heart I haven’t seen anything”, Bucky states drawing a ‘X’ over his chest, “Tony almost spoiled it but Bruce stopped him, I told him I didn’t wanna know”, he explains.

“I’ll have to thank Bruce later then”, Steve says, “I mean, it’s not a big deal, it’s just…” he huffs looking down at their hands.

“What is it?” Bucky wonders squeezing Steve’s hand.

“I wanna see your face when you see them for the first time”, Steve blushes slightly, “words are important, but for me, an expression can say a lot more, is that weird?” Steve questions and Bucky shakes his head slowly, his eyes staring mindfully at him, “it’s something silly, I know”, Steve says.

“It’s not silly if it’s important to you”, Bucky leans forward and pecks Steve’s lips.

Steve moves his right hand up and cups Bucky’s face carefully, his thumb brushing along the brunet’s sharp jawline as his boyfriend leans into the touch. Bucky parts his lips a bit; his piercing is cold and his lips dry but Steve knows well he can do something about that. He plants a couple of kisses on his boyfriend’s lips before he decides to push the tip his tongue inside, the brunet opens his mouth following Steve’s movements and he sucks his boyfriend’s piercing, licking his lower lip while he keeps kissing him until they’re out of breath. They part giggling and lean back on the couch to rest, Steve pats the empty space on the couch to his right and Captain comes right away, his four-legged friend jumps in and settles next to him.

Steve grabs the remote and pushes the play button to start the movie, this is one of Steve’s favorite films, the animation is beautiful and it’s the perfect combination of Halloween and Christmas which happens to be the holidays he enjoys the most. Bucky gets exited and sings through out the whole movie while Steve whispers the dialogues, just like the first time they watched it. Steve leans to the side and rests his head on Bucky’s shoulder, his boyfriend turns his head and kisses Steve’s forehead sweetly, Steve sighs happily and settles to watch the rest of the movie.

***

After the movie ends, Steve seems more at peace and Bucky is happy about it, seeing his boyfriend so worried and unsettled makes him want to punch something, but after all, Bucky understands it’s normal, it’s something important for him and he can’t change the way Steve is, _not like I want to_. In the other hand, Bucky must confess that he’s dying to know what Steve wants to keep so under the covers, a surprise just for him.

Bucky decides to put on another movie, Gremlins, but Steve says he needs to do some things; the blond goes into the office and comes back with his laptop and a hand full of envelops and a notebook, Bucky guesses he’s going to check on his bank account and that sort of thing that Bucky avoids doing at all costs.

The blond spreads everything on the table and takes the seat with his back to the wall so that way he’s still watching the movie, Bucky is lying down on the couch comfortably, Captain by his feet.

Everything is going smoothly and they have been spending the day just relaxing like Bucky expected, but the brunet still has something in the back of his mind, something he needs to ask Steve, he isn’t sure if he should, he doesn’t want to upset his boyfriend, but the blond had mentioned before that whenever that happens he needs to speak up.

“Hey, Steve?” Bucky says.

“Hmm?” the blond hums looking up from where he’s hunched over the table, his left hand stretched over the laptop and the other one wiggling a pencil frantically.

“You were holding back, weren’t you? Back in the shower”, he questions and Steve sucks his lower lip into his mouth, leaving the pencil over the notebook, “Why?” Bucky adds.

“I-I…” he shakes his head.

“Steeeeeeeve”, Bucky singsongs.

Steve stands up from his chair and walks to where Bucky is laying on the couch, he sits on the edge and Bucky moves to sit down properly and gives him some space, that way they’re on the same eye level, Steve takes one of Bucky’s hands between both of his and puts them over his lap.

“I love you”, Steve whispers looking down at their hands, his tone is a bit sad and Bucky frowns.

“I love you too”, Bucky adds, “what’s the matter?” he questions.

“You believe me, don’t you?” Steve asks looking back at Bucky, the brunet isn’t sure what he’s talking about, he knits his eyebrows together again, his head slightly tilted to the side, “that I love you”, the blond says.

“Yeeeeeah”, Bucky answers even though it sounds more like a question, not because he doesn’t believe him but because he doesn’t know where this is coming from, “yes, I believe you”, he nods, “why are you…?” he asks.

“It’s just…” Steve sighs, “last night when you asked me about Peggy, I don’t know… it made me feel like a shitty person”, he huffs, “then this morning we had sex and that was perfect but I didn’t want you to think it wasn’t enough or that is all I care about”, he shakes his head looking down again.

“What?” Bucky chuckles.

_Is he serious?_

“Basically, what I’m saying is that I don’t want you to think I’m using you or something”, he lets out a long sigh.

“Oh my God, Steve!” Bucky exclaims laughing, “Steve, Steven… sweetheart”, he says cupping his boyfriend’s face with his hands to make him look up at him, “first of all, stop overthinking everything”, he smirks, “second, you’re not a shitty person for caring about someone, it’s actually the opposite”, he nods, “and third, sex is important but I know it’s not all you care about”, Bucky says, “hell, I want you to use me!” he jokes throwing his hands at the air, luckily that makes Steve chuckle, a tiny smile spreading on his lips.

“You’re amazing, you know?” Steve grins at him.

“So they say”, Bucky shrugs his shoulders casually and Steve rolls his eyes, “also, you suck at lying, so yeah, I know you love me”, Bucky leans forward and gives his boyfriend a small kiss on the lips, “and practice what you preach, dude”, he chuckles.

Steve frowns his eyebrows in confusion, “why do you say that?” he wonders.

“You’re always telling me to ask for things, to tell you how I feel and stuff but you don’t do it”, he shakes his head, “if you want a BJ just say it”, Bucky wiggles his eyebrows and the blond giggles.

“You’re right’, Steve huffs, “I’m sorry”, he leans forward when Bucky opens his arms, the brunet kisses the top of Steve’s head as he holds him close to his chest.

“It’s okay, we’re okay”, Bucky sighs happily.

“We’re okay”, Steve repeats.

His boyfriend looks up at him, his eyelashes thick and long framing his clear blue eyes, like this Bucky can appreciate more the tiny freckles on his nose and on the top of his cheeks, the pink tone of his lips and the wrinkles on his forehead, “I love you”, Steve whispers.

“I love you too”, the brunet says before he leans forward and puts his lips on Steve’s, humming warmly into the kiss.

“Can you…” Steve clears his throat when he moves back, “say it again?” he asks, his cheeks blushed and he looks a little embarrassed.

“I told you before, I’ll say it as much as you want me too”, Bucky assures, “I love you, Steve Rogers”, he says in all earnestness.

The blond smiles wide and Bucky stretches his arms to pull him down with him, Steve places the side of his head on the center of Bucky’s chest as he usually does, Bucky runs his hands up and down his boyfriend’s back as he knows Steve likes, he kisses the top of his head, his blond short hairs almost tickling his nose as Steve settles in between Bucky’s legs.

“I love you too, Bucky”, Steve whispers.

***

“I can’t, it’s impossible, this is stupid!” Steve huffs. The blond looks down at his undone tie, the one he has been trying to fix for who knows how long, _because seriously, who the fuck invented this useless thing?_

He hears Bucky giggling as he comes out of the bathroom, Steve looks up quickly to check his boyfriend on the full body mirror in front of him and instantly feels his knees go weak, he lowers his view only to move it back up again. Steve sighs to himself and then turns around to take a better look at Bucky, his boyfriend’s feet shift softly against the floor and across the room, walking towards him slowly, his hips swinging from side to side and his chin up high, Steve isn’t sure if he’s teasing him or not but he has to swallow the lump of saliva that’s gathering inside his mouth before he starts to drool, _literally_.

Bucky places both of his hands on each side of Steve’s neck and pecks his lips, “you’re too cute”, he says, “let me”, the brunet moves his hands down to grab Steve’s tie. Steve stares down at him while Bucky looks concentrated doing such important task, fiddling his lip piercing while he ties _the damn thing_ , “there”, Bucky announces in no time, he moves his hands up to Steve’s neck again and dusts off his shoulders, “so handsome”, Bucky winks.

In reality, Steve is feeling confident enough to feel good with his outfit, even believes he looks handsome like Bucky says, but his boyfriend? _Holy fucking shit_. That man is on another lever, according to Steve.

The brunet is wearing everything black, a trademark that Steve recognizes very well, he has a perfectly tailored black suit, black shoes, black shirt and a skinny black tie, his hair is combed but disheveled at the same time, to Steve’s eyes it looks perfect; both of their suit jackets are still laying over the bed, and Steve’s contrasts against his boyfriend’s, for sure.

Steve’s suit is well tailored too, something his mother had always insisted on. This time he’s wearing the navy blue one, on Steve’s opinion, blue compliments more his pale skin tone. That specific attire has a vest too aside from the jacket, he wasn’t sure if he should wear it or not but since the weather has been extremely cold he goes on with it, along with brown shoes and a plain white shirt, and decides to spice it up with the tie, something with more colors on it that match the suit: brown, burgundy red, navy blue and white.

“Earth to Rogers”, Bucky chuckles.

“Uuuumm, yeah”, Steve hums, “what’s up?” he says trying to sound casual, avoiding the fact he had been distracted by his boyfriend’s ridiculous attractiveness.

“You were staring again”, Bucky smirks.

“Soooo? Can’t I?” he lifts an eyebrow at Bucky teasingly.

“Sure you can”, the brunet nods, “but I think our ride will be here any second”, he informs.

“Is it eight already?” Steve worries.

“Almost”, Bucky says, “c’mon, let’s go downstairs”, he turns around and goes to grab his jacket from the bed before he moves towards the stairs.

Their day had consisted in watching movies and eating whatever they could find on Steve’s fridge, Steve went from checking his bank account to his work email, sorting out new things to come for the store, exchanging emails with Morita about the upcoming Expo he’ll be attending the next spring and browsing the web in general. Also, it was full of all sorts of emotions, from arousal to confusion, to happiness and anxiety, but Steve is thankfully that his boyfriend is able to understand him, even though their time together hasn’t been much, he knows Steve so well by now, probably even more than he knows himself.

Currently, the room is quiet and awfully empty without Bucky in it, Steve sighs heavily and checks himself in the mirror one more time, Bucky fixed his tie and it looks way better, he puts on the vest and buttons it quickly, he checks his watch and it reads seven forty-eight. He opens the closet and grabs a dark brown coat and then picks up his jacket before he moves to the lower floor to join his boyfriend.

Soon enough, there’s a knock on the door informing them that the driver has arrived, Bucky opens quickly while Steve checks Captain’s plates and makes a promise to his friend that he’s coming back later on, the dog whines like he understands perfectly what Steve said and goes to lay down on his bed. They put on their coats and gloves and walk to the black Sedan as fast as they manage without slipping on the icy floor. 

“Woah, you cleaned up good”, the driver says.

“I know, right”, Bucky chuckles, “Hi, Happy,” the brunet waves his hand at him, “have you met my Steve?” he says, apparently he knows the guy, Steve feels pride and joy running through his veins at Bucky clarifying Steve being his.

“Only by mention”, he holds open the car door for them. The man looks around his mid thirties, well built with strong frame, black hair and tanned skin; he’s wearing a black standard suit under his black long coat and Steve notices the headset attached to his ear right away, “I have them, Pepper”, the guy says placing his hand over his ear, “right away”, he adds, “nice to meet you, Harold Hogan”, the man offers his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Harold, Steve Rogers”, Steve shakes his hand.

“Just call me Happy, everyone does”, the man shrugs.

“Holy shit, I didn’t even know your name’s Harold”, Bucky chuckles, “Happy is Tony and Pepper’s friend, bodyguard, chauffeur and whatnot”, Bucky explains.

“Basically, they’ll be lost without me”, Happy nods.

“I bet”, Steve smirks.

“How come you’re here though? I mean, I’m honored but Tony isn’t gonna freak out if he doesn’t see you there?” Bucky questions.

“I offered”, Happy says, “honestly, I needed a break from all the fuzz going on there and told Pepper I wanted to drive away for a few minutes and she mentioned you guys, so yeah”, he says casually.

“Well, thank you very much”, Steve nods.

“Anytime”, the man waves his hand at them, “we should get going, there’s people asking for you”, Happy points at Steve.

“Oh, boy”, Steve sighs.

“C’mon, Stevie”, Bucky pats his shoulder, “I’ll get the door, Happy, thanks”, he says and then man walks away after a nod, “do you have everything?” Bucky asks.

“Inhaler, wallet, keys, phone”, Steve whispers, “yeah”, he nods.

“Great”, the brunet leans forward and kisses him, a tiny kiss on the corner of his mouth, Bucky’s lips and nose are cold against Steve’s skin, his piercings look bright thanks to the Christmas decorations and street lights, “let’s go”, Bucky gives Steve a small spank and the blond giggles as he starts moving, ducking his head to get inside the car.

***

“No… I can’t, Buck”, Steve shakes his head frantically, “let’s go home, I can’t do this”, his boyfriend insists.

They arrive half an hour later at the Stark Tower, with the traffic and all, Steve had been really uneasy on the ride there, wiggling his leg impatiently, cracking his fingers and neck, checking for his inhaler inside his pocket, he even ran his hand through his hair once, completely forgetting his hair was neatly combed, Bucky had to fix it for him after that while his boyfriend huffed in frustration.

The place looks like the same old thing for Bucky, specially since he spends most of his days in there, but as soon as they step out of the car, Steve opens his eyes wide and let out a low whistle, Bucky figures is normal to react that way for someone that’s not so accustomed to the place, specially since this year they threw the house out of the window with the Christmas decorations.

When Happy parks the car in front of the building, Bucky tells him not to bother with the door and opens it himself, he practically has to drag Steve out of the car because he’s beginning to back down, Bucky closes the door behind his boyfriend and Happy wishes them good luck before he drives away.

At the moment, they’re standing in front of the glass doors of the building and Steve is starting to hyperventilate, Bucky needs to do something to soothe him but he guesses that giving him a smack in the face isn’t going to help much, besides, Bucky is starting to freeze out there, the shoulder brace not doing much to keep the cold away. The brunet lowers his right hand and reaches for Steve’s left, he intertwines their fingers together and gives his boyfriend’s hand a light squeeze, Steve looks down and stares at their hands for a moment.

“Steve”, Bucky whispers but his boyfriend doesn’t look up, “Steven”, he says a bit louder and that makes him look up, his lips are pursed into a thin line, his skin looks paler than usual but his nose is red from the cold weather, his eyes are open wide and his eyebrows frowned, “sweetheart, it’s going to be okay”, Bucky nods, “c’mon, you can do this, Stevie”, he encourages with a smile.

Steve nods slowly after he lets out a long breath, “yeah”, he says, “let’s get this over with”, he starts to walk again but he doesn’t let go of Bucky’s hand, he just pulls him along.

They reach the reception and they’re greeted by a couple of people who ask for their names and take their coats, after that, a young woman guides them to the elevator and sends them up.

“Hey, Bucky”, Steve whispers leaning back on the mirrored wall, still holding Bucky’s hand, “I want you to promise me something”, he says.

“What is it?” Bucky wonders.

“Promise you won’t lie to me”, Steve pleads and Bucky knits his eyebrows together, “my art pieces, it’s okay if you don’t like them, just tell me the truth, please”, he asks.

“But…” he sighs, “okay”, Bucky nods, “I promise”, he assures and Steve nods his head tilted down, “hey…” Bucky says pulling at Steve’s arm, when the blond looks up Bucky smiles wide at him, “I love you”, he says.

“I love you too”, Steve grins back.

The elevator comes to a stop on the thirteenth floor; Bucky knows that’s one of the few stories they keep clear for special occasions like this, “Mr. Barnes, Mr. Rogers”, the voice with the British accent says and Steve flinches beside him, “have a good evening, gentleman”, Jarvis adds.

“Thanks, Jarvis”, Bucky smirks.

“I’ll never get used to that”, Steve giggles awkwardly.

They step forward and Bucky feels Steve go rigid immediately, he has to admit that the man has a reason a good reason to, the room is full of people dressed in their best attires, elegant tuxedoes and gowns; it’s a wide and open space that has a Winter Wonderland theme decorations, it’s classy and frosty, and very, very white and silver; everything looks like it’s worth a million dollars and Bucky has decided that he isn’t going to get near anything to prevent his clumsy steps and hands from breaking something. There are a few improvised walls and stands on the far left that Bucky recognizes as the art exhibit, on the opposite end is a small stage along with circular tables and chairs, that’s were the action is going to take place, there’s also a dance floor and a bar.

“Holy shit”, Steve whispers under his breath.

“I know”, Bucky chuckles.

“Bucky! Steve!” he hears a woman’s voice calling for them. The couple looks to their left to notice Darcy; Bucky had totally forgot that Steve mentioned that also Loki and Thor were going to be there.

“Hey, Darce”, Steve smiles.

“There you guys are, I’ve been asking for you”, she says embracing them into a hug.

“My friends!” Thor comes walking towards them with his arms wide open, Jane and Loki by his sides.

They all shake hands and exchange hugs, everyone compliments their attires and Steve seems to be relaxing as the time passes, Bucky is trying not to be rude but he just wants to cut the conversation and run to the back of the place to see Steve’s artwork but he figures he has all night. They chat for a bit and the brunet can’t help to notice that no one has mention anything about the exhibit, Bucky is glad for it since he doesn’t want any spoilers, after a few more minutes they part ways, Darcy says she’s dying to try some appetizers and Thor insists he needs some alcohol in his system.

“Sooooo…” Bucky hums, “shall we?” he says pointing back over his shoulder with his thumb.

Steve swallows loudly and nods, “yeah”, the blond sighs.

The couple makes a B line straight to the back, only shaking hands with a few people, Steve is practically dragging him there, not even stopping when people call for him, he just waves and says he’s coming right back, Bucky lets his boyfriend guide him without any complaint, they stop when they reach what he desperately wants to see.

Bucky has been to art exhibits before, but nothing like this, there are a variety of styles and so many different artists, they walk around and stop for a few seconds on each piece, Steve makes comments when he spots the work he recognizes, Bucky stays quiet through out the whole walk, just listening closely and nodding as Steve points out details he enjoys, this type of art isn’t much Bucky’s thing but he gets excited just by seeing his boyfriend so enthusiastic, his anxiety washing away with every step.

Steve must have spotted his pieces because all of the sudden he goes cold again, his hand stiff and sweaty against Bucky’s, the blond takes a deep breath and lets the air out through his nose slowly, “the next ones are mine, I really hope you like them”, Steve says and Bucky smiles before he starts walking again.

His boyfriend releases his hand and Bucky moves in front of him, there’s a small introduction of each artist and their artwork close to their pieces, the couple stand in front of Steve’s while they both read in silence. The text has a brief biography of Steve’s life, where he was born and grew up raised by his mother, a bit of what his hobbies are and what he currently does for a living. Every word is carefully chosen to praise Steve’s work, it’s tasteful and elegant and more importantly sincere, and Bucky can bet it was Pepper who wrote them.

“Whoa! Those are a lot of adjectives”, Steve whispers between his teeth.

“Yeah”, Bucky chuckles warmly, “they’re not wrong”, he offers a small smile and Steve sighs again.

The brunet turns around and moves to the side where the pieces are in display, Bucky can say in all honesty that he’s speechless, which is something completely uncharacteristic, he normally has a witty or humorous comment to make about everything, but not this time.

***

“Bucky?” Steve places a hand on his boyfriend’s right shoulder, the brunet turns around and stares at his hand then up to his face, “say something”, he pleads.

“This is crazy”, he whispers with a blank expression on his hand.

“Yeah, I know”, he says awkwardly, “maybe it’s not…” Steve shakes his head.

“No, Steve”, Bucky cuts in, “let me rephrase that”, he nods, “they’re amazing”, Bucky says, “Fuck, I’m not good with words, okay?” he chuckles awkwardly, “but they are great, they’re incredible”, he smiles.

Steve looks down and takes Bucky’s hand, he stares at them for a moment and then looks up to his boyfriend’s face, the brunet is smiling wide, his eyes bright and the corners wrinkled, “you really think so?” the blond asks.

The brunet squeezes his hand and nods, “yes, I swear”, he says, “pinky promise”, he holds his pinky from his free hand up in the air.

“Pinky promise”, Steve giggles but he hooks his finger with Bucky’s anyway.

“But seriously, though”, Bucky sighs, “they’re unbelievable”, he nods.

“Well, they’re different from the flash art in the shop, that’s for sure”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, I think that’s one of the reasons I like them”, his boyfriend says.

The blond lets out the breath he had been holding, his anxiety going away slowly, Bucky hasn’t seen everything, and there’s something special that Steve wants to show him, that something that’s strategically placed at the end of the exhibit.

“There’s more I want you see”, Steve sighs.

“Oh, yeah?” Bucky lifts his eyebrows.

“Steve, there you are!” someone yells behind him.

Steve rolls his eyes as soon as he recognizes Tony’s voice and tries not to huff in annoyance, not because Tony bothers him, _which he kinda does sometimes_ , but because he couldn’t have chosen a more inappropriate time to interrupt.

“Hello, Tony”, he waves at him with his left hand, the other one still holding Bucky’s.

“Do you mind if I steal him for a few minutes?” Tony addresses Bucky.

“NOW?! Are you kidding? Of course I mind”, Bucky huffs and his grip on Steve’s hand grows tighter.

“C’mon, Buck-o”, Tony insists, “I bet he’s been with you all day and you’ll have him the rest of the evening, there’s some people that want to meet the star of the night”, he says.

“I’m not the star of the night”, Steve comments trying not to blush.

“Just for a bit, pretty please?” Tony gives him a cheeky smile.

“Whatever he says”, Bucky smiles at Steve.

“Fine, I’ll go”, he gives in and Tony cheers. Steve turns to the side to face his boyfriend, “I won’t take long”, he shakes his head.

“Do you want me to wait for you?” Bucky questions, “to see the rest, I mean”, he adds.

He gives it a though for a second but he figures he has waited too long for this moment, he can just ask Bucky if he liked them or not when he comes back, “no, it’s okay, just hold your thoughts until I come back”, he pleads.

“I will”, Bucky assures with a nod.

“I’ll be right back”, Steve leans forward and kisses Bucky’s cheek sweetly, not wanting to make a scene in front of those people by shoving his tongue inside the brunet’s mouth like he desperately wants to.

“Stop it, lovebirds!” Tony yells, “everyone can see”, the man with the goatee says.

“Shut up, you’re just jealous”, Bucky wiggles his eyebrows, “that was nothing”, he winks at Steve and this time the blond does blush.

“I’m going, I’m going”, he rolls his eyes.

He brings up Bucky’s cold hand up to his lips and kisses his knuckles, “I love you”, he whispers loud enough just for Bucky to hear right before he finally lets him go and starts walking after Tony, the blond peeks back over his shoulder to see his boyfriend turning around to pick up where they left off.

“What did you say to him?” Tony questions.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Right now, you whispered something to him”, Tony lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Well, that’s non of your business, Tony”, the blond says plainly.

“Oh, c’mon!” the guy insists.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Steve wonders.

“I will, believe me”, he smirks.

Tony introduces him to a few people that he has never seen before, they all look elegant and distinguished, they congratulate him about his work and tell him how amazing it is, Steve thanks them and lets himself be drag by Tony between the sea of people, a lot of them patting his shoulder and shaking his hand.

“Steve, quite the work you did there”, Bruce says when they reach him, the man is standing next to Rhodes, close to the bar.

“Thank you”, he nods and shakes his hand, “how are you guys?” he asks both of them.

“Fine”, Rhodes nods leaning to the side to grab a glass of Champaign from one of the waiters that is walking by, Bruce smiles before he takes a sip from his own drink, “so, tell me, have you like this so far?” the man asks and Steve dives himself into the conversation, trying to make small talk with Bucky in the back of his mind is going to be hard.

***

Steve’s artwork is beyond of what he had expected, he knew it was going to be good, everybody always has a comment about it, but it’s nothing like he imagined, Steve wasn’t lying when he said it’s different to what he had showed him before, it’s overwhelming.

Bucky hasn’t even seen all of the pieces but if they’re any way near to the others he’s sure he’s going to love them too, so far he has seen mostly all, staring at them for more than he intended.

There’s something unique about the paintings, a combination of styles that Bucky had not expected at all, but truth be told, the more he looks at them the more sense they have and finds more details to love. Bucky doesn’t know much about types of art but he’s aware that the paintings have a contemporary feel to them, by the hard stokes and the selection of color schemes but it can also be considered impressionism. Bucky feels the breeze going through the trees and hears the birds singing on the paintings, he even grins at Mrs. Rogers infectious smile.

He can almost read Steve’s thoughts when he was painting them, it can be because he knows him like the palm of his hand by now or because there’s so much meaning in the pieces, from happiness and cheerfulness to the anxiety and fear. Every mixture of color, every single brushstroke and composition is Steve; all of them scream Steve, holding carefully a piece of his soul that Bucky wants to keep and never let go.

The paintings don’t have a specific theme, Bucky just recognizes them as the things that Steve likes the most, landscapes of the city like the Brooklyn Bridge, the one that Bucky smiles wide when he remembers their first date, the Statue of Liberty and Coney Island, they aren’t lying when they say Steve is a New York based artist; some other are portraits of random people on the street, his mother, and even the view from the window on his kitchen and Captain playing outside.

When Bucky reaches the end of Steve’s pieces, one can say he was definitely not prepared for what he sees, at first he thinks he’s dreaming, he has to blink a few times to force back the tears gathering in his eyes as his breath gets caught inside his throat.

The artwork in front him is different from the rest, instead of being a single piece it’s a composition of 4, a big frame with 3 other smaller pieces under it, all of them equal in size. The big piece has a man in it resting on his right side, spread over rumpled white bed sheets, his left arm covering half of his sleepy face while the other half is obscured by his hair, his naked torso chiseled by the witty strokes, the prominent curve of his waist meeting the fabric of his underwear.

The other three pieces are details of what appears to be the same man, his hands holding a book, his fingers curled around the hardcover and caressing the paper of the pages; his eyes, this time they’re open but looking down with a soft expression on his face, gray-blue eyes covered by a few strands of brown hair; and lastly, and probably Bucky’s favorite, his head turned to the side showing his jaw over the close-up of his shoulder, his collarbone meeting blurry scars down his chest and the contrasting dark color of his arm against his skin.

It’s Bucky.

Everything is there, every single detail and flaw, from the color of his skin to the ink on his arm, the messiness of his hair and frowned forehead, the stubble on his jaw and his cleft chin, his small hands and crooked fingers, his wonky shoulder and the scars his boyfriend likes to kiss so much.

_His boyfriend, Steve._

Bucky looks down to the little words under them, they’re different too, the other art pieces have a name, size, technic and a price or an indication to be auctioned, but these ones don’t, he tilts his head to the side and knits his eyebrows together in confusion.

_No title_

_Private collector_

_Not for sale_

“Amazing, isn’t it?” someone says behind him, “to say the least”, the woman adds.

Bucky turns around to notice Pepper close to him, she’s standing there looking pristine and elegant in her long white dress with nude pumps on her feet and her hair sleekly brushed back into a fancy high ponytail, she’s holding a glass in one hand and some pieces of paper in the other, Bucky isn’t sure for how long she has been there but he hopes she didn’t listen to his sniffles.

“Hmm?” he hums.

“Steve’s work”, Pepper says with a smile. The brunet is well aware that Pepper is passionate about art, is something she enjoys a lot, and from Tony’s words, she’s an expert at it, hearing her compliment Steve’s work makes Bucky feel happy for him.

“Oh, yeah”, he nods looking at her and then turns his head to stare at the pieces again, “it’s incredible”, he sighs.

“Yes, everything is sold but the ones to be auctioned”, she comments, “and this ones of course”, she smiles kindly.

“Umm, Pepper?” Bucky says, “I have a question and you can totally not answer, it’s cool”, he nods and she waves her hand to indicate him to proceed, “who owns these pieces?” he questions pointing at the frames in front of them.

“You do”, she smirks warmly.

“What?” Bucky asks, his eyes open wide and his eyebrows up almost meeting his hairline.

“Great, now I owe Steve ten dollars”, she chuckles.

“What are you talking about?” he wonders.

“Remember the last time I sent Tony with some papers for you to sign?” the blonde asks.

Bucky tries to pick into his mind and recall when was that, the brunet went into the building the day before to sign his check and other stuff but she specifically said the last time she sent Tony. His cheeks blush as soon as he remembers, it was that one special occasion when Steve sucked him off in his office, Bucky had been in such a struggle not to moan when Tony handed him the papers that he didn’t even bother to read what he was signing.

“Bucky?” Pepper questions.

“Umm, yeah”, he nods, “I remember”, Bucky says trying to clear his mind from his dirty thoughts, his dick twitching inside his pants.

“Well, Steve said he wanted you to sign a release form for these pieces so no one else can take them but you”, she comments with a smile, “he told me not to tell you anything, we made a small bet that you wouldn’t even read the papers, guess he was right”, she chuckles.

He wonders for a second if Steve knew that Pepper was going to send Tony that same day and he distracted him with the blowjob, not that Bucky is mad but that just proves that everyone keeps thinking that his boyfriend is some sort of a saint, _that sneaky bastard_ , Bucky smiles at the thought but he also feels disappointed with himself, he could have known about these pieces earlier.

“I guess I should pay more attention, right?” he chuckles scratching the back of his neck.

“Probably”, she nods, “speak of the devil”, Pepper says between her teeth, “I’ll pay you soon enough”, she nods and pats Steve’s shoulder as soon as he comes to stand next to them.

“Oh, don’t worry about it”, Steve smirks waving a hand at her in dismissal.

“Gentleman, I’ll see you later”, and with that Pepper walks away.

***

“Soooooo?” Steve says dragging the ‘o’ dramatically.

“Hi”, Bucky smiles wide.

The brunet is standing by what Steve desperately wanted to show him, Bucky doesn’t seem upset or uncomfortable, Steve guesses everything is alright but he still needs to make sure. His boyfriend had been awfully quiet before he left and Steve didn’t know how to take that, when he finally started walking through the section where Steve’s pieces are, he had a blank expression on his face, it wasn’t bad but it made the blond more anxious, then he said he really liked what he had seen so far and that lifted a huge weight off of Steve’s shoulders.

When Tony came to take him away, Steve had to fight himself from rejecting the man, after all, none of what’s happening would’ve been possible without his family’s business, so he agreed and left his boyfriend there to continue alone.

“Hello”, Steve grins back, “did you…” he clears his throat, “like the rest?” he asks.

“Of course I did”, Bucky nods.

“Don’t you think it’s weird, or creepy?” the blond questions, “because if you do, I totally get it”, he chuckles awkwardly.

“What are you even talking about?” Bucky frowns his eyebrows looking rightfully confused.

“That”, he nods his head towards the paintings, Bucky’s paintings to be exact.

Bucky turns around and takes a deep breath, Steve steps forward to stand next to him, the brunet grabs Steve’s hand and squeezes it, “No, Steve”, he shakes his head looking to the side at him, “I don’t think it’s weird or creepy”, he says, “Pepper told me they’re mine”, he smiles and Steve nods, his lips pursed into a thin line, “but why…why would you give them to me?” the man asks.

“I painted them thinking about you, obviously”, he chuckles, “but if you don’t want them, that’s okay”, he says trying to sound calm and not sad, _at all_.

“Hey, nobody said that”, Bucky squeezes his hand again, “Pepper told me about the bet, you’re such a cheater”, he lifts an eyebrow at him.

“Oh yeah, the bet”, he laughs, “but I didn’t cheat”, he shakes his head.

“So you just happen to casually give me a blow job when she wanted me to sign the papers, you weren’t trying to distract me?” he wiggles his eyebrows and Steve immediately feels a deep blush creeping from his neck up to his cheeks at the memory of his boyfriend struggling to keep quiet while Steve was hiding under his desk with his hand stroking his shaft over his jeans.

“That was an apology for scaring you when I said I was at the hospital, it had nothing to do with the papers, good timing, I guess”, he shrugs his shoulders with a smirk on his lips.

“You’re the best”, Bucky leans forward and kisses Steve’s cheek sweetly, “one more question”, the brunet says, his tone is serious and his expression hopeful, Steve nods to let him continue, “those pieces are beautiful and I’m not saying that because I’m in them”, he turns to the side to face Steve and he stares back into his eyes, “but do you really see me like that?” Bucky wonders.

“Well…I, yeah”, he scratches the back of his neck with his free hand, he releases Bucky’s hand and moves them up to cup his boyfriend’s face, “you’re gorgeous, baby”, Steve whispers, “to be honest, I don’t think they do you justice”, he smiles at him.

“Oh, fuck, shut up!” Bucky chuckles as he moves forward and places his arms around Steve’s waist to bring him closer, Steve puts his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders, “you’re going to give me diabetes”, Bucky says against the skin of Steve’s neck before he kisses him right there, making Steve’s knees go weak, he almost flinches at the coldness of his boyfriend’s lip piercing.

“You want diabetes?” Steve questions and Bucky nods smirking, “in a room full of art, I’d still stare at you, because to me, you’re that precious”, he smiles wide and it’s Bucky’s time to blush but he’s giggling too, “I thought you liked sweet things”, Steve adds.

“I do, believe me”, Bucky leans back and nods, then moves forward again to whisper into Steve’s ear, “you look really good in that suit, but I just want to rip it off from your body and eat you since the first moment I saw you”, he murmurs, his tongue heavy inside his mouth, his voice low and breath hot.

His boyfriend winks at him and smiles innocently, like he hadn’t said what he did and Steve is struggling inside his mind and debating about dragging Bucky to the closest bathroom and get down on his knees to suck him. The blond tries to keep his hands occupied by placing them on Bucky’s hips and leans backwards trying not to make a scene in the middle of a crowded room.

“I guess that’ll have to wait for later”, he smirks bating his long eyelashes at his boyfriend, trying to ignore his own blushed cheeks.

“Yeah”, Bucky swallows loudly, “let’s just change the subject”, his boyfriend chuckles.

They continue to chat for a few more minutes standing there close to Steve’s artwork, and he couldn’t feel happier, everything has turn out better than he expected and the night isn’t over yet, he eventually forgets what he was nervous about in the first place. A few people walk by and ask if he’s Steve Rogers and he shakes their hands politely, Bucky joins the conversation from time to time as the charming man he is, Steve could listen to him talk for hours.

“Should we go sit for a bit?” Steve suggests after a while.

“Sure”, the brunet nods and lets himself be guided by Steve.

They reach the area where the tables and chairs are and walk to their designated seats; Thor is enthusiastically telling Jane a story about a guy that recognized him from the past Renaissance Fair, she listens with a smile on her face while she rubs her small baby bump over her expensive dress, her other hand placed over Thor’s on the table. Next to the couple are Darcy and Loki; the bubbly brunette is chugging down her drink while Loki has his right arm stretched across the backrest of her seat, his characteristic smirk on his face looking at her adoringly, Steve wonders for a second if that’s the way he looks when he stares at Bucky.

The group of friends talk about what they liked the most about the night so far, they pat Steve’s shoulders and tell him how amazing his art pieces are while Bucky holds his hand tightly under the table. At some moment in the evening, the catering service puts some expensive looking plates over the tables and an agitated Howard Stark speaks on the background, instructing them to enjoy the dinner and to get their checkbooks ready for the auction that is going to begin shortly after food is done.

His boyfriend shoves as much food as possible inside his mouth while Steve tries not to laugh when he starts choking, the blond pats his back and shakes his head giggling, Bucky takes a long sip of his glass of water before he gives Steve a small smack on his thigh way too close to his penis, he flinches in return and the brunet laughs saying it’s payback, he has no other option but to agree.

Steve eats his food in silence while his friends talk and giggle, he joins with a laugh from time to time and tries to keep his cool when Pepper appears standing on the stage, her skin glowing and her hair shiny thanks to the spotlight over her.

“Ladies and gentleman, good evening”, she says into the microphone.

He takes a couple of deep breaths before he gulps what’s left of his glass of water, a waitress comes to offer them more drinks and he politely agrees and takes another glass of water. The auction is about to start and three of his paintings are going to be up there, he’s nervous again, to say the least, he has never been to an event like this and he doesn’t know what to expect, he hopes everything goes well.

_What if nobody is interested? What if they don’t want to buy my paintings?_

“Hey, it’s going to be alright”, Bucky leans to the side and whispers into his ear, the blond almost shivers when he feels his hot breath against his neck, Steve stares at his boyfriend, amazed of his ability to read Steve so well.

The brunet nods offering a smile, Steve smiles in return but doesn’t say anything, he looks at the table and frowns his eyebrows when he realizes he had been squeezing Bucky’s hand more tightly than he intended but his boyfriend’s hadn’t said anything, “I’m sorry”, he says letting him go.

Bucky opens and closes his hand a couple of times to release some tension before he gets into Steve’s personal space and kisses his cheek, “it’s okay”, he assures and Steve sighs.

***

As soon as the auction starts, Steve becomes anxious again, Bucky can feel it deep in his bones, he’s a bit nervous too but he isn’t going to let that show because he needs to be grounded in case his boyfriend needs him, he can handle the situation and so does Steve, he just needs to be reminded sometimes and Bucky doesn’t bother to be the one to tell him.

When the waiters clear the tables the event has officially started, they are handed some wooden pallets with numbers on them, anybody can place a price if they want to, _anybody with money, of course_.

They abandon their number in the center of the table and Steve pulls out a pen from who knows where and starts doodling things on a paper napkin to distract himself, Bucky has been rubbing Steve’s muscular back to try soothing his nerves, and whenever he stops, the blonde wiggles his body side to side, the brunet chuckles every time and continues to move his arm, rubbing the palm of his hand firmly across his boyfriend’s shoulders.

Bucky has been giving Steve side looks to see if the blond reacts when Pepper mentions his name, the blond tenses a bit and doesn’t even bother to look up, his concentration fully into his sketches. He has been paying attention to the auction to see how much money they are making; they aren’t auctioning just paintings, the tattoos from the Star-Spangled Shop, which Bucky is truly surprised to see how much older people are interested in them, also pieces of technology, furniture, sculptures and even vacation packages, basically, a little bit of everything.

All of the items have an initial price, some of them are fair and other are high to begin with but non of the people around them seem to mind, they just shout and wave their numbers up in the air when they spot something they like.

Steve’s artwork is sold for a crazy-stupid amount of money that has Bucky with his mouth open wide and his eyes popping out, the brunet doesn’t see who buys them but he guesses they are going to have a good home, people will hang them up in a wall to be in display for everyone to see, where they belong. Steve is doing a pretty good job acting like he doesn’t listen how much people are willing to pay for his pieces, but Bucky knows better, his boyfriend sighs heavily and returns to his drawing like a five year-old kid bored at a family reunion, Bucky doesn’t blame him though, if that’s his way of dealing with his anxiety, he’s nobody to stop him.

“Whoa! That was intense”, Darcy sighs leaning back on her seat when the auction finally comes to an end.

“That’s what money does”, Loki comments.

“I can’t believe a tattoo worth one thousand dollars went up to almost ten, I mean, that’s crazy”, she opens her eyes wide.

“At least is for a good cause”, Jane comments.

“My Jane, you are forever so thoughtful”, Thor beams at his wife and the woman smiles back.

His boyfriend remains quiet but he seems more interested in the conversation now that their friends start to change the subject, talking about the holidays and spending time with family.

“Steve, did you bought Bucky’s gift already?” Darcy wonders wiggling her eyebrows.

“Doll, you shouldn’t pry”, Loki whispers between his teeth.

“I’m not prying, I’m just curious”, she pokes Loki’s cheek and the guy scrunches his nose.

“Yeah, I did”, he nods with a small smile on his lips.

“What is it?” Darcy asks excitedly.

“Yeah, Steve”, Bucky elbows Steve’s arm, “tell us what is it”, he gives his boyfriend a cheeky smile.

“We already talked about this, I’m not saying”, he shakes his head and Bucky huffs crossing his arms over his chest like a child.

“I bet it’s big”, Darcy comments.

Bucky smirks teasingly and places his right hand over Steve’s thigh and drags it up slowly, he stops when the tip of his fingers are right next to his boyfriend’s penis, feeling the heat eradiating from the blond’s skin through the layers of clothing, Steve takes a deep breath and places his hands on the edge of the table.

“Yeah, I bet that gift is huge”, Bucky whispers.

Bucky saw the opportunity and took it, _how could I not?_

Steve is completely aware of what Bucky is implying but he doesn’t get mad, he’s probably enjoying it just like Bucky is, he doesn’t even move Bucky’s hand when his fingers begin to trace the length of his member, the blond lets out a long breath in response. Loki is talking to Darcy about another topic that she isn’t paying attention to them anymore, completely unaware of what’s happening under the table.

“Holy shit”, Steve hisses, “I can’t with you”, he chuckles awkwardly.

“Yes, you can”, Bucky leans to the side and kisses Steve’s flushed cheek, “why don’t we go stretch our legs?” he suggests.

“Yes, please”, Steve answers right away, “wait, you mean dancing?” the blond worries.

“Not really, do you wanna dance?” Bucky questions.

“Only if you want to, you know it’s not my thing”, Steve shakes his head.

“Nah, I’ll let it pass this time”, he shrugs before he stands up offering a hand for his boyfriend to take.

The couple stretch their backs and say goodbye to their friends, Jane mentions she had been up since early morning and that the baby and her need to rest, Thor instructs he’s taking his beloved wife home, says goodbye and wishes them happy holidays. Darcy and Loki also stand up and the man lets himself be drag by his girlfriend, almost sprinting towards the dance floor when Darcy announces they are playing ‘her song’, they wave and off they go.

They walk towards the back of the place where the bar is, the music isn’t so loud back there so they can talk and mingle more comfortably without having to yell at each other. Steve shakes hands with a few people, and as always, he introduces Bucky to include him in the conversation, the brunet feels over the moon just by hearing Steve say ‘my boyfriend Bucky’ or simply ‘my Bucky’. He has also run into a few co-workers that refer towards Steve as ‘the famous boyfriend’ and the blond smiles wide every time, Bucky calls it a success.

All of the sudden, Bucky feels his phone vibrating inside his pocket, that isn’t so unusual but what’s funny it’s that Steve’s phone also starts ringing, the couple giggle and pull out their electronic devices.

 **Natalia:** How’s everything going?

Bucky shows his boyfriend the message and starts laughing right away before he does the same with his phone.

 **Clint Barton:** Yooooo, Picasso! R we rich now? $.$

The brunet puts his attention back to his phone to type back a response while Steve mirrors his actions. Bucky mentions that everything is going great, he doesn’t say much about Steve’s nervousness but he figures that Natasha is aware of it, probably that’s the main reason she’s asking, _always the mother-hen_. The girl says she’s happy about it and reminds him they’re spending the next day together, Bucky can’t forget about even if he tried, he loves spending time with his friend, he wishes her goodnight and pockets his phone again.

***

“Mr. Rogers”, a man’s voice says behind them.

Steve frowns at the beginning at the seriousness of the tone, he wonders for a second if he did something wrong, but he does recognize the voice, the bolts and screws inside his head working on putting a face to it.

“Mr. Lehnsherr”, Steve turns around to face the older man, he stretches his hand to greet him.

“Steve Rogers, just the man we were looking for”, the other man behind them announces, “how are you, son?” Mr. Xavier questions.

“Hi, I’m fine”, he nods, “how are you, gentleman?” Steve adds.

“Marvelous!” Eric exclaims, “We aren’t interrupting anything, are we?” the man wonders looking at Bucky.

“Not at all”, he shakes his head and looks to the side where Bucky is standing close to him just staring between the men and him, “I’m sorry, how rude of me”, the blond chuckles, “I think you haven’t officially met”, he lifts his eyebrows, “this is my boyfriend, Bucky”, Steve says.

“Hello”, Bucky smiles extending his hand politely, “I remember you, from that time in the mall, right?” the brunet mentions.

“That’s right”, Charles answers.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Eric wonders quirking an eyebrow teasingly and Bucky looks confused.

“Eriiiiiic!” Charles singsongs, placing a hand on the center his husband’s chest.

“What? It’s just a question!” he smirks, “what I’m talking about is that last time we saw you with Steven he said you weren’t a couple”, Eric explains when he notices Bucky’s expression, “yet” he adds quickly, “I did told him to hurry, though”, the man laughs.

“Really?” Bucky giggles looking between Eric and him, Steve blushes as usual.

“And I told my husband not to get in other people’s business”, Charles says.

“It’s okay”, Steve and Bucky say at the same time and the couple begins to giggle.

“So cute”, Eric claps his hands together.

“I know”, Charles mouths with his eyes open wide looking at his husband, “Steven, the real reason we want to talk to you is because we bought one of your pieces, they’re exquisite”, the man smiles.

“You did?” Steve asks in surprise, “you could’ve just told me you were interested, I’ll be happy to give you one”, he offers.

“Nonsense”, Eric shakes his head, “don’t ever give away your good work, boy”, he comments.

“That’s what I keep telling him”, Bucky murmurs between his teeth.

“You do that, don’t let him”, Eric points a finger at him.

“Well, thank you”, Steve says shyly fiddling with his hands behind his back, “I’m glad you liked them”, he offers a small smile.

“Anyway, we’re going to let you go now”, Eric says, “right, love?” the man elbows his husband’s arm.

“Of course”, he nods, “enjoy the rest of your evening”, Charles adds.

“So do you”, Bucky comments with a smile.

“Thank so you much again”, Steve grins.

“Oh no, thank you”, Eric winks.

“You’re very welcome, my son”, Charles says before he turns around, his husband following close behind him.

“What a nice couple”, Bucky comments as soon as the gentlemen are out of sight.

“Yeah”, Steve sighs, “they actually got together not so long ago”, he says.

“It’s never too late for love, eh?” Bucky wiggles his eyebrows.

“Now who’s being sweet?” Steve chuckles and Bucky winks teasingly.

The couple picks up where they left off and get closer to the bar, there’s a tray full of cheese and crackers that Steve has been eyeing since they got there, he gets close to it and starts eating right away, Bucky is by his side signaling the bartender to come their way. The brunet orders a plain Coke and Steve asks for a glass of Cranberry juice, the man behind the bar insists if he doesn’t want any alcohol to go with it since it’s meant to be for the cocktails, Steve politely declines and the guy gives him a weird look but serves the juice anyway.

Steve munches happily and Bucky just grabs a few cookies here and there, the blond is leaning on the bar with his face towards the mirror behind it and Bucky is turned to the side facing him. Bucky places a gentle hand on Steve’s lower back and the blond jumps a bit in surprise, his boyfriend smiles wide and starts rubbing Steve’s back again, going up and down and he melts into the touch once more.

“How are you holding?” Bucky questions.

“I’m okay”, Steve assures with a nod.

His boyfriend smirks at him before he takes a long gulp of his soda, his head tilted backwards exposing his throat, Steve just stares at him wanting to kiss his neck, his left hand tight around the glass of juice he’s holding, Bucky finishes his beverage and looks back at Steve fondly.

“Soooooo?” Bucky wiggles his eyebrows.

“Hey, how come you’re not drinking?” Steve asks, “alcohol, I mean, it’s free”, the blond shrugs casually.

“I wanna be able to witness everything”, Bucky says.

“About that…” Steve sighs heavily, “you might think it’s not too much but you’ve help me a lot tonight”, he whispers.

“That’s why I’m here”, Bucky offers a small smile, his hand keeps moving up and down Steve’s broad back.

“Imma have to make it up to you somehow”, Steve comments.

“I don’t do this because I expect something in return”, Bucky assures.

“I know, baby”, Steve says squeezing Bucky right hand over the bar, “but I want to”, he nods.

“Oh, yeah?” the brunet quirks an eyebrow in question, “got any ideas?” he wonders.

“I might have one or two”, he winks at Bucky.

“See? Another reason to stay sober then”, his boyfriend smiles, his teeth digging on his lower lip teasingly.

Steve stares between Bucky’s mouth and his eyes, and then all around his face, he soaks in everything he can, they’re standing really close to each other, Steve just has to move a couple of inches to reach his boyfriend’s lips, Bucky’s eyes are telling him exactly what he’s feeling, the same thing that Steve wants: to make out with him until they’re naked rubbing against each other, nothing but skin and sweat, touches and kisses, arms and legs entangled, a mess of hairs at the top of their heads, marks and scratches along their bodies, moans and whispers, nothing and no one else but them.

“Look at them, Peppy!” a man shouts behind them, “they’re so cute together”, he says.

The blond shuts his eyes and takes a deep and long breath, and then releases all of the air through his nose slowly, Bucky chuckles next to him, understanding exactly what’s happening, his boyfriend pats his shoulder and Steve does an exaggerated eye roll before they turn around to face the man behind them. They were definitely having a moment and of course it had to be interrupted by no other than Tony Stark, _brilliant!_

***

“I’m so sorry, guys”, Pepper says when she reaches Tony, putting a stern hand over the man’s shoulder, “I’m afraid he’s been drinking all night”, she comments, “right, Tony?” the woman asks the man with the goatee.

“Just a teensy bit”, Tony holds up his index finger and thumb pressed together before he hiccups and starts giggling.

“Tony, you should give Pepper a break, don’t you think?” Bucky says and the woman smiles fondly.

“Whoa!” Tony opens his eyes wide and takes a step forward and gets closer to Steve, “you are really handsome, you look like you belong in a magazine”, the man says holding Steve’s tie with both of his hands.

“We know, Tony”, Bucky chuckles and gives Steve a tiny smile, the blond is trying really hard not to giggle, “my boyfriend is really handsome”, Bucky nods and grabs Tony hands to guide him away from Steve, Pepper is also laughing in the background.

“You’re really handsome too, are you guys models?” Tony questions, his eyebrows frowned.

“C’mon, Tony”, Pepper says patting Tony’s back, “let’s get you some water”, she nods at him.

“Pepper!” Tony cheers with a big smile, like he hasn’t noticed the girl was standing next to him all this time, Steve and Bucky giggle a bit, “I love you, Pepper”, the man says leaning in to hug her, the woman returns the hug quickly and helps him stand up straight again.

“What do you say if we go and rest for a bit?” The woman suggests.

“Hey, have I ever told you why I call her Pepper?” Tony asks them with his eyes open wide, his hand holding Pepper’s against his chest, she doesn’t look angry just a bit tired but she’s trying hard not to laugh.

“Why, Tony?” Steve’s is the one who asks behind a smirk.

“Because she’s the pepper to my salt”, the guy says, “she spices up my life”, Tony adds with a wink.

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me”, Pepper rolls her eyes exaggeratedly but there’s a smile on her face along with a cute rosy blush on her cheeks

“So romantic”, Bucky laughs out loud.

“C’mon, Tony”, the woman hooks her arm around the man’s, “say goodbye to our friends, please”, she insists, “aside from this, I hope you’re having a good time”, Pepper addresses them, completely ignoring Tony who’s trying to unbutton his jacket.

“Of course,” Steve says, “don’t worry about us”, his boyfriend adds.

“Everything is perfect, thanks, Pepper”, Bucky smiles at her.

“Look, honey!” Tony yells, “there’s Rodhey, let’s go say hi”, the man demands, his arm stretched pointing across the room.

“I’ll see you guys later”, the woman adds before she lets herself be dragged by Tony. The couple waves goodbye and stare at them until they’re no longer in sight, Steve giggles a bit and Bucky joins him.

“Quite the character”, the brunet says.

“Yeah”, Steve hums.

“Anyway, where were we?” Bucky giggles his eyebrows, “oh, yeah, you were undressing me with your eyes”, he chuckles.

“I was not!” Steve shakes his head, a huge smile on his lips and a deep blush on his cheeks.

“Sure, Stevie”, he pats his boyfriends shoulder, “whatever you say”, he giggles. 

Bucky decides to order another drink but this time he settles with water, Steve leans back away from the bar and takes a look around the place, he’s way more peaceful and at ease, nothing compare to when they arrived, the man had been shaky and skittish, but now he seems to be enjoying himself, _fucking finally_ , humming comfortably while he keeps eating crackers, and tapping his foot against the floor at the rhythm of the music in the background.

He considers about asking Steve for a dance but he decides not to, Bucky wasn’t lying when he said he wants to rip his clothes off, and the look the blond was giving him right before Tony interrupted, it was making Bucky’s knees feel weak, and now, if by any chance his lower body brushes Steve’s he’s going to get an erection, _for sure_ , which might be a bit tasteless considering they’re surrounded by a lot of people in fancy attires, so no dancing tonight.

“Hey, do you wanna look around again?” Steve says nodding his head towards the back of the place, where the art exhibit is located.

“Sure”, Bucky answers.

Steve dusts off his hands and cleans his mouth with a napkin while Bucky takes the last sip of water and leaves the glass on top of the bar, Steve holds Bucky’s hand and the brunet gently squeezes as they start walking towards the paintings. His boyfriend points out a few other things he didn’t say the first time they did the walkthrough, he’s obviously more relaxed since he’s sharing a lot, even asking what things Bucky likes and why, and once again, every time someone new congratulates him for his work, he introduces him as his boyfriend to include him, it makes Bucky swell with emotions, his hand tight around Steve’s never wanting to let go.

Once again, they reach Steve’s pieces and Bucky feels overwhelmed like the first time he saw them, but now, instead of him being in front of Steve inspecting the pieces, Steve explains a bit about them, when and why he did them. Bucky wasn’t wrong when he understood there’s a piece of Steve in each brushstroke, the blond’s face lights up every time he talks about them, how much he loves his city and the work he does, his mother and how much he misses her, moments spent with Captain on that little backyard, and last but not least, Bucky.

_Yes, me!_

“The first time I saw you I wished I had a sketchbook with me”, Steve whispers, his eyes glued to the set of frames in front of them, “I wanted to draw you so bad”, he confesses, his usual blush in place.

“I was so rude to you”, Bucky says sadly, squeezing Steve’s hand where it lays next to his.

“You had your reasons”, Steve comments still not taking his eyes away from the painting.

“Pretty stupid if you ask me”, the brunet mumbles, Steve turns his head to look at him, his eyes are clear and calm, that deep stare that Bucky can so easily get lost in.

“You’re here now, I don’t care about anything else”, his boyfriend shakes head.

“Yeah”, Bucky sighs deeply, both of his hands holding Steve’s left.

Steve offers him a small smile before he turns around to face the pieces of art one more time, Bucky keeps holding Steve’s hand and looks between Steve and the paintings, hoping the time could stop in that precise moment. When Steve has had enough, he moves to face Bucky again, but he looks different, he has a teasing smirk on his face, almost mischievous, he takes a step forward to get into Bucky’s personal space and places a hand over Bucky’s hip, squeezing gently.

“Let’s get out of here”, his boyfriend says.

“What?” Bucky frowns, “as in right now?” he questions.

“Yeah, let’s go home”, Steve nods.

“Okay”, the brunet answers narrowing his eyes at Steve, it almost sounds like a question.

“Okay?” the blond is asking for reassurance.

“Yes”, Bucky smiles wide.

***

“Buck, you know they have cameras here, right?” Steve chuckles, he’s currently pressed against the mirrored wall of the elevator, his boyfriend kissing him on the side of his neck and the only thing he can do is tilt his head back to give him more room.

After Steve decided he had enough of everything and everyone, he knew it was time to leave, the evening turned out to be fantastic, but in that moment, while he stared at Bucky’s paintings, the only thing he wanted to do was undress his boyfriend and shower him with kisses. Steve pulled Bucky’s hand and guided him towards the elevator right away, not stopping for anything or anyone, he knew it was rude of him but probably nobody was going to remember it the day after since most of the people there are drunk or on their way there.

When they walked inside the elevator, Bucky didn’t even wait for the doors to close when he was pressing his body against Steve. The blond responded by placing his hands on each side of Bucky’s face and gave him one long and passionate kiss, it didn’t seem to be enough for his boyfriend since he started to move his way down his neck, his arms meticulously placed around Steve’s waist.

 _And that brings us to where we are now_.

“Babe…Buck”, Steve whispers drawing out a shaky breath.

“Mmhm?” Bucky hums nibbling the blond’s earlobe.

The elevator comes to a stop and the doors ring open, that’s when Bucky stops what he’s doing and leans back, Steve giggles when he sees the mess at the top of his boyfriend’s head and tries to smooth his hair back in place. They walk towards the receptionist who hands them their coats and informs them that a ride will be waiting for them at the door. Is not the same driver this time, Happy, is another guy in a different car, a slim and much younger man holding the door of a black Sedan wide open.

“Mr. Barnes, Mr. Rogers”, the kid nods once, “evening, gentleman”, the guy says, “Happy is a bit busy at the moment but he send me on his behalf”, he smiles.

“Oh, okay”, Steve nods.

“No offense kid, but how old are you?” Bucky chuckles.

“I know I look young but I’m eighteen”, the kid says cheerfully.

“Well, you look young ‘cause you are”, Steve giggles.

“My name is Harley Keener, at your service”, he does a small reverence.

The kid, _teenager to be exact_ , seems way younger than he is, he’s blond, slim and clumsy, much like every other man of his age, and for what Steve can tell he’s witty and funny, but not like Bucky, more like Tony, a younger Tony Stark.

“Bucky and Steve, no need for the mister title”, his boyfriend says, “aren’t you a bit young to be working here?” Bucky adds.

“Tony offered me a job for the Holidays, I said yes right away, I couldn’t deny a job at Stark Industries, right?” he says excitedly.

“Of course”, Bucky comments, almost sarcastically.

“Anyway, to Mr. Rogers’ residence?” the guy says.

“Yes, please”, Steve answers, “I’ll get the door”, he tells Harley.

“Okidokie”, the younger man nods and walks away and around the car to start the engine.

“I don’t know where Tony gets these kids”, Bucky whispers and Steve chuckles.

“Hey, I didn’t want to assume, but are you staying at my place?” the blond wonders.

“Yes”, his boyfriend answers plainly, Bucky takes a step forward, puts his hands on each side of Steve’s neck and leans in, “you have some ideas you want to show me, remember?” the brunet whispers into his ear, his voice soft and hot breath against Steve’s skin, sending a chill down his spine, Steve swallows loudly and nods.

His boyfriend steps inside the car and Steve tries hard not to stare at his ass in the process, Bucky scoots to the side and the blond sits next to him, the young man behind the wheel asks them if they want to listen any specific radio station and Bucky answers that whatever is fine, the guy sets up a rock station that’s playing Metallica. Steve stares at the road and leans back on the seat, the brunet keeps chatting with Harley about a science project he did for a fair based on Tony’s work, Bucky just nods and hums for the most part while the teenager talks enthusiastically.

Steve isn’t paying much attention to them, just hearing their voices on the background, but then Bucky puts his hand over his thigh and moves it up, way too close to his crotch, just like he was doing back at the Fundraiser under the table. And again, he doesn’t say anything, he places his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders and Bucky shifts closer to him, his leg pressed against Steve’s.

“So, Harley, are you going to College?” Bucky questions, his voice is steady and he’s looking at Harley while his hand keeps tracing Steve’s penis over his pants.

The man driving has no idea what is going on in the back seat and Steve feels the pit of his stomach hot, he presses his lips together while he shivers under his boyfriend’s touch, his left hand massaging Bucky’s shoulder gently. Steve chest starts growing in and out a bit faster as Bucky continues to rub his cock, it twitches in response at the warm touch and he desperately tries not to moan.

“I’m working on it, I’m trying to figure some things out first”, Harley says, “I wanna go to MIT though”, he adds with a nod, both of his hands tight around the wheel and his gaze focused on the road.

“That’s cool, you should totally do it”, Bucky comments.

“Yeah, I hope I can”, the younger guy says.

Bucky turns his head to the right and leans in, he kisses Steve’s cheek, then he smirks at him while he moves his hand up and down rubbing the blond’s dick, Steve sucks his lower lip inside his mouth and he knits his eyebrows together, the brunet’s smile just grows wider.

By the time they arrive to Steve’s house, he’s half hard inside his dress pants and they’re beginning to feel too tight and uncomfortable, his boyfriend kept casually talking to the driver and Steve didn’t trust himself to add anything to the conversation. He does a quick goodbye with Harley and opens the car door himself and moves quickly towards his house, he doesn’t wait for Bucky but he’s sure the man’s not so far behind him.

“You’re trying to kill me, I swear”, Steve whispers, his shaky hand holding the key as he tries to open the front door, his face feels dry because of the weather but he’s not cold at all, quite the contrary, his skin is on fire.

“Of course not”, Bucky says, Steve can clearly hear the smile on Bucky’s voice, his boyfriend presses his chest against Steve’s back and places his hands on the blond’s waist, he gently kisses the back of Steve’s neck and he shivers when he feels Bucky’s breath and his piercing cold on his skin.

When they’re finally inside, they get rid of their coats and toss them over the couch, Bucky gets closer to Steve and the blond carries him right away, the brunet puts his legs and arms around Steve’s body and he holds him tightly against him, his hands groping his boyfriend’s ass. Steve puts his lips on Bucky’s and kisses him passionately like he’s been wanting to do all night, their mouths slightly parted, their tongues wet inside their mouths, the blond licks the roof of his boyfriend’s mouth and Bucky sucks Steve’s lower lip. They pant heavily through their noses as their hands roam around each other’s bodies; it’s messy and hot, and all they need at the moment.

Steve kisses Bucky’s jaw and down his neck, Bucky tosses his head backwards and moans softly and the sweet sound of his voice makes Steve’s cock twitch again, “Steve, I want you so bad”, the brunet says.

“Yeah?” Steve questions before he starts nibbling Bucky’s earlobe, “how do you…” the blond doesn’t get to finish because Captain comes to stand close to them, the dog starts barking loudly and Steve huffs through his nose, “perfect timing, buddy”, he says sarcastically.

His boyfriend chuckles as Steve puts him back on the floor, Steve knows his four-legged friend probably has to go outside and do his necessities, sadly, he has to ignore his aching penis at the moment to tend Captain first. Steve turns on the heating system before the couple walks upstairs to change into comfortable clothes.

***

“You gotta see the positive side here, at least we won’t ruin our suits”, Bucky chuckles unbuttoning his shirt.

“I guess”, Steve says sadly, putting on a pair of grey sweatpants, “I’ll go and play with Cap for a bit, you wait for me here”, he adds.

Bucky finishes taking his clothes off and lies on the bed, stretching like a starfish on top of the mattress, sighing deeply, wearing nothing but boxer briefs, he stares up at the ceiling. Steve walks closer to him and sits on the edge of the bed, the blond looks down at him, he cups his face gently and Bucky smiles at him, leaning into the touch and humming happily.

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Bucky asks.

“Nah, it’s pretty cold out, we won’t take long”, the blond shakes his head.

“I’ll be here”, he nods.

Steve gives Bucky a kiss on the forehead before he walks out of the room, Bucky smiles wide and sighs happily. He stays there for a couple of minutes, not really doing anything, until he feels cold and gets under the covers. Of course he hasn’t forgotten about Steve’s suggestion, that they might try something different tonight, and Bucky obviously wants to do it, and mostly after their heated ride back home, although his erection is long gone by now.

On the other side, and weirdly enough, that’s not Bucky’s priority, he’s just so happy to be where he is, physically and emotionally, he’s in Steve’s house, a place he can call home now, where he can escape from the outside world and spend time with his boyfriend, being comfortable and wanted, but most importantly, loved. And emotionally… _Oh, boy!_ The fact that Steve makes Bucky want to be a better person still surprises him on a daily basis, sometimes he wakes up and lies in bed for more then a few minutes wondering about his life, just like right now.

How did he get here? How did he manage to get so lucky?

Bucky has never been a needy kind of guy, _or better said, was_ , he enjoys being by himself, but also spending time with friends and family, he struggles with showing his feelings, or sorting them out for that matter, he never put much attention to them, he didn’t had to. With his past partners it was mostly a physical thing and he never got invested in what other people felt or thought about him, call him cold or heartless, but it was always easier that way, not to get emotionally invested, that way he didn’t have anything to lose.

But with Steve? _Steve goddamn Rogers_. We are talking butterflies in his stomach, headaches, hugs and kisses, happy tears and sad tears, happiness and frustration, excited and angry, everything and anything, he’ll take it.

Love.

Bucky is madly, crazy, stupidly in love.

“Hey…Buck”, Steve’s voice brings him back to reality.

The man is kneeling behind him on top the bed, Bucky looks over his shoulder and smiles at him, he turns around until he’s resting on his back again. Steve lifts the covers and gets inside, scooting closer to him with a grin on his face, Bucky cuddles next to him, Steve hugs him and brings him close.

“I thought you were gonna be asleep”, his boyfriend says.

Bucky nuzzles against Steve and shakes his head, his arm tossed across Steve’s chest, “almost”, he says, “about your proposal… we can do it some other time, right?” he asks hopeful, bating his eyelashes at the blond.

“Of course, it was just a suggestion”, Steve shrugs.

“I don’t even know what you were gonna suggest but I know I wanna do it, obviously”, Bucky winks, “I’m a bit tired, that’s all, but I could you know…”, Bucky places his left hand on Steve’s stomach and starts moving it down, closer to Steve’s penis.

Steve places his right hand on top of Bucky’s and gives it a light squeeze, he shakes his head looking down at him, “don’t worry, babe”, he says, “it’s okay”, his boyfriend smiles. Bucky narrows his eyes at him, remembering about what happened in the morning, “honest”, Steve sighs, “I’m kinda tired too”, he assures.

Bucky tilts his head up and puckers his lips, Steve giggles and brings his lips closer to Bucky’s, the brunet can feel the other man’s breath against his mouth, he shifts a bit and Steve moves back with a smirk on his face. The brunet pouts his lips and Steve ducks his head, this time putting his lips on Bucky’s, he returns the kiss without hesitation, it’s slow and lazy, sweet and cozy at the same time.

They lay there for a couple of minutes, just hugging, kissing and cuddling; Bucky loves moments like these, just the two of them without having to worry about anything or anyone else.

“What are you thinking?” Steve wonders, “you got quiet all the sudden, everything alright?” his boyfriend worries, a frown on his face.

“Yeah”, he nods quickly, “just, you know… about us, me being here”, Bucky says as he hugs Steve even tighter, his head resting on his boyfriend’s chest.

“Well, I love having you here”, the blond comments, “I love you, Buck”, Steve grabs Bucky’s hand and kisses it.

“I love you too, Stevie”, Bucky smiles wide, “you did so good today, and I loved your paintings, I really did”, he says.

“Thank you, it means a lot to me”, Steve nods.

“You are very welcome”, he sighs.

The couple falls into comfortable silence again, Steve starts playing with Bucky’s hair gently, the brunet’s eyelids begin to feel heavy, he closes his eyes and concentrates in his boyfriend’s hands, Bucky’s breath evens out and the last thing he remembers is Steve kissing his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooooo so sorry for the delay of this chapter, I finished it quite a while back but I wasn't feeling it, I hope you like it!
> 
> I've been in a weird mood lately but it's getting better, writing helps. I know this chapter is rotten sweet but that's exactly what I need right now, don't hate me :*
> 
> This chapter is more on the long side, but the next one is a bit short, and next we'll have Christmas and New Year's Eve chapters, and they're gonna be hella sweet too (you've been warned), after that Imma try to spice things up, don't you worry.
> 
> You know I love hearing from you guys, so let me know what you think, comments and suggestions are always welcome!
> 
> :D
> 
> I hope you guys had a good time during the Holidays, it's always a time to celebrate, it doesn't really matter what, whether is having food on the table and a roof over your head or simply enjoying a cup of coffee, there's people out there that have a really hard time, don't turn your back on each other, stay safe and look out for one another.
> 
> XXOO

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to contact me if you have any suggestions or questions, maybe I can give you a few peeks into what's coming!
> 
> You can messages me here or find us on Tumblr.
> 
> bitter_eyes: http://mywaywarddaughter.tumblr.com/


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